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tokoyamisstuff · 4 years

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A Thousand Years Ch. 1: “First Meeting” - Loki x Reader

Chapter Summary: Loki spends his sentence in Asgardian prison with nothing else to do than thinking about his wrongdoings. All of this guilt and self-loathing are leading him even deeper into his own insanity. And the only distraction are his memories of you.

Warnings: Angst, depression, flashbacks, mentions of death. Loki suffers.

Words: 4657

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“No matter what, I’ll always find my way back to you, Loki…”

It has always been the same dream, ever since he’s lost you in midst of his crimes. The beginning would be like a wondrous theathre, like how one would imagine heaven to be. You’d be waiting for him on the hill of your first meeting, looking as breathtaking as always. But when the sky darkened, he remebered what that all was about, and that it couldn't last.

When you’d turn around, he wouldn’t see any hint of aversion towards him - only those bright, loving doe eyes, which have been the only thing in the universe that made his icy heart feel some kind of warmth.

And this fact only made it harder for him: Why weren’t you mad? You should’ve been furious at him! You, the only person who would always believe in the God of Mischiev - disappointed in the cruelest way possible, his blood metaphorically spoken at his hands. “I love you, Loki. I was disappointed, indeed... But no matter how much I tried to hate you, I just can’t. You’re the love of my life, and I forgive you...I already forgave you the moment my heart stopped beating.” He felt tears running down his cheeks, falling down onto the grass in form of small ice drops. “Y/N, I am so deeply sorry! I-” he wanted to finish his sentence, try to explain himself and make you believe just how much he regrets his actions - but his throat felt like it was tied with barbwire. All he could do was running towards you, fighting his inner urge to just collapse into a mental breakdown. He was almost there, stretching out his arm to take your hand, to pull you right into his arms where you belonged. The Laufeyson didn't even realize that his hand had turned in a shade of dark blue, revealing his true form - a part of him only you were allowed to see. But you just disappeared, dissolving into what appeared to be embers, whispering that sentence as if you were standing right next to him: “I’ll find you. You just wait...don’t give up.”

Loki woke up, his breath heavy and face wet from the tears. Immediately, he sat up and looked around all the broken furniture just to pick up a piece of broken mirror, dirtied by his own blood when he broke it. The image he saw in it looked like the mess he was on the inside. It has been two weeks since Frigga found her death to the hand of a Dark Elf, the only person that kept the fragments of his soul together since your death - until now.

The God of Mischief had nothing anymore. He wouldn’t eat or drink since then, and the nightmares kept him from having a long needed, refreshing sleep as well. Every time he closed his eyes, he’d see either you or his mother - except for Thor the only people he ever cared about - die in the most excruciating ways one could think of. His desperation spiraled down to the point where he couldn’t even tell what was real, and what simply a delusion, made up by his own mind to torture him.

He never learned, didn’t he...Yes, indeed, he’s hopeless.

What horrendrous things did he say to you just before you died - and the same thing now happened to his mother.

Deep down in his heart he was very relieved that Thor had survived the war with the dark elves through his help - not that he’d ever admit it. And still, even though he did things one could call heroic, he got imprisoned here again. His father didn’t show any mercy, - and even though Loki could’ve easily fake his death and escape back then, he didn’t see the point in doing so.

All of his dreams: Being his brothers equal, erasing the Frost Giants from the nine realms, his birthright of ruling and finally earning respect...Nothing of it mattered any more.

Finally, he got to see what’s really important - but it’s too late now. Forever.

Loki would be doomed to cry and scream while having all of his mistakes played in his head in a continuous loop, seeing the haunting look of sadness and fear in your eyes and knowing he caused it.

Yes, this would be the only thing left of his meaningless existence.

“It is a fitting punishment, don’t you think, Y/N?” he almost chuckled, giving an empty stare to the prison ceiling. “This is more agony than Thanos could’ve ever brought upon me.”

The guard that was sitting on a wooden chair in front of his cell was raising a judging eyebrow to the once so intelligent and graceful prince, now looking like a peasant and talking to himself.

