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lesbiansanemi · 11 months

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Hey, I wanted to ask here because it isn't really important to the story, but in Last Sunrise how does Shinobu feel about Giyuu's death?

Like, how does she feel with the fact that the deppresed and somehow lazy (I don't think she saw him as someone hardworking, she in canon sees him as someone very distracted), who isolated himself, voiced against her experiments and even sided Sanemi after he helped Kyojuro, died like he clearly wanted. And she, who did everything for the cause and worked hard for what she wanted, didn't? (I like to think Shinobu in canon actually likes to socialize with Giyuu because she figured that like her, he is intending to die.)

Has she even noticed? Because again, Giyuu isn't that important and right now she has too much on her plate to care of how is anyone doing. She has even started to isolate herself, so unless the butterfly girls or Kanao told her she wouldn't know who survived and who didn't, besides with everything she is going through some deaths of people who were never arpund to begin with might take longer to sink in.

Btw I love your writtings, thank you for sharing your works.

Yeah, so! Honestly (like you guessed) Shinobu isn't exactly processing everyone who died. She was told by the Butterfly Girls who died, as well as who was in critical condition and are now currently living in her estate due to injuries. So she does know, but she is... not exactly caring.

Part of it is due to the fact that she spent the first few weeks after the battle transforming, so she was unconscious, and then in so much pain she couldn't function. (She wasn't exaggerating when she told Akaza she spent days with her "skin sloughing off"), so she missed most of the grieving period most people got, as well as all the memorial services, so it feels less... real, that so many people died, including Giyuu

She is also most definitely pissed and grieving her own missed death. Because she is so bitter, she is definitely jealous and upset that so many people died while she was forced to live. Giyuu is not necessarily any more significant than characters like Mitsuri and Gyomei in that sense. However, she also has no idea how Giyuu died because no one told her. For all she knows, he just so happened to die. She doesn't know he deliberately sacrificed his life for Genya. If she knew that, she might harbor more intense feelings of envy towards Giyuu since he was able to sacrifice himself for the cause like she intended to, and with "little effort" on his part (quite literally just pushing Genya out of the way of Kokushibo's sword strike)

And now, with quite literally every bit of her focus being poured into recreating the cure, and isolating herself to the degree that pretty much the only person she talks to is Yushiro and maybe Kanao if she can catch her in the right mood, the potential grief and feelings for all the lives lost has been stalled even further

Ultimately, she's still stewing in so many of her own negative feelings (now coupled with guilt and regret over what she did to Kyojuro) that thinking about the people she's lost has been pushed so far back, whether it's negative or positive feelings about them. It won't be until much later that she actually considers it, and is able to have genuine feelings on all the death

I hope that was a satisfying answer!

#kimetsu no yaiba #shinobu kocho #giyuu tomioka #asks #kaz rambles

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phoenixtakaramono · 3 years

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Hi! :) I was reading your post about SQH in TUT and it got me thinking. Since this version also wrote SVSSS, when he transmigrates does he realize his "dream" was real? Also, you hinted that he recognizes SY as the same person who transmigrated into SQQ, so now I'm wondering if he tells SY that, and how SY would react to learning he's the protagonist of SVSSS in another universe. I just love thinking about how meta this could potentially get, haha.

Can't wait to find out more! Keep up the good work!

(Follow-Up Post to: Part I, Part II)

@the-legend-of-chel 👏👏👏 Luv, good to see you in my Asks! I’m glad to hear that you’re looking forward to finding out more in The Untold Tale! And thanks for your support and encouragement. 💖

(TUT ch1 - Excerpt)

