#which i've technically done before but also i could very easily fuck it up because i am just one me

[iraprince]

Hi Ira! If I remember right, you mentioned that you bought an arm mount for your tablet for use at your desk. Do you have any recommendations? I'm trying to get a "dream office" list together and honestly my neck would appreciate a break from all the shrimping I do while I draw. Have a lovely day! 💜

i can definitely recommend the one i use, because i love it and have had no problems with it, but as a heads up i've never used any other arm mounts before so i can't give any accurate insight on whether it's better/worse than others!

that being said, i'm using a gas spring mount, and especially if you have or intend to get a large/heavy screen tablet, i really recommend it. the way the gas spring arm works is basically when setting it up you can adjust the amount of like, pneumatic force/resistance offered by the central support of the arm to be exactly matched to the weight of the tablet monitor (this sounds technical but is really easy, u just follow the instructions in the setup manual), and then basically the tablet will just Stay wherever you move it -- barely requires u to apply any force at all, and no fiddling with loosening and tightening a bunch of knobs whenever you want to make an adjustment, which has been the experience i've had with cheaper arm mounts for stuff like microphones etc!!! i'm sure there are non-gas-spring mounts that are somewhat easily adjustable, but my experience with the gas spring one so far has been that it's SO easy that i don't even have to think about it. i move mine a lot so i can sit different ways, angle the tablet surface based on the level of detail i'm working at, etc and it's also really nice to be able to just swing it completely out of the way and tuck the tablet away to the side when i'm done drawing digitally and want to free up my desk; if the arm was sticky or rigid or required Any extra steps to readjust stuff i think i would get annoyed really fast.

(if my office was not such a fucking disaster rn i would take some pics so you could see how i have it set up and some of the ways i can move it around. unfortunately it is a fucking disaster. maybe i'll get a chance sometime and i'll loop back to this!!)

it also feels really sturdy, there's an extremely tiny bit of wobble when i'm drawing bc i have a tendency to push really hard sometimes and that made me a little nervous on the first day but i don't even notice it now (and the wobble seems to just be from general/necessary flex in the arm overall, not a certain joint or component of the clamp being loose or lacking integrity). i would definitely recommend looking at reviews and carefully picking something solid; u will make urself miserable if you're not confident that your arm can Hold your very expensive and precious tablet, or if the clamp is wobbling on your desk or whatever. also, MEASURE THE SIDE OF YOUR DESK and try to find dimension info to make sure the clamp on whatever arm you're getting will actually fit!! i have a weird desk that has a kind of thick inset bit on the underside/edges, and a lot of standard clamps do not fit over it; i was lucky enough that the one that came with my tablet was adjustable enough to fit, but it would really suck to order an arm and then find out it's incompatible with your desk.

i can't seem to find a listing for the exact mount i use -- sticker on the side says huanuo. i got it bundled with my huion when i bought it, so here's just a link to a similar bundle; it looks a little different than the one i got, but this amazon listing for a gas spring mount from the same brand looks the same, so i think i just got a version that doesn't have the cable management loops on the bottom.

ANYWAY that's about all i can think to say -- like i said, this is the only arm mount i've ever used, so if anyone else wants to chime in with info or experiences abt other varieties that would be great!! i hope this is helpful, gl getting your dream office together :D

#how do my answers always get so long lmao. how is it u guys ask me the simplest stuff and im inevitably like Here's My 5 Paragraph Essay

[tiglo]

Deathloop Slab only: Day 2 (technically 3)

So uh, I didn't write down what I did in game yesterday, and I was high as fuck so I hardly remember what I did either, so you'll just get the cliff notes

-I got the Flicker upgrade for Aether

-I got every base slab that I didn't already have

-I all but finished Space invader

-I finished Devouring of the Lambs and Lost in Transmission

-I got the unique sniper

Day 3

I wanted to finish Radio Silence as soon as possible today mainly for plot reasons but also because I wanted the purple quality PT spiker that tags enemies, the last of the horizon stations I need to do is the one in Karl's bay so I have to spend the morning in The Complex (I didn't try the wake up challenge again).

This trip to the complex was very eventful but I don't have the patience to give you a minute by minute transcript so basically I'd fuck up and fail stealth, successfully sneak away, then fuck up again for like 20 minutes. Anyway I only sent power to Karl's Bay since I don't think it does anything but unlock the Horizon doors.

I wanted to go to Karl's bay next but you can't go at noon for some reason, so instead I went to Fristad Rock to kill Fia again, she spotted me when I opened the door to her... round room thing. Which really showed me how useful that gun is going to be in this challenge. And I got Withdrawal which gives me power every time I get a kill while Havoc is active, it can basically make me immortal for an indefinite amount of time.

But in the afternoon I actually have three things to do Karl's Bay, first I collect the Earworm upgrade for Fugue which isn't really that good, then I find frank's fireworks to properly start The Ballad of Ramblin' Frank. Finally I go to the Horizon station and have a conversation with a past, present or future version of myself (the lore is weird, I might do a video/long tumblr post about it). I also collect the password and the tagging nail gun

I spend the Evening in Updaam, first going to the RAK and learning I need to kill every visionary but Julianna in order to get to Julianna to kill her by having another conversation with another version of myself (again, the lore and story is weird), finally completing Radio Silence. I then go to Otto's workshop to find it burned down, oh no if only I could have done something to prevent this tragedy from happening. Then I finally go to Aleksis' party to kill him again. tip for finding Aleksis: he is the only person at the party with two exemplar Limp 10s which are easily noticeable since they're orange. I turn off the chocolate tap to draw him into the cellar where I murder him and collect Zone which is a decent upgrade for Karnesis. Julianna invaded somehow even though I turned off invasions.

The next morning I go to Updaam again because I remembered that this game is about a time loop so I could just stop the fire before it happens, so I do that and comeback to Updaam again at noon to get the password for Franks fireworks and I collet Reach from Charlie by crashing his Among Us larp party. I go Karl's Bay, thankfully collect Discord from the collector and stealth kill him for the first time in my time playing this game, and sabotage Frank's fireworks to finish The Ballad of Ramblin' Frank. I go to The Complex in the evening and collect Ghost which is good for normal stealth gameplay but because of my current playstyle it isn't all that good. this was probably the shortest day I've played in deathloop, that might just be because I actually planned the whole loop that time

Thought's on Flicker:

I never used Flicker much in regular gameplay but it is actually very useful since it's like havoc but no one knows where you are, so outside of one situation it's better in general.

#deathloop

[bondsmagii]

I wanna hear you bitch about the Prestige. It's one of my favorite movies but I've never read the book.

I have never seen the movie but I've heard good things about it (and even heard that people are surprised by the book after seeing how good the movie was) so I'm very interested to see it. the reason the book pisses me off so much is because it could have been so good! there were actually parts of it that I really enjoyed, and I get even more pissed off when there are good parts of a bad book. to me it's proof the author could have written something amazing, but bad decisions/writing/pacing ruined it, and that's what happened for me with The Prestige.

one of the major things that pisses me off in books is when the author thinks their reader is stupid. I've gone off about this before (mainly in regards to In the Woods by Tana French, do NOT get me started) but I will go off about it again: it sends me absolutely insane with rage. when an author thinks their plot is much more intelligent than it actually is... oh man. it's just insulting to have a straightforward plot (or even a more complex plot that can be understood easily with basic reading comprehension skills) and then to have the author over-explaining, and reiterating, and making sure you're still following. The Prestige did this so much -- which is extra funny, because I worked out how the trick was done literally a third of the way into the novel. now, I'm an easy reader in this respect. if I work it out early, it doesn't ruin the book for me. a lot of people would be annoyed or feel robbed of a proper twist or mystery, but I actually like the process seeing if I was right, and how the author constructs it technically. I like that shit! so this would not have been a dealbreaker for me if not for the fact that the author thought he was so fucking clever. there was so much exposition and going over the facts again and again that I was bored. I even remember thinking christ, man, it's really not that fucking complicated. can we move on.

there were also some parts of the book that were just so fucking boring even without the exposition shit. some of the story was told via an in-universe manual explaining how magic tricks are done, and it was written as a straight-up manual. like, an instruction manual. now, there's a reason why most people do not real instruction manuals for fun: they're pretty fucking dull. I just could not understand what possessed the author to make his readers sit there and read a fucking instruction manual. it wasn't even necessary for the plot! it was like the author just wanted to show off how he was smart and knew how the tricks worked. or maybe he fell out with a magician and wanted to expose his tricks in a deniable way. I do not know. I could maybe respect that, at least. but fucking hell, it was dull.

in another part of the book, there's a scene that's repeated from the point of view of two characters. it's the same scene, but one character reveals more about the scene that's important to the plot and meant to be a dramatic twist. this is fine, this is an established method, it's cool when it's done properly. this was not done properly. it was the same scene, damn near word-for-word, apart from maybe one small paragraph's worth of difference. why did I have to read that? why did I have to read the exact same scene twice? I don't know! I'm yelling!

finally, there were some super emotional scenes that were just so flat lmao. like, the whole concept of it -- that there are barely-living doubles of you, that they were essentially robbed of their humanity and identity and then abandoned, that you are not who you thought you are, and even if you're you, you're a copy of a copy of a copy -- is sad. it's like discovering you had an identical twin who died in the womb, or shortly after birth. yeah, you never knew one another, and the things you're grieving never happened because they were never there, but is that not its own kind of grief? what could have been, but never was? a part of you, genetically identical (and in this case, psychologically identical, too) gone? who might you have been if not for that interruption to your identity? these are all fascinating questions, and it could have been absolutely heartbreaking. but the novel kind of wrapped up like "is that fucked up or WHAT" and then ended. it was never explored. I was just kind of like. ok. rip to that guy I guess.

in conclusion this is why it sucked but most of all it sucked because the author kept sitting me down and explaining in detail a plot "twist" he clearly thought was very intelligent but was actually very fucking simple. and I hate that. it makes me want to kill. and I will never forgive any author who does this. I'm physically incapable.

