#which apparently means i default go subbing out ‘fuck’ for ‘shit’??????

[sstrwbrryccke]

member of txt!amab!reader who wears grey sweatpants to practice... and soobin can't help, but keep on staring at their crotch :( stupid baby can't even concentrate on practicing anymore, so he just sits on the floor and continues staring, rubbing his thighs together from time to time. reader obviously takes a notice at soobin's behaviour, so when they're left alone in practice room, it all ends up with soobin getting fucked dumb in front of all the mirrors around...

stop pervy soobin will be the death of me… thank you em @soobinsonly1bf for the request! 🫢🙏 (i asked him to req me HSHHSJFJA)

— practice room | sub choi soobin

tags: txt!amab!reader x pervert soobin, mean reader but soft at the end, made-up dance routine, reader is the oldest of the group, usage of hyung a few times, mirror sex, downbad soobin, pervert soobin, mention of drool once, soobin fingering himself, thigh slapping, dacryphilia, age dominance? idk like korea’s respect system based on age, fluffy at the end but other than that its filth

“okay everyone, two more tries. from the top.”

you call out, slicking your hair back, and getting back to position. more emotion, more expression, focus on the chorus. you repeat in your head, looking back at your members.

“lets do it!” yeonjun yells in english, clapping his hands, hyping up everyone as beomgyu replays the song from the top. soobin takes his position beside you, a meek look on his face, which you shrugged off at first. maybe he was tired, the group had been practicing for hours after all.

gradually however, you begin to notice the subtle changes in his breath pattern, the way he bites his lips as he stares intently at the practice mirror. it only became more apparent at the killing part of the dance, you face towards soobin, hand reaching out to grasp his chin, and you distinctly hear his breath hitch, eyes lidded as he stares at you.

when the dance ended, some members took a drink break, while others kept correcting their mistakes in the mirror. you on the other-hand, approached soobin directly, who was busy pretending as if he didn’t see you.

“soobin.”

you just say, arms crossed. the said boy was sitting with his back flush to the mirror. head turned to the side and hand rubbing the back of his neck. his eyes glance to you before nervously looking away. the closer you get the more jittery he becomes. you squat in front of him, and you hear him hold his breath, he couldn’t help but glance down— to your crotch and the outline of your cock in your grey sweatpants— oh shit.

he gulps, coming face to face with your knowing look. he just got caught staring. he props his knees up, hugging them to his chest, face down. trying to hide his growing erection.

“soobin, look at hyung.”

he lifts his head at this, bunny eyes wide and mouth agape. you were smirking at him. his heart thumped and his cheeks grew warm.

“guys, soobin’s tired, let’s practice one more time without him. come on, get up. lets go.” you clap, signalling to the others before jumping up and walking back to your position. some members whine, joking about your favouritism towards soobin and you just shush them playfully. the many privileges of being the oldest. the loud instrumentals start, but instead of the mirror, you stare at the boy sitting in front.

the moment the dance begins, you default back to your facial expressions carefully crafted for each move, though your eyes never left soobin’s pair. he felt his erection twitch in his pants. you lick your lips and he imagines that was him spread out onto your tongue. you thrust your hips and he imagines his body flush against yours. and god, those stupidly hot grey sweatpants. he was so incredibly down bad for a dumb piece of clothing, but the way the fabric almost left nothing yet everything to the imagination— maybe he finally understood how fans felt when they see their bias.

before he knew it, his thighs were desperately rubbing together, mouth agape. if he opened his lips any wider, drool might even seep out. he was so needy, and he knew you knew. the way you eyed him down, tongue poking at your inner cheek, fingers deliberately sliding down from your chest to near your crotch.

god.

thankfully the dance was over, otherwise soobin might’ve genuinely busted in his pants, and he was sure he would’ve faced a lifetime of teasing as a result. you pat each member behind the back, exchanging ‘good work’s as you remind everyone to stretch at the dorm. yeonjun sneaks up on you, slapping your ass with a cheeky grin. “what? gonna dote on soobin once the two of you are alone?”

you jab him in the side, playfully rolling your eyes. you knew yeonjun was joking, but he didn’t know just how true his words were. there had always been something between you and soobin since your trainee era, and the two of you were ecstatic when you found out you were debuting together. and soon enough, that attraction became something tangible and physical. as hormonal young adults, it was no surprise you two took advantage of your youth to enjoy each other’s presence. aka fuck like wild bunnies.

when the rest of the group leave the room, their laughter and chattering muffled down the hallway, you slowly lock the practice room door, turning around to meet eyes with a very desperate soobin. his hands snaking around your neck. kissing you just as eagerly, you kiss him back much more precise compared to his sloppy attempt. he pushes a tongue against your bottom lip and that’s when you part, a string of saliva connecting you two. he stares at you for a second before a low whine trembles out from his plump lips.