Oh, how must he have failed you...This sure was a rightful penalty for a traitor and murderer just like he was, Loki concluded.

The emptiness in his heart was eating him alive, telling him you’re still gone.

It has always been just a feeling, honestly.

After so many time spent together, fighting back to back - loving each other, as well as having lost you before, he just knows it. When you’re back, needing him to remember you of who you truly are. He would know.

Loki couldn’t explain it himself. It seemed like a magical bond, yet he never found anything like this in the old books. Maybe Frigga knew the answer, yet he had always been too afraid to ask...

“You sure are leaving me waiting, Y/N...” Loki whispered to himself, feeling that constricting in his chest again as tears filled his already red and swollen eyes. “Are you really coming back? Or are you just mocking me?”

It didn’t matter.

Even though he knew he didn’t deserve it, his hope of you coming back to life were the only thing that kept him going.

If you were to never come back, he’d accept this fate and would pay for and regret his crimes till the end of his existence. On the other hand, if you’d be to ever come back, he would never allow himself to come near you again.

Anyway, death wasn’t an option.

“Have you already gone mad, Laufeyson?!” the guard finally yelled, kicking against the wall. “Whining and speaking scatterbrained words to yourself. You’re a disgrace, you’ve always been!”

Loki went silent, without doing so much as looking at the man, who in the past would’ve never dared to speak his mind. He didn’t care what he’d say - he was right with everything, anyway.

“If you’d ask anyone else in Asgard, you would’ve simply been executed! It’s such a waste that you’re allowed to live in all that luxury, thinking of what you’ve done!” he added, spitting to the ground. Seemed like the man Loki knew all those years finally showed his true face, considering he wouldn’t get punished for it anymore. “You’ve never been one of us, not even a god! You’re a wild animal and the Allfather should’ve never brought such a plaque like you over us!”

His voice had a tone of disgust that Loki knew all to well, even back as a kid when he was silently listening from the shadows to people talking about him.

He didn’t know why he never belonged. It was a feeling that he kept in his heart for so long that he thought it was a part of him - and when he realized just what he was, a part inside of him got shattered beyond repair.

The God of Mischief - he acted like he was carrying this title with pride, always acting all high and mighty. But it was just a facade.

All of his life, he just tried to be praised, loved - to fit in. Be the perfect son and brother everyone wanted. Yet that wasn’t him, and he got used to everyone seeing him as a disappointment. Trying to please, but always being seen as a disgrace - just for being himself.

There was something wrong with him from the very start, even before he got torn between his two heritages, he knew that much. Well, he found his way to get attention anyway - if not positive, he’ll take the negative one. Pranks, lies, being seen as a troublemaker.

He’d tell himself that he didn’t need anyone but himself, that one day they’ll realize their own hypocrisy and admire him for not leading an empty life as they do, restrained by rules and laws.

But this fragile walls he built around him were also lies. Lies he told himself to protect that sensitive boy that needed appreciation as desperately as breathing.

And you saw through all of his illusions from the very start.

The guard finally ended his rant, giving up on having a conversation with the fallen god. When he got back to his seat, Loki could finally and without distractions concentrate of the more important things.

It wasn’t that he’s gone fully mad - well, not more than usually. The memory of happier times were the only thing that kept him sane.

So he lied on the bare floor, closing his eyes again and concentrating all of his senses just to remember your scent, voice, touch...

____

Your first meeting dates almost 800 years ago, when both of you would probably be considered teenagers - calculated in god years, of course.

Almost as if it was fate, even though both of you never knew about it, you shared the same birth year. While Loki was born 09.02.967, you were born (your birthday) in the same year.

He remembers it like it was yesterday, when he escaped the royal garden once again to wander aimlessly around the wilds of Asgard. Actually, admiring the view of nature was one of the few things that truly brought some kind of peace to his confused soul.

"And you are?” the Odinson spoke, his back still facing you as you climbed the grassy hill he was standing on. From here, far away from the main city and the palace, you could overlook the whole sea, with civilization stretching over the horizon.

You gulped, trying to catch your breath as you undid your concealment spell and presented yourself fully. Immediately you bent your knee, showing your goodwill through facing the ground instead of answering.

