#what the heck am i actually supposed to do with my life now since i'm living off residuals from my groups' albums now

[oreramar]

Florist Talk for Fiction

I'm pretty sure the whole Flower Shop AU thing's day has long since passed but heck it, I've been doing the actual Flower Shop thing in real life for a few years now and I've got a handful of thoughts to throw out into the void, just in case anyone out there is still into or writing for that particular trope or theme or what have you.

First, a minor disclaimer: my experience is at one particular mom & pop shop in a small town in the US. Some details may differ for larger florists in bigger cities or other countries, but if your writing is set in some vaguely defined little town in vaguely defined culturally-American-location, then there could be overlap enough for you. Research and tweak as needed otherwise.

Second, I'm probably going to break stuff up by topic or something and post it gradually, tagging it all as Florist Talk, because initially I started writing a rambling mass of bullet points then realized it was way too much, and there were way too many dumb little details to include on some of those points. So call it a series I suppose. Feel free to send Asks if you have a curiosity about anything in particular. I may or may not have knowledge for you.

Third, a few general points for writing your Florist Blorbo with convincing verisimilitude:

Day to Day and Week to Week, weekdays are busier than weekends, usually. I've seen small town florist schedules where Sundays are Closed and Saturdays are only open for a few hours, like nine to noon or something. I am jealous of these, for the shop I work for is also a gift shop and one of the husband-wife duo of owners believes very much that Closing Early = Losing Potential Sales, and so I must often languish in agonizing boredom for four to five hours on a Saturday afternoon in order to be present for the one (1) person who maybe possibly walks in at 4:40 pm to look around or something.

Summers are the Slowest Season, the Saturday Afternoons of the Florist Year.

A flower shop lives or dies on the strength of its Valentine's Day and Mother's Day sales, basically. Oh, there's other holiday things, and day to day stuff, but nothing that can be counted on like those Big Ones.

Speaking of day to day, morbid though it may be, Funeral flowers tend to be the biggest contributors to flower shop sustainability outside of the holidays.

No seriously your FloraBlorb will know the Funeral Directors in town by name. Use these positions to convincingly place and namedrop minor characters. It's so easy.

Your FloraBlorb may have a Dedicated Delivery Driver (a secondary character perhaps?) OR they may have to do deliveries themselves. If they don't have a second person to run the shop while they do this then they'll have to close the shop and take calls on a cell phone as they come. Use this as needed for character or plot stuff I suppose.

Florist Flowers are Expensive compared to grocery store flowers, but this doesn't mean that the Florists themselves are making that much money. Flowers tend to be very perishable and there's a lot of overhead in transporting and storing them and stuff. Wallyworld might be making a technical loss, maybe just breaking even with their racks of cheap bouquets in the produce section, but they aren't hurt by that because they make so much more money selling everything else as well. A Flower Shop doesn't have that going for them, so they gotta charge more.

Maybe this is why I so often see Flower Shops paired with something else out there. Flower and Gift Shops. Flower Shops that sell Homemade Fudge on the side. Flower Shops and Boutiques. Flower Shops and Bakeries. Basically, feel free to write this AU and wedge the obvious interests of two Blorbos together into one store. As long as you can find a way to convince us all that their Flower Shop / Cabinetry business can thrive in the same space then why the heck not.

#florist talk #flower shops #fic advice I guess #or whatever you want to do #tag blorbos all you want #this is for your imagination to play in

[skitariiposting]

Okay, I've just finished watching episode 1 of Marvel's hit TV show Secret Invasion, and I've gotta say: eh. Especially coming off of binge watching all of adventure time and experiencing it all over again, then immediately watching AI Builds again and suffering another mental overload despite it being one of my favorite pieces of media ever. Heck, even if I have to compare it to another Marvel thing; Loki season 2 was way better. I really should have watched something bad before watching this, I'm coming down off of the "Rewatching AI Builds and fucking crying myself to sleep, again" high, but here we are.

This show feels especially "the writer strike, struck." Given that I haven't heard anybody really talk about this show at all, good or bad, I will be undertaking the task of relaying things I enjoy and/or find annoying.

Spoilers, obviously.

1. Look, say what you will about AI stuff, trust me when I say I'm pissed with it possibly taking my job eventually too, but for once it felt like it was used for a stylistic choice as opposed to just trying to rob people of a job.

The intro is obviously made with AI. However, I feel like they're trying to use it to make it feel alien and foreign, something inhuman or unearthly, and it works. It's visually interesting. However, I just wish we could get something like that without having to rely on this shitty AI stuff to do it. Imagine how cool it'd be if it wasn't for the immoral and outright theft involved with sourcing for AI.

2. The main plot is wacky, goofy, and utterly silly sauce. "Oh damn this giant catastrophe that effected literally half of all life all at the same time and made a bunch of people disappear made Nick disappear, that means he's totally not going to honor his deal with us because he's disappeared, time to terrorists!" I hope that the plot gets more fleshed out or something, but off to a bad start in episode 1.

3. Nick feels both simultaneously great and awful at the same time. He's still cocky and charismatic, which is something I love about his character. However, he feels like he's dumb. He's not the same Nick Fury from Avengers and Winter Soldier, and I don't like that. Sam Jackson's putting in a lot of the footwork here to keep the character from falling completely flat; line delivery is on point as always with Sam, but it feels like the writers are just dishing out some crappy plot stuff he's having to work with.

4. They set off three dirty bombs in a square full of people, with all three protagonists within range of it, and yet its a gunshot that almost kills one of them, not the bombs nor the "dirty" part of it, which I feel like they kinda forgot about. These are supposed to be radioactive for a reason: skrull are immune to radiation according to 30 minutes ago in the episode. As I've not seen any spoilers or anything plot related to this show (since nobody has really had anything to say about it at all, good or bad) I am forced to make the super easy prediction that there will be a big reveal where Nick is actually a Skrull.

I will continue with the show now and bring updates as I go.

#skitposting #marvel

[snugglesquiggle]

I love your writing and the way you give depht to the characters! Hostile Takeover is one of my top favourite fics! I also read the draft of An Opaque Heart and it was so good!

There is something else you could share about the Corrupt Combustion? Or that story about Cyn and Uzi? I am oh so curious about them after the emotional devastation of An Opaque Heart!

fun fact: Corrupt Combustion is worse. or at least it might be; after writing AOH, i started wondering whether i really should write something even more bleak

but yeah, Corrupt Combustion is the story about Cyn and Uzi. or was, rather. it begin mutating when i made the connection that Cyn being stuck inside of Uzi, occasionally possessing her, kind of resembled a common trope of demons sealed in the protagonist you see in a bunch of anime. i kept thinking along these lines, and whoops, this AU is whole ass Jujutsu Kaisen fusion now.

(i recently read back over my original outline for Circuits Turn to Stone, the original Uzi & Cyn fic, and i don't think it works as well with how much everything else has changed. i'm not sure if i'll scrap it entirely, or rewrite it into a different story where Cyn's influence drags Uzi into darkness, more of a horror/thriller with less fantastical action and complex mechanics. there's a certain appeal to that, but i worry the stories are too similar, even as i rethink how CC should ultimately play out)

but enough waffling. what is Corrupt Combustion? you don't actually need to know anything about JJK to understand it, i think.

Sometimes, dead drones explode. The technical term is absolute combustion. Oil burns, light flares, heat spills out – but there’s more. It’s all wrong. Not tongues of flame, but holographic lines of aberrant code. The hands splay and the screen flashes, radiating an alien shape with three prongs. And the dead come burning back to life. The humans tried to study it, control it, refine it. The humans are dead. The gates of Cabin Fever are open, and the dead roam the frozen wastes. Nori caries the whole world on her shoulders. Yeva, Alice and Beau, even Uzi — others drones are nothing but insects in her shadow. But who is the sun?

the notes for this have been semi-public for months now, but i've been dragging my feet in pointing people at it since i'm still unsure what i'm gonna do with it.

it's also a little bit disorganized. a general overview of the mechanics is in this post:

this "prologue" is the newest thing i've written, it's supposed to serve as a introduction to the plot

Deadlocked & Thrashing is technically the first thing i've written, and it was supposed to be a sort of prequel fic that sets up the events of the main plot, but it's gotten so complicated that i think Beau might've become the real protagonist?

finally, the last post chronologically speaking is the backstory for Doll's dad, and i think it's probably the write up i'm proudest of.

one thing you may be thinking if you read all of that... where the heck is Uzi?

and i do have plans for her, big plans, but i'm keeping those cards close to my chest for now >:3

#🐍 #my writing #my answers #corrupt combustion #murder drones #murder drones au #murder drones nori #murder drones beau

[koiponderingart]

Hi!!! You already know this but I need to say it: You are so talented! Your Bucky/Winter Soldier series is out of this world, and I wholeheartedly admit I stare at your art for too long whenever I come across it on my dash, especially your 'Daybreak' piece... A thing of beauty.

