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#when i first started fencing i BASICALLY felt as silly and awkward as if i had eaten chapstick or started photocopying my ass in public
theriverbeyond · 2 years
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random thoughts after second watch of Everything Everywhere All At Once:
i love that the alt life skills/jumping paths are activated when you do something silly and weird. because that's how LIFE is -- so WHAT if you didnt choose to be a kung fu master or a hibachi chef or a singer or a gymnast or a sign spinner in this life. if you decide you want to do those things now, it's never too late!! if you want those skills you can get them, you can LEARN!! you just have to be willing to look foolish and silly, break your own status quo and do something weird and new and sometimes deeply uncomfortable and sometimes painful and be willing to be percieved doing all that!!
Jobu Tobaki (Tupaki?) wearing her ridiculous and amazing and over the top outfits in every scene feels like an externalization of the "i feel like i am too much and no one will understand me or be able to love me because I am too much". and i think that's how Joy feels, deeply, and Jobu Tubati IS Joy, and there's this whole nilism/depression/despair/helplessness/overwhelming looking through every universe because she just wants a mother who can see all she is and not run away. and then when she finds one, SHE runs away!! god. screaming and crying and throwing up. etc.
and there's this whole layer of like, allowing people to love you. because Joy/Jobu rejects that love until the very end where she reaches BACK, she chooses to accept the love that Evelyn is giving her. even though it isn't perfect. because you are still loved in such an absolute and unconditional way, that that love transcends this universe into every universe into every life, it is so virulant a love that it is capable of infecting universes without life at all. and you are allowed to accept it and allow yourself to be loved. and there's this whole feeling i am having trouble describing of the experience of growing up and realizing your parents did not love you in the all the ways that you needed, when you were a child, and how that hurt you, but they still loved you, and they love you now, and you can decide to reject it and walk away but you can also accept their love. because as an adult you have the agency and power you didn't have as a child and you also have the choice. to feel loved, to see the love. and it doesnt erase all the trauma and pain of a childhood starving for the exact type of love&care you really needed, but it feels very much like Joy is allowing herself to hold this duality of her Mother and the duality of the love she has recieved, as both existing without either aspect invalidating the other. there's a lot going on here. the absolutely gorgeous way this movie portrayed the complexity of relationships makes me want to eat sand.
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i still think about him.
trigger warnings: domestic violence, swearing, self injury.
Yeah, he was a piece of shit. He was abusive, mentally and physically. I gave 5 years of my life to him, some might say “the best years” of my life. I went back to him time and time again, I try to only remind myself of the bad things, but sometimes I can’t help to think about all the great times. The times that made me feel so happy. Times when we shared a bed, made a place a home, stuck together in the roughest times of both of our lives. Then he decides to leave when he’s got a better life? When he gets a good job? When I’m going through a rough time of my own dealing with self-harm recovery? I’ve been a year and a half clean no thanks to him. Then my mind wonders back to when he’d rub the scars on my thighs and kiss them, when he woke up in the middle of the night and held me and cried because he had a nightmare about me dying, when we rode horses and my horse got spooked and almost ran me into a barbed wire fence and he rushed over checking my legs to see if I’d gotten hurt. Those are the memories I can rid myself of… like our first date, just awkward kids, he held my hand as we waited for the movie to start.
when I started wearing contacts and not glasses and we got back together and he didn’t see me with glasses for months, then I ran out of contacts and had to wear them, he looked at me and smiled “there’s the pookie bear I remember falling in love with” yeah we even had the cringiest nickname for each other. These things haunt me at night, I can’t help but miss feeling emotions I didn’t even know I had. I’ve tried with other people, but I can’t be comfortable with them like I could with him. Maybe that’s what I really miss, comfort. I do miss him sometimes tho, his crooked smile, the weirdest sounds he’d make teasing me, that stupid stubble he refused to shave off, how he could convince me to do the craziest things the courage he gave me, the confidence I gained from him just loving me, how he was anxious around large crowds but went to prom with me regardless, but he didn’t know me. He’ll never know me like I know him, I know everything about him, every silly little goofy thing about him. He didn’t love me like I loved him and I know that. Still hurts regardless. I’m not a caring person, matter of a fact I think I may be slightly a narcissistic. I never get to know people, their hopes and dreams, I couldn’t careless. I pick up basic stuff from it being repeated, but with him… with him I wanted to know everything, I wanted to show him love, I’d never loved before. It felt right to show him that love, and I wish it would’ve done something to change his life. Sadly it didn’t, now here I am posting a stupid rant about this idiot that didn’t love me at 2am.
one day I’ll be okay, and it’s okay that it’s not today or tomorrow. I’ll get there and I’ll be happy that it’s just the memories I have left of him in my life. One day that’ll be enough. I won’t forget, but it won’t hurt like it does now.
-yours truly, love is complicated.
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Brilliant Plan [Anthony Bridgerton x Reader]
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Title: Brilliant plan Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x Female!Reader Word count: 3.3k Published: 10 February, 2021 Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore Notes: My first ever Bridgerton fic, please don’t be too hard on me :) Summary: Even as a new debutante you have your eyes on the eldest Bridgerton, Anthony and it seems he is just as interested in you. That is until he halts your relationship in the courting period, leaving you confused.
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You stood in front of the enormous, wooden doors leading you to the unknown. As one of the new debutantes of the season, you felt slightly pressured and nervous. It’s been an endless waiting game, or so it felt like one, but now that you stood in front of the entrance of your future, every little problem you ever had felt mediocre.
Taking a couple of deep breaths seemed to calm your nerves, but as soon as your mother placed her hand on your shoulder, all your worries came back at once. The event has been one that you have been waiting for eagerly, you were happy to be a part of such an elite society, but no one prepared you for the mental battle you were going to be having deep inside you.
“Shall we wait and take a seat, dear?” your mother interrupted your chaotic thoughts, gesturing towards a golden bench outside of the ballroom. A voice within you screamed for those additional seconds away from your grand entrance, but instead you shook your head.
“No, mama, let’s head inside,” a small, phoney smile spread across your face. Your mother nodded in agreement and gently nudged your back as if wanting to help you to take the first step.
As the gigantic doors opened, your gaze fell on the sea of people dancing in the middle of the room, each wearing their finest attires of the most expensive materials with the shiniest jewelleries. You felt slightly out of place even though you were just as stunning as anyone in the room.
First step, second step, it took a couple of them to finally make yourself present and when you finally felt more comfortable walking into the room, you felt as if hundreds of eyes watched every step of yours, making you feel self-conscious once again. It was scary to feel all those eager eyes on you, but after an inner monologue, you finally lifted your head high, straightened your back and forced a small smile across your face.
As you looked around you recognised quite a few people, for instance the Bridgerton sisters, Daphne and Eloise who were although younger than you, had found a dear friend in you, someone they could turn to if needed. Gazing around the room you found the Featherington sisters who you only knew through the annual dinners your family organised.
You were older than the usual debutantes as your mother wanted you to be highly educated before marrying you off. Although you couldn’t wait to be a part of these high society gatherings, you understood that your mother didn’t want you to marry just anyone.
Finally, the curious gazes felt less intimidating and as Daphne walked up to you, you greeted each other with a smile. “I thought you’d never join us,” she joked with you, but you just shook your head with the least lady-like laughter.
“I couldn’t have deprived you from my company. I’m delightful,” you chuckled at your own joke. Your mother placed her hand on your shoulder excusing herself as she headed off to the opposite direction.
“Are you excited?” Daphne asked with an innocent, but enthusiastic smile painted across her face.
“I have been waiting for it for quite a while. Of course, I’m excited,” you replied giggling.
“Shall we find you a husband then?” she chuckled joyfully. You cleared your throat, feeling slightly awkward, but Daphne wasn’t silly nor was she naïve. She immediately understood that her question made you feel slightly uncomfortable. “Do you not want to?”
“Daph, I really wanted to be a part of these gorgeous balls and chatting away with people throughout the evening, however I can’t picture myself getting married just yet,” you offered her a pleading look, hoping she would understand you.
Of course, it was a dream of yours to finally start attending these balls, but there was a reason or two for your hesitancy. You didn’t feel ready to marry anyone, especially not if you didn’t love your significant other, on the other hand, you already had your eyes on someone. Someone who was closer to Daphne than she could ever imagine.
“Sister, I have been looking for you,” his voice made you shiver, tiny goosebumps revealing themselves on the surface of your skin. His slightly messy brown hair and curious brown eyes wandered up and down on you, studying every inch of your body shamelessly as he joined beside Daphne, making you feel flustered under his intense gaze. “I don’t think we have met before,” he spoke to you finally, for the first time ever, reaching for your hand to leave a soft kiss on your silky gloves as you formally introduce yourself. “What a beautiful name,” he smiled confidently, a trait that seemed to radiate through his whole presence, almost knocking you over.
“Interestingly we have met before,” you added, trying to avert the subject, before you felt overwhelmed by a simple compliment to your name, which your parents decided on and basically had nothing to do with you. “But then you always seem busy when I visit,” the confusion across his face was evident, trying to organise the little pieces of the puzzle he seemed to be missing.
“My apologise, I don’t seem to remember and I’m sure I would have remembered such a pretty sight” he shook his head with a smile that sent your heart into overdrive. His words made you feel 20 pounds lighter, but instead of letting the compliment get to you, offering him a small smile, you continued the conversation confidently.
“Don’t you worry about it.I usually only catch a glimpse of you as I pass through the hall,” you lied. In reality you caught yourself not once staring at the man as he worked in his office and your steps halted just in the right spot to take a moment to admire his handsome features.
“I’m certainly glad to have officially met you,” he replied with a proud smirk across his face, leaving you gazing at him for a moment longer than it was deemed appropriate. The moment was quickly interrupted by Daphne who seemed to feel slightly out of place, but before she could have said anything, Benedict joined your circle, quickly dragging Anthony away who endlessly apologised, before following his brother.
“Hmm,” you heard Daphne, slightly lost in her thoughts. “And so, she said no to marriage,” she stated with a wicked smile.
“Whatever do you mean?” you asked furrowing in confusion.
“I might be younger, but I’m not an idiot. I saw the way you looked at my dear brother,” she watched you eagerly with a sceptical gaze.
“I don’t understand what you mean,” you replied casually, trying to disguise your embarrassment, which only confirmed Daphne’s suspicion.
“If that makes you feel better, I would gladly be your sister-in-law,” she chuckled loudly at the astonished expression on your face.
“Daphne!” you tried to scold her, but deep down you were imagining a future with the eldest Bridgerton, shamelessly planning each and every single detail of your shared life.
Throughout the evening you have caught Anthony’s eyes on you not once, shamelessly watching you as you danced with the most eligible men of the evening. You wished he was to ask you to dance with him, but he never attempted. He forgot his eyes on you at all times, making you feel as if you were a unique jewellery, one that everyone admired, but when it came to actions, he has taken none.
You walked out to the terrace with a glass of champagne in hand, watching the dark blue, night sky covered in a sea of stars. It was a beautiful evening, although slightly colder than you initially expected. Gently rubbing your skin, you tried to get rid of the small goosebumps that started spreading all over your body. You knew it would have been smarter to go back inside, but it was a slightly suffocating feeling, smiling at everyone, dancing with every other person. Whilst you enjoyed it, it was certainly exhausting.
Feeling two cold hands on each side of your arms, you jumped in the least lady-like manner, before they were replaced by a warm material. “You scared me,” you breathed, holding your hand in front of your chest, before you pulled the two sides of Anthony’s tuxedo coat together, enjoying the warmness engulfing you. “Thank you, you shouldn’t have-,” however before you could have finished your sentence, he interrupted you.
“I still don’t understand how I didn’t see you,” he spoke as he leaned against the terrace fence, gazing up at the sky. The confusion across his face earned a small smile from you as you placed a hand on his shoulder.
“Sometimes you don’t see what’s right in front of you,” you replied as he turned around, watching your hand rest on his shoulder, before you quickly removed it, hoping he didn’t think you meant to be disrespectful. However, the playful grin playing in the corner of his lips reassured you, making you smile just as well.
From that night there wasn’t a day you didn’t meet in his house or he didn’t come over to yours with an excuse, even though he needed none, your mother was delighted to see the Viscount in her house. Although he didn’t make it official that he was courting you, it was a known fact. He had his eyes on you and he made sure everyone knew of his unspoken intentions.
But Anthony was also a man of freedom. He had to take over the Bridgerton household, he had no place to object, but the freedom he practiced in his personal life was a necessity. You thought your relationship was going in the right direction as he courted you and you accepted his advances. However, after months he seemed as if he still had no intention of proposing to you, whilst he still kept other men as far away as he could from you.
You were tired of waiting. You didn’t want to marry just yet, but you have been waiting for his proposal for the longest of time and his indecisive manners made you doubt his intentions. Of course, you voiced your concerns to Daphne, who concocted a brilliant plan to make his brother jealous. Or so you thought it was brilliant.
As the next ball came and you walked inside the room with an innocent smile, dressed as beautifully as never before, many men gazed at your beauty, lips parting in astonishment. Surely, you enjoyed the attention, especially the one whose eyes seemed to burn holes into your body. But you didn’t look at him. You decided that if he couldn’t take your relationship a step further, then you would pay no attention to him.
“Miss, would you like to dance?” you heard from behind you as Benedict appeared in your vision with a mischievous smile. Although you were aware of Daphne’s plan, she was very secretive about the details.
“Daphne, isn’t it?” you asked, chuckling.
“Let’s just say I had no objection as soon as I heard that there was a way to irritate my brother,” he smirked proudly.
