#what the hell do i even tag this as seriously

[finniestoncrane]

Virginal vault dweller reader you say?? I'd eat that up (and so would Cooper, heh) but seriously I would read the hell out of that if you're up for it <3

Different Up Here

Cooper Howard x Fem!Reader, word count: 6.3k anon thank you lmao i had already started drafting this, so vault dweller reader isn't quite a virgin but they are definitely inexperienced and have never known pleasure like the kind that cooper can offer 🤎 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: power imbalance, dubious consent because once you've said yes to cooper you can't change your mind, overstimulation, crying, oral sex, fingering, rimming, instructional, full penetration babiessss i realised i never tag that shit but yeah it's in here lmao, cumming inside, no protection, sweet coop afterwards but only briefly

If anyone else had asked you in that moment how you were, you couldn't have answered accurately without any hint of sarcasm and irritation. You were being worn down, like buildings by the sands of the desert. Each little molecule of your optimism being torn away from you, painful like plucking a hair. But when Cooper asked you, you tried your best to push down your knee jerk response.

"Let's see, shall we? Since leaving the vault a month ago, bravely in search of resources and supplies for my friends, I have killed, maimed, and eaten things I hope to never think of again. I'm in a constant cycle of very, very stressed and then very, very bored where there is no happy medium between fearing for my life and wishing for death. And oh, by the way, I'm sweating buckets the whole time because it's deathly fucking warm. Thank you for asking, Cooper!"

Instead, you shrugged and offered him at least a partial truth.

"It sounds silly... but I'm kind of bored."

A dry chuckle passed over Cooper's lips.

"Heh, that's a new one for out here."

Sensing an opportunity to at least get some conversation out of him, you sat up on the rusty bed frame, your body sinking into the almost entirely flattened mattress as you crossed your legs and did your best to get Cooper to talk more than a sentence at a time.

"Really? I would have thought you'd be bored a lot, especially when there's no raiders, or mirelurks, or scavengers, or feral ghouls, or super mutants, or roving gangs of-"

"See, this is why I'm never bored. Always somethin' or someone to be killin'."

"But what about like... now? When there's nothing else to do. There's no magazines, no books, no TV."

You watched as Cooper turned from you with a slight smile. You knew the one, the familiar grin that meant you'd divulged some information about your life in the vaults, something he always found so amusing. It was your naivety, your optimism. He was endlessly fascinated by it, as though listening to you talk about it reminded him of something he had before.

That fascinated you. It made you want to stay around him, the way he listened silently as you talked about the old films that were on the holotapes, the food that was still fresh and available, the music you could hear whenever you wanted to, not reliant on some two-bit radio host. He paid attention to you. And any time his deep, brown eyes focused on your lips it made your heart flutter in an admittedly unexpected manner.

Remembering that feeling, you tried again, hoping that your next approach might be something that interested him a little more than just conversation.

"You know how we used to pass time in the vaults?"

Over the sound of the evening breezes that whipped up the sand you could still hear Cooper sigh before he spoke.

"Now if you tell me that you wanna go out there again tonight to find an old blast radius board... well I am just going to have to shoot you."

You laughed at what you hoped was a joke and waved him off, despite the fact that he was still turned away from you, unable to see your gesture as he tried ignoring you in what you assumed was the hope that you might shut up and leave him alone.

"No, no no no no no. Just..."

The lump in your throat felt like it was about to choke you, so you swallowed the clump of nerves quietly, your voice trembling as you finished your sentence.

"... fooling around... y'know?"

Cooper turned to face you. You had piqued his interest, and you couldn't help but show the giddy glee on your face, the smallest smile crossing your lips as your eyes widened. But his words wiped away all hope that you had garnered in that short span of time.

"Oh... oh darlin'."

He laughed a little, each little sound of the short, sharp giggle like a slap to the face.

"I don't think you're ready for that at all."

You raised an eyebrow, defiant, irritated, and keen to know how he thought he had you pegged so quickly. You'd never talked about anything like that with him before. Was he assuming that you were a virgin based on how you behaved around him alone? Maybe he figured that the lack of flirting on your part was down to a complete lack of experience, when in reality, it was because every flirtatious quip he threw your way made you so nervous and flustered you felt like you might throw up.

"How come I'm not ready? I mean, I've... I've done stuff... I've done it!"

"The fat you're not saying it how it is makes me think that you are absolut-"

"I've had sex, Cooper. I've fucked before. I've been fucked."

Blinking off the irritation at being interrupted by you, Cooper pushed up the brim of his hat and stared directly at you, as though he was examining your, to see if you would stand up for yourself any further.

"By who? One of your little buddies underground? Fucking like little bunnies? I don't think that qualifies you, sweetheart."

"Why? Sex is sex..."

You said it with such confidence. As if you really knew. As if you hadn't spent your teenage years practising on your hand, holding a pillow close, lining up for that one girl in the vault who would sell practice kisses for extra bubble-gum. You'd had sex before, of course. You weren't a liar. Just because you'd only ever done it once didn't render it nonfactual. Just because it had only lasted for all of four minutes. Just because you weren't sure you even orgasmed, and your friend had told you that you'd know if you'd orgasmed. Just because it was all over so quickly, and he'd run off before anyone could catch you both, avoiding you at every opportunity after that.

"... Isn't it?"

"Oh no it ain't. Besides, like I keep telling you, it's different up here. Everything's different up here. And that includes fuckin'."

The way he said the word, consonants enunciated with such grit and vigour, filled your stomach with knots that began to tighten as you considered in what way things were so different.

"What exactly do you mean by that?"

Cooper sighed, exasperated, resigning himself to the fact that you were going to keep talking to him regardless of his short replies and attempts to end the conversation.

"You are a dog with a bone, huh? Ain't gonna let it go."

His yellowed teeth were exposed as his lips pulled back in a baring, mischievous smile. Those knots doubled, the ends being pulled by tension in your nervous system as Cooper's smirk put you into a dazed stupor.

"No, sir."

"Now, I don't remember signing on to be your personal tutor in all things apocalypse. Do I really need to show you how everything works up here?"

As your cheeks began to blush, you nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes, sir."

You were hopeful for just a bit of a distraction. Something to help take the stress away. To relieve the tension that had been building up between you and Cooper as of late. You'd been studying him, watching the way he looked at you, fascinated by your perceived, and frankly obvious, innocence. The way his fingers moved, contributing to the skilful way he handled his gun and his ropes. The confidence, the charisma, the charms.

You wanted him, but you weren't quite sure how to broach the situation without it seeming desperate. But you were past that now. You were desperate For anything, just something. Something to cure the monotony of walking and hiding and fighting and surviving. You didn't want to just survive. You wanted to at least find a semblance of fun and pleasure in this nightmare you had found yourself in. And in the vaults, when board games and books and debates got boring, there was always fucking. That was what you desired most right now. The fact that Cooper happened to be the closest target for your desires was just a sweet miracle, or a cruel tease depending on how willing he was.

And luckily, he seemed agreeable.

"Well then, how about you come over here and let ol' Coop show you a little thing or two about how dirty you can really get up here in the mean, dusty Wasteland, hm?"

Your excitement was palpable, even though you were trying to keep your composure. There was no escaping the echo of the giddy squeal you let out as you jumped up from the bed and made your way over to Cooper. He waited in the far corner of the room, setting himself down on an old armchair as you stepped towards him, slapping his thighs as an indication of where he wanted you. And you did as you were told, following his instructions, knowing they hadn't led you astray so far in your time together.

It felt awkward at first, being so close to him. You shifted your weight nervously, trying to get comfortable while making sure Cooper was still at ease, which of course, he was. He always was. Nothing stirred him, he was forever at peace. Competent in any situation. Quick to adapt. And as you fidgeted and fussed, you felt his strong hands pushing you forward on his lap, until your chests were practically pressed together, his hands skirting over your lower back as he held you still. In command. In control. The sudden sensation of his hands on your body made your breath hitch, a soft, surprised squeal on the inhale that had Cooper raising his brow at you.

"Now... you agree that you asked for this, alright? Because I am not going to put my effort into entertaining your little whims if you're gonna get fussy and decide it's too much for you. I did warn you."

"Yes, you did, and I really don't think you needed to. I doubt there's too much different about it, and I've picked up what I needed to know pretty quickly from your other lessons, haven't I?"

Your retaliation to his insistence that you needed him to teach you everything, and that some things just might prove themselves a little too hard even for your levels of enthusiasm, had irritated him when he'd first met you. But now your optimism and sheer refusal to believe anything was too much for you were a source of entertainment for him. A challenge.

"That's fine then, darlin'. But I'll remember that."

His eyes bore into your soul, keeping your focus on him as he dared you to look away. They sparkled as he ran his tongue over his lips, the pretence of preparing for his next words covering the obvious flirtation in the way he dragged the flat muscle along his chapped skin.

