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#when ppl don’t send u anything
redheadarcher · 9 months
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I'LL BE DOING AN UNFOLLOWING SPREE !
i want to follow & write with every single one of my mutuals but. i’ve come to realize that i’m following a lot of people who just… don’t seem too interested in writing with me. people who never send memes or like starter/plotting calls or never interact with my posts in any way and after a while it does gets a little bit boring to be the only one trying. this is a two way street so if you’ve never showed interest in start anything i’ll most likely unfollow because i’m here to write & develop stuff, not to be just a number.
that said—IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN STILL BEING MUTUALS / WRITE WITH ME, GIVE A LIKE ON THIS POST ! otherwise i’ll mostly likely unfollow. if i unfollow you but you still wanna write, i’m more than okay with following you again
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willowfey · 7 months
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someone tell me to be brave and hit send on this email
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eeunwoo · 8 months
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this is super on brand for me but today I’m experiencing debilitating frustration @ being misunderstood on the internet like some kind of loser 😩
#I’m v open and literally never lie unless it’s needed#so u can see why I struggle with people trying to claim the opposite when they don’t know me. or make assumptions and pass them off as fact#or come to conclusions without asking anyone who would actually know#and if you see some of my posts you’d argue the same about me but the fact is if I post something that could change peoples views about#somebody else .. I check with multiple people who know#that’s why the v@l and her bestie situation was particularly upsetting bc there’s an entire group of people who knows I’m right but. didn’t#say anything in support and just let a bunch of ppl send me anon hate and invent things that aren’t true#and use that situation to fit fake narratives they already thought of before#I’m not dredging it up again I’m just using it as an example#or the anon on my last blog listing a bunch of things about me that they got completely wrong and didn’t bother asking about#and sometimes I always think about clarifying those things in a huge post. but then I remember those people will just find something new to#cling on to. so there’s no point.#but it doesn’t mean it’s not upsetting. you know ?#and it’s not about a single person or anything it’s just. in general.#I’ve been criticised for admitting I’m not perfect and can be an asshole about things and somebody basically said that’s not ok either#so it’s like whatever I do sucks anyway sjdjsdn#and that’s what bothers me I think. that I doubt I’d be shunned and blacklisted as a creator to THIS extent if people took the time to#actually ask me if the things people say are true and what my explanation is#anyways ..#mrow.org
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fujsnfajfjdhdjsbfnsd
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bytebun · 2 years
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ough the horrors ough (basic programming concepts I have forgotten)
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wuahae · 1 year
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ok i say this a lot but i Will make more of an effort to be more active on this blog :”)
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inf3ct3dd · 4 months
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streamer!ellie pt.2
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summary: i hated the other one of this that i made, so REMAKE TIEM!!!
warnings: miiinor sexual content, shit talking, gay people 😒
authors note: heheheh ples don’t flop this time..
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- during her faceless days, she opened up a po box so ppl could send her things, and she made an amazon wishlist and she unboxed stuff on stream 😍😍
- one day she was unboxing a giant box of cat toys. string, those little feather stick things, even that weird automatic flapping fish thing (that she secretly loves and taped to her back one time)
- she was playing with this one toy that was a little fishing reel, and it had string and a little fish on the bottom. she went on and onnn about how shes a self proclaimed “fishing master” while garf chased it around, letting out little meows and growls of frustration.
- eventually, she lost her grip and let go of the pole. she bent down to pick it up, forgetting that her face would be in view. thus, the chat started blowing up.
ewwwbruh: FACE REVEAL
ewwife: EW WE CAN SEE UR FACE
ewwife: JUST THE SIDE BUT WE CAN SEE YOUU
ewssidechick: her nose looks so rideable…
- she got distracted petting garfield, and didn’t realize anything until she stood up. she was getting tagged over and over again on twitter, blurry pictures of her face (curtesy of the shitty webcam) circulating through her subreddit.
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- “guys. im gonna erase this from ur memory…” and she literally held up this goofy ass hypnotizer pendelum and started fake hypnotizing everyone like “that never happenedddd” “you don’t know what i look likeeee” “that was fakeeee” “chat that was not reallll”
- and everyone literally js went along with it and pretended it never happened. like ppl were tweeting about it and everyone was like “huh??? what are u talking about bruh??”
- she did the same thing after falling off her rainbow unicorn scooter 😞
- one time she revealed that the “ew” in her username stood for her initials, and everyone was making the most horrendous guesses. elliam willace being the favorite one.
- “guys, my name is not edward wilson??? i am…not a man”
- shes gotten into so much drama…multiple notes app apologies have been issued via her instagram story.
- people would ask her opinions on other streamers, and she’d literally just be like “…i have no idea who that is.” and people would get so MADDDD but homegirl is literally just blatantly unaware
- or she would know , and would literally be like “they’re honestly super annoying and i would rather kill myself than watch them but whatever floats ur boat ig!”
- she played that “womp womp womp womppp” sound effect on her soundboard afterwards.
- SPEAKING OF. she abuses that soundboard sooo much. its so obnoxious and annoying like I SWEARRR!!! she’ll tell a horrible pun and play the crowd laughing and cheering sound effects while literally no one laughed.
“guys. whats the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament??”
“…live streaming.”
(crowd cheering sound effect)
“nooo thank you thank you, you’re all too kind, really!!”
- meanwhile chat was dead silent.
- every time she gets to choose her own name on a game its some dumb shit like "jizzmaster" or "chris fucker"
- “it appears you have entered innapropriate content.” “OHHH LOOK AT EPISODE LOOK AT THESE CORPORATE BIGWIGS TRYING TO CONTROL THE LITTLE MAN???”
- she just ended up naming him “chris phucker”
- like when she played episode on stream and made up really annoying voices for all the characters and made her character look like an elderly man, and made the love interest look like you 😍😍
- she messes up sm on games when she streams normally, but when you're there? she is LOCKED THE FUCK IN. sitting there so focused the entire time just to show off
- whenever she randomly goes silent she just starts SINGING. it's either nicki minaj or some fucking fnaf song
"IS THIS THE THANKS THAT I GET FOR PUTTING U BITCHES ON???"
- speaking of, her favorite fnaf song is def “stay calm” cuz she loves saying “hey kids. Nice to eat ya.”
- bought one of those "i paused my game to be here" tshirts…ironically. you refuse to let her wear it in public
- beefs w kids on fortnite sm... she has definitely gotten banned for saying she was gonna bomb a kids house or fuck their mom 😞
- every time she plays a game, she'll literally sit there and watch an 8 hour long video about the lore. she'll plop down on the couch and watch it like a movie
"did you know everyone actually thought that fnaf one took place in 1993, but it was actually 1992?"
- she definitely had you sit next to her when she played through fnaf because she was lowk scared the entire time whenever she heard you walking around the house while she was playing she'd hear footsteps in the hallway and be like. WHAT THE FUCKKK
-she'd have you right next to her, laying your head on her shoulder and messing with her free hand. if you fell asleep, she would be sitting there slapping her hand over her mouth whenever she gets jumpscared bc she doesn't want you to wake up 😞
- sometimes, while she streams , she plays one handed games and lets you sit and draw on her arm for fun. even got you a whole set of those skin markers so u could go ABSOLUTELY HAM. she got one drawing you did that said “r + e 4eva” tattooed in ur handwriting…such a sap
- she loves watching fan edits of herself...AND OF YOU. she'll be on her burner account with a whole collection on tiktok of edits of you.
ewwsbiggestfan: shes so bad i want her to hit me w her car...
- speaking of. imagine her using that account to make shitty capcut edits of you like
- shes ur biggest fan ongod
-WHILE WE’RE ON THE TOPIC OF “fans”…what if i made a completely new origin story for streamer!ellie and reader. what if they were both streamers….
- OKAY SO BASICALLY.
- you had started streaming about a year before ellie did. butttt, you two did very different types of streaming.
- you weren’t very into like, SERIOUS video games. sure, you played some stuff, like animal crossing and roblox and the sims, but nothing more than that.
- that wasn’t what you were streaming though.
- ever since you were younger, you had been wayyyy into…literature.
-by literature i mean fanfiction. heaps of it.
- actors, anime characters, BOOK CHARACTERS, you were in DEEP
- sometimes, for fun, you used to read them out loud in stupid voices. when you were alone, or with your friends, it was very entertaining
- that’s when you got the idea to start streaming it. if it could entertain your friends, and you, whos to say it wouldn’t entertain other people.
- well, it definitely did. in your first year, you hit 10k followers. people loved you. theyd make edits of you, send in requests of fics for you to read, everything.
- a while later, ellie started gaining more and more popularity. out of all the incomes of fame, fanfiction was the most. abundant!
- one day, you got a request to read an ellie x reader fic. at the time, you barely had any idea who she was, but you decided to just go with it 🤞🏽
- “who the fuck is elliam willace???”
- the fanfic was definitely very…graphic!
- “your hips rolled onto her thigh, her slender, tattooed hand palming at your waist. ‘you’re doing so good babe, fuck.’-“ “GUYS. ISN’T SHE NOT ON MUTE RIGHT NOW???”
- you couldn’t help but giggle the rest of the fic, feeling a nagging heat in your core. you didn’t even know who the girl was, but if this fic was accurate, someone would have to sedate you.
-“im actually. gnawing at the iron bars of my enclosure. GUYS. who is this woman…is she real… if she is. things are about to get WICKED.”
- not very thankful to you at the moment, she was very real. apparently, you and her were streaming at the same time, and your followers raided her stream telling her she was reading about you. her curiosity was obviously piqued, and why would she NOT join the stream?
- creeperewman: im definitely real!
- the text on your screen literally made your stomach fall into your ass. you stood up and legit just walked out of the room, camera still on. was she there the whole time???
- creeperewman: aww 😞 where’d she go she’s so badddd
- you eventually returned after a minute of calming yourself down, and low and behold, she gifted you 100 subs and followed you on instagram.
- she was definitely very real!! and that fanfic was…lore accurate. to say the least 😊
- after you two started dating, the two of you would often show up on eachothers streams. ellie, teaching you how to play cod, and you, reading with her.