“Is this some twisted way to show your love towards your brother?” you asked, giggling as you felt Anthony’s eager eyes on you.
“I just enjoy seeing him sulking,” he shrugged carelessly.
“I take no responsibilities for any consequences,” you pointed your index finger at him with a mocking seriousness.
“Don’t you worry, miss,” he chuckled as he took your hand in his and led you to the dance floor. Eager eyes watched the pair of you, amazed by the bravery Benedict showed, even though everyone was aware of Anthony’s interest in you.
“If eyes could kill, I would drop dead at this moment,” he laughed, taking a peek at his brother as he led you around the circle, the quartet playing a rather slow song.
“I certainly feel daggers piercing through my back,” you snickered at the absurd situation.
“My brother means well, he is just an idiot,” he added.
“I wish I could object. I mean against the idiocy, of course,” you replied casually earning a heartfelt laughter from Benedict.
“Surely, he will open his eyes now,” he tried to reassure you which earned a sceptical look from you.
“I thought we had just established that he was an idiot,” you raised a questioning brow.
“I certainly think they are mutually inclusive,” he scoffed, earning an eye roll from you.
As the song stopped, Anthony walked up to you with a stern look and serious expression painted across his face, holding his hand out to you. You raised a questioning brow, before you placed your hand in his, letting him take you into the sea of people.
“What was that all about?” he asked as he pulled your body flash against him, his chest pressing against yours. Your breath hitched at the sudden closeness, his proximity clouding your mind. You could feel your body move to the rhythm of the music, but it didn’t register in your head.
“I don’t know what you mean,” you breathed, completely engulfed in his scent.
“Why were you dancing with my brother?” he asked in a stern voice, pulling you out of the mist covering your mind. You certainly didn’t like his tone, nor did you like the way he looked at you.
“Why wouldn’t I? You never ask me to dance with you nor am I engaged to you. I can dance whomever I would like to,” you replied with a straight face, hiding all your emotions.
“You know how important you are to me. Don’t play such games with my brother,” he hissed in frustration.
“Would you like me to play it with someone else?” you asked, feeling as if you were playing with fire, waiting for the moment he’d had enough.
“You very well know that’s not what I meant. You know of my feelings for you,” he groaned in anger, feeling useless, unable to find how to solve this problem.
“Do I? Have you ever expressed them clearly? As far as I know, we are just a man and woman in a close friendship,” you shrugged as the song finished and tried to pull away from him. However, he didn’t let you.
“There is no friendship between women and men,” he replied, clearly dissatisfied with your answer.
“We are acquaintances then,” you scoffed as you removed his hand from your waist and turned around, walking away from him. It felt as if your lungs were about to explode, as if you couldn’t breathe. The fact that he dared to say he had feelings for you when he clearly chose his freedom over you made you feel more upset than you wished to be.
“Where are you going?” you heard his voice as you headed towards the exit, trying to get some air into your lungs. “Where the hell are you going?” he tried again, his tone more frustrated this time.
“None of your business, Bridgerton,” you hissed in anger.
“B-Bridgerton?” he questioned, slightly stuttering, clearly astonished by your choice of name.
“That’s your name,” you replied with a groan as you headed down the stairs, grasping the side of your dress as the chilly weather hit your warm skin unexpectedly.
“Just stop for a second and let’s talk,” he attempted to catch your wrist, but you pulled it away just in time.
“I don’t want to talk to you, Bridgerton. You are the last person I want to see,” you scoffed.
“Surely, that’s not true,” he argued.
“You had months to talk to me, don’t come looking for me now,” you replied, but before you could have comprehended what was happening, Anthony got hold of your wrist and dragged you behind the building, away from the praying eyes, closing your escape route with his palms against the wall on each side of yours.
None of you spoke up, both of you studied one another as if waiting for what the other would say. You had the time to admire his handsome features, his messy hair that resembled more of a bird's nest as the wind blew it in all kinds of directions in his hurried steps.
“Why did you do this?” he asked, his tone finally calm and collected.
“I wanted to see your reaction,” you confessed, not even feeling guilty.
“What is that supposed to mean?” he frowned at your words.
“I thought there was something between you and me. I thought it was more than a friendship. I honestly believed you felt more. But you never attempted to talk about the future, you never wanted to discuss marriage, you never even mentioned wanting a family. I was certain that you would never look at me as a lady. I would always just be a friend,” you scoffed with a small, pained smile in the corner of your lips.
“What are you talking about?” his confusion sat clearly across his face. “I always tell you how madly I miss you when I can’t be around you. I keep saying how I wish to be near you more often. I couldn’t be clearer about my intentions,”
“You see, it’s still not clear to me. What are your intentions exactly?” you asked, cruelly ignoring his previous words.
“Surely, you understand,” he scoffed in disbelief.
“No, I don’t,” you replied, shaking your head.
“I- I just,” the stuttering mess he has become gave you the answer to your questions.
“You see, Bridgerton, you can’t even get yourself to say it,” you heaved a deep sigh and pushed his arm away from the brick wall, heading back towards the entrance. However, before you could have taken another step, he caught your wrist and pulled you back against the wall, his body pressing against you, the cold bricks making you shiver. You could feel his breath on your lips, one of his hands on your waist. You have heard so much about that first kiss and even though you knew it was wrong, that it shouldn’t happen, you waited in utter anticipation.
Anthony tried to control himself, knowing how important you were to him, but the proximity between you clouded his mind as he abruptly closed the gap between you, attaching his lips to yours, hungrily exploring the new territory.
It was wrong, so wrong, but the moment was bittersweet. The kiss was sweet and passionate, one you couldn’t even imagine in your wildest of dreams and you couldn’t even care about the consequences if anyone saw you.
The shock across his face as pulled away from you scared you for a mere second. “I sincerely apologise, I have no idea what came over me,” he tried to take a step back, but you got hold of his arm.
“Why did you kiss me?” you asked, still under the influence of his actions.
“Because I love you. Because I wish to marry you. I want you to be my wife,” he breathed in a sudden confidence. You gently slapped your hands against your lips, his words surprising you, making you feel as if it was a dream.
A small smile spread across your face. “You do?” you asked, uncertainty lacing your voice.
“I would like nothing more,” he rushed to add.
“Is that a proposal?” you asked, chuckling, but what came next was something you didn’t expect.
He dropped down on one knee, pulling a tiny, blue box out of his pocket, opening the lid as he looked up at you, admiring your astonished expression. “Would you do me the honour of marrying me?” he asked, his eyes full of hope.
“Yes, yes, yes,” you shouted excitedly, jumping in his neck, engulfing him in a hug, his broad shoulders barely fitting your embrace.
“Thank you,” he chuckled happily as he placed the ring on your finger, not expecting the quick peck you placed on his lips in the process. He stood up, wrapping his arms around your waist, before he lifted you up from the ground and spun you around with a happy laughter.
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hiro-gari · 3 years
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In the meantime of me running out of new ideas to write for, I'm gonna share this older headcanon that I have in my draft to you:
Do we have an AU where Garou and Badd are neighbours who hated eachother but eventually become friends or more because their pets are bonded first? Despite their houses are practically side-by-side, they're always get into petty fights over something silly. Zenko guessed it was just them having secret crush on eachother but totally in denial over their feelings.
Until each of their respective pet start getting along with eachother first.
Badd has a second cat, one of Tama's kitten which Badd still keep while the others had already adopted by his classmates, a tuxedo cat who likes to intrude into Garou's house through his window and steal his breakfast or napping on top of Garou's dog.
Garou has a big white fluffy malamute dog, a puppy he got from his father Bang as a birthday gift years ago so Garou wont feels lonely in his new home, who likes to jump over Badd's -unfortunately short- fence and playing with Badd's cat on his front porch.
Although the tuxedo cat somehow really looks alike and acting just like Badd, and the giant white malamute is basically Garou's doppelganger in a dog form, they're affectionate to eachother everytime they play together.
The tuxedo cat almost never shown his adorable side of him except for Badd's family, as he would be the crankiest cat ever with any strangers. But the kitty strangely becomes attached with the fluffy dog since their first met. He always trying to get outside to see his favorite puppy friend and spend more time with the doggo, no matter what and how. The kitty just likes to be near the warm presence of that fluffy and charming dog, 3rd place after Zenko's and Badd's. Thus the tuxedo cat often caught on loitering around Garou's house, making Badd must come to his -hated- neighbour to collect the cat back.
On the other hand, at the first time coming into Garou's house, the white malamute felt a bit lonely. He was happy to have such caring hooman butler who adores him, but he wanted more friend to play with. Until the dog saw an adorable tuxedo cat chilling out in the middle of small garden on the next house across the fence. He fell in love instantly and wanna knows more about this little kitty. Cue the malamute often caught on peeking from the fence or even jumping over it, ruining Badd's small garden after it got trampled on by the dog's big paws.
Surprisingly, the cat and the dog are becomes bestfurrends much faster than their hooman butlers, putting Garou and Badd in a big shame, courtesy by the exasperated Zenko. How come two animals who are supposed to be sworn enemies, cat and dog, could be more friendly to eachother than them??
If only Garou and Badd could be more honest for their hidden feelings, maybe their relationship would improved alot. Ironically, it was their pets who helped them out.
Since their look-alike animal counterparts love eachother so much, sometimes Garou and Badd went for a play date for them on the local park, or visiting eachother's house when their pets are playing in one's house. After many friendly interactions, slowly they developed new feelings and realizing they're not frenemies anymore.
On several occasions when Garou let Badd's tuxedo cat have sleepover on his house, he was witnessing how affectionate the "so-called crankiest cat in the world" towards his malamute dog could be.
The cat always grooming the dog's fluffy fur or his head not caring about their size difference, snuggling with the dog and trying to fit himself into the dog's space as close as possible asking for a cuddle time together, letting out those rare sweet meows everytime he tried to get attention from the dog, giving those slow-blinks kitty kisses whenever they're gazing on eachother or gentle headbutts whenever the dog feels sad, etc.
Garou often wished if it was Badd and him in those positions, feeling pathetic for getting so envious for their pets' lovey dovey moments. He admitted to himself that secretly he fell in love with Badd, especially after they're finally get along after spending more time with him nowadays.
But Garou still couldn't confess his feeling he has for Badd since he doesn't know if Badd likes him enough or not. It would be very awkward moment if Badd rejected him and they ended up back into square one, ruining whatever friendship they have built together before.
Unbeknown by Garou, Badd was also experiencing the same thing. Everytime Badd pet-sitting Garou's dog for awhile whenever Garou wasn't home to visit his father's house, or watching over his cat playing with the big white malamute at his front yard, he couldn't deny that the relationship their pets were having together was very sweet, actually.
The malamute always so playful and becomes such an attention seeker around his cat, also being all goof and adorkable despite most of the time the dog was just like his owner: chaotic cocky bastard (at least in Badd's eyes). Successfully turning his own grumpy cranky cat into a cuddly soft kitty.
Especially when they both were chilling out on the front porch, Badd would find them curling up together with his cat buried himself into the malamute's fluffy fur, sleeping between the dog's front paws, or peacefully loafing on his back.
One time the malamute also protecting his cat from a gang of neighbourhood feral cats, Badd totally didn't expect that goofy cloud of fur could be looking so terrifying like a wolf when he was in protective mode. Fortunately there's no actual fight happening between them and those feral cats, though. But Badd could see his kitty becomes much more affectionate than before towards Garou's dog as an appreciation.
Badd knows he shouldn't be envious for his own pet because the kitty has a better relationship than himself, yet he couldn't help but longing for Garou's love.
At that time, they have already managed to form a good friendship and Badd was glad they're not fighting out of pettiness anymore. It was just, Badd starting to see Garou as more than a friend. Since they become closer, he has discovered Garou's softer side and Badd was fallen so hard for him because of it.
The problem is only how to confess to Garou without ended up being awkward. He didn't want to misinterpreted Garou's flirty acts towards him during those "play date" time. Did Garou really means his flirtateous attempts as a serious thing or just a joke? If he misinterpret it, Badd was afraid he would be a laughing stock for Garou while he suffered a broken heart alone.
So, in the end, Garou and Badd were still being so oblivious to the other's very OBVIOUS feeling. Everyone around them could see the former hating neighbours slowly falling in love with eachother, yet never make a move. Very frustating to watch, honestly.
But at one night, when the exhausted-from-working Badd visiting Garou's house to retrieve his cat back home, he decided to take a brief nap on the living room. Garou asked if he wanna have sleepover over there since it was weekend, and he would let Zenko knows that her big brother was staying overnight at his home. Badd just nodded weakly, already feels the sleepiness coming for him.
Looking at how uncomfortable Badd's sleeping position on the couch, Garou carefully lifted Badd up in bridal style, before walking towards his bedroom so Badd could sleep on his cozy bed while Garou sleeps on the couch. But before he could leave, Badd grabbed Garou's hand to prevent him from leaving him alone. He told Garou that they could sleep together on the bed, since it was Garou's own bed and it's big enough for two people.
At first, Garou was hesitated because what if Badd just sleep-talking in half-sleep and would regret any of his words in the morning? But seeing Badd's reddened face yet still persistent on making Garou stay based on the strong grip of Badd's hand on his wrist, Garou was grinning happily. That means Badd was fully conscious of what he had said and taking it serious.
Hence Garou immediately scooting over beside Badd on the bed, taking a warm blanket and covered their bodies with it. Then Badd shifted closer until he was practically curling up against Garou's body like a cat, seeking warmth from the wolfy man. Even purring and snuggling on Garou's chest when Garou put his arm on Badd's back, embracing the smaller man which made Badd gets comfortable sleep. Soon enough Garou also followed Badd to the dreamland.