"So, gimme a benchmark here, lil lady. How much foreplay was involved in your previous encounters? I'd hate to leave you high and dry."

"Foreplay...? What... uh, what is that?"

Cooper sighed, rolling his eyes before closing his eyelids over gently.

"Well, it's something like this."

He pushed a loose strand of hair back behind your ear, rough fingers following the curve and grazing over your neck as he let them drift down the front of your chest, tickling the exposed skin as far as your jumpsuit would allow before he took a hold of the zip at the front. A quick flit of his eyes up to you seemed to ask for permission, and your small, almost imperceptible nod, told him to keep going.

Slowly, painfully so, he pulled the zip down, watching as the centre of your torso was slowly revealed to him. Smooth skin, in comparison to his anyway, clear of any unnatural blemishes or war wounds. One calloused digit followed down your sternum to your stomach and back up, hooking under the left side of the fabric and pulling it over, then the other, exposing the top half of your body to him.

Cooper traced his fingertips over the top of your breasts, watching as your chest moved in and out, slowly, but exaggeratedly. The knots in your stomach felt like they might burst with the tension as his sharp, ragged nails crossed over your hardening nipples, a gentle tingle coursing through your veins.

"Well?"

"No... n-nothing like that... just grabbing..."

"Oh yeah? You like that? How about this?"

He closed two fingers around your nipple, one hand still on your back to keep you balanced as your body reacted to his touch. Between the two digits, you felt your nipples heating up, the slight, burning pain from the way he squeezed them sending a signal down your spine that seemed to affect every part of you. Tighter, tighter, and then as your eyes closed a little more, eyelids pressed tight, he would ease up to offer some relief.

"You like that? Like it rough?"

"I think... I think I like both."

"So, something like this?"

He teased your nipples once more, pressing harder with his fingertips, pulling them out and jiggling your breasts as he tugged at them, this lewder act interspersed with a gentle caress as he held your breast against the palm of his hand, carefully cupping it as he flicked his thumb over the sensitive and completely erect nipple.

You bit your lip, trying to keep quiet, Coop's hand moved swiftly from your body to your cheeks, popping the lip back out as he pressed his thumb and forefinger into your face. Understanding the message, and seemingly showing this in your wide-eyed gaze, he let his rough, leathery hand make its way back down to your breast, cupping it once more as he spoke.

"Different, see? Pleasure is hard to come by out here. You gotta do it right when you've got the chance."

Cooper leaned into your neck, whispering the words low and slowly, his dry, chapped lips skimming over your skin as he continued.

"I bet down there they didn't know the first thing about real pleasure. Takes time, something like that. You gotta learn the body, gotta make it feel good."

His teeth grazed over your shoulder and back up along your neck before he pulled back, watching your eyes refocus from the haze of arousal.

"Did they make you feel good?"

"No."

You were confident in that statement. It hadn't felt good. It felt rushed. Clumsy. Shameful. And as you pondered it, your mouth remained open in a slight pout which trembled as Cooper asked his next question.

"And what about your pretty lips... did they kiss them?"

"A little..."

Cooper leaned in, his rough lips pressing onto yours with firm contact, his tongue staying in place as though he imagined that might be a bit too much for you right now. But that same level of restraint didn't keep him from letting his teeth catch onto your bottom lip, pulling it out, only letting go when you winced in surprise as the suddenness of the action.

"Didn't bite them either. Of course not, what am I thinking? That would be a little too adventurous for your kind."

His face took on a darker tone as he smiled knowingly towards you.

“And what about these pretty lips?”

Before you could piece together the question, his hand was diving into your jumpsuit, pushing down the front and past the waist, stroking against the front of your underwear which, by now, was soaking wet with your arousal.

“They touch these lips, huh?”

You gasped as he pushed your underwear to the side, stroking his fingers along your slick, plump pussy lips, withdrawing them soon after to taste you on his tongue, the way you had watched him taste the blood of enemies, the blood of victims.

“Stand up, darlin’… Why don’t you take that suit off, hm? Get yourself comfy.”

As you raised yourself up from his hips, your legs wobbled under you, not quite steady enough to support you so soon after being reduced to jelly by Cooper’s touch, his caramelised words that filled your ears, the sharp twang of his accent, the delicate cadence, the power rumbling underneath like an almost silent bassline.

“Do it slowly though.”

Cooper watched carefully as you stood nervously before him, shuffling out of your suit, stripping for him, your hips moving from side to side slow and steady, unintentionally sultry in the way you moved. Without taking his eyes from you he reached for his canteen, taking a long sip from it as you let your suit fall down over your legs, stepping out of it and pushing it to the side with your feet.

“That’s it, darlin’. Can’t do this half-hearted. I need to have access to all of you there. Now come sit back down.”

You held your arms in front of you, feeling far too exposed for the shelter you’d found for the evening. No windows, no locks on the doors. But it was difficult to focus on that worry for too long as you watched Cooper’s tongue flit back out over his lips, clear strands of drool sparkling in the light as he took you in, hungrily, dreamily.

“Turn around though. You face that way.”

The metal buttons on the front of his duster coat were cold against the skin of your back, but you leaned into them anyway. Cooper’s hand curved around your neck and up under your chin, holding your face forward.

“You keep an eye out, holler if you see anything coming. I’ll do everything else.”

A faint clicking sound, the safety on his gun being flicked to off, before those same fingers draped over your mound and down on to your lips, spreading them apart, the cool air of the decrepit room cooling the heat of your hot, aching cunt. With two fingers holding your lips apart, he let the middle digit tap against your clit, each tiny sensation turning your blood cold before heating it exponentially, a cold sweat beginning to form on your brow as you felt a tingle in your abdomen.

The finger that tapped the sensitive bud began stroking it from side to side, laying flat against it length wise as Cooper strummed your body, still holding your chin in his hands, smiling to himself every time your back arched away from him in intense pleasure. Every nerve-ending was at his mercy. He was right, it was different up here. But you wondered how much of that was the Wasteland and it’s effect on sexuality and pleasure, and how much of it was just him. Cooper Howard, Wasteland bounty hunter, a past life he refused to talk about, the most charismatic monster you had ever met. His fingers, daintily crossing over your clit, as you felt his breath, silent except for an occasional hum of satisfaction in the form of a long moan. Maybe it was just Cooper who was different.

It was hard to focus on this new line of though as his hard fingertips clamped down on your clit, pinching it as he rolled it between his fingers. Even harder when he let his hand drop from your neck and instead began teasing at your nipples once more. Soft, cruel flicks over the hardened bumps, his fingers at work on your body, his lips kissing at the back of your neck. Moans growing louder, more frequent, as he let himself enjoy the act of making you squirm. You could tell he was having fun, as you rolled your hips back a little, feeling the thick bulge of his stiffening cock against your rear. You wondered how it might feel, how it might look, and what he could do differently with it.

“Cooper… Coop… I think I’m going to cum…”

His movements quickened, cock twitching against your body as he pinched tighter and pressed his fingers harder against your cunt.

“Don’t you dare, little lady.”

“Ok I’ll… I’ll try but… you have to… stop… please stop… Coop…”

He ignored your please, the whining, desperate begging as you tried to stop your body from the natural, encouraged reaction.

“Have some self-control, sweetheart.”

“Cooper, I really can’t… please… please stop touching me…”

“I absolutely will not.”

Your fingers dug into his thighs, but you noticed that you refused to move away from him. You wanted to do as he asked, wanted to hold yourself back from the brink of orgasm to prolong his touch, but you couldn’t risk him actually stopping, fearing that your body might crumble if his fingers left your quivering, pathetic body for only a second.

Each stroke against your increasingly wet and sensitive pussy had you trembling and shaking, and Cooper had to remove his hand from your breast to keep you steady, placing it under your chin and holding you steady by the neck.

“I am warning you, missy.”

“Cooper… I can’t stop…”

You shuddered and whined as your body gave in to the temptation, feeling a rush of heat and relief as you came on his lap, your arousal coating his pants, adding to the collection of stains and wear on them. But he didn’t stop then.

“No wait… seriously, Cooper… I can’t… I can’t take much more, honestly…”

“Listen, I told you. I said you better not cum. I wasn’t done with you yet.”

Your eyes began to sting with tears of exasperation as your body kept on pushing to its limits, conjuring up another wave of climax, tormenting you with never-ending bouts of arousal that kept you rutting against him, despite how painful it was to keep writhing into his body. You could feel your stomach knotting again, not much time between each orgasm to relax, and you dug your hands into his thighs, pushing your body up off of him as you tensed completely.

“Ok, this time, you do it on my command. You do it when I say you can, alright?”

“Cooper…”

“Don’t give me that pleading shit, you asked me to show you how things are done. Well this is how Cooper fuckin’ Howard does things. So are you ready? You gonna come for me?”