- she secretly loves reading the fics people write about her and making fun of them, and every time you stream with her shes “subtly” hinting that you should read about her
sitting there pulling on her collar, looking away like “gee, wonder who you’re gonna pick today” with the worst fake laugh ever.
- “ellie can barely ride a scooter, idk why she’s in the mafia rn…” “you fall off ONE TIME and all of a sudden you cant ride a scooter. bullshit.”
- she makes fun of all the dumb pet names like “babygirl” and “darling” and randomly calls you them and bursts out laughing
- you still read those fics when you’re bored sometimes. and ellie MERCILESSLY makes fun of you for it
“yknow, if you missed me that bad, you should’ve just told me.”
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lunarw0rks · 7 months
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SPICY CALL OF DUTY TWT LINKS! 18+
( turn y’all phones down before y’all get in trouble )
price.
https://x.com/46___suki/status/1706019900114784337?s=20
gaz.
https://x.com/BLOSGU/status/1701445730911596733?s=20
ghost.
https://x.com/BLOSGU/status/1701083443981963385?s=20 this is very fucking filthy.
könig.
https://x.com/BLOSGU/status/1701989917088178249?s=20 …jesus fucking christ.
BONUS! threesome w alejandro & valeria.
https://x.com/46___suki/status/1705346483858416110?s=20
a/n: you have to be logged into twitter for the links to work (if it says they don’t exist or whatever) also these are literal porn. do what anon said and lower ur volume!!
feel free to send more, fellow depraved ppl! <3
PRICE — definitely not thinking of him using his big arms to pin you in place or anything…….
he’s the type to pin u down with just his hips and how harshly they’re thrusting… any position; on top it’s his large hands controlling every move you make. and you literally can’t move. not that you want to
//
GAZ — i picture him rarely being a headpusher/throat fucking. it’s preferable for kyle to watch you work, maybe guide you a bit as you give him a blowjob.
it’s like the vid; a supporting hand, praising you while he’s moving your hair out of the way, wiping tears, etc…
//
GHOST — messy sex w/ simon >>
that tidiness about him; gone instantly. he doesn’t mind the stained sheets, or when he’s filled you so many times you’re seeping his cum. it just makes cleanup all the more fun. (a.k.a fingering every drop back into you)
//
KÖNIG — as i said with price, but all the more extreme. unlike the captain, the colonel with use his whole body to pin you down. even if he’s being gentle the air is knocked out of you.
so rough; probably about 300lbs of man slamming into you? be prepared…
//
VALERIA & ALEJANDRO — one of the few times valeria is ever “submissive” if it could even be called that. she rarely kneels for ale (or any man), and only does for you when she’s eating you out.
but when you’re being shared? passed around? no… you’re being owned by them. cum worship for both of them>> and alejandro forcing you to share it, take turns giving head to each other. and you, you’re not allowed to waste a drop.
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luvhughes43 · 3 months
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so it goes | jack hughes
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[journalist!au masterlist⭐️]
the previous part is linked here !
word count: 6.5k
jack hughes had thin curtains. you would think that a 22 year old millionaire would invest in good curtains, but alas here you were. the sun shone into his room, and you could do nothing but groan as rays of warm light illuminated your face and his. 
you swore jack was a cat with how completely unbothered he was all the time. he’d happily lay and soak up the sun, not bothering to twist away from the light now encasing the room. you look over to your daughter, who slept exactly like her father. leighton was sprawled out on her back, completely content as the sun shone off her.  
“you need better curtains,” you mumble, too awake now to fall back asleep. jack snores lightly in response, and so you move to drape one of leightons baby blankets over the top of her bassinet to help shield her from the light. 
“where u goi-ing?” jack's speech is slurred, and you watch with butterflies as he stretches out across his bed and paws at the empty space where you once were resting. It felt wrong to want him. nothing had happened last night, and yet you were wanting him as if it were two years ago and you hadn’t broken up with him. you wish one of you had been smarter and been the first one to pick up the phone. 
speaking of phones, you pick up yours only to see a slew of messages from friends. you click on claudia's first, and your heart immediately drops.
claudia: i think vivienne was talking about you and jack on her podcast??
claudia: idk she said Jack may have cheated and now ppl are going crazyy
claudia: this is genuinely insane when I catch vivienne…
you: did she mention my name?? did she say anything about leighton ?
you wander out into the kitchen, perching on an island stool with your lip between your teeth. 
claudia: link
claudia: no she didn’t drop names but people are digging. some of jack's fans on twitter are putting the pieces together and speculating that you're the ex but it hasn’t gotten out yet. 
you: wtf
as soon as you send the last message your phone rings with a call. “hello?” 
“what are we going to do about this?” claudia's voice rings out through my speaker and you hastily turn the volume down. 
“well, there's not much that I can do right now”
“uh, you can sue her ass! hello!” 
“sue her for what?
“i don’t know… defamation?” you put claudia on speaker and then swipe up on the call. you do a quick search on twitter, and by screenshots and transcripts it's clear the podcast was solely focuses on jack and whether or not he cheated. “i’m not going to sue her,” you sigh and claudia groans in annoyance. 
“why not?”
you take a second and pause, “well if i sue her everybody would know that i was the ex and also, i don’t even think there’s legal grounds for-”
“okay jack can sue,”
“i don’t think anyone needs to sue,” you reply, setting your phone on the countertop so that you can make yourself a coffee. hopefully jack had some pain meds because your head was starting to throb…
“i’ll talk to Jack about it, but things like this go away. i’m not going to risk leighton getting exposed to crazy fans and to be subjected to vivienne's publicity”
“vivienne has already damaged that little girl's life,”
“and so I'm not going to let her do anything else! if vivienne speaks on leighton then i'll look into my legal options. but no, i'm not going to let her get any more of my time. i need to focus on my daughter, and my family, so if some influencer wants to go on the internet spreading lies then so be it! i’m done with her. I can’t handle any more than i already have,”
claudia's silent on the line and for a brief second you're afraid she’s hung up the phone. “claudia…?”
“she’s going to get her karma. she can’t be let off the hook forever”
“oh, trust she will. but i’m not going to have a hand in it,”
⋆ ★
vivienne
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liked by oliviajade, alisha, alix_earle, and 267 092 others
vivienne as promised… some exciting things are coming your guys’ way! follow viv212 to stay in the loop! 💆🏼‍♀️🍾
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oliviajade cant waittt!! <3
alisha youre stunnninggg ! cant wait to have you on the pod!❤️
user01 ahh so excited to see what u have in store viv!!
user02 we know what u did!!!
user03 ?
user02 don't question me.
claudiasphotos posted 2 years ago !
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Liked by ynuser, jackhughes, and 581 others
claudiasphotos yn 📸🥂
tagged: ynuser
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ynuser love you!!! thank you for the incredible photos🫶
jackhughes ❤️‍🔥
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user04 jacks heart?? the tag?? is this his ex gf
user05 wait what
user06 claudia is yn’s friend! they both follow each other
user05 maybe yn just modelled?
user07 how tf did u guys find this acc? Im crying there's no way😭😭
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⋆ ★
when jack found out about the podcast episode he was beyond pissed off. vivienne telling everyone that he was a cheater was one thing, but spreading those lies knowing that she helped keep him away from his daughter… he had never felt rage quite like it. 
“i’m getting lawyers involved,” is all jack says to yn when he passes her phone back to her. “i don't want her speaking about us ever again,” jack’s voice is steady and firm. 
“what are you asking the lawyers to do?” 
“sue her, make her take down the video, i don't know they’ll find something,” jack rambles, pulling out his own phone from his pocket.
“i just want to make sure that she doesn’t speak about leighton,” you say, deliberately choosing not to say vivienne's name.
jack looks away from his phone to make eye contact with you. “i swear i’ll make sure of it,” 
“thank you,” you respond simply, cradling your head in the palm of your hand. when was this nightmare going to end. 
⋆ ★
“you’ve got to take the video down,” viviennes manager, louis reiterates for the tenth time. 
“well, no” vivienne sasses as she scrolls through her social blade. “it’s pulling in insane numbers i’m not taking it down because of one complaint,”
“lawsuit, it’s a lawsuit vivienne” louis sighs, cursing himself for even taking influencers on as clients. 
vivienne sighs dramatically. “i dated jack for months, the video should be my compensation”
“his lawyers want you to sign an NDA,” 
“well i’m not signing or taking down anything,” 
theres a tense silence for a minute before louis groans in frustration. “he doesn’t want you talking about his kids,”
“kid. singular. he only has the one,” 
“can you stop being difficult? you’re going to lose more money than you’ll gain if you don’t just settle with jack. delete the video, and sign the NDA that his lawyers are going to send over,”
“but-”
“but nothing! your brand is dropping next week. if you delete the video now people will be tuned into your next moves,” louis explains his business plan, even though he’s mentally cursing vivienne in his mind. 
“fine.” vivienne stubbornly admits defeat as she switches off her social blade and logs into her podcast channel. 
⋆ ★
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⋆ ★
it was the beginning of december now, and jack’s schedule has picked back up now that he was back to playing. as well as the busy schedule, vivienne had finally signed the NDA jacks lawyers had sent over, and with her podcast episode scrubbed from the internet all was well for the moment. 
on jack’s days off it wasn’t uncommon to find him at his ex-girlfriends place, which is why when y/n got off work she didn’t bat an eye that jack was chilling on her couch with their baby in his arms. 
“did you pay the babysitter?” you ask absentmindedly as you shrug off your coat and let your work bag drop to the ground. 
“yes i did! isn’t that right leighton? daddy paid the sitter?” jack coos, eyes never straying from the little girl in his arms. leighton giggles loudly, her little hands smacking at her dads cheeks who grins in delight. 
“thank you!” you call out as you round towards the kitchen. “are you staying for dinner?”
jack gets up off the couch and settles himself in the kitchen. leightons little hand grips at her dads shirt, the other tugging on his finger. “do you mind?”