Thank you for your comment (I've read it like 100 times). I gotta say, I'll definitely stick to it because it's therapeutic, although I struggle with so many things related to it, especially style. I'm a total amateur so I really don't know what the heck I'm doing. I just have this need to paint or draw sometimes to take my mind off things and I do it.

I've had my eye on watercolors since highschool (I'm 35 now), but I never dared to try it out until four years ago, but I’m not as constant as I would like to be (because life), and I'm still trying to find my footing. I guess I know what I would like the pieces to look like (the general idea) but I lack the skills to "get there.”

I suppose there's also a lack of terminology involved, like, when I search tutorials or something I rarely find what I'm looking for so I improvise by looking at similar pieces, or art that kinda look like what I want. I'm also aware that the quality of the materials that I use (mostly the pigments and paper) play a role here, as well as my lack of technique, but I plan to keep on learning so the last part is totally on me.

I just don't know what I would do without watercolors! I love the sophisticated chaos that they can bring to a piece of blank paper :) And thank you again for your comment. You made my day. I'll print it and hang it on my wall <3 (and sorry for babbling so much) (I’ve reblog your art on my secondary blog before so I really don’t know why I wasn’t following you 😳) (Ok, I’m following you now lol)

You are so incredibly sweet! I don't know what you might or not know about my own painting journey but let me assure you, your off to a great start!

I actually picked up watercolors after a long break from any art at 39 (I am 45 now) so never be discouraged it's "too late". Also, and I mean this with every fiber, please feel free to ask me any questions you have about watercolor.

I have learned quite a bit and keep learning along the way! I am happy to share tips, tricks, my favorite tutorials, classes.

You have a great eye, I can see that already, and honestly picking a dynamic pose that draws in someone goes a really long way. Don't sell yourself short, and never apologize for being passionate about your art. It's wonderful to see someone write they love painting.

Watercolor is universally known as the easiest painting style to begin, but the hardest to master. And to a degree you have to just let it do what it will! (Infuriating at times).

Again feel free to reach out any time with questions, and thank you for your kind words about my work. I'm happy to even share tips on painting tactical black and metal. (Shockingly fun).

Take care!

#watercolor

[shychick-52]

Weird writers asks- 1, 7, 10, 13 and 19!!!

OOOH, THANKS. :D

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

Times New Roman, size 12. So, standard. I'm used to it, having written in that all my life, plus it's by far the easiest on my eyes. I know there's a trick with some other font that's supposed to increase writing speed or the amount you write, or something, but I always forget to try it!!! DX

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

Breathing life into the characters and scenarios in my head. It's such a fun, almost surreal feeling. Writers are demi-gods, at the very least. We create life. :D It's like that one lyric in the 'Barbie Girl' song- "Imagination, life is your creation!"

I also love sharing my ideas about my favorite characters, including my headcanons, with others. Even though not many people read my stuff, I still love putting them out there. XD

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

I've been haunted by so many wonderful writers' stories, including yours! In other words, a really incredibly-written, powerful story (often heavy on the drama, angst, and hurt/comfort) that stays with me for a long, long time that I can't stop thinking out. One that destroys me in the best way.

As for my own writing, it doesn't necessarily have to be angsty or dramatic, although those are my favorite kind to write about. It's often an idea that I can't stop thinking about, that I HAVE to write or I'll go crazy. Like 'Who Am I?' and 'Circumstances and Control'. And I can't stop thinking about where to take the story next, what to do with the characters (usually it's the multi-chapter stories that haunt me the most), and I lie awake at night planning out details, scenes, and dialogue. And even once each new chapter is posted, or the story is finished, I often re-read them to see if they're as good as I originally envisioned or if I still feel the same pride about them I felt in the first place (and I'm pleased to say they usually do hold up).

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

Anything sexual (especially pure smut). I'm ace/sex-repulsed as hell. I don't have much experience writing or reading about sexual content, let alone... ah, personal experience (because I'm not comfortable with any of it), so I also wouldn't even feel confident trying to write it. (However, I did write a one-shot fenro story called 'A Definitely Real Man', which was SCARY AS HECK because I've never done anything like that before. But to my surprise, it turned out really well.)

Subject matter easy for me to write is anything angsty. Especially where loved ones' lives are at stake or are dead (with lots of grieving, suffering, and even self-blame). I also love writing about abusive (or dead) parents.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

I wrote my first fanfic in high-school for the anime series 'Cardcaptor Sakura', which was a really short one-shot. (A friend of mine had introduced me to fanfiction, and after reading a bunch of it, I decided to give it a try too.) As the years went one, I wrote more and more fanfiction for different interests of mine and soon it turned into a life-long hobby to this day.

As far as original writing goes, during my university days I wrote the first two books in a planned-out children's book series I've always wanted to write and publish. Unfortunately, it went through a lot of hiatus and writer's block because I couldn't get the story and characters to work properly. So, I abandoned it until years later when I picked it up again with a whole new idea to make it work; I ended up scrapping most of the original storyline and characters, leaving only the bare bones intact. Since then, it's worked out much better! I'm currently writing the third book in the series and editing the first two, but I don't really know how many books I want the series to be. Maybe two or three more? (I'll probably never get it published, but who knows? At the very least, it's another fun hobby.)

#thanks for the ask!! #weird writers ask

[etes-secrecy-post]

Hi, before I explain my post, I want to say something important.

• What you see my blog has become a major overhaul. And despite the changes, I decided that my 2nd account will be now my artwork blog with a secret twist.

⚠️NEW RULE! (W/ BIGGER TEXT!)⚠️

⚠️ SO PLEASE DO NOT SHARE MY 2nd ACCOUNT TO EVERYONE! THIS SECRECY BLOG OF MINE IS FOR CLOSES FRIENDS ONLY!⚠️

• AND FOR MY CLOSES FRIENDS, DON’T REBLOG IT. INSTEAD, JUST COPY MY LINK AND PASTE IT ON YOUR TUMBLR POST! JUST BE SURE THE IMAGE WILL BE REMOVED AND THE ONLY LEFT WAS THE TEXT.

⚠️ SHARING LINKS, LIKE POSTS, REBLOG POSTS, STEALING MY SNAPSHOT PHOTOS/RECORDED VIDEOS/ARTWORKS (a.k.a. ART THIEVES) OR PLAGIARIZING FROM UNKNOWN TUMBLR STRANGERS WILL IMMEDIATELY BE BLOCKED, RIGHT AWAY!⚠️

😡 WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT EVER LIKED & REBLOG MY SECRET POST! THIS IS FOR MY SECRET FRIENDS ONLY, NOT YOU! 😡

Okay? Capiche? Make sense? Good, now back to the post…↓

Title: Speedsters in Racesuits (with GT Movie fan license card [per character])

Hello, August. And speaking of GT Movie 🟦🟥, they released a custom personalized license card (or Driver License) for the upcoming movie (on Aug 30th in my home country 🇵🇭). 🚘🏁🚘🎫🎦 And since the trio (including Bonn) LOVES the "Gran Turismo" game franchise (as much as the next OC person), I decided to draw them in their race suits to make them like a pro-racer on the race course. 🚘🏁🪪 Yes, the Speedster Trio still have their owned "Junior Driver License" as a legitimate valid ID, but that from the GT Movie is only a souvenir. Also, I added "Racer" as their apprentice course. 😉

BTW #1: You can go check it out & create yourself → [CLICK ME!] 📝🪪

Spot 🐶🏎️: Damn, dude! Do we look legit racers or what? 🚘🏁🪪😃

Miya 🐰🐻🔋: Heck yeah-yuh! We're LITERALLY legit racers, twin bro! 🚘🏁🪪😁

Riya 🐰🏎️: Yeah, but get too excited, twins. As much as we loved playing GT Games, I'm not sure saying could be said for the movie itself. 🤔

Spot 🐶🏎️: Aww C'mon, Ri. Hope the movie itself was great as the Mario Movie we attended, back in April. 🙂

Miya 🐰🐻🔋: Right on, Spot. How about it, Ri!? Your parents are already pre-order tickets! 😄

Riya 🐰🏎️: I suppose, So I'll take chances. 🤷🙂

Rita 🐶🚺: Tandaan, anaks (Remember, kids). We're going early at 8 AM before the cinema mall opens at 10! 😉☝️⌚