#anon #asks

[edaworks]

Reynard the Fox's holding cell has me curious. I'd love to hear about it c:

Sure! Thanks @dovesofcedar for the ask/sorry for the textwall response :P

Throughout the first arc (feels weird to say that) of my WIP, I reference a specific collection of poems/New England literature as a plot device. Reynard the Fox, a wily character common to a bunch of European fables, comes up in the poem "tied" to this chapter.

This is also the only chapter sitting in a standalone document. Why? Well...the document in my WIP folder named "text" is my main draft file, and it used to be absurdly long. I've never done this before; legal writing is a constant for me but it requires other skills (persuasive/technical writing) and needs to hold attention in a very different way. One if by Land, on the other hand, started as a stress-delirium-induced near-accident spun off of a oneshot I wrote at the end of April. There was an element of "if I keep it casual I won't intimidate myself with what I'm working on and freeze up," so I just kept chucking everything into one disaster file. It eventually contained:

about 2/3 of the first arc (70Kish words)

planning for parts of Arc 2

cut material

some drafting for Arc 2 (a couple tens of thousands more words)

all my non-spreadsheet research and notes (we won't even go there)

Inevitably, it reached a length able to crash and stall out Google Docs. @twosides--samecoin and I were talking about this and she gently pointed out that I could choose to not keep it all in one place don't mind me I'm a dumb bird and offered some good advice on process/how to handle it, so now there is some Organization™ instead of one long file and scattered Excel spreadsheets (the spreadsheets have been consolidated into one sheet with different tabs, and mainly consist of "how do I make X thing work in the Falloutverse" research).

The portion of Act I that I'm actively picking at - this chapter, Reynard the Fox - has been pulled out of my draft file to its own document where the file size is manageable, and where I can more easily compare it to the extant draft. It's about 9.5K words at the moment. It's a "holding cell" because I'm full of bad jokes: a temporary home for something that needs to be processed before it can be bonded out and released into the wild on monitoring. hur hur criminal defense jokes

EDIT: whoop forgot this part of the game, here's a snip. This particular character's viewpoint is very stream-of-consciousness and is one of a couple that I write first-person-present with a lot of run-on sentences.

He releases the wall. Something comes away under his right fingers, like dust scales from moth wings. Chalk powder. He looks back at the wall and finds what he’s looking for, smudged, but visible: a small starburst of lines around a central point. Six lines, not eight. In the center, an X. Railsign. Danger.

A familiar, hated, forced calmness is spreading through his limbs like anesthesia. The world slows down. Every deafening noise, every sluggish trickle of air, every scent, every object; they get cataloged in his mind as it all-unwillingly constructs a three-dimensional map of the space around him, forcing him into an almost out-of-body sense of heightened perception. He turns through suspended animation, dipping to catch the bat’s handle in his right fingers and gracefully swinging it across his shoulders; stepping with purpose back towards his own house. His mind screams that he's slow as molasses, but he's quick, quite quick for a world which has all but ground, shuddering, to a halt.

Fuck.

#wip tag #tag games #ask tag #oneifbyland

[om-gay]

I'd like to thank capitalism for all of this

and not to forget the two people who fucked me over to make it happen

When I started writing this post, I really had no idea where it was going, it turned out to be a cathartic unload of my situation. A lot of things are vague intentionally and I could easily rock that boat by pulling up receipts, but I'd rather not go back to that situation unless I have to. Read at your own peril.

I've not really written about the not-so-recent events that have given me a great amount of time to sit on my sofa calculating how long I can stretch 125g of rice for, since I don't really have the energy and I guess I'm spiralling down a hole of taking the opinions of people who I should not be giving free rent in my head to as truth.

Without going in to full details, I basically had a job I loved and the keyword here was had until I was lucky enough to get a manager who made every effort to make that worse. It wasn't just their inability to manage that was the problem, it was the fact that they did everything they possibly could to deflect their poor decisions on to everybody else and using manipulative methods like trying to convince you to agree to the stupid decision, so when it goes south, you're the one taking the blame.

Eventually we got to a point where I wasn't playing that game, so instead of being a capable manager they just ignored me and that was fine. I could do what I needed, be left out of everything, and not really any feedback in either direction. A true coward's way out.

I was then given another manager, who I had worked with before, had a good opinion of them and really did not expect the bullshit they'd pull on me a few months later.

I had been aware for sometime that the first manager wanted to push me out of the door, and it isn't the first time they had done that either. So when I was selected for a promotion I knew exactly what it was, a setup.

Because these two people weren't even remotely smart enough to setup what I was being asked to do, I knew once I had put everything in to a position that they could push me out and reap the rewards.

It is also worth mentioning that this new manager gave absolutely zero support or feedback either and when they pulled their hilariously poor constructive dismissal bullshit last year it was something I had already expected.

It started off with them interfering with my teams, telling them to do the opposite of my instructions which in the end started to burn me out from having to invest a lot of time cleaning up their mess. Then started the ambush meetings, where I'd be pulled in to a meeting with my team members giving me negative feedback (with this manager in the middle of this) that I was never aware of. Instead of letting them having the discussion with me directly, this person made them hold this for their ambush event.

Yet another mess to clear up for me, and I did very well considering.

This manager then decided to drop something almost too stupid I'm surprised the company humoured it, they pulled me in to a Friday afternoon no notice meeting and I was told at this point my job had already been given to the person I had just hired.

They had basically just sanctioned me without any kind of process or even any kind of feedback prior to this dumping of negative feedback without any follow up. Cool.

To say I was furious, was an understatement. While I did see some bullshit coming at me, I didn't see the level of absolute stupidity it could be in. I put down that little attempt quite swiftly, because it wasn't hard, its the kind of easy case an employment lawyer loves - receipts, the company taking the piss, and in front of a tribunal a hands down employer loses.

Even though it was a technical win, it wasn't, they had broken the trust between me and the company and at that point I had only one way to go - out of the door.

A month later I get an email trying to restart this action, but again, it was all nonsense. Trying to beat me with things I had come to them to raise the flag with solutions they refused without any reason, creating impossible targets, decisions they had changed at the last second after months of my work to make sure we were all on board, made up quotes from colleagues, and trying to apply rules they never followed or even had at minimum mentioned exists (this is a startup so it lacks a lot of processes and rules).

So I had to investigate each point, pull the receipts, and formulate a response. It took me a month to actually do that and it was a 10 page email after I cut responses to individual minor points. They were literally the most unserious clowns I had ever worked with and they really thought I was that stupid.

I had two options after that, sue the shit out of them, or take a rupture conventionelle. Because I really don't want to have to spend the next decade dealing with these clowns (if they manage to last that long) I went for the latter. The contract was done at the end of October and I was unexpectedly unemployed having to use the pay out to try and pay out big expenses as well as my rent before I joined the chômage. By the time I received my full payment from the chômage the payout was gone, mostly on rent.

Speaking of rent, what was before 1/3 of my salary is now 80% of my reduced income and covering the bills is a game of how late I can pay things or can I live on half a meal a day.

All of this because two clowns who have no self awareness of competence to behave like adults. They stole my job from me and took no serious thought of the negative effects their actions have to a person's life, especially in the middle of an economic crisis.

I should be fucking livid about this, but actually, I'm not. Sure my life is really fucking bad right now, my mental state is hit hard because unlike them I have spent months asking myself if I am capable of doing X job as well as being in a really dark place if I'm good enough. I have also met people at some of the courses I've been doing who are also in the same situation, but in their case they tend to be too close to retirement to get a bite and too far from retirement to be able to get out of it.

Back on the point - why I'm not angry - I, of course, get to hear what is happening at the old place and it really is as you'd expect when your capable employees flood out the door, poorly run, going from one disaster to another, and just a total shit show that I'm truly happy that I'm not in the middle of any more.

I might be taking the brunt of Macron's vicious changes to the support system we all pay for to get when we need it but at least I'm not an idiot who has to pay a consultant to do their job.