You’re right. There is a lot of meta potential with older!Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky being the MXTX equivalent in this AU—or, rather, I like to imagine him growing up to be the Stephen King equivalent of modern day China with a prolific portfolio of written works (novels and short stories, and extras). In canon, he churned out a great number of words per chapter and in a speedy amount of time! Do you guys know how miraculous that is, as a writer? I envy him so much! To be able to churn out that much content in a short amount of time, and in a scheduled regimen, is amazing! That’s basically my angle having written this into the prologue of TUT. That’s partially the reason why I wrote ch1. I liked the idea of paying homage to SVSSS and saying that it’s an actual book series in TUT universe that Airplane wrote (as funny as the idea would be, I wasn’t about to let SY be the one to write it, lol, for intellectual property reasons since the PIDW characters belong to Airplane, which would necessitate SY changing names and character appearances if he published what we know as irl SVSSS, so the best I can give SY is saying he wrote his own PIDW fanfic which basically launched his novelist career because he’d realized, hey, I actually have a knack for writing and the ever so spiteful I feel like practically every writer has had this thought before: fine, if I don’t see what I want to read, then I’ll write it myself!)

(TUT ch1 - Excerpt)

We’re approaching TUT spoiler territory so skip below if you don’t wish to be spoiled.

TUT (Meta) Spoilers

I personally love meta. If I’m to be writing a lovestory to SVSSS, there will be attempts at meta thrown into TUT. And this is one of them:

Airplane did “dream” about canon SVSSS. He basically “dreamt” about his favorite black powder fan, Peerless Cucumber

changing events of Airplane’s biggest regret Proud Immortal Demon Way. (As a writer, it embarrasses me to read my old writing. So I imagine it could be the same for Airplane.) As an author, Airplane recognized what he dreamt had potential to be a commercial success as a danmei transmigration story so basically every time he woke up, he would write pieces of what he remembers in a dream journal when the memory was fresh in his brain. It also allowed Airplane the opportunity to show his readers through the perspective of SY! Shen Qingqiu what Airplane had originally wanted to write, but integrated in a way that blends seamlessly into the reading experience. He would’ve thought it was a bit weird and strange that his brain dreamt about his past critic—whom he’d considered a small celebrity in the PIDW forums back then—aka his anti-fan-turned-accomplished-novelist in the writing industry, so he felt embarrassed that his unconscious brain must have thought very highly of the man.

So Airplane omitted any mention of Peerless Cucumber from the final draft of SVSSS (if he mentioned both “Shen Yuan” and “Peerless Cucumber,” then even SY would be like, Hey, wait one moment....). This detail will be included in a later chapter, but did you know the name “Shen Yuan” has come up in other works? Let’s ignore the variations on the Chinese written characters for the name “Shen Yuan.” There was the evil older brother character Shen Yuan from The Rebirth of the Malicious Empress of Military Lineage, a side character named Shen Yuan from a C-drama (I think he was an old minister?), and there’s even an irl visual artist named Shen Yuan. Shen Yuan (Shen Garden) is also a famous romantic garden in Shaoxing, known for the love story between Lu You and Tang Wan.

(Shen Yuan Garden - Trip Advisor Review)

Basically “Shen Yuan” in itself is not a particularly uncommon name in China (imo I would not say it’s super popular either). So when SY saw his name mentioned once or twice in Airplane’s SVSSS—aka rebooted PIDW—during his read-through, he was like, Huh, what a strange coincidence. And then dismissed it as circumstantial and thought nothing of seeing his name come up in a cutsleeve novel as the new protagonist, haha. It’s like a book written by Anne Rice; one of the titles coincidentally has the same name as mine. Now, obviously the book and main character is not based or inspired by me; I just coincidentally share the same name. If I see books which have characters with my same first name, generally I like to read them and sometimes even collect them for my bookshelves. Because there’s something just so fun and interesting about seeing your own name in a fictional piece of work.