The Speedster Trio [🐶🏎️| 🐰🏎️| 🐰🐻🔋]: We got it, mom! 😃

Bonn 🐰🚹: Yeah, we can't missed out that movie! 😊

Rita 🐶🚺: Do you think that movie was actual based on real-life story? 🤔

Bonn 🐰🚹: Mmmm... I'm not sure, but like Riya said, we'll take chances.🙂

• Now, you wondering who's the fourth one? 🤔Ah, that's right! My upcoming new OC! 😅 The set will be revealed on "September 1st"! Yup, you heard me! SEPTEMBER 1ST! 😉 Will this person came from the Speedster's Family Tree, or just a fan of the Speedsters Family? We may never know, so you have to find out, in the next few days.🙂

BTW #2: I revamped Bonn & Rita's existing race suits from my previous artworks. 😊

Well, that's all for now. And good luck watching GT Movie! NO SPOILERS, PLS! 🤫(either Aug 25th (U.S.) or 30th)

The Speedsters Family - created by ME! Gran Turismo Movie © SCEI, Polyphony Digital, Columbia Pictures

[rockinlibrarian]

9 people tag game

Tagged by @e-louise-bates, who tagged only me (and no, I don't believe I've done this one, recently at least), so I'm assuming the "9 People" in the title isn't NECESSARILY how many people I have to tag.

last song: All I've been hearing for the past two hours is the background music to Splatoon, which my son is playing on the big tv in this room. Last song I actually listened to? I think it was Led Zeppelin. Yeah, when I turned my car off I left auxiliary on for a bit, as one does, and it was some Zeppelin-- "Whole Lotta Love," that was it.

last movie: Honestly, I am not sure when I last watched a movie? Possibly not since Arsenic and Old Lace at New Years. I just don't get around to it! Also, Splatoon is always running on the big tv.

currently watching: Okay, I almost thought of this as a movie, but I have been watching a TV show the past week or so! Muppets Mayhem, which is only 10 half-hour episodes long but I've still only watched 7, that's how much I'm not watching ANYTHING lately. Okay, I am unable to tell if it is objectively good to the average person-- I think it's mixed, some very good stuff, some eh-- because it is basically a made-for-me show (it got shuttled to the top of my watch list when a friend-- an online friend I've never met in real life even-- specifically tagged me on Facebook after she watched it because she thought of me the whole time). I have said, for the record, that The Electric Mayhem is my favorite fictional band. They genuinely do rock. And the music (and the music nerd references) is the highlight of the show. And the Get Back-themed episode was indeed an absolute delight.

currently reading: Kids and I are towards the middle of the end of The Sun and the Star, Mark Oshiro's Riordanverse book about Nico and Will in the Underworld, which isn't quite as delightful as Riordan's originals in voice, but still has some good stuff in it. I've also brought home Nowhere Boy by Katherine Marsh, which I am considering sampling for the older group at Summer Quest this week. Hence bringing it home to actually read those chapters before reading it to them. I also left off in the middle of a multichapter fanfic last night, something Umbrella Academy of course because I'm still only in the S's in my alphabetical by author browse-through. It's "the desperation murmur of a heartbeat" by slytherincosette-- good enough for me to keep reading beyond the first chapter (or even the first paragraph) at least. Haven't finished it yet.

last thing researched for writing purposes: Huh. Well, that depends on your definition of all those words, I suppose. I think, using the broadest definitions, the last thing I researched for my writing was synonyms for "flawless"-- I was looking for the word "foolproof" but couldn't think of it, so I put "flawless" in Thesaurus.com and browsed until I spotted it. Yay, thesaurus! And for this particular fic I also have looked up the transcripts to The Wizard of Oz (which is the AU) and various episodes of Legion (which it is a fanfic of), if THAT counts as research. I am looking at my google search history now but I don't think any of this was used for writing. A few minutes ago I looked up how many inches are 143 centimeters which I THINK was for some ART that @sunnymarbles was drawing, but that's drawing, not writing, and also not mine. I have researched various snack recipes from around the world so as to write up some handouts for Summer Quest, which was technically writing, and mine. Honestly the only research session for fictional-not-educational writing purposes that really stands out in my memory was the day (2 1/2 years ago) I spent researching electric guitars just so I could say what Marty McFly's dream guitar would have been in 1980, for one sentence in a less-than-900-word fanfic. But I learned a lot of interesting things about electric guitars, so there.

Who the heck should I tag. I usually tag Louise, but she got me first. @stephsageek, @alihahdnaid, @sharkneto, @rebel-by-default, @littlerit, @steeple-sinderby --those are the first I-know-are-writers in my notifications (not counting Louise) before the scrolldown makes me click "see more." There's also @dannypageoflight who draws more than he writes but who knows, maybe he's done some research for writing purposes lately. That's seven. And two more people! Have fun, two more people! @sunnymarbles! You were already technically tagged in this, and I already told everyone what you're reading and also probably what you're listening to right now because you are also in the room with Splatoon (can't tell if you have earbuds in) and also that I looked up the last thing you wanted to research half an hour ago or whenever it was! And you don't write! But you can also do this if you really wanted to!

#tag game #books #writing #television

[danpuff-ao3]

what’s a ship you like that most people don’t?😍

what’s a ship you hate that most people don’t?

Hiya Cindle! Thanks for the asks! 😍 This should be fun!

what’s a ship you like that most people don’t?

Ooooh. Very interesting! I feel like Snarry gets a lot of hate from people who don't actually ship it, but since plenty of people do ship it...that's probably not the right answer. 😂

I suppose I'm thinking of this question as "ships I like that others disdain" but really it could just be me, the lone shipper. 😂 So what rare pairs do I really like? 🤔 And which of those are the strangest, and raise the most brows?

So...I really like Draco/Viktor. (The Lemniscate, or the Nature of Infinity.) Which I don't see near enough of. But that's fairly tame compared to the other names I'm about to drop 🤣 Because I also really need more Draco/Voldemort in my life. (Seasons Change, and So Do We!!!!)

And, because incest is reviled for whatever reason 🤨(🤣) I reaaaaally dig Malfoycest. Specifically Draco/Lucius (Passage to Eden), though I'm extra into Scorpius/Draco/Lucius (Holding On.)

*** Oh! Oh oh oh! I almost forgot. The one het ship I actually am hecka into. That there isn't enough of. And has never earned me anything but raised eyebrows: Luna/Hagrid. Listen. Age gap + size kink. And also a shared love of animals. It's adorable and sexy at the same time. But I can also appreciate Luna/Ollivander. Age gap + shared trauma/forced captivity, hellooooo.

(Of all the people to het ship and I pick Luna???? What the actual heck tho.)

what’s a ship you hate that most people don’t?

Ahh, hate is such a strong word! Off the top of my head...canon het ships 🤣 But I know plenty of people who dislike those.

The best answer I can give is this: I have a weird attachment to my OTP and I struggle to see Harry or Snape paired with others! Though this has become easier with time and chats with all my multi-shipper friends. But the one ship I have the hardest time with, that is hugely popular, is Drarry.

Now, I don't hate Drarry. I just don't see it. Like, on paper it looks good. Enemies to lovers?? I'm always into that! And c'mon they look hecka cute together. (And for mrpeg enjoyers: think of the green-eyed blond babies!!!!) But...I just get 0 chemistry from them. And don't really see a feasible working relationship.

Even for Harry and Snape paired with others, there are ships I can admit to being intrigued by. Draco/Snape? Hot. Neville/Snape? Also hot. Harry/Sirius? Super hot. Harry/Tom | Voldemort???? Yes that's awesome. I wish I could ship Tomarrymort because that seems super hot and complicated and weird and fascinating, with so much to play with and explore!!!!

But Drarry? I don't know. I wish it made more sense to me. As friends? 100%, sign me up. As romantic partners? Idk. Clearly there's something there, considering how well loved it is! It just doesn't compute in my brain!

But again: no hate. Just "meh." (But RIP me because Drarry creators are stellar.)

ship asks

#asked & answered #ship asks #cw incest #cw mpreg #please don't judge me #SHIP AND LET SHIP OKAY

[wtchwtch]

TT013_Transcript

TT013: The Last Few Days

This is a fanmade transcript, please let me know if you see any errors.

TT013

(Intro Music)

(Tape recorder sounds)

Mark: Hi everyone! Uh, Mark here. Uh... well the last few days have not been good, to say the least.

Um, uh, D, Cole, and I have spent almost every waking hour just waiting and hoping. I wouldn't say praying, but you could also, you know, you see what would, it's something like that. Well, anyway, I was doing that at the least. Um, I can't say for certain when it comes to the other two, cuz I mean, none of us have really seen each other since, uh, well since Jesse was abducted.

Um, honestly, it's a little complicated right now. We, uh, well I'm not sure if we're gonna continue with the podcast, and as you'd imagine, things have gotten a little, uh, heavier than any of us anticipated.

Um, I tried to call D a few times, but I mean, they're obviously busy, so no answer. Uh, and Cole, well, um... yeah, no answer as well.

