#whatever ill go sleep. again.

[aweisz]

delta bby....... not sure about the design yet but oh well

#checking in. im bad. checking in. im doing bad #whatever ill go sleep. again. #delta ghoul #nameless ghouls #the band ghost #aweisz art

[qusok]

MOOTIES please tell me in comments/rbs about a character you love more from tdim from the main ones without repeating what others said (i hope someone will say something please)

I wanna try to do something for TDiM's birthday

this far: Jamie ✅✅ Mark ✅ Charlie ✅ Erin ✅✅

#please please please #the devil in me #tdim #ill go to sleep soon #so if all the characters will be taken but someone else would want to be included in whatever im doing you can name a character again #then you can choose erin too #and ill try to make it work #i really hope ill be able to finish it until 11/18 but probably not

[todayisafridaynight]

getting wigs for characters with the same hair color as myself make me feel like the biggest dumbass around but youd have me fucked thinking im burdening myself with daigos 2000's emo cut just for a weekend

#snap chats #a weekend is generous im only going to the con on saturday #i like how im making it sound like anime nyc is this weekend when its at the end of august LMAO BUT NO LISTEN #unfortunately beauty influencers have finally done their job right and this one guy was reviewing an eyebrow pencil #but the twist is that this pencil was like. SUPPPER STUPID FINE im talkin .08mm and he demonstrated how it could imitate stubble #SO OF COURSE. my ass wanted to see for myself cause as much as i like my sponge-stippling method its not super precise #and that shit gets annoying when most of it looks fine but then i press too hard or i angle the sponge wrong and now i gotta start over #In Any Case the pencil i got did exactly as i hoped and its actually p fun putting on LMAO. i prefer how it looks too #anyway how this all relates to this post. im probably gonna go as y2 daigo again for anime nyc in august #and I Repeat im not cutting my hair for that LMAO so. Wig 😩 #i like it when i cosplay him cause i just go by his actual design cause if i even breathe near skinny jeans ill wanna kms #also i just like to be as accurate as i can be yk. plus the leather pants i have are cozy and theyre one of my fave pairs of pants 🤤 #in any case. whenever that wig comes in ermmmmm i dont trust myself to take pictures 😞 my selfie game is dick #maybe ill stream yk2 LMAO but anyway. good night i think im gonna force myself to sleep now #i got back to my dorm like four hours ago or whatever and i am not looking forward to doing school shit again. alongside comm shit #OH WELL we ball good night #wait before i Good Night cackling as i have my meds next to my aoki tablet and plush #great reminder honestly. Take Your Meds Or You'l Convince Yourself To Be A Republican #ok goodnight fr now im gonna giggle and kick my feet thinking of cosplay

[saeshiraw]

tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry

#tw rant #studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not #its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels #so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday #i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me #n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone #yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my #friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep #of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle #but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today #i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts #and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics #just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people #im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier #im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk #and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know #but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac #h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe #ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch #people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and #seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want #are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to #spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was #i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next #“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes #me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good #but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im #intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout #but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one? #the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#aaaand thats a 3rd doctor. a psychiatrist. who listened to me ans thought: mm sounds like bip0lar lol #me: wow its so easy to get diagnosed as bip0lar. thats bc u r exhibiting lots of depression and a limit amount of mood elevation. that's #like. thats what bip0lar is. she was like yea ppl with bip0lar 2 spend like 75% of time being depressed and a lil elevated mood... which #sounds like what u r describing. me: #...yeah. but again its complicated by the 0cd and spectrum issues. but she independently brought up 4dhd. just when i was like no its all #0cd. here we r again. stuck back in the messy overlap. but whatever i got proscribed bip0lar medicine. lam1ctal. we'll see #bc everyone i talk to is like. we need to control the mood 1st. like so u dont die. and im like hm yeah good call lol #she seems super cool tho. like i would love to just talk to her. ugh. she wants to get a handle on the mood and then maybe add a stimulant #bc shes had it happen in thr past where someone comes in with debiltating 0cd and got treated with lam1ctol and a stimulant and the #obsessive rumination stopped. so well see. idk if ill actually qualify as 4dhd enough. well see. fingers crossed #my mood is a lil elevated rn so its all fun. well see if we tip off a cliff bc im getting less sleep and go go going #unrelated #ugh im scared to start the medine tho bc the ssri i got proscribed fucked me up so much. which is also an indicator of bip0lar #god dammit. if this works im gonna have to actually accept the idea of being bip0lar. i mean. it makes sense being on that spectrum #is just sounds insane and i was not expecting it despite my fucking obsession with understanding wtf my deal is #idk. whatever. doesnt matter