“C-coop… I’ll… I’ll try…”

“Good girl, now you keep that mouth making those whines and moans. I don’t need you to call out my name or anything, I know I’m all you’re thinking about.”

The praise, the self-confidence, the way his fingers seemed to be pulling your orgasm out, motioning for it to come closer to him.

“Come on, darlin’, come on…”

Your vision blurred as the climax came over you, body rolling and convulsing as you came once more at Cooper’s insistence, your cheeks stained with tears, salted water rolling through the layers of grime and clearing paths to your chin.

As you settled back down onto his lap with a shudder, you felt Cooper’s fingers stroking through your hair. He was surprisingly gentle, oddly calm, but you supposed that you deserved his kindness as you had done as he had asked, making up for your previous indiscretion. He was almost cooing, shushing you as you found your breath, establishing your sense of self once more after the overstimulating orgasm that shook your core.

“You seen enough of the big bad world for one day then?”

You probably had, but you still found yourself shaking your head, ignoring the way your body reacted with a violent twitch at the notion of Cooper’s hands delivering intense pleasure.

“A glutton for punishment, hm? Or just keen to learn?”

As you pondered your answer, Cooper seemed to have come to the conclusion for you, as he tapped your hips and began to shift underneath you.

“Alright then, get onto your knees.”

Positioning yourself at his feet, you couldn’t help but look up at him, catching his eyes as he looked down at you with that unique brand of disdain and intrigue he had somehow mastered. You knew what was coming, what was about to happen, and your mouth began watering at the thought. What he might taste like. What he might look like.

You didn’t have to imagine for long though, as you could see his fingers working the belt of his pants, loosening it, unzipping his fly, and gripping his semi-erect cock at the base as he took it out, brandishing it. He kept close attention on your own eyes, a soft sigh of relief imperceptibly escaping his chest as he noticed your pupils widen, your mouth opening in preparation for him.

It was exactly as you had expected. The texture of the shaft was similar to that of his cheeks and his forearms, a similar colouring, though darker at the base and on the shaft which was tinted red. Thick, purple tinged veins covered it, winding around the length, cutting across the ridges of the scars.

“You can come closer, darlin’. I don’t know what they told you about mutations and radiation effects down there in your little utopia, but I can assure you… it doesn’t bite.”

The fear was palpable, clearly, but it was nothing to do with Cooper’s body and everything to do with your lack of experience, which, despite you arguing otherwise, was becoming plainly obvious even to you. You had only ever touched a cock with your hands outside of being quickly fucked. Several times you’d been cajoled into quickly stroking an erection under the blankets before your partner ran off to the bathroom, clean and tidy, flushing away the sins. And you were very well aware that there was always the option to suck on one, but it had never presented itself. It had never seemed that appealing to you. Until you were faced with Cooper’s.

He hadn’t even asked you to do either yet, but you found yourself curious, salivating over the thought of him, mind racing as you imagined how he might feel against your tongue.

“Can I taste it… you?”

Cooper smiled warmly, one of the few times you had seen him look at you with genuine pride.

“Now that is using your initiative. Of course you can.”

You kept your hands to yourself as you leaned in towards his body, content to let Cooper wield his length at you, his hand firm around the base as you inched closer, tongue pressed out over your lips. A strand of drool collected and spilled forward, hitting the floor in a soft patter just before the tip of your tongue came into contact with the tip of his cock.

A lot of the movements were instinctual, following your desires more than what you thought might be protocol as you dragged your tongue up the shaft and swirled over the blushing head of his cock. It tasted bitter, but in a pleasant way.  Savoury, not sweet. Salted, a tang that stayed there for a few seconds after your tongue had moved on to another spot. A flavour you found yourself craving now.

Cooper gripped tighter and pushed forward, taking you by surprise as he slid himself into your mouth, his free hand moving to the back of your head, fingers curling into your hair. As the taste of him hit the back of your tongue, cock almost touching your throat, you coughed and spluttered a little.

“Fuck me, darlin’… do you need me to show you how to do this too?”

He looked down at you, filled with pity as he saw your face. Red cheeks, puffed out, lips stretched over the girth of his cock, tears welling up in your eyes as you struggled to breathe.

“Breath through your nose… breathe in…”

You followed his instructions, instantly calmed when you found your lungs filling with air once more. Almost immediately back to enjoying yourself, the feeling of Cooper inside of you, the control he had as he held your head against him.

“Now… you don’t want to choke too much, so keep your tongue flat… yeah, just like that…”

It was so much easier like that, and you could feel your cheeks getting warmer and redder as you realised that not only had you embarrassed yourself with your spluttering and lack of knowledge, but that Cooper had clearly done this a lot.

“And your teeth… well, usually they’ll tell you to keep ‘em outta the way, but you know me… gotta be different…”

Taking the hint, you let your jaw close slightly, the pain of the stretch lessened, your teeth scraping along the top of his shaft as your tongue worked the underneath, sucking and rolling as much as you could while keeping it flat.

He didn’t say much else, and you couldn’t tell if he was particularly enjoying himself. It worried you, the fact that he had specific preferences, the way it was so clear how much more experienced he was than you. How many others had there been? And were they all better than you? As your mind wandered to your anxieties, you completely missed the fact that you had begun to drool all over yourself until Cooper relaxed his grip on your head and wiped at your chin with his thumb. Catching your eyes and sensing some of your worries, he was surprisingly quick to soothe you.

“You can swallow or spit or let it all spill out, I don’t mind makin’ a mess darlin’. But whatever you’re doing, you keep that up.”

You were so pathetically grateful for the encouragement, for the tiniest semblance of praise, that you felt yourself moaning involuntarily. The soothing motion of sucking on his cock, the taste of something new, the comforting knowledge that he was happy with your efforts. You could feel your clit throbbing, aroused by Cooper’s satisfaction, how pleased he was with the way you worked him over.

Which is why it surprised you so much when he pulled his cock from your mouth, your lips slipping off of it with a disgustingly lewd popping sound, drool spilling onto your chin in long strands which stretched from your lips to his cock and tore apart as he distanced himself from you.

And again, that sympathetic gaze, the way he could tell what you were thinking before you even said it.

“Oh, don’t you look at me with those big, sad eyes. You got nothin’ to worry about, sweetheart. That was good, ‘specially for a first try…”

He winked to you as he spoke, causing your heart to skip enough beats that you thought you might die there and then.

“… It’s just that I’m all slicked up and ready to go now… so you wanna bend over for me? Or do you wanna come sit on my lap?”

“Uh… lap, please… I was kinda bent over for the last… first time.”

“Well, you come and take a seat then, darlin’, let ol’ Coop show you something new.”

You nervously settled your entirely nude body back down onto his thighs. Cooper’s hands were gentle against your shoulders as he pulled you backwards with him, leaning at a slight angle in the chair, his cock rigid and firm as it sat against your waiting cunt, coated in your drool which almost seemed to shimmer with the dancing light of the fire.

Then, so carefully, so gently, far more than you’d ever seen him be before, Cooper took hold of his cock at the base and slid it inside of you, one hand on your stomach as he braced you, keeping your body steady as he inserted himself further and further between your clenching walls.

“Bigger than before?”

You nodded, biting your lip as you felt the distinct stretch, his rough, textured cock forcing its way inside your cunt, pressed up to the hilt, testing your limits.

“Better?”

“Mhm…”

“Speak up, darlin’.”

With your voice strained and breathy, you managed to form some words.

“Yes… it’s better.”

“That’s it, good girl. Now, I’m gonna buck my hips, ok? You just try and keep your balance.”

Below you, Cooper shifted a little, his hips rolling backwards, inches of his cock escaping your tight, aching cunt, before he rolled them forwards and upwards, back into you. A slow, steady pace that he focused on keeping until you felt warmer, more relaxed.

“You got this, it’s like riding a horse.”

“I’ve never… hm… ridden a horse…”

Cooper chuckled, a low and rasping sound that sent shivers over your skin and seemed close enough to you that it was coming from inside of your body.

“Never ridden a ghoul before either, but you’re handling it alright for a first timer.”

You were coping ok, you had to admit, but you could feel your stomach muscles tensing, the knots back in full force as they tensed and tightened, loosened and frayed with each pump of his cock within you.

“Ah… Cooper…”

“Too much, darlin’? Does it hurt?”

There was a sense of genuine care in his tone, as though he had taken it upon himself to show you that yes, things were different up there in the Wasteland, but that didn’t always mean they were worse. Some things were good, if not a little bit difficult to take at first.

“A little…”

Cooper tilted your chin up, forcing your head to lean back completely against his shoulder. In a delicate move, one far more romantic than you imagined from him, he ran his thumb over your lips, angling his neck to look at them, his own mouth open ever so slightly, a monotonous panting as he kept his hips moving, increasing the speed and the force at which he entered you.