#capitalism #funemployment #job seeking sux #awful managers #terrible employers #ramblings #need to touch that grass

[dredshirtroberts]

i have a lot of hangups that surround my hair and how it looks. i kind of want to grow it out a bit again but at its current length i’ve gotten a lot of compliments from my family about how good it looks and i’m also afraid that growing it out will make me look less masculine and thus people will misgender me more than they already do but at the same time i desperately want to wear it in a ponytail again

#anyway i'm debating whether or not i clean up my undercut #like i probably would barely touch the top hair i just don't know if i want to go to the trouble of buzzing the undercut #and potentially messing up the Vibe i've got right now #but also it's in that awkward Too Long but also Not Long Enough stage where it just looks lazy and messy #and i'm trying to decide if i want to try and do anything about it #my other option is attempting to like...do a style? with the razor? #something more than just 'buzzed to a one everywhere but the top' #which i've technically done before but also i could very easily fuck it up because i am just one me #and i cannot see behind my head #so like...do i go for the easiest option of Don't Fucking Touch It #the second easiest option of Just Buzz The Short Bits Down and Rock the look #or the third potentially most disastrous option of Try And Do Something Fancy #i guess if Fancy goes wrong i can default back to Buzz It All Down #the other problem with wanting to do this is that my arm is sore from vaccination and i don't know if i wanna have my arms above #my head for that long lol

[aotopmha]

Attack on Titan Series Thoughts

I've been mulling over Attack on Titan's ending and how I'd rate the whole story from all kinds of angles and I've reached the conclusion that above all else, the ending is really fucking annoying.

A great or a terrible ending would help me make my mind up much more easily.

If it's great, it's great. If it's terrible it's a good story with a terrible ending.

But instead, it is a mixed bag: there are things about it I like a lot and things about it I don't like.

It is a very common belief that the ending is paramount to a story's quality, but I've found that this is not really true for me. My favourite anime ever pretty much doesn't even have a proper ending. My needs for an ending basically encompass some sort of sense of closure and that's about it.

Especially longer-running series often either make the journey worth it just by being as long as they are (so a pretty generic ending is okay) or fall off in quality long before they are done. But AoT is neither of these for me.

AoT in this sense is complicated for me because I can't decide whether the ending impacted the quality of the story or not depending on which aspect of the ending I focus on.

Some details make it immensely satisfying to me and some details sour it a little bit.

I think right now the good and bad things balance out so in general nothing changes about how I view the story overall.

In basics, I really like the emotional core of Attack on Titan, but I've always found it flawed on the technical level.

I'd give the story a 10 just for how much it emotionally engaged me and made me care. This story is the reason why I started this blog and I became active talking about media in the first place.

For a time I was losing the sense of fun of being a fan: people just became really hostile when discussing stuff.

But this past week or so has been incredible in my inbox, reminding me of the highs of being a fan, with so many wonderful messages.

Other stories have made me more angry, made me cry more or laugh more, but AoT made me feel the biggest spectrum of feelings.

No other story has made me do this, at most I only became a member of various forums as a random member; I didn't create a blog with the aim to talk about one.

From a technical level, I would give it a 6-7 depending on the section of the story.

The foreshadowing for various twists is pretty loose from start to finish, there is a bunch of redundant scenes all over the story and the pacing can be really uneven. It is not nearly as *well-crafted* of a story in my eyes as I see people praise it to be.

The art is a pretty huge mess at points, too.

I think sometimes the fact that this is the author's very first actual long-running story very much shines through. I think only a beginner would dare to employ historical imagery as bluntly as Isayama did, too, for example.

But to me the emotional core is magical.

The average of these two aspects, emotional and technical, would be around 8-8.5.

But at the same time, when I finished that last chapter I felt like I couldn't rate it and this has rarely happened to me.

I've kind of slowly distanced myself from number ratings in general because consuming media is a very emotional and personal thing and exploring it via positives and negatives feels much more apt.

From that perspective, I think the story is incredibly emotionally intelligent and understands humanity really well.

Stemming from that in turn, I think themes are the strongest aspect of the story next to characters. While I think the story faltered in a some instances when it came to characters, I think the themes mostly stood tall all the way through.

I think it ended up giving answers to and looping back to ideas it started with: seeing the good in the cruel world, facing humanity's unending desire for conflict and need to survive, living without regrets, learning to see the world in more complex shades of gray rather than black and whites and learning to do the right thing when needed.

As a mystery box, it does answer pretty much all of the big mysteries of the story and I think I don't really take issue with any of the big answers except maybe one very specific one. The numerous twists throughout the story range from absolutely genius to fairly typical. Again, the foreshadowing gets a lot of praise when it comes to this story, but I think a lot of the story actually isn't planned. Isayama just uses some details in clever ways to make it seem like it was planned.

I think that is a skill in itself that never gets nearly enough credit, but in the end, I think that is the weakest part of the story along with the world itself.

I like the walls themselves and I really like some of the Titan designs, but other than that I never had much interest in the world of AoT on its own. It always has to be connected to characters or themes for me to care. The crystal cave, time sand dunes and certain Titan skeleton are the most interesting settings in the story for me in that sense.

I think it does also fall in the pit of some pretty frustrating dark fantasy tropes, most specifically with a certain blonde female character who had one of the best character arcs in the story that was kind of just thrown under the bus.

It can't quite escape the pitfalls of that genre and it just so happens to be my favourite genre of story, so I constantly see excessive shock value rape, forced pregnancy and gay erasure happen in stories that I think are great otherwise. It's frustrating.

I hoped AoT would be better than that because for so long it was, but it didn't end up being as such.

But at the same time, I think most of its female cast still ended up being pretty great and did some pretty fun archetype-defying stuff. It's a pretty strange dichotomy. It is actually much better than most dark fantasy, but not quite there yet.

This is actually true for the male cast, too, I think. It does some fun playing around with all of the character archetypes.

The story's action scenes are thrilling and some of the action setpieces are really memorable. The final arc really shines in that sense to me. As a horror spectacle it is especially excellent.

Despite sometimes coming across as narmy/unintentionally funny, it still somehow manages to make the Titans a credible threat and this is true throughout the entire story, for different, evolving reasons.

I think the Titans have become iconic for a reason and never lost the luster throughout any of the story.

Along with that, my final point is that it is one of the few stories that sets up a kill 'em all setting that actually kills major characters with substantial focus and commits to it. It also doesn't kill too many characters where no character ever gets to actually develop.

So, considering all of what I listed above, what would my general thoughts be?

I think it still is a story worth checking out.

Personally I obviously love the story as a whole.

But I think any fan of dark fantasy/sci-fi could get a bunch of entertainment out of it: above all I think it is an extremely digestable series.

It's sometimes a very dense read, but I never felt it was a "hard" read. It's a very dark story with a lot of horrible things happening, but I never felt it was difficult to get through even in its darkest of moments.

My favourite characters ended up being Gabi, Reiner, Eren, Pieck, Armin and Annie. Zeke and Hange get a shoutout, too.

My favourite chapters ended up being 71, 82, 100, 122, 131 and 137.

Who are you guys' favourite characters and what are your favourite chapters and why?

Send me an ask explaining why for fun! (Or ask me for my reasonings?)

#Attack on Titan #Shingeki no Kyojin #AoT 139 #SnK 139 #AoT manga #SnK manga #AoT #SnK #Eren #Mikasa #Armin #Levi #Eren Jaeger #Eren Yeager #Mikasa Ackermann #Armin Arlert #Levi Ackermann #Reiner Braun #Reiner #Annie #Annie Leonhardt #Colossal Titan #Bertholt Hoover #Bertholdt Hoover #Hange #Hange Zoe

[gender-says-no]

Okay, so I'm just going to talk about some stuff about gender fluidity and the new Loki series. Be warned, I will be mentioning a negative view/comment about Loki being genderfluid that was said to me, and personally it upset me. So please be cautious if things like that trigger you easily. Also, please don't take offence to anything I say, some of my views on this subject might be influenced by my environment, and idek if anyone agrees with me. Also, this has spoilers if you haven't seen all 4 episodes!!!

Okay, so the Loki series finally addresses Loki being genderfluid. Yay! As a genderfluid individual, I was very happy and excited about that, as well as them confirming his sexuality. However, I see some problems with how it was addressed. I'll be using he/him pronouns for Loki, and she/her for Sylvie, as they do in the show. This is all over the place, and I apologize if any part of this offends anyone.

So, we know that in the comics, as well as Norse mythology, Loki is a shapeshifter. He can and does turn into other things, being an animal of sort, a female, etc. But instead of showing Loki altering himself to appear female, we were given a whole new Loki, aka Sylvie. Now, in the MCU, we're aware that there is a multiverse, however, in Loki, it seems that the TVA are only focused on protecting a single timeline, which they call The Sacred Timeline. The problem here is that if it's a single timeline, why is Sylvie only ever shown as a girl? Even as a child. It could be because this Loki variant primarily feels like a woman, prefers being a woman, or is just a cis woman. To me, it seems like they wanted to show Loki's genderfluidity without actually showing it. They basically gave us a gender bent Loki. Loki is male, Sylvie is female. That's that. And with the fact that the multiverse exists, it seems like shes a variant from another universe, even though the TVA doesnt seem concerned about other universes.

