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inkblot22 · 3 months

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Can You Keep A Little Secret?

JFC this took me longer than usual I'm so sorry anon. I sort of explained it before, but I didn't exactly use your prompt, based on ineptitude on my part. After I finish reading Oshi no Ko, I might try again! Line divider by @/cafekitsune.

This fic is aimed towards sort of everyone, but the reader possesses afab features (they don't come into play until later, this chapter has no mention of them.) You'll understand what I mean by it being for everyone if you read the first paragraph or so. It has to do with suspending your belief/ employing your imagination.

TW for: lots of confusion, semi-shy reader, creep behavior, mention of death, mention of lobotomy/grippy sock jail, reincarnation. These warnings will get worse, and this takes place when all characters are 18+.

Waking up was never your favorite part of the day, but that feeling increases tenfold when you wake up in someone else’s body. You know for sure you didn’t look like this last week, and the name on your ID is similar to your own, but you don’t recognize the face in the mirror. Whoever you’re inhabiting has a few similar features to your own, but your skin was never this dewy, your eyes never so… hollow and strange.

When you looked up your name, you found out that you, or your body, at least, had died in your sleep. When you looked up the name on that ID, you found out that you’re the child of some big business man and a prolific model, and you apparently dabble in acting. Your dad isn’t your dad, but he calls you every night to make sure you’re settling into your “new” apartment. Your mom isn’t your mom, but she has popped by once or twice to ask you how you’ve been and make you really good food. She mentioned last night that your acting instructor was worried, since you hadn’t attended your Thursday classes, and also that your agent has been trying to contact you. You didn’t know you had an agent.

When you called your agent, who was literally just titled “Agent” in your new phone, she sounded relieved then irritated, chiding you for living the high life too fast. She said you weren’t popular or loved enough to go on week-long benders, and then she mentioned that she had a job for you and she’d see you on Thursday. According to this phone that isn’t yours, Thursday was tomorrow.

You made a night of getting prepared- slathering on the fancy face masks, trying on various outfits, scrolling through the pictures on the phone of your new body in the past, painting your really gorgeous nails- and then you went to sleep and woke up to a phone call from your new dad.

“Hi, sweetheart!”

“Uh… hi, Dad…” You mumbled. You didn’t know him from Adam, but there was no point in being rude to him.

He pauses, and then he speaks slowly, “Did you hear from your agent, honey?”

“Yeah- yeah I did, uh, I have acting class in a little, and she said she has a job for me.”

“Oh, I’m glad to hear it! You know you can always visit me if something is wrong, okay? Just call me or Devin and he’ll come get you as soon as possible.”

You don’t know who Devin is, but you don’t point it out, “Of course. Thank you, dad.”

There was another pause. This one stretches out for a while and then he mumbles, “Okay… love you, sweetpea.”

“Uh… love you too. I’ll call you when I get back home?”

“Sure thing. Bye bye.”

The call ends with a click and you hop in the shower, trying to scrub away the confusion. You pair the lotion with a body spray that makes you smell like a summer afternoon in an apple orchard, and then you dress yourself in a soft off the shoulder sweater dress with a pair of tights with little sequins and gems sewn onto the sheer black material. You pull your hair back, tied at the nape of your neck, and roll on some lip gloss. You grab your bag, which isn’t your bag, and stroll out, walking down the street to get to the talent agency.

The receptionist looks at you in some measure of shock and greets you kindly. You smile and wave. He looks even more confused as you clomp into the stairwell. Once you get to the third floor, mildly out of breath, you hurry to room 3-5 and silently slide into the back.

You’re not sure why you’re acting so covert, as the class hasn’t even started. A woman with dark hair strolls in and flinches when she sees you sitting there, your new name tumbling from her lips with confusion.

“Hello.” You hope that she’s the instructor, “How are you?”

She looks at you like you grew two heads and forces a smile, “Oh, I’m well, dear. Give me a moment to look outside.”

She clicks to the window in her heels and opens the blinds looking around wildly before she turns back to you.