“no,” you reply softly, and when you look up from the pantry you catch eyes with jacks. you immediately feel delighted and delirious at the sight of him (looking handsome) with your girl resting happily in his hold. “leighton, do you want daddy to stay for dinner?” 
“dada!” leighton squeaks, and both yours and jack’s heads whip towards the small girl. 
“did you just say dada?” jack giggles, his face lit up with pure joy.
“dada!” she says again, wiggling in his grasp. 
you gasp, “our baby’s first word!” and rush to be by jack’s side. he looks up at you fondly before using one of his arms to bring you closer to his side. “leighton! say it again, say dada!”
leighton doesn’t respond this time, just giggling happily at her parents' happy words and sounds of encouragement. “she said my name,” jack whispers sappily, and when you look at his face you see tears line his eyes. 
“she knows who her daddy is,” you smile tearfully, leaning your head against jack’s who leans his against your chest. 
“i’m so happy i get to know her,” jack’s voice is quiet as he gazes at his daughter. he still wasn’t over the fact that he missed your pregnancy and the first few months of leightons life, but hearing his daughter call for him certainly helps ease some of the sadness. 
you don’t reply to jack’s comment, knowing that there’s nothing in the world that you can say that would erase any of the past. so instead you brush your hand through jack’s hair, and enjoy the happy moment. 
⋆ ★
vivienne
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liked by viv212, alixearle, and 137 008 others
vivienne so beyond excited to announce that my haircare brand viv212, is being released next friday! please follow the viv212 account for updates, posts, and product info before the first launch! i love you guys so much! mwah <3
tagged: viv212
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alixearle loveeeee
alexandracooper Cannot waitt!!
user08 AHH VIV!! <33 
user09 saving up as we speak🫂
user10 another influencer brand… we do NOT care!!
⋆ ★
jack’s voice rings out through your phone's speaker, his face half in view as he brushes his teeth and gets ready for bed. you guys were just talking nonsense now - you had both put your daughter to bed a long time ago but jack didn’t get off facetime like you had expected him to. 
you were both distracted which if claudia asks, is your excuse for staying on facetime with him so late. because really, you were catching up on work and it just so happens that jack was talking to you in the background. 
“do you think if i started reading now then my brain power would double?” jack asks absentmindedly through a mouth full of toothpaste. he spits, “quinns doing it and he says he feels smarter. but i don't know,” 
“i don't know about double… but it’d definitely help!” you tease, looking up from your mounds of documents to catch jack pouting at you. 
“that's kind of mean!” he replies as he rinses off his tooth brush. “but whatever, what are you doing for the holidays?” 
you watch silently as jack pulls his phone off the hotel bathroom counter, and tosses it on his bed. you stare at his hotel room ceiling as you reply, “my parents are going on vacation so i’m just gonna stay here. do you have any plans?” 
jack picks up his phone - shirt noticeably gone - before he settles himself in his bed. “my family’s gonna fly in to jersey. quinn’s coming too. it’s just easier with our schedules and luke and i being here already,” he responds, and you nod along to his words. you missed the hughes family. they were so unlike your family growing up. their parents were present and not always gone for work, and it felt so nice to be around siblings who weren’t constantly at each other’s throats. 
“that’s really nice,” you hum. “i have a few days off during your break. you should pick a date when we’re both free for your family to meet leighton,” 
“mom’s so excited,” jack chuckles. “i keep sending her photos and videos but it’s never enough,” 
“your mom’s so sweet,” you smile, leaning your head in your palm as you look at jack. “she texts me everyday just to check in and wish me well,” 
jack smiles back, and you would pay any amount to know what he was thinking. “quinn’s excited too. luke keeps teasing him about how he met the baby first,” 
you roll your eyes - that was such a luke thing to do - and before you can reply there's a sharp succession of knocks at your door. 
“are you expecting someone…?” jack asks with a frown, and you shake your head. 
“not that i know off… one second,” you walk towards the front door and if you had brought your phone with you you would have seen the worry and concern etched on jacks face. 
you look through your doors peephole, before shouting a quick, “it’s just claudia!” which causes jack to visibly relax. 
“just claudia” the woman in question mimics as you finally open the door. “who are you talking to,” 
“jack,” you reply, and claudia rolls her eyes dramatically as she pulls her shoes off and wanders over to your phone. 
she waves at jack, before telling him that you have to hang up. you barely get a good-bye in when she’s hanging up the call and turning towards you with a grin. “you're still talking to jack? at 9:30pm on a monday…” she teases, and takes your spot at the counter. 
“we were putting leighton to bed!” you refute, ignoring the knowing looks your best friend was sending your way. 
“uh-huh,” she shakes her head. “you’re unbelievable!” 
“no i’m not! that’s my daughter's father! who, by the way… was her first word,” 
“yah yah, if auntie c were easier to pronounce she’d call my name first,” claudia laughs before composing herself. “but seriously y/n, you guys broke up for a reason. you can’t just forget all about that now that you see him with the baby,” 
“i’m not getting back together with him! it’s different now. we’re just friends,” you defend pathetically, knowing very well that you were already re-developing feelings for your ex. 
“i just want you to be careful,” claudia stresses, grabbing a hold of your hands and pulling you into the chair next to her. 
“i wasn’t in the right headspace last time. i was insecure and i-”
“he was still liking other people’s posts and staring down models babe, just be careful please,” claudia reiterates. 
you nod, knowing that she was ultimately right. “we have better communication now. we’ve grown,” 
 “whatever you say!” claudia wraps up the conversation, before diving into the reason she actually came over. “okay, but i logged into my photography account and people are starting to connect the dots that you’re, well… you”
“what do you mean?” you question, picking up all of your work documents and placing them back in your bag. 
“there’s a few instagram comments speculating. jack left a heart comment on one of my posts about you when you were still dating, and his fans have just found it now. do you want me to go private? delete the comments? i don't know,” claudia explains, pulling up her photography instagram and scrolling through the comment section of said posts. 
you think for a minute, before responding simply, “keep it up, i don’t really care”. claudia nods and logs out of the account. 
⋆ ★
drama.alert 
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liked by trevorzegras, and 11 913 others
drama.alert people have finally received their viv212 hair products after a massive delay in shipment, and unfortunately the product is causing their hair to fallout :/ despite being asked to comment, vivienne nor her team have responded to the accusations. not the best way to start a brand is it? what are you guy’s thoughts?
tagged: vivienne, viv212
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user11 whoever buys haircare from an influencer deserves it lowkey🤷‍♀️
user12 yikesss😬 looks like the products were rushed and there wasn’t a lot of time to get the formula right… i hope everyone who lost hair grows it back quickly. what a shame. 
user13 i honestly can’t believe she hasn't spoken up yet. the people who bought her products were all fans so this is just soo disappointing. she better apologize and start refunding people soon or she’s going to lose A LOT of loyal fans and viewers. 
user14 YUP! this! and did u see the pr reviews? lotss of acting going on lol. you can tell that nobody likes the products and it's obvious as to why! very messy and not good at all. 
user15 trevor? wtf are you doing here??😭
user16 he stands on business
user17 trevor is so damn messy liking this im cryingg
user18 who tf is trevor?
user17 jacks best friend lol 
user18 ohh that's so nasty..😭
vivienne
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vivienne i hope u guys are loving all the products! let me know if u guys got anything💐
tagged: viv212
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viv212 😍😍✨
user19 yeah girl we did get products… AND NOW MY HAIR HAS STARTED TO FALL OUT!
user20 this is so out of touch. you’ve ruined so many peoples hair!! apologize!!!
user20 youve really shown ur true colours lol.
user21 posting this as if u haven't ruined so many of ur fans hair… wow..
user22 ignore all the hate viv! I know u just haven't seen the reviews! take all the time u need to respond <3
user23 bffr she's just money hungry and dgaf if she ruins her fans hair for money. shes weird af
⋆ ★
if you thought work was rough before - with all the bad articles you were given- you weren’t prepared for what was waiting for you on monday. after a peaceful weekend with your babygirl and your best friend claudia, the last thing you were expecting was to receive the worst case you’d ever been assigned. 
“y/n, we need you to cover social media drama today,” your boss had said. there were a million headlines rushing through your mind, from small scandals to non-disclosure disputes, you hadn’t even considered you’d be assigned to write about… viviennes new brand. 
“i mean, are you fucking kidding me?” you whisper-shout to claudia through the phone. you were pacing inside the girl’s washroom, disbelief written across all your features as you stare perplexed at the folder in your hand. “her brand is making peoples hair fall out. and i have to write about it… this is a joke. this actually can’t be real,”
“are you even allowed to write about her? with jack’s NDA and everything?” claudia asks from the bathroom stall at her work. 
“i mean, it was just about leighton and my identity, and the whole jack cheating thing, i don’t think it applies to this,” you're beyond stressing. the story had to be finished by lunch and here you were, pacing the bathroom borderline having a panic attack. “i think i’m going to pass out,” 
“okay breathe! breathe!” claudia's voice was loud and clear on the other line. “you’re just going to write the article with indifference, and everythings going to be fine!” 
“indifference? she fucking kept jack from finding out about our baby and harassed me?” you seethe, stopping in front of the sink to splash your face with some water. “this article is going to be so biased,”
“regardless of your history, she's an asshole. i mean she’s literally causing people’s hair to fall out,” claudia states, flushing so her coworkers don’t get suspicious of her long bathroom break. 
“i’m just going to write it and i’ll call jack once he's out of practice,” you settle, knowing there is really no way out of your work. even if you told your boss you had a history with vivienne and that there was going to be bias, they wouldn’t care. they just wanted the story posted so they’d garner as many clicks as possible since it was going viral right now. 
“okay, good luck! love you,” claudia says her goodbyes, and with a quick i love you back, you hang up on your best friend and prepare to write. 
⋆ ★
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you had called jack after his practice, but with the articles deadline hastily approaching there was nothing you could do to delay writing the article. jack of course understands, offering a quick, “i’m sure she won’t read it anyway,” before he was called back into whatever a hockey job required on the daily. 
once the article was published on the newspaper's website, and vivienne hadn’t outright harassed you, you take a deep relieved breath before continuing with the rest of your day. 
