#what then. what then. casual intimacy.........

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for getting upset at my ex for being PDA with his boyfriend?

🌱🚌🍰<- To find later

Ages aren't super relevant here but everyone is in their mid-late 20s. About a year ago, my fiance of about 8 and a half years, Jake, broke up with me. It wasn't the smoothest breakup, I didn't take it well at the time, but I've since had a lot of time to think about it and I do understand (and agree with some of) his reasons for it. We're still on friendly terms and recently started casually chatting again 2 months ago after he said he needed a break for a while. I admit I do still love him and we had said at the time that we would want to get back together someday but that it would be a long time before we could consider that again and I wouldn't be upset with him if he changes his mind. There are a number of reasons why things weren't going well, I know I have a lot of body image issues and that had a lot of impact on our sex life, and there was also just a lot of baggage from old issues that built up over the course of the relationship. I've since been in therapy which I know was long overdue and working on a lot of the issues that contributed. Ultimately though, what ended up being the breaking point was issues we were having with polyamory.

I'm going to try and keep things as succinct as possible because the including all the details would make it way too long, but here's basically what happened: Jake and I agreed to be open about sleeping with other people, as long as we kept things out of our shared space. We weren't sure about dating others yet, but we said we'd talk about it if it came up. I know Jake felt jealous about me being with others while I worked on our own intimacy issues, but he told me that he knew that was unhealthy especially if we wanted to eventually be poly. A few months in, I heard from one of our friends, Emily, that a new friend of ours, Daniel, thought Jake was hot and might have a crush on him. I was shocked that Emily would tell me that because she knew Jake and I were together, and I told Jake to discuss what to do about it. He was kind of upset that I told him because he said he would've wanted to hear that from Daniel directly, I argued it was relevant but apologized anyway and dropped it. Over the next few months, Jake and Daniel started texting a lot and Jake started developing feelings for him. When Daniel confessed during a movie night, Jake said he felt the same but that he'd have to talk to me about it first. Jake told me he wanted to go for it, which was surprising because he had said literally the day before that he wasn't sure, but we decided to try poly with some ground rules. Ultimately the issue came down to the "shared space" rule we were already following. I considered making out as sexual, but Jake disagreed and told me that was too controlling if we were allowed to have dates at the apartment. This led to a fight, and when I went to the other room to calm down, I realized that if I couldn't handle seeing Jake with someone else so close to me, I couldn't do poly, so I went back out to tell him. He asked why we couldn't keep talking about it, I said I couldn't change how I felt, and he got upset that I wasn't willing to have a conversation about it now that he had feelings for someone else, so I asked him what he'd want to talk about and he said not to bother because it was obvious I had already made up my mind. The next day he told me we should take a break, and we broke up a week later. I want to make it very clear that I don't blame Daniel for any of this and I don't think anyone was "cheating". As far as I'm aware, Jake and Daniel started dating about 4-5 months after we broke up. I'm not going to lie and say that seeing Jake so happy with someone else doesn't hurt, but I know that's immature of me and I'm working on getting over it.

About a week ago, Jake invited me to go to a bar with a bunch of our old friends. It was a lot of fun and I had really missed hanging with everyone in a group. At some point during the night though, I noticed Daniel being kind of handsy with Jake. I brushed it off because everyone was drunk, but as time went on it became less and less subtle, and I started getting a little uncomfortable. I noticed that one of our more reserved friends, Jason, was also looking a bit flustered. At one point Daniel pulled Jake away from the table to go off somewhere, and everyone just kind of laughed awkwardly before continuing conversation. I know that Jake didn't like PDA before but it's possible that changed, idk.

At the end of the night when people were saying goodbyes and starting to head home, I pulled Jake aside to thank him for inviting me and saying it was a lot of fun and great to see everyone again, but that I noticed people were kind of uncomfortable with Daniel's PDA and suggested that he tone it down a little in the future, especially around Jason. Jake didn't say anything at the time but his smile dropped a little bit and he said he'd talk to Daniel about it.