His eyes flicked up suddenly, looking into yours, catching your gaze and holding unblinking eye contact as he spoke.

“I know… I know… Just a little longer, though…”

He closed his eyes, focusing on the feeling of his cock pushing against your body, enveloped in your hot, wet, velvety interior.

“I know it hurts… but I ain’t stopping, so don’t even ask… here…”

You watched as he brought a finger to your lips, offering it up to you.

“…you bite down on that if it gets too much, ok… but don’t hold back on those sweet sounds… I wanna hear you scream.”

With that vaguely threatening remark, he thrust up into you, banging against your body, spurring on your orgasm but unleashing a dull ache that spread through every sensitive part of you.

“Won’t… be long… keep it together… good girl…  good girl…”

It felt good, the pain, the sting, the ache, the shivers. The fact that he was using you, finding pleasure in you. All of it culminating in Cooper’s nearing orgasm which you could sense was closing in on him. His movements were becoming more frantic, sloppier, and he was mouthing all manner of sweet nothings as he let his façade slip away.

And those soft mumbles opened up into a wide roar as he clung to your body, the hand on your neck cutting off the air to your lungs only briefly, one hand on your lap pressing sharp indents into your skin as he forced himself into you. The last few moments of his fevered thrusting, fucking you wildly, drool pooling in the corner of his mouth as he rutted into you in a dazed stupor before his body gave in. His cock throbbed, each pulse sending another rope of cum against your insides, filling you with his seed as he shuddered finally, slinking backwards into the chair and taking in a deep breath as you removed yourself from him.

You’d only managed to take a few steps forward before Cooper addressed you, opening his eyes to watch you standing there awkwardly, his cum dripping down your thighs, a warmth that quickly turned cool in the air of the room.

“Did I say you could get up?”

Panic settled in your chest, aware that you had waited until you felt his muscles relax, his body retreating from you, before you slid off his cock, expecting him to push you away anyway, like your first time. You assumed he was finished, and you weren’t sure you were ready for the idea that he might not be done with you.

“Are we… oh, Cooper, I really can’t take anymore.”

Even as you stood, you could feel your legs shaking, weakened by the intense orgasms, the way they tightened against his every movement.

“That’s different up here too then, I suppose.”

Cooper stood up from the chair, pacing towards you with a purposeful stride as he pushed his cock back into his pants, zipping them up as he reached you. You inhaled sharply as he placed his hand at the back of your head, those knots in your stomach beginning to form again, worried that a further, albeit pleasurable punishment was on the cards. But you were surprised as he slid his free hand around your back, tugging at your waist as he pulled you in close to him. A quick smile before his lips were on yours, the brim of his hat pushed upwards as he leaned into the kiss. Warm, gentle, the kind of kiss you’d seen in movies. Practised and confident, meaningful, sincere.

When he pulled back, your body following him a little before you settled back onto your feet, he smiled warmly.

“Sweet with the sour, darlin’. You gotta keep ‘em wanting more.”

“M-more?”

More as in now? Or more as in the idea that Cooper had enjoyed himself and would be willing to offer that kind of pleasure to you again. And he answered with a wink.

“Definitely. There’s a still a lot you’ve got to learn.”

#fallout #fallout amazon #if this flops I’ll nuke everything by the way this fuckin behemoth stressed me out so much lmaooo #x reader #finnie writes #cooper howard #the ghoul #fallout fic #cooper howard x reader #the ghoul x reader #cooper howard fanfiction #cooper howard one shot #cooper howard smut #cooper howard imagine #fallout tv #fallout tv series #walton goggins #cooper howard x fem!reader

[bby-deerling]

Love your Hcs ❤️ they're so creative 🥰😋🎉

would you do one for me "caught in the act" - with Zoro, Kid and Law making love to you when suddenly someone of their crew enters (they don't know about your relationship) 🙏pleeasssee

getting caught with you (nsfw)

masterlist || commissions

cw: secret relationships (being exposed), zoro's part turns into a circus, zoro is an idiot (<3), lowkey crack taken seriously, kid is a menace, brat taming (w/kid), rough sex (w/kid), exhibitionism kinda (w/kid)

tagging: @willowbelle @eelnoise @fanaticsnail @indydonuts @zorolux

zoro

so caught up in the delirium of each other's touch, neither you nor zoro notice sanji entering the supply closet until he lets out a gasp and promptly faints from blood loss upon catching a glimpse of your naked form. both of you scrambling as the loud thud of the cook collapsing to the floor prompts the signature clack of nami's heels to approach the pantry, zoro hastily throws a nearby tarp over both of your bodies right as the navigator swings open the door.

"ew, gross!" she squeals, her scream echoing loudly and luring in the rest of your friends who were milling around nearby on the deck. while chopper barely even registers what's going on with you and zoro, more focused on attending to sanji's well-being, usopp, brook, and luffy are all laughing hysterically, though luffy is more so laughing along because everyone else is. that much is clear when he loudly asks why you both are naked, wondering if you'd both ripped your clothes or something similar.

"they were having sex, luffy!" usopp hisses, and luffy's eyes widen before he grins. "oh! you two must really like each other then, huh?" he exclaims with a smile as chopper helps sanji to his feet. zoro's patience was already wearing thin, but when the cook shoots a biting remark about the swordsman not deserving you his way, he's up in an instant and ready to clash with him, completely forgetting that he was naked. when the rest of your crewmates shriek in shock, he mindlessly and instinctively grabs the tarp that was covering both of you, accidentally exposing you.

"zoro, what the hell!" you squeak out, as robin creates a barrier of hands around your body to shield your privacy, using some of them to return some of your clothes to you so that you can get dressed.

"sorry..." he mumbles as he grabs his sweatpants and pulls them up quickly, before snapping at the rest of the crew to quit staring.

"blech. are you two together? because i made a bet that..." nami starts, and both of you cut her off with a simultaneous yes; usopp sighs as he hands the navigator a handful of cash, and the crew begins to disperse, including you and zoro, who are now far too embarrassed to finish what you had started.

kid

"you gonna keep staring, killer? you can stay and watch if ya' want." kid taunts when killer opens the door to his bedroom and finds you splayed out underneath him; though your relationship was a secret from the rest of the crew, it's a sight killer was accustomed to walking in on, and he simply sighs and rolls his eyes from underneath his mask. kid doesn't stop the movements of his hips for a moment, causing you to smack him on the forehead and tell him to cut it out until killer leaves the room.

"dinner is served. was wondering if you two planned on coming to eat any time soon." killer says, almost bored and completely unfazed.

"kinda busy here." kid replies, tilting his head towards you as you cover up your breasts with your arms, annoyed.

"i'll save a couple plates then." killer says, letting out a small, irritated sigh as he leaves the room, thankful that his mask hides the secret blush on his face.

"you're a real asshole, you know that? you can't even bother to cover me up?" you hiss at him once the door shuts, but your angry ramblings are broken up by gasps as he slams his thick cock deep inside of you.

"y'know i just love fucking the attitude out of you, pipsqueak. i know you love it too." he replies with a smirk; you let out a huff as you bite back a moan, knowing full well that he's right.

law

as the soft hum of music and a mixture of moans fills law's office, the two of you are too wrapped up with entwining tongues with each other and the way he lazily thrusts into your sloppy pussy to notice the creak of the door as it opens.

"oops, sorry captain!" shachi exclaims, doubling over laughing as both of you nearly jump out of your skin from the sound of his voice. for a split second, law considers simply teleporting both of you to his bedroom to continue unraveling you, but he knows that refusing to talk about this with shachi would cause misinformation to spread around the submarine like wildfire; so, he thanks every star hanging above his head that the two of you were already underneath a throw blanket and puts all of his weight on top of you to shield your body further.

"what do i have to do to get you to keep this a secret?" law asks with a deep sigh, neck straining as he looks up at his snickering friend.

shachi taps his finger on his chin a few times as he hums, trying to make sure he comes up with the most advantageous answer possible for himself. "no night shift or cleaning the floors for a month." he says with a smirk; law relents, giving him a nod before telling him to get out of here, which shachi responds to with an enthusiastic "yes, captain!"

though before he can slip out of the office, the door swings open once more; this time it's bepo, who lets out a loud gasp, his eyes widening until he suddenly turns on his feet and starts screaming down the hallway to anyone who would listen that the two of you were finally together.

"dammit bepo, you ruined my deal!" shachi yells as he follows his polar bear friend, causing law to sigh and teleport a heavy chair against the door, preventing anyone else from walking in and interrupting his attempts to shower you with affection from the inside out.

#one piece x reader #zoro x reader #law x reader #eustass kid x reader #roronoa zoro x reader #trafalgar law x reader #eutass kidd x reader #zoro x you #law x you #eustass kid x you #one piece headcanons #one piece drabble #one piece fanfiction #one piece smut #zoro smut #law smut #eustass kid smut

[canonicallyobserving911]

STOP TRYING TO ERASE EDDIE DIAZ!

