#when i'm not trapped here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

enhanced-operatives-division · 2 months

Text

Junicrane/Starstruck Ramble

I will not be brief, all under the cut

To clear some things right off the bat:

No corpse, no proof with Juniper. Obligatory this is set in a canon where he's alive and adjacent to the agency in some way.

Reggie & Juniper are just gay to me, but I don't mind any interpretation of their sexuality

The games are set in 1967/68 to me (based on a couple bits in game) which is before it was legal to be gay in America at least (1971), which is relevant to how I interpret canon as being somewhat grounded in reality, despite unrealistic elements.

This is just an insane amount of headcanons/elements of and AU all culminated into one post. I will talk about some headcanons like they're just facts because they are established in my head, and it saves me over explaining literally everything, however I will explain some parts a little bit for clarity.

Alright. Actual beginning of the ramble:

Juniper is a character to me who had gotten so lost in his job as an actor and a social presence that in the end his whole life revolved around that 'role'. Because of this, by the time he's put into the situation where he's around the Agency, he basically knows nothing about himself, though he doesn't realise at first. Furthermore, what little identity he had has changed in so many ways. He's no longer a beloved famous actor in the prominence of public light, he's legally dead and he tarnished his career just before he was supposed to die, with the bonus of that making him lose the majority of his estate. From that, he also has horrific facial scarring from the electrical burns from literally having his face fried. I believe a friend of mine made a post about this a while ago (I also think they were the first to think it up also), but, to me, Juniper has a permanent trimmer in his right arm (aka his dominant hand) from the electrical current and it is messing with his nervous system.

All in all, he's not doing great, but he's too proud to admit that he's not doing great, because if anything, what's left of his ego is all he has as a defense since he's deep in unfamiliar water.

Before ending up around the agency (I have multiple interpretations of this, so I'm just going to bring it up generally), he'd never actually seen Reggie, and his only impression of him is a single voicemail, which was his only reference he had to later impersonate him. Juniper probably has very little feelings other than the ones he projects onto him because of Phoenix and that, at the very least, he's physically attracted to Reggie to some degree (that's like the beginning of how everything else would tumble into place in this sort of interpretation at least).

And on Crane's side? His feelings towards Juniper are probably very intense and muddled. On the one hand, he adores musical theatre, and that's his now ex-favourite actor. The thought of just casually being around him blows the bit of fanboy in him away at first because THAT'S the GUY, plus the inklings of a celebrity crush which still poke at him. And then there's the rational side of him, which knows Juniper has committed absolute atrocities on the side of Zoraxis, and hates him for that. Then there's how much Juniper comes off as an asshole at first because he refuses to cooperate with anything the Agency tried to put in place. He finds Juniper endlessly frustrating, and yet he's stuck working with him since, afterall, he's the one who knows the Agency's history with Juniper the best. I imagine him acting a lot like how he does IEYTD 1 around Juniper.

At this point, I'm just describing the pitch for a romcom.

I think the start of their relationship with one another largely started with Juniper trying to wind Crane up. It was a way of getting his attention, and I don't think Juniper knows why he's so dead set on that at first, because I don't think he realises he has a crush on 'this grump' at first. (I think that's actually the fun part about these two, because it's almost like a role reversal of the celebrity crush dynamic. This ex-big name actor has a TERRIBLE crush on an average joe and it is KILLING HIM.) But of course the Agency keeps them together because Juniper is at least conversing with Crane, so it's a start.

Through one way or another, they actually get talking casually, at least mildly at first. It takes Juniper a long time to fully deconstruct the wall he's built, and the thing is, Crane isn't the one trying to deconstruct it, at least at first, because yeah, Juniper realises if he wants Reggie to actually like him in any way, he can't keep winding him up. So they talk. Small talk at first, something rhythmic and almost easy to keep to a script. And over time that turns into actual conversations. Genuine ones in which Reggie rips out the occasional one of his jokes which Juniper is endlessly endeared about. The way he smiles just before he makes them, like he wants to chuckle at what he's about to say before he says it. That's probably when Juniper realised that he does have some vague crush on him, and that it wasn't going away.