Meanwhile..
Both were oblivious that two pairs of eyes were watching them from the opened door. The kitty and the dog felt happy that their butlers finally having sweet moment of their own, too. They wished the hoomans would keep being lovey-dovey so the four of them could have double date together soon. Like, a real date and not the "play date" anymore.
It was so tiring to see the butlers' mutual pining, in which it took forever to make them realized their own feelings. But now that the mutual pining era was over, they feel relieved.
The malamute dog entered Garou's bedroom, then laid on a fluffy carpet beside the bed while staring at the cat, as if he was inviting the cat to join him. The tuxedo cat quietly following him and plopped on the dog's belly, curling up into a small ball of fur before closing his eyes.
The cat was purring in joy when the dog gave kisses to him (or more like muzzle nudging), before putting his front paw around kitty's body in a protective manner. The fluffy duo then also following their butlers into dreamland, too.
Now, both of the sleeping couples looked the same: Badd and the kitty were sleeping in their respective lover's warm embrace..
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----- THE END ----
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Notes:
Aaaah finally I can finish this! I was almost getting writer's block again but still struggling to fight against it, and here we are we got one writing finished so yayyy 😅💦
I hope this silly headcanon could entertain you all, but I apologized if this looks very low quality as always I'm so sorry please forgive me 🙇
@hiro-gari @the-goddessfighter @garous-nipple
Thank you so much for willing to write this lowly writing of mine, I always grateful for you.. 😭🙏💕💖 Have a nice weekend, everyone! 😉👍🌸🌺🌼🌻💐
-Little1993lamb-
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THIS IS SO CUTE I CAN’T- 💗💕
First of all, I love their respective animal counterparts, they fit so well for both of them 🥰 Angery tuxedo cat for Badd, and a giant floofy malamute for Garou omggg
I love how, of all things, they gotta have their PETS lay it out for them before they finally start to Get It™️. Like everyone around them sees it but nope 😤 they’re wrong, they’re meant to hate each other.
But when their pets become bff’s despite the obvious size difference and being entirely different SPECIES... Oh ok maybe we can get along 🤦🏻‍♀️😂
Ghhhhsksk the END SCENE is so sweeet I have cavities 😩💗 I rlly liked how Garou was like, oh no, he’s delusional :’) That’s so him oh my god, I love them sm, this is so precious!!
Thank you for putting so much work into writing these for us, it is so appreciated, we love to see it!! 😘💗
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blackroseraven · 3 years
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So I slept at the barn last night, out in a horse paddock.
I may have also ridden my horse naked but I will neither confirm nor deny this.
It was a good night.
Okay so. We got there at the usual time and did some easy riding. The biggest thing is that I got my partner on Quattro again and he rode around for a bit without a pad or anything. It went really super well.
Then he went and got me Burger King, and then left me there, and I went and set myself up a nice little camping spot outside in the paddock.
The horses were all very curious what the hell I was doing. Which is fair, I had my backpack and an outdoor sleeping bag and all, all new things, and of course I was in a nice little nook near the shed and next to the boys’ pasture.
Buster was like. Terrified, but also extremely curious. Just kept coming back again and again to check it out. Rhymer and Turbo were just enamored with me being there and hung out most of the night by the fence. And Tosh basically turned into a giant dog and at first ran back and forth in front of the fence, then repeatedly tried to stick his head through to get to the sleeping bag.
Quattro was anxious, but Q and Zara both got over it very quickly. I mean, Zara didn’t care. Quattro was also very confused why I was still there at first, and he got kind of skittish, kind of nervous, but... then when I got up and came over to pet Q he literally ran around the hay bale to be touched, too, so... I was glad that worked out.
Also. I brought ice cream cones, and filled them with grain.
None of the goddamn horses would eat them. None of them, except finally Sunny. I thought it’d be perfect but they all hated them, even Jaeger and Hale.
But anyway. Being out there, in the paddock with the horses was... I dunno how to describe it properly. It was really wonderful. I was laying there in twilight, as darkness came in, and it went from “haha this is a dumb idea” to just... peaceful. I didn’t want to turn on anything, or even read. I just wanted to lay there and bask in this feeling, like that feeling when you wake up early on a day off and you can just... lie there forever, in bed, at peace.
It was really nice.
It helped that, you know, there was a truck hauling garbage out of the barn. But once that was finally gone, I was able to go in at nine at night and get Jaeger, and then spend some really good, relaxed time grooming him and going over him and just... being with him.
That was wonderful.
I went back outside, spent time with the horses. And so like. At one point, Q came over, right? And he starts nosing my feet through the sleeping bag. I ignore him, until he starts pawing a hoof at it, and then I tell him to stop and boot him away. And then he goes back to nuzzling for a while before he suddenly freaking bites me hard through the sleeping bag, and I squawk and kick at him and scare all the horses.
Q only goes about ten feet back but. At least it was enough he got the point.
Mostly.
So late in the night. When everyone was asleep. I got Quattro and Q, brought them in, groomed them nicely, and then took them up to the arena. And there was some riding done, and it may or may not have involved no clothing.
It was exciting, though. Not gonna lie.
Then it was just. Time to try and sleep. Okay so. A silly dumb thing but I got up once to pee. No I did not pee on the electric wire. But like. Q and Quattro RUSHED over to see, and then Q. Also just started peeing.
It made me feel very awkward and I just kind of went back to bed.
Then like. One thirtyish?  Two in the morning?
Yeah, I felt a breeze, I shifted, and my foot went through the zipper at the bottom of the bag. Teeth came completely undone. Mad as hell, literally bought the outdoor bag for this express purpose and it didn’t last a single night. Thankfully, I am used to camping and so I overprepared - or just right prepared, as it turned out - and brought a sheet sleeve too.
It was actually rather chilly, which ended up being really nice, to be honest. No bugs to worry about. I heard a few raccoons and some mice and/or rats, but nothing bothered me. Except for the horses that kept coming over to stare at me, but that was a good kind of bother.
I apparently was near Buster’s sleeping spot, which is why he kept checking me out, but he settled and slept once he realized I wasn’t going to bother him. Q also slept, no problem, which is unsurprising.
I was worried about Quattro. That I was going to disrupt his sleep cycle and everything, that he wasn’t going to settle, that I was just stressing him out. He would come and go now and then, stand nearby, but never lay down, all that. I figured if he did sleep it would be in the far paddock, since at night they have access to two.
But he actually came into this paddock, relatively close, and laid down and slept.
And after that I slept. Just... melted all my stress away.
I woke up to Q breathing heavily in my face. Literally inches away from my face, just standing over me, staring down at me.
It was a little odd.
I slept again, and woke up to Cowboy and his daughter getting their horses. Mostly because. Tosh went crazy and was cantering furiously all over the pen, and Cowboy is not a quiet person.
Shocking, I know.
Finally, sevenish rolled around. I got up, got dressed, got going. Bagged my stuff up and went to feed horses, and then start putting them out. Made some good progress by the time anyone showed up.
Partner showed up a bit after eight? And he rode Zara. I only rode Quattro down and back along the lower trail to make sure it was tied, and I wasn’t going to ride Q but... somehow I ended up on him, and just let him wander the lower trail without any reins or anything. It ended up being super nice.
It was a good gift to myself.
I know that. You know, I have just turned a third of a century old. I am twenty years too old for this.
Bu tit felt good. Right. And I was glad to have the experience, especially while I’m still able to handle it so well. My body barely hurts; it’s also a reminder that... I am in shape. I am decently capable. It’s just... I get a lot of pain, from my stupid broken brain.
So I have to make the most of what I do have. And remember to take advantage of everything while I still can.
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spork-guitar · 4 years
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Lucky Lady Chapter 2 (Bodyguard!Mari)
Based off of a prompt by @gale-of-the-nomads
@sapphicsovereign @gingerdaile
Before we begin, I wanted to apologize for how long this chapter took. My sister gave me the flu last week, and I basically did nothing but sleep, then I just procrastinated for a few days (as usual). I’m still going to try my best to crank out a chapter every couple days, but that won’t always be the case. To make up for it, here’s a longer chapter (oops).
Chapter 1 here 
Ladybug was struggling. It was her first day on the job, and she was already failing miserably. So what if Adrien Agreste just happened to be super hot? She could keep it professional. Besides, he was engaged, and it didn’t matter how plainly uncomfortable he was around his fiancée, she was going to hold her tongue and let him run his own life. She wasn’t going to be the next in a long line of overprotective, sheltering people he had to put up with.
   Still, there was a chance he could be shallow and self-absorbed. His sunny disposition and gorgeous smile could just be a façade, covering up how he truly was when the public wasn’t looking at his picture on a magazine cover. Ladybug had known him for a few measly hours. She had no right to make judgments yet or ever, and she knew it.
Running on a couple restless hours of sleep and pure adrenaline, she focused the little attention she had on getting the seemingly happy couple to the park. Under strict instructions from Nathalie to stay until the end of the photo shoot, she allowed Adrien to introduce her to the photographer while Lila got ready.
“Ah! You’re much more photogenic than the last one.” Vincent held up his hands and closed one eye as if studying her through the lens of a camera. “Have you ever considered becoming a model?”
“Oh, I don’t think I would be very good at that.”
He leaned in conspiratorially. “Well, perhaps if things don’t work out with Mlle. Lila.” She felt a rush of blood heat her cheeks and struggled to come up with a suitable response, but fortunately (unfortunately?) for her, a certain model stepped in.
Adrien smiled at her and winked, engaging the cameraman in conversation and leading him away from her, and Ladybug let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding.
She briefly considered waiting in the car - or running away, which had also crossed her mind - instead of watching Lila hang all over Adrien as an overly charismatic photographer communicated using metaphors about Italian food, but she ultimately decided to stay. She was Adrien’s bodyguard, after all, and if protecting him meant staying close by him at all times, that was a sacrifice she would have to make.
Ladybug found herself entranced by the way Adrien immediately understood the photographer’s obscurities, the way he furrowed his brow when he was confused, how graceful his movements were. A small voice in the back of her head whispered what she was afraid of, that he could be as egotistical as the woman posing beside him, and once she got to know him she would see his true colors.
A cry pierced the air, snapping her out of her stupor, and her head instinctively turned to see what was happening. A little girl stood at the trunk of a tree, yelling to a woman - her mother, perhaps - who was blatantly ignoring her, and gesturing frantically to the tree. Ladybug squinted, barely able to make out what she thought might have been a cat. It was resting on a low branch, only a couple meters off the ground, but way too high for the young girl to reach. It was fine, though, someone would call the fire department and-
“Adrien! Where are you going?” Lila whined as she was forcefully pried off her fiancé, who had broken into a dead sprint towards the girl.
He arrived in seconds, squatting down as the girl tearfully explained the situation. Ladybug had half a mind to go after him and chastise him for running away, but she was admittedly curious.
“What are you waiting for?” Lila shrieked, arms folded across her chest. “Don’t just stand there like an idiot. Do your job!”
Ladybug rolled her eyes internally and started walking towards Adrien, who stood on his toes and stretched one arm up, the other braced on the tree trunk as he cooed at the little kitten. It inched closer skeptically, batting a curious paw before crawling into his waiting hand. He lowered his arm, gently cradling the kitten to his chest and petting it, and Ladybug stopped dead in her tracks.
There was something so sweet and tender, almost domestic, about the scene before her that rendered her completely speechless. A rush of indescribable… something hit her like a freight train, and it was only when he looked back at her and she realized she had been staring at him that it clicked.
She was in love - with her client, no less, and to make matters worse, he was engaged. Maybe, the logical part of her whispered, maybe that’s not what this is. Honestly, there’s no way she could have fallen for someone after knowing them for all of a day. No matter what, keeping things strictly professional between them was the most important thing. She was there to do her job, and nothing else.
“Ladybug?” The sound of her cover name instantly derailed her train of thought. “Are you alright?”
“Ha, yeah,” she assured, plastering a smile onto her face. “I guess I get in my head sometimes.”
Adrien chuckled. “I can understand that. You looked a little out of it.”
“My apologies, M. Agreste. I’m afraid I’m not much of a morning person.”
“Well, we certainly have that in common. When my mother was around, she always told me I would get used to waking up early, and I never believed her.”
Ladybug nodded, unsure what else to say. The short conversation came to a dead stop, and Ladybug focused on not staring at Adrien. It didn’t matter that he may as well have been literally chiseled out of stone and extremely handsome in every sense of the word, she was still his bodyguard, and he was engaged. That was that.
The Agrestes were full of mysteries. It was something that intrigued her about the family, and one of the reasons she had volunteered so eagerly for the job, but especially the disappearance of Emilie Agreste, formerly Graham de Vanily. She had vanished under mysterious circumstances when Adrien was barely a teenager, and nothing but false leads were found in the ten years the case had been open.
And then there was perhaps the greatest mystery of all, why Adrien would ever marry Lila Rossi.
“Adrien!” A singsong voice called out from behind them. Ladybug inwardly cringed as a mane of hair and expensive perfume brushed by her, planting a loud kiss on Adrien’s lips and snaking her arms around his neck. “It’s time to go, chouchou.”
“So soon?” He freed an arm from her grasp to check his phone. “It’s only been a little over an hour.”
“Philippe decided to end early today.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Vincent, you mean?”
She waved a hand, dismissing his correction. “Whatever. At least we have some extra time to… do something fun before you have a piano lesson.”
“Piano’s tomorrow. I have fencing today.”
“Of course. Silly me!” Lila giggled as if her blunder was the funniest mistake she ever made.