It's been hard. You know, but in a hard time you have to be there for your friends. And I guess sometimes that means not being there as well, if that makes any sense. And I don't really know what else to say about that. I don't really think... I don't really think anyone's to blame here.

Well, I mean, Cole probably could have gone about it a little better, but I mean, how the hell was anyone supposed to see this coming? I mean, Cole didn't ask to have some lunatic stalk him.

I wanna say it isn't his fault and he did nothing wrong. He hasn't exactly been honest with us since we started, and I don't really know why. I mean, at least the little weasel keeps life interesting.

How is someone supposed to feel in this scenario? Like, I actually don't know how to act right now, or what to say.

Cole did what the tape asked, and I don't know... Something's just telling me Jess is gonna be all right. Um, you know, or maybe I'm in shock over the whole thing. It all feels very surreal. It's like someone died, but I was just talking to them and I don't really care yet because my brain hasn't come around to the idea that they're gone.

Mind you, maybe I just don't cry. Maybe something's wrong with me. I feel like I'm just, you know, standing, and staring at a coffin, waiting to hear the church bells and telling myself I should be crying, but there's just nothing there. Does that make sense? I mean, Jess isn't dead. She'll be all right.

I think she'll be all right.

I honestly don't know, and don't get me wrong, I'm worried... but what the heck am I even trying to say here?

Okay. When my grandma died, I couldn't cry, and this feels sort of like that. We were really close, which made it worse because I felt like I owed it to her to cry. But no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't do it. I was sad. Like really horribly, desperately sad.

I just remember trying to bring to mind the last words she said to me. It, it didn't work. I still have no idea what she said. I dunno. Maybe it doesn't matter, but that's what this feels like. It's like my chest is all twisted on the inside and I, I can't take a full breath. So it feels good to get it out, even if that's not what you're here to listen to.

Heh. Not exactly what you could call, uh, prime behind the scenes content, but there you have it. Bonded by trauma, we are, eh? Anyway, uh, En-, Entry? No, that's not right. Damnit, what you call this bloody thing. "Jesus, Mark. It doesn't matter. No one's going to hear it." Hah, suppose you're right, Mark. "I'm always right except when you're wrong and if I'm wrong, so are you." Blimey. You're almost definitely right about that.

(Mark Chuckles)

Mark: Jesus Christ. I need to go touch some grass. I've been sitting in the shed alone for the last two days, hoping to catch either of them coming or going. Bones are overrated, I suppose. Well, uh, bye for now? End of confession? Ooh, oh, we should do confessionals like on survivor. Uh Yeah! In this episode of 'The Shed', Mark, mark admits to eating D's leftover subway, but blames it on Cole. "Yes, and I'd do it again!" Tune in next week to see the exciting conclusion to-

Oh.

Hello.

Seriously?

You're joking.

Oh my God. Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah. I'm leaving right now.

(Tape recorder sounds)

Mark: Tiny Terrors is an anthology horror podcast produced by Pulp Audio and licensed under a creative commons attribution, non-commercial share alike 4.0 international license.

D: This episode was directed by Cole Weavers with sound production and editing by Mike LeBeau.

Mark: To find additional information or to join our Paton for additional content and ad free episodes, visit our website www.tinyterrorspod.com

D: Follow us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook at TinyTerrorsPod,

Mark: Or join the Pulp Audio discord by clicking the link in the description below.

D: Rate and review us on Spotify and Apple.

Mark: And finally, thanks for listening.

#tiny terrors #tiny terrors podcast #tiny terrors pod #tiny terrors transcript #tt transcript

[althedasworld]

Fear is odd.

Or at least the reactions we have to it.

Five days ago I found a tumor in my right breast.

Day before yesterday my doctor confirmed it was def there and set in motion the huge, ponderous and overly complex machinery that is the Danish healthcare system.

Yesterday I was contacted by my regional Hospital and notified that a time for a mammography screening was booked for today.

We have a shit ton of cancer in my family. Sooo much cancer of all kinds.

I was on birth control for three decades.

My point?

I'm at a very real risk of losing my right breast or even my life.

Apart from a 2 minute panic attack right after finding the tumor, my only reaction has been deciding not to tell my family until we know what is going to happen, (preferably until it's all fixed/we know I'm dying) since my mom's colon tumor is still being treated and she crumbles completely under any kind of stress (poor emotional regulation from childhood trauma and severe PTSD will do that).

I'm dissociating like crazy and this post has been my first real attempt at actually looking at my own emotional state and at putting words to what I am feeling.

How do I personally cope with fear?

The panic attack consisted of a deep dread and helplessness resulting in a few tears and a feeling of choking.

Got a hug from hubby who offered a slew of things to help - taking care of any and all chores for the foreseeable future, dropping any and all work to just hang out or cuddle, listen while I vent, researching and summarising the heck out of breast cancer and what to expect etc - he's amazing like that.

I chose to send him off to his conference call and just... Dive into a book. Then eat some chocolate and play a cozy non-challenging game I've been into lately.

.. And its dawned on me that I'm as crap as my mother at this stuff.

I don't know how to feel fear. I hide.

I dissociate at any and all uncomfortable emotions, hoping they'll go away if I'm numb for long enough. No wonder I'm as messed up as I am.

It shouldn't really be a surprise, no one modelled healthy emotional coping strategies to me in my childhood and I've actually met horrifyingly few in possession of them (husband being one of them).

I'm not sure how I was supposed to have acquired any.

What little I have was hard earned through over a decade of therapy and introspection. I really thought I was healthier than this.

Trying to be present in myself right now is to deliberately dive into a churning, nauseous maelstrom of panic and grief; I'm not able to handle it for more than a few seconds at a time, and I'm completely exhausted all the time no matter if I make the effort or not.

When I dissociate, hide, swallow it all and ignore it, I'm left with a low, constant unease. A pain in my throat and sternum as my vagus nerve clamors for attention.

How do people cope with fear like this? How am I supposed to react?

I honestly don't know. I'd really really like to.

#health #psychology #trauma #cancer #coping mechanism

[maguro13-2]

Shattered Hero ~ Origins of the Ink Demon : Episode Maka Finale (5/11)

[Tails Doll Realm]

Seto : Ugh! Where am I? Am I in some kind of Saya no Uta sh*t? I better stay away from reading that disgusting Eldritch visual novel, cause eldritches are seriously gross and disturbing.

[Powerful Man From the Darkness - Kenji Yamamoto]

Seto : What the hell is place? Guess I'm not in some of kind of Saya no Uta sh*t, but what the hell did he take me too? Okay, this may have been a disturbing world, but I gotta find that doll first! (To me) And while you're at it, could you please change the music? That song sounded like it's from X-Men!

Me : (Sighs) Fine! (changes music)

[The Pandemonium - Tatsuyuki Maeda]

Seto : Alright, then here I go! Alright you stupid doll! Where can you be somewhere in this realm you dragged me? Just what the hell is this hellscape looking alike this? Is this Eldritch horror or am I seeing things that is totally disturbing and gross! Is this the path that leads me out of here? Not sure who's smart idea was it to make it Eldritch horror.

(monsters laughing sinisterly)

Seto : These must be the minions of that doll! Get out of my way!

Tails Doll Minion : Then find another way!

Seto : I don't know if I can get pass these guys!

Tails Doll Minion : Ha! You think that you can get to that ship to stop Demon Vibe's dream of galactic conquest, eh? I knew a Deathless girl would be the result of death's children that acclaims to be another of Shinigami's goons. What a little pussy!

Seto : Hmph! *DBZ SFX : SLASHING*

Tails Doll Minions : (deathly grunt)

Seto : You think that I'm Shinigami's or just Shinra's puppet. That Shinigami poser was that Dokeshi named Shotaro and you don't know what Shinra is! But I guaranteed to you all that I am Shinigami, a title that is worth mine and not that Kusakabe wannabe that brings the influence to that heroic crap of his! This is the reason that I dislike the Ohkuboverse and it's influence to thyself! (continues running while fighting off the enemies) This place is full of these stupid f**ks and there will be no sunshine for them! Brutal and grotesque, I am one vicious reaper that lurks into the day and night, and I got a clear sight!

(scene later cuts to Seto jumping on the floating platforms)

Seto : I can jump higher to get a cross on these floating things called "Platforms", but my life as a a deathless girl that will make me a girl to do some action over here! So much for being a dream girl! But got to find that doll first!

"later..."

Seto : Well, I made it all the way here, but this is the way leading to that doll! Here goes! (attempts to destroy the gate, but deflects) What!? It's only another...*QUACK!* Eldritch horror thing! Well, damn it! I'm supposed to know that my powers won't unlock it.