“Well, nothing’s on fire and there’s a distinct lack of flying pigs, so I guess you’re finally serious about getting better at acting?”

“Uh… I…?” You don’t know how to respond, “I didn’t realize I’d been late so often.”

“Late? Half the time you didn’t even show up. The only person worse than you is-”

The door behind you opens. You clench your hands to stop the shaking you just realized you were struggling with, and turn slightly in your seat to see a willowy young man, tousled lavender hair being haphazardly smoothed by his slender hands.

The instructor snorts, “Speak of the devil. Hello, Mr. Felmier.”

He smiles, but it’s a bit too calculated. When he speaks, his voice is soft, almost artificial, “Ah ha… Good morning, Angie.”

Angie, evidently, rolls her eyes and takes a seat at the front of the room, crossing her long legs, and tilts her head skeptically, “Sure. If a satellite doesn’t crash in this room and kill us all in the middle of class, I’ll be shocked.”

“Mr. Felmier” walks over and smiles at you. It seems even more strained than before, and keeps eye contact with you as he points to the chair next to you, his voice high and sweet, “Mind if I sit here?”

“Oh, of course not. I don’t own that chair, haha!” You joke.

His face twitches, some micro expression that you’re just observant enough to notice, but not to see, and he takes a seat. Angie gets up and leaves and you look out the window. You can feel eyes on you, and when you turn to look at him, his face is impassive save for a slight narrowing of his eyes. You look down at yourself and pat your cheeks, suddenly nervous.

“Oh, no, is there something on me?” You ask.

He doesn’t immediately respond, his eyes blinking so fast that if he hadn’t done it twice you would have never seen the movement, and then he gives you that sweet, plastic smile, “Oh, no. Your makeup is different than usual. It looks nice. Pretty.”

“I- I’m only wearing lipgloss, so I guess that’s why. Thank you.”

He nods slowly, and tilts his head, still smiling as though he’s trained to do so, “After we’re done here, did you want to go get brunch together?”

You’re about to say no. You don’t remember him, because this is not your life you’re living, but if you did know him, you’d decline anyway. Something feels funny about him. You don’t really have to decline, though, since you have to go down to floor 2 and see your agent afterwards anyway, “Oh, uh, I’m so sorry. I have to do something after.”

“I can wait.”

“I don’t want to put you out. Maybe another time?”

His eyebrows pinch together ever so slightly and his smile doesn’t strain, but it feels wrong as he leans his elbow on the back of his chair to better face you, “Did you hear the news from Mirelle?”

“What news?” You don’t know who Mirelle is.

“Oh, you’re meeting with her afterwards, aren’t you?” He smooths the hair along your temple so it is slicked behind your ear, “Are you wearing that perfume I got you? You said you hated it.”

Okay, so whoevers body this was definitely knew this man, and now you don’t even know his full name. Judging from the way he’s speaking to you, you were friends at least. Your lashes flutter and you look away from him.

“I- I’m sorry. It smells very nice.” You don’t know how you’re supposed to be acting. The irony of waiting for an acting class while not knowing what your role here happens to be is not lost on you.

Felmier sits up like you insulted him and his voice is quiet, so quiet and tense that you don’t think you’re supposed to hear him, “Interesting.”

You glance at him again, “What?”

“I didn’t say anything. You like that bagel place down the street, don’t you? After you see Mirelle, meet me in the lobby. I think we should have a chat.” Although he is smiling, his voice doesn’t leave any room for argument as he turns back to the front.

You stand up, leaving your purse in your seat, and walk to the window, looking out of it for a moment until Angie strolls back in. She clicks her tongue and you walk back to your seat.

“It’s just you two? Now I’m really expecting a freak accident. Well, let’s get started.”

Acting class was… interesting. Since it was just the three of you, Angie had you read lines from a script and act out some kind of argument. She seemed pleased with your performance, but Felmier kept stumbling over his lines and making the wrong expression. He seemed tense by the time the two hour long session was over. You didn’t want to follow that thread, and besides, you had somewhere to be. You went down the stairs again and bumped into a woman with silver hair, who looked at you just as confused as everyone else had been, and smiled sweetly, genuinely.