Ladybug cleared her throat. “I’ll let Nathalie know we’ll be arriving ahead of schedule, if that’s alright with you.”
Lila sneered at her and rolled her eyes. “I much prefer the one that didn’t talk.”
Determined not to let her words have too much meaning, Ladybug quickly put them out of her head, walking in short, quick strides back to the sedan. The drive home was silent and awkward, save for Lila’s occasional critique of Ladybug’s driving skills. Her first day on the job ended worse than it began, with a newfound love for the handsome Adrien Agreste, and a blossoming rivalry with his unbearable fiancée.
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veinsandknuckles · 5 years
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It's a bad life if you don't weaken, pt 4 (Tallahassee/Reader)
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A jolt of movement woke you up and your startled brain tried to compensate for its confusion by running through a few scattered facts that you could cling to. Like your name and age, and that you were alive, and that you weren’t sure if it was still worth the effort, and that you felt absolutely sick to your stomach. Unlike the rest of your new motley crew, you had a good reason to keep track of, if not dates, then at least the number of days crawling past, so you also knew you’d been traveling in their company for at least two weeks. But you didn’t know where you were and you couldn't remember why you'd been unconscious. When you tried to sit up to check whether you needed to run or fight, your head forced you back down by giving your brain a good, hard squeeze.
“Aahh!” You would have complained more but somehow you couldn’t muster up the strength to form words. Tallahassee came into view above you. Things were real bad when that was the most reassuring thing you could have hoped for.
“Don’t move,” he said, too late.
“What...”
“You took a pretty bad tumble. We’re safe for now, just holed up in here until the other two bring the car over.” He was sitting by your side with his gun resting by his chair, breathing hard, sweat glittering on his forehead. The movement you’d felt must have been him laying you down... where? By gingerly running your hands down your sides you found you were propped up on some old blankets on top of wooden crates. Tallahassee must have been stuck for choices because it was not a comfortable surface.
Now he got up again, secured the door and picked up a first aid kit on his way over to his seat.
Boxes and debris took up most of the small room and the only light came from two small, dingy windows high on the wall and a flash light pointed towards the ceiling - it looked like the back rooms of shops everywhere, which was strange because the last thing you could remember was... running from a horde and finding yourself trapped against a fence cutting off the alley.
The wire at the top of the fence had been torn. As soon as that image entered your head, the sharp, hot pain from your leg made itself known and you squealed and drew your knee up as if you could protect yourself against it by shielding the area.
“Was wondering when you’d notice that,” Tallahassee said unsympathetically and pushed you gently down onto your back, not before you’d seen the gash running up from your knee and the blood drying into your jeans. “Gimme a minute to recover and we’ll get you cleaned up. You’re heavier than you look.”
“Oh, fuck,” you whined and saw the light begin to fracture and spread from tears.
“Hey, hey, hey.” Tallahassee drew his chair closer and leaned towards you, squeezed your shoulder, put his knuckles to your jaw to make you look at him. “Shh. You’re gonna be alright, come on now. Need some water?”
You reached out to take the proffered bottle but you shook so violently that he sighed and very gently slipped a warm, wide hand under your neck and helped you sit up to drink. His expression had softened now and that made it even harder for you to keep it together. When you’d finished, he poured some of the water onto his hands to get the worst of the red off of them, pulled the first aid kit onto his lap and zipped it open.
“Alright then. This ain’t gonna be pretty.”
He picked up the flash light and turned it on your leg and you pushed yourself up onto your elbows to see what he saw. With all that dried blood and fabric it was hard to tell how bad it was, but Tallahassee didn’t seem worried. The pain was intense but after the moment of surprise, it was beginning to be manageable. Was that a good sign? Or were you going numb?
“It ain’t deep but you’ll definitely need stitches...” He put a hand on your leg to pull the cloth a little out of the way and no, you weren’t numb because his touch instantly made you tense and grow hot. Tallahassee must have taken your sharp breath as a complaint, because he shot you an apologetic look. “Sorry, darlin. I’m sure I’m the last person you’d pick to play doctor, but it has to be done.”
After rummaging, he got out a pair of scissors and now the heat was climbing up your chest towards your face. He spotted your discomfort.
“Promise I won’t look more’n I have to.” As careful as he was, it still hurt like hell when he pulled the fabric away from your skin and slipped in one of the blades to start cutting. You licked your lips. If he was going to have enough room to work, you’d end up wearing something very similar to daisy dukes on that one side.
“Oh, it’s fine... you deserve some perks for getting me out of there.”
“Sweetheart...” Tallahassee chuckled. “I was just lying about that to make you feel better.”
“Right. Silly of me to expect anything else.”
If he was trying to distract you from the pain, it was definitely working - now you could add BO, pose and choice of underwear to your list of urgent worries.
His work was awkward going, especially when you had to spread your legs to give him room and try to make it look casual, but he quickly had at least the front of the pants leg cut free and peeled off of you, careful not to worry the cut.
“Do you even know what you’re doing?”
Tallahassee looked miffed. “Course I do. You think I run crying to the nurse over every little scrape?”
How the hell should you know? He never talked about his life before all of this. Ten to one but he’d been an insecure office worker who’d seen the end of the world as the perfect opportunity to reinvent himself... but then that wouldn’t inspire much confidence in his surgical skills and no one else was queuing up behind him. Besides, you liked your romantic images of him, alligator wrestling, glassing bikers, chopping wood with his shirt off and whatever else it was that bad ass rednecks got up to.
You watched him as he did his best to wash his hands, pulled on some gloves, lined up his tools and patted his pockets for his flask. Before he could waste all of it on your leg you snatched it from him and took a swig. Vodka. He must be getting desperate.
“I’ll overlook that transgression, but only this once.”
With you sitting up and pointing the flash light as steadily as you could, Tallahassee cleaned the cut, first with more water, then with liquor and then, when you’d stopped complaining, with disinfectant from a nearly empty bottle. He must have noticed how you stopped squirming when he rested a hand on your bare leg and you could only guess at how he interpreted this. It was hot in here even though by now the blankets and the remains of your pants were soaking with water and sweat. When you shut your eyes you could still feel how near he was and the competing agonies of the pain and of wanting him even closer were neck and neck.
“There’s no dirt or fabric in there that I can see... better to stitch it up now and hope we can find some antibiotics than try to get it perfect later.”
“Is it going to scar?”
“Oh yeah.”
“Good.”
Tallahassee peered up from threading the needle, questioning this. You licked your lips and pressed on, determined to have anything else to think about apart from what was about to happen. “I mean, it’s officially the post apocalypse. I was starting to worry I wouldn’t blend in without some scars.”
“Quit talking like a damned geek. You sound like Columbus.”
“Well, he doesn’t exactly look the part, either.”
“He looks like an accountant fucked a ball of yarn.”
You laughed and Tallahassee held onto your leg tighter and pushed the needle in. You’d been gearing up for this. All you did was tense and hiss and keep your curses to yourself. The impressed-despite-himself look he shot you was all the reward you needed and that strengthened your resolve when he pressed on.
“That’s too mean,” you replied once you were sure your voice would come out steady-ish.
“By all means, chalk it up to jealousy of his youthful good looks if it makes you feel better.”
“Why would you be jealous of that?” You were trembling. Because of blood loss and shock and pain. “You’ve got your own.” No other reason.
Now it was his turn to laugh and he looked smug and preening, if not convinced. Preening suited him. “What can I say? Clean living and a clean conscience.”
“Fine then, keep your secrets.”
Silence crept back in and he focused on his task. The prick of the needle hurt, but it was the sickening feel and sound of the flesh being basically skewered onto it and then tugged along weirdly by the thread that was really unsettling. The mood in the room was heavy and tense and Tallahassee frowned even deeper each time he had to inch his hands a little higher.
“You know,” you said at last because saying anything, no matter how awful, was better than nothing. “When I pictured you poking around in my gash, this wasn’t what I had in mind.”
Tallahassee turned a dumbfounded look on you and you practically giggled with nerves. He snorted, shook his head, grinning as if he couldn’t believe what his ears had passed on from you. “Terrible. You’re starting to get worse than me.”
“It had to be said,” you lied.
“Well.” Tallahassee took this opportunity to get liberal with the disinfectant, maybe in the hopes that the stinging would shut you up. “Guess that goes to show you should be careful what you wish for.”
He thought you were joking, not just because you were joking but because for the first time you were actually straight up hitting on him instead of stealing glances here and there and hoping he’d press the issue himself. Of course, he had reason not to believe you - you were delirious and lost and trying not to think about how close you’d come to dying.
Those excuses made excellent shields for you to tell him what you thought and still play it all off as nonsense springing from the heat of the moment. Still, the tension built and now the awkward question wasn’t something only you had to wrestle with. He looked at you less but when he did, his eyes were quick and sharp with meaning and uncertainty.
You had run out things to say because the stitches climbed with agonising slowness and the first manic rush of adrenaline was fading fast. If he wanted to break the silence, it was definitely his turn and a few sly glances from him finally convinced him that the ball was in his court. “By rights, it really ought to be the other way around.”
“You lying on your back?”
“Well, yeah. With my shirt off, all heroic-like, and you fussing over me.”
“Oh, you’d love that.”
“Seems more in keeping with your feminine nature.”
That was bait, and you ignored it. “Are you saying I’d have to injure you to get your shirt off? Because I might.”
Perhaps Tallahassee hadn’t picked this topic as an invitation for you to keep flirting, but he didn’t look at all as if he minded. This time his smile bordered on predatory. “Darlin’, all you have to do is ask.” When his voice dropped low like that it became a low, rich rumble, difficult to handle even when you were at your best.
Now you felt faint, and you sighed and shook so hard that he could see it. Whatever reaction he’d expected, that hadn’t been it. Tallahassee’s grin faded, slowly replaced by something dark and hungry, his body held still in a way that suggested it took some considerable willpower for him to keep himself in check. But the uncertainty hadn’t left. He broke eye contact, just a moment too late to leave any doubt of what he’d been thinking, swallowed and brought his shield back up. You had pushed him as far as you dared. Whatever held him back was beyond you, especially now, and everything else was crashing.
Tallahassee dispelled the mood in the room with casual body language and all business attitude. He kept working, ignored your shallow, quick breathing and your fingernails digging into his shoulder for support and finished sewing after what felt like a life time.
The rest was easy. He cleaned the cut one last time, neatly covered it with squares of compress and lifted up your knee so he could wrap it all in a tight bandage. By now you shook uncontrollably, your limbs felt cold and your skin clammy and blocked. He drew you close to help you test your leg and you almost wished you hadn’t teased him so that he could hold you as a friend and think nothing of it. He’d held you before. His gruff manners now suggested he wouldn’t do that again.
You were so tired now, your head spun when you moved, the pain was hot and crawling, less urgent but more difficult to ignore. It had all gone wrong. Familiar voices drew near beyond the door and Tallahassee wouldn’t risk tenderness with an audience; he looked down at you with an impersonal, encouraging smile, took some of your weight and steadied you with his arm around you without it ever feeling as if he’d come any closer.
“In here,” he called out and helped you hop and shuffle your way towards freedom. Whatever this moment had been, it was over and when the door swung open and Columbus stretched out his arms to catch you, Tallahassee killed it for good by pressing the back of his hand to your forehead and looking grim and satisfied to find you had a temperature.
The light and noise past that left you delirious. By the time you reached the truck they’d parked right outside the shop’s front doors you’d cried yourself to sleep without a sound.
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wren-bishop · 4 years
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Backyard - Devyn
@drunkcn
Devyn: devyn was already a few shots in before she even showed up to riley's place, having an aching feeling that she'd need to be somewhat buzzed. she made a b-line to the first person she spotted with a cup in their hand, snatching it from them and smiling. "this is just what i needed, how did you know?" she teased before taking a small sip.
Wren: Wren just let her take his cup, "I'm very good at what I do" said Wren pulling his flask out of his pocket and taking a sip so he wouldn't be without a drink. "How are you doing tonight? Have you seen Val anywhere?" he asked
Devyn: her eyes followed his hand as he pulled a flask from his pocket, smiling a bit wider once he started drinking from him. "you came prepared," she stated, clearly liking that fact. devyn shook her head, the corners of her lips turning under just a bit. "i've only been here five minutes, she's probably around here somewhere... probably making out with memphis somewhere."
Wren: "Nana says to always bring a flask" said Wren closing it back up. Wren did his best to stay calm on the outside, "Haha devyn, so funny" Wren replied, "She won't makeout with Memphis until way later in the party" he joked. Why did people keep trying to warn him about the two of them? Was there a good reason?
Devyn: "i like nana, she's a smart lady." she nodded her head, matter-of-factly. her expression fell, her eyebrows joining together in the middle. "who says i'm joking? didn't you hear about memphis cheating on kimmy with valerie? i mean, i know it's old news but the two of them clearly like each other." that was as much as she knew about the blonde's relationships, she was completely unaware that she was actually dating wren. "why do you wanna know where she is anyways, you got a thing for her?"
Wren: "I mean yeah I was around for that, but it was just about breaking them up it wasn't like a .. they like each other thing" said Wren with a shrug opening his flask back up and taking a sip. "We're dating" Wren added, realizing that Devyn just didn't know, made more sense why she was talking about Valerie and Memphis like that. He was still a little more nervous than when the night had started, and he didn't like that he hadn't seen her yet and that they hadn't come together at all.