“why?”

“why should i reward you? you’ve been bad.”

his pouty lips frown, about to sulk before you push him further into the room, dead centre in the middle of the practice mirrors.

“seriously soob, you think you’re slick, staring at my crotch like that?”

his face instantly darkens to a crimson red, he lowers his head and his bangs cover his eyes but you can see the pink on his ears.

“you wanted to distract me didn’t you. wanted me to mess up on the choreography?”

he shakes his head quickly, his hair tousling at the motion, his big eyes peak from behind his bangs as he looks at you.

“no!… i…” he stammers, trying to formulate words to defend himself, but all he could really focus on was his hardening dick and how it pressed against his jeans painfully.

“no? look at yourself.”

he does as you say. good obedient boy. there was a tent in his jeans and at the very tip was a wet spot. his breath stutters, because he catches a glance at your crotch too, your length outlined by the thin fabric of the sweatpants. he wished that was in him instead.

“i can’t help it, im sorry.” his head hung low in an embarrassed shame, apologising to his older member out of genuine guilt.

“if you’re so sorry, let me see you open yourself up. if you’re good, maybe ill reconsider.”

he takes a glance at you, and he knew exactly what you wanted. he’s been here before, you wanted to see the humiliation on his face as he played with himself. you wanted him to cry as he threw away his dignity and pride. degrade his body into a shivering and quivering mess until he begged for forgiveness.

it shouldn’t, but it turned him on so much. he quickly shuffles off his pants, keeping his hoodie on because he knew you liked seeing his huge hoodie slump down his figure and onto his cock. he parts his legs but before he can touch himself you stop him. his wide eyes look at you, did he do something wrong? are you going to leave him here untouched and hard?

“turn around.” you interrupt his train of thoughts, sitting down crossed legged as you dug into his pants, taking out a travel-sized bottle of lube.

“how did you—“

“knowing your perverted ass, i took a wild guess.”

he sheepishly smiled, turning around as you commanded. meeting face to face with the reflection of his body. and wow was he red… thighs parted with his dick barely hidden by his hoodie. it looked sinful, and you were grinning behind him. you take his hand, slathering a good amount of cold lube on his fingers before leaving him be.

“go on, soob.”

you state, and his breath trembles as his fingers prodded at his own ass, slipping in softly and he keens, thighs and eyes slowly closing, only to snap back to reality by a ringing slap to his thigh. he yelps, widening his legs and looking up at you in the mirror.

“keep your eyes and legs open.”

your hand comes to tilt his chin up, he bites back tears as he continued inserting in his fingers with your new rules. you were so mean. he wanted to whine, but if he endured this he might be rewarded. so he disregards all his shame as he starts riding his own fingers. crotch leaned towards the mirror as he watched his hole close and open.

“look at that soobin, if you were good from the beginning that could be my dick.”

you whispered and he whimpers, tears escaping and rolling down his cheek. all he wanted was for you to dote on him, but because of his stupid horny brain he ruined that chance. he starts sobbing as the shame seeps into him, and you slap his thigh again to remind him to keep his eyes open. he does his best to please you, biting his lips hard as he inserted a fourth finger, it painfully stretched him out but he kept going, his hopeful eyes glancing up at you in pleads. but you didn’t budge and he just couldn’t do it anymore, his finger accidentally jabs particularly hard at his prostate and his thighs shook— a choked ‘coming’ trembled in his throat before he came in ropes, hard cock bobbing up and down before he was empty.

he gasps out, the satisfaction of the orgasm was soon replaced by his brooding disappointment. he sighed as he took his fingers out of his hole. head down and afraid to look up at you, he knew you were disappointed. it was akin to getting a scolding from his manager. his non-dirty hand comes up to wipe at his tears, at least he could face his hyung with some dignity before he gets reprimanded.

though, as if the gods answered his prayers, your hands come up to brush his bangs away from his eyes, pulling his tall body into your lap.

“soob it’s okay, you did well, soob.”

he sighs out a breathy exhale, big red eyes glancing behind him.

“i’m sorry” he just says, sulking.

“you’re okay. want to feel me in you?”

he nods, letting you dote on him. it always felt nice when you took care of him, either socially or physically. he may be the taller one, but you were his hyung and you always made sure he was taken care of. you slip your dick out from your sweatpants, before slowly inserting yourself into his throbbing hole. he sighs, out of relief this time. he glances into the mirror and you had your face in the crook of his neck, slowly moving him up and down as your hand caressed his cock.

it was a few soft moments, you thrusted softly into him as to not overstimulate him. he turns his head to you again, plump lips in a frown.