⋆ ★
of course, vivienne the lurker had seen y/ns article about her hair products. she’s seen every little message and video about the whole situation, and so as tempting as it is to find y/ns number and send her a… compromising video of jack, she resisted. instead, she took her anger out on her manager who insisted she sign an NDA in the first place. 
“you made me sign that stupid document! now i can’t even say anything about her! she's slandering my name and brand!” vivienne yells, fuming as she paces around her office. her manager, who was sitting on one of her chairs, rolls his eyes. 
“you wouldn’t be able to say anything regardless of the NDA. you know you’re in the wrong with the whole, y/n-jack-baby situation. and plus, lashing out at journalists won’t do you any good when you post your apology,”
“it's not fair!” vivienne whines. “what am i supposed to do? she’s just going to get away with this?”
“your interns and i have worked up a statement for you to record. you should probably try and get ahead of this now before it's too late,” her manager finishes, placing a small packet of papers on vivienne's desk. 
“whatever,” she huffs stubbornly, leafing through the small apology packet. 
⋆ ★
after a rough two weeks, it was finally time for the rest of the hughes family to meet baby leighton. ellen and jim were beyond ecstatic, carrying armloads of gifts for their granddaughters first holiday season. 
the family comes to visit after leightons nap, so for the grand reveal you sit the family down in your living room and bring your daughter to them. “awh… she’s so sweet!” ellen immediately starts to tear up as you slowly place the tired baby in her arms. “leighton baby,” she coos, finger tracing leightons little nose as the baby looks up at her. “she looks just like jack when he wa a baby,” 
“she’s perfect, guys,” jim speaks next, gently holding little leightons hand in his larger one. 
quinn sits quietly just taking in the sweet moment. he remembers the night jack first called him, panicked and lost about the whole situation. he was just so glad everything was working out for his younger brother, and to see jack become a father? it was surreal. 
“i don’t think i want to let her go,” ellen laughs softly as tears spill down her face. jack discretely wipes away his own stray tears as he watches his parents fall in love with his daughter. 
“that’s how i felt when i first met her too,” jack laughs weakly as he presses the corner of his sleeve into the corner of his eyes. you stand close behind him, rubbing his back comfortingly and he leans into your touch. every time you were reminded of what happened, you felt such a strong pang of guilt. like it was somehow your fault that jack didn’t get to experience the pregnancy, birth, and first few months of his baby’s life. 
ellen passes the baby to her husband, and then slowly makes her way over to you. she holds out her arms, and you easily walk into them. “you did so good,” she says, and all of your feelings bubble to the surface as you softly cry. 
“i’m really sorry,” you whisper to her and she only holds you tighter. “i should've tried harder - i thought that he didn't want to be in her life,” you gasp through your tears. ellen squeezes you and whispers reassuringly in your ear. she was always so kind to you and it made you feel sick sometimes - this family loves so thoroughly and effortlessly, something you missed from your own parents. 
when your calm enough, you remove yourself from ellens arms. jim was now cuddling leighton and quinn was leaning over his shoulder. luke was teasing jack about something, having already met leighton a long time ago. when jack notices you're no longer hugging his mom, he grabs hold of your hand and gently soothes his thumb across the back of your hand. 
you spend the rest of the evening in your apartment surrounded by family. 
⋆ ★
ynuser
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Liked by jackhughes, trevorzegras, claudia, and others
ynuser leightons first holiday season🥹🤍
tagged: jackhughes
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jackhughes to many more!❤️
colecaufield did you get the gifts i sent? 
ynuser yes! leighton loves all the habs merch!
jackhughes but she loves the devils more!
trevorzegras cant wait to meet her!❤️
_quinnhughes lee is the cutest!❤️
claudia loveee😭😭🫶
user1 happy holiday sweetheart! 
jackhughes added to his close friends! 
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⋆ ★
after viviennes less than impressive apology, her fans quickly gave up on the star. people who were only invested in vivienne for the jack hughes drama, grew bored, and angry fans were boycotting viviennes videos and social media platforms to show the influencer their disappointment with her behaviour. she lost thousands of followers, and she was absolutely pissed off. 
behind the scenes, her friend emily was fuming. vivienne had promised her a shoutout on her pages in order to boast the girls social blade, and with all the recent drama vivienne kept pushing the dates. so, emily did what she thought was best.
REDDIT SNARK PAGE
user455595654: vivienne aiden sent nasty messages to jack’s ex girlfriend while she was dating him from random instagram accounts. here are some of the tamer ones lol. she drunkenly confessed to me one night and i got her to send me ss to keep as collateral incase she fucks things up as usual. so there's that
jack hated you so bad that he couldn't stand being a father to his child... and you know that he wants to be a dad in the future. gonna make him a dad and send u the pics. know ur worth nothing
he never wanteddd you... and know he doesnt want his baby
happy birthday to your baby! thought i'd send u a message since we know jack's not.
crazy that you get to look at your babygirl and know that she was abandoned. probably hurts
he's all up on me :)
⋆ ★
“did you want to take any of the clothes leightons got for your house?” you ask jack as you fold leightons laundry. jack’s family and friends went a little overboard with the gifts, and so now you were left with dozens of little onesies and clothes in various different team styles. 
jack glances over at you and nods, and you can’t help but wonder what’s got him so distracted. he’s barely taken his eyes off his phone in the past half-hour, and even though it was none of your business you were starting to worry. 
“do you have any preference?” you follow up, hoping to get at least a response. 
“uh,” jack tears his eyes away from his phone and takes a deep breath. “i’ll uh, whatever you think,”
you sit in silence for a moment, thumbing quietly through your daughter's pile of clothes before deciding to question jack. “okay, what’s going on is there-”
“did uh, did vivienne…” you pale immediately at his words as your heart starts racing. “the messages she sent you uh,”
“what-”
“someone posted them online and i just - they got sent to me and i need you to confirm if they’re real of if someones just fucking around,” jack finishes shakily, and you sit in shock as he passes his phone over to you with unsteady hands. 
there were so many messages, each taking you back to when you first received them. you remember the panic each time a new one came in, how you kept blocking viviennes accounts and how a new one always replaced it. you nod slowly, and jack breathes in. 
“i’m going to- i-” he stutters, cluelessly trying to piece together a coherent plan. 
you pass his phone back, and slowly focus your gaze onto jack. his hands are trembling, and his jaw keeps clenching as he scrambles to make sense of what he’s been reading. “why didn’t you tell me it was this bad?”
“i’m sorry,” your voice is quiet and jack has to strain his ears to hear you. the familiar pang of guilt wells up in you again and you so desperately wish that you had just told jack the full truth. that there were dozens of more messages, and that you had been receiving them for much longer than you had let on. that you received instagram follow requests from accounts impersonating your coworkers and friends in attempts to bait you to accept them. you knew vivienne was borderline stalking you, but you didn’t want to worry jack further. you witnessed his reaction to the first batch of messages, how he gagged and cried and blamed himself. you shouldn’t have hid the rest from him, but you didn’t want to be the one to expose him to all the hurtful things you were dealing with. you wanted to put an end to the past and to move on, but it seemed vivienne and whoever was in her close circle were determined to keep you hooked and battered. 
“is there anything else? i want to know everything,” jack replies, his hands twisting together as he fidgets. you nod slowly, and jack looks sick with worry as you beckon him to sit down.
you take a deep breath before pulling out your phone. you still had all of viviennes messages saved in your dm requests, and you click on one of her burner accounts. “she uh, sent me these pictures after i had given birth,” you explain with a shaky voice. when you pass over your phone, jack sees all the lewd pictures his ex had sent to you. pictures of the two of them, cropped so you couldn't make out the faces but it was still so blindingly obvious. some of the pictures were tame, jacks back to the camera as he cooked with a simple caption “he’s so sweet to me❤️”. others not so much - dark lingerie, jacks hands wrapped around viviennes body and cupping her boobs. a picture of his head resting against her naked chest, her hand buried in his hair. it went on and on, all with annoying captions talking about how he was hers and that he didn’t want a family. 
the worst picture though was of an unused pregnancy test sitting in the palm of viviennes hand, “he’ll love our baby!❤️” . 
it took awhile to go through everything, and jack sat unusually quiet as he switches between different message threads. “i, i don’t know what to do,” jack admits after you had showed him everything. 
“there’s nothing that you can do,” you reply simply.
“i didn’t get her pregnant,” he states, completely disregarding your reply. “she was just being cruel and trying to bait you or something-”
“jack i know-”
“and you know that if i knew about leighton i wouldn't have abandoned her, and those pictures, i didn’t know she was taking half of them let alone sending them to you, i just-”
you place a hand on jacks arm, silently urging him to stop explaining. “i know,” 
“i’m just- learning about all of this for the first time-” 
you let your hand trail down jack’s arm, and then you slip your hand into his. you squeeze twice, and then run your thumb along the width of his hand - a habit you picked up when the two of you were dating. jack squeezes back. 
you don’t have time to say anything else before leightons soft cries spill out of the baby monitor. “da-da,” she whines, and when you turn to look at the monitor you see her thrashing around in her crib. 
“i’ll get her,” jack says with a gentle tone as he squeezes your hand one more time. 
you cuddle into your throw blanket, completely and mentally exhausted from the night's events when you hear jack’s soft voice through the monitor. 
“i’m always gonna be here for you okay? dada will always be here,” 
“i love you my sweet girl, always.”