This is a CANON FACT!

📣📣📣 Eddie is Chris' FATHER!

He's his biological father.

I added most of the latter part of this post to a reblog of a post I did last year about Eddie being an awesome dad but I decided to do a separate post because it's getting real interesting out here in these 911blr tags especially since BT shippers and former Buddie shippers keep trying to ERASE EDDIE DIAZ so Buck and T*mmy can raise Chris.

Like what the actual F%ck?

I've been on a blocking and tag filtering spree for more than two weeks so anyone posting BS like this and any negativity about Buddie have been BLOCKED!

Here's my original post that I added to the tags.

-------

Ok... I saw several posts on main that were VERY DiStuRbiNg! Therefore, I'm reblogging this just in case there are some new people who recently joined 911blr and they're unaware of this especially since Chris has only been in one episode this season (7x1)!

If you're new here... Hello, hi and welcome.

Now on to the business at hand!

BE CLEAR!

EDDIE DIAZ IS CHRISTOPHER'S FATHER!

Buck is ONLY HIS LEGAL GUARDIAN and that's in the event that Eddie's dies so don't get it twisted.

There's NO way Buck and T*mmy will be raising Chris together like Chris is their son.

No one can erase Eddie!

Buck WILL NOT be raising Chris with T*mmy🤬😡.

T*mmy is A PLOT DEVICE and HE IS NOT part of The BUCKLEY-DIAZ FAMILY.

Eddie added Buck to his will not Buck +1. Therefore Buck will only be raising Chris with EDDIE DIAZ, Chris' biological father. They've already built a family and it's been 6 years. Eddie told Buck, "There's nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you".

He didn't say that to T*mmy! Hell, T*mmy wasn't even around back then. He's only been in like 3 episodes and he'll be gone soon!

Stop trying to ERASE EDDIE BY UNALIVING HIM so Buck can raise Chris with T*mmy.

It's ludicrous and asinine and down right ridiculous!

Seriously!

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #christopher diaz #the buckley diaz family #buckley diaz family #911 abc #911 on abc #911 spoilers #911 speculation #911 season 7 speculation #911 season 7 #911 meta #ryan guzman #oliver stark #gavin mchugh #anti tommy kinard #Anti bucktommy

[tiredfox64]

Can you write about the reader tagging along with Lin Kuei brothers on a mission and where they are us cold, which the reader hates and gets cold very easily and each opportunity the brothers would find a way to warm the reader themselves?

Ice Can Help

Prior notes: I would complain about the cold but I need to complain about the heat now. Tell me why it’s gonna be 80 tomorrow and almost 90 on Monday 💀

Pairings: Lin Kuei Bros x Gn reader

Warnings ‼️: You shall walk with no fear

And you thought home was cold. Forget it, you rather take that than this.

The finest fake fur can’t save you right now. Nor any thermal wear that covers your arms and legs.

Yet the brothers walk in this harsh blizzard with ease. Not a single goosebump rises on their arms from the snow that comes pelting at their skin. That same snow feels like it’s aiming constantly at eyes. You’re lucky it’s not sticking to the couple of inches of snow that is already on the ground. If it raises any higher you’ll be doing a weird march just to move forward.

Your teeth clattered together as you hug your body to keep yourself even the tiniest bit warm. You’re constantly trying to keep your snot in but your nose is so numb you can’t tell if it’s still leaking. Why the hell would Liu Kang send you out to help the boys? You already hate the cold. This just feels like torture or some sort of mental training. See how long you can last before you snap.

“What is taking you so long?” Bi-Han yelled at you from a distance.

You didn’t even realize how far behind you were until you looked up.

“It’s hard walking in this weather. It’s freezing.” You answered back.

“It is not. Why did you come if you cannot handle this mere weather.”

“Because I was freaking told to, Bi-Han! I ain’t have no choice!” If Bi-Han is gonna give you attitude you gonna send it back.

Tomas was kind enough to walk over to you to keep you company as you guys kept moving. His arm wrapped around to to bring you close. It’s incredible that he still can maintain his body temperature at a healthy level. You forget that these guys train to handle intense circumstances and weather counts as an intense circumstance. Now you’re grateful that his body was still very warm cause you started leaning into his more than you meant to. He noticed you actions and he decided to check on your temperature by placing the back of his hand against your cheek.

“Are you okay? You’re freezing. You can’t go on while you’re nearly freezing to death.”Did your mother possess Tomas, what the heck is going on?

He brings you into a hug, your face now shoved in his chest area. It actually helps to warm your face since it prevents the snow from pelting you. It gives you the change to warm your nose up so you could breathe properly. You can’t lie you could get used to this. His hugs are healing.

“What now?!” You heard Bi-Han yell once more.

Tomas started explaining that you were horribly cold. Bi-Han didn’t want to hear that complaint again today. Kuai Liang was the one who took it seriously and before Bi-Han could stop his brother from paying any mind to you he was already in front of you.

“You should have told me they were like this. I could have warmed them easily.”

Of course, Kuai Liang would be the best option here. He used his pyromancy to cause flames to ignite, forming a circle around you three. The heat that emitted from the flames was much more pleasing than the harsh cold the wind produced. For extra measures Kuai Liang decided to hug you as well. Him and Tomas basically sandwiched you to help warm you up. Oh and it was working. A moment ago it felt like your cheeks were about to lose feeling and now they are burn up like you had hot coals shoved inside your mouth. This works in your favor. Thank goodness the fur of your jacket helped hide that satisfied smile that naturally produced from this hug session.

The only one who is not satisfied is Bi-Han. Times being wasted and he wants to get a move on. You three seem to be happy just where you are. Even the snow can’t hide the smiles on Tomas’ and Kuai Liang’s face as they look down at you. You did look pretty adorable snuggling up to them. If only Bi-Han could get in on that action. But now’s not the time! Y’all have a mission to get it.

“Fine, if they need to be warmed up let me in so we can be done with this.” Bi-Han started to make his way towards you before Kuai Liang gestured for him to stop.

“No, brother, you are too cold. You will only reverse all the efforts we have made.” Plus, there’s not enough room for another man to cuddle you.

Oh so Bi-Han is the problem now. He’s just about done with this. So they think he will make things worse? He begs to differ.

You started to hear the cracking and squeaking of ice as it starts to formed around all of you. It formed into a dome and soon you were unable to hear the wind blowing. There is no more snow striking you as if it were blades.

Of course, an igloo. Why didn’t you think of that.

“I didn’t know you could do that.” Tomas stared in awe at the icey walls.

“Of course I can, Tomas. Never doubt me again.” He said it like he actually knew he could do this. He just did it out of pure anger.

You were feeling way better than before. You don’t have to worry about hypothermia taking one of your toes. Kuai Liang produced more fire to help warm you up while Tomas used his body heat to deal with the rest of your body. And Bi-Han…ah he’s a little grumpy. Leave him be but thank him for his amazing abilities.

By now you were able to feel every part of your body again. Nothing felt stiff or numb. You were even sweating a little from all the heat that was being trapped in the igloo. Kuai Liang and Tomas were happy to see some color in your face again that didn’t signify you were freezing.

“Thank you guys. I’m feeling much better. Maybe I should have you guys visit in the winter more often to save me some money on the heating bill,” you joked while looking at Kuai Liang and Tomas, “Okay, Bi-Han, I’m ready to move on.”

“Good, great, wonderful, come on!” He yelled the last part at you before kicking open a hole in the igloo.

He was already on the move, ready to get this mission over with. He’s gonna have a nice talk with Liu Kang about sending you out here with them.

You’ll do the same. You’ll let that fire god know that you won’t ever do another mission in the cold weather. You rather stay home with a bunch of blankets wrapped around you than deal with this hell. But you did get a nice cuddle session out of this. This won’t be the last time, you’ll make sure of it.

After notes: The state that I live in has summers that are like hell and winters where you are at the lowest part of hell and the devil is constantly flapping his wings. Maybe cause a sort of devil does live in this state. Whoops. Welp I hope you don’t mind that this was simple and short. Sorry if this isn’t what you want. Now I have to get goin, Adiós!