“kiss?” you ask, he nods eagerly, and you capture his lips gently. letting his curious tongue in your mouth this time, and in exchange you slipped yours in his, tasting him. his breath hitches, and you could tell he was close with how his stomach clenched. you break from the kiss to suck on his neck, leaving a small hickey just above his collarbone. he moans out, quiet and breathy, thighs clenching as his second orgasm came at him in waves. he squeezes your cock and you cum with a small moan.

the two of you take a moment to breathe before a satisfied smile adorns his pink lips again. you chuckle, so predictable. his eyes creased with his grin and his aegyo sal was on full show, he turns to you and cuddles into your neck.

“happy?”

“super.” he giggles into your collarbone. you let him enjoy your body warmth for a moment, slipping your dick out and hearing the soft drip of cum falling from his hole to the ground.

after a few soft seconds, you pat his back, getting his attention. “okay soobie, let’s clean up and go back to the dorm. we have a dance practice to film tomorrow.”

he sulks when you untangle his long limbs from yours, but quickly recovers as he cleans out the cum from his hole with a tissue (shivering and doing his best not to get hard again, this man has a stamina of a bunny…) slipping his underwear and pants back on. meanwhile you take one of the towels to clean up the residue on the floor. dumping it in a basket later. you gather yours and soobins stuff before noticing the guy staring long and hard at his reflection.

“soobin? what’s up.”

“i have a hickey.”

“what— oh.”

“what do i do? we’re filming tomorrow.”

“…hope and pray moas don’t notice?”

—☆★☆

TOMORROW X TOGETHER OFFICIAL uploaded: TXT (투모로우바이투게더) ‘XXXXX’ Dance Practice

@soobslefttoe: yall?? is that a hickey on soobins neck

@iloveyn: @soobslefttoe nah the real question is DO YOU GUYS SEE HOW YN LOOKED AT SOOBIN??? i would sell my soul to be looked at like that.

@ynxsoob4ever: they are totally fuvking i bet yn scks coobins dick all day

@sanetxtstan: all of you are so delulu…

#ask ☆ #fic ☆ #choi soobin #soobin x reader #sub idol #sub soobin #sub soobin x reader #sub txt #sub!soobin #soobin #soobin hard hours #soobie boobie #soobin hard thoughts #soobin x male reader #soobin smut #soobin fluff #txt hard hours #txt x reader #txt smut #dom reader x soobin #sub soobin x dom reader #dom reader #dom!reader #kpop x male reader #reader x kpop #kpop x reader #kpop x y/n #kpop x you #kpop hard hours #kpop hard thoughts

[dzpenumbra]

6/4/23

I made it through the day. Another kinda tough one, but not as tough as the past two... so that's good.

I woke up after very upsetting dreams, but I don't remember them. Haven't dream journaled in a long time, so the reflex isn't there. Didn't get much sleep because of that, probably about 5 hours.

I got on social media in bed. I really need to stop doing that. I swear to god, like... every single conversation on Reddit is an argument. Half (and that's being super fucking generous) of Instagram is ads or paid placement. I'm not really here to complain about that, I just... it sets a bad vibe for the day. Honestly, more Reddit than Instagram. But today, I actually joined a conversation on Reddit. I was in a default sub, which is always a dumb idea... and it was a video of a cat attacking their owners at night, in the r/funny subreddit. And... I used to have that problem too. And 90% of the comments said shut the cat out of the room. A concerning number were advocating physically beating the cat to "correct" it. And then there was me and like two other people buried in there, sharing the apparently "controversial" first-hand experience that... this is textbook... Okay, it's really hard to put into words gently, so I'm going to say it the way I did in the comment. They need to play with their cat more, the cat is trying to play. I don't want to say neglect, because... people are very poorly educated, especially with cats, and for some reason think that cats are like... living stuffed animals or something? That they don't need social stimulation? And... yeah... it's obviously a delicate topic when you're dealing with these kinds of things, people get violently offended. But yeah, coming to the realization that I had been neglecting my cat... and making time to play with her before bed... it was a routine for us around when I started this journal, and quite a bit before. And she was like... 14, there's a huge stigma of like... "old cats don't play". Making that time for her completely solved that issue.

And I even got some person on a throwaway account say some stupid shit like "what the fuck are you talking about..." all that. I mean, all I said was that cats are crepuscular, they are most active at dawn and dusk, the video was showing very telltale tail movements that are like... textbook "I want to play". I explained the whole "cycle of cat life" which is play(hunt) -> feed -> find a safe place, maybe piss and shit -> sleep. And as long as those are accessible and being met, and your cat is healthy, you got yourself a happy cat. It is a very natural cycle for a pure carnivore. But, apparently, I might as well be speaking fucking Cantonese to people who want to come in and say "I don't know all that mumbo jumbo, what are you talking about? (as though they actually want the answer to that question) I've already made up my mind! The best solution here is to shut your door and neglect your neglected cat even further. And when they scratch at the door, contain them further. Why waste my precious time trying to get to know an adopted member of my family when I could be putting that time into being fucking 'right' on the internet."