[toastsnaffler]

WILL MY FLATMATE FUCKING STOP PUTTING WASHING ON BEFORE 7AM ON A SATURDAY

#im at my fucking limit. good for u girl being up and at it at 6 on a weekend but I wanted to fucking SLEEP IN. #i tried to fall back asleep but its kept waking me back up. and now my sleep has been disturbed im gonna be cranky all day #im not like her i cant sleep whenever nap whenever this is the only time of day i can get some rest. come on man #she woke me up yesterday morning too which rly pissed me off bc i get up at 6:30 for work on weekdays #so waking me up BEFORE THEN when she doesnt even have to go to work for like. another HOUR LATER THAN I DO!!!! pisstake #the fact i didnt sleep well was WHY i had a migraine at work and WHY i had to cancel on her fucking movie night #man i just wanted to sleep thru until 8am. its not even that much to ask please #at least she wont do this the next couple days bc she would never disturb the beauty sleep of our other friend lmao #ill text her and ask her not to do this again. just so annoying bc it sets the tone for the whole day #whatever #.diaries

[crescentfool]

ohh the joy of videos and streams... i like listening to people talk about things they like/think about it’s very contagious... 🥺

#lizzy speaks #THIS IS BROUGHT TO U BY THE MINATO BRAINCELLS SHAKING BACK AND FORTH.. #so so many of my interests feel like they're in some kind of hibernation lately in terms of the emotions they evoke #my brains been mostly gravitating towards formulating strategies and trying new things in splatoon right now... LOL.. so i havent thought- #a whole bunch about other things i like even if they do mean a lot to me.. #so i really appreciate being around other people who really like the things that they like because its infectious and reminds me why- #i enjoy those characters / ships / whatever else #like oh... ryomina.. minato.. ryoji... i love them very much and i like hearing other people express their appreciation for them #also yosuke.... i like hearing my friends talk about yosuke his characters a very fun one for me even if i never took the time 2 personally #analyze him its just very nice to be around that kind of energy! im so grateful! #related but unrelated squid school made a video about the splatoon manga... which i havent thought abt in a month or two #yet somehow watching that revitalized my sleeping lil braincell that loves vintage coroika... #IDK i just feel like lately ive gotten to be around a very contagious positive energy of people who appreciate stuff and i like that!! #mayb ill stream again... something about talking about things out loud and not over text evokes a certain kind of insanity #i like to draw to express my love 4 the things i've come across but sometimes i think too much abt the quality.. LOL #so maybe ill just go FUCK IT we ball!! better to draw than to not draw at all. or ill just stream 2 outlet the 'hehe i love so many things' #there is so much love stored in my heart it hurts i lov So many Things and I love Being reminded of that god i love people loving things!!!

[muirneach]

do i really want to change my entire career path or am i just so incredibly tired

#im going to bed but i am fully of worry. goodnight ! #well sighh im not changing anything i dont want to change im set in my ways. im just so scared dude #whatever i literally just have to sleep for like 12 hours and then ill be normal again

[be-good-to-bugs]

you would think considering how much it loves sleeping that my body would, yknow, sleep when i ask it to. or even just when it has barely slept in days and im trying so hard to sleep

#the bin #uugghhhh i woke up at 1pm today bc my stupid idiot body refused to go to sleep at a reasonable time even tho i was alreday so sleep #deprived. i have to work at 6:30 tomorrow morning :/ so i guess i wont be sleeping till then bc i still have to clean stuff and shower #maybe maybe maybe ill get a nap in but idk. bleh. i hope after i get home my stupid body will sleep. its gonna have to bc i work 7 hours the #next day so i cant do that too sleep deprived. i really really hope i dont have to :( hhhh #i wanted so bad to get high last night mosty bc my body has been refusing to sleep this past week but my sister n her boyfriend didnt come #over so i wasnt able to get more edibles :( or boxes for packing. hhh. i need to move so soon! i have no idea what day its even gonna be yet #i badeky have an idea of how much its gonna cost either. they finally gave me a gas cost estimate afeyr ive been asking for 3 weeks #hhh. well. whatever. i only have 4 more shifts. im kinda sad tbh. i really like working here. my coworkers are so nice #tomorrow is probs the last time ill ever see my fav coworker. shes so nice. shes so nice she used he/him for me and calls me orb #i just mentioned the name in passing once after i changed my pronouns on my nametag and she noticed and she remember! #and before she used it for me she stopped and asked if i was comfortable with it or if i wanted to keep it private. i have never EVER met #another cis person who would even think to ask that. most cis people dont understand why you would care. shes like. the nicest person ive #ever ever met. why did i have to find such a great place to work in minnesota? well. even if i am super tired tomorrow morning itll probably #be ok. butbi really would prefer not to be. #i dont know why i havent been able to sleep properly. bleh. i do liek what edibles do to me its a fun time but its kinda annoying that i #cant use them very casually for sleep or pain. they incapacitate me for 14 hours minimum. #well. at least no matter how stressed i am abt everything. i will definitely be elsewhere in 18 days max. should be less than that. #i will miss this job and these coworkers but i am relived that i wont have to go to work for awhile. esp with this tooth pain. #and im so excited to be able to draw again! im glad im moving a month before artfight bc itll give me time to get shit prepped #i wanted so bad to participate last year but i wasnt able to come evn close to finishing any attacks bc i was too tired from working