The next day, I woke up to messages from both Jake and Jason telling me I was out of line and that nobody but me had any issues with their PDA. I even mentioned Jason looking uncomfortable and he said that it was because he had had a crush on Jake for a while now, but that it would be unreasonable for him to ask Jake and Daniel to change their behavior around their friends (which I completely disagree with when it comes to PDA and being inappropriate in public). Jake told me that if I was going to bring our breakup back into the group dynamic it would be better if I didn't come in the future. I asked a few of our other friends and one said that it could be too much sometimes but only when everyone was really drunk, one said that if it did go too far they'd say something, but that it never had, and the last one told me that I was being rude and was clearly just not over Jake.

I don't think I'm an asshole for being uncomfortable with PDA and even if nobody else agrees with me (and at least a couple do), I didn't go about telling them in a rude way at all, but most of the group is saying I was overstepping and to get over myself. AITA here?

#aita #am i the asshole

[butmakeitgayblog]

Ahhhhh Lexa is so cuddly in that oneshot! 😍😍

She had to be

Listen to me

She had to be

Because this little ray of sunshine?

Deserved to be allowed to be cuddly

Because the thing is, she always wanted to be. She did. Even when she didn't know how to ask for it. Even when all she knew how to do was nudge the door open for Clarke and wait silently to see what she'd do

Even when she didn't feel like she deserved to want it.

Lexa spent so much time worrying about Clarke's comfort and boundaries. So much time carrying the weight of her decisions like a scarlett letter on her chest. She lived with the guilt - not for the decisions themselves - but for how those decisions hurt Clarke, and how it all ultimately lost her the girl she had fallen so hard for, so fast.

But still, there were so many instances where she wanted nothing more than to be allowed to be soft. And you could see it.

So many times when she put herself out there just to feel like a fool in the end.

You could see it in these tiny glimpses of moments, her hesitation. Her disappointment. Her wanting so badly to reach out. But not letting herself.

Always waiting to be pushed away. Always accepting when she was. Always swallowing the pain of her own heartache while aching to be let in...

Which is why the second Clarke said yes? Lexa absolutely let the floodgates open.

While we saw after their first time she had given Clarke space again, had rolled away to recover from being fucked into a nap the intensity of finally getting to have that intimacy with Clarke, I don't think it was because it was what she wanted to do. I think it was pure instinct. Fear. A learned habit to always give Clarke space, and always another chance to push her away should Clarke want to. Seeing how Lexa operated when it came to Clarke, I don't think she took them having sex for granted in the aspect of "oh now all is forgiven." I think even after having Clarke make love to her, a piece of Lexa would've been careful not to push for too much too soon. Been too clingy. Assume Clarke woukd want to cuddle with her, to hold her. To even want Lexa to touch her the same way so intimately.

But.

When Clarke gave the ok? When Clarke made it clear that she was open to that?

Oh she smiled.

And she was happy

She held her hand during sex for godssake, you can't get more mushy than that

And even in her final moments, what made her break? What was the only thing that really truly cut through the pain and the strength of Heda, and gave Lexa a moment of solace?

Clarke's touch.

Clarke's comfort.

Being able to soak in another moment of just being close to her. Loved by her.

Lexa was always a touchy a person. She craved that physical intimacy with Clarke from day one. I mean we're talking about a woman who decided to casually ~take a nap~ on her canopy bed with the drapes open while an almost complete stranger waltz around her tent. She was always sending out the signals out that not only did she want more emotionally from Clarke, but that she wanted more physically. And I don't mean sex (ok well not just sex at least), she wanted that soft comfort of just being near her too.