It just makes me really sad. For the animals that don't have a say in it. For the unnecessary suffering. For the avoidable conflict and pain.

I guess that's a big Buddhist thing that I've always struggled with. The innate nature of life being Suffering. And Suffering comes from Attachment and Desire. And Nirvana - "heaven" is a close analog... kinda... - is a state of being in which one is not compelled/driven by Fear or Desire. And... I struggle with that. I always have.

I mean, I get it. If I didn't love my cat, I never would have suffered her death the way I have. If I didn't desire to save these animals that I have never met, I wouldn't suffer from the powerlessness of not being able to do anything. And, on the flip side, if I didn't fear being mugged in the woods by the recently evicted homeless masses, I would be more than willing to go for a walk. If I didn't fear wasting a gallery owner's time, and embarrassing myself, I would submit my work.

The problem I have with it is... you can't have one without the other. If you want to get rid of Fear, you have to get rid of Desire. And Desire is... ambition, it's setting goals, it's building projects.

I don't know. I just... I struggle with just... seeing the darkness of the world. It disturbs me. And it happened in such... sudden and dramatic ways for me. I remember it very clearly, it was Fall 2018. And really what it took was me getting my bell rung by several big ethical betrayals... and my naivete started cracking. And I started to see... all the dark things I just pushed to the side and turned a blind eye to my whole life. All the monsters lurking in the dark corners. And it fucking spooked me. But I also, at the same time... started seeing all the magic in the mundane, in the everyday things that I also used to look at very shallowly.

I don't think I've ever written about this, I really want to share it because it was a pivotal moment in my life and... I was horrified to share it with others for years because of how hard it was for me to actually process. Then I'll move on to tarot after.

This was when I was getting back into smoking weed for the first time in 10+ years. I started getting really into Darren Brown videos. If you don't know who he is, he's an illusionist and mentalist from over the pond. He did this one experiment where he got a statue for a small rural town and installed it in the town square and started a folktale from scratch. I don't recall details, forgive me, I'm gonna paraphrase what I remember. As far as I remember, he made up a backstory about it granting luck to people who... do something with it, like rub its head or something, I don't know. But he spread the rumor very subtly, with no one in on it, so that the town would spread the tale themselves, so that the folklore would spread on its own. And... over time... people were routinely using it. And it was actually granting people luck. Like... there were a lot of weird coincidences that started happening. And it made me start to think... can we actually... manufacture... luck? Meh, that's not the right word. Um... manifest? Create? Can we, through a placebo effect, actually create good fortune for others? Would it be possible for ourselves? Or do you truly have to fully believe in the placebo for it to work?

It was honestly art. That experiment, that piece - deeply inspiring to me. At such a level that it made me completely question the entirety of existence. It put me in a complete "oh fuck, am I going to die" panic-state. Like a... "you just absorbed arcane eldritch knowledge and Cthulhu is pissed" kinda moment. I'm sure being high really helped with that... And when I called my counseling center and asked for an emergency session with my counselor to try and process this extremely scary moment for me the next day, they brought me in to see someone I had never met before who was an intern... and I was the first person she had seen... and she recommended I go to a two-week outpatient program at a mental health facility. And my timid, anxious, "do your work", abuse victim ass actually went. I told my current therapist this and he had his head in his hands the whole time, like "oh god no, oh no you do not do that..." <shrugs>

Not a very happy ending. I know. To be fair though, I learned some very life changing things from the workshops I went to in that program. I mean that wholeheartedly. I learned how not normal my family is. I learned about trauma and abuse. I learned about polyvagal theory and different forms of CBT. I even learned some new forms of yogic practices there. But man, I really wish I learned that shit somewhere else... XD

Back to the moment of... waking up... What that experiment... project... I don't even know what to call it. What it did for me was help me unlock something that I had pretty tightly locked under cynicism and cold, sterile, scientific skepticism. Which... though done under the guise of "science", is very unscientific in its execution... "It" being... the idea that a placebo effect is... somehow not relevant. For example... if I come across this lucky dog statue and my friend tells me the lore that it makes you more lucky and I pet it... and my friend goads me into buying a lottery ticket and I win... It would be blatantly unscientific to say that the dog did not affect the outcome. The simple factor that the belief in luck exists - even if it's not 100% genuine faith, even if it's skeptical - is enough to get someone to try. And if they try, they are eligible for success. If they go "that dog is horseshit", they never try, they guarantee loss. So... if simply having a symbol of good fortune present equates to more confidence, which leads to more "risk-taking", which leads to more fortune... Then can you really say the dog statue does not generate more fortune? I mean, it's a direct chain of events.