“Hey, you. You’re a bit early.” She says.

“Uh, yeah. I guess so? I don’t know.” You guessed this was supposed to be Mirelle, your agent, maybe.

“It’s a good change, babe. Why don’t you come into my office?” She doesn’t really ask, since she’s already leading you over.

She takes a seat behind her desk and you take a seat in front of her, and she taps away at her computer for a moment before she says something.

“You remember Epel? Epel Felmier?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess so.”

“Oh? You ‘guess so’? Not that the two of you are constantly arguing, or anything.” She smirks, glancing away from her monitor to look at you, “Regardless, I’ve got something that will help with your little PR nightmare last month. What were you thinking?”

“Uh, I’m sorry.”

Her eyes narrow a fraction, but whatever she was thinking is ignored, “You and Epel are gonna be collaborating on an upcoming short film. Hopefully the two of you don’t get into another screaming match.”

“Um. Yeah. Hopefully.” All this new information and these new people are making your head spin. You don’t want to start panicking- you did enough of that last week- but you’re already exhausted. You wonder if there’s a back entrance to this building so you can just sneak out and don’t have to talk to Epel again. You don’t think you can mentally handle him talking to you over a cup of coffee.

Your agent, Mirelle, is looking at you expectantly, like she just said something. Your heart jumps into your throat, then sinks to your gut and you clear your throat quietly, shifting in your chair.

She laughs airily, “Oh, you didn’t hear a word I just said, did you?”

You shake your head, and she laughs again.

“I just said that production starts Monday. Try not to do anything crazy. This project is monumentally important for your public image.”

“Okay. Sorry for causing so much trouble in the past.” You mutter, standing up.

She shrugs with a happy little grin, “Oh, you’re young. Maybe you’ll grow out of it.”

You just nod. How are you supposed to even respond to that? If you get mad, you’ll probably get hysterical, and if you get hysterical, that is a one way ticket to a stay in grippy sock jail or a lobotomy. Rich people are different, and even though you’re living in some rich person’s body, you did not live this life for longer than a week.

You purposely walk to the other staircase. Most buildings have two for fire safety. Your eyes water as you pause on the stairs and you sigh before you start descending them.

Just as you get to the exit, your hand on the door, you hear a voice behind you, “Hey.”

It scares you out of your skin. You jump and spin and squawk, only to meet the wicked smile of Epel. It doesn’t reach his round blue eyes. He tilts his head from side to side, slowly, as if appraising you, and then he starts walking towards you and you push back against the door, opening it ever so slightly. He stops his motion and looks a tad surprised.

Then his eyes narrow, “Come back in.”

His voice sounds different, rougher. You don’t really want to, but it’s hot outside and you figure from all the odd looks and reactions you’ve gotten, running would be too erratic for this poor person’s life you’ve taken over.

When you close the door and remain leaned against it, Epel’s face relaxes. You didn’t even realize he was making any sort of tense expression. He glances at the spandrel, the area beneath the stairs, and sighs.

“You hit your head last week? That why you were missin’?” Yeah, he’s speaking entirely differently. He has a sort of charming country twang to his voice, an underlying roughness that makes him seem even more boyish than before.

“Huh?”

“‘Huh?’” He mocks, looking back at you. He looks like he might cry, but his eyes are angry, “That all you got to say? For years you’ve told me that I don’t mean shit, and now you’re actin’ like you don’t even know me.”

He is right. You don’t know him at all. Even though you’re still in the cool building, you begin to sweat. You don’t know what to say to this without going through the experiences you’ve had in the past week, so you decide you don’t have to, especially since it seems like he may get aggressive if you say the wrong thing.

You lean hard against the aptly named panic bar, turn on your heel once outside, and take off running. It dawns on you a little late that he might be following, or, seven forbid, that he knows where you live, so you take a different route as dictated by your GPS and call your new father as soon as you get in the building.