“Surprised?” the man said as he turned around, giving you a crooked but satisfied grin. “No one can hide from the master of the shadows. I’ve wandered them a thousand times, so I can tell you’re not an amateur.”

“My prince” you started, still not daring to meet his eyes - out of respect, but also fear of his reaction, “I am deeply sorrry to having disturbed you. I mean no harm.”

“I can see that much” he retorted, raising an eyebrow. He knew you were right behind him this whole time. “I rather wonder what objective you might pursue, following me this far.”

“My name is Y/N”, you almost whispered, your voice shaking nervously. So many years you waited for this moment, and now you were about to ruin it because you just couldn’t find the right words to explain yourself.

“Then stand up, Lady Y/N” he said with a cold but well-meaning voice, reaching out his hand towards you to help you get on your feet again. Much to your surprise, of course - the stories you heared about him wouldn’t make you think that he’s this kind of a gentleman.

He lifted your chin with his fingers, and you would lie if you’d say that it didn’t make your heart race. This icy, stinging look you felt even before you met his eyes was just too much to bear. Not even to start about his looks and wits you could already tell were far beyond any tale about him.

And he was intrigued by your look as well. Eyes are the door to the soul, some people say, and even though he was outstanding at reading people, he’s never met someone like you - a mistery to him.

That weird mix of the tone in his voice caught his interest - so kind and calm, but also confident and with a storm hiding underneat. He could tell from the very first second, that the two of you were alike: Two sides of the same coin, having more than one layer of personality treats, but were also able to hide some parts of themself through being very good actors. It’s exhausting to pretend to be someone else, he thought.

Sadly, he thought to know immediately why you were here.

“Another one of my brother’s admirers, huh?” he spat, making those neutral eyes now direct a burning look of disgust at you.

“If you want to share his bed, the best way is to ask him directly” he explained, adding “With a man this...imbecile, there’s no need to be shy. And no need for formalities either.”

It’s not that Loki wasn’t attractive - he could be very charming, and wasn’t reseved when it came to lies just to have his ways with women. His Silver Tongue was known in all the Nine Realms, after all. Being the son of the Allfather would also help much when it came to this part of desire.

Yet Loki didn’t really have interest in relationships at all. Of course, he’d like to “conquest” sometimes, but it was more to feel equal to his popular brother, and boost his confidence.

No woman was even allowed to even speak to him after they’ve spent some hours together - not that any of them was heartbroken afterwards. The females he usually physically encountered were shallow. Not ones to have a real conversation with, or anything resembling a fun time.

They had their own intentions, that’s what made it so easy for him to just dump them instead of having a real bond with someone: Improving their social ranking, earning material gifts - or, what Loki hated most, simply getting near his way more attractive, famous brother.

Great, he managed to get lost in all those negative memories again, now ready to direct his anger towards you. The air has gotten thick after only as much as a few sentences. Sometimes it felt like his own mind was mocking him, keeping him from any form of joy.

“My prince” you repeated again, breaking his like of thought, “I fear there’s been a misunderstanding...” You cleared your throat, explaining “I am assigned to be your new guardian from now on.”

Well, at first you helped him to break free from remembering the embarassments of the past - yet your words wouldn’t be able to lift his mood in the slightest.

“You?!” he blurted out, holding his stomach in laughter. He was right, though.

Even though your body language had a serious military tone, you wouldn’t look like a warrior in the slightest: Small, pale and dressed in a long, silken dress instead of an armor.

“A true warrior doesn’t need to be intimidating, they need training, experience and tactics” you murmured - much to his approval. How often did he mock his brainless brother for only knowing blunt violence instead of thinking a plan through. Yes - another similarity between you and him.

You placed your right hand over your heart, to symbolize what honour this matter meant to you - while also trying to calm your own breath and heartbeat.

Not that it mattered for Loki, but he loved to be respected and was quite flattered of your words and actions.

He mustered you from head to toe, trying to find out why he was so involved with you from the very first second. Loki circled and watched you from every angle, making you even more flustered than you already were. All these years of preparation couldn’t help you deal with this unreal seeming moment.