This is what kickstarts John I can't-buy-you-things-to-impress-you-so-acts-of-service-it-is Juniper to do little things for him. It mostly starts off as him trying to make Reggie his tea how he likes it. However, the nerve damage in his arm makes that hard, as the weight of the kettle and trying to pour is hard all of a sudden. And he refuses to accept that, so he tries for a very long while. Long enough that Crane would go to investigate what was going on. And when he does see Juniper leaning over a cup with the kettle as he uneasily tries to pour it, and when Crane asks Juniper responds so matter-of-fact that his intention is nothing but genuine. And it catches Reggie off guard because Juniper hadn't done anything like that up to that point, and his very apparent vulnerability is so clearly on show.

It shifts something between them.

From that point on, conversations are longer, more familiar. Both of their attitudes soften, and Reggie makes more jokes. Juniper learns how to better use his left hand while strengthening his right back to a point where it could be used again. Slowly, they're both spending time with one another not because they have to, but just because they can. Little bits at first, not too far outside what they already were doing, but those little bits turned into long bits to a point where the other person's company was genuinely desirable.

As time passes, Juniper probably realises that he doesn't genuinely know much about himself or what hobbies he's into, because he never really had the time when he got big, and his home life in his youth wasn't bad, but it wasn't picturesque. I think Reggie would pick up on it, and absolutely try to introduce him to some things he's into. Some things stick, other things don't (corn husking very much stays Reggie's passion, and John will go with him sometimes because it's him, but it's not something he strongly cares for). Crane introduces him to a lot of music, and it's something that becomes a staple between them, with tracks they listen to more than others (tragically, I know relatively little about 60s music so I couldn't really say what). Occasionally they dance, never anything intense, think slow dancing, but the closeness is nice.

Through all of it, Juniper is battling the worst crush of his life, and he can't stand it, because I think he struggles to read people since he doesn't have anything like a script or a director to refer back to, so he has no idea if Reggie likes him back or if he's just desperate for that to be true. I think because of that any sort of confession between them would be incredibly raw, not only because of the time they live in making it hard for them to be truthful about how they love, but because it's a complete show of Juniper who's worked to be this better person. I don't exactly know how that would go, mainly because I don't have one set version of their dynamic, this post is just a generalisation of main consistent points.

Reggie does like him back, because he's gotten used to Juniper being just this guy, not a figure in the public eye, not a Zoraxis lackey, and not any sort of Agency operative (despite being under their care to some degree). He's someone he genuinely cares for, because they've given one another the time of day to learn one another, and I think because Reggie was a field agent, he was a lot better at reading Juniper than Juniper was at reading him. Eventually Juniper's company becomes something he could see around him for the rest of his life, and I think he accepts that he likes Juniper a lot more gracefully.

I think any affection directed at Juniper would at first be met with him feeling a little muddled. Reggie was a very physically affectionate person when he could be, and sure the initial flirting with one another came with the occasional little touches, but everything now was so deeply intentional. I also don't think Juniper would almost ever get over the novelty of being able to kiss him, or many other gestures, because it made the fact that they were together so very real, and it was great. I do think it comes easier to Reggie, and it's a big way of showing how much he cares, so it's important for Juniper to try and show it back because he knows how much it means to the other.

I like the idea of them eventually living with one another, too. I think Juniper would have always had a quiet little daydream of sorts where he does just live a domestic quiet life, and he can with Reggie (well, as close as they can get between the Agency and Zoraxis always being at odds), and he loves that, and he loves him, and it's immense.

I think they cook for one another a lot, it helps Juniper work on his dexterity in a controlled environment, which means a lot because it's a huge point of insecurity (that and his scars). He does improve, and Crane is proud of that and shows it and it's great. I also think they'd probably cook together too, because they can deal with being in the kitchen together and they work well with one another. It's probably a good way for them to unwind because over time they can do it in relative silence.

As I said before, I also think music is a staple in their household, and that Reggie listens to things on vinyl almost all of the time because he likes the background noise. Sometimes Juniper will catch him chuntering along to the music which he finds endlessly endearing. I wouldn't put it past his dramatic ass to also join in to fluster Reggie, but I also don't think Reggie would mind that terribly because Juniper has listened to the music enough to know the lyrics, and that's huge to him.

I don't think they are without rough patches, no relationship is, but I think the good part about them is that they're willing to talk about it (... eventually). They're used to long conversations, and while they're often less fun conversations, they're needed and they know that, and it works out.