It’s the middle of the work day, so he obviously doesn’t pick up. You unlock the apartment door and pant breathlessly, leaving a hasty voicemail, “O-oh, great seven- ugh- okay, hi, Dad. I told you I’d call you when I get home, so that’s what I’m doing. Hope I didn’t disrupt a meeting or whatever. Call me back, bye.”

You flop face down on the bed and groan, rolling onto your back as the ringtone that you would never choose goes off. In bold white letters on the screen, it says “Bumpkin Boy” with no other indication of who it might be. You pick up.

The voice on the other end sounds heated, a quiet mocking lilt to it, “Bet you went home, huh?”

Your blood runs cold and your very ability to speak is ripped from your lips.

“S’okay. You don’t have to talk. I could pay you a little visit, see what it’s like to live like a nepo baby for a day, but I think…” He pauses, and when he next speaks you hear the smile in his voice, “I think I’ll just wait for Monday, since you owe me a coffee date, don’t you?”

He hangs up after that. You stand up and double-check that you’ve locked the door before you hide in your closet and try not to start hyperventilating. You can’t even beat yourself up for this one. These circumstances are entirely out of your control.

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pondscummy · 23 days

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the "also sick" comment isn't like "btw I'm SICK, how dare you not know" it's me saying I'm sick like how 2/3 of my roommates are

but like I'm so;;;; it feels so rich that L is like wtf do you want from me about me not replying for 45 minutes when I had to beg his gf over hours and hours of texts every so often to not force me to sit in unwiped shit after my surgery bc she had openly told me she just didn't rly feel like setting up the attachable bidet after telling me for weeks she would, and I never ever got a reply from her or L ever acknowledging that they were wide awake hanging out and laughing while I was like stuck in bed barely able to move begging for follow through on a commitment they made in advance and i eventually had to spend over $100 to hire someone to come out the next day and do it for me and I had to hold my shit for hours lmfao

like L is sooooo great at couching things in flawless tumblr wellness speak but only to talk about how valid they are for not showing up for you and how fucked up it is that you MIGHT ever have a moment where you can't be 100% there w them. like idk what to tell you I've been laying in bed with a sore throat and cough and fever passing out and waking up to roll over in buckets of sweat like the rest of the house. I do genuinely get being annoyed by a lack of response but it's also right back to this whole thing about Always assuming I'm mad at them which is legit one of the only things that actually makes me mad fjdkddhk like bro I do not THINK about you when you're not acting like I'm a bomb about to blow (also, as an aside -- we all take turns buying TP and it's usually me who does it like it's not out of pocket for me to say hey you are the One person who is out of the house already rn, can you get this on your way bc None of the bathrooms have back up rolls and one is totally out and I had to text our sickest roommate telling her to use the bidet and drip dry like.... "am I the first person you asked" yes bc you are the person who makes the most sense dumbfuck. I'm not being "overly needy" toward you or whatever jfc)

they literally told me at one point that the reason they're so scared of me is that my face is "triggering" for them when I'm angry or not feeling good and puts them "back in a really bad place" they have seen my face angry literally 3 times and each time it was on my way back to my room to decompress and each time I said nothing to them other than that I was in a bad mood and I was going to go to my room. I didn't yell either I just said it normal. like I genuinely feel gaslit here like I'm this horrifying monster of a man when it's like dude sometimes people are mad I don't know what YOU want from ME!! I do all my venting here where they can't ever see it even tho we've blocked each other, I censor their name like anyone even knows who they are, I isolate to chill out and it's literally been less than a handful of times like should I fling myself from the roof??????? would that fix it???