You knew who you were dealing with, but you’d never think of how it all would turn out in the end.

“I-I am deeply sorry, Lord, I thought you’d already been informed about this” you babbled, not knowing that the mood was about to shift.

“Great” he gritted between his teeth, a grim tone coating his voice, “Incredible! A bodyguard?! What a joke...”

Loki walked back and forth, kicking some stones and yelling randomly while cussing words unsuitable for someone of the royal family. He just wasn’t able to find any rest in his head.

Yet he tried to comprehend why his father would want him to have a bodyguard - and the result of his pondering wasn’t really satisfying: Odin probably thought he was too weak, to ill-minded and not fit to be the heir of the throne. What a farce - someone of the royal family, not able to protect themselves and needing someone to watch over him all the time.

Or did his father simply not trust him? Is it that, he lets a “bodyguard” follow his every step and report all failures and mischief he causes directly to the Allfather, so he would be punished immediately?

Still, all the anger put aside, Loki was oddly restrained. Was it because he didn't want to concern you or have an all too bad first impression? You, who only knew him for a mere few minutes, and who is below him in any way?

For a long time, there was just silence. While the sun settled and night began, the two of you were still standing on that hill, encoated in an unsettling abscence of words.

"No" he finally cut through this thick air, "No, I haven’t been informed. I never am. Why ask your son anyway, if you don't care about his opinion anyway?" he now yelled, throwing his hands into the air.

He really lost his cool around you, leaving you only able to watch and listen him talking all the weight from his heart. "Now tell me: Do I really look that weak?! Hel!”

It made you sad seeing the mighty prince like this. Sorrow overcame you as you realized just what kind of pressure he was putting on himself.

Still saluting, you summouned a halberd and kneeled once again, the light of the settling sun making your whole silhouette shimmer. To Loki, it was a truly breathtaking view. Finally, his head was completely empty - absent from any of his usual dark thoughts.

“It is not my place to judge you or the majesty" you said confidently, without any doubt in your voice. "But I vow that from this moment on, all of my loyality will belong to you and only you, my prince. Ever since my birth I have been trained in secret, far away from any bindings, until I was ready to serve. You see, the Allfather also did me wrong, but I don't hold any grudge. He robbed me of a normal life, yet it was for a higher good."

Tz. How naive, he thought. But as much as he disliked your not at all justified understanding for his father, this vow managed to touch him deeply.

"And what's so special about a simple fire magician?"

For a second, you couldn't hide the look of surprise on your face. "How did you-"

"-know?" he interruped, obviously having regained his composure. "Don't insult me. I'm a master at the magic arts, and I'm much more experienced at that. At least concerning this, you are an open book to me."

"That's right" you explained while trying to stay professional as he mustered you again, picking on your clothes and weapon like a curious child.

"Yet you could say that I have a…” for a second, your voice got lost in your throat. “... property, that makes me the ideal bodyguard.”

A property? What kind of quirk might you posses that makes you so valuable?

Hearing this, he stopped in his tracks, standing still like a statue after getting a strand of hair out of your face. The brightest eyes, (your eyecolour) irises stared at him in pure wonder. Even after all that he said until now, all the God of Lies could feel was pure, genuine concern.

And oh, how he yearned for this. From this moment on, his decision was set in stone: He'll keep you near, make you his pet and pastime - at least his pride didn't allow him to think otherwise. Even though his real intentions were something the reserved, warily man didn’t understand himself.

Loki shook his head when he realized just for how long he stared into your eyes, with his mouth wide open. He felt like he's been caught being weak, and like he always did when he felt insecure, he found the only way to compensate for this was for him to humiliate you.

“I ask once again: What are you? "

You managed to keep a straight face. Finally, you were allowed to share youur secret with someone:

"I am the Keeper of Fire, my lord."

Impossible. A simple, weak girl like you, possesing one of Asgards greatest attributes?

But he could tell you were telling the truth.

"I wonder what else my father tries to lock away from the world...through hiding and lies he reigns. That's the only way me and my father are similar."