So yeah. 100% I believe if given a chance to have more moments together after they'd both finally let each other back in, every time Clarke even halfway made it seem like she was open to it, I think Lexa would've become more and more comfortable letting go of her fears and been as affectionate as she'd always wanted. I think she would've become more and more snuggly, more tactile in her expressions of love and pride, to the point that when they were alone I don't think Clarke would've quite known what to do with herself and her little commander-noodle-arms shaped shadow

They still would've argued all the time tho

#anon #in secret au #clexa

[nocturnowlette]

How many regular subjects do you have? Do you want more or less subjects? I know seiral recruitment is semi-common in hypnokink spaces, but that doesn’t seem to be your style. Though having a handful of subjects is also a lot of fun!

Hmm, if I had to put a number on the amount of people I have put under more than once, I'd say around 60 in the 5 months of me being a hypnotist, but most of those are just two or three times. I've likely put under around 150 people in the last 5 months total. As for ones I'd consider "regular subjects", I'd consider that moreso people that I like as a friend and occasionally put under and hypnotically tease with what I already have installed. I'd put that number at around 25, but I intentionally keep an arm's length between most subjects and I.

It is reckless to form feelings of addiction or dependence in general, and even if you are competent enough to manage them and make it worth it, you need to accept a long-form relationship that will take up a lot of time. I call those I'm willing to do this will my "close ones", someone I have the intimacy of a relationship with. That would be, at most, 2.

Any hypnotist doing serial recruitment in actual practice and not fantasy is a fool and should not be respected or trusted. They will make others dependent on them and then disappoint or hurt them because they cannot manage so many strong relationships at once. It often sources from needing attention but not knowing a healthy way to do it.

I think, while not using actual hypnosis, HexLatex is a good example of serial recruitment done right. It understands and explicitly states it as a fantasy, and the vibe is casual with a lot of dynamic flexibility for how one is allowed to act. Focus is also put on the collective and not entirely on Hex themselves.

I meet subjects as I find them, and a willingness to put someone under is a sign that, at minimum, I find them worthy of having their mind explored a bit. I find them interesting, and that's a big compliment from me. However, there are many people that I like and would not put under, and many people that I would put under but not label as a regular subject.

I hope this gives some insight.

#owlette #hypnosis #hypnosub #hypno fantasy #hypno pet #hypno sub #hypnok1nk #hypnotized #hypnotic #mind conditioning #hypno toy #covert hypnosis #brainwashing #ask #ask blog

[draconicace]

been thinking lately that harry must know a lot about anatomy. he was a gym teacher and now he's a detective; he knows all about muscle groups and what makes them tick. well what if he knows how to give a massage. what if kim keeps rubbing at the back of his neck because he has to bend his head at a weird angle constantly to write in his notebook. what if harry manages to fight through his anxiety over touching people for a moment because he knows he can help alleviate kim's neck pain. what then

#aiden's monologuing #ailb #ailbde #what if kim says 'fuck it. sure' to harry asking to give him a neck massage #what if kim accidentally makes weird noises during it. what if his ears turn really red and he can't relax so the massage lasts way longer. #what then. what then. casual intimacy......... #swiping at the bars of my enclosure #.......screw it i'm main tagging i like this one. might turn it into a fic #disco elysium

[bigdumbbambieyes]

They were on their way to work in the Beamer and Steve was bright and glowing in the morning sun, his face dotted with beauty spots and moles and Billy couldn’t look away, even as his boyfriend kept bitching.

“—and it’s like, why the fuck does it matter how the tapes are displayed? People are gonna see them! And take them! They’re for rent, not for show, right?”

“Right,” Billy hummed with a little smirk, resting his cheek in his hand, elbow on the car door.

“So I told Keith, ‘hey, man, I think this way might be better’ - and you know what that asshole told me?? ‘That’s stupid’! He said my idea was fucking stupid!” Steve huffed with annoyance, which was Billy’s favourite way to have him (annoyed), because it was funny and cute at the same time.

But, only when Billy was the reason Steve was annoyed. Goddamn Keith wasn’t allowed to annoy his pretty boy so much.