[backpackingspace]

.....I think if will hadn't gotten framed he would have gotten stressed enough to hide in the corpse cold storage freezing box cabinet to avoid people talking to him

#Hannibal #nbc hannibal #Will graham #Banging pots and pans they should have leaned into will being more unhinged #Like everyone was this man is weird #And then he was just mentally ill #Like let!! Him be weird!!! #Will had one to many people talk to him one day #And he just knows jack is going to yell at him again and and and #So he just storms into the lab and is like I'm not here and crawls into one of those storage units #It is sadly the best sleep he's had in a while (no room to sleep walk) #Team sassy science is like UM #actually Beverly is like whatever man's gotta do what man's gotta do #But everyone else is freaking out #They do still hide him from jack though

[vampfucker666]

they should invent an eating food that doesnt make me either physically or mentally unwell

#ok ill go to sleep now. tbh im pribably just eating too much sugar again #cause i have been trying to not be obsessive. unfortunately the obsession is the only thing keeping my stomach together i guess #by too much sugar i of course mean i had like 4 oreo thins and a couple gunmy bears #spread throughout my day mostly concentrated after i ate dinner #oh and i had yogurt also but that doesnt count to me i thinj its only 10g sugar anyway for the serving #was also after i ate dinner #i woke up at like. fucking. 2 so i didnt eat anything until dinner #and i felt ok like. until i ate p much. whatever.

[ittybittybeastiebuddy]

The desperate yet guilty anxiety that comes from having to essentially beg for accommodations from my college professors is an emotion I wish I was less familiar with

#beastiebites #didnt get shit officially last year so had to ask all my professors individually for extension when i needed #and idk if ill get anything this year so Im once again resorting to oversharing in a desperate attempt to get ny professors to understand #Im fucking disabled and mentally ill and I need deadline extensions like i need water #i feel awful about it though its sorta fuckin humiliating to have to write an email that is me on my hands and knees praying they wont #think im trying to get out of work #im passionate about these classes and i wanna learn so bad Im just #so fuckin mentally ill rn #and i need help #but i dont have access to the help I need #so im just sorta #slowly watching as i become more and more despondant and emotionally drained #and struggle to do basic fucking tasks #Im sorry im just tired and stressed #gonna go to sleep and hopefully feel a little better in the morning #tw vent #vent post #actually autistic #actually adhd #anyways i wish everyone a good day and i hope you have spoons to deal with whatever bullshit life throws at ya

[semiotomatics]

realizing as i think abt the concert im going to tomorrow/today that i havent gone outside in almost a month. oops!

#personal spewage #which also means its been almost a month since my last therapy appt #god that sucks #god i miss therapy #god i hope i start getting paid again soon #god i hope i dont have to worry abt when ill get paid again anymore soon #anyway feeling more than a little anxious at the thought of Going Outside and Being Around People tmrw #but its cool im cool itll be cool #itll be a chill concert and the trip there/back is relatively painless #just gotta make sure i dress for the weather and ill be good #still 🙃 feel 🙃 kinda 🙃 terrified 🙃 though 🙃 #whatever #im fine itll be fine i dont need to be scared going outside is Not That Scary #👍 #sorry its late and i cant sleep and im hormonal and anxious. yknow. the uʒ