#mortal kombat #mk1 #mortal kombat 1 #mortal kombat1 #mortal kombat x reader #mortal kombat x you #mk x reader #mk x you #mk fanfic #tomas vrbada x reader #tomas vrbada x you #tomas vrbada #bi han x reader #bi han x you #kuai liang x you #kuai liang x reader #mk1 kuai liang #bi han mk #bi han sub zero #kuai liang #tomas vrbada smoke #bi han mortal kombat #bi han #lin kuei brothers #tomas x you #tomas x reader

[katnissdoesnotfollowback]

kdnfb's Ten Years of Fanfiction Mania

Featuring: Unmasked

Summary: Written under an Anonymous pseudonym ~M~ to fill the following prompt ~ Historical Katniss and Peeta hate each other. They attend a masquerade ball and for some reason end up kissing each other. Sparks fly everywhere. Katniss tries to find the man behind the mask but Peeta knows it was Katniss though he doesnt say anything. They end up bethrothed even if they 'despise' each other. How they fall in love is up to u and how katniss figured out it was peeta is up to u

Rating: E for explicit sexual content, explicit language, implied/referenced rape/nonconsensual (not everlark), implied/referenced child abuse, implied/referenced suicide, implied/referenced miscarriage, discussions of illness, war, and injury in a historical setting, ptsd, minor character death. They worst of these tags happens offscreen and is merely discussed and dealt with rather than shown here.

A/N: ~Unmasked~ is my longest fic in terms of word count (around 234k), although Outside Chance and Spellbound are not too far behind and are both incomplete. Unmasked started as something meant to be fun and cathartic, then turned into a ridiculously long and self indulgent fic that I still, to this day, have no idea if the anonymous person who submitted the prompt to @everlarkficexchange even read, let alone whether or not they liked it. But I love what I produced for this fic.

Why write it anonymously and only reveal myself later? A couple reasons. 1) Historical is not my wheel house. At least not writing it. I am a shameless consumer of historical romances. I did some research for this fic but not nearly the level I would've liked to have done. Eventually, I said screw it, it's about the vibes not the accuracy. 2) I had a pile of unfinished wips when I started this, to include Outside Chance and Spellbound (both of which are still unfinished hmmmmm) and I really didn't want a lot of questions about when I was going to get back to those while I was working on this because 3) I'd just gone through a small slice of writerly hell to the point that I seriously considered deleting my entire tumblr and all of my fanfic. Details are not important right now, the result is. That's probably the closest I've ever come to calling myself done with fandom.

Then this prompt posted to EFE and wouldn't leave me alone. Eventually, I decided that if I was going to write it, I wanted to write it with as little pressure as possible. So I chose to write and post it as ~M~ until it was finished. Plus, I thought it might make it fun for people other than me if there was a bit of mystery behind it. And I don't regret doing that.

Writing behind a mask allowed me to be as long winded and self-indulgent as I wanted to without worrying about how tight the storyline was or how accurate the historical details were, or wondering if I'd be walking into my tumblr and a barrage of the kind of messages I'd come to dread receiving. The only thing I worried about, really was if the amount and kind of smut I included gave me away prematurely lmao.

While this was my first real foray into the realm of historical fics, I am hoping it's not the last. I've got too many ideas and half started pieces to back out of it now. But those, like this one, will probably remain untethered to a specific real place, and a specific time, mainly because I just don't have that kind of time for research if I'm not getting paid to do it lol. They will be works of love if not works of accuracy.

Unmasked on AO3

#ten years of fanfiction mania #unmasked #unmasked nonsense #i meant to post this like three weeks ago #ooops

[brisquad-unit-4402]

luxiem as bad sex

don’t worry about it this is mostly for the lolz. might fuck around and do this for other livers next time i feel restless. make sure to properly communicate with your partner

tags: gender neutral reader, established relationship, smut, humor/crack, chatfic in shu’s entry, public sex, uki violeta cameo, cheating/ntr mention, just imagine the baldur’s gate 3 scene with the luxiem guy of your choice you know what i’m talking about

⚠️ nsfw under the cut. content not intended for minors.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

🖋 Ike Eveland: anatomy

there is a chance that, when you sleep with ike, despite his title, it’s his first time.

25% chance says that he fully does not know what he’s doing, and asks you for a full-blown tutorial on how to stick part a into part b.

25% chance says that he fully does not know what he’s doing but he doesn’t even admit to it. it’s a lot of trial and error and insistence that no, don’t worry, i got this when he very clearly does not.

25% chance that, for the first time in his life, eroge has come in clutch. he understands! kind of. it’s more like as he penetrates you he tries to compare your sounds to the moans of eroge characters. the more you sound like a hentai protagonist the better. it’s also worth noting he pumps into you to the beat of a huniepop song that worked its way into his head while he was trying to figure out what’s a good or bad sound.

and finally 25% chance that it’s just fine.

but let it be known that he 100% does not know how to find the clit. barely knows how to find the prostate either. ike won’t admit to either of these things

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

🦁 Luca Kaneshiro: openness

never let it be said luca is solitary. he’s social and likes to explore different spaces. it means dates happen often, and so does getting dragged off to give him head in public.

this would be fine if it was a bathroom stall. you know, the standard couple spots. what you didn’t expect was in a fairly open alley. or an amusement park ride with automatic souvenir pictures. or on the shady side of a beach full of people.

hell, even when you get into a changing room while shopping there’s still a risk. he’s gotten you to jack him off while wearing not-yet-purchased jeans more than once and as exciting as it was you have no clue what happened to the poor retail workers that had to find them hanging on the return-to-hanger rack.

at home he leaves doors open since it’s just the two of you, including when he goes down on you. he leaves them open when there’s guests, too, and guides you into your bedroom when he needs a break from talking to people. the doors are still open. you’re a master at being quiet but sometimes his puppy wanders around looking for his owner, and…

(side note: not about sex but i just know he would leave the door open or walk in on you using the bathroom and that terrifies me)

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

👟 Shu Yamino: attentiveness

Me: hey

Me: hey

Me: are you awake??

taro_twink: abt to sleep

taro_twink: what do you want shu

Me: idk c:

taro_twink: so you blew up my phone??? bitch??

Me: fjakajsjsldj i wanted to talk to my friend!

taro_twink: wish granted

taro_twink: wyd?

Me: reader

taro_twink: don’t text on a date

Me: we’re at home

taro_twink: go spend time with reader then ffs

Me: i am

Me: reader feels really nice c:

taro_twink: wait

Me: and i like making reader say my name too

taro_twink: SHSKDKLSJA

taro_twink: WHAT FHE FUXK

taro_twink: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TEXTINF ME RIFHT NOW

taro_twink: SHU YAMINO WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU

Me: dw reader hasn’t noticed my phone yet

taro_twink: THIS ISNT ABOUT READER ITS ABOUT ME

Me: my phone is by the pillow so it’s hard to see

taro_twink: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TEXTING WHILE SCREWING SOMEONE????????????

Me: yea :homiekiss:

taro_twink: you are fucked up and i’m going to bed

taro_twink: so done with you jfc

taro_twink: gn

taro_twink: bye

taro_twink: if you say anything else i’m blocking your number

Me: you’re no fun

taro_twink: you are literally texting me while you’re doing your partner i don’t want to hear it

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

👹 Vox Akuma: names

vox is noisy. delightfully so. it’s easy to communicate with him because he’s unconsciously vocal whenever he likes something.

these sounds, however, are usually limited to grunts, moans and cries. all well and good, but when things get more intense, he’s more inclined to scream your name.

and when his dick is in your mouth he can’t think straight, in the worst way.

this is just to say that even when you’re not roleplaying, he’s cried out a lot of names that aren’t yours. usually celebrities or fictional characters. you’ve lost count of how many tall/dark/handsome guys with long hair he’s cum to, or sassy women. hell, his celebrity crushes don’t even look like you.

if you have cheating fantasies this is excellent. if you have ntr fantasies, excellent as well. what isn’t excellent, however, is how last time you poured wax on him while fucking him from behind, he buried his face into the pillow and whimpered out your coworker’s name.

he was very lucky you didn’t have more wax to splash him with

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

✧. ┊ masterpost ✧. ┊ kofi

#ike eveland #ike eveland x reader #luca kaneshiro #luca kaneshiro x reader #shu yamino #shu yamino x reader #vox akuma #vox akuma x reader #luxiem x reader #luxiem #nijisanji x reader #nijisanji en #ike eveland smut #luca kaneshiro smut #shu yamino smut #vox akuma smut #4402 writes #hear me out i just KNOW he can’t find the c/it

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 06/09/2023

Sex - Steve Harvey

Season 4 Episode 1 No Album Release (Read More) Sex - Steve Harvey

Ripped by Nozobot

Yknow, I wonder sometimes about the impression people get of the SiIvaGunner channel from reading this blog. I've noticed that some posts have gained minor traction outside of SiIva's core audience on here, such as Four Ardain ~ Roaming the Route~, due to it just being a damn solid arrangement.

In a way, this blog is cherry picking the channel's greatest moments and personal favorites, that gives off a skewed impression of what the channel can truly offer. And though I've dabbled in some unserious rips in the past, today we're going all-in: Sex - Steve Harvey is perhaps the most deranged, most incomprehensible, and most hysterical thing the channel has yet to upload.