There’s also meta joke potential about Airplane dreaming of himself being transmigrated into the cannon fodder Shang Qinghua and seeing the romantic miscommunications between the younger version of himself (his self-insert essentially) and the fictional Mobei jūn character. I can certainly say seeing such dreams would make Airplane question his sexuality and awaken something dormant in him, haha. He’d realize he might not be not as straight as he thought he was, if his brain was capable of dreaming of SY!SQQ being crushed on by LBH, and SQH being crushed on by MBJ and essentially following MBJ around calling him “my king” this and “my king” that. He’ll be sweating bullets when he meets this world’s version of MBJ, because Airplane will definitely remember how the younger Self-Insert version of himself acted toward MBJ in the SVSSS world. (It’s the classic “Just because I dreamed about it happening doesn’t mean it’ll happen here, right? ...Right? Cucumber brother, you’re a fortuneteller! Please check our eight characters for me! I have to know my marriage compatibility with Mobei jūn!”)

In a later chapter, there will be the reveal where Airplane tells Shen Yuan that he “dreamt” of a universe where a younger version of Shen Yuan—having choked on mantou (馒头) (paying homage to the donghua) or just being transmigrated in general after raging at a younger ASTTS’s writing (paying homage to the books)—transmigrated into the Shen Qingqiu we know from SVSSS who married Bing mèi. Because I think it will be hilarious when TUT’s SY finds out about the true source of Airplane’s inspiration, and he’ll naturally freak out over the fact that this is the very same Bing gē from Airplane’s Bing-gē vs Bing-mèi extra and that he’s essentially somehow stumbled on the same path as the alternative younger SY!SQQ “from Airplane’s imagination.” I will leave this open to interpretation if this does show up (it’s just an idea I’m playing with) but I might hint that there might be a higher power at play which allowed Airplane a peek into another universe—which manifested as his dreams.

I very much like this dynamic (we might see this exchange, verbatim, in a future chapter in TUT):

SY/ LBH —> He gave him a disdainful gaze.

Airplane cried inwardly at the oppression and the feeling of being wronged.

Haha, none of this is really Airplane’s fault^ though. It’s a fun parallel and if I’m still motivated when we get to the wedding and consummation chapter, we might see an epilogue where SY and Bing gē from TUT meets SY!SQQ and Bing mèi maybe. Because I think it’ll be funny with the two LBHs getting into a shouting/ fighting match about who has the “superior Shen Yuan” while the two SYs just shake their heads at their silly husbands (and potentially TUT’s SY, as the older party, can impart his fortunetelling wisdom and advice to SY!SQQ).

Personally I can’t wait when we get to those chapters, because I know it’ll be entertaining to write, haha. Personally TUT is a fun project because there’s just so much meta potential that can be incorporated and I have a lot of fun imagining the scenarios.

*Note: like always, keep in mind that these are just my current thoughts. Details are subject to change; things aren’t considered official until they show up in the final draft on AO3. :)

The Novelists’ First Impressions

The first impression SY and Airplane will have of each other will be fun. Because in their perspective, written in my notes it’s essentially like:

(Airplane seeing SY):

His first reaction was shock. Shock because the mere mortal he used to be could not conceive so much charisma being emitted by this guy.

This is definitely a man who had put all of his stats into CHARISMA.

(SY seeing Airplane):

He's suspiciously good looking in ways that normal people are not.

Ah, the Cucumberplane friendship in TUT is going to be so much fun. Not only are these two older souls who transmigrated (both are mid-aged in this universe), they’re both accomplished novelists in their own right in the writing industry. Which means with these two being celestial beings, there’s so many clichés we can playfully poke fun at.

It also makes me laugh because imagine being SY, and seeing a guy (mortal!Airplane) who exudes the same energy as these two imperial princes GIFs:

#svsss #人渣反派自救系统 #shang qinghua #moshang #shen yuan #bingyuan #binggeyuan #the untold tale #phoenixtakaramono #ask #the-legend-of-chel #phoenix talks #reply #replied #answered #I’m almost done photobashing older SY #so there’s gonna be additional visual context #for how he appears in TUT (my headcanon at least)

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sol1056 · 6 years

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I think all yall choreograph the asks or something. I seem to get the same topic in batches. This time, two non-anon and one anon (not counting DMs even), so I’m just going to wrap it all up together since there was a lot of overlap.