When we were shown Sylvie being taken by the TVA when she was a little girl, she doesnt appear to be doing anything wrong. It kinda just looks like she's playing?? And with what I've seen about the TVA, as soon as a variant causes a branch in the timeline, a team is sent out to fix it right away. So what did she do that messed up the timeline? When I told my family that I wondered what she had done to be considered a variant at such a young age, my father said, "Probably because she was born a goddess instead of a god." Theoretically, this could be true. In the timeline that they're protecting, Loki is only ever seen as being male, so Sylvie being female could technically be the cause. However, why would they wait? If the timeline was messed up by Sylvie being a goddess, a branch would have formed immediately and the timeless would have dealt with that right away. So that can't be the problem. So, naturally, I had to defend Sylvie, because Loki is genderfluid, so a female Loki shouldn't ruin a timeline. This lead him to say that Loki isn't genderfluid. To quote, "He's only genderfluid in the way that Thor's genderfluid. And the way that Steve is. He's only a girl when the writers decided to make him one."

First of all, obviously??? Marvel isn't real life, everything that happens in either the MCU or the comics is because the writers decided to do that. That's how fictional characters work!!

Second, what the fuck? He had mentioned right before that a female Loki is reasonable since Thor is also becoming a woman. Which? What?? He explained that Thor's passing the hammer onto a woman, so Thor is becoming a woman now. Which is so wrong. Thor is his name, not the title held by whoever has his hammer. It's not even a superhero name like Iron man or Spiderman. It's the name he was given at birth?? Hes just passing on the hammer to a woman, he's still Thor. And when has Steve ever been a woman?? I dont remember hearing about that, but I think that he might be referring to gemderbends, where in another universe, some characters are the opposite gender. In this case, they're two different people. In Loki, theres only one timeline, which I assume contains multiple universes, so it can be seen as logical to assume that Syvlie is just a gender bent Loki from another universe. And who knows, maybe she is, we can't actually know for sure right now. Seeing the other Lokis basically proves that the way they present themselves doesn't matter, even if it's not directly said. We're given the old comic version, a kid, a black man, and an alligator, as well as many more who show up later. The main 6 Lokis that the series has shown us have told their nexus events, besides Sylvie, and given what they are and how old most Lokis are, it's very safe to assume that how they appear doesn't matter. So this confirms that there are multiple universes that the TVA watch over. Because of all this, I would say that it's safe to just go ahead and assume that Syvlie is in fact just a gender bent Loki, which doesn't actually do anything about Loki being genderfluid. However, Syvlie could of just been presenting as female at the time of her nexus event, and had just chosen to stay that way after the TVA took her life away from her. That's all I have to say, feel free to lmk your opinions or ideas. Also feel free to tag me in posts about this (for about whatever, idc) if you want

Thanks for reading. And I hope you have a great day!! 🧡🧡🧡🧡

#genderfluid #loki disney+ #loki #genderfluid loki #marvel #lgbtq #my stuff #i cant take credit for the last point #the one about sylvie just presenting as female and keeping it that way #that was my friends point #i just dont want to say it in there in case they find this #im hoping they dont read the tags lol #agate's analysis

[savrenim]

hi hi hi. so I just got into the Hamilton fandom, I swear I am four years late where did everybody go, and, well. I am apparently a hamburr shipper. bcs that is my life now. anyway I saw your fic ifmlam and I swear it is my favourite of all the fics I've ever read (and trust me I've read literally thousands). I love it so so much, how do you write fics like that??? I cried about four times during the whole thing, I stayed up till 4am reading it even when I had to wake up at 7 because it is just. that. good. I could not stop thinking about it for days afterwards and ifmlam has just ruined me. I can't think of listen to Hamilton without thinking of ifmlam anymore.

on to my qursttion: is it abandoned? of course it's perfectly FINE if it is. don't let anyone tell u differently, your fic is YOURS and u are amazing.

but pls I really need closure from ur fic, it has been haunting me if its abandoned or ongoing and I've read ur other fics and they are just chefskiss and thank you so much for writing them all. thank you thank you thank you, I will never be able to thank you enough for writing this fic and for everything it's done for me. I am probably thousands of miles away but I am sending you virtual jugs through a co.puter screen right now.

(don't feel pressured to reply to this or update it flam, I know how overwhelming it can get with so many messages and after a while u get desensitized to it. u can literally reply "thx. itfmlam is abandoned" and I would still be amazingly star struck. anyway has gotten way too long and I need to sleep and I'm sorry u probably won't see this so I'm just talking to myself right now but bye!!)

and thank you so so much for writing itfmlam.

aaaah hello anon!

thank you so so much???? I am so??? honored??? that ifmlam rates so highly to you, and also that you've read my other fics??????

the answer to the "is ifmlam abandoned" question is probably the worst possible one, which is pretty much "I do want to finish it, both for the folks that still want closure as well as it bothers to me have abandoned projects that are in the public eye/ already partially published, but also, it is last on my current writing projects list"

my current actually active writing projects list, kind of in order of priority, is

I'm literally three chapters away from being Actually Fully Done with the not-quite-first-not-quite-second let's call it 1.5th draft of an actual?? full?? original?? novel?? Opus which of course then goes out to beta readers and then gets who-knows-how-much edited and then maybe beta readers again if a lot does change and then a copyeditor my mom, my copyeditor is my mom, and maybe my little brother he's one of the betas but is very good at catching typos and then I!!! get to publish it!!!! which is the single thing I am most excited for!!!!!!!!! this should be closed up in the next week or two, and then take a while for people to actually read the draft and get back to me.

I really desperately want to finish my open-but-like-90%-written fic, which means we raise it up, the final chapter of to the bottom of the river bc I realized that it was kind of incomplete, and the second chapter of a buried and a burning flame because any more work there will need to wait until the author publishes the next book in the series. this should be closed up in the next month or two.

Speedwrite the draft of the second book of the Opus series so that hopefully by the time book 1 edits are happening, I have an almost complete draft of the second book. this is mostly me side-eyeing myself about taking nearly four years to write the first book, but that is solidly in part because I had so many other open projects which point 2 is about clearing that docket. this should be done in the next year.

And then just have my major projects be, at least until books 1-5 are written and published, books 1-5 of that because that is arguably the first major 'plot arc' of the series, so if I'm looking for a pause point on writing, that's probably where to stop.

There are two or three other short side projects (a weird fun second person short story tentatively titled witch-queen, a collection of four short stories Memoirs about a not-so-evil necromancer and the shenanigans he gets up to trying to rule a kingdom, working title Perfectly Normal Recipe Blog which is a collaborative project about a perfectly normal recipe blog that definitely doesn't include anything out of the normal) that will happen when they happen

There are other projects that are on the backburner -- The Numanok Files, a series of probably 12-15 short novellas about a mercenary/ bounty hunter esque person in space whose specialty is dealing with hauntings, but, like, 80% of their jobs is actually "you are effectively a space home inspector pointing out faulty wiring reacting to solar flares/ there's a weird alien fungus/ it's carbon monoxide okay change your atmosphere filters" and 20% of it is punching ghosts; there's a post-post apocalypse novel that I want to write that I know characters and general pacing and half the setting but need to work out the other half and figure out how much aesthetic I want to commit to; there's Strangeside7 aka spacerace book that is my reaction to how much I love how Redline the anime movie commits itself to "no we are about a race, like 60% of the screentime is just fully going to be an utterly ridiculous sci fi space race"; there's even a ridiculous YA trilogy that I would have to completely transplant the setting but might end up writing because the interplay between angel-physics and physics-physics was one of my favorite things in the world. and I guess the weird ridiculous technically a sequel series to ifmlam that was going to be published as original books that was basically me having fun with 'okay I fucking love star wars prequels old rotting space bureaucracy galactic republic style' except with seers and that also still might happen because it does have some of the coolest sci fi concepts and honestly I thiiiink that's all?

but the tl;dr of that timeline is I'm trying to finish a punch of projects Right Now, so that I can write books 2-5 of Opus, and then when I'm done that (which honestly, my average fiction-writing output is close to 100k a year. if I'm concentrating purely on one project, and writing books that are about 100k, we are talking four years. although my job situation is super up in the air in that period and writing might get put solidly on the backburner as I try to make it in academia, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) I will re-evaluate which projects go next, and that's when ifmlam is likely to come up for review.