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#theres a special kind of agony in tryinf to find an apartment in an college town with a housing shortage #everythings expensive as fuck and im sure its frustrating for everyone but i feel like its especially frustrating for me #bc it takes me so much fucking time to understand the information right in front of me and then i doubt myself so i have to check and check #and double check and triple check that im on the right website. that im inputting the right info #and its like. what if theres a better place i could b looking? like i found a management place to apply to thats expensive but less #expensive than another place but the building looks like its kinda on the edge of town like 15min drive from school #which i hate bc im an anxious freak and its gonna b worse than driving here bc itll get icey as fuck there #like proper inches of snow all winter. negative negative cold. so its like. do i take a nice apartment thats kinda far away #or a slightly more expensive apartment thats like 10min from school and more in town #and then theres the application stuff. and i cant fill anything out without having a full on like sobbing breakdown #but im that way abt everything. i do that all the time when i have to buy plane tickets #its exhausting. and i cant plan my exit until i know when i can move into a place. whatever. it doesnt help that my hormones r fucked rn #or i hope its the hormones. ive been so tired. so so tired. like sleeping 9hrs and still tired when usually im wired after only 7hrs sleep #i hate it. and super brain foggy. and this week i have to finish taking measurements for the last time #so i gotta decide if im gonna go in tomorrow or Monday to start it. its gonna suck so bad bc im gonna try to do it in 6 days. which will b #agony. but after that ill never have to do it ever again. ugh. im just so tired and i dont wanna limp my way into a new project feeling #like damaged goods. which is exactly what it feels like now. ive just done a very good job of making my job difficult #cant go into the lab without feeling physically ill. drained away all my joy. now theres only a sad distant recognition of how far ive #allowed myself to fall. i kno ill feel better once i have a place to stay and i can quit my job just getting there is taking an eternity #unrelated

[piplupod]

i am going to be soooo fucked for this therapy appt _(:_」∠)_

#going to just play sudoku i guess. fuck me fuck this fuck sleep #doesnt help that im also an insomniac dhdjdmsl so. weh. #I've ran through five whole scenes for my story writing and usually i only get thru one at most before sleep hits #the issue is every time I think mother is done moving around upstairs she starts up again #and then i get upset and then my heart starts pounding and then i Definitely cannot sleep #and then by the time i settle down and am just abt to drift off she starts moving around again and it repeats over and over and over #i feel so ill dnfkdl i wish i was sick rn too so that I'd be allowed to be outwardly miserable and she might care that she's keeping me up #but alas dndksl i havent caught whatever it is that both parents have had now (not covid apparently) so i just have to keep being nicey nice #i hate this so much djfkdl she is sick and that sucks so bad and she is miserable and thats awful but also. i would like to sleep. #but i should not be upset bc she is suffering and if i wanted to sleep so bad i just Would i guess. i must not need sleep if i cant sleep #like if i rly needed it I'd probably be able to sleep through any amount of noise ? idk #hello 3am my most despised frenemy. i love you for being a good number but i hate seeing you bc it means im Awake #if i cry in my therapy appt maybe something good will happen !! maybe i will be taken away and put somewhere safe where i can sleep #eeuggfhhhh. weh. whiny whiny sorry fjfkdl i will go play sudoku and pretend that I've already slept several hours and the day will come #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[the-wild-wolves-around-you]

working for 12+ hours today in front of a computer screen made me come to the realization that maybe murder IS warranted sometimes 🙃🤪

#this project has been the BANE OF MY EXISTENCE FOR MONTHS NOW #i told my boss MONTHS ago that there were all these issues with this project/employee #and he kept blowing me off and telling me to give the project/employee ‘one more week’ for weeks on end #so i slog through while doing my best and then he randomly gives me a deadline for the project thats like a little over a week away #and i asked if he was going to glance through the project to give me feedback/SEE THE FUCKING PROBLEMS #and he says ‘yeah ill get to it’ #then four days before the deadline he says ‘actually im not going to look at the project just pass it off to the final editing team’ #at this point i KNOW there are problems in the project but ive read it so many times its gibberish #so im like fine whatever maybe some new eyes will help #well the new eyes helped a LOT and spotted problems that hadnt occured to me #a bunch of problems #normally im very good at my job but i just needed a little guidance on this project and got NONE until the very end #so i got up at 5am today and worked on NOTHING but this godforsaken project for like 13 hours #AND IM STILL NOT DONE #but i had to stop working tonight bc my eyeballs where literally starting to flick back and forth #with literal stress induced nystagmus #so i gotta get up at 5am AGAIN tomorrow and prob get shitty anxiety filled sleep tonight 👍🏼 #FUCK i hate being an adult #personal