Devyn: she inhaled deeply, eyes widening when she was informed of his relationship status to the girl in question. then her cheeks started to go red but she tried to hide her embarrassment by taking another sip from the cup she stole from him. "i didn't know that." she spoke into the glass before the liquid touched her lips. "that's a shame... i'm sure she's probably not with memphis. he's probably not even here, i don't think he even knows riley." devyn tried to backtrack, thinking it'd give wren a bit of peace of mind. "have you tried texting her?"
Wren: Wren smiled a little when the girl started to get red, "It's cool, Valerie's a very casual person" Wren replied. "Yeah, I just don't want to text her a bunch and seem like a loser" he added. He'd been working on keeping things restrained so he wouldn't come off as desperate towards Valerie, he was just so excited that someone actually liked him for once. He didn't know if he'd ever get that again, so he had to move smart about it.
Devyn: devyn rolled her eyes, reaching out to him to pat his arm reassuringly. "not texting your girlfriend would make you a loser, not texting her too much. my boyfriend never texts me, he's the biggest loser i know. if valerie thinks you're a loser for texting too much, then she's dumb and doesn't deserve you as her boyfriend."  it was something so silly to worry about but it also made dev sort of jealous, wanting that from her own boyfriend. "i'd send her a text to let her know where you are so she can find you, cos maybe she's around looking for you."
Wren: "I just don't want to like triple text her" explained Wren, "I text her a lot to begin with" he added. He kind of felt sorry for Devyn, he felt ignored by Valerie a lot too, "I'm sorry your boyfriends not blowing up your phone all the time, ask Val it gets annoying" Wren said with a shrug, "Yeah, maybe. I hope so." said Wren, when he was with Valerie everything was great, it was the in between times that were hard.
Devyn: her nose scrunched up as she shook her head, not wanting him to feel sorry for her for any reason. she didn't like when people took pity on her. "don't be sorry, he's not really the one i want blowing up my phone anyways." she didn't mean to say that, at least not the past part. and when she realized that the thought didn't actually stay in her head, she started laughing at herself , thinking it'd act as some sort of distraction. "anyways, i'm totally down to keep you occupied until she shows up if you want."
Wren: Wren completely acknowledged what she said, but he laughed it off with her just to give her the benefit of the doubt. "Yeah that sounds fun, we should refill my drink that is now your drink, and get me one too" said Wren with a kind smile as he led them towards the drink table on the porch. He took her cup and refilled it with punch and filled up a cup for himself. "Hows cheer going with Kelsey and the whole pregnant thing?" he asked
Devyn: devyn followed along, walking in line with him until they got to the refreshments. when he brought up kelsey, she couldn't help but smile and then laugh. "oh my god, this pregnancy is honestly the greatest thing. coach has basically benched her which probably means she won't be captain anymore chanel is basically next in line," at least in her opinion, "which i'm sort of on the fence about but she'd make a much better captain than kelsey does."
Wren: "I've heard a lot of different opinions" said Wren, "about the cheer captain thing" he clarified. "Don't you want to be captain?" he asked, considering everyone else he had talked to wanted to be captain.
Devyn: devyn didn't know people were actually talking about it, only because she didn't know if the coach was actually going to boot kelsey from the spot or not. she was just about to take a sip when she was asked if she wanted to be captain. instantly, she shook her head. "fuck that, no." she answered bluntly. "nobody on the team even really likes me, nobody would listen to me."
Wren: "I mean there's a big difference between being liked and being respected" Wren replied, "But I also get not wanting to be captain. I'll be happy whoever it is, like whichever of my friends gets it. I don't really have a huge problem with anyone on the team, but I know you guys have a lot of problems with each other ... from what I've been told" Wren continued, shutting himself up to take a long sip of his drink.
Devyn: she tilted her head to the side as she shrugged her shoulders. "well, yeah... she hates me for no reason. she tried to force me into a truce with her and threatened to tell people who my real dad is if i didn't agree." she sort of had loose lips when she drank, that was supposed to be a secret. devyn slowly looked at him, her expression mimicking shock at what she'd just told him. "can we pretend i didn't just say that?"
Wren: Wren was kind of shocked when Devyn let that one slide, "Yeah we can definitely pretend that you didn't just say that" said Wren taking a big gulp of his drink, "Don't worry I'm good with secrets" he replied. He put up his glass to hers, "Cheers?" he said trying to move their conversation past this.
Devyn: she stared at him for a moment, trying to decide whether or not she wanted to give him some sort of explanation but really, she didn't even know a whole lot of details. she knew just what happened and the name of her biological father. "thanks," devyn flashed him an awkward smile before taking a large gulp from her cup. "what are we cheering for?"
Wren: "For keeping secrets, and for not making me choose who I support for captain ... because I don't want to have to pick" said Wren, he liked Devyn a lot, she was really sweet. He'd heard a lot of stuff, but she was probably just confused between the two guys, and she was clearly hurting on a lot of fronts.
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despiteherself · 5 years
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somewhat spoiler-y thoughts under the cut. don’t keep reading if you don’t want to see stuff about httyd3
okay. so overall i actually enjoyed httyd3 (surprising; i know). i do have lots and lots of complaints but the stuff i liked was exciting and interesting enough that i sort of just blacked out the bad stuff. and i’m going to love picking that stuff apart bc boy was there some cringy shit. especially if you don’t like hiccstrid, their scenes with actual relationship talk were awkward and wooden and god. the ending was SO :/ 
actual spoilers from here on out. you’ve been warned. 
grimmel was a lot more compelling as a villain. they sort of gave him a backstory thing and it kind of ruined it a bit for me bc it was basically “i killed a night fury as a boy and my village loved me for it so i killed all of them” but idk something about it was lacking and i was like. oh. did you guys not care enough to flesh this one out. actually, writing it down it sounds way better motivation than when he actually said it even tho it’s basically the same thing.
the deathgrippers were being controlled! grimmel was using their venom to mind control them, so any “alpha talk” didn’t get through to them and they did exactly what grimmel wanted. 
and hiccup didn’t give a shit lol. these dragons were constantly being drugged via needles in their head/neck and being forced to hunt and attack and carry grimmel around and hiccup didn’t even feel a little bit sorry for them or express any pain. the whole movie was kinda “wow ppl don’t deserve dragons we need to save them” but he didn’t express any empathy for dragons being used? not many were shown in this movie to be used, and even less that hiccup saw, but idk the whole “let the things you love go!” didn’t congeal well. 
further more, he made several terrible decisions for the entirety of berk, including running away to find the hidden world, which they had no proof even existed and absolutely kept walking exactly into everything grimmel wanted, but when ruff did it (after she was “captured” and let go she flies straight back the place they’ve settled leading grimmel back to new berk) it felt like it was being played as a WAY worse thing. like she was an idiot for doing it, and it was just! hiccup. every decision you’ve made has been panicked and blind and made your position worse and worse. 
gobber, valka and eret all get a little screen time, and they all play the naysayer stoick part? like “hiccup this is dangerous” and hiccup completely ignores them. them: hiccup we have advice hiccup: ok cool im not listening and i don’t want to hear it. they don’t even get to really explain their points of view ??????? 
valka’s other stuff is “oh we might have been followed leaving berk” and then her being all “astrid do u still love and believe in my son?????” what “he’ll listen to u” uhm ??? and no one else i get? ?/ they literally do not talk except about hiccup
gobber’s scene where he tells hiccup to marry astrid is so weird and awkward and only tuffnut yelling “oh no not the m word!” had anything that made it better. noah fence but astrid was all “that’s weird and awkward of you” and tells hiccup she thinks they’re “not ready for marriage” and the idea is silly and it 100% sounds like she’s not interested in him at all. and he’s obviously super invested and he’s all “haha maybe you can have snotlout” she makes “jokes” about snotlout being into valka. it was.... 
also. he ONLY mentioned snotlout when saying there’s other guys and idk. it ..... idk now i think about it it maybe feels the “joke” is kinda who would want snotlout which :/ but i guess means tuff and fishlegs are valid suitors? i don’t know 
hiccup in the whole was pretty weak tbh. like he didn’t stand out for me and most of his plot felt like it had a bunch of good ideas but they struggled putting it together. it’s like when u see a fic and u love the general idea but the execution is not how u would, and they go on and it’s like. i really really wouldn’t have 
they weirdly anthropomorphise toothless and then also. have him act like a dog and i found it disconcerting 
the light fury is genuinely super blobby and ugly and i cna’t believe they made me watch SO much of “uwuw sexy seductress” content and toothless being a complete airhead who licks a rock to “practice” for it. was weird and i was uncomfortable. 
also astrid is all “wow toothless has a girlfriend its so cute !!!!!!!” and they watch him watch other dragons doing mating dances and hiccup is like ‘i never pegged you for a romantic, like never” like get a fuckign hint !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she never kisses you on the cheek. astrid expressing sentiment cause she thinks something is romantic but never for your relationship is telling you A LOT about it 
honestly. they don’t do anything to make me convinced in ANY WAY that astrid is actually into him and wants to marry him for real. at their wedding she is SO wooden and when they kiss hiccup brings his hand up but astrid is just STANDING there,,, and they look so blank. it’s so. 
also. i was right astrid was mostly just a prop for hiccup’s story and she barely interacts with anyone that isn’t hiccup or valka, and when it’s valka it’s about hiccup. 
aside from toothless, and a little bit of stormfly, the gang’s dragons are mostly just. in the background and don’t really have anything to do with anything
behind everything there were this warlords, i didn’t pick up names and apparently they were the ones who were funding drago or whatever? and they call grimmel in bc he cares about killing night furies and are hoping that it’ll mean they get all the dragons. it was kinda. i sort of liked the idea but i felt it was shoved in, and they just mentioned drago to make it seem like it was planned when they came out of nowhere. and idk not planned at all. like an idea that was good but they didn’t edit everything to make sure it fit. a lot of stuff felt kind retcon-y like apparently stoick was “obsessed with finding the hidden world” and he even mentions in a flash back that it’s not the nest they’re looking for in httyd1 so it’s so weird like. and there was this ~journals~ stoick had about it and it’s just! they never ever mentioned this before gfhsdfjhdfgjdfgfdg guys. that’s so fucking messy and kinda annoying. in the grand scheme this retconning isn’t too much, but it’s enough that it’s like. none of this was planned and i can tell and instead of making it match up you just bluster through like “actually this always happened” as if u think i’m a dumbass who will just blindly believe whatever you tell me instead of a long time fan with a personal involvement.i know some of u read my blog,,, come on   
i didn’t cry at all like lol. i had fun but i wasn’t emotional. 
no characters die don’t worry
ruff was PERFECT and everything she did was wnoderful and i LOVE her so much! she got to speak A LOT and she’s all “it’s so tough being this hot” i love you girl, and she’s over eret and is like “wow he missed out” and talks about snotlout and fishlegs which was :///// but the guys don’t do the whole fighting over her thing so that’s! and she’s like “i guess fishlegs but he’s a nerd” and at the end he cries at the wedding and she’s like “wow i guess the sensitive guy wins” so a lot of her stuff was kinda about men ://// but herself was PERFECT and she boops grimmel’s face with the bobble ends of her hair pretending they’re a zippleback. she makes jokes about why is grimmel’s face so long, and her’s is long but WOW does that take the cake. and she says “astrid round face” it was so !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she’s so good i love her 
rupple does a good job with tuff. the voice difference was noticeable and i kept thinking about it but i think he did well. tuff gets a bunch of speaking parts and he’s super involved with the whole wedding concept and he’s like “haha wow hiccy, a DOES NOT WANT to get married 2 u LOL. which is #tru cause like. she’s a viking warrior queen and you’re well you. you need to shape up. also. be more like me” which i will TAKE i cannot believe tuffstrid is REAL. also now im about 80% convinced hiccup and astrid took a break to see other ppl and tuffstrid fucked. tuff and astrid don’t really interact except for when they leave ruff behind but they KEEP on doing this whole, vibe thing that makes them seem like they’re good friends. like. tuff thinking he knows what astrids want or admires and he actually goes and all his advice/pep talk is like half leg jokes but it’s all good????? tuff has ear piercings, they’re SO on point they look so good, and he’s got rings all over his fingers i love this kid so much he’s so great. he calls his braid his beard and whenever anyone looks a little sad he like, shoves their face into his braid to comfort them.
also tuff says there’s no edge of the world cause actually it’s round like the sun and the moon and stars, even tho stars are dumb. 
i was right fishlegs’ first sentence is basically them all going “wow a nerd” akdshgfkdjghfg. he doesn’t get as much screen time as the others, and most of it is focused on fishmeat, who is ADORABLE and PERFECT. that big moose dragon meets fishmeat at the start and they become bffs and he defends his lil buddy
snotlout’s also not as much screen time, and most of it is him following valka around and being impressed with her and wanting her to say nice things about him. the rest is him getting caught on his cape. valka says nice stuff about eret cause he’s actually good at this planning stuff (except one bit thats played for jokes where snotlout is like “we should spilt up cause *good reasons*” and then eret is like “we should spilt up cause i feel like it” and valka’s all “i trust your instincts!!!!”. it was weird bc it was the only really good tactical decision snotlout made and it gets ignored) and he keeps getting his ego pumped up when he takes what valka says wrong - like she’s being polite, or there’s double meanings and he takes it like he’s good but all he did was get caught on a cage and hung there until hookfang picked him up - and at the end she says “eret maybe brawn, but you’re the brains” and snotlout feels validated again but he doesn’t really deserve it? like idk i wish she said something meaningful. it’s not kind to make someone feel like they’re good at something they’re not. you should encourage him when he’s doing well. 
eret is just kinda. around. doing things. and being like, snotlout’s “rival” for valka’s attention and eret is like. what are you on about lmao
also. i’ve seen some out of context spoilers and they mentioned something being gay but i don’t know where that’s from? snotlout kinda says some great things about eret but it’s a real squint and gobber says eret has the body of a norse god but then he says he does as well and then puts a crick in back when he’s stretching so it’s very clearly a joke and it’s definitely like ‘he’s fat and old and dirty its funny cause he thinks he’s attractive” rather than anything else
hmmMMmmMMMMM god ive forgotten what i’ve talked about and what i haven’t im sure i have more to say but this is already super long os. you can ask me questions if u like. send me an im or something 
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Mike and The Creature: chapter 3: prison cage
TW: body horror, unreality
read my bio for more info! enjoy! fic under the cut
Chapter 3: Prison Cage
Brick finished up his feeding duties in a blur, not caring about any of the other anomalies. It had been a long time since someone was so warm towards him, so human… It was almost like he was free again. He couldn’t wait for another excuse to see his friend. He trotted, almost skipping, into his room and brushed his teeth swiftly and carelessly, and went to sleep without another word, early this time. He needed his rest after last night.