 ⋆ ★
he had liked her. he had actually liked vivienne when they were together and the thought makes him feel sick. 
jack had first met her two months after his breakup with y/n. it was way too soon in his opinion - but his teammates were relentless and tired of his moping around. so, instead of picking up the phone and dialing y/ns number he had agreed to meet the girl everyone seemed to think would be a good match for him. and she was at first, it was simple and there were no complicated feelings. jack didn’t promise to be anything, and vivienne was fine with that. there was no pressure to stay hidden, they went out and had fun. not that y/n didn't go out, but there was a clear difference between both girls and jack wasn’t mad about it. 
that didn’t stop him from thinking about y/n though. he still had a photo album dedicated to their pictures together, and he still had her favourite music neatly organized in one of his playlists. he never deleted the list of her favourite things from his phone, never unpinned the addresses of the new museums, art galleries, and coffee shops they wanted to try. jack hadn't done anything at all, instead he let himself drift and he found some comfort in a girl he wasn’t sure he even understood properly because really, there were two sides to vivienne aiden and jack didn't have a strong grasp on either. 
now that he was with y/n again, or at least raising their daughter together, he can’t help but feel the urge to get to know her again. he wanted to do everything a boyfriend would do, but the timing was always wrong. they were parents first now, and it was way too soon to start a relationship up again. 
plus, they broke up for a reason. jack would be the first person to admit that he was in the wrong. liking other girl’s picks and lingering on girls in public… meanwhile he had the most amazing girl he’d ever met on his arm. he felt like such a fucking idiot, and ruminating on those facts on the drive back to new jersey seemed like a constant these days. his communication was awful too, not apologizing and not realizing the problems sooner. now he faced those consequences, driving an hour each way to spend time with his daughter. he should be there all the time, or they should be here - whatever. 
traffic stalled, and jack sat in uncomfortable silence. no depressing country song would even come close to how awful he was feeling right now. then when he got home he’d be faced with luke and his family, all doped up on all the quality time they were fortunate enough to scrape together between everyone's busy schedules. he was so tired, and everything just seemed to keep piling up. he didn’t want to hide anymore, he was tired of vivienne dictating his life and making y/n feel awful. 
therefore a week later with your permission and before jack boarded his flight for his roadie, he posted a simple but effective instagram post. 
jackhughes 
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liked by trevorzegras, colecaufield, dawson1417, and 361 299 others
jackhughes baby’s first holiday season❤️
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trevorzegras does she love the duck teddies i sent?
colecaufield little love bug🐞
dawson1417 my best girl !
_alexturcotte dads a dad🫡
holtz_10 bring her to the rink when were back
_quinnhughes best duo💯
lhughes_06 tell everyone who her favourite uncle is (it's me)
nicohischier happy holidays!❤️🎄
user24 WHAT THE FUCK?????
user25 JACK?? DAD??? IM SO CONFUSED WTF
user26 this has to be a joke
user27 im crying so hard is he actually a dad?? this is my worst nightmare omfg
user28 congrats on the baby hughes! being a father is hard work but its rewarding!
user29 who’s the mom??? vivienne?? 
user30 no its 1000% his ex. look jacks name up on twitter and you’ll find all the threads!
user31 omg… 
user32 im in disbelief i think i passed out what the ..
user33 this HAS to be yns baby omfg. If u compare the backgrounds of these photos it’s literall her apartment
user34 ? how tf do u know what her apartment looks like?
user33 it’s the same background in her friends pics of her
user34 that sounds genuinely psychotic im sorry!
user35 DAD JACK DAD JACK DAD JACK
everything had already gone viral with vivienne, and there was nothing else for jack to add to the public speculations aside from be truthful. so he worked behind the scenes to protect his family, and made it known he wasn’t hiding or playing anymore. 
vivienne got what she deserved, and her career would surely be over with the massive amount of hate she received, and jack knew it too. the countless voicemails she left told him enough, and with every swift delete and the final press of the block button - he felt a massive weight lift of his chest.
-
-
-
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ardourie · 29 days
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ok cool ig im name dropping then, u are literally making up headcanons about me based on fucking nothing, i didn’t exclusively focus on the flaws of white trans people over cis white people if u actually read anything i posted instead of believing anons randomly accusing me of things you’d see my only issue is white people like YOU because you are white
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watering down the impact of racism and pretending that it isn’t as harmful when coming from queer people as if being queer is an inherently purifying or redeemable action, this website is overwhelmingly trans, our circles are majority trans, getting into disagreements with trans people on here is going to happen bc of how many queer people there are on this platform, if the only people you claim i harassed are users like ratliker i don’t want to fucking hear it, i’ve been having people call me a terf for years bc of standing up to her racism and black genocide denial, every single fucking time someone on here does something racist and a brown person points it out ppl around you run to call them transphobic, like ur doing right now! the second sentence of her post literally says i deserve to be called a terf for just talking about the racism happening on the poll, she said that HERSELF
i said hussie has done racist acts and has racism in their comic, that doesn’t make hussie evil or fans of it evil it just means we should actually acknowledge its there and not have viral post going around claiming that none of what hussie did was that bad bc they’re trans and if ur bothered by it ur automatically transphobic, as if that isn’t an incredibly fucked up thing to say, bc u said that urself on ur blog multiple times, here’s my original and ONLY post that made someone go and tell plaidos i sent death threats when that wasn’t remotely what i was saying
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plaidos posted this ask that immediately had ppl in my inbox calling me a terf and bigot for harassing a trans girl (hussie) and saying im a horrible person for sending death threats when i NEVER did that, had no reason to, and hussie isn’t even ON tumblr to do that
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she also stated that she meant i “started” the death threats instead of sending them which is still a fucking lie bc the poll that i was referencing was posted FOUR days ago and has ppl fighting and talking about death threats about hussie before i even knew it fucking existed, and she would know bc she was arguing under the post four days ago HERSELF
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how did i start death threats on a post i didnt find out about until 4 days after people were fighting under it? how the fuck does that work?
she then went on to slip up and reveal that she subconsciously thinks the queer community is only white bc when ppl complain about white queers they r complaining about latent racism, bc brown people exist in ur community and acting like poc criticizing white people (who will always be white no matter the other identities they have) means u hate queers is racist as hell
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shit like THIS is what hussie was doing on a constant basis
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these are just two examples you could google “homestuck racism” and find much more my only point that i ever made is that it’s insensitive and fucked up to act like anyone who doesn’t like or even hates homestuck for its racism is a transphobe or evil instead possibly someone deeply affected by hussies racism, and plaidos was under the original poll post i referenced arguing with black people calling them liars for saying hussie is racist and has antiblackness in his work:
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if you recognize hussie is racist and has racism in their work why the fuck are you arguing with black people about that fact? why are you pretending people are lying and making up rumors when hussies racism has been a known fact for a literal decade at this point, hussie was quite literally responsible for a boom in antiblack racism online in the early internet you cannot be so dense as to not acknowledge this, and i want to clarify im literally a homestuck fan, homestuck meant so much to me as a kid, and bc of that i know that online spaces for homestuck treated black people like absolute shit for complaining about the racism, i was bullied and harassed so much for even being upset at characters in the comic using the n word or mocking black people, im criticizing it bc i care about it being such a large phenomenon responsible for the normalization of my oppression.
not going over the homestuck racism workshop thing bc u ppl r being purposefully obtuse and i already talked about it here
if you don’t believe me, please go ask the people accusing me of these things for screenshots of me sending death threats, ask them to show that i have no transfem friends, ask them to show it bc every fucking time theirs never any proof, stop believing ask u read about me with no proof stop believing rumors, put urself in the shoes of others, would you want hundreds of ppl sharing post saying you did something you didn’t fucking do with no proof? ask yourself why you don’t see many black people speak out on racism on here and ask urself if maybe it might correlate to how we get demonized for it, if you think callout culture is bad why participate in it in a way where you don’t even have photo evidence backing for what your sharing
lastly, u people keep going on and on about the company i keep but are the same ones cropping out the trans girls im friends with and constantly talking to on my blog, you did it with the last situation regarding aaron bushnell you did it with the previous pregnancy callout, yall literally accuse every trans girl around me of being self hating or theyfabs, random trans women who simply shared my opinion have been harassed and accused of being sock puppets, i have a whole post about that in my pinned, but u don’t care, it’s easier to make me a scape goat and deflect criticisms of racism despite you being white and unaffected than it is to simply go “yeah some people are gonna hate media that has racism in it and that isn’t indicative of anything other than hating racism” your fucking white, can we be serious right now, you published ask saying i was sending death threats to hussie when that never happened and accused me of starting the anger on a poll i never reblogged that a bunch of my trans girl mutuals were complaining about 16 hours ago, so which is it? transfem opinions matter to you or they don’t? bc it seems like u just pick a fucking choose which girls to listen to and like randomly going after black people for not liking antiblack racism
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rreids · 11 days
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hey, i was wondering if you'd be able to write smth with Spencer in a relationship with someone with bpd? it's totally okay if you're not comfy with that, but I've just been suspecting i may have it, and ppl with bpd are always portrayed so negatively in relationships. it would be just rly nice to read ur take on how Spencer would handle that and just see some positive representation! (my mental health has also been shit so it would be p comforting lol) thank u 🫶
hi love 🫶 i don't know a ton about bpd, so i hope i did this justice! i researched the diagnosis and how healthy relationships help with regulation and in what ways they do (both accounts from experts and from those who are diagnosed). and i hope you feel better soon <3 it sucks when your mind fights against you.
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PROMISES • S. REID X READER
reader has bpd (written by an author without, ideally will be comforting rather than hurtful. please let me know if it is offensive in any way); gn!reader; spencer has to break a small promise but makes others; talks of therapy; teasing; fluff; ~500 words
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“Hey, sweetheart,” Spencer whispers into the phone, voice a little strained. “I’m really, really sorry, but I can’t make lunch today. We’re on the way to a case in Omaha. It’s a really bad one.”
Your heart sinks. “Oh.”
“You know I want to be there more than anything, right?” He’s shuffling papers in the background, and you know they’re in the middle of getting ready on the jet and that he’s still making time for you, but it still makes your mind race with worry and upset. “I’ve been looking forward to it all week. And I promise I’ll take you out as soon as we’re back.”
You frown, fiddling with the promise ring on your finger. “Will you still talk to me?”
Spencer chuckles. “I think I go insane when I go too long without hearing your voice. As long as you don’t mind calls when it’s two a.m. there, I’m calling before bed every night I have enough time.”