In the first four Seasons of the channel, channel creator Chaze the Chat would sometimes release Vlog-like videos wherin he'd declare his intentions and direction for the channel going forward. And though things certainly ended up different due to the sheer scope of the King for Another Day tournament, Chaze's vision for Season 4 Episode 1 was still clearly established at the beginning of 2019: bring back the surprise, chaos and insanity of Season 1 in full force. Seasons 2 and 3 had of course not shied away from unhinged content - a certain purple eggplant was effectively chaos incarnate - but it still felt as if it was being deprioritized over maintaining quality and gradually progressing the lore. With the sudden positive reception to Season 3's King for a Day tournament, it was as if a message had been sent to the SiIva team: The lore can wait, so long as the team is passionate about whatever they make instead.

As the premiere of King for Another Day drew closer, "Not Funny Didn't Laugh Day" was the climax to all of this build-up: A day that was, effectively, chaos incarnate.

Sex - Steve Harvey, in a way, shows just how far any of us are to understanding just what the hell the SiIva team are capable and willing to do. Its arguable that the randomness and surprise that defined Season 1 doesn't quite exist anymore, because we as the audience have "solved" the joke - we KNOW that random takeovers will occur, we know that melodyswaps will happen, we know rips can now occasionally have mashups. But rips made during Not Funny Didn't Laugh Day - and especially Sex - Steve Harvey - felt like taking the next step beyond what Season 1 was doing, and in turn is complete jibberish in YouTube video form. There are dozens of people in the comments still trying to discern what the video means - its original joke is of course parodying Steve Harveys overreactions to lewd answers on Family Feud, but it goes through so many bizarre, nonsensical phases, most of which have no actual connection to one another. Really, the only consistent throughline is the audio quality being consistently compressed into oblivion.

And, yknow, its very possible that I am overthinking this rip, and that it really is just a collection of nonsense. But I swear it should not be able to be as funny as it is if that were the case. Sex - Steve Harvey haunts me like an apparition, I keep coming back to it just to find new things in its concoction of chaos that I might've missed. And "Not Funny Didn't Laugh Day" was FULL of rips similar to this - the entire event is a golden throwback to absurdist comedy's recent history, with platforms like Vine and the edgier period of YouTube developing so many strange ways to gather laughs out of people.

I'm eternally grateful that SiIva will keep finding ways to surprise me, even with dumb bullshit like this.

#todays siivagunner #season 4 episode 1 #siivagunner #siiva #tentative rip name #Nozobot #ytp #ytpmv #vine #steve harvey #family feud #irony #uhhhh uhm #what the hell do i even tag this as seriously #im sorry for all diehard steve harvey fans who find this #Youtube

[paperlovesadness]

Me seeing all the comments under Glasto-themed posts blaming Alex for being sick and calling off Dublin

I'm barely able to fold that knife though.... And I'm not trusting myself that it'll stay folded.

#I really have no words for people who lack the basic minimum amounts of sympathy and understanding #and YES IT'S POSSIBLE HIS SYMPTOMS CLEARED UP IN JUST 4 DAYS #am I worried they didn't completely? yes. but they might have. and either way they're Definitely A LOT better after him resting #taking care of himself. possibly getting some meds prescribed. hydrating. not talking. sleeping #What did they want him to do. go out and mime the songs for them? #go up and barely utter some words through the hoarseness - make things worse and call of yhe next month if shows instead? #risk getting actual chronic laryngitis? risk his whole career? #the hell is wrong with people #you've got no idea how scared I was & am for my show that's coming up too. It's like extremely meaningful and important to me #the vision of going helped me through some tougher times #but you know what I'm also scared of? #of one of my favorite artist's getting seriously hurt. #of him beating himself up for disappointing people when there's nothing he can do about it. #can't believe people lack the basic empathy. #i get being disappointed. Sad. Furious even. #be furious with a god if you've got one or the universe or bacteria or the very idea of voice boxes being suspectable to strain #not with the man who's just as frustrated with the situation as you are #AHHHH #(i unfolded the knife safely in the tags. folding it back up) #(I see the typos & I hate em & I'm mad but I won't be doing anything about it. I'm sorry) #// #my posts

[spookilysweet]

what if. now hear me out. what if they

what if they were. you know.

🏳️‍🌈🤨

#dontkillme dont kill me #dont mind me im just. doing crackships again. help #;isdfhsudfioiroqwei #i say what if. as if i haven't already made silly little doodles of this #atsv #spiderverse #almost afraid to put this in main tags. but whadda hell. anyways #the spot #im joking of course but. #coughs and clears throat and dies even #feel free to. not take this seriously. at all. or do? #been calling this spiguel in my head. in my goofy mind. if you were interested #pj says some things

[paellegere]

why does lucifer want to be the ruler of heaven anyway. he comes back from the apocalypse world crying to cas about stopping michael and then promptly fucks off to ? ? ? ? randomly try to usurp heavenly power. i really need him to get clearer and more consistent motives. or rather, i need there to be a wider variety of villain motives that aren't wanting power for power's sake

#liveblogging: supernatural #13.18 #is what i'm tagging it but i haven't actually started the episode yet #but seriously every time a villain is like 'ohoho i'm going to become the KING of hell/heaven/earth/what the fuck ever' #it's so instantly boring to me. why do you even want a fancy title. why do you care. do you even have a reason or are you a cardboard cutou #i'm back to disliking (post-kripke) lucifer again. they are fumbling hard with the whole almost-human setup #they have 6 episodes to salvage it but this is supernatural. i'm not expecting anything #.txt

[corpsoir]

hi. ever wondered how skagen got his scar over his eye. well i wrote a little silly story about it have funnnn if theres misspellings or weird grammar no theres not dont look at it <3

its about 1.4k words long!

cw for drowning!

He has dreamt about drowning. Read about it in books, seen it in movies too. All of that had failed to mention just how badly it would hurt and how exhausting it is. Every single gasp for air feels like knives in his chest, but then again, it’s not much air he’s breathing in after all. His lungs are filled with the salt of the sea around him, the loud crashing of the waves against the rocks fills his ears, making him feel dizzy. His arms and legs feel like they're made of lead, fighting the waves becomes increasingly impossible the more he moves.

How did he even end up here? Skagen’s mind feels foggy and blurry, and instead of focusing on trying to keep his head above the waves, his mind wanders. It’s easier than trying to fight the sea anyways, and oh he’s so tired… Oh, how easy it would be to just... Let go and relax, letting the sea cradle him and rock him until his eyelids feel like heavy leather, impossible to keep open. One wave sweeps him farther away from the rocks, and the next sends him hurtling against them. Somewhere in the distance he can feel the barnacles tearing his skin open.

The salt in Skagen's eyes and lungs stings. The waves are whispering and roaring simultaneously, and he feels himself floating away to just this morning, lying safely in bed under his warm covers. The memory already feels a little bit blurry around the edges, like spilled water on an ink drawing. Was it really just this morning? It feels like it's been eons. Another gasp for air just fills his lungs with more water. He misses his blanket; this shit is cold and kind of sucks.

Skagen let’s himself get carried away by the sea, back to his warm bed under the covers, the morning sun casting golden stripes in his room, tickling his eyelashes. A hand brushes his hair from his cheek, and he can feel a tired smile forming on his face. The hand then grabs his shoulder and shakes him impatiently.

"Stooop, just five more minutes, come on..." he drawls.

Skagen is hit by a cold rush or air when the covers are lifted, and someone slinks in beside him. Oh, that's right. Solvei had stayed over for a sleepover, now he remembers... Or... Does he? The memory is getting really grainy, the ink on the paper losing its original shape becoming a pitch black, shapeless swirl in the water.

He's so warm and cosy here, his bed rocking him back to sleep. Just five more minutes. Arms still heavy as lead, wrapping them around Solvei proves to be a challenge. Is she slipping away from him already?

"What the hell Sol, come back, where are you going...?" he mumbles, or at least he tries to. All he can muster is a wet gurgle, and it burns. Oh, it burns and his entire face hurts. The covers suddenly feel sharp, like they’re digging into his skin, the pillow a sharp point straight through his eye.

"Skagen," he can hear Solvei saying somewhere far away, above him. "Open your eyes, you idiot."

He does.

He's greeted with the worst pain he's ever felt in his life. His face feels like it's being split in half, torn apart, and a rush of adrenaline surges through his body. Skagen tries to whip his head around to find the surface, but the pain is literally pulling on his face, and the water around him is red, thick with blood.

Wait, are there sharks on the west coast? The thought suddenly hits him out of nowhere, until he realises it’s a fucking stupid thought and he’s currently drowning. There are no blood-thirsty sharks in Sweden. There is water in his lungs though.

He can barely see anything. His hair, the seaweed, the blood, the sunshine breaking through the surface above, all rendering him completely unable to see.