“You want me to ruin his morning, babe?” Billy smirked, already thinking of ways he could.

Steve glanced over at him from where he was looking at the road and gave him a smile, like he was touched that Billy was so willing to ruin his boss’ morning for him, but shook his head ‘no’, “Nah, it’s fine - I’ll just put the display up how I want and he’ll deal with it.”

“Atta boy, Harrington,” Billy grinned, proud and amused.

They pulled up to the shop and Billy zipped up his coveralls, making sure to grab his lunch that Steve packed and coffee thermos before looking over to see Steve already leaning into his space. Billy smiled and leaned over, meeting his pretty boy halfway for a kiss, something soft and casual.

He pecked Steve’s lips a few times more before pulling away to admire Steve’s little half-lidded look, smiling as his boyfriend hummed, “Have a good day. I’ll call when I’m leaving the store.”

“Okay,” Billy smiled, “The boss is letting me work on my car after my shift, so, don’t rush. I’ll be here when you’re done.”

“‘Kay,” Steve hummed, and they shared one last little kiss before Billy was opening the door and getting out. He grabbed the door and bent down to tell Steve with a little grin, “And I’m looking forward to hearing what that dickhead has to say about your display.”

Steve grinned with a little roll of his eyes, “I’ll tell you all about it over dinner. Spaghetti tonight, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Billy smiled, loving that he got to make dinner plans with his boyfriend. The little things really made his day. “Love you, peanut butter.” He hummed.

Steve’s grin grew wider, “Love you, too.”

Billy shut the door and watched the Beamer pull out of the lot and head towards Family Video, smiling to himself with a little huff of amusement before turning and heading into work.

#harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #steve x billy #billy x steve #listen i’m feeling very soft for casual intimacy and domestic living rn #it’s what these boys deserve and i will give it to them #real ones know the lore behind the ‘peanut butter’ nickname 😌 #bambiwrites

[5-7-9]

Cass was Duke’s batgirl

Damian is Duke’s robin

#Why r u saying tim #What does tim have to do with anything #*tightens grip on my knife’s handle* #Dami actually talked to Duke casually #tim has nothing on dami if we’re comparing relationship intimacy #Idc for a specific robin but i can get righteously petty if i wanted to #duke thomas #damian wayne

[cryptidm0ths]

wait ive had this sitting in my doodle file for the last few months euuu smoochie for luck

#himeru #rinne amagi #rinhime #enstars #ensemble stars #i am not tagging other ship name variants #is this ooc yes shut up #theyre both very good at the flirting stage and immediately crumble at the casual intimacy/being loved past the facade but trust me #they do silly little smoochie onthe couch #oh i remeber why i never posted it (wanted to draw a second part but also i dont like it that much bc the story is off ) #euuu what ever ill post it now and be done #moth draws #id in alt text

[ivebeenghosting]

I think canoncially bruce and clark should kiss. not like in a I want superbat to be canon way I don't want that and I know it will never happen but like I feel like after 20+ years of friendship they should smooch a little! on the forehead after a long battle, on the cheek when saying good bye, maybe even one big one on the mouth like a "mmmuah!!" after one of their patented grand gestures they do for each other that comic writers can't help but include in their cross over stories

#whats a little kissy between best friends #superbat #let superman drop a kiss on batmans head right between the ears on the cowl #idk casual intimacy among friends idk

[antaripirate]

lila: *exists*

kell: *blushes like a slut*

i miss them desperately and we get them back in 60 days fuckkkkkkk

#the casual intimacy has me screaming #the way lila takes note of him blushing sksksksksk she’s so proud of it #also THE MASK???? #is this like with kamerov and he’s adopting a persona? #maybe to take his mind off his lost magic and the pain?? #what if he has a persona like lila is the Sarows??? #the idea of them being a mystery power couple feared across the seas is so snskskskkdkd #anyway i’m delusional i doubt any of this is what’s actually going on lmao #also i can’t explain it but her putting the mask on him is so fucking sexy #adsom #threads of power #the fragile threads of power #a darker shade of magic #a conjuring of light #a gathering of shadows #kell maresh #lila bard #shades of magic #kellila #delilah bard #ve schwab