I do not have any expectations that I will make it as an original author. I'm planning on posting all of my stuff online for free, but, like. it is incredibly difficult to convince people to try out even a piece of free and easily accessibly original work even if one has a huge following, I am a very small fanfiction author, and from what I can tell the majority of the people who are interested in my work are mostly interested in me finishing ifmlam. writing is a hobby for me, and while I'm writing mostly for me--and hence the for me bit at least for the next five years is pretty solidly going to be this series that I am deeply excited about and have sunk my heart and soul into every single aspect of--I'm human, and I don't really like shouting into the void, and I expect if I spend five years publishing to absolutely no response I will either stop writing for a while and do other things gods know my life is busy enough, return to fandom in general to write some other fanfic about whatever I get deeply into, or return to a work that I actually get response to. so ifmlam will probably start getting worked on a bit at that point one way or another. unless, of course, we are in the incredibly rare timeline in which I do make it as an original author, there are people who are deeply hyped for my original works and an actual demand for them, in which case as you may have noticed there are enough ideas there to keep me busy for a decade or two, and they will just get my full attention instead of fanfiction*. in this timeline, I will do what I was considering doing a few years ago, which is officially declare ifmlam otherwise abandoned and make one more giant chapter update which is a full and cleaned up outline of what I was going to write, interspersed with the scenes already written, and have ifmlam be given at least that closure.

*I want to make it clear that I very much love fanfiction and am proud to have been a fanfiction author and in my heart of hearts would keep writing it forever, I just also have a lot of ideas for characters and settings and magic systems and Aesthetics and I have been biting at the bit to write something that is //mine// and all mine and only mine for a while, I don't see original work as superior so much as there are a dozen fandoms that I am currently in and bursting to make content about except oops these fandoms currently only exist in my head, and I want to correct that

of course given how much as writing is my vent activity and I write what I'm in the mood for, there's a chance I'll feel ifmlam cravings before then, just... expect it to take a couple of years for an update, but also for there to be an update one way of another in a couple of years? but as for right now, I'm turning to original writing, because that is what brings me joy.

but I am really deeply honored that it brought you so much joy!!! and while I will never publish spoilers in a public place, if you message me off anon I am perfectly happy to give a run-down of my current plans for the ending, bc I know "wait a couple years and see" is not the most satisfactory of answers! and hey maybe you'll be like me and once you've given Opus a try you'll decide you like it better too, it does have Seers although they are deeply different Seers than in ifmlam but imo it's very gay and fun and at least politics on one side

#my life #my writing #ifmlam

[morkhan]

Will Byers is Gay: The Evidence So Far

With the release of Stranger Things 3, there has been a lot of discussion kicked up about the character of Will Byers and his sexuality (or lack thereof). I've seen a lot of takes about what "it's not my fault you don't like girls" was intended to mean, many of which seem to take it in isolation, so I wanted to make a post putting it into what I think is its proper context; not an isolated incident, but the latest carriage in veritable train of queer themed language and imagery that has followed Will Byers since episode one of season one, and before that. You ready? Alright, let's go.

Season Zero: the Montauk Files

Before Stranger Things became Stranger Things, it was called Montauk. Like many would-be show makers, the Duffer Bros put together a "show bible" describing the premise, setting, tone, and characters of the show they intended to make. Like many shows, a lot of these ideas changed or were lost on their way to the screen, but it's always worth looking into their original concepts. Here is their description of Will Byers in the Montauk show bible:

Obviously, the major whammy there is in the first line "sexual identity issues." But there are some other interesting notes, like his "colorful clothes" that you might want to keep a lookout for on your next rewatch. Now, onto...

Season 1

The thing to pay attention to regarding Will in season 1 is in the language used to refer to him when he is not present (which he isn't for most of the season).

Episode 1: the subject of bullying comes up right away in the conversation between Joyce and Hopper. "The kids, they're mean. They laugh at him, laugh at his clothes, call him names." "What's wrong with his clothes?" "I don't know!" This harkens back to the Montauk show bible, but it's arguable, since it's never made clear what about his clothes draws ire.

She also mentions that he is "sensitive," "not like most," and that his dad said he was "queer" and called him a "fag." Hopper asks "is he?" to which she replies "He's missing is what he is!"

Episode 3: Troy says he's not missing, he's dead. "Probably killed by some other queer."

Episode 4: Troy, again "Will's in fairyland, flying around with all the other little fairies, all happy and gay."

Sensitive, queer, fag, fairy, and gay are all used to describe Will in season 1, but perhaps more notable is the fact that they aren't used to describe anyone else. If the show were truly period accurate, let's be real; the whole party would've been called queers on a pretty regular basis, because "queer" doubled as a generic insult back then. But in season 1, these words are only ever used in relation to Will, with one exception; in episode 6, Steve says to Will's brother, "I used to think you were queer." So it's not even an active accusation in that moment; it's used in the negative.

Hell, Troy walked up to Lucas mockingly proposing to Mike and proclaiming his love for him, and he still didn't call them queers. That language is reserved for Will.

Now granted, most of these are used as insults by characters who don't like Will, but still; as a writer, if you want your audience to remember something, repetition is an excellent way to embed it in their minds. There's a reason for the specificity of language surrounding Will, and a reason that language keeps coming up over and over and over again.

Season 2

Season 2 retires much of the homophobic language used to insult Will, replacing it with "Zombie Boy." The only homophobic language used in season 2 is the word "faggot," used by Billy's father to refer to Billy, who expresses a clear interest in women (and an arguable interest in one particular man, but that's the subject of another post).

Still, there is an arguable bit of queer theming in Will's conversation with Jonathan regarding the benefits of being a "freak" and how normal people never accomplish anything. Jonathan even invokes bisexual icon David Bowie to make Will feel better about his "freakishness."

The clearest piece of queer theming for Will in season 2 comes in episode 8, in this beautiful speech from Joyce to Possessed Will:

"When you turned eight, I gave you that huge box of crayons, do you remember that? It was 120 colors. And all your friends got you Star Wars toys, but all you wanted to do was draw with all your new colors. And you drew this big spaceship, but it wasn't from a movie. It was YOUR spaceship; a RAINBOW Ship, that's what you called it. And you, you must have used every color in the box. I took that with me to Melvald's, and I put it up. I told everyone who came in, 'My son drew this.' And you were so embarrassed, but I was so proud. I was so, so proud."

This is one of the most powerful memories of her son that Joyce has, an image so strong and distinct that she uses it to invoke his true identity against the monster that is slowly subsuming him. She notes very specifically that it's not something he copied, but something that came entirely from Will himself, an image that she felt represented him so perfectly that she took it with her to work and proudly touted it as his to everyone she knew. The Rainbow Ship is Joyce's picture of her son's very heart, and surely I don't need to explain to you how powerful a piece of queer imagery the rainbow is.

Some subtextual stuff; in episode 9, when the girl asks Will to dance, he stammers "I... I don't..." and only goes to dance with her when Mike literally pushes him towards her.

During the final montage, the scene cuts to different characters in time with appropriate lines from the song: "every move you make" cuts to Mike and El (as he is teaching her to dance), "every vow you break" cuts to Nancy dancing with Dustin (as she technically cheated on Steve with Jonathan), "I'll be watching you" cuts to Lucas dancing with Max (as she has playfully called him 'stalker' all season). What line cuts to Will? "Every smile you fake," specifically on the word fake, while Will dances with a girl wearing this expression:

That is not a real smile, that is not a comfortable boy, and that is not an accident; Noah Schnapp is one of the best actors in the entire show, and of the young boys, he is the one the Duffers trust most to do dramatic heavy lifting.

Do you want it to be a little more explicit? Okay, here is that scene in the script:

I mean, that pretty much speaks for itself. It's less explicit in the actual show, but it's still there, you know?

Season 3

And now, the biggest and most explicit thing to date; The Scene. I mean, you could discuss the obvious subtext in the simple fact that Will is the only male main character who has yet to find a girlfriend or express any interest in girls whatsoever, but that pales in comparison to The Scene.

The setup for The Scene is pretty simple; after declaring "a day free of girls" in order to get his friends to run the D&D campaign he's probably spent a significant amount of time creating, his friends have blown him off to continue bemoaning their girl troubles, so Will has decided to leave. Mike, realizing too late that he has genuinely upset his friend, chases after him to try and get him to come back.

A back-and-forth argument ensues, where Will accuses Mike of ruining the party and abandoning his friends in favor of girls, and Mike, in the heat of the moment, responds with "It's not my fault you don't like girls!" After which, everything stops. There is a full second of silence, and a close up on Noah Schnapp's face so you can take in his reaction.

There is a lot to unpack here. Now, acting is up to interpretation to a degree, but to me, that expression conveys two primary emotions; shock, and betrayal. That face says "how could you?" Because here's the thing; regardless of what Mike does or doesn't know about Will's sexuality, Mike knows for a fact that Will has been called a queer all his life by everyone from his school bullies to his own fucking dirtbag father. By invoking even the specter of that, Mike has crossed a fucking line, and he knows it. And we know he knows it, because he immediately backtracks and tries to mitigate the damage. But it's too late. The damage has been done.

I also think there is a tinge of fear in that image. Just a moment of soul raking panic that pretty much every closeted queer person knows intimately. It's very brief. But I think it's there, if you look.