Suddenly, he grabbed both of your wrists, almost as if to crush them, his emerald eyes piercing into the core of your being, trying to somehow comprehend what great power was now under his control.

When he saw your shocked look, he let go off of you.

“For a trained combatant, you’re very easy to rattle” he frowned, seeing that you took a step back. “But from now on, I’ll be your teacher - not those moronic warriors who are wasting your potential. You’ll take every single word from my lips as command.”

He stepped closer again, whispering right into your ear “You’re wax in my hand, little dove. And I’ll form the ideal warrior.” It was like your power was making him feel invincible, too. “Did I express myself properly?”

“As you wish, my Lord.”

“Oh” he smirked evily, “I prefer the term ‘master’ from now on.”

“All right” you finally smirked back, making his heart jump a little, “Everything you say, my master.”

___

When he finally got back to his senses, Loki almost felt like he could actually feel your soft hands like back then, when he escorted (more like dragged) you back to the palace, where you’d live officially from now on.

It was ridiculous when he thinks about it: The man who didn't trust anyone instantly believing a girl he's never seen before, and just came out of nothing with a wild story about being a chosen one.

Yet he did, and it felt so easy, so naturally to trust you.

Reality fell onto him like a crushing punch from the Hulk when he remembered ‘the rules’. They were engraved into his heart like scars.

Many people thought that the ‘Keeper of Fire’ was just a tale. No one knew what details were true and which part of stories and ballads, yet it seemed like it had just been another one of his fathers well kept secrets.

On your way home from that hill - the beginning of your shared way - he persuaded you to tell him everything about this incredible power:

1. There can only be one Keeper of Fire at a time. When the choosen one dies one and for all, a randomly selected child will inherit this attribute. There is no way to affect who is chosen next.

2. The Keeper of Fire is blessed with the Power of the Phoenix - technically, he can never die. Every time he does, he’ll be reborn randomly as a creature of the Nine Realms.Their appearance stays basically the same, expect for the characteristics of the respective race.

“So you can turn out to be something else than an Asgardian, right?”

“Yeah, the moment I take my last breath, my soul will be transferred to a child that’s about to be born in this very moment. It's coincidence, really."

“Have you already experienced this?” Everything about you was so exciting, so different from this whole, boring life that Loki could only harldy hide his excitement.

“It is wonderful, actually. You see so many different points of view, ways of living... It's truly a privilege.” Remembering your past lives, you began to smile so bright that Loki thought he might faint. So that's why you were so calm, understanding and thankful. Did he even deserve to walk aside such a pure creature? “My whole existence, your father would always manage to find me. It’s not that hard to find the Phoenix’ Flame, if you know how. So I’ve spent all my lives earning experience on the battlefield, dying very young.”

Much to your surprise, the prince looked very sad upon hearing this - little did you know it was because he felt like he should blame himself. You were trained to become his bodyguard, after all. And it had surely not been easy on you.

Not that he would ever voice those feelings, nor admit that it would affect him this much. Maintaining his distance to people he might open up to was his main commandment.

3. Your new body will age very fast, up to your “blossom time”. Around that time, you’ll stop aging at all, making it impossible for you to die. None of your fellow beings will ever be aware of this fact, and neither are you. So everyone around you behaves as it was completely normal.

4. After having been reborn, you'l have no memory of your past lives, until something very important from reminds you of them.

Chuckling, you tried to lighten up the mood as you added “I lived 2 lives as an Asgardian, one in Alfheim and...one in Nidavellir.”

Loki laughed, loudly and heartily, and you almost forgot that this man was known only for making everyone’s life miserable. Right now, it felt like the two of you knew each other forever - that’s how freely and satisfyingly you could talk.

“So that’s why you’re so small” he joked, wiping a tear of joy from the corner of his eye. "You were a dwarf, hilarious!"

"Hey!" you responded, "Maybe you're just too tall! You're almost as big as one of the Jotuns!"

His face darkened again when he thought of all the comrades he lost in battle against them. "This is no matter for jokes. Do not compare me to those vile beasts."