You sigh.
“I know, honey. When’s your next meeting with your therapist?”
“Tomorrow,” you mumble, gnawing on your lip.
“Well, you have permission to talk about how much I suck,” Spencer teases lightly. “As long as you know it’s not by choice that I’m being a bad boyfriend.”
“You’re not a bad boyfriend.”
“Yeah?” You can hear the smile in his voice.
“You’re the best boyfriend. You understand me.” He does. He’s looked into BPD extensively — he knows even more than you do, rattling off statistics, assumed causes and connections, coping methods, everything. He knows how to break you out of the spirals and to calm your impulsivities.
“You have other boyfriends?” Spencer sighs dramatically, and you laugh.
“Why would I have them? You’re more than enough.”
Spencer hums. “I am, aren’t I?” 
You groan.
“I’m messing with you,” his voice is fond and soft. “I gotta hang up, everyone’s coming and we need all our focus on this case. Message me if you need anything. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t.”
“You don’t do anything,” you know you’re exaggerating, but it’s hard to stop the words.
“I do, just nothing out of our normal,” he’s nudging you gently, reminding you to think things through before acting impulsively. “I give you permission to watch our show without me if it’ll keep you entertained.”
You laugh. “Okay, okay. Fine. I’ll be good,” you draw it out.
Spencer snorts. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Spence.”
A beat.
“I’m not actually going to talk shit about you to my therapist, just so you know. I do talk about you though.”
And then you hang up. 
He sends you a ‘???’ and a ‘I wanted to say something still.’ right after. When you tell him to say it, he sends a ‘Do what you need to feel regulated. I don’t take it to heart, you know I don’t.’
And he doesn’t. He’s so sweet, so achingly perfect, understanding of when your moods swing, or when you feel empty, or whenever anything changes and you can’t tell why. 
And he always helps you down, kissing scars and tears and whispering praise as he gets you to feel right again.
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azulera · 10 months
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Rashy noticing that's something has been wrong with you for the last few weeks and you just won't tell him and he's stressing trying to figure it out
azulera
Don’t Leave Me Alone
Pairing: Marcus Rashford x Black Reader
Words: 3.5k
Notes: ngl recent events have made me not even want to post but i already had this done and as i said, i do value that ppl like my writing enough to send requests. so here is this! hope u like it anon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They'd picked the summer time to move in, late May to be exact, and Marcus was sure it was the smartest decision he’d ever been a part of. The prem season was ended, Y/N was out for the semester, they both had at least five weeks free to travel and relax, and there’d be no cold for the mover’s fingers to go blue in. The transporting itself had gone smoothly, each of her things finding its place in the huge expanse of his house, and the past month and a half of eating, sleeping and waking next to each other had been as nearest to perfect as Marcus thought life might get. So he couldn’t explain what, in the last seven days, could have possibly gone wrong.
“Is everythin alright, love?” He asked over the dinner table, which was sanded wood and brought over from Y/N’s apartment, much smaller than the one he’d used before.
She looked up from her plate and blinked. “Do you mean about dinner? I think I finally got the potatoes right this time, yeah.”
“No, not the food.” The side of his mouth lifted. “You’ve just seemed a bit down, this week, I don’t know. Just wanted to ask, see if there was anythin buggin you?”
“Oh,” She passed a hand over her hair. “Just tired, I guess. It was a rough semester.”
“Yeah, it was – you smashed it, though. But,” He paused until she looked at him, and was immediately taken by her brown eyes, which, unreadable as they were, he’d always found incredibly beautiful. “If anything’s wrong, you can tell me. I’d want to help.”
“Mhm.” She replied, and flitted her eyes away, pushing up from the table. “Let’s clean up?”
He nodded, though he wasn’t convinced, and stood up to take their few dishes to the kitchen. They rinsed and loaded in a silence not as comfortable as it ought to have been, and soon finished, Y/N pausing in front of the rumbling machine. From behind, Marcus pulled her into an embrace, fitting his hands around her waist and mumbling into her neck.
“Wanna come cuddle wi’me for a bit? We can watch the next Narcos.”
He felt her take a deep breath, and then lightly pat the hand that held her.
“I’ve got a little headache, actually. Think m’gonna lay down for the night.”
Marcus frowned. “You want me to watch the next episode? Without you?”
“Yeah, go ahead – I’ll get caught up when you’re on your trip next week. I’d just really like to lay down.”
Fatigue colored her voice, and Marcus felt a little more sure that she really was just under the weather, and not anything worse.
“D’you want me to bring you tea? Water? Medicine?”
She shook her head “no”, and turned around, another sigh hitting the fabric of his t-shirt.
“S’alright, then. Hope you get feeling better, babe.” He leaned in, pressed a kiss to her forehead, and then two to the dark spirals of her hair. “I’ll be up in a bit. I love you.”
A near silent “thank you” left her lips, and she squeezed his hand once. And then Marcus was left in the kitchen alone.
~~
After a mild pre-season session the next day, Marcus skipped showering to go straight to his car. When he’d seen her that morning, Y/N had still seemed poorly – she hadn’t left bed for tea and breakfast with him, and no silly texts or memes had come into his phone, the way they usually did during his long hours of training. Leaving now, he'd felt a strange, strong urge to get to her, like the sooner he did, the sooner things would go back to normal.
When he keyed into the house, however, her usual lounging spot – in the center of the living room sectional – was empty. As were the kitchen, bedroom, gym and laundry room that he walked to after. He found her instead on the back patio, cuddled into herself on the sunbed, with her curls spread wild and loose about her shoulders. A book was opened up and settled on her knees, and a pile of crumpled tissues sat just to her right.
“Hey, was lookin for you.”
The jitters that assailed him finally began to slow as he approached her, but didn’t fade completely.
“What’s all these for? You wasn’t crying, were you?”
“No, no, not really. It’s just this book. It’s pretty sad.” She tried to laugh at herself, but the sound came out wet and dull. “Or maybe I’m just dramatic.”
A range of emotions swept over him as he considered her pink, puffy eyes, the way she still wouldn’t hold his gaze for too long. His anxiety flared again, but he continued on with the plan he’d devised in the car, hopeful that it might still work.
“Well, I’m just about to run a bath, didn’t have time to shower after training. It could cheer you up, maybe. Did you wanna join me?”
It’s something special they do, just for them, a quiet and closeness involved that Marcus enjoyed far more than he’d ever said aloud. He hoped it would be enough to break through the wall he felt sprouting between them.
“But you’re all sweaty.” She said flatly.
He sucked his teeth, and sat alongside her on the thin mattress.
“That never stopped you before? When we were squeezed up in the one at your flat.”
“Right.” Her face fell, suddenly, as if she’d remembered something unpleasant. “But I’ve already showered, actually, a bit ago. Went out for a run.”
“That never stopped you before, either” Marcus wanted to say but didn’t, and focused instead on fixing his face to not reveal his disappointment.
“Okay.” He stalled a moment, weighing his next move. “Babe, are you sure everything is okay with you? M’a bit worried–”
“It’s fine, Marcus. It’s going to be fine, just …” She closed her eyes, and they glistened when they opened, focused seriously on his own. “I’m fine. Just stop pushing it, please.”
She gathered her book and trash and walked back into the house, which hurt him, but her last sentences hurt worse. If he wasn't meant to push, then what could he do? Sitting back and watching her pull further and further away from him was tortuous and seemed the opposite of what a good partner should do. Still, he nodded, even though she had already gone, and let his head fall into his hands.
A few hours later, in the bath, the jacuzzi jets going but alone, nothing was as it should have been. Already he missed the slide of her wet skin against his, how the brown of it went faintly pink the hotter she ran the water, which was scalding enough by Marcus’ standards. Now it felt lukewarm at best, the bubbles even less fluorescent, less bubbly than usual, without her there to scoop handfuls of them to paste on his face and chest, making herself giggle and cleaning their bodies in the process. He missed that, too, he realized, her body – it’s softness and strength, and how easily it yielded and came alive under his hands, but more concerning was her mind, which was somewhere outside its optimal state, and seemingly getting worse by the day.
He leaned his head back against the tub’s edge and sighed. It was a soft sound, quickly lost among the hum of the jets and the noise of his muscles singing and thanking him, but then he heard something else. Crying. Quiet, choked-off sobs from the other side of the en suite door, that he knew Y/N was trying to hide, but didn’t know why. The sound alone carved a hole deeper in his chest.
Before he realized it, he’d risen from the bath, shampoo still in his hair, and pushed open the door to their bedroom.
Squinting through the dark, Marcus could tell she was in the bed, asleep, or at least pretending to be. He debated whether or not to wake her – his every instinct begged him to, but the noise of tears had stopped, and he’d been specifically, harshly instructed not to “push”.
He waited several moments anyway, eyeing her sleeping form, burning up inside, but when she didn’t budge, he stepped back into the bathroom, mindful of the growing puddle he’d created on the carpet.
Under the shower head, he rinsed his hair and dried off, putting on his lotion and moisturizer in record time, all the while his mind racing, trying to settle the unease twisting up his chest and throat. When he got to the bedroom, he set his alarm and settled in under the covers behind her, as close as he dared.
Though her breaths came and went evenly, something in him, maybe something of his own creation, told him she was awake, that she could hear him. He felt free to unburden himself, and say what he wanted her to know.
“M’here for you, Y/N.” He used one arm to hold her against his chest, and the other to fix her hair scarf where it had ridden up in the back. “Hope you know that. Whatever it is, we can … fix it, talk about it, at least, together. Love you ... don’t wanna lose you.”
He knew the words were true, and could feel their sincerity aching somewhere deep in his bones. But he feared he was running out of ways to make sure Y/N believed it, too.
~~
By the following day, Marcus decided “not pushing” was no longer a viable option. Y/N was gone from bed even before him, and he turned to his night-table to find a message saying she’d gone out for an early run again and to get coffee. It wasn’t a strange occurrence on its own, but the way the last few days had gone, weeks really, this latest change to their patterns was enough to set him on a nervous edge. All through the day, his head was gone, drifting and distracted while training, and his thoughts sprinting to the worst - Y/N wanted to move out, she wanted to break up with him – in any moment he had idle.