This scene sends Will into an emotional tailspin that culminates in him tearing down the literal last bastion of his childhood in a fit of sorrow and rage. His innocence has been destroyed. He cannot regain what he has lost, and he can never go back to the way things were before. This is the emotional climax of his arc for season three. It's a powerful one-- shame it comes in the third of eight episodes, but that's neither here nor there.

And that's pretty much it for now. Any one of these things taken in isolation could be very easily dismissed, but here's the thing; they aren't isolated incidents. They are part of a clear and consistent pattern, one that goes all the way back to the show's inception, before even one minute of footage was filmed. And this pattern points to one very obvious conclusion; the Duffer Brothers have always intended, and continue to intend, for Will Byers to be gay.

Now, for the obvious question; why haven't they made it explicit yet?

The answer is as unfortunate as it is obvious; I don't know.

It's entirely possible that there is some external force that the Duffers have to answer to that is preventing them from actively pursuing this particular storyline. This happens all the time in Hollywood, and it could be anything from Netflix to Noah Schnapp's parents to Noah Schnapp himself just being uncomfortable with it. Many are the creators who dream Big Gay Dreams only to run into the horrors of our Forced Hetero Reality. If the Duffers ultimately submit to these pressures, I hope you won't be too hard on them. This shit is harder than you think to get to the screen sometimes.

But it's also possible that they just aren't ready for it yet. That they have been saving this for a future storyline, that they just want their characters (and the actors) to get a little older before they pursue this particular storyline explicitly, but they've been busily laying groundwork for it so that anyone paying attention will know it's coming.

I don't know. Only time will tell for sure.

For now, I can tell you this; I see a great deal of evidence that the Duffers still intend for Will to be gay, and precisely zero that they have changed their minds.

I hope that holds true.

#stranger things #will byers #mike wheeler #lucas sinclair #dustin henderson #stranger things spoilers

[xampomi]

Exes & Angels | jjk

• genre: high school au | romance | mystery

• pairing: ex!jungkook x y/n

• warnings: jungkook's not using underwear (there's a reasonable reason for that); ¿maybe jimin has a crush on Jungkook¿ ; trust issues; I dunno

• summary: jungkook’s rambling

Jungkook was having a shitty day so far.

First, he forgot to wash his underwear in the weekend, so he just decided to go commando today bcs wtf was he gonna do at 6 in the morning?? Then, when running to class, he bumped into some weird guy.

"wtf man. Wanna fight?", the little guy said.

For a moment, Jungkook stopped dead in his tracks because he though he saw some fucking sparkling halo above boy's head. But Jungkook didn't sleep much that night anyway so.

"N-not now. Sorry. I'm running late.", which was technically true. The thing is Jungkook didn't care. And he didn't really wait for the sparkling guy's answer.

As soon as Jungkook entered the class he sat at his regular seat, the window's view being extremely appealing to him.

As all of us can imagine, Jungkook was a smart kid but he didnt really care since he knew he was also extremely hot. That thought came to his mind numerous times. He knew that he should probably quit high school and become a stripper. He was definitely done with this shit. In addition, that would bring a lot of fast easy money.

"Fuck, i forgot about breakfast.", he remembered, thanks to his body's noises. Then he try listening to class but that didn't worked that well for him since he has tendency to zone out real easily.

However, two knocks in the classroom's door echoed through Jungkook's ears and for some reason he was suddenly attentive to what was happening in the real world.

Soon after the knocking was heard, the teacher stood there like some earthquake emergency, in which he should tell the students to keep calm, keep calm but if you wanna come back to your mama, walk quickly.

Then he woke up. "Come in".

When the door opened, a dark-haired girl appeared She quickly smiled to the teacher as she entered the room. "Good morning. Sorry to interrupt your class", she said in a low, innocent voice, although something on him told him that she didn't really care about his class. But he was no more interested in what was happening so he just dropped his head again on the table.

"Don't worry. What do you need, y/n?", he couldn't see what was happening but Jungkook knew that the teacher's teeth were about to fall down if he kept smiling like that to the girl.

"Could I borrow... Jung Jungkook? He's from this class, right? Mr. Robert wants to talk to him", y/n kindly asked.

Something was wrong. Everyone knew Robert was done having conversations with Jungkook since what happened in the canteen 2 months ago. Or perhaps he decided to finally let that go of that. He hoped so. He didn't wanted to talk about that again. Besides, Namjoon deserved it.

Maybe this time Mr. Robert wants to finally have a real conversation. Maybe about last week's fire alarm's break out.

Oh well.

"Ah!", the teacher dropped too happily. Then he seemed kinda regretful. Yeah. Hide the excitement, you bastard. "Go talk to the principal, Jeon."

"Oh no, I can't What about your class? I was so excited about hearing about the... effect of.... molecular evidence on....the classification of...hm... organisms.", I said already reaching for the door. I don't know if you noticed but I was being extremely sarcastic.

"Ooooh, don't worry.", yeah, he prolonged that "oh" like that. He was also being sarcastic but I know that deep inside he would miss me. Everyone those.

"You know I always open an exception for you every time you need to do things outside my class, Jeon. C'mon. Go talk to the principal." He pointed to the door in a very nonsarcastic way.

"I will come back for you.", I didn't really said this. But it would be funny. Because I would never come back.

Now in the corridor, Jungkook felt real freedom. He could finally go home, eat pancakes and dress some sweatpants or something that wouldn't make his dick itchy.

"Ya. Where do you think you're going?"

Shit.

"You know I'm really grateful that you let me out of there. Seriously." He made a dramatic pause. Then he decided to push him hair back and for a second, he though he saw her rolling her brown dark eyes. "But we broke up, y/n. You need to find yourself another man."

For a moment she looked kinda offended. Then remember she had more important things to discuss with him.

"lol that's what's i've been trying to do. I though it was pretty obvious I was trying to seduce Jimin. I mean, he's cute as hell. He just.... he doesn't look normal, okay? And not the "He's-just-too-good-to-be-true"type. I mean, it's obvious that a man like him could never be compared as a simple human. Have you ever had a good look at him? He's a God. He's just beautiful and kind, and talented,and sooo funny. Absolutely boyfriend material,ya know. And his buttcheks?? I could never think of a better--"

"Okay, okay. I get it. And?"

"He isn't normal, jungkook."

"As you've been telling me."

"He seriously isn't normal."

"Who is?", I smirked. "Just tell me who this Jimin guy is already bcs i think I've never heard of him."

She frozed a little. Then she slowly approached him.

"Buy you saw him, right? I know you did. I saw you this morning with him. That's why I came to you.", she had her eyes real open by now. "You're the living prove that I'm not crazy. You're the only one who always believes in me, right?"

Jungkook took a good at her. She no more looked like the shy, innocent girl that came for him in the middle of class. Sure, she still looked like the typical social butterfly. She was always the type of person that just loved to befriend people here and there. Now she just looked kinda exhausted. Still beautiful, but exhausted.

So yeah, jungkook was fricking out a little bit. Something was wrong with her. He needed to calm her down, so he could go home.

Then she suddenly went closer to him, her voice quieter than before. "I also need to tell you about the weirdest part, BUT you need to promise me to keep secret. Promise me."

"Okay, go on."

"I'm serious, kookie. "

"Don't call me that. I told you before, right?"

"Do it."

"I, Jeon Jungkook, promise that I will never tell whatever you're about to tell me."

"I think I killed him."

Jungkook frozed. For some reason his vision started getting blurry. He didn't eat anything since yesterday. He needed to eat.

"Sorry. Can you repeat that?"

"It was an accident, Jungkook. An accident." Her face has becomed red, her eyes watery and her body shaky. "C'mon. If you don't believe in me, who will?".

"But I talked to him this morning. He's not dead, y/n"

"He really is."

"That's so fucking impossible, y/n." He pushed his hair back, but not in a seductive way anymore. "You can only be lying to me rn. What the fuck happened?"

She avoid jungkook's eyes. "I don't know! One minute we were just making out inside the school depository and next one, he--"

Jungkook hoped he wouldnt regret his next words.

"Prove it."

"You still won't believe me, do you?"

"Y/n. Where's the body?"

"If I show it to you right now....will you believe in me? Will you promise to believe forever in me?"

Jungkook looked around. He was not in the right mood to see a dead body rn. But It was 14pm and for some reason he saw no one.

He should probably come back to class anyway.

"The body is still in there here, ya know."

"What?"

"Don't worry. Obviously is hidden under some blankets I found in there. I can show it to you."

"Did you call the policy?"

Now she frozen on her feet. "No, ofc not. I can't go to jail. I can't. Please believe in me, Kookie. We could just go. As we talked about bef-"

Jungkook should definitely become a stripper after this. But for now, he needed to call someone. However, the phone was inside the classroom. He couldn't call the police without a crime. He needed to see for himself. Yeah, played with fire alarms but dont fucking mess with 911.

If that boy really was dead, y/n needed to be arrested. That's the truth. He will eventually need to discuss it with her. Just not now.