It's really hard for me to communicate this concept the way that I currently understand it now. I've tried many times before and people just sorta stare at me like I'm trying to sell them a paperclip or something, I don't know. But what it really unlocked in me was the realization of the incredible power of belief, and hope, and faith. That they have a very direct impact on your experience of life. Through our willingness to participate with life more fully. And... this is something I could really use more of in my life. I could really really really use more... faith. More hope. More confidence. Because I could really use a turn in fortune. And... I think the idea that I could actually create the means to do that, to generate faith and confidence, and subsequently fortune... it was really life changing. It really made me feel like I actually had some agency in my life. It started to make all of the spiritual texts I had feverishly studied as curiosities throughout my life start to... make more sense. And I started exploring again to start piecing things together, with the newfound perspective that symbolism and metaphor are incredibly important, not something to be scoffed at as "just a metaphor".

Back then, I used to be a cynical atheist who kinda really didn't give meaning in the Universe that much thought. I was much more concerned with Me and Now, than anything greater than it. My ex used to compare me to Dr. House, if that gives you an idea. I was witty, I was funny, I was charming in my own way... but I was miserable, and in pain all the time, and crass. Reconnecting with the idea, even just the suggestion that magic... like magic-magic... is actually... real? Just... not the way people think? And in ways that people overlook and diminish every single day. It was revolutionary.

Like this, check this shit out. I got a package today, that Amazon order from a few days ago. I got a set of succulent pots as part of it, I don't like ordering shit from China... mostly because of how much fucking pollution goes into shipping stuff like that across the damn planet, how much waste goes into it... but I caved on this one. And they're cool, I don't wanna shit on it too much. I went and tended to my succulents that I got last winter. These things grew really nicely, and I live in a cold area. They're fucking desert plants. So I'm honestly shocked they did so well sitting right in the windowsill. I pulled two of them and I'm going to try to propagate them. And how you do that... is you just pluck the leaves, you leave them out for a few days for the attached part to callous over and for them to dry out a tad... then you give them a bit of moisture and maybe some substrate to chill in and before you know it... roots and an entire new clone starts growing from where the leaf was attached. Even crazier than that? Moss can do this... with literally any single cell it has. Translating this to human terms, that would be like... someone stole a hair off your head and gave it some water and in 6 months they had a fucking full clone of you. Tell me that shit isn't magic. Tell me that isn't something that would be in a Brothers Grimm fable or some shit.

And people will argue that! People will go... "no, akshually <pushes glasses up> it's not incredible, it's actually very normal and very mundane and I've seen cooler." And you know what? How can I get mad at people for doing that? I used to be one of them!

I think it's a really big part of who I am, and it was a big missing piece in my creative life that I desperately needed to find. And once I did, I started to get inspiration, and direction, and purpose. I needed to share with others how fucking amazing these things are! Just like I shared about the succulents and the moss, which was today's learning adventure. I live for that shit.

Okay, story time over. I hope I did that story justice and I hope I made sense but it's getting fuckin l a t e... So, I'm gonna try to do tarot quickly because I've been on a roll with it.

Past - V: The Wise One, inverted (Spiritual guidance.  Doctrine and tradition.  Connecting with a spiritual group or mentor.) Present - The Hermit, inverted (Soul-searching, introspection.  Moving slow, calm and grounded.  Being still in the midst of a storm.) Future - Queen of Wands (Warm, dedicated, confident, optimistic. Focusing inward to harness creative energy.)

Well this is interesting... two new cards... with this deck, at least.

The beginning of this thread is The Wise One, otherwise called The Hierophant, inverted. And... this has taken form in my life... very literally a few times. In the summer of 2019, about 6 months after that whole waking up and starting to see the magic in the mundane thing, I actually started to commit to seeking out a spiritual community. And I just kept running into snags, really bad fortune. I started to tell a story here and edited it out, I just need to get to bed. So... needless to say, there were several moments like this and I eventually gave up trying to find a spiritual mentor, in fact... I really really could use one still... but now, after so much bad luck... I'm pretty scared to seek one out.

That image, The Wise One in disorder, is connected to The Hermit, also inverted. And... I am a literal hermit. So... it fits, obviously. The inversion? I would say... when the qualities of being a hermit are not... functioning correctly? When it becomes... avoidance? When it's not so much slow grounded movement as it is... freezing or being stuck.

And this is connected to... the Queen of Wands. The nurturing warden of the fire of creativity. I don't even really have anything more to say about the card... XD I was very pleased to see her, it's a very wonderful image and spirit that I would love to embody some day.