I literally know it's bc I'm a man too. none of this was like this until my facial hair came in more and it got crazy worse after I got top surgery and they're so so vocal about how much they despise men and think men should all fuck off and die and there's only a handful of acceptable men that they've personally vetted. despite them pretty clearly having a trans woman fetish bc they only date or look at porn of trans women and they do the whole step on me mommy thing about it even tho their gf has complained like. lmfao you're just a baby te//rf even tho you ID as trans masc yourself. like that's all this even is. I'm a big (5'3") scary (spent the whole weekend w my coworkers asking if I was 12) man who's obviously going to snap and kill you all bc sometimes I *checks writing on hand* get frustrated and go lay down about it

#pond.txt #and again i'm not EVEN mad rn (well. obviously i am *now*) i was SLEEPING like fhekdjdkddjl bro let me live i'm SORRY #should i whip myself should i kiss your feet my lord and savior jc. should i fall upon my sword for you.#is my t dick too big and scary to live together does it cast shadows in the hallways that frighten you HDKSDHKDDHDK #all the time i wish wish wish there was some way for me to move out early without me fucking myself financially #but i'd be on the hook for $11.400 and i do NOT have that to drop dhskddhhfj and i would need to pay that PLUS buy a car #it was so night and day the difference in my mood when i was on my work trip tho. even when i had moments of like feeling down on that trip #it was so fleeting and so like. well I'll do what i need to so i can care for myself #whether that was staying in my room and getting some sleep or rallying and being like hey @ self you're making shit up about no one liking #with no proof so let's get back downstairs and hang out w someone new and prove ourselves wrong.#life felt so bright and happy and it was so easy to talk to strangers and laugh and just let loose and like myself #even on a 13 hr travel day i was like taking notes on mental health things in my journal and reflecting and feeling so positive about makin #changes like not letting excuses stop me from going out and living my life even in this interim period between moves #and then i got back home and was like oh right. this place that makes me miserable with people who openly dislike me. great lmao #my plan is still to try to not let myself get in my own way of living life bc if i can get out & meet people it'll keep me away from here.#ANYWAY!!! *eats cough drops like candy*

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silver-wield · 5 months

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wow, it's been quite late for me but during jan 4? It seems like a twitter has been gettin shit for a shitty ass take he made about tifa and cloud. He's called profnoctis? And honestly? Shame man. He calls himself a theologian or professor? But wth are these bad takes and immoral standards? I swear, they like to act like cloud was tearing up the world from the pain of losing someone he barely even knew and he had a brain defect as well. Like i get its rpg, but ff isn't that kind of rpg. I can't stand anybody preaching they love cloud but really? They only love to self insert themselves in cloud because she has tons of girls who are into him. It's an incel dream.

I also hate HATE how they frame shippers as only shippers when literally we know more about the game than these dudebros who are allergic to the genre of WELL WRITTEN romance. Just because he PERSONALLY sees cloud is available, doesn't mean he has an infatuation to everyone who's into him. Might as well say he feels the same way for jessie or madam M while they're at it. That's like saying cloud only had feelings for tifa "after" because he's fine now like wtf??? What shit ass love story is that??????

Sighhhhhhhhhj you can't call yourself a theory maker wtvr if you don't understand he literally did everything for tifa, name Lockhart is literally based on that. What use would "he had a cRuSh" has in the game other than for incel fantasy. Cloud isn't you, cloud has his feelings, and hell no, it's only for tifa.

I swear saying "he only ever loved tifa" is auto-shipper for them. Like it needs to be both or you're a shipper. Well id rather be a canon shipper with proof than an incel who wants to make up excuses how he's not one. If you don't have proof, your personal opinion is fck all nonsense, just common sense so they shouldn't call it canon.

Plus i saw they gave you shit for it. The original poster, I know that guy, i immediately unfollowed him before when i realized he's just desperate for followers and it shows. Making a thread discussing the girls and not expecting a shipping discussion to arise? Calling you jairus? Lmao FARRRRRRR from it. I hate cleriffs and these " neutral"s aka "we just want both of them idgf " type of mofos.

Jfc, im so sorry for the anger but I can't stand their bullshit. I always thought both these guys are weird for some reason and it shows. God i just feel so bad for cloud. I really fcking do. Not even his fans know him, so much for so called acceptance that he wants when they just "want you/ fave you" when they need to self insert.