It was cold in its cell. It wasn’t anything like it had experienced before. Humans have never captured it and put it in a cell of this level of coldness, of cleanness… The food was terrible. All it could do was mutter and screech mixtures of different human languages, growling and hissing, staring wistfully at the eternally high ceiling of its prison cage. It wasn’t sad, it was beyond sadness. It didn’t ache for freedom, it was beyond aching. But something felt uneasy with The Creature. It felt antsy, and full of charged energy… and it was sure it would be able to escape if it wanted to, only to be captured again…
It didn’t hear a sound, but he was there…
Mike ran his hand along the fence, walking slowly across the dirt road, being cautious of any sharp nails or splinters, clouds of dust kicking up with every gentle footstep. He took a deep breath in, and felt a peaceful feeling in his stomach. He took another look at the countryside, imagining himself in an airplane above the world, subconsciously taking step after step into the dusk. Then he heard it. A small tune, something he recognised, like a tiny cry for help, or something he heard on the radio when he was 13, or possibly just a tune played by a teddy bear music box. He tilted his ear towards the sound.
“free me… save me…” He heard a tiny plea for freedom. But it didn’t seem like the sound was coming from one specific place, it was almost like it was coming from everywhere at once, but very faint. His eyes were drawn to the very faint outline of a yellowish brick building that he had never seen before on this road.
“That’s weird.” He said aloud, and kept walking, whistling the tune he had heard. He decided against going into the building, but decided that he would go check it out the next morning, before it gets too dark. He would have to skip work, though, and he had already taken a lot of sick days… The urge to go to that building was too strong to pass up. He went home to his bed, and his alarm clock, and slept. And he slept.
It was another morning for Brick. He woke up on his cot, about 15 minutes from when his alarm clock was going to go off, and he brushed his teeth in silence, the dark circles around his eyes still present, but fainter. He splashed water on his face, and when he looked in the silver mirror, he saw a smile glued to his face. He didn’t know why- exactly, but he had an idea. He sat on his cot, enveloped by silence, but this time it was a warm, comfortable silence that enveloped him. He couldn’t wait to get his assignment.
“All D-class workers report to your respective quadrants to receive your daily assignments immediately.” Right on time.
He trotted down the empty hall, nodding at a worker who crossed his path. He looked confused, and continued walking without another word. Brick’s footsteps slowed and color rose to his face. He was acting silly and he didn’t even realize he had basically been skipping like a little lovestruck girl down the hallway of what was basically something out of a sci-fi horror novel. He scratched the back of his head. He reached the counter and greeted the woman.
“Name?” She said, a deadpan expression on her face.
“Brick MacArthur.” He said, the urge to salute and say “Reporting for duty!” again strong in his mind. But he didn’t.
The woman silently handed him a folder with his name labeled on it. Brick walked away, this time a professional, but still very shame-filled march. He didn’t wanna be caught sauntering down the hallway with the confidence of a seventh grade boy who just got asked out on a date by the prettiest girl in school.
He arrived in his room and scanned the paper for his assignment.
“Cleaning and sanitizing duty…” He said aloud, almost too loud. Damn it! That means cleaning up the bathrooms… But it also means cleaning up the cells that need cleaning. That means… Will he be assigned the even numbers or the odds? He scanned the paper again.
“Even numbers.” It read, and Brick’s heart fluttered. 716! He really felt like jumping up and down now.
He had never done cleaning duty before. Was it going to be difficult? was he going to get to talk to his friend? He didn’t know, but in that moment, he was happy. He read the instructions thoroughly, and got to work. He started by pouring the sharp smelling liquid on the ground of the bathrooms, scrubbing them mindlessly until they shined so bright he could see his reflection in them.
He moved on the the cells. The danger class anomalies had already been sealed off in a separate containment unit, and most of the rooms needed serious maintenance. He scrubbed and scrubbed the tiles and threw away wrappers and replaced toiletries until his hands were aching and rubbed raw.
The last room he had to clean. 716. He pushed open the door and hoped for the best.
716-E was in bed, staring at the high ceiling. He perked up when he heard the door open, and sat up in a sitting position almost immediately. He smiled when he saw it was someone he recognised, and Brick’s face couldn't un-smile itself. Brick wasn’t sure if it was the cleaning chemicals making his brain high or if he was just happy. He scratched the back of his head.
“H-hey, 71-.. Noah!” Brick said.
“What’s with the goofy smile?” 716-E asked, raising one eyebrow. “Are you happy to see me or just gassy?”
Brick laughed, and laughed, for the first time in what felt like forever.
“I’m just here for cleaning duty.” He said, gesturing towards his mop and pail. He looked around the room. The bedsheets and tile were covered in weird melted skin material, due to the nature of 716-E’s anomaly. He needed to take back samples for analysis, and he needed samples of both old and new skin matter.
“Noah, I’d hate to bother you, but can i see your arm?” Brick said, after a short, but still awkward silence. He got skin samples with an eyedropper, put them in his case, and started to clearing out all excess matter.
“So, how’s life as a field worker treatin’ ya?” 716-E said nonchalantly.
“It’s fine, i guess. Sometimes supervisors can be a little.. S-scary, hah,” Brick said. “But I’m sure it’s not as bad as what you’re going through!” He reassured him.
“No, no. It’s okay in here. Not as bad as the car ride here anyway.” 716-E said.
“How long have you been here again? 3, 4 days?” Brick asked.
“Actually a few weeks.” He answered. “It’s been boring around here. Good to see someone so nice here though.”
“N-nice?” Brick said, his face flushing. “It’s nice to see someone who actually acts like a regular human being here. For a while i forgot what it was like to just have a normal conversation with someone.”
716-E chuckled. “Yeah.”
There was another silence, but this time it was long and comfortable, and warm. He finished up cleaning and left the room with a fuzzy feeling, this time even softer than before.
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yoolee · 6 years
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Ye Massive Tag-back Post
I have been tagged in stuff. I am slow. Apologies for anyone tagged in this XD
5 facts about me that literally know one needs to know
(tagged by @saizoswifey​)
I get weirdly nervous in grocery checkout lines: I have no idea why. I don’t know if it’s like, the feeling of being trapped in a narrow space (if there’s someone behind you and ahead of you), or the like, awkward social chitchat that I am SUPER BAD AT or what but I get weird. I HAAAATE that the nearest grocery store to me does not have self check-out, and I put off grocery shopping to the last minute. I can improvise a speech in front of a crowd of hundreds, I can jump off high ladders, like, I’m not a naturally nervous person I swear I’m not. But grocery stores...
I once broke into an Irish autorepair shop: Sort of. It’s kind of a long story, but when I was a student in Cork like…8 years ago, they told me to stick to the flatlands and I took a wrong turn and got lost up in the hills and I kinda felt like these two guys who kind of showed up behind me were following me. I did the whole ‘take a couple of right turns’ and it went from two to four guys and I was getting more and more lost and just like NOOOOPE. And then there was trash can on fire and so I like, half-slid down a little cliff, and snuck through/over a chained shut fence and into what turned out to be a repair shop. There were three older guys sitting there eating pizza, and they just blinked at me so I burst out that hey, there was a trash can on fire (like that’s a reasonable reason to bust in, right?). They asked me if I was the one who set it on fire, I said no, they gave me pizza, we waited for the fire brigade. GOOD TIMES. That was the start of a super, super weird 72 hours.
I despise bananas in smoothies: DESPISE. They POLLUTE them, CONTAMINATING everything with awful, horrid, banana-ness. They are smoothie-ruiners. RUINERS. AWFUL, HORRIBLE, TERRIBAD INGREDIENTS OF EVIL. I like banana bread, and my mom’s banana cake, and can sometimes tolerate a banana-nut muffin, but they have no place in my strawberry-raspberry smoothies and they are intolerably smushy on their own. SHUDDER.
I have done a lot of super random jobs at least once: I’ve been a chemist, taught ballet to 6 year olds and figure skating to teens with special needs, charity auctioneer, corn shucker, lighting booth operator, teaching assistant, princess, storyteller, tutor, dining hall worker, medical transcriptionist, editor, corporate recruiter, automated tutorial/phone recording voice, corporate trainer, historical docent, term paper writer, contortionist, martial arts event coordinator, bookseller, video game voice, snake venom analyst (really that and perfumer were subsets of being a chemist, but, worth the callouts), there’s more but like, the list is long and random.
Last time I was in the airport a kid told me I was eating string cheese wrong. I told him that’s how string cheese is eaten on Mars. I recognize none of this make sense, it was 5 AM.
I’m gonna tag @han-pan​, @karalija​, @mylittlecornerofotome​ aaaand @jane-runs-fast​! No obligation >>;;;
2017 Creator Tag
(tagged by @dear-mrs-otome​ and @wonky-glass-ornament​)
Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works you’ve created this year (fics, art, edits, etc!) and link them below (say why if you want) to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world in 2017. Tag as many writers/artists/etc as you want (fan or original!) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works. <3
Six Wins and Draw This mostly gets to be here because it had a bunch of characters I had never written before! It was fun to write just a quick few paragraphs (if that) for them. I’d like to do something like this again, because it was much easier than trying to force something standalone for a group I’m not as comfortable with the characterization on.
Compliments I really like fluff. I like communication, and silliness, and sweetness. @juniperotome​ helped tremendously with this piece, but it really turned out to be one of my favs. I actually prefer this to Burn Down, which was fun and which I do like and was the other contender for this slot, but when I put them side by side, I like this one.
THE WAFFLE COTTAGE CHRONICLES (there’s more) This had been rattling in my head since 2016, but I didn’t post this until January 2017. This was my first headcanon shoving ALL OF THE LORDS into a single story. I recognize that it is very American-mindset-centric, but the sheer satisfaction of brain-dumping the beast was cathartic.I wrote 5000+ words in bullet point form in One Single Sitting and just, it was fun. I still think this is hilarious, even if it has issues.
Lick Your Wounds I still have lingering problems with this piece. And there’s a sort of dual fact thing going on - it could be so much better, but it is also the best that I have done, imo. Those are both facts to me. At this point, it’s a very frustrating piece to deal with XD but even when I am not entirely happy with it, I am very happy and very very touched by the response it has gotten, and so it gets a place. #makepuppyhappy
Scraps UGH THIS FIFTH SLOT. I mean. There’s no question this goes to a Kai group piece. I love writing the Kai group, it’s the most comfortable and it comes the most easily. I don’t like writing modern aus but they just sort of vomit out with these characters in a very love-hate way (I love that they have the opportunity to be happy without the specter of history looming, that’s about it – it’s complicated to explain). 
IkeSen Tag
(tagged by @dear-mrs-otome​)
Top 3 Warlords in order: Sasuke Nobunaga Kenshin
Favorite Moment in the game so far OH MAN. HMM. I am going to be unoriginal and echo Mrs O – Nobunaga being a matchmaking troll is A+, but I do also love KEnshin and Shingen’s letter to Nobunaga in the ES where MC starts with them but falls in love with Nobu and they are basically like, be nice to her and let her come visit or DEATH TO YOU
Who has the best hair Masamune (Shingen & Hideyoshi have the worst /sigh)
Which voice do you like the most? MRS O I SWEAR I AM NOT COPYING but Kenshin/Mitsuhide are flat tied. Whispery and low, swoooon
Who do you think you are most compatible with? None of ‘em. I enjoy watching their romance unfold with story MC, but as actual self, there are zero combos that would work out favorably for both parties based on what I’ve seen so far.
Which warlord appeals to your aesthetics? Sasuke. Dude. Sasuke.  
Which warlord makes you the most frustrated? Hmmm! Tough to say. Maybe Kennyo? Only because it’s seems from what we’ve seen that he is very much going against himself for some reason, and it’s hurting him and that is silly. Don’t do that.
Who would you swear loyalty to, the Oda forces, the Uesugi-Takeda forces, or Third Party forces? NNNNNGH. Oda. If I HAD to. Only because there’s a stronger sense of long-term stability and history. But ideally, none of the above. I would be NEUTRAL TERRITORY opening up a little seamstress shop somewhere in the middle that also serves tea and everyone is welcome to come have snacks, tea and fittings but only if they don’t fight XD (or at least take it outside, and no one dies)
BONUS: Mrs O’s Q: If you had to tell one warlord what happened to them in your own original timeline, who would it be and why? Nobunaga. Because what happened to him can’t yet come to pass in his timeline, so it’s moot. He’s shown to accept knowledge with aplomb so I don’t think it would send him into an existential spiral. He could handle it.
My question for anyone who does this – Which lord would make the best roommate?