"Let's go, then", he finally decides.

"Yey", she said but not that excited - she even seemed a little disappointed?? - but took his arm between hers anyway and guided him from corridor to corridor.

When they first arrived the depository's door, Jungkook was expecting to her to free his arm but she didn't. She wasn't stopped trembling. She killed a man and can't stop shaking wtf. She was afraid. Well, Jungkook was the one who should be afraid. I mean she had a lot of time to get accustomed to the cadaver. But more than that, Jungkook was hungry. Poor Jungkook.

The next moment,he saw y/n taking from her pocket a metal key. How did she get that? The innocent shy girl who could never lie to anyone, was no more a good girl.

She unlocked the door. "You'll believe in me now, Kook." And they stepped inside.

"It's too dark", he said.

"I know, dummy. I'll search for the switch."

The light went on but he still couldnt see anything.

"Where the fuck is the body? Are you lying to me again?"

"What do you mean? He's right there. Look.", she started pointing weirdly to the floor in front of them. She looked mad. Almost like there was something there that only her could see.

'Y/n. Where's the body. I'm serious now."

"Right here, Kok. Come closer."

He did. He did come a little closer.

"I would never lie to you. He's right there. Right there."

Still searching for something , Jungkook collapsed on the floor after the strong sting he felt in his neck.

2/7.

#bts #exo #got7 #blackpinga #twice #ioi #pancakes #rrede belvet #1a1 #fanfic #kindasad #fuckboi #smut #angst #sexystuff #uwuw #ariana grande

[toumakibangs]

Oh when I woke up tonight I said I've gotta make somebody love me (and now I know that is you, you're lucky lucky)

SERVICE NOTE: Here we are with the last prompts of the TouMaki Month! I’m so very sorry for the delay, but I went long with writing because of work issues and after that I’ve been without internet for a while (still am, technically)! If you’re reading this, it means that he last fics have been queued and they’re being uploaded as we speak: a post every two hours, from 3pm to 5am, CEST time. My advice is to check the blog if you don’t want to miss any, because if you’re going to browse the tags (‘toumaki month 2018’ and ‘toumaki’), Tumblr will only show you three posts per blog.

Anyway, at 7am CEST time we’ll upload a recap post featuring ALL the entries to the Month, so you can browse them more easily (I’m also saving the final Goodbyes and Thank You-s for then).

My apologies again for the wobbly schedule and I hope you’ll enjoy these last fireworks!

Prompt: “Things you said on the phone at 4am”

Jules’ Notes: Did somebody say ‘Paradise Kiss’? Not an AU, but whenever I think about Makishima’s life in London I feel influenced by that manga. So, if you’re familiar with it, you might recognize a certain situation… but I’m positive it will end differently for Maki-chan! ;)

Toudou’s phone blasts off in the middle of the night, and it’s only halfway through the fifth ring that Toudou sees it’s freakin’ 4am in the morning. Right after that, Hana, for the adjacent room, proceeds to remind him just how late 4am in the morning is for the average person. Caught between sleep and the literal wake-up-call, he has barely the time to mentally chastise himself for always forgetting to put his phone on vibration mode before he sees the caller’s ID. It’s Makishima. Who is the reason Toudou always forgets to put his phone on vibration mode. They have an hard enough time just trying to keep in touch, lately, it would be absolutely unthinkable, in Toudou’s list of values, to miss a call from Makishima or let a text or a mail unattended. Even if Makishima never calls after 9.30pm (Tokyo time), not to disrupt Toudou’s sleeping schedule. And even if he insisted Toudou didn’t have to reply to his messages right away, that was the whole point of leaving them, to give Toudou the chance to answer when he was more comfortable.

But Makishima is clearly calling him right now, in the middle of the night, and the ringtone has been going on for so long that it can’t be a mistake. Why would he do that, if not for a huge emergency?! If not for something very serious!? Like, an accident, or breaking up with Toudou over this long-distance-relationship that is clearly more effort than it’s worth?!

Hana solicits him again (this time by slamming her platforms towards the wall they share, by the sound of it) and Toudou answers the call out of reflex. The picture of Makishima that is associated to his contact switches to the black screen, but Toudou’s ears fill with a well-known, much beloved, totally missed voice.

- Jinpachi!!!

It’s not, Toudou notices, the tone of voice of someone that is going to announce a tragedy, but he kind of feels too drowsy, still, to trust his own judgement.

- M-Maki-chan..?

- I’ve sold it, Jinpachi, I’ve done it! I’m sorry, I know it’s late as fuck back home but I had to tell you!!! I’ve sold it!

Even half-asleep, he doesn’t miss the affectionate way Makishima addressed Japan and called it home. A few months ago, he wouldn’t have. It puts a smile on Toudou’s lips and calms his racing heart more than the rest of Makishima’s words. That, so far, still hold too little meaning for him to make something of them.

- …w-what are you talking about?

- My dress, Jinpachi! One of the pieces I’ve left at some boutiques! It has been sold!

It’s something they’ve been talking about, recently: Makishima still helps his brother with his brand but lately, with the complicity of a few classmates, he has started developing his own side-brand, and Ren encouraged him to put a label on his creations and try to propose them to some few, selected underground shops among his own. So far, the experiment hadn’t given much results. Although it was to be expected, since unique pieces were more difficult to place than mass-produced ones that could be made available in every size, it still was a little disheartening for a wannabe designer to hear, day after day, that nobody wanted your stuff. Until today. When, apparently, right before closing time someone had walked into an indie store looking for Ren’s Design novelties and purchased a whole outfit labelled Spider’s Web.

Makishima’s first sale as an independent designer.

- That’s AMAZING! Oh my god Maki-chan I’m so happy!!! Are you happy?!

He hears a loud chuckle at the other end of the phone, along with the clinking of glasses and a whooping noise that sounds too much like Ren partying on his own in their tiny kitchen.

- K’ha! Of course I’m happy! It’s a real sale, Jinpachi! I mean, in a real shop! Somebody walked in, tried my dress and liked it so much that they decided to buy it! And they picked the accessorizes too! I mean, isn’t it amazing!?

What’s amazing, in Toudou’s opinion, is his boyfriend’s absolute marvel at a gesture that is at the very base of his dream profession, and he jokes about it lightly.

- Isn’t it what you’ve always worked so hard to achieve, though? People buying your stuff?

- Yeah, but you don’t understand: I’ve sewn things for Ren that have been sold, I’ve even suggested him some designs that he’s managed to turn into something desirable, but people never really liked my clothes enough to buy them! I mean, this is real!  They’ve given me the money they made from the sale! I am currently drinking the fruits of my labour!

Toudou would like to hug and kiss him senseless. To congratulate and celebrate him, of course, but mostly because right now Makishima is too adorable for words.

- Drink them to the last drop, then, tiger. You’ve earned it.

- I did. I mean, I really did. It’s unbelievable.

There’s a pause, and Toudou hears him gulp down something, most probably expensive beer, if he knows him and Ren. Then there is a sigh, and when he resumes speaking Makishima sounds more sober than earlier.

- What if it’s real, Jinpachi? What if this is the real thing?

The subtext is clear: what if it turns out this is not a scam, and all my efforts pay off, and my future starts to take a definite direction, and it’s a route that doesn’t involve Japan, at least not in the short term? What if I make it, and my dreams come true? What happens to the rest?

Toudou exhales loudly, failing to hide a chuckle. Because despite the untold questions, he can’t help but feel enthusiastic at his boyfriend’s success.

- This is the real thing, Yuu. Which means that you were right all along, and that you don’t have to stop now, but work harder than ever. Strike while the iron is hot, or what is it than they say in London: go get your rightful place among all the professionals that populate those streets!

- …you make it sound so easy.

- I know what you’re capable of, and I believe in you. I’m proud of you: congratulations on your sale.

He hears Makishima swallow.

- I… I wanted to tell you right away. As soon as I knew it. T-They called me and the only thing I thought about beside my own exhilaration was ‘I have to tell Jinpachi’.

Toudou sniffs, and dries his eyes with the back of his hand.

- T-Thank you. I’m very h-happy to hear that.

- …I love you?

Makishima never says the words first. He always reciprocates them wholeheartedly, but he doesn’t say them first, usually.

- I love you too. I… I wished I was there to celebrate with you.

There’s a pause and Toudou knows Makishima is worrying his bottom lip and pinching the bridge of his nose.

- M-Me too, Jinpachi. Honestly.

They don’t say anything for a while, merely breathing into the phone and listening to each other. Toudou puts his own device on the pillow and lays down himself: like this, if he keeps his eyes closed, it almost feels like they’re beside each other.

- …sorry for waking you up? I mean, what time is it on your side, 4 am?

- Twenty past four, right this instant.

- Go to sleep, Jinpachi.

Toudou yawns.

- Talk me into it: what are you having for dinner? Going out to celebrate?

- K’ha! No, not at all: we’ve ordered take out, I’ve been craving spring rolls for a while. And Ren keeps handing me beer that I swear I don’t know where it’s going.