Saya : Looks like you're having problems with Eldritch horror stuff. Maybe that I, a girl from Eldritch horror, can give you an assistance!

Seto : Huh? Who the heck are you?

"MEET SAYA THE ELDRITCH"

"THE ELDRITCH GIRL THAT LOVES MEAT AND FUNIMORI! "

"A HEROINE FROM NITROPLUS'S SMASH HIT HORROR!"

"Warning : Saya is the humanoid form Eldritch Horror. Do not rape or f**k with an actual Eldritch horror that are truly happened in real life. You will die from Eldrtich horror."

Saya : Ever since I was born from the world of Eldritch Horror, I became so popular that humans would make the girl of Eldritch horror from all the way to Providence Rhode Island is where I got my story's inspiration from Lovercraft horror. I was the only girl that makes a human fall in love and gave birth to my only love child. But don't expect any mercy from the writer who made Fate and that Magical Girl show in the 2010s, or I'm giving humans the taste of their medicine. Now stand back and let me open this door with the powers of...[with Barnacle Boy's voice] "ELDRITCH POWER"!

(BOOM!)

Seto : Wow! That's some Cthulhu power! You sure you didn't get that from Cthulhu?

Saya : Well, it maybe intriguing that I'm the strongest Eldritch from Japan there is.

Seto : Now then, I wonder where he is...?

"later..."

[Can You Feel the Sunshine? - TJ Davis, Richard Jacques]

Seto : Oh great! This is weird. Where on earth would you be in a place that doesn't know where did he took place in? (realizing) We went back into 1997! This is Sonic R, a footing race setup by Dr. Robotnik who plotted the entire tournament that happened to this day.

Saya : So there are five racers in total, but there's only three robots, that makes it eight racers right?

Seto : Actually. There's only like ten of them. But not just three robots, four of them. There's Metal Sonic, a Eggrobo, a Metal Knuckles...Wait, when did this mad scientist build Metal Knuckles? And last but not least. The Tails Doll himself, a doll with a diamond attatch to his head and he bears a resemblance to Tails. It's a robot made by Dr. Ivo Robotnik that was tasked to the only mission that ever gets, racing. Tails Doll was the first robot doppelganger made by Dr. Robotnik himself that wanted to be a a mean looking robot to defeat it's original, Miles Tails Prower. One day after the end of the race, Tails Doll failed miserably and Robotnik called him a useless robot that was only tasked with one mission and immediately abandons him into the scrap. But in order to get his revenge, he set up a game of tag and chosen one of his victims, the victims that he chosen were his robot buddies, this is all where it all began on Resort Island.

Saya : Resort Island?

Seto : Indeed.

Tails Doll : This time! I get to be the first one to play tag and it's the four of you guys that I chosen!

Eggrobo : Oh, umm, you sure that you wanted to play tag with us? This is some kind of set up of for the three of us. Playing tag with us robots isn't exactly a good idea. Who's the last one that gets to be tag?

Tails Doll : It's easy for you to ask, the first one gets to be tag and the last standing shall be the victorious winner of tag!

Metal Sonic : You literally have no idea who's going tag the fifth one?

Tails Doll : Only to find out shortly.

Seto : Fifth one? Who is talking...(realizing) Oh no...(sees Sonic in his super state) The fifth one is Sonic in his super state!

Saya : His super state? What are we going to do?

Seto : Don't worry, We'll have to wait for the target and then I'll easily defeat him.

Saya : Gotcha.

[Start Fanfare - Richard Jacques]

Announcer : Ready...Set...GO!

[Can You Feel the Sunshine - Richard Jacques, TJ Davis]

Seto : Shoot! The tag race has just begun!

Eggrobo : (chuckles) This should be a piece of cake! I'm gonna be the first one to tag along with my gun and the no will--

Tails Doll : Tag! You're it!

Eggrobo : No fair! That wasn't supposed to happened! (gets pulled) WOAAAAAHHH!!! *SPLASH!*

Seto : Hey, that wasn't part of the flashback!

Metal Knuckles : Eggrobo! What happened to you? Eggy?

Tails Doll : Tag!

Metal Knuckles : Hey, isn't playing tag is a kids game and we were supposed to...Huh? (pulls out something that is a note saying "You're It!") Hahahaha! Very funny! *robotic beeping* OH SON OF A--! *KABOOOM!*

Metal Sonic : Hahahaha! I am the last one standing now! Oh great! I'm being tagged aren't I? (slaps himself, causing his eyes to spin) Oh well, time for me to go out of game!

Seto : [To Saya] Look! he's tagging his best buddies to bring up the curse and now he's going for the last, which the curse will officially happened!

Saya : What's gonna happen to the last one?

Super Sonic : Heh! Guess I'm the only one that is the last person there is to ever find! But what on earth would I ever get all that in action, you'll never catch me, I'm the fastest thing alive! In super speed!

Tails Doll : Bingo!

[Can You Feel the Sunshine (Acid Mix) - Richard Jacques]

Tails Doll : Finally! You are now...ALL MINE!!!

Super Sonic : What!? Hey! What's going on! This wasn't part of the deal!

Tails Doll : (laughs) With all four of them being chosen as the first of my victims, I can finally unleashed my revenge!

Saya : If he gets to the last one, we're done for! Time for us to get into action and give a good counterstrike! I was planning on doing that to be so cool!

Seto : Alright...(the two quickly runs out of the bush) Now's our chance to stop that doll!

Saya : Right!

Tails Doll : And now the curse shall be unleashed and you'll be dead as last!

Super Sonic : Oh man! I'm gonna be toast!

Saya : YAMEROOOOOOOO!!!

Tails Doll : What!?

Seto : Don't you even dare lay a finger on him!

Super Sonic : What's that? (in slo-motion) NOOOOOOOOO!!!

*DBZ SFX : Potara Fuse*

"So what's gonna happen if the doll has ever released the curse?"

"The whole world is gonna scare their socks off when the doll tagged more than four sacrifices and then the last one which will unleashed into the planet."

"Yeah, Feeling the sunshine hasn't been this much brighter than the darkest days that I ever faced with."

"Today's might be my luckiest day as Japan's Shinigami."

~ Act 30 : The Doll's Curse. ~

#sonic the hedgehog #needless #saya no uta #song of saya #sega #sonic team #nitroplus #gen urobuchi #studio madhouse #crossover #drama #comedy #dark comedy #horror #mystery #thriller #supernatural #fantasy #dark fantasy #science fiction #action #adventure #psychological

[dewsdoit]

we're not really strangers pt. 1.1 - extras: Wonwoo's POV

wonu x y/n | soft romance with a bit of angst ❗️no professional proofreading. may contain grammatical errors.

it’s been a long time but i’m back. I honestly don’t know if I should continue this but I have some free time right now and I’m still kinda having fun. again, don’t take this seriously! it’s just purely fictional <33

—————————————

It's been extremely mundane these days. It feels like a routine going to school and getting up is the worst part. I thought I would be excited to finally take my last semester as a student in this school, but I feel numb.

As I was brushing my hair in front of the mirror, I started thinking about how my college life has been pretty eventful…yet it feels so empty. I've been active in school my whole life. I joined contests, I participated in different clubs and organizations, and I even tried joining our futsal team. Don't get me wrong, I've made a lot of friends and companions throughout these events. I'm grateful for the opportunities and I don't regret doing all those things, but I've been wanting some peace and quiet lately. My course isn’t helping as well since it started to feel more of a requirement than a hobby that I feel strongly passionate about. It just doesn’t feel the same anymore.

I stared at my reflection for awhile. The guy in front of me looks so familiar, but I don’t see the same guy who was so excited to take up film as their major and finally fulfill his dream as a director or producer.

My thoughts were disrupted when I heard a knock on my door. “Are you gonna take any longer? We’re gonna be late!” Jen says irritatedly. “Just a few more minutes! Be patient!”, I scold back at her.

Living with my mom’s bestfriend’s daughter has been quite eventful, honestly. Considering the fact that people would commonly mistake us as a couple, I actually treat her like the sister I (wish I) never had.

“What the heck took you so long??” That’s one cute way of saying good morning to someone who just experienced a little identity crisis this early in the morning.

“The shower wasn’t hot enough,” I responded. “Can we please go now?”

“You told me to wait patiently and now you’re bossing me around to head out? My god, aren’t you the sweetest?” She messes up my hair that took me three tries to make it look less fluffy. Oh I wanna push her so bad.