Music Tag
(tagged by @skullbygloy100​ @dear-mrs-otome​ @wonky-glass-ornament​)
I only have two ways of enjoying music – passively not even noticing what’s on in the background and actively listening to the same song for literal and actual hours on repeat
Passes by Helen Jane Long – I literally listen to this on repeat for hours. HOURS.
Blood // Water by grandson
Cows on the Hill by Jay Ungar
Nowhere to run by Boga
Todo Comienza En La Disco by Wisin ft. Yandel & Daddy Yankee 
Dusk Till Dawn  by Zayn ft. Sia – but basically, anything with Sia
Shark in the Water by VV Brown – this is my Yukkin song lolol
Waterbound by the Fretless ft. Ruth Moody
Wait for It by Leslie Odom Jr 
Clair de Lune by Debussy – performed by literally anyone
ANYONE WHO WANTS TO DO ANY OF THE THINGS just tag me <3 And those of you who tagged me - thank you thank you! This was fun
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vthiker09 · 5 years
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A Gimpy Kid’s Book Review
When you are forced to spend time on the couch and movement becomes something you only do when absolutely necessary, you find yourself with piles of free time.  At first, I filled said free time with horror movies.  Halloween being my favorite holiday, it only made sense to cheer myself up via my favorite movie genre.  Quite quickly, however, I realized my six to eight hour daily horror movie habit, was in fact, mind numbing and made me feel worse about my overall situation.  
I dabbled in a variety of arts and crafts, including: swear word coloring books, adult coloring books, paint-by-number, figurine painting, and knitting.  I also spent way too much time on Facebook and did my fair share of crossword puzzles and word searches.  It was probably the only time Mike would say “want to play a board game?” and my answer would always be “YES!” 
Despite my attempts to replace the outdoors with much more mundane activities, I was left with time to fill.  I remembered at some point, before graduate school, I liked to read.  Graduate school ruined reading for me via a unreasonable number of pages per week.  When I graduated, I was free from the massive pile of sometimes wildly boring reading assignments and I took said freedom, as a pass to basically never read a book again.
My long periods of forced couch time over the last two and half years, have reminded me, I do in fact like to read.  Perhaps a silver lining of an otherwise abysmal experience, I started to read again and kept doing it.  Below are the books I’ve read since I hurt myself and my general thoughts about each.  I hope you find something you would like to read!
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What is it about: Roxane Gay was gang raped as a child.  To cope with the trauma, she gained weight.  To her, it was a way to protect herself, because society tells us heavy people aren’t desirable. She details her lifelong struggle with PTSD, obesity, relationships and how society sees and treats her as a obese, female, queer, person of color.
My thoughts: I LOVE THIS BOOK!  It’s an intense read and can be triggering.  At the same time, it’s such a well constructed, honest, and raw look at how we look at trauma and more so, how we treat obese people.  It connects her experience as a trauma survivor, with her experiences with racism, sexism, and sizeism in such a perfect and often times disturbing way.  I cannot recommend this book enough.  This was also the first book I read when I got hurt.  It holds a special place in my reading heart.
Gimpy Kid Five Star Rating: 5/5
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What is it about: John Hodgman is a comedian.  The book is about how he grew up in a working household, who often struggled, and his transition from just making it, to having a vacation home in a wealthy town in Maine.  
What I thought about it: It’s a comical exploration into class in America.  He writes about the silly things he used to do as a youth and the equal number of silly class based practices, he sees as a wealthy person.  He takes a critical look at both the working class and the ultra-wealthy.  He also writes about “belonging” and what it’s like to transition from one class to another and to feel like you don’t fit-in.  
Gimpy Kid Five Star Rating: 4/5
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What is it about: It challenges the concept that Millennials are a lazy, entitled group of brats and explains how they are, in fact, screwed in many ways.  It focuses on the economy and discusses everything from student loans, to the job market, to internships, to helicopter parenting, to benefits, to buying a house, to the environment. 
What I thought about it: As a Millennial, I thought “finally! someone who gets it!”  At the same time, I thought “This all sucks!”  It’s a good exploration into the financial and life ruin we setup young people for.  It blows apart the idea that if you “try,” you’ll end up with 2.5 kids, a white picket fence, and a house on a col-de-sac.  I found it to be both affirming and disheartening.  The end outlines a few action steps, but when you spend a couple hundred pages detailing how bad it is, 20 pages outlining how to make it better, doesn’t really do the trick.
Gimpy Kid Five Star Rating: 3.5/5
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What is it about:  Michael Finkel is a journalist, who attempts to write about Christopher Knight.  Christopher lived in the woods in rural Maine for several decades - by choice.  It details both his relationship with Christopher and how Christopher survived living outside for so long.  It also explores why Christopher chose to become a hermit, in the first place, and his struggle to assimilate back into society.
What I thought about it: I LOVED THIS BOOK! and I found it to be really sad.  I appreciated the author didn’t straight out say Christopher was a mentally ill person, who fell under the radar for a couple of decades.  At the same time, it was hard to read about someone who purposely opted out of society and then was forced back into it.  It’s an interesting look into the idea there are people out there who don’t want a car, a house, or a job, and are actually happy living in the woods - and this is okay.  It’s a challenge to what we see as “normal,” honors Christopher’s life, and the complexity of his choices.
Gimpy Kid Five Star Rating: 5/5
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What is it about: Rebecca Solnit is an activist and a writer.  This book is a collection of several essays she’s written.  “Men explain things to me,” is one of the essays in the book and explains the concept of mansplaning.  It starts with a story about how someone, who didn’t know who she was, tried to explain her own book to her at a party.  The other essays look at various areas of feminism, including the institution of marriage, sexual violence, war, racially fueled sexism, and how misogynistic norms are strongly embed into our society.
What I thought about it: She is a great writer and everything in this book is true and important. Everyone should understand these truths and should work to change them, as she outlines, so clearly, how destructive they are.  At the same time, nothing in this book was new to me.  I felt myself saying “YEAH!” but not learning anything new.  I’m not sure this is a reason to not read this book.  It’s a well written collection of feminist essays.
Gimpy Kid Five Star Rating: 4/5
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What is it about: It’s a graphic novel about the author’s relationship with her father.  It starts with her as a young child and goes through his death. 
What I thought about it: The author is a Vermonter and I like to support people who live in Vermont.  As a queer identified, it focuses heavily on her experience as a queer youth, coming out, and her thoughts on her father’s sexuality.  She didn’t have a good relationship with her parents and I wouldn’t say it’s a happy book.  She also explores her challenges with mental illness, relationships, and becoming an author.  I don’t know if I would say I liked this book, mostly because I don’t think I like the author.  I find her to be arrogant and a little too neurotic for my taste.
Gimpy Kid Five Star Rating: 3/5
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What is it about: It’s a graphic novel about the author’s relationship with her mother.  It’s a sequel to “Fun Home,” which I talk about above.
What I thought about it: It’s a less interesting version of “Fun Home.” I didn’t enjoy it.
Gimpy Kid 5 Star Rating: 2/5  
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What is it about: It’s a fictional story about a women’s experience with deciding whether to have weight loss surgery or not.  It’s meant to be a commentary on sizeism, the diet industry, and how awfully we treat people who are overweight.
What I thought about it: I enjoyed it.  It’s a good look at how awful we are to overweight people and in how many different ways.  It’s critical of the weight loss industry, fad diets, and weight loss surgery. I found the end to be a little weird, but overall, I liked it.
Gimpy Kid 5 Star Rating: 3.5/5
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What is it about: It’s a beginner’s guide to meditation, for people who don’t do yoga or drink soy matcha lates. 
What I thought about it: Well, I never started to mediate - so it was not life changing.  At the same time, it made mediation approachable and this is coming from someone who often times vehemently rejects things I believe are “hipster.”  It makes a good case for the health benefits associated with mediation, gives you a clear plan to start, and takes out much of the touchy-feely side of meditation.  Mike got this for me when I was not a happy camper, thinking it might help.  If you aren’t into yoga, essential oils, or have no idea what chakras are, this is a good book - if you want to start to meditate.
Gimpy Kid 5 Star Rating: 3.5/5
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What is it about: It’s a collection of Oatmeal comics.
What I thought about it: If you like the Oatmeal, you’ll like the book.  It’s funny.
Gimpy Kid 5 Star Rating: 4/5
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What is it about: Christian Picciolini was a high level skinhead.  The book details how he became a skinhead, what he did while he was a skinhead, and how he got out of that lifestyle. Since writing the book, he started a non-profit, which helps other people get out of this lifestyle.
What I thought about this book: I really liked it.  It, at points, is hard to read.  He is honest about what he did as a skinhead and all of it is horrible.  It’s quite violent at times.  At the same time, it’s an honest look about how these groups recruit new members, groom them, and eventually rope them in.  It relates skinhead groups closely to tactics used by gangs.  It’s also an honest look at someone who did awful things and managed to change.  Reading about someone who had such toxic views about race and truly reformed, is refreshing given our current political climate.  It’s an example of how people can change, no matter how “far gone,” they may appear to be.
Gimpy Kid 5 Star Rating: 5/5
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What is it about: It’s a comic series named the Awkward Yeti.  The Yeti is the main character and all the other characters are the Yeti’s body parts.  It personifies their body parts and each comic explores something we can all relate to, when it comes to our body.  For example, the intestines are grumpy and talk about how tongue and brain make him do so much work.  His tag-line is “soon!”  Tongue is a villain who makes brain eat everything awful for the Yeti.  Eyes are bros who just like to lift weights all day.  Gallbladder does nothing other than make gallstones and says “I maked these.”
What I thought about the books: This is my favorite comic series.  I think I started to like it  more when I was struggling with my body.  I could imagine my little tendons dancing around and my stomach being like “NO MORE TYLENOL!”  I also relate strongly to heart, who is impulsive and motivated to do everything.  The relationship between heart and brain is interesting, because although heart is impulsive and often times doesn’t follow-through, heart motivates brain to relax and see the brighter side of life.  At the same time, brain keeps heart in line.
Gimpy Kid Five Star Rating: 5/5 - I even own a heart plushy!
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What is it about: It’s an essay about how feminism is not a “woman’s cause” and how we should all care.  The title basically explains the book.
What I thought about the book: I 100% agree with everything in it.  It’s well written and I feel the same way about this book, as I did about “When Men Explain Things to Me” - I didn’t learn anything new.  At the same time, I feel like every white male should read it.
Gimpy Kid Five Star Rating: 4/5
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What is it about: It’s a women’s empowerment piece written by a writer for Dad’s Magazine/Elle columnist and a writer who does a bunch of critical pieces about pop-culture.  The book basically dispels all the pressure women put on themselves, to fit a particular socially created mold, and encourages women to be more supportive - since we are all part of the same “coven.” 
What I thought about it: It’s a fun and superficial look at how destructive pop-culture is.  It’s an interesting read, especially if you love everything about Halloween and feminism.  There are reviews which are really bad, because it actually has little to do with witchcraft.  It uses the fundamentals of witchcraft to challenge pop-culture and encourage women to be themselves.  It’s not really trying to be a book about becoming a witch.
Gimpy Kid Five Star Review: 3.5/5
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What is it about: It takes 10 minutes to read and it’s one of those life quote books.  It’s a book for adults.
What I thought about it: I LOVE THE COOKIE MONSTER! It’s written from their perspective and talks a bunch about how cookies make life better.  It’s just a fun read for Cookie Monster lovers.
Gimpy Kid Five Star Rating: 5/5 only if you love the Cookie Monster
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What is it about: It’s about a black teen (Starr) who lives in the ghetto, sees her black best friend get shot by a white cop, dates a white boy, and goes to an expensive private school - where she is one of two black students.  It explores the challenges she faces as a black youth who goes between “ghetto life” and “rich white people life” and looks closely at the complexity of race relations in America, with a clear focus on racially driven police brutality. 
What I thought about it:  If you have ever uttered the words "all lives matter" or "blue lives matter," read this book. If you didn't vote in the last election or believe politics is something you can opt out of, read this book. If you've made a racist joke in the last 10 years, read this book. If you don't think racism or the impact of racially driven police brutality is real, read this book. Even if you are a politically active, socially responsible, white ally, you should still read this book. It should basically be required reading for every white person.
Gimpy Kid Five Star Rating: 5/5
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What is it about: Holly Madison was a Playboy Bunny for a long time.  She lived in the Playboy Mansion with Hue Hefner.  The book is a tell-all about what it was like to be in the Mansion and live with and date Hue.
What I thought about it: I really liked this book.  Holly blows apart the concept of the “dumb blonde.”  She writes a detailed expose into how awful Hue Hefner was.  She clearly explains how he abused his “girlfriends.”  It’s a in-depth look into the complexity of domestic violence, tactics used by abusers, and is written by someone who supposedly “had it all.”  It also challenges more militant feminists to honor the experiences of people who engage in behaviors, which are seen as counter to the feminist agenda. 
Gimpy Kid 5 Star Rating: 4.5/5
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What is it about: It’s a self-help book written by a blogger.  It focuses on concepts like: saying no, being okay with failing and learning from it, being okay with being wrong, the concept of choice, and how the perpetual race for “happiness” is crap.
What I thought about it: I bought it in an airport on my way to NYC, mainly because of the title.  I like the overall concept of letting things go and trying to stop living up to socially created ideals of happiness, which are all bullshit.  It’s definitely for those of us who are a little more bitter about life.  At the same time, it’s not a bitter book.  It takes bitter people concepts and uses them as a way to let people live life in a more free and less stressful way.  I wouldn’t say it’s life changing, but it’s interesting.  The guy is also a little bit of an asshole and as a fellow slight asshole, I can appreciate this.