But when his third check-in text sent from the rain-wet bed of the physio suite went unanswered, as did the two facetime call requests, it became slightly harder for him to breathe. The PT scrunched his face, but Marcus didn’t explain, wasn’t sure he’d be able to speak if he tried, and he’d been forced through two rounds of deep breathing before he’d let him off the table.
As soon as the gaffer released them, Marcus raced home through the rain that had begun to pour, calling one more time to no avail, but trying to stay rational. He imagined her sat in her spot on the big sofa in the sitting room when he arrived, apologetic and with some perfectly logical story of what had kept her from her phone all day, and what had depressed her mood the past few weeks.
He opened the front door, however, to silence, and her car keys still gone. His stomach dropped, and an icy, despairing prickle crawled over his skin. Was he overreacting? Or should he have pushed more?
Somehow he knew the rest of the house and even the back porch would be empty, just as silent, and found himself climbing the stairs anyway. His legs stopped by the room he used as his office, and he threw himself into the desk chair. He felt more calm, serious in there, for some reason, and composed himself enough to check her location, which was inconclusive, and click her contact another time. It went to voicemail once again, and he cursed, pulling at his hair.
After one heavy, frantic beat, he picked up the phone again to dial the only other number that would be useful at a time like this. The call picked up on the second ring.
“Mum?”
~~
Marcus’ car had been in the driveway when you pulled up, but when you stepped into his house – your house, now – there wasn’t any trace of him. Late afternoon training usually left him in the kitchen or theater room, scarfing down whatever meals his nutritionist prepared before conking out in his-your bed for a few hours until dinner.
You checked your phone, which had been dead up until the last five minutes when you’d connected it to the car charger, and realized it was closer to dinner time than you’d thought.
Dropping off your raincoat and bag, you went in search of him. The blaring missed calls and texts deserved a response, as hard as it would be to face him in person. You didn’t want him to worry any more than he already did, even though you felt there was little, if anything, he could do.
“Marcus?” You called up the stairs, but there was only your footsteps, the patter of rain, in answer.
You began climbing anyway, sure the sounds of the house would lead you to him, and eventually heard his voice, muffled through the closed door of his office. You stopped, and leaned against the wall to listen.
“She won’t talk to me, mum, she won’t, I’ve tried everythin. She’s not physically hurt, no, but something is wrong. I know that much. It’s like she don’t even want to be around me.”
There was a pause, and an ache began in your chest. The distress in your partner’s voice was palpable.
“But I’ve gave her space. And I’ve even asked her up front what’s wrong, and still nothin. I'm leavin for my trip in a few days, and I won’t be able to fix anythin from there. Reckon she might even be gone by then.”
Each second you listened, you fell further and further into the mire of guilt, and it seemed impossible to get out. Some external force, whose name or origin you didn’t know, forced your hand onto the knob and pushed into the room.
You met his eyes, cautious, but found nothing but relief, unshed tears in them.
“Y/N. Baby.” His voice cracked around the words, and he flew to your side of the room, crushing you to his body, burying his face in your damp hair.
“Are you hurt? Are you okay? Where were you?”
You tried, but couldn't speak around the lump in your throat. All you wanted was for him to hold you again, and to apologize for everything.
“Y/N. You’ve gotta talk to me, please. M’goin mad here, I’ve been goin mad–”
“I’m okay, Marcus. I’m not hurt.” You squeezed at his hands, trying to loosen their tight grip around your back and also trying to ground him. “Went for my run and coffee like I said, and then around to visit my mates at my old flat. My phone died, and I didn’t realize. I should’ve known you would worry.”
He looked back at you with wide eyes still, nodding slow like it was taking serious effort to comprehend the words leaving your mouth.
“I’m okay, baby. I promise.”
When he finally spoke, his voice was gravelly, but much quieter, and none of the terror gone from it.
“Y/N, look, know you asked me not to push, but I can't just do nothin while–”
“Wait, Marcus – can we sit and do this? Please. And you’ve gotta get out of this jacket, babe, it’s soaked. You’ll catch a cold.”
The familiar sound of your fussing seemed to center him further, and he slid the jacket off, settling stiffly on the futon along the opposite wall. His legs were spread wide, and he raised his hands to his knees, fingers digging into them.
Hesitantly, you followed, standing between his legs, watching his eyes, which you’d missed, and his lips, which you’d possibly missed even more. You paused before lowering yourself onto his knee.
“Is this okay?”
“‘Course” He breathed out, pulling you the rest of the way down and rubbing his hands gently up and down your back. It was the first moment you’d felt at ease in the last two weeks, and you took the time to just hug him, wiping at a drop of water puddled along his hairline. Gradually, everything that had been pent-up seemed much easier to face.
“I’ve been real distant the past weeks, haven’t I.”
“Yeah.”
“It’s cause I’ve been confused.”
“Confused about what?”
The intensity of his eyes suddenly became too much, and you pressed your cheek against his shoulder. You made sure your voice still reached him clear.
“Confused about my feelings. About us, about us living together.”
His stomach had gone cold with dread again, but you took the silence as a license to continue. You knew he would stop you if and when he’d heard enough.
“It’s been great, it really has, Marcus. You’re my favorite person to be around – you know that.” His insides smiled at the mention, since the past week had convinced him of the opposite. Still, his expression remained the same.
“And you seemed so happy, having me here. But sometimes, lately, it got — I don’t know, overwhelming? Like, I had my friends in my last flat with me, and it feels like I spend so much time here alone. When you’re here, I don’t feel like that, but that don't feel fair to you either.”
He bit his lip. “I don’t understand.”
“I know, it’s confusing, but it’s like, I’m used to my roommates, us all together, a lot of noise – even when you’re alone you’re not really alone. So whenever you get here, I want to recreate that, spend every second with you, if I can. Didn’t want you to think I was clinging, though? ‘Cause I know how that feels, too.” You paused to take a breath, and Marcus rubbed your back, silent encouragement to continue.
“Thought you should be able to come home and spend your time on your own, too, if that’s what you wanted. So I was moping, but trying to give you that, for a while. Thought that if I could give you some space until your trip next week, I’d be okay. I could use that week to get myself together, stop being ungrateful. ‘Cause I am so lucky, aren’t I? To be able to live with this person I love so much. But I guess I only made it worse.”
“So it’s findin a balance, then, that was hard. Findin ... where you and I, personal time ends, and where “us” time begins.” Marcus summarized.
There was an unspoken “Why didn’t you just say so?” at the back of his statement that your partner was too kind and too patient to say. But you deserved it, so you said it yourself.
“Exactly. But I should have told you that it was eating me up. Not tried to isolate myself, or shut you out. And I’m sorry, about that. ”
Marcus let the apology ring out, and laced the fingers of one of your hands together, a quiet absolution. You felt lighter, now, after having spoken your piece, but knew that didn’t mean the conservation was over.
“Don’t think I need to say I forgive you, because,” He leaned his chin into his palm thoughtfully, before looking up at you. “Because I really get it, you know. I do. I understand that you need your own space, to feel like your own person still. And also that I’m gone, and it’s just you here, a lot, which is new for you. I get that it’s overwhelming, that findin the balance bit. But– I’ve never done this, moved in with someone before, either, have I? It’s excitin, but it’s a lot of other emotions, too. You can’t assume how m’feeling, or how I want to spend my time, just like I can’t read your mind about what's got you upset, innit?”
He paused.
“And it’s like, we’ve gotta figure it out together, don’t we?”
You nodded.
“So when -if, you’re feelin like that again, you’ll tell me? Even if you think it’ll hurt my feelings, or whatever. And if you need to go spend extra time with your mates to feel alright, we’ll sort it. And I’ll do the same. Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
"You promise?"
You promised, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, and chin against his head. With the most difficult part of the conversation over, your senses opened up enough beyond Marcus to notice that the sound of rain outside had ceased. The wet, grassy smell of his training kit finally entered your nose, and your good humor began to stretch its legs.
“So I don’t need to go pack my things?” You mumbled into his shoulder.
“No.” Marcus snorted. “Not unless you changed your mind the last 15 seconds.”
“Nah, I reckon I’ll stay. I'd miss the jacuzzi tub too much.” You sighed. “Saying no to that bath with you was the hardest thing I ever done.”
Marcus chuckled, enough air in his chest to do so now, and kissed you lightly on the lips.
“Fancy one now?” He repeated, and your “please” was fast and enthusiastic. He scooped you in his arms, and you held tight to him, murmuring quiet “I love you”s and knowing as you walked through the house –your house– that you were exactly where you were meant to be.
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softxsuki · 6 months
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Last time I requested was a whiiiile ago. I try not to request ppl too often bc I save them for urgent, I’m that one anon who asked u to write the human trafficking toman thing. I’d like to register myself as 🐈 anon if that’s available, if not then 🐈‍⬛. Anyways urgent request pls, hope you don’t mind, maybe Karasuno team reactions to learning their manager is out of school bc of a suicide attempt?? Idk if you write for haikyuu as teams so sorry 😭 if not maybe just Kenma on his own? Tysm in advance 😭
Kenma Finds Out You Tried Taking Your Own Life
mentions of sui*ide, don't read if that will trigger you pls
Pairing: Kenma x Gn!Reader
Warnings: mentions of attempting to take your own life, hospital, worrying, embarrassment
Genre: Comfort?
Post-Type: Headcanons
Word Count: 430
Summary: In which you're Nekoma's manager and attempt to take your own life and Kenma finds out
[A/N: Hey! I remember you and yes ofc you can be 🐈anon! <3 Hope this gives you some comfort. I only write for certain ppl in Karasuno, not as a team, so I went with the Kenma one. Hope that's okay!]