As I parted ways with Jen and entered our building, every thought I had this morning suddenly vanished. It's as if nothing happened. I guess I can still call this school as my second home, but only because I know my friends make it suck less. I took the easiest elective under my major, Film-101. Going back to the basics was a good idea since I feel the need to remember why I chose this course in the first place. Plus, some of my friends are taking up this course for fun too. "Hi, sorry, is this the room for Film-101?" a soft voice asked my friend, "Yeah. We were just heading inside too," my friend responded. "Thanks!" she replied, and my friend was following her with his eyes as she entered the room. I playfully elbowed him and he laughed it off. The truth is I also did the same thing, but not just because I find her pretty. It's because I know her, and I know her too well that my hands are suddenly sweating and my cheeks feel warm. I thought taking this class was gonna be a breeze, but now I find myself shifting my eyes in her direction from time to time. I might just be in awe because I haven't seen her since middle school, but why am I so nervous? It's just her. I shouldn't feel this way anymore. "Dude, are you even listening?" my friend snapped at me. "Yeah dude, just keep talking," I wasn't even looking at him when she suddenly looked back in my direction. Now my friend has truly got my full attention and I'm faking a reaction just to make a fool out of myself. TWICE. That was my sign to stop whatever the hell I was doing and just do what I was supposed to do. The last thing I want is to embarrass myself by failing this class. I have to get it together.

——————————————————————————

I can’t seem to start my car. I’m watching you walk away from the cafe and you look so cute with your hoodie almost making your face look so round. I waited for you to get on your ride back home.

I sit and ponder for a while. My mind keeps replaying how you gently removed my glasses. God, you were so close that it didn’t feel real. It took me back to middle school, when I couldn’t find my glasses after playing at the Mcdonald’s ball pit and you helped me find them. You asked me the same question with such gentleness. Your kind gesture easily made my heart pound so fast that I thought I was going to pass out.

But of course, I expected that you wouldn’t remember me anymore. I don’t think I’ve changed a lot physically, but I’m more active in school now compared to when we were kids. But you… I’ve always known how pretty you are but your eyes are sharper now. You parted your hair differently and you don’t put your hair up anymore. You put on a little bit of makeup to make your cheeks and lips look flushed but you still don’t smile too often. You’re still awfully quiet in class and you keep yourself well-reserved. You choose your crowd and I’m glad you get along with a lot of girls now. Kids used to make fun of you for having a gap between your teeth, but I personally think it’s what makes you stand out in the cutest way possible.

I think about you a little more often than I should. And how you’ve stayed pretty much the same, but also how much you’ve changed. I start to think about how I try not to miss the chances I have in everything I do, and I wanna take this chance I have to try and take my chance on you.

I glanced at my bag and I’m thanking my genius friend for suggesting this card game. Hopefully when we draw the last card, I’ll be able to get to know you better. And if things go the right way, I hope I’ll be brave enough to ask you to see me more than just a project partner. And again, hopefully, more than just a friend.

#alternate universe #seventeen #wonwoo #romance #jeon wonwoo #svt x oc #svt

[benefits1986]

The Inner Child Chronicles

Weekends are meant for free play in this adult adulterated world, yes?

Another heated maroons and cool-warm blue live game came this Sunday. Was supposed to pen this right after coming home around midnight because... however, I'd like to write it out during early mornings for the vibe and for the heck of it.

I also had debriefs and talked to some people and managed to squeeze in three hours of sleep. What I am realizing is that I'm watching games live because my inner child is finally coming of age. Gone are the days when I would hole up myself over each game I like to watch live but not do so because I don't feel like I earned that spot in Araneta or SM Arena. It's not just about the school spirit and wearing your school color and school pride. It's way bigger than that. All my life, there's no other school I'd like to be part of except UP Diliman or Ateneo. Syempre, doon tayo sa mas mura at makatotohanang choice 'di ba? If you ask me why... eto lang. Sobrang simple na walang need na logical explanation. Diliman because of Ikot. Ateneo because of Patty x Atom + Bianca Gonzalez in Candy and Seventeen PH, and seeing weird OOTDs na puwede sa campus. Diliman because I wanted to take up economics and eventually, try my luck in being a lawyer. Ateneo because I know comm courses are actually worthwhile, as in buttery vibes all over. Diliman's chapel is also a legit vibe. As in parang puwede na akong ikasal doon levels basta -ber months para iwas-hulas. CHZ. Diliman because alam ko mahirap makapasok, lalo na makalabas pero sanay naman akong gumapang sa lusak since birth. Same for Ateneo, could have gone for scholarship kaso sabi ng nanay ko, hindi naman kakayanin 'yung allowance at layo; which make some sense naman din.

'Di ba? Ang babaw. Pero that's how I roll talaga e.

So, every game I watch is me talking to my inner child. Kahit one big binat may be waving right now. Sana 'wag naman. Sana ipanalo ko na 'tong virus na 'to kasi 'di rin siya birong itawid. Nag-OD naman na ako ulit ng supplements, kaya sana tapos na. I really can not afford this fog brain for the race to the finish this Q4. So help me, universe!

Our spot yesterday is probably the most interesting spot to date. Hayaan mo ng hindi patron seats because fucking scalpers are milking the shit out of this game. UGH. Wala pa tayo sa exciting part, sky-high prices na talaga?

Which brings to a funny convo I had before the game started. I called P and asked if nasa area ba siya. I have 1 ticket to spare kasi. LOL. Nag-joke na: Wow! Nanood talaga siya ng live ngayon. Araneta pa. Effort. Me: Wala kasi school ko and wala ring pambili ng tickets noon e. Happy? Bumawi naman siya saying na happy siya legit for me and nood kami live sa bakbakan ng Archers and Maroons. Sabi ko, pagiisipan ko. LOLOLLOL. Che. Pero maganda rin laro ng Archers kahit green na 'di ko trip sila.

Also, blue second dad and maroon kiddo me had a short but ugh debrief. Talon daw ang blues. Akala ko typo, hindi pala. And that swerte lang daw maroons this game kaya next time daw ulit. Syempre, hinding-hindi tayo natatakot kahit kanino so sabi ko: Sabi mo e. Next time it is. Hehe. I don't use "hehe" unless provoked and in the mood of sarcasm. We've been talking the past days and gosh, andaming ganaps. We're sooooo excited.

Honestly, the concept of the inner child scared me, initially. Kasi saks lang naman childhood ko. Hindi naman siya super traumatic and generally, happy naman siya. However, the inner child is a way to connect the dots backwards. Steve Jobs. Pasowkkkk. Going back to our seats for last Sunday's game. Of course, Ateneo side na right beside UP. LOLOLLOLL. 'Yun palang panalo na e. I love being on thin ice. CHZ. Hahahahaha. We were seated beside a boomer dad and his college apo or kid. Both are towering AF. In front of us is a big family of maroons and blues. Mom is an IG mom. I guess dad has work or is an expat. Grade school to college age range. Kaya ang lala ng bangayan. As in. The mom would take videos of each "one for the books" reactions. I think mom is from Ateneo. She wore a striped dress but super giddy niya when the blues shoot that ball and get that ball. Andami niyang kiddos and the interactions are worth the layo and the binat, all the more.

I came with a mindset na: Okay. I need to stay in Manila para magpagaling ng tuluyan; so sige, eto na muna. Have a little fun in Manila muna bago mag hibernate. Okay. Sana naman akong matalo so tataya ako doon sa dark horse.

Yes, the 8-1 standing is something; but to me, it's not just about the numbers. The games are gapang sa lusak games and the plays could have been better to be honest. Ako lang 'to a. Ako lang. Siguro kasi, bias ko sila so mas critical ako sa galaw nila or the lack of thereof. As an example, wala masyadong get-back 'pag may mintis. UGH. True talaga na height is but a convenience. Sana mas masipag and mas focused. Maraming butas. Maraming tiny tweaks na kaya at realistic gawain. In the same manner, oks naman maging maliksi pero naman, alamin mo kung kelan mo ipapasa ang bola kesa mala-agawang buko mo ibira. Please lang. Sana Enya PL nila saka 741Hz para medyo mas tumatagos ang bawat intention. :D Aywawww. Apply mo yan, girl sa buhay mo a. Ayusin mo talaga. LOLOLL.

The real reason why I postponed this thought fart is because of this inner child dogshow. Let it be known here in my tiny space that I know why this had to take a long while. SHEMAY. Eto na po. My soul sister always eggs me and irks me that she saw how I shifted from the blah girl to a bitch-you-can girl when I left nursing. I felt like she was just patronizing me which I fucking hate. 'Yung feeling ko na okay, I "failed" at nursing because I can't care for mom and be a care professional 24/7. But, she keeps at it until the past days. Lagi niya talagang masasabi 'yan with feelings. Last night, I realized that my dark blue meets maroon heart is probably the best heart I can have (and give. shet.) in my 37 years of shit-xistence. Perhaps, it's the universe telling me that I needed to tame my jagged and apologetic edges in Leon Guinto before riding countless Ikot and Toki jeeps dahil may laban na ako para ilaban ang gusto ko. Most importantly, mom truly, madly and deeply believed that I'd go all out and max out in Diliman. As in wild kung wild. Looking back, the chances of this happening is not 100%... 10000000000% to the nth power. I'm not talking about the wild na good ha. Wild na panira ng moral compass levels most likely. 'Yung tawag ni mom doon: parang nakawala sa coral. HAHAHAHAHA. Very apt. Very graphic. It's fantastic.