So... I'm kinda reading this temporally. Like... this whole... rejection and interruption preventing me from reaching people who could help me cultivate my spirit, my soul. Which... obviously, with my career and my soul, is also directly tied to my art... Those emotional wounds and phobias are causing my hermit phase to... not be what it could be. The Hermit phase is a transformative one, like emerging from a cocoon. And... my fears of being hurt or rejected by mentors... again... for the millionth time... are keeping me stuck. And... if I manage to free myself from that? On the other side is a life that I would very much love. Being wise and confident and warm, and being able to channel creativity more freely, with more ease and comfort.

I like that message. And... I don't think I mentioned this, but I kinda ended my therapy the other day by saying... "I really need a mentor, one in the art field, to just sit down with me and get to know me and help me find a place where I will shine." You know, like literally any of my teachers were supposed to do. And this fully affirms that. I really do think that would be the smartest thing for me. Even smarter than just showing up at an open studio or taking a class or something.

The next step with that? Where to start looking? And what to even look for?... I'll get on that after sleep because it got ridiculously late. Bye!

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of thoughts #stream of consciousness

[call-me-corvid]

I can never go back to my local petsmart

I went in to buy more cat litter, and i was at the counter waiting on the cashier to ring me up, and was giving her my phone number for the rewards, when i looked down and cut off mid-sentence, said “shit me sideways” and then BOOKED it out of the store doing a perfect T 1000 Terminator sprint across the parking lot

The lady before me forgot her phone on the counter. I saw it, saw her halfway to her car, and didnt think twice before sprinting after her. I returned her phone, returned inside, then slapped my card down on the counter and said, while making full eye contact with this poor, bewildered cashier (who, from her perspective, just saw a customer suddenly bolt from the store to sprint a lap in the parking lot for no fucking reason), “I’ll pay for the poop rocks now.”

Because apparently when im panicking i’ll just say whatever comes to mind first.

Im never going back to that petsmart again jesus christ

#i KNEW my sister and i referring to litter as poop rocks was gonna bite me in the ass one day #and also #what the FUCK is ‘shit me sideways’??? #i mean i know what it is #it was me wanting to say ‘fuck me sideways’ #but there were kids at the next lane over #so i tried go clean it up #which apparently means i default go subbing out ‘fuck’ for ‘shit’?????? #listen #im not good at the spontaneous speaking of any sort #so when i have to improv literally ANY part of a conversation with a stranger #then i cannot be held liable for what bullshit comes out of my mouth #story time #pets #i guess

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

who did u romance in DAI?? i usually do the iron bull 😳

Okay, let’s talk DAI romance~

So I finally got into Dragon Age this year. Pi kept trying to talk me into playing it, I kept saying “pssshhhh DA’s for nerds.” 

Funny enough, all it took was gifs of The Iron Bull for me to go “.......and I am a nerd, tell me more of this age of dragons.”

I mean, how could I resist? He's big and he has horns and he's voiced by fucking Freddie Prinze Jr?? He's an entire package and then some, and I was excited to meet him along with the other potential love interests I might find.... oh, and do the whole story thing, hole in the sky, my hand trying to kill me, yada yada, it's fine.

Now I didn’t end up actually romancing Bull- he’s a bit too intense for me, a bit too kinky, there are levels of dom/sub goin’ on there and personally, that’s not really my thing. Still love him, though. One of my favorite companions. He actually ended up in a relationship with Dorian in my game which I 110% support and adore. 

Anyway, for some context, the first time around, I played as a lady qunari rogue named Herah [yes the default name because I'm oh so creative sksks] and got pretty far into it.....then I did a bad and most of my saves got corrupted. I was not happy. 

But before that, I found myself in a romance with Sera.... I know right? Surprising? Totally not my usual type at all. When we were chattin’ as I played, Pi said Sera gave off Chloe Price vibes and that’s true, but Sera isn’t nearly as ugh as Chloe imo...   It’s actually funny to think about now but at the time, of the options I had as a qunari, I found her to be sweet and such a weirdo that I couldn’t help but kinda like her? and she was super into me because she reeeeeeally likes qunari women. 

I dunno how to explain it, but I took a chance on her and it went okay? I think? I mean, everyone but Bull and Varric told me I was dumb for romancing her or they straight up disapproved which.... thanks friends, I feel supported hahaha.  

But then like I said, corrupted saves.... and I decided to start over with a completely different character- a lady elf mage named Ashalle and uhhhh turns out Sera isn’t nearly as warm and sweet with you if you’re an elf.... so I didn’t romance her again after seeing another side to her. I still like her enough, just not romantically. 

As Ashalle I found myself stuck between Solas and Cullen..... because of course I did. That’s apparently a thing with a lot of players and I’m no different! these two dinguses charmed me in their own ways and I couldn’t decide who I wanted to smooch more!