Alright. I think I'm done for now. I haven't mentioned everything, but this definitely got the worst of it out of my system. If you ever want to hear any specific thoughts my ask box is open but other than that, behold my general dynamic for these two which has been festering in my head for years. I think they're great

#ty right-agent for explicitly telling me that this would be welcomed you a real one #i had a massive babble to my friend abt what if they all feed me to the hounds for speaking #and he said “girl that fandom is like 12 people big they need you to speak” and yeah that also helped #i have a hard time talking if I'm not asked/prompted to that's why i adding tags is great for me. that and i like the format #anyways.#THESE TWO.............dear lord can you tell I have been unwell abt them forever..#this is propeganda (/j) for them. btw. please you have to understand the potential here. it's so good.#it's slowburn <- my (probably) demiromantic ass cannot handle romance without a build up and this set up is perfect (it will never happen)#also i find it easier to write ANYTHING between these two from Juniper's perspective because i find it easier to get into his head #idk reggie is like the gay version of the: what is he thinking of? i could take a bear in a fight. audio ive heard.#whereas with juniper i have him trapped under a microscope #im going to tag this now so i can use the remaining tags to RANT #ieytd #john juniper #reginald crane #junicrane #starstruck #i expect you to die #<- being BRAVE!!!#when I get really excited i start getting like this internal shaking feeling and uh. yeah this rant started that #the worst part abt that is it also triggers my tourettes so like. double whammy. excited about blorbos? jail :(#but. yeah I uh. yeah. sorry this IS so long..I did warn but . AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHAUUUUUUAHHHHHHHHHHHHH #also i did this rant in 2 parts. last night and this morning so yeah uh. yeah.#god im so messed up about these two #make me a boat by the family crest came on while wroting this and while it's mainly a roxanix song to me......AUUUUUG.....#i struggle to find music for these sillies because they have such a specific vibe to me amd I've not quite managed to find something which -#- genuinely feels correct for them and it drives me up the WALL #GOD NIGHT SHIFT JUST CAME OF SHUFFL.....all my ieytd songs are coming out to drive me up the wall.......#FINISHED I've been adding tags as I've gone alonga #thank you for reading hope you enoyed and if you didn't im sorry

22 notes · View notes

anothermonikan · 8 months

Note

Monika being normal when she doesn't have the power of gods is a large sense-make.

It is!! I think, a lot of the ddlc fandom has a problem where they've flanderised the characters down to their most extreme states and forgot what they actually are like. in the actual game. So there are people out there who write and characterise Monika as if she's always some yandere who's obsessed with the player character who has no morality and will kill anyone who gets in her way. yknow she's not even like that in the actual game either, people just saw that act 3 Monika was kind of yandere-tropey and forgot everything about her actual character and made her yandere girl 300. Monika could have done worse. sorry I'm being a Monika apologist I do have monikan in my blog name. Monika is literally just some dorky high-school girl who was given god powers and told her world wasn't real and that part of her character doesn't go away when she has the revelation, why would it not be present when she doesn't have god powers? I have lots to say about Monika. Thanks for the ask!

#Monika did her best under the circumstances actually. sorry.#people act like she went around like actually killing her friends when in script that's just not how it is.#Sayori's death was an accident. it was a result of Monika messing with her file yes but she didn't actually like. physically kill her #Monika the whole game is trying so desperately hard to convince herself that everything she's doing is okay and that no ones real anyway #and like. guess what? it all falls apart and people forget that!!#People forget that Monika never truely had it in herself to delete people she considers her friends #Monika is literally just a girl trapped in a nightmare situation who had no idea what to do or how anything worked #give her some leniency. she's trying her best #sorry. I'm eepy it's like 1am here #aashshsh #DDLC #doki doki literature club #android answers #android.txt

49 notes · View notes

talentforlying · 5 months

Text

tbh i think the coldest and most shocking thing that can happen in an argument with this man is if you call him "john" and he corrects you to "constantine". biggest red flag you can find on the play. sounds pretentious when you're not experiencing it. means he's absolutely fucking furious with you.