Last night, I saw an Ateneo LS jacket waving proudly at me. HUHUHUHUHUHUHUHU. Syempre, sabi ko kay second dad, oks na ako dito and that AI is the way, the highway and the skyway to hell for this chapter. Pero, para lang matahimik siya. Hindi pa rin ako sumusuko BUT now, I'd like to proceed with intention and caution. Hindi kasi ito basta-basta unlike other career paths and shifts. Ang KPI dito buhay, dignidad at kinabukasan ng bawat kaso na mapapanalo at matatalo mo. HUY. In a world where truth is relative and where a chair cannot be and can be a chair, ergo, fuck yourself hard... LOL... hindi siya biro. For someone na gustong nanalo because I love the sheer joy it brings and hindi rin takot matalo, na moody shitball, na oddball, should I proceed, your honor, chz... dapat buo ako. Hindi puwedeng half-baked lang. And hindi pa doon natatapos ang lahat. Dahil nga ang totoo ay pwedeng kathang-isip lamang lalo na kung alam mo ang galawang Kotler - 4Ps at iba pa, hindi ba? HAHAHAHHA. Evil laugh.

So, yes po. This is indeed my inner child eras tour. Speaking of Taylor, I'd give her another go... baka naman. Just a curious anti-social experiment. As I said, Reputation is a really good one. Hamunang white supremacy shitshow pa rin siya. And sobrang unfair sa fans sa PH na wala siya PERO I think, she will have a biglaang PH concert sa gitna ng kawalan sa Pinas. Para mas pasavogue and trending. LOL. Malasimbo 5.0. Huy. Cultural exploitation na naman po tayo niyan. LELS.

[reinedescauchemars]

on colonialism, imperialism, and racism

this is just kind of the culmination of a few days' worth of anger at the world for being the way it is, and especially towards people like me, since i feel like a lot of the time desi (south asian) people aren't considered to be victims of anti-black (because if you're from the north, you're probably too pale for that) or anti-asian (because people where i am seem to take "asian" to mean "east and southeast asian") racism, but desi people are victims of racism, and also of imperialism and colonialism

i think a lot of people fall into the model minority myth trap when thinking about desis. they think we came to the west for opportunities because we're highly educated tech workers, or because we're gas station or small shop owners who pulled ourselves up by our bootstraps. there is a literal stereotype that gujaratis are convenience store owners. and when the model minority myth is used, it erases the impacts of colonialsm and imperialism and racism on us, because we can't be doing great financially (desi americans earn more on average than white americans) if we've been oppressed, right? wrong

and then there's also fucking modi and hindu nationalism and that makes some non-desi people think that oh, india's always been like this, a hotbed of sectarian violence, but it wasn't always like this

and then there's the non-desis who go off to their yoga classes and talk about aligning their chakras and appropriate desi culture without even thinking about it. i'm supposed to just be okay with people divorcing meditation from the underlying buddhist philosophy because meditation is trendy but being buddhist isn't, and honestly i don't think you can divorce yoga and meditation from the religions that created them, especially since yoga isn't about stretching but about finding peace with yourself and being able to handle all the life throws at you in a calm way

anyhow. that's the first bit of anger out of the way

this all started with me trying to fill out a form for school and i saw that it had autofilled my ethnic background as pakistani, which is wrong. i'm punjabi, my mother was born in india, and my ancestors were sikh. most pakistanis are muslim; there's a small sikh minority but most sikhs got the fuck out of pakistan during the partition

sikhism originated in punjab, which was a large area of land named after the five rivers that run through it. punjab now is an indian state and a pakistani state, separated from each other by the radcliffe line that set the india-pakistan border. the combined area of both states is smaller than the actual punjab region. so there's sikh holy sites in what's now pakistan, a muslim country known for its intolerance of religious minorities, including sikhs. the holiest site in sikhism is in amritsar, a city right on the border and just barely in india

i say i'm punjabi before i say i'm indian because to me, being from that region is more important than saying what country my mother was born in. punjabis are indian and pakistani. punjabis on both sides of the border dance bhangra. punjab used to be a fairly tolerant place of different religions, with hindus, muslims, and sikhs living side by side. it was never perfect, but it used to be a heck of a lot better than it is now

in 1947, east and west pakistan (later renamed to bangladesh and pakistan, respectively) were created due to the british-supported muslim nationalist movement. yep, that's right: the british sowed discord in the citizens of the raj, turned a prominent political figure into a muslim nationalist, and then drew borders based on outdated census data that forced millions to move across the two borders. that line is called the radcliffe line

that was the partition. it was brutal, it was violent, the true number of dead are unknown but there was so much death. there were sectarian massacres and murders and rapes. and partition tensions have never really calmed down: there's still the question of kashmir, which both india and pakistan want

i blame the british government for the rise of modi. i blame the british government for the generational trauma that my family has suffered through. i blame the british government for exploiting sikhs during wwi, in which they were underpaid for wartime service and farmers were underpaid for their grain, and i blame winston churchill for the preventable deaths of so many bengalis during wwii. i blame european imperialists for destroying the economy of bengal and making bangladesh one of the poorest countries in the world

i blame colonialism and imperialism for fucking up the indian subcontinent and screwing over desi people

and what else do i blame imperialism for? making calling myself indian virtually impossible without having to explain that i don't mean that i'm native american, because i'm not, i'm punjabi

in 1492, christopher columbus sailed the ocean blue and brutally exploited and murdered taino people when he discovered that he'd landed on an island with gold, not realizing that there wasn't actually that much gold, and the gold the taino had had been painstakingly collected over generations. columbus thought he'd reached china. but what did he call the taino? "indians". and that term stuck, so now all indigenous peoples in the americas were called "indians" and that somehow stuck around in the minds of most americans

i call myself indian and then realize that almost nobody around me understands that i mean to say my ancestors were from the indian subcontinent. i say i'm indian american and then get asked if i mean "american indian". i tried to change my ethnic background on the form to indian or punjabi or even desi, but the form had none of those options. instead, it had "asian indian"

this term pisses me off because first off, no indian person i know would call themselves that. we're just indian. and secondly? almost every time i see a survey that asks for race, indians are excluded from the asian category

here's a little fun fact that's not so fun at all: punjabi people were, for a long time, classified by the us census as white, but denied the same rights as other white people because their skin was "too dark". (punjabi people are pretty pale in the grand scheme of things.) a wwi punjabi sikh veteran, bhagat singh thind, who fought for the us was denied citizenship (by the us supreme court) because of this in 1923

here's another not so fun fact: sikh people, especially men, have been targeted in islamophobic attacks in the us because they wear turbans. most muslims don't wear turbans, but because pop culture says than anyone who wears turbans is muslim, this has resulted in violence against the sikh community, who are more than 90% of the turban-wearers in america

but back to the form: the fact that the survey split up the desi mainland ethnic backgrounds into asian indian, bangladeshi, and pakistani makes me annoyed. the borders between bangladesh, india, and pakistan were meaningless until 1947, because they didn't exist. bengalis and punjabis, to name but two ethnic groups, live on both sides of these borders. i'm more similar, from an ethnic background perspective, to a pakistani punjabi than i am to an indian bengali, but because of the borders, i am in the same "ethnic background" group as the indian bengali but not the pakistani punjabi. indians have all kinds of ethnic backgrounds, but i very rarely see that reflected in western society

i have a lot of anger on how colonialism and imperialism and racism have hurt people and this is just the tip of the iceberg about this, but i'm sick and tired of my culture and heritage being misrepresented and oversimplified and appropriated and so i'm going to end this here, having burnt off some steam but before i start boiling with rage about this again

[gigglyramblings]

While You Were Sleeping (2017) Overall Thoughts

Spoilers ahead.

I'm convinced that I would have enjoyed this drama a lot more if I was watching it while it was airing as it just feels a little dated now. It's a good drama but not a great one it's biggest flaw is that it doesn't maximize on any of its strengths thus doesn't pack as much of an emotional punch as it could have. For example, it employs some great tropes such as the protagonists being neighbors and kind of becoming a found family of sorts as they share breakfast and stuff but I think it misses the crucial part of why found families are so appealing because it fills some sort of Gap that the protagonists were missing in their life. However, this drama fails to capitalize and emphasize on the emotional bit and it just feels like they are having breakfast together because two out of the three protagonists suck at cooking.