[nezumeanie]

𐐪𐑂 B a d H a b i t s 𐐪𐑂

no warnings | gn reader | fluff | uh...not proofread __φ(。。)

Shu Itsuki has a few bad habits, including the fact that he doesn’t realize how heart fluttering they can be

❝ Shu hasn’t quite realized it but he’s become attached to you in a strange way. Inadvertently, he’s made you a part of his daily routine, his dreams and ambitions…❞

…and his afternoon cafe runs.

ఌ Though his concentrated face while mulling over his stage designs are heart fluttering, the issue lies (as he would say) with y o u. ‘Ah, is there a hole in your chin? How did you get icing there? You’re this old already how haven’t you learned how to eat properly yet?’ Shu always presses your cheeks between his elegant fingers, takes his napkin, and wipes off the remains of your cinnamon bun while scolding you. His hands feel a little cold but soft and after knowing him for so long you can only hear the warmth in his voice. You can’t help but think it’s a little unfair—he’s already talking to you about something different while your heart is still pounding in your chest.

ఌ His bad habits also follow the both of you out in public. It looks like there’s a brand new craft store across the street from the cafe, though it’s wares look a little cheap it’s still worth a trip inside! You always have to walk a little faster to keep pace with Shu when he spots something interesting, smiling slightly while listening to him talk about how long lasting cashmere can be if you treat your clothing with care. When you can’t fast enough Shu finds himself sighing and grabbing your wrist to make sure you don’t fall behind. ‘It’s important for you to know these things! And you’re walking to slowly! How can you do your job properly if you can’t manage to make it from one end to the other without assistance?’ Because he’s still walking ahead of you, you can safely give him a lovelorn look, why does he hold your wrist but not your hand?

ఌ Possibly his worst habit rears it’s head in the small craft store aisles……besides openly criticizing the fabric and jewelry making supplies for being stiff and unmanageable. There’s many other customers looking for ways to begin their seamster journeys. Too many. Whether Shu is a repellent or you are a magnet—people just won’t stop bumping into you. The thread aisle, the button aisle, the velcro aisle…Shu begins to huff like it was your fault. Placing an arm around your side he pulls you out of the way of another shopper, bumping your shoulders together. ‘Won’t you pay a little more attention?’ As if you could in a situation like this. His soap has just the faintest scent of linen & peonies, even though he smells like laundry in an open field something about it reminds you of star gazing. The only thing keeping you grounded is the feeling of his hand around your upper arm keeping you out of “harms way”. It might be a blessing that he has a bad habit of not noticing when he manages to make you feel so flustered. ‘Stand right next to me. Ah, I can’t take you anywhere.’ …..He really has a bad habit of saying that, too.

#not it being 3am TT_TT hello〜 #sorry i didn’t realize ppl were following this blog… #but i got struck by lighting #no w inspo struck w inspo #aha #but ig i got over my weirdness abt writing abt itsuki but there’s just a specific kind of relationship u can have a him #bc he’s so……Like That hahaha or what i mean is #his casual intimacy is always in a corrective way but never in an affectionate way because he has a hard time with affection #which may b confusing but praise & affection are separate things so he may like it when ppl talk abt how intelligent and creative he is but #admiring someone looking up to someone is much much different than liking and loving those are scary concepts #so it takes a lot of years of this sort of ‘im dating him & he doesn’t know’ until he could even entertain the idea of liking u TT_TT like #maybe if u had been born a porcelain doll things could be different hahahah im kidding! it’s been so long now that he calls u and tells u #his unfinished works and that’s a big deal you know #uh…wait how do i tag again? #things written #ensemble stars #enstars fanfic #enstars fluff #valkyrie enstars #shu itsuki x reader #shu x reader #shu itsuki #enstars x reader #valkyrie ensemble stars #enstars headcanons