By the gods, this guy really has mood swings, but you guessed you should prepare to get used to that.

Actually, you wanted to say something about the Jotuns - yet you thought it'd be better if not all secrets were to be lifted from the very beginning. A feeling told you it would be better if you kept your mouth shut about this topic - at least for now.

"One last question..." Lokis own voice was echoing in his head, "If there can only be one of you at a time, but you cannot perish... How can there ever be an end to your immortality? How do you pass it on?"

His silent tears turned into loud sobbing as he slammed his fists onto the ground, until his knuckles began to bleed.

His heart felt like it was bursting under the pressure of him once again realizing the reason of you not coming back to live like you always did.

There was no hope, he now understood.

It was him, he knew that much. Everything he's done to you made this cruel, final rule work:

"That's easy. I will only reincarnate if I have the will to live on."

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zoslittlefish2 · 4 years

Text

Killers and Deep Closets

Ch 9: Waiting

This is my first fic, and it's based on the World created within my favorite Sanders Sides ask blogs, @ask-creativitwins , @ask-the-left-brains, @ask-the-sanders-dads , and @ask-remy-and-picani. Fish is Deciet and Remus's child (kindof-).

WARNING: Slight Death Mention

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Dee was pacing the living room and had been for hours despite Patton telling him to sit down. When they got to the mindscape, Logan had forced everyone out of the room. Remus had to be literally dragged out of the room, screaming that he needed to stay. Now Roman was holding Remus, partially in comfort but mostly to keep him from running into the room. It had been hours, and Logan hadn't left the room yet. When they heard a door open and footsteps walking down the hall. Everyone stood, and Remus rushed to stand next to Deceit, who had frozen in his spot.

Logan turned the corner and looked around the room, an unreadable expression on his face.

"Well?" Roman asked, causing Logan to sigh. He adjusted his glasses, and Remus couldn't help but notice the amount of blood covering him, stomach starting to sink.

"Well, i did what i could, and i have good news.... and i have some bad news..." Logan said carefully. Dee felt like he couldn't breathe, as Remus spoke from next to him.

"What's the good news?" he asked, voice cracking. He missed the look that Patton gave him as he stared Logan down.

"Well, the good news is that they should be able to recover. Some things might be difficult, especially when it comes to their mental health, but they should be alright." Remus let go of the breath he didn't know he was holding. Dee, on the other hand, seemed to get more concerned.

"i do like how your emphasizing should there, Logan... What's the bad news?" This question caused Logan's shoulders to sag, and he lowered his head, staring at the floor. Patton walked over as he began to speak.

"... They are still unconscious and haven't shown any signs of waking up... I cannot determine when or..." he took a deep breath, "If they will wake up."

Deceit felt like the world had stopped turning. 'Even after all of that... We could still lose them? We got them from that witch, they're here in the mindscape, and there's STILL a chance that all of that was in vain?' he was pulled out of his thoughts as Remus squeezed his hand, and he looked up to see the tears in his boyfriend's eyes.

"Come on, Logan said we could go see them..." he said quietly, and lead Dee down the hall. They stopped in front of the door, and Deceit tried to prepare himself for what he was going to see. Not that it was of any use, nothing could have prepared him for this.

The bed had been moved so that a person could be on either side of it, and a chair had been moved closer to the bed. Fish was laying there, almost completely covered in bandages, and pale. They seemed ghostlike, and Dee could feel his knees giving out underneath him as Remus carefully lead him to the chair that was already next to them. Remus pulled a chair to the other side of the bed and sat down as well.

They each carefully took a hand, and it took everything in Deceit not to break down right then and there. He reached a hand up and gently ran it through their hair while Remus gently kissed the back of their hand, eyes shut as he held back tears. Neither of them was aware enough to notice Roman standing in the doorway, who was unable to stop the tears from leaving his eyes.