- You’re drinking it, Yuu. I can hear you swallowing and you’ve been doing that for a while.

- You’re lying.

- I’m not and you’re going to get drunk.

- And doesn’t that bother you?

Toudou whines.

- It does, but it’s not like I can stop you from here, can I?! At least I know you’re home and you’re safe.

- I’m not safe, my brother is totally irresponsible.

There’s an indignant exclamation in the background, followed by a thud, and Toudou knows Ren has thrown Makishima a slipper: he chuckles.

- Love that you’re so lively…

The commotion is followed by silence, as if Makishima locked himself into another room.

- Where are you, now?

- Bedroom.

- Me too.

- Yeah, I guessed as much.

- …tell me about the dress you sold.

Makishima knows Toudou doesn’t really care for the details of the outfit, but he does understand that asking Makishima to talk about his work is the easiest way to get to hear his voice for a long period of time. It’s a game that Makishima plays willingly, and he knows he’s going to lose Toudou before he arrives to the description of the matching hat and fake suspenders, but he doesn’t care. The breathing on the other end quiets down and stabilizes at the shoes, but he rattles on in a low reassuring tone and then stays silent, listening to the faint murmurs coming from the other end of the line.

It almost feels like Toudou is sleeping beside him.

He doesn’t hang up for a long time.

#toumaki month 2018 #submission #toumaki #julesdrenages

[whole-dip]

Some thoughts on every single disney animated feature film I've currently seen

-Snow White: This movie is nowhere near as boring as I expected it to be, but still pretty boring. Its technical innovations are incredible within context but it truly couldn't capture my attention whatsoever. The only reason I watched it is because I had to write a paper about it.

-Pinocchio: Clunky. There was a logic at the time at disney that the movies would more or less be a series of related cartoons tied together with a through-line and this is very much that. While it is still a cohesive narrative, it's very much a series of events rather than a story.

-Dumbo: More of a narrative here, but still very disjointed. The animation is good and it has much more personality since it's more or less a contemporary setting, but outside of the famous pink elephants sequence, it's not much.

-Bambi: This is what I'd consider to be the first truly cohesive story from disney's feature. This movie is truly phenomenal and well earned its way into the canon of epics. Bambi's journey from young fawn to prince of the forest is beautiful and moving. The jokes about dead moms only stick because this movie is just that good.

-Saludos Amigos: The first of the package films. Doesn't hold a candle to the superior Three Caballeros but still incredible in its own right. It's short enough to do a double feature with Three Caballeros so that's how I recommend viewing it.

-The Three Caballeros: Now THIS is what I'm talking about! The finale gets due recognition for being truly one of the best pieces of animation to come out of disney, but everything up to it is still pretty incredible. Horny donald is the best donald and I love the flying serape sequence.

-Melody Time: This one's very disjointed but Pecos Bill is one of the best and funniest shorts disney's ever made. I highly recommend at least watching just that segment.

-The Adventure of Ichabod and Mr. Toad: Sleepy Hollow's disney adaptation is the much more famous half of this feature but in reality, it's got practically nothing to do with the headless horseman. Mr Toad however, is truly phenomenal as an epic crime thriller that will keep you in suspense. I know that sounds like a joke but truly it's not. Go watch it.

-Cinderella: Boring

-Alice in Wonderland: Also boring

-Lady and the Tramp: I was shocked at how much I enjoyed this one. It's fun, cute, and even funny at times. It really drops the ball in the finale, but for the most part, this romantic comedy is a real gem and definitely holds up. I recommend to kids and adults alike.

-Sleeping Beauty: It's wild how contemporary this one feels. The first half is a teen romantic comedy about mistaken identity and sneaking away from strict parents to get some time with your secret crush, but the second half falls apart with its focus on action instead of the characters. Special shout out to the incredible colors and moving tapestry art style which is great throughout.

-One Hundred and One Dalmatians: Again, surprisingly contemporary. Disney's first foray into the 1960s gives us a fun romp with memorable characters and gorgeous animation that feels down to earth compared to the more fantasy driven works of before.

-The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh: Is Pooh disney's greatest character? That's hard to say but I wouldn't disagree with someone that thinks so. Cute, fun, and funny, this movie is truly a warm blanket. For as much as we give shit to sickly sweet disney, this movie doesn't pretend to be anything but a small little story of cute characters. The surprisingly somber ending will leave you more contemplative than you expected, but still content to have spent time in the hundred acre wood.

-The Little Mermaid: I am always saddened to remember that this movie doesn't hold up as much as I wish it did. For every memorable song or character moment, there's a piece of clunky animation or just plain weird dialogue. It's so clear the studio was trying to get back on its feet. This first step pushes forward, but not where it needs to be.

-Beauty and the Beast: A slow first act leads to a truly phenomenal second and third. A triumph in animation, songwriting, and the studio itself. Far more nuance and beauty in this story than detractors like to claim. Well deserving of its nomination.

-Aladdin: It's not a heartfelt movie with some laughs, it's a comedy with some heart. Great action sequences, stellar animation, and just plain fun. After the regal romance of beast a year earlier, Aladdin's vegas style romp is a welcome addition to a studio that often takes itself way too seriously

-The Lion King: Like with bambi, this coming of age story deserves all the praise it gets. Incredible music, awe inspiring animation, and a tight storyline with memorable characters make this movie worth watching over and over again.

-Pocahontas: Maybe the most contrived, try hard, fucking boring movie the studio has ever made. Almost unwatchable.

-The Hunchback of Notre Dame: I am always shocked to find out this movie isn't a beloved classic. Truly incredible art and an amazing score/soundtrack make this one an instant classic to me. If you haven't watched it since childhood, give it another shot.

-Hercules: If it was just funny and had good music this one would be good, but it also has some of disney's best characters and a beautiful story of dueling world views.

-Mulan: Would've been a 10/10 if it weren't for fucking Mushu which makes it a seven to me. Otherwise, a fun, story with great music and truly epic action scenes.

-Tarzan: Often considered the weakest of the renaissance, this adventure about identity and family features a great (if too in your face) phil collins soundtrack with truly amazing animation innovation being displayed.

-The Emperor's New Groove: It's not funny.

-Atlantis: The Lost Empire: I truly can't think of a single bad thing about this movie. Incredible art, one of disney's best scores, and a story that will keep you captivated on its adventure. This movie is near perfect.

-Lilo & Stich: I once heard someone say this is disney's best film and I'm inclined to agree. The gorgeous water color backgrounds and Chris Sanders' beautiful character design play out a beautiful story that reflects a story of two abandoned children, with nuance about colonization to boot. Hawaiian Rollercoaster Ride might be the best original disney song too.

-Treasure Planet: Such a hit or miss movie. Amazing action set pieces, but contrived characters. A phenomenal score, but a terrible soundtrack. This might be the most studio noted film disney's done and it's all the worse for it.

-Brother Bear: Not perfect by any means, but the beautiful animation and even more beautiful backgrounds are worth a look. The story is a little too basic and a little too predictable, reeking of white writers.

-Chicken Little: This is the first time I realized movies could be bad.

-Meet the Robinsons: Your nostalgia lied to you.

-The Princess and the Frog: Way too many cooks in the kitchen. Everything is good, but it's all a little muddled. It's a shame to because Tiana deserves better.

-Tangled: Like with mermaid, this return to form isn't perfect but it moves the studio forward. Rapunzel and Flynn are great characters and the subtle tweaking of the "formula" show the studio's willingness to innovate.

-Winnie the Pooh: Cute, but a very pleasant, fine movie. Worth watching.

-Wreck-It Ralph: I applaud this one for being so different. Lots of comedy here and a far better response to dreamworks than chicken little ever was.

-Frozen: Unfortunately, this movie is worth the hype. Is it amazing? No, but it's certainly very good. It's easy to see why this was the phenomenon it became.

-Big Hero 6: One of many in the series of attempt for disney to do an action movie. This superhero coming of age is definitely one of the better superhero stories not explicitly based on a comic, but it still feels like a comic book themed movie rather than a story that truly connects to the media that inspires it.

-Zootopia: Nowhere near as poignant as it wants to be, but plenty of fun with a great score by Michael Giacchino.

-Moana: Easily the best of the new princesses and a damn shame that it hasn't gotten the recognition it deserves. Moana's stellar animation and blast of a soundtrack create a beautiful film that's perfect for young girls. Seemingly a stealth remake of mermaid by the original directors, this one deserves to be a classic.

-Ralph Breaks the Internet: A surreal comedy from disney with a weak story but certainly some story innovations you wouldn't expect from the company. Watch it if only to see something you'd never expect the studio to do.

-Frozen 2: A surprisingly lore driven film that I really didn't expect. Probably the closest thing the company has done to a lord of the rings style story in recent years and I'm excited to see what this potential leads to next.

-Raya and the Last Dragon: Rips off way too much from Last Airbender in a way that is never bad, but man it gets kinda borings. Can't focus on any one thing unfortunately.