[schmweed]

#David Tennant #Alec Hardy #Ellie Miller #Broadchurch #my gifs #his outstanding Miller <3 #An incredible bond if you think about it -- they were at the lowest possible low #and everyone was judging them or against them or resenting them #ppl they loved turned their backs on them #And this case and the light Ellie brought to life at the end of the dreary dark tunnel Alec had been drowning in for YEARS #must have been this amazing all-encompassing bubble that was theirs and only theirs #and sth that actually helped them with their self-worth since it was their literal job. a lifeline. Ellie gave him a lifeline. #No wonder he disappeared for two years. You can't try to rebuild your broken family with that kind of unparalleled intimacy going on. #Even a text would've been too much because there was nothing casual about it #His quietly forlorn 'Handshake?' in the finale speaks volumes #What a beautiful beautiful story. <3

[sylviaplathenthusiast]

listen, i LOVE marylily

the idea of mary being a single hookup queen bad bitch tho? does shit to me

#my fav marylily plotline is when mary spends years single doing casual hookups #and then she falls for lily and she supresses the shit out of that #cause like 'this is not what i do' #shes not scared of intimacy perse she just has a persona #marylily #mary mcdonald

[enigmasandepiphanies]

why tf are patrick j adams and troian bellisario so fucking cute and domestic and amazing and where can I get someone who treats me like treat each other

#seeing the buzzfeed relationship test thing fuck they are so so like that's what i what from. marriage #friendship domestic banter completing each other's sentences and just casual intimacy #whats are your eye colours troian goes his is a beautiful glacier blues and he quietly says you are my brown eyed girl #MY BROWN EYED GIRL #FUCK ME AND WHO #patrick j adams #troian bellisario

[justkeepwalkingnothinghere]

Oh to hold hands and rest my forehead on theirs as I whispers sweet nothings

#Listen I’m feeling romantic and I’m longing for love #Let me have this! #Romance #longing for love #feeling romantic #casual intimacy #i think that’s what this is

[lethalhoopla]

lil late night solavellan wip + solas face studies off to the side

been hankering to animate again so I roughed out a setup to base it off of, thought I'd ease back into it with.... objectively more finicky small movements and small interactions, oops lmao. can't resist a stolen stairwell moment, what can I say (￣ヮ￣|||)ゞ

#lethalhoopla wips #dai #solavellan #inquisitor lavellan #solas #they/them lavellan #solas is such a private person i like thinking about what casual intimacy between them would look like #lots of stolen moments ohoho #casual touch seems like it'd be an..... Important Thing #i just. i need. i need more moments of Solas getting to be.... Solas the Apostate Hedge Mage - nothing more nothing less #for a while with lavellan - that's all he had to be #and fuck me if that's not an arrow to the fucking heart #that said WOW solas sure has a Distinct Face that is Hard To Master HUH #ngl big action animation can be easier for me in some ways - i'm not doing ultra high fps animating after all so - #finicky lil movements require a lot more precision than big bombastic fighting or dancing or other major movements #fun challenge though bc all animators are at least a lil masochistic XD

[likethegardensofbabylonn]

the whole tom being kinda single and greg wanting to drag him to night clubs and hook him up with someone is soooooo because it reminds me of that interview with nick where he says that greg would tell tom to leave shiv cause he would be less tortured. and now is very possible greg says something like that on the show and the whole the more they go through together the closer they get, like this is the so called tom and greg era and I'm so sure they will have at least one serious and vulnerable moment like in season 3 and I will lose my mind until then

#i am actually excited for single tomgreg in clubs and being losers and tom being soooooo jealous and them touching cause there is always #casual intimacy between the two of them #and the whole brothers thing is soooooo on point cause im sure thats the only way tom could name what he feels for greg and ofc greg went #with it #tomgreg