This weakness is further exemplified as the three protagonists all share the ability of having dreams that correctly predict the future, the drama cuts the chase and the protagonists find out fairly early on and help each other out using their dreams. However, again you have a news reporter, a prosecutor and a cop and your entire drama kind of revolves around cases yet, we only see them working on three cases across the entire drama together? That number just feels way too low I'm not saying they should have rushed the cases but it just feels like they wasted a lot of opportunity for them to use their professions to the fullest capacity and make it sort of like a crime solving trio.

My biggest gripe with the drama though has to be the fact that they made the protagonists dream prophecy powers to function like a free get out of jail card when they hinted at the fact that changing things may actually make things worse we never actually got to see that play out. We never got to see any consequences of them using their powers to get better outcomes for themselves and those around them. Fate was never like I'm the ultimate bitch and you can't escape me even though it was heavily hinted at. All this just puts a damper on investigator Choi's death because why he try to change it since he knew was going to happen we've seen characters do that with no negative consequences so I don't get why he had to die.

I get that it was his choice and given everything that has happened to him so far it is fitting for the character but without establishing consequences for using the powers for what essentially amounts to self gain it just makes his ultimate choice seem like a bolt of extreme noble idiocy, which in my opinion is like the worst k-drama trope there is.

I am most likely being overly harsh on this drama and like I said at the very beginning of my post I would have most likely enjoyed the heck out of this drama if I watched it while it was airing or a few years earlier perhaps. But I suppose my expectations were too high? It is definitely the weakest Park Hye Ryun drama I've seen. So if you want to watch a Park Hye Ryun drama pick either Pinocchio or I Hear Your Voice those are far better examples of her work in my opinion.

And now I've seen every notable Park Hye Ryun drama except Startup and I'm definitely not in the mood for that one and probably never will be as I really don't want to get into the love triangle drama. But I'm totally looking forward to her next drama starring Park Eun Bun so Diva of the Deserted Island please be good!🙏

TL;DR: one of those shows that I would have totally loved if I watched it a few years earlier. Didn't pack the emotional punch I was hoping for. It was fun seeing so many familiar faces and that they have all deservedly become such bigger stars in kdrama land. 7.5

#while you were sleeping #while you were sleeping 2017 #kdrama #sbs while you were sleeping #overall thoughts

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

What. the heck

xdd

Okay promo time

AHH new newbies??

New newbies :DDDD!!!

Yeah I suppose it has been a while since we've gotten some lol!

And we've been down to only two so ┐⁠(⁠ ⁠∵⁠ ⁠)⁠┌

Anyway oooh that's exciting :D

OH WAIT YEAH THAT MEANS THEY'RE ATTENDINGS!!!

Shaun said that and I like did not register/process it at all XD

Anyway YAYYYYAYAYAYYAYYY SHAUN AND PARK ARE ATTENDINGS!!!! WHOOOOOO :DDDDD!!!

Anyway lol (I came back to edit that I'll be real because I forgot about it but saw it when I saw the summary for the next episode just now - I only posted this like 10 minutes ago but actually 5 because I accidentally just saved it as a draft without posting it first lol aaaaanyways - and I felt like it needed to be mentioned xD)

Asher xD

Lol ready to see him happy again <33

Also ready to see all his trauma >:)) :DD

I better

Or I will do it myself xD

Lol anyway

AHHHH Lim's back :DD

Aww Lim :'))

And yeah, he did save her life :'D

Them your honor <3

Oh no 😧

Lim :(((

Yeah I get it

To a lesser degree but yeah it's hard to accept that your life has changed and you can't always do what you used to be able to :'((

WAIT GIRL WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH THE MOTORCYCLE NOW????

Sorry not the time XDD

Oh no :o

Lim :'(((

I hope she doesn't have to step down but if she does I hope she finds something really good to do :')

Okay and that's about it! Those are the last of my final thoughts, and now it's time for the. . .

REVIEW

I LOVED THIS EPISODE SOOOO MUCH 😭😭😭😭!!!

From the angst on like, literally everyone's part, to the relationships, to the surgeries, to everyone being okay??? It's amazing :')).

I said a LOT in my liveblog, especially near the end (as I am wont to do with the good doctor lol, but especially after it's ended and there's no time limit on me and my backlog xD), so this review will be pretty short.

First of all! Jordan, you did great <333. There wasn't much of a focus on her but she did amazing :')). Also Glassman, had to make some tough calls but again, he did good <333. Ah, and Andrews? Fantastic <33. He had to make some stuff calls, and he also got some good emotional moments but yeah, good for him, wonderful <3. I love them all so much :)). I mean them and also just all of them in their little family lol.

Lim and Dalisay (plus that guy with Crohn's)!! I am so glad they're alright :'D. I mean Lim has some stuff to work through, and trust me when I say I'm not trying to make it seem like this is an awful fate or whatever or that her life is pointless now that she's paralyzed, that's not what I'm trying to say it ALL. But it still sucks, and it's jarring, and while I know she'll be okay, it'll be a hard journey, and I hope she does well along the way <3. And I really hope we get to see some oft he lasting affects of Dalisay - on all of them, really - and don't just stop seeing her so much :')). I still love her even if her/this plotline's mostly over now so I hope she sticks around besides just being there <3.

Morgan and Park!! Lol it's weird I listed Lim and Villanueva together when every other one's gonna be a ship xD. Anyway, THEMM 😭😭😭😭. I can't y'all, they don't deserve this heartbreak and neither do I :((. I honestly see Park's point though, but I do think she's ready to put them first. I think they will (PROBABLY) get back together, after a little while, just because I don't see one of them leaving the show quite yet, nor do I see them being able to be working together still after breaking up xD. But, yeah,I really hope they come out of this alright <33.

Shaun and Lea!!! They are so amazing 😭😭😭😭😭. I just- I can't. THEY'RE M A R R I E D D D D D D!!!!! I just love them so much :'DD. Shaun's plot with Steve was fascinating, and Lea stepping up to help was just *chef's kiss* amazing. Even through her turmoil (and Shaun doing his job even through his), she helped, and she supported Shaun, and she did an amazing job :'))). Also I swear that last scene (and the first one xD) was SO FREAKING SOFT 😭😭❤️🥰🥰😍😍. They're so adorable I can't, I love them <333.

Asher and Jerome!!!! Yes I'm leaving them for last even after Shaun and Lea, it's because I LOVE THEM, OKAY? Anyway lol.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍😍😍😍🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️😭😭❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 THEY SAID I LOVE YOUUUUU

THEY'RE IN L O V E YOUR HONOR :DDDDDDD 😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️😭❤️!!!!

Also I watched it back and yeah Jerome definitely did not say anything lol. Like he was trying but he most definitely did NOT lol. Asher did though so that's all I need <3.

But that is actually a lie I'm gonna need an "I love you" from Jerome at some point in the future, I don't care when, and I do miss a kiss 😔😔. Mourning the loss of the kids we could've had lol. But nah, that looked like an amazing hug <333. I would've loved a kiss but it probably fit better without one :))). That just means I need one in the future though lol.

ANYWAY!! The T R A U M A Asher went through this episode :o. Like DANG y'all can we address that??? Probably the most added trauma (like yk Shaun's ain't new) besides Villanueva and Lim!!! I really hope we do see the long-term effects/the consequences of that in the future. Also Jerome being scared and worried for Asher was amazing 😭😭😭❤️❤️🥰. Literally I love them so much. Oh and Jerome calling him Ash was what I LIVE FOR. That was AMAZING. Beautiful, my babeys, we love nicknames xDD 😭😭😭 <33333. Just- them 😊😊☺️☺️☺️😊.

Overall, I really, really loved this episode. It was such a great season premiere, and everybody played their parts perfectly. I meant in the plot, but the acting was amazing too :'D. I'm still having so many feelings lol. Most of them happy because I'm thinking about Jerome and Asher, and Shaun and Lea, but still lol xD. It was an awesome episode, full of suspense and cool plot points and twists (twists included in the cool). I thoroughly enjoyed it, this episode was just great. I think it's the start to a truly wonderful season.

What an amazing episode. I'm looking forward to what's coming up next in the series! This has been my review of. . .

The Good Doctor, Season 6, Episode 1: Afterparty

It was so great. And I am super excited for the next episode - it's going to be wild, I'm sure of it. See you next week for my review of. . .

The Good Doctor, Season 6, Episode 2: Change of Perspective

See you then!

#the good doctor #tgd #oasis's tgd chatter #they did NOT name it afterparty #I swear lol 😭😭 xDDD #lol anyways #yeah #STUNNING premiere #and I have a feeling the rest of the season will follow in its footsteps #and by that I mean the greatness things but like I said I wanna see the effects #let's not skip over that lol #anyway yeah <333 #love y'all :))) #byee!!!