Idgaf if they're not real. Their shitty moral standards show what kind of people they are on real life. That's like stating you'll cheer for walter white, despite the fact he's a pos but yeah he's not real . Lmao sure sure they should hide in those mantle of BS because they have nothing to say back that has proof other than " i want nothin of this war" for which they themselves provoked.

It seems that "prof" deleted the tweet. I guess he didn't want others to unfollow him or rightfully correct him on his bullshit. I mean when I say these dudebros just want followers and acting all high and mighty but it's all air anyway. I've seen max say some shit at some point but i hope he stays consistent and not say bs if he says he actually knows the game.

btw, for a theory maker, why can't he see that , that supposed "infatuation" is just jenova all along? And has 0 to do with his real opinions. He's a puppet, who only shows his real self with tifa as toriyama stated. Sigh, ill stop now but I really really hate shit takes. It's been decades, it just makes me want to kill them. I just wish they clarify exactly what cloud's motivation is and why he's even tf alive now (we know why but they don't sigh).

#ship war #for the fandom

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marshmallowprotection · 2 years

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Man, that one ask has reawakened so many childhood memories of being asked out in elementary and middle school so many times and all of em being jokes or dared by their friends (well, except three times in middle school, but they were kinda wack) and they weren't even good jokes either???

Because they'd ask, sometimes mutter under their breath (which was always shit, and you could very much hear em) hoping id say no. And I'd tell them no, cue them saying something along the lines of thank fuck or yes and leavin

Like c'mon, if you're gonna do that at least put some effort into it??? Jfc people, it's just boring and repetitive at that point

I do! Also remember one time I write a "will u date me" note to fuck with one of the boys in class, copied in one of the "popular girls" handwriting and handed it to one of the boys, told em it was from the popular girl, and left

It was funny to me at the time and it still is djsbsjsb

0/10 Stars. It's not funny nor is it okay to do this. I don't care how old you are. Someone has to sit you down and explain why this isn't any kind of joke to be made if you're a child, and if you're an adult in this situation, you damn well know better than to do that sort of thing. It's okay that you can laugh about it now and have made peace with it in some regard, but it's okay to say that it still hurts sometimes. This is cruel and traumatic. Don't make a joke out of asking someone out by any means.

It sticks with you years after and that's a fact given I remember these moments clearly and so many Anons admit to the same. It's just not funny and it will never be funny. I just hope that everyone can come to realize their worth as they get older and see that the world should have never done that to them. If nothing else, I'm here to say that no follower of mine should ever doubt the RFA's love for them. I will say it over and over until my lungs burn hot, the found family, the RFA is always going to be there.

They will love you and support you as you learn how to love yourself. You will find a life worth living soon, don't give up on yourself when it can always become brighter tomorrow. You never know. Give yourself a chance regardless of what that means for you.

#tw insecurity #mod kait #thy spicy

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initiumseries · 1 year

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RIGHT?! the only logical solution for Hayley was to have an abortion and yeah it makes sense that the reason they don't bring it up at all is bc of social conservatism, i honestly kind of assumed it was their personal politics.

Coco in dear white people had an abortion (makes sense bc id assume most of their viewers would be leftists/liberals anyway) and I feel like it was done well, one of the moms on Workin Moms also considered an abortion but i don't remember if she went through with it. I've heard they only introduced the pregnancy plotline on TVD bc Candice was pregnant but other tv shows have handled something like this so much better and i feel like julie has some obsession with pregnancy bc it wasn't a one off thing, like really how many miracle supernatural babies can we even have 🙄

Im honestly kinda glad i wasn't allowed to watch TVD as a teen when it was airing lol bc my god the way they treat their female characters is atrocious.

Ah makes sense, I couldn't stand dear white people so I didn't watch it, and I'm always distrustful of shows that put the dark skin female character through things like this (not saying that ds BW should never have abortions, what I'm saying is that abortion is usually framed as awful/harmful, and so, when the only time we see women actually having abortions, they're ds bw and usually framed as a punishment for slutty behaviour anyway, my side eye comes out), particularly when it isn't mainstream to see women making informed decisions about their body particularly surrounding pregnancy.