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This is how they spent their time for the next week, with the exception of Logan forcing them out to eat while he checked on Fish. The two talked to them sometimes, but most of the time, they sat in silence. Sometimes Logan let Roman come in and sit with them before allowing the other two in, knowing that he didn't get the chance to really be with them while Dee and Remus were in there. When Roman sat with Fish, he told them about what the others had done that day, about the silly antics of the mods, and about how much they all miss them. He never leaves without placing a kiss on their forehead, promising that everything would be alright. During this Virgil is often taking Roman's usual place in the doorway, and comforting his boyfriend when he inevitably breaks down in the hallway.

One week became two, and Fish still had shown no signs of waking up. Logan was trying everything he could think of, starting to become a little desperate. He would never tell the others, but he had been crying alone in his room more often then he thought possible. He just didn't know what else he could do to help, and nothing seemed to be getting better. It was during one of his breakdowns that Patton happened to walk into his room to tell him something. Whatever it was that he was going to say, it was immediately lost when he saw Logan. Patton carefully walked forward, slowly wrapping him in a hug, which Logan was grateful for.

It wasn't until halfway through the third week that something changed. It was one of those moments that Logan had let Roman into the room to sit with Fish. Virgil was busy, so unlike other times, Logan stayed in the room, standing in the corner and letting Roman talk to them. Roman was holding their hand, telling them how much they're missed.

"... Your parents haven't been the same for the past two weeks. I know Remus hasn't slept much if at all, and I doubt that Dee has either. I wish that I knew how to convince them that the world isn't going to fall apart, but it's hard to convince someone something when you don't believe it yourself...." this made Logan frown, before Roman continued, "....god, I miss you, little Nemo... I miss watching you skip into the room; I miss having you ask me questions about everything I'm doing, wanting to see what I'm drawing, and the pouty face you make when I don't tell you everything right away. I-I haven't been able to finish any drawings or ideas because I just end up waiting for you to show up to ask me about it, or to ask if I have time to do something with you. I always do, you know. I always have time for you... please... wake up soon... I don't know how much longer I- we can do this..." Romans's voice cracked at the end as tears fall down his face. If he had turned around, he would have seen the tears that had formed in Logan's eyes as well.

That's when he felt the little squeeze of his hand that made him freeze, looking at their face, which remained unmoving.

"Fish?..." He said quietly. Logan, curious, stepped toward them.

"Fish?... can you hear me?..." Logan's brow furrowed as he caught a shift in their face. Roman felt them squeeze his hand again, and he let out a watery laugh.

Logan started forward and placed a hand on Roman's shoulder. They both looked at Fish with bated breath, and Roman gasped as Fish's eyes fluttered halfway open, but they weren't entirely there.

"Fish?" Logan said quietly, and their eyes wandered over to him for a moment. Then they looked at Roman, who had tears streaming silently down his face. Their mouth twitched in an attempt at a smile, squeezing his hand again. Their eyes fluttered closed again, hand feeling limp in Romans. Roman tears of joy turned to fear.

"Fish?... Fish!" The hand on his shoulder tightened enough to get his attention, and he looked up at Logan, who was smiling. Roman was confused until he spoke.

"Roman, they're alright. This is an improvement, and their chances of waking up again are much greater than before. They are going to be fine."

Roman searches his face for any sign of doubt and found none. The tears fell harder as he half laughed and half sobbed, Logan pulling him into a hug as tears fell from his own eyes, falling onto Roman's shoulder.

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It was two days before anything happened again. Remus was a little upset that he hadn't been there when Fish opened their eyes, but he couldn't blame Roman and Logan for that. It was early in the morning, not that Remus cared, and Dee was asleep. Remus was just staring at Fish, watching how the light and shadows moved around their face. He saw a slight shift in their face, as well as felt a small movement from their hand. Remus quickly and carefully reached over and tapped Dee, who sat up instantly, dazed for a moment.

"Mouse? What wrong?" Remus shook his head and looked at their kid.

"Fish?" He said, and Dee turned his head in time to see Fish's brow furrow in response, and both of the sides felt them tighten their hands a bit. Remus let out a quiet laugh, and Deceit lit up.

"Water snake? Can you hear us?" He said, hope obvious in his words. He felt a squeeze in his hand, and gasped

Fish's eyes fluttered open.

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Alright y'all there's that. Love y'all!

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