Honestly, poor Pi had to listen to my “I really like Solas.... but I also really like Cullen..... but Solas is a mage like me and Cullen is an ex-templar..... but the mage/templar thing is super interesting and tempting.... but Solas.... but Cullen.... but Solas....... but Cullen-” for hours while trying to help me decide sksksks. 

And looking back now, I couldn’t have picked two characters with such vastly different outcomes to get stuck between. It’s almost hilarious... almost. 

I ended up playing through the first kiss with Solas which got a huge “DAMN” outta me and I thought that was it, y’know? I was like “that was a really good kiss, holy shit.... I dunno how Cullen’s gonna top that”

but then I played chess with Cullen and he didn’t even kiss me but SOMEHOW the bastard got me! I can’t even explain what it was! We’re playing chess, we’re chatting, having a grand ol’ time when I get the option to tell him that we should spend more time together, and this dude looks up surprised, and in such a sincere tone, says, “I would like that.” AND THEN HE LOOKS AWAY AND QUIETLY REAFFIRMS MORE TO HIMSELF THAN ME “....you said that” AND THE LOOK ON HIS FACE??? I WAS DONE

So yeah, I romanced Cullen. Jokes on him, though. He fell in love with a mage who constantly falls off ladders, drowns when the water goes above her knees, and throws jars of bees at dragons, what a nerd. 

No but his stumbling awkwardness and sweet romance out did Solas’ smooth talk and now I can’t romance anyone else. I’m ruined. I’m currently on another run of the game with a new-ish character and I can’t NOT romance Cullen now..... that’s my husband, he’s my canon choice, everyone else I love platonically, they’re my big dumb family of criminals and misfits, I love them all.... mostly, hahaha. 

#asks #non-twdg #dai #the romances in dai are wild sksksks

[husberttee]

A Long Ass Guide To VAV

VAV – Very Awesome Voice

Soooo since there were some people who did like my idea of making a guide like this I thought ‘cool let’s do it!‘ I hope this can help people finde out about them and maybe motivate some of you do give them a listen and some love!

Ok so first some general facts;

They had their debut in 2015 with 6 members under AQ Entertainment, which is now A-Team Entertainment. I’d like to point out here, that this company provides ENGLISH SUBTITLES for us (!!!!) which is pretty damn awesome.The group underwent (is that a word) a couple of lineup changes which I will explain further when I come to the members individually. A Fun facts: they have a pretty big spanish following and were guests on a shit ton of youtube channels

Fanclub: Vampz (debut concept was vampires and werewolves and priests and. Yeeeh.Their debut was actually on Halloween. Supposedly there even was a whole ass webcomic but I never saw any of that, sadly.)

We’ll get to the number one most important part now

THE MEMBERS (in order of age)

1.       St. Van – The Leader

Real Name: Lee Geumhyuk

91 liner

Main vocal (POWER vocal) / Leader

A father

Probably speaks better Mandarin than Jacob / lived more than 10 years in China

Loves Jacob; votes Jacob by default

tries hard and gets dragged for it by the younger members

it was revealed that he likes to watch girl group dances (he said it’s because he needs to learn them to be able to show something at fanmeetings and such. Yeah sure bro me too.)

hear someone laughing in the back? That’s him.

roommates with Baron

embarrassed. Generally.

Completely demolished ACE birthday cake with the help of ZeHan once

Likes cars

can drink a lot of water??

Has sleeve-like tattoo on his shoulder/upper arm

2.       Baron

Real Name: Choi Chunghyeob

92 liner

Vocal

Fake Maknae 0.1 // he’s very cute

somewhat speaks english

Known for serenading a male fan with ‘I need a boy’

Super pretty // sweet voice // very good and underrated dancer // funny --> Real idol material right here

Apparently has ‘apple hips’ which are ‘popular’ among the members. Whatever that may mean…

Likes photography and making films

Plays games first thing in the morning

Talkative

A sunshine // scammed the company into giving him an extra allowance of 1000won in a game and spend it to buy fruit for the members

there’s a 26 second long video of him brushing his teeth on A-Teams official youtube channel (these hoes deleted it)

3.       ACE

Real Name: Jang Wooyoung

92 liner

Vocal

A Mom // currently raising Ayno and Jacob

Probably dating Ziu atm

asks members for reactions when he does things

Practices phonation /articulation in his sleep (super noisy, even people in nearby rooms can hear him)

Talks a lot

Wears sunglasses in the pool aka. will fight you in the pool while wearing sunglasses (swag is better than actually seeing your surroundings)

‘I look thinner with my clothes on’ kinda person // he’s ripped

Really likes sport and working out

The groups elected MC

He always seems to know what he’s doing

Covered Winners ‘Fool’ and it’s amazing his vocals are super beautiful

Mullet

4.       Ayno

Real Name: Noh Yoonho

 96 liner

rapper

Participated in the survival show No.Mercy in which Monsta X was formed, but got eliminated in the final rounds