Something yanks on him then, the pain in his face shooting through his entire body, and suddenly he breaks through the surface, yet again feeling his skin being torn apart by the barnacles on the rocks. He wants to scream, but instead of noise its water rushing out of his lungs.

While in the water, his arms and legs felt heavy and difficult to move, but now it's virtually impossible. He tries to sit up, tries to move his arms and get away from the waves lapping at his feet and legs, but no matter what he does he can’t force his muscles to move even an inch.

He can hear someone shouting, a man’s voice. Stop yelling, Skagen thinks. I’m trying to sleep here, can you shut up?

The last rush of adrenaline he felt has left him, and he's left a cold, bruised and bloody mess on the rocks.

---

Next thing he knows, he's in a hospital bed. Warm blankets remind him of this morning again. Oh, this feels nice actually, it's just what he needed! Warm, cosy, it feels like he's floating. He can hear his parents outside, but their conversation is muffled and sounds... Weird. It's as if someone pitched everything down and made every noise sound offbeat and out of tune. There's a pressure on his face and opening his eyes he realises his right eye has been covered with something. He tries to raise his hand to poke at whatever is covering his face.

Someone is holding his hand in place.

"If you would've died there, I would've killed you, Skagen."

Ah, it's Solvei.

Grinning, he turns to look at her. "What're you talking about... I’d be double dead…” he grumbles. God, his vocal cords feel like they’re made of sandpaper. Sound like it, too.

Solvei slaps the hand she's holding and doesn't return his smile. The slight upward twitch in the corners of her lips doesn't go unnoticed by Skagen though.

"You-... Shut up, you were drowning! Stop joking, you scared the shit out of me! They had to bring you here with a fucking helicopter! What if it had crashed!" She is genuinely upset with him, that much is clear. Skagen feels a sting of guilt. He shuffles onto his elbows and slowly sits up, even this little movement renders him out of breath. Ugh, breathing hurts.

"Are you saying I got to fly in a helicopter, and I don't even remember it?" he says, voice strained.

Another slap on his hand sends him into a hoarse laughing fit, and this time Solvei can't keep herself from smiling.

"Careful, before I go tell the nurse to bring me water to finish what the sea started, you idiot."

Skagen scrunches his nose, pokes his tongue out at her and lies down again. God, his body is tired, aching. Bones, muscles, lungs and everything. Especially his face.

About that.

Skagen raises his free hand to poke at the bandages. What the hell happened to him?

“I don’t think you should touch that; the doctor said it looked uh… Pretty bad. I didn’t get to see it though, he might be lying. I dunno.” Solvei lets go of his hand and runs her fingers through his bangs. Sectioning the hair off in even chunks, giving him a clumsy, five stranded braid.

Skagen pokes at his face anyways.

“I can’t really feel anything though, it’s probably not that bad. I think I just got hit with the boom when the boat gybed…” Skagen closes his eye and yawns.

Solvei snorts. Continues her messy braiding. “Uh, yeah no wonder you don’t feel anything, they’ve probably given you like, every painkiller ever. On the planet. And also,” she yanks the half-done braid playfully, “did you forget what I told you already? You nearly drowned. Some guy found you and helped you, said he was out fishing. Caught you on his hook.”

It takes a few seconds of Skagen processing what he’s hearing – no doubt the painkillers making his mind a little foggy – before he starts giggling uncontrollably.

“Would you still like me if I was a trout?” he wheezes.

The laughter erupting from Solvei is only making Skagen cackle more.

“No, you weirdo, I would turn you into fish fingers immediately!” Using the now finished braid she whips him over the nose with it. Gently, of course.

“I bet I would taste delicious.”

“I bet you would taste disgusting. Hey, your hair is still full of salt.”

#writing is fun even if im not very good or confident with it ahgjdkgsgds #WELL ANYWAYYYYY............ ive written and posted two things now what the hell. ok. #scary. cant i just make art instead #what am i saying im literally deciding for myself and i felt like doing this #hope you enjoy its a bit more fun and silly than the other story i wrote lol #extremely scribbly sketch for this one i have uni stuff i keep procrastinating sooo i gotta do that now ok goobuhbuh #skagen gipp #solvei stiltje #jjba oc #corps.art #again its so funny and difficult to take this guy seriously when his name is fucking skagen..... #i almost named him archipelago btw. have i told you that. secret skagen lore in the tags #also also also skagen calls solvei sol isnt that cute :) solvei calls him skagis sometimes but in a playfully mocking way lol #besties with nicknames for eachother #cant remember if i tagged my writing with anything but uuhhh -> #corps.txt #theres a new tag for you i guess

[somekindafairy]

ok so I've officially watched the new avatar and i was going to make a joke about it being maybe the straightest movie i’ve ever seen, like i actually took psychic damage, but apparently i can make literally anything gay so...i do now have a full blown headcanon of the older brother/son being gay. here in defense of this position are three points (major spoiler warning ahead if u care):

the only main teenager without a love interest

that one cute moment where him and another boy share a laugh at the embarrassing straight flirting happening in front of them.

(and this one is very important, really seals the deal) he fucking d-

#akjdksks #also maybe something about being the perfect son to make up for perceived internal faults #from a narrative perspective he is just dying (sorry) for some character depth #but seriously the movie was so straight he literally couldn't survive it #straight to super hell do not pass go #anyway my mom was very excited about the movie #we watched it in imax 3d. it was very visually impressive #had some good moments #we literally ripped it to shreds the entire way home #like that was some wild completely unexamined gender nonsense #not even getting into the racial stuff like ill leave that to the experts #avatar spoilers #does anyone care? idk #avatar: the way of water #avatar 2 #what are people tagging this as i have no idea #avatar: the way of the water spoilers #also kiri is autistic i just know and understand this #as an autistic person

[jjohhuii]

hi hooo i made a vgen hehe

#I SERIOUSLY THOUGHT ID HAVE TO WAIT FOREVER LOL..... #shoutout to oomf. if no omes got me he does #commissions #commission #vgen #vgencomm #what the hell do i even tag this as #self promo #??? #help #I JUST NEED WORK #mars draws

[thesewers]

people treat Jamie from yellowstone as if he wasn't Horribly neglected from birth, adopted to strangers, then emotionally manipulated, neglected, and abused some more. Shocker! The dog you raised in fear and loyalty only knows Fear and Loyalty.

#seriously fuck this show though #disgusting handleing of extremely sensitive topics #the amount of times women are senselessly abused sucks. I swear they dont even utter the word Rape until season three #oh but John happily used the word to.. describe what tourist are doing to his land. #awesome #anyways Yellowstone should ACTUALLY be about the land and be made by natives or really! anyone else. #none of you care about yellowstone and if you do I don't pft #i think it would be cool if they went supernatural horror with it. I wanna see the land fight back baby! #never get over the scene of Jamie taking Beth to a clinic on a reservation for an abortion because he was worried about their reputation #and the attendant tells him patients are FUCKING STERILIZED HERE. #like one. you really think their sterilizing the pretty little white girl walking in? #and two. WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS THAT BRUSHED OVER. #NONE of the natives problems are EVER acknowledged beyond 'ah thats awful. anyways doesnt effect us right haha?' #like FUCK. my blood was boiling. #n its such a- like- THE POINT WAS MISSED SO BAD? like yeah sucks for Beth but she's not the main victim here #They had the money and resources to go Anywher else hell go out of State. The people living on that reservation Don't. #but there not even awknowledged for a Second. #infuriating. #sorry for how rough that is I dont know if i should content warning tags #hell i'll probably delete this later. still if this needs to be tagged (feel bad for this being at end of All That) lemme know 👍

[void-tiger]

I liked the actual tag button on the toolbar. Put it back. (And what the heck is the aquarius-looking-thing.)

#tiger’s roar #tumblr mobile #tumblr #app update #seriously. the [Add Tags!!] message box doesn’t show consistantly #especially if I just want to Reblog. not add text #and like. I pressed buttons into a blank post asyoudo and the |w| looking thing didn’t…seem to do anything. #nothing in the text box. no automated message about what that darn feature even is #the hell y’all even dO. #put it back #shame on me for actually updating

[kidflashimpulse]

me coming up with some obscure plot for my fic with Dick and Bart to force them in situations that lead to certain dialogues otherwise known as if official Comics can do it why can’t I

#not to rant again in tags even tho that’s all i do #but again #a reason why i’ll never take comic fans rants against fanfic seriously #because anyone who’s read a comic knows that a lot of comic writers don’t even know what’s going on themselves half the time #sorry if i’m being unnecessarily spiteful lol but the comic community can be so unnecessarily edgy sometimes and for what #but yeah i really hope to write this up as a one shot sometime #let’s see #bart allen #impulse #kid flash #young justice #yj #dc #dick grayson #nightwing #robin #and yes this is because of certain parallels between the two #i’m sorry but i’m a sucker for parallels #like if they’re there i sure as hell WILL be connecting the dots lol