#like here's the thing: he's not going to correct you if he doesn't know you or like you. he won't give anyone that power over him #he won't ever let some random jackass know they've gotten under his skin. it's just not worth the effort to him.#so if he's correcting you? it means you know him on a personal level. it means you're at Bare Minimum good friends #and it means he's so fucking angry that he's rescinding your place in his life until the argument is resolved. the castle gates are closed #you are now on professional speaking terms until this is resolved and the professional constantine is a real nasty piece of work #who will not spare your feelings or try to salvage whatever you've built with him. professional constantine wants the job Done #i've talked before about how little effort his father put into naming him after his mum died and how unemotional john's been about it since #and how unique it must feel when someone says 'john' to him with love or care or compassion after a lifetime of hearing it in anything but #like his first name doesn't usually mean a lot to him! its use is not a closely guarded privilege!#but if he cares about you then calling him 'john' can feel as intimate to him as a kiss #and if you burn him he will snatch that level of access away from you for Months. sometimes Years.#so! yeah!! if he ever corrects your name choice in an argument then you've Really Fucked Up Buddy!!!!#( also. hypocrite that he is. if you're on 'john' terms and you call him 'constantine' in an argument FIRST he will be absolutely WOUNDED )#( and he will cover with that professional veneer. that cold uncaring mask of anger. but it's trapped-cornered-animal anger )#( it's let-me-cover-this-injury-before-you-can-really-get-your-fingers-in-it defensiveness. and he will be cautiously distant afterwards )#( headcanons. ) I'M JUST LIKE THE BASTARDS I'VE HATED ALL ME LIFE.

21 notes · View notes

sluttylittlewaste · 2 months

Text

Maybe this is just a me thing but the MOMENT I realize a person in my life, whether romantic or platonic, doesn't reciprocate my feelings - I drop it. If I say "Hey I really like you" and they go "Oof sorry, I don't feel that way " or they leave or they try to change the subject? I will never bring it up again. Fully never happened.

I feel like a lot of people (specifically with regards to the romance genre in media) have this fantasy of being chased and having someone fight to tear their walls down, or to stick around even when they are constantly being pushed away - and perhaps it's because I have always envisioned myself in these scenarios as the one forced to do the chasing - but it feels... sad? Imbalanced? Pushy and coercive?

I don't want a relationship I had to talk the other person into. I don't want to have to give a grandiose speech about all the reasons loving me is actually worth the effort, or roll out a full marketing presentation to convince my partner that our relationship could be a good thing if they just "gave it a chance".

If a person I care for decides not to be around me? I'm going to trust them to know what's right for them. I'm going to trust a person if they say they don't want me or don't have space for me in their life. The moment you say you don't want me around, I'm gone. Poof.

IDK. There is just something about responding to blatant rejection by trying harder that makes me sort of sad instead of the happy tingly feelings these stories are trying to elicit.

#something something people should be able to take no for an answer #i know sometimes it's about “looking through the insecurety and self-sabotage to see the persons true feelings” or whatever #but I just #you'll never have to reject me twice #I'm not here to read people's minds #or try to change their minds about themselves or me or romance or friendship #respecting people's ability to think for themselves is a core component of love (for me at least)#so im going to take what is said or done at face value #ive had this argument with friends and exes before #“you aren't going to try ro fight for me/it/us?” not if you've made it clear that you want out #i have no desire to trap anyone #also #there's something very concerning about encouraging people to assume they know what their loved ones want #rather than accept what they are told or shown #this was brought on by uncarleys rwrb video #because when Henry jumped into that lake? i fully would have just left it at that #im not flying halfway around the world for someone who clearly doesn't want to talk to me #because if he wanted to talk to me he would #and i honestly don't think id ever be able to truly trust that our relationship wasn't just a result of me harassing him into it #but maybe that's my trust issues #rwrb #prince henry rwrb #prince henry fox mountchristen windsor #red white and royal blue #alex claremont diaz #thoughts #let me die #if i die #romance #love

13 notes · View notes

suffercerebral · 10 days

Text

me having gone to bed at 6 am every day for the past week and generally spiraling mentally while rotting in bed waking up this morning: a 4 mile hike in the heat is a really good idea right now, and while we're at it let's start like 3 art projects