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Kenma:
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This is the most anyone has ever seen Kenma react to anything before; his usual stoic expression goes pale and visible worry takes over his features
Practice is a disaster since all he can think about is you. Whether you were okay and wondering why you tried to take your own life…he was scared
It gets so bad that Kuroo ends up sending him home so he can relax, but whispers in his ear that he should go visit you in the hospital where they were monitoring you for a while until they thought you were stable enough to go back home
He’s hesitant at first, but knows he won’t be able to focus until he can see with his own two eyes that you are okay
So he takes a trip to the hospital, stopping on the way for some snacks he knows you like and some flowers in hopes that they will brighten your day, but he's beyond nervous. What will he say when he sees you? What if you don’t want him there? Yet he still pushes forward and walks to your room
You’re slightly embarrassed when you see Kenma walk into your room; you were Nekoma’s manager, yet here you were in bed after attempting to take your own life, but you try and meet his eyes, grateful that he took the time out of his day to see you
He’s a little awkward and doesn’t exactly know what to say other than keep you updated on how practice is going
“I…I just want to say that we really appreciate you as our manager. We wouldn’t have been able to get as far as we have without you, so please, stick around with us”
It’s simple and doesn’t exactly address what you attempted to do to yourself, but it hits deep and makes you tear up a bit as you nod in agreement
Kenma was there to support you, not judge you and you could clearly see that in his eyes as he treated you like always, despite how fast his heart was beating and the relief that went through him when he saw you smile
After visiting you, he continues to visit you everyday after practice and is even able to focus a little better, which the rest of Nekoma are relieved about–they can’t have their setter messing up
But things finally go back to normal when you return as their manager and they throw you a huge welcome back party, showing you just how much they truly appreciate you, especially Kenma
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REGULAR REQUESTS ARE OPEN
Posted: 11/12/2023
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josibunn · 29 days
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say whatever bull shit u want about the other anons message but they're right. you claim to be a bleak woman but ur banner is a white woman, you write about a white man and there is no proof that you actually like your kind of ppl. get mad and say what you want, but it has to be said.
alright. this is getting repetitive now and i’m about to get genuinely angry😭when have I even given the idea that i’m a white women. show me. I literally have said nigga TOO MANY TIMES on my account I even have a post where I say NIGGA in big and bold. so you’re immediately wrong.
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second off, aside from the fact I say nigga not only do I have MYSELF as my profile picture, I have that IM A BLACK WOMAN BEFORE ANYTHING IN MY BIO
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AND I HAVE PICTURES OF MYSELF IN MY MASTERLIST
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and hey if you’re REALLY skeptical that i’m faking it you can go to my fucking instagram it’s always public idrc.
now to the banner? are you fucking stupid it’s lana del rey get from under whatever rock you’re hiding from. my account is clearly following an aesthetic stop being fucking dumb. to say I don’t “appear” as a black woman is so fucking insane and incredibly stupid and ignorant bc it’s literally all over my account. I have MULTIPLE fanfics made where I depict the reader as a black woman at times gtfo my face dude. you’d have to be PURPOSEFULLY skipping over that factor, atp you’re REACHING.
second, THE FUCK yeah I wrote about a white man on my masterlist it literally states
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THAT I CURRENTLY, WRITE FOR RORY CULKIN. A WHITE MAN. SO IM GONNA CONTINUE WRITING FOR RORY CULKIN.
and last thing, the I don’t have to prove myself to you, my “bLaCkNeSs” to fucking anybody. remember you don’t fucking know me, i’m just a girl on the internet you have no fucking idea who or what I like. “my kind of people” are you joking is this a bit?? do you realize I don’t have to fucking write at all? that I do it for FREE and that I LIKE IT??
the fact you’re fucking anonymous tells me all I have to know bc i’m for damn sure you wouldn’t come to me as a person about this bullshit.
you guys are so done.
atp if you want something anonymous you might just have to either send it to me through dms(always always open!) and i’ll just won’t disclose your @ bc i’m so sick of the bs. maybe i’ll open up my actual anon tab back soon. I love all my friends here and everyone who actually enjoys my writing and can look past someone’s race this is such fucking bullshit.
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otaku553 · 4 months
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I recall you mentioning once that you worked in a lab, do u have any advice for getting to that point? I want (read: NEED) to work or intern at a lab but I don’t rlly know what to ask the ppl running them lol
If I can help I'd be glad to!! Full disclaimer though, I am an undergrad junior and I go to school at a pretty reputable research institution so I may not be that much help because I've been pretty lucky and privileged to have direct access to many opportunities. If you're not a high schooler or undergrad student, my advice might not even apply to you at all. This got quite long, so I'll put this under a read more. If you have any more questions, feel free to dm me!
I don't know what your research interests are or what level of schooling you're at so I'll try my best to be broad. You're right that it's best to directly ask the person running the lab, the principal investigator (PI). Even if there's an official application process for fellowships or summer research grants or programs, usually already having reached out to a mentor is either a requirement or strongly encouraged. This applies for both university labs and I think rseearch agency labs like NIH, though I will say, a lot more of my advice will apply to labs at universities.
Understandably, though, it's really difficult to write that email, and quite disheartening that usually you'll need to write multiple emails to different PIs before even getting a reply back. One way to deal with this is to find a template online to copy, because word for word these emails usually go
"Hello [so and so], My name is [so and so] and I'm [brief introduction]. I'm interested in [what research this lab does] and was wondering if you have any positions available in your lab for [period you want to do internship during]. If you need them, my resume and transcript are attached. Thank you for your time."
You can delve into more specifcs in the body but it doesn't need to be long-- I think PIs tend to be quite busy, so being concise and direct is good, as long as you're genuine about what you're interested in. It doesn't need to be an essay or multiple paragraphs or anything! I find that usually 3-4 sentences suffices. If they want to know more, they'll usually ask to meet to talk about what you're interested in.
(On a side note, my roommate has an excellent strategy for dealing with anxiety when sending an email where you recite "fuck it we ball fuck it we ball fuck it we ball" while clicking send lmao)
Now, more specifically, if you're already attending a college that has labs, and professors who are PIs of those labs, it can be useful to take a class that the PI teaches and email either while taking the class or after the class and say "this class was very interesting and i was hoping to explore [so and so] further. Do you have any openings in your lab etc." If you don't have the time to do this, just cold-emailing the lab is usually fine too, but it's good to cite a connection I think? Also keep an eye out for any presentations or seminars that might be given by grad students or professors, since going to those can be a good way to express interest.
If you're a high schooler, you won't have the immediate connection, but I think most researchers would be impressed with the initiative to reach out and have no reason to refuse help. You might have a harder time finding a paid internship as a high schooler, but even with volunteering you can definitely get a foot into the door with research experience. I think a good way to start for high schoolers is looking into local university labs and expressing an interest in their work? Or reaching out to alumni of your school to ask for general advice and or opportunities.
If you don't receive an email back, you can send a follow up in two or three days. Sometimes emails can get pushed to the bottom of the inbox before they're seen, and it's no harm to just bump it again, with a little "hello! I wasn't sure if you'd seen this email. I'd like to follow up on this." (historically, I have been very bad at this, ahha). If you receive a negative response (which is pretty unlikely I think?) you can still thank them for their time and ask for advice regarding getting into research for their field of specialty.
I hope this helps! If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask or dm me. I will try my best to be helpful :)
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c-nstellati-ns · 1 year
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A E H J T X for my boy gabriel/reaper? i love ur writing btw!
thank u <3
reaper - NSFW ALPHABET
A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
gabe’s surprisingly sweet! compared to his normally harsh nature, he’s very soft after the deed is done. he doesn’t like being taken care of, but falls into it much quicker than he’d like to admit. unbeknownst to him, he falls into this habit as time passes by- and it just leads him to being clingy with you. he hates thinking about it because originally this was supposed to be a one night stand, nothing more than that,,, but feelings blossomed. now, even when you’re leaving to go grab stuff to clean him up, he uses his enhanced strength to his advantage to pull you close and keep you there. don’t tease him about it though, or else the next time you’ll wake up to a cold bed.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
i headcanon gabriel as closeted bi, so he has a fair amount of experience with women [duhh he had a wife and son] but men,,, not so much. he repressed that part of himself for years before he met jack- and even then, they only ever got as far as blowjobs and handjobs, nothing more than that. in the men department, he knows the very basics, but not much other than that. give him some time to learn though, and he’ll blow your fucking socks off <3
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
i’d say gabe’s fairly well groomed! when he was younger, he was too busy to try and clean himself up more but as he’s gotten older, he’s gotten better with it. his happy trail is a little on the thicker side and is salt n peppery like his facial hair. he has a bit on his chest as well!
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
before he met you, his libido wasn’t as high as it used to be. the chronic pain he goes through often turns him off from wanting to do anything sexual, but he’s found out recently that you changed that it in him. gabriel’s desperate almost, because your hands on him not only light a fire in him but ease his body and mind in a way that he’s never felt before. it’s made it so that he’s even willing to do quickies even in the most risky places, it’s made him a tad bit careless. if you’re both away on a mission, away from each other, gabe is def jerking himself off frequently in an attempt to satiate himself. be prepared to be shoved into a closet the moment he sets his eyes on you because he isn’t leaving until he’s filled and satisfied.
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
ABSOLUTELY. i love the thought of gabe being like those ppl that have a wide collection of bad dragon dildos LMFAOO,,, most definitely has one modeled after your dick in there somewhere. seems like the type of freak to enjoy those tentacle, ribbed ones that just rub at all the right spots in him. if he can’t bring any of them with him during a mission that lasts a while, he’ll bring a vibrator with him and that’s it. gabe found that he enjoys sex better when he’s all pent up from nt seeing you for so long. hell, he’ll even send you a few spicy pics just to get you as wound up as he is thinking about you.
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
i say he’s fairly big actually- maybe around 8 inches hard? a little on the girthier side with a nice thick vein running on the underside of it. gabe’s probably uncircumcised, but pull back the skin and you’ll see that pretty leaking tip of his. i am going to be putting my desires on this man so therefore he has four smaller jacob’s ladder piercings <3 i love boys with big useless leaking cocks hanging between their legs while they’re being fucked senseless 🤭
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