Joined the group as a new member early 2017

Voted to be the cutest by VAV

Fake Maknae 0.2

Part time grill master (Roasts his members)

*Looks at the camera like he is on the office*

Skilled dancer

Writes his own rap

First reaction after seeing Jacob cry was to lie himself horizontal on his lap as a form of comfort or idk that’s the kinda friend he is

in charge of meme

his ideal type is ACE, apparentely

released a mixtape

5.       Jacob

Real Name: Zhang Peng

96 liner

Sub-Rapper / sub-vocal

Chinese

Quite introverted // worries his members cause they want to share his hard times but they feel like they can’t. What a family T-T

Manly manTM

Had a complete mental breakdown once with ugly sobbing and all after receiving a video letter from VAV

Voted himself visual of the group

Nickname ‘Cob’

Sassy af since he’s started to talk more

Idk but I think he’s rich he always wears expensive looking clothes

In charge of abs and keeping a straight face at all times // has super cute smile actually

‘I stream ‘Venus’ as soon as I get up in the morning’

Accidentally made out with ZeHan at pops in seoul

Got featured in the song ‘Trouble’ by former member XIAO

6.       Lou

Real Name: Kim Hosung

96 liner

rapper

member since 2017

Very confident

Super deep voice

Can speak english

Not having any of anyone’s shit (pls let ur members live)

Maybe a bit mean

Pretends to be manly

Majors in acting

Finds  lot of Joy in making fun of Ziu

Gets lots of affection in return that he absolutely really DOESN’T WANT

His most precious possession is the refrigerator

According to him his closest celebrity friend is James Bond

‘which place would you like to visit where you have never been?’ ‘my house’

7.       Ziu

Real Name: Park Heejun

97 liner

Vocal // I love his vocals byE

joined together with Ayno and Lou in 2017

No homo? Yes homo. (no video goes by without him trying to kiss at least ONE of his members)

King of being fake touched and overreaction

Always gets exposed

Raids the dorm refrigerator at around 5/6AM

Eats while being asleep

Suffers a lot from the maknae position

Ended up being my bias somehow

Cucumber anti

a cheerful fella

_______________________________________

Former / Members on hiatus under the cut further down ~ ____________________________________

That was it so far, but...!

They also have a kind of reality show which is called What’S Up? VAV and it’s very fun so I defintely recomment watching it!! Here is a season 2 playlist

Sadly A-Team deleted / put most videos pre-Venus era on private. Their newer Malaysia Videos are really funny though!!!

______________________________________________

MVs

At first I’d like to point out that their earlier songs had quite low production and it’s noticable sometimes. People found that parts of the songs sounded ‘off’. However, they improved every comeback a lot and as they changed producers for Venus they seriously stepped up their game. They have improved SO MUCH, are still getting better and really work hard!!

Debut - Under The Moonlight

Brotherhood (this mv was so fanfiction worthy actually)

No Doubt

Recollection (the FeelsTM)

Here I Am (winter song jacob no lines still good)

Venus / Dance With Me

Flower (this one is my favourite look at that aesthetic and the song was so good wow)

Middle Of The Night / ABC (a bob)

She’s Mine (a super bob)

Spotlight & Gorgeous (two MVs but kind of a package deal cause they’re basically one comeback)

Give it to me

Senorita

So In Love

Thrilla Killa (this one? slaps.)

I’m Sorry

Give me more' (Feat. De La Ghetto & Play-N-Skillz) (I sometimes watch this ONLY for St.Vans sleeve tattoo)

POISON (MOST RECENT!!! WATCH DIS!! ITS AWESOME!!)

Thanks for making it until here and Please stan VAV

Former Members / Hiatus

I will keep these short since the post is already long AS FUCK and while these members DO appear in many of their past videos (Ateam deleted most of the videos :/), ‘advertising’ them here wouldn’t do much good since you’re not going to see them with the group from now on

Xiao

Chen Xiao

Rapper

89 liner

Went on hiatus in 2016 (it was said he has to take care of his sick father)

He once appeared in a VAV video after he left and spend a day with them; the reunion was very heart warming

he made his solo debut with

Bubblegum

and

Share Ya

his song

Trouble

feat. Jacob

ZeHan

Lee Seungmin

Vocal

94 liner

Left to pursue a career as an actor

Was my bias why must u do dis to me

GyeoUl

Jung Un

Vocal

95 liner

Left to pursue a career as producer

#DONE #AT LAST #I put more effort in this than in my biology A-level #the struggle of husbert #VAV #very awesome voice #st.van #baron #jacob #ace #ayno #yoonho #lou #ziu #vav ace #vav jacob #zehan #xiao #vav xiao #kpop #appreciation post #kpop guide #long post #vav kpop