behind the cut: where I get ideas, beta readers, writing ahead, writing fast, editing fast, dealing with OCs, writing emotional scenes, and how I learned to write. questions about publishing and agents will be in the followup.

where do you get your ideas

the ‘what if’ questions. the source might vary -- a story if it’s fanfic, or history if it’s profic. by what-if, I mean a throwaway comment, implication, plot hole, gap, or missed chance. what if the characters end canon with this other dynamic, what if the protagonist goes left instead of right at a crucial moment, what if Lý Chiêu Hoàng hadn’t been deposed as queen regnant, what if Nobunaga had survived the attack at Honnō-ji, what if Nyi Roro Kidul had founded her own people, etc.

from there, I stage that moment in my head like a fractal, seeking out the most interesting ways everything could go wrong. what I'm looking for is an image, a bit of dialogue, capturing that moment of sacrifice, betrayal, a twist in some way. this either ends up as the precipitating event, the midpoint, or the finale (basically one of the three pivotal emotional points). then I work backwards from there. for ffic, I need to figure out how characters get from canon to that point; for profic, I figure out what kind of characters would end up there.

do you have a beta reader

uhm. not really? I’ve asked for help a few times, when I’m not sure of a particular characterization, but other than the first chapter of Bonds (for reasons I’ll explain in the followup), I don’t usually bother. after all, it’d be horribly rude to send off a chapter and then expect anyone to respond inside of a week. let alone a few days. I envy people who have the patience to wait on a beta reader ‘cause I feel like their stories are tighter as a result, but since there are small amazonian frogs with more patience than me, I figure what I write must stand or fall on its own.

however, I do tend to bestow snippets liberally on whomever’s talking to me online while I write, and I pay attention to their reactions. in fanfic, I’ll also sometimes run a scenario past a few people to see if their gut instinct on a characterization matches mine. that might be a kind of narrow-focus beta reading, maybe.

do you write some/all before you post

nope. I totally post-as-I-go (and yes that does mean at some point I was writing about 6K nightly, I’m not proud). if you said I had to write the entire thing, edit carefully, review, even let it sit for awhile before posting, I’d probably hurt something. or I’d just explode from the enforced waiting.

for profic first draft (or fanfic final draft, same thing), I plan 2-3 chapters in advance. then I write until the word count hits 6K or so, call it a chapter, post, and start on the next chapter. I do that until I run out of plan. then I assess again, figure out the next few chapters’ plan, and repeat until the story feels done.

how do you write so fast

because a) I type fast, and b) you’re reading what’s effectively the first draft. writing that first go-round is always quick. I just sit down and spit out words. it’s polishing it into profic-levels, that editing phase, that can take weeks, even months. I’ve written pivotal scenes from scratch five, six, seven times if that’s what it takes. you’re just benefiting from my laziness with fanfic, basically.

how do you edit so fast

actually, I don’t. I tend to do it in fits and starts. even fanfic, if you compared first version posted with the current version, you’ll find changes here and there. mostly smoothing choppy parts, disambiguating, or just clarifying a muddy description. sometimes readers report a phrase felt wrong, or didn’t make sense, and I’ll tweak the offending line.

there are tricks to make it easier, though.

for profic, I write in scrivener, with a font of Open Sans, Lato, or Avenir, depending on my mood. a first pass of editing for the glaring issues, then I shift to full-screen display and change the font to Baskerville Old Face, Perpetua, or Oregon LDO. the radical font-change means sentences don’t end visually where they did before, and the serif element means I have to slow down slightly to read, a lot more will leap out at me. with fanfic, I write in google docs and post in AO3, but otherwise the font-changing process is similar.

how do you keep OCs from taking over

an OC is just a character who was -- or might’ve been -- in canon but had no lines. they’re third person from the left, in that crowd scene in episode 17. they occupy the same world, and they have a story of their own -- it’s just not this story. they have a goal, but the core question is: does their goal support or conflict with the protagonist? there’s the tension those OCs can provide.