Gimpy Kid 5 Star Rating: 3.5/5
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What is it about:  Porchoista has lime disease. It’s details her horrific experiences with the American Healthcare system, when it came to getting a diagnosis and appropriate care.
What I thought about it: We all know, at this point, I think the American Healthcare system has epic room for improvement.  I found this book to be comforting, because basically all the ways I’ve written about how Healthcare is America is awful, she also experienced.  I also found it to be terrifying, because a small part of me hoped what I experienced is not the norm.  If some day I write a book, it’ll be like this book.  It made me feel mad and sad on Porochista’s behalf, she had to struggle for so long, just to get better.  It’s a comprehensive look at dismissive doctors, the horrendous state of women’s healthcare, and pill happy doctors - and the wreckage this can create.  It should be required reading for all healthcare workers.
Gimpy Kid 5 Star Review: 5/5
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What is it about: Samantha Irby is a comedian/blogger/writer.  It’s a collection of essays about her take on life, which are really funny.  It’s an honest look at her experience living with IBS, dating, and being an obese black person in NYC.
What I think about it: You know those things we want to say about life and never say?  Well she says them - all of them.  It’s a hilarious and raw look at some of life’s most embarrassing life moments.  I found myself saying “YES!” while laughing and being a little terrified.  It’s a book any, slightly bitter, young woman can relate to.
Gimpy Kid 5 Star Rating: 4/5
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What is it about: It’s memoir about her life before the Mindy Project.
What I thought about it: It’s well written and I like her.  If you like her as a comedian, you’ll like the book.  It mainly looks at how she became a writer and her time at The Office.  It’s not fantastic, but again, if you like her, you’ll like the book.
Gimpy Kid 5 Star Rating: 3/5
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What is it about: It’s a collection of short descriptions of monsters across the world.  They are mainly folklore or the monsters your parents tell you about to keep you doing bad things.
What I thought about it: It took 10 minutes to read and I like Halloween.  Mike got it for me when I was having a bad day.  It did it’s job i.e. it cheered me up.  The illustrations are really well done and there are a couple of interesting monsters.  Enera is my favorite.
Gimpy Kid 5 Star Rating: 3/5
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What is it about: It looks at the Hillbilly culture in Northern Kentucky and the author’s experience growing up in a poverty stricken part of Ohio.
What I thought about it: I hate this book.  The author becomes a lawyer and graduates from Yale.  He uses this as a platform to say “Look at me! I grew up in crappy conditions and still made something of myself.”  He blames people for perpetuating systemic poverty and basically confirms everything conservatives say about “welfare queens.”  Although J.D. had a really tough childhood and no child should have to experience what he did and I’m really glad it all worked out for him - I think his book lacks insight regarding the complexity of systemic poverty and I wish he didn’t write it.  I mainly kept reading hoping I was missing something and it would get better - it never did.
Gimpy Kid 5 Star Rating: 0/5
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dolgelo · 7 years
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@shadowsboxer  wished  for  a  dance  lesson
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    as she positioned herself right in the center of the vast, now empty space of the silent command room, her back straightened, shoulders becoming as stiff as humanly possible. a foot behind the other, the whole figure now completely still. the girl forced herself to slow down the pace of her continuous, once-ragged breathes - well, that situation and awkward silence did surely not help at all; at least, now, they were alone and with a bit of spare time to dedicate to that activity. the seats had been temporarily moved aside, near the wider and heavier sofa and table; as if that would have perhaps prevented any incidents !  it was way more complicated than what it seemed and, now that the moment had come, the girl had finally started feeling agitated. almost anxious, no matter the lack of spectators, for only a familiar pair of eyes was looking at her.
                «  Come closer, then !  I suppose you know how slow                 dancing looks like...  »
despite the cold, almost monotonous, sound of her voice - she felt, her gaze would have betrayed her any second, and with the slightest movement. if he really did want to accompany her to that formal event, then, he would have had to fight all of that as well: that bit of embarrassment, shyness even-- what for, anyway ?  hadn’t they known each other since middle school ?  plus, it had to be remembered that dance lesson  ( if it could even be called like that )  was just a first attempt. a silly test, and nothing more. Mitsuru’s last lesson had taken place many, many years before that day -- when still a little girl. all the steps, delicate, at the rhythm of slow, sweet music, had been learned with the greatest of ease; she had never thought of that art to be as important as, say, fencing. still, etiquette required young girls of her same, high and wealthy society to know how to dance, or at least how to hint a few steps while on the dancefloor. yes, and it was when occasions as those did present themselves that those lessons finally proved to be somewhat useful. 
she nodded once, as if giving him a clear sign. she was ready. first, she would have made sure to guide him, watched his movements carefully and possibly avoided any painful mistakes. the girl wouldn’t have minded adjusting her movements and pace to his own, but what about posture ?  the last thing she wanted was to make him feel uneasy or hurt him for something he would have, in hindsight, probably regretted. he didn’t have to. 
                «  You are left-handed ! -- that’s right... we’ll get to it later.                 And no music unless you grasp the basics...  »   
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alittleranting · 6 years
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Barista in Love (7/13)
Chapter 7
Jae and you eat your meal and talk a little about your day. Due to the fact that it was weekend, saturday evening to be exact, you had to wait till monday to talk to Mrs. Yoon.
"Jae, can I ask you something?"
"You already did, idiot." He smirked but it left his lips when he saw your serious face.
"What is it [Y/N]?" He asked in a gentle way.
"I'm just curious, I really like you, although we don't know each other for long. It feels like we know each other for years. I guess I just wanted to know if it's the same for you." He took a moment to answer but kept his gentle voice.
"Yes. Yes I do feel the same way. It seems like I can tell you anything. Weird isn't it?"
"Yes, weird." It was not awkward but a unsteady atmosphere.
"What do you want to do today?"
"Mh.. How about you give me my first guitar lesson?" Suddenly his eyes look bright at you with joy.
"Sure, good idea. I get her." He run into his apartment and got bag with a guitar bag.
"Can we start with something easy?"
"No I wanted to start with something difficult, of course I'll go easy on you, what do you think, babo." He laughed loud and you actually felt a little stupid for your question.
"I wrote a song, it was for Suzy but she never got to hear it. You're the first person. After I show you the basic grips you should be able to learn this song. It's pretty easy, there aren't many notes." You watch him carefully while he showes you how to handle the guitar. (I'm not going to bore you with the actual notes, just imagin he teaches you.)
"OK, do you get that?"
"Yes, I'm pretty sure I can try it." You play the intro but confuse the Minor C with the F.
"Dammit I really thought I got it." You were already practising for 2 hours and you got a little demotivated.
"Hey, it's ok. I'll help you." Jae positioned himself beside you and lays his hand over yours to guide you. Together you play and sing the song.
"I'm the kind of guy
That'll love to love you baby
You're the kind of girl
I would give up everything for
Baby all I need is your loving arms around me
Oh don't that sound kind of nice
Hey yeah, there is just one thing
That I need to ask you baby
Can we take this kind of slow?
Cause I don't want to mess up
Never felt like this before
And I feel I'm going crazy
But I know I just can't live without you
You make me wanna stand up tall
Clean up my act
Do what is right and be a better man
Chang how I walk
Change how I talk
Even though this isn't really me
But just as I am
I do all I can with these two hands for you
But I know I just can't make it alone
Please be my lady
Crazy as it seems
I have never been in love yet
Waited all my life
Just to be here in this moment
Take my breath away
And my heart is beating faster
Oh is this what love's about
Yeah yeah
I promise I can be
Everything you ever wanted
If you give me just one chance
To show you that I'm worth it
Let me be your man
And I swear you won't regret it
Cause I know I just can't live without you
You make me wanna stand up tall
Clean up my act
Do what is right and be a better man
Chang how I walk
Change how I talk
Even though this isn't really me
But just as I am
I do all I can with these two hands for you
But I know I just can't make it alone
Please be my lady, yeah yeah"
"See I told you you can do it." Just then you realize he already took his hands away and you played alone while you two sang together. You smiled happily and slung your hands around his neck while hugging him tight.
"Yes I did it. That's so cool! I can't wait to learn more."
"Easy Fury, you have to keep practising this and when you feel like you can play it while you're asleep, we're going to move on." You were determind to do that.
"Yes Sir, will do." You giggle while you salute. You feel like you saw a dark glimps in Jae's eyes but shrugged it off. It was pretty late so you two said good night and went to bed.
_______________________________
The next day both of you slept long and woke up around lunchtime.
"Hey do you want to do something today?"
"Mh yeah Haru asked if I wanted to meet up with her. Brian, a friend of her, will be there too. I think I will go meet them. Do you wanna come with me?"
"Yes sure, sound like fun. I would love to meet your friends again." Jae said he's going to text Haru in the meanwhile you could get ready, what you did. You walked to Haru, so you could grab coffee and donuts for breakfast on your way.
Jae walked around the fence and made his way into the backyard of Haru's house you follow him quickly. In the small backyard you see Haru, Hoseok and another guy, you assume it has to be Brian. They sit on chairs around a small table with lemonade on it and snacks. Looks like a cozy round with friends you smiled cheerful and greet everyone.
"Hello everyone." You wave at the three who now look into your direction.
"[Y/N], it's nice to see you again. Haru didn't told me you're coming to."
"That's because I didn't know she was coming." Didn't Jae say he wanted to text her? He must have forgotten it.
"Sorry guys, I just took her with me, didn't think it would be a problem."
"It definitly isn't. Here sit down, do you want to drink something?" Hoseok was very kind.
"Yes a glass of water would be nice."
"On my way." Hoseok entered the house.
"And you are Brian?" You spoke to the male who hadn't said anything yet.
"It's YoungK but yes, that's me."
"Nice to meet you, I like your hair." You couldn't believe that the guy who seemed kind of cold smiled wide at you and thanked you. You nod to him and take the cold glas of water that Hoseok brought you. Haru's gaze was darkend and she looked angry at you.
"Is someone else coming?" Haru suddenly looked confused at Jae, it seems like his question was stupid.
"Of course not, who else would come? It's always just us three and today we have two special guests."
"Just thought it could be nice to have some more people around. Sorry for asking." A little ashamed Jae plops down beside you. You lay your hand on his arm and smile at him.
"What is about Sungjin and Wonpil couldn't you invite them?" You ask with a sweet smile but it seem like your suggestion wasn't as good as you tought.
"Why would we, I never spoke to them. How do you even know them?" Haru sounded a little furious so you just quickly answer that Jae told you about his project he had to do with them. You shut und drank your water because you don't want to cause any trouble. You thought Haru was nice but now she spoke to you with the same tone she yelled at Suzy. You feel a hand on your thigh as you look up you see contrary to your expactation Hoseok instead of Jae slightly squeezing it to signalise you everything is ok. You nod and listen to Jae who's telling everyone about his new accommodation and asking if they knew someone who maybe had some furniture for him.
"Actually my mother has a new boyfriend and he's moving in with us. Sucks but I guess I could ask him if you could have his current furniture."
"Wow Brian that would be amazing. First the job, now this, I don't know how to thank you."
"I would be grateful if you would actually call me YoungK.."
"Never, but thanks." Brian or YoungK, you weren't sure how to address him, frowned and looked disapproving.
"Hoeseok could you show me where the bathroom is?"
"Sure, follow me." You got up and followed him. The inside of the house was  very neat and clean it felt cozy. You got into the bathroom and after 5 minutes you were out again.
"Uh you waited for me?"
"Yes I wanted to know if I could have your number AND if you maybe want to go and grap a coffee with me or so. I wanted to ask in private otherwise it would be embarrassing if you say no." You giggled.
"It would be nice to go on a date with you." You both smiled and you type your number into his phone. You couldn't believe it, you actually had a date after so long and you couldn't deny that Hoseok was very handsom. A little silly but he was very charming. The 5 of you had a pleasant time. You joked around and played little games to pass time. It was getting late and you had to work tomorrow so you said goodbye and walked home alone. Jae wanted to stay a little longer but suddenly someone graped your shoulder.
"You don't need to walk home. It's already dark I'll drive you."
"Hoseok you don't have to. It's not far."
"Nope no discussion. I'll drive!" He graps your hand and walks to his car.
"Thank you very much." The 3 minute car ride was silent just the radio made noise. Hoseok brought you to the front door. He shifted from one foot to another while he looked to the ground.
"Is everything alright, Hobi?" You asked a little concerned laying your hand on his shoulder. He lifts his head and looks into your eyes.
"C-can I maybe.. i don't know... like kiss you?" You were suprised. Kiss? That was a little straight forward. You didn't want to refuse but it didn't feel right so you kissed him on the cheek and said good night entering the building. You took the elevator and leaned against the cool metal waiting for the 'ping'.
When you reached your apartment you shamble into it and fall fully clothed onto your bed. You just kick your shoes and jacket off. Covering yourself with the blanket you fall asleep immediatly. You startle and wake up. It was already daytime. You didn't oversleep but nevertheless you had to hurry. You got into the shower and got dressed quickly. You grap your stuff but before you leave for work you look at your sofa.
"Dammit, where's Jae?" You run to his apartment and knock hard against the wooden door.
"Wow wow wow calm down what's up?"
"Puh I was worried because you weren't sleeping on my sofa."
"How was I suppose to do that? I don't have a key."
"Right I'm sorry. The door is open you can go in now. Did you sleep on the floor?"
"Yea.. wasn't that comfortable but it's ok. I'm going to take a shower and head to work. See you." He slips into your apartment and you go off to work.
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