#maybe my mom was onto something all these years telling me i'm bipolar #no i don't think i am but i do technically have a bpd diagnosis so like. mood swings up the fucking wazoo are not new #but i am not one to be like 'exercise will fix me'#i've also just come to terms recently with the fact that i didn't kill myself already so might as well start thinking of the long term #so not being in constant pain when im older is something im actually thinking of now #so like. gotta move more which i was doing during this semester! walking like 3 miles a day which didn't help brain but #it's gotta be good for you anyway even if i don't get the endorphins everyone says you get when working out #that's neverrrr been me bc also chronic illness w exercise intolerance #so it's like. wah i have a desire to move my body more and know it's beneficial #but chronic illness + mental illness + trying not to think about exercise in terms of weight loss bc i'm trying not to make that the goal #although certainly wouldn't be mad if that was the result but if i prioritize it over just overall health it's gonna make me obsessive #i'm saying a lot of words. i have no one to really talk to so i once again come to tumblr as a public diary #ANYWAY. trying to find balance with wanting to exercise for overall well-being but dealing with other factors like chronic illness #which has actually been under the most control it's been in years i barely even consider myself (physicslly) disabled these days #and also balancing the fact that while my disordered eating has never recovered and i still have extremely bad relationship with myself #im in a relatively better place with that. i'm not starving myself and im not going through binge/purge cycles #but my relationship with food and eating is still very much unhealthy #and i don't think that will ever really change bc it's so ingrained in the everything about me #i don't really know what i'm talking ahout anymore or what prompted this #i can't simply just say 'i'm gonna go for a hike today' and be normal about. always gotta psycho analyze myself #im in a very weird stage in my life where i feel like i have control over nothing and i barely even exist in my own body #im just like a cacophony of voices trapped inside a meat suit but im not in the drivers seat im stuffed in the trunk and tied up #and the guy driving is an old blind mind who should have lost his license his ass is NOT road safe!#so it's like i have all these ideas and desires and feelings and ahh!! but hey i'm locked up here let me out please #and also the state of the world. so bleak and hopeless and paralyzing that i've just kind of shut my feelings off so i'm rapidly switching #between numbness and overwhelming agony #what the fuck am i talking about

8 notes · View notes

the-sage-libriomancer · 2 months

Text

okay but like. the fact that Yuki explicitly says that he's envious of Kakeru because Kakeru has all the traits that Yuki desperately wants (charisma, easygoing nature, the ability to make people flock to him)

but also the fact that Kakeru pulled the same scummy "your existence is tangibly related to my problems so i directly blame you for my pain" mental gymnastics that Yuki pulled with Kyo, and he did it twice - first with Machi (abandoned her in basically all areas because of the family drama), and then with Tohru (verbally attacked her at her own mother's funeral bc his girlfriend's dad was killed in the same accident). luckily he learned from those incidents and actively strove to treat them both with compassion and understanding, but it just strikes me how despite being the polar opposite of Yuki, his viewpoint was so similar to Yuki's before he forced himself to grow out of it

do i have a point here. i dunno. something about how Yuki and Kakeru are so different in every conceivable way but they fell into the exact same trappings regardless

#i'm just thinking about that brennen lee mulligan quote #the one about how evil is boring bc it's always the same #and i think that's kinda what i'm thinking here. like. yuki and kakeru are beautiful and unique individuals #but they fell into the exact same mental trappings and inflicted the exact same kind of pain #even though their circumstances and natural temperments were very different #because evil is boring. it's the same narrow roads over and over #and you can't help falling down them when you're not being kind or thinking about other people #idk does this make sense #fruits basket #yuki sohma #kakeru manabe #sage speaketh

9 notes · View notes

outeremissary · 4 months

Text

I'm so lost in the sauce on my durge that I kinda forget there's supposed to be a video game attached sometimes tbh

#usually when the character completely takes over the game in my mind it's a moment of 'hm maybe I don't actually enjoy this game'#but I don't actually feel that's what's happening here I just think I'm That Excited.#I think a lot of it is having a character outside of an original story who doesn't exist in isolation #like. who has a web of relationships outside of just canon characters that I'm invested in and have been from so early #and we can keep building. by god we can keep building.#I also just haven't had so much fun on a totally new character in fucking forever and it's awesome #while there are definitely some novel aspects (paladin) I have also called them like. the Greatest Hits of everything I've ever done.#woag. fallen angel coded pure idealist imperfect victim Dex/Cha assassin knight with a unique personal relationship with the divine #and the most important backstory characters aren't trapped in the backstory #this rules.#rambling #balthazar is a self indulgent character as well but this is SO self indulgent. healing to the middle schooler in my heart.#and covered in blood!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10 notes · View notes

keeps-ache · 2 months

Text

porch time porch time woowoo !! :D

#just me hi #this is nice hvhs :3 #sometimes i forget cuz we've always lived so close together but i MISS my alone-lone time hbshf #alone-lone time is like zero people zero people noises. alone time is like. i can still hear you lol #and i don't like putting on shoes all the time. very hassley i'm giving that a four pfk :)#we moved from the city and augh. aaaoighdhsuaha hbsh #i'm actually really surprised i didn't go insane during the two year transition here because Oh Boy #though you know what i think i did pay in others ways i haven't thought of yet so hehe :> puzzle for later!#ik the first year sucked absolute gravel like Yikes hdhsb #/but Anyway ouhhhhh porch time !! :D #n i can listen to my music out here too.. very cool.. :D #plus the nature and such things lol #there are these cats that keep trying to get at our cats food so i'm low-key looking out for them #//oh and i need to get a trim #or maybe i'll let it grow out again to do somethin fun with it!! that'd be cool but idk if i wanna do long again fish #it was. not so fun lol #the last straw was that i kept trapping it under my elbows when i tried to get up. treacherous hfbsh #//but ye gonna go back to drawing :33 #i like drawing centaurs lol :DD