on a more basic level, just don’t give them POV, and remember they exist to push the protagonist forward, or hold the protagonist back. if the reverse happens -- the protagonist pushes the OC forward, or holds the OC back -- then you’ve made the OC a major character and now the story’s warping to suit their goals. the focus must remain on the protagonist; it’s their story, after all.

how do you write a character’s emotion so the reader feels it

use restraint. a scene’s strongest emotion lies in the gaps between what the characters are telling and what they’re showing. restraint is how you create those gaps.

avoid the impulse to ever say the character feels anger, feels joy. instead, have the character do something or say something that expresses the emotion.

also, either we acknowledge an emotion, or we don’t. the first has no conflict, kiss of death for tension. the second, though, that’s basically a fight scene: the conflict is between the character and their own emotions. the key is choosing between word and deed to show the character’s purpose (narration or dialogue vs action). whatever’s left becomes the other half of the conflict.

use scent, taste, sensation, sight, sound to project the emotion, distance it from the character. like, they can breathe fine but the air is stuffy. their hand isn’t shaking; the paper just won’t hold still. leave it to the reader to draw a line between the narrative’s tone and the character’s mental/emotional state.

second, keep the sentences relatively short. think of the jump cuts in a filmed fight scene (or sex scene) -- you don’t need to see every move. that gets boring, fast. show only enough for the reader to connect the dots; what they put in the gaps will always be far more powerful for them than anything you'll achieve when spelling it all out.

here’s the real challenge, and one of the hardest kinds of scenes to write (but so satisfying when you nail it) -- a character who acknowledges one emotion while denying the truth beneath. this is the character who’s furious but refuses to admit the hurt powering that anger. or the character who’s happy on the surface but jealous or broken-hearted beneath.

my advice: overwrite the scene, take it to eleven... and then go back and cut one line in every four of dialogue, then do the same in the narrative. keep only the strongest lines. do another pass. keep going until the scene is down to a quarter the original length, and see what you’ve got.

how do you write so well

err, okay, setting aside the discomfort of being asked that -- ‘cause I see flaws all over the place, starting with just plain overwriting, srsly, is that word count really necessary -- whatever skill I do have, I learned in one simple way.

by critiquing other writers, and getting critiques in turn.

not beta-readers -- my experience with beta readers is that they don’t really tackle the story, though they may comment on characterization. mostly I’ve only ever gotten line edits (spelling, grammar, punctuation) and... that’s not really a critique, that’s a copy editor’s work. it’s valuable, but not what I mean.

a critique analyzes the work. they mark illogical or unrealistic dialogue, note missed opportunities for rising tension, point out potential plot holes or discrepancies. a good critique is sensitive to spikes and lulls in the pacing, and at a line-level it’s often attuned to repetition or ambiguity in word choice, muddy metaphors, even the ‘sound’ of the prose.

for every critique you do, you’re training your inner editor. I don’t catch everything (certainly never on the first pass), but having a stronger inner editor means being able to reflexively identify weaknesses. plus, exposure to other stories teaches you ways to fix those mistakes. to the point I sometimes edit as I write ‘cause I can already see what needs fixing.

lastly

if you want to write better, read better. critique everything.

this is not criticism, this is critique. this is why I post meta about whatever I’m reading/watching. by approaching a story through that analytical lens, I can peel apart what works (for me) and what fails (for me) and study my reaction. the goal is to duplicate what works and avoid what doesn’t.

you can’t learn to build a car engine just by looking at the outside of a car, after all. you gotta get in there, get the dirt and grease up to your elbows. take it down to the bolts, understand how it got put together. the same goes for writing. never be afraid to take apart anyone’s stories to see how they work.

and then, go write.

#writing #fanfic #editing #characterization #storytelling #vld #voltron

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