9 notes · View notes

paperlovesadness · 1 year

Text

I'm sitting outside in the sun in wet jeans - following advice on how to stretch denim to better fit you - making breathing room for myself and my thighs who are hated by jean sizing everywhere - and I'm getting sappy about Tumblr and fangirling and this community of lovely, unapologetically excited people I've met here.

This is something not many will probably read (long posts can be tough, I get it) - it just kind of all spilled I guess? Incoherently but with passion. So why not set it free when it's already here.

You see - I can't help but credit Tumblr as this huge part of my inner child healing journey. And particularly the girlhood part of it all.

Subconsciously & even consciously I've felt so so ashamed of these "girly" sides of me all my life. Especially in their "prime time" of my tween and teen years. I'd love things secretly - or at most - talk about them only after loudly labelling them as "guilty pleasures" (quite a terrible concept) or acting like it's all done with a tinge of self-aware irony.

But being a hopeless romantic; loving your favorite characters with your whole being; squealing over your favorite music and the musicians who make it; talking about your favorite songs and lyrics and photos; drawing, editing, making fanart of things that make your heart sore; sharing your fantasies and dreams; crying about quotes and big ideas; writing stories - those are all such beautiful things.

I've immersed myself back in the worlds of blogging and fanfiction and musical fangirling and... In many ways I haven't felt this good since I was a kid - still untouched by society and it's shaming of the endless supply of passion I had in me towards the things I loved.

And fangirls are a force. Fangirls are what made the music industry what it is. They're who discovered the Beatles and Leonard Cohen and Frank Sinatra and David Bowie - amongst so many others - and when they did the hard work - only then was it all taken over and appropriated by men who claimed only they can "truly and objectively" appreciate it.

It's girls - bright, unapologetically excited, passionate girls who care for pretty things and things with a soul and things with a story, with romantic connotations - girls who love to curate aesthetically pleasing landscapes and spaces around themselves - it's those girls who contributed hugely to an actual analogue photography and vinyl pressing revival & re-popularization.

I'm in my late twenties. I've only recently let myself pierce my ears and start wearing makeup sometimes. And care openly about my appearance and fashion choices. It's very much still all queer coded and slightly gender-mixed. Because that's me. But caring about these things has always been categorized as a "girl thing" = therefore = shameful, shallow, not something to be proud of.

I'm continuously curing my incredibly hurtful and internally misogynistic complex of "not being like other girls". There are still biases and automatic-judgements I'm fighting on the daily. But it's become so much clearer and easier to do so.

Im more ways than one I want to be exactly like other girls. I want to grab the hands of all the fangirls around this site and dance with them in a circle and tell them they look great whatever they choose to look like and I want to sit down in a meadow and make flower crowns together and squeal over our favorite things.

And to be clear I'm not saying be girly. I'm saying embrace you inner girlhood.

And that could be so many things. Just... Never be ashamed of the parts of it that society deems shallow and embarrassing or worthless.

And just... Thank you for being girlies with me 💗

(girlies & girls as usual used as more of a state of my mind and being; not a strictly gendered term. This applies in all, most or many ways to queer people & of course non-binary and trans experiences).

#thoughts thrown into the tumblr void #kind of like an actual blog post #sorry if it's incoherent or maybe relies too heavily on stereotypes in some ways? I've tried to find better words #when we do inevitably function in such a categorized society - and I hope the divide weakens and ceases to exist entirely one day #in the meantime we still exist here - with these linguistic and actual imposed divides and sometimes we need to heal within them too #I'm making less and less sense aren't I #anyway - maybe this resonates with someone - maybe it doesn't. Maybe you read it - maybe you don't. I think I just needed to say it #this is maybe the best way I could. Eh - words can be such a trap fkr thoughts and inner workings -#but we still love them with their limited waya of helpings is express; don't we. It's the best we've got #/#my posts #thoughts #blog stuff #fangirls #&#girlhood

29 notes · View notes