And like, introducing a pregnancy plotline for your character because she's pregnant has been done before, but Caroline is a vampire. So it's already INCREDIBLY stupid she's pregnant in the first place. Hide her behind a fucking comforter and boxes like everyone else lmao jfc. Tbh, I read the supernatural baby thing as 2 things: a deeply uncreative writer, and someone looking for a spin off.

Lol, the show actually wasn't terrible s1-3 when Julie didn't have control yet. It wasn't perfect, and still had some sloppiness, but there were stakes, and people stayed dead lol. But the rest was...increasingly awful. It felt like watching a poor man's days of our lives. Awful awful. And yeah, they definitely have a misogyny problem, but so many shows do, it's like...*sigh*, now I have to decide, what can I tolerate lol. And I just don't think you get to be horrible writers AND misogynist AND racist? Pick a struggle? So glad it's over lol.

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minthe-lover · 2 years

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Rachel saying Hestia, a closeted lesbian, “groomed” her into joining the Maidens but Hades is just so caring and “true love” to her as he smothers her in expensive gifts, controls her finances, cuts her off from her friends and family, controlled what she did in the Underworld and even bossed her around during her Trial, and refuses to be honest with her when she asks or even listen to her to instead do whatever HE wants, ISNT grooming? Rachel just stop talking. Stop talking right now. Especially when there’s such a big panic to call LGBT+ people “groomers” to young kids and teens, JFC.

Yeah... like honestly how story defines grooming is so weird. Like how dare this parent try to get their child into a a clearly great organization, which would also protect them from the in universe problems with the fertility goddess!

Oh this old ass man wants to have sex with a women he just met, and repeatedly says how 'young' she is and how much that interests him. repeatedly gives her gifts, is her boss, pays her money even tho interns shouldn't get paid, starts her freaken bank account?? which makes no sense, cause for some reason she has no form of id??? like does she not have an employee id at least?? would that not have worked at the company she literally works at!?!? and like.. does she not have like a passport she could use, she is constantly going from Olympus and the underworld, and it has been shown that you need a passport to do that... so why does Persephone doesn't have that?

#anti lo #lo critical

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pesterloglog · 4 months

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Roxy Lalonde, Dave Strider, Kanaya Maryam, Karkat Vantas

Page 43

ROXY: mm hm

ROXY: mhmm

ROXY: ...

ROXY: yep

ROXY: ...

ROXY: oh yeah

ROXY: for sure

ROXY: you too jake

ROXY: thanks man

ROXY: yeah well let u know what were gonna do

ROXY: later

ROXY: poor guy

DAVE: whatd he say

ROXY: a lot of it was hard to make out due to all the sobbing

ROXY: but yeah its like we thought

ROXY: dirk borrowed one of his ships and gtfo

KANAYA: But Did He Say WHERE

ROXY: nope

ROXY: doubt he told anybody tbh

ROXY: in fact id say odds are even he doesnt quite know where hes goin yet

DAVE: why do you think that

ROXY: idk i just know the guy

ROXY: also like

ROXY: whats even out there??

ROXY: dudes got a ship and now hes haulin ass randomly about w rose to i dunno

ROXY: prove some sort of point?

KANAYA: What About Jane

KARKAT: WE AREN’T CALLING JANE!

KANAYA: Why Not

KARKAT: BECAUSE I WOULDN’T BELIEVE A SINGLE WORD THAT COMES OUT OF HER FAT, FASCIST MOUTH!

KANAYA: Thats Stupid Im Calling Her

KANAYA: I Dislike The Woman As Well But I Will Leave No Possibility Unexhausted In Striving To Rescue My Wife From That Madman

DAVE: so uhhh

DAVE: phewww...

DAVE: rose and dirk huh

ROXY: YUP

DAVE: rose and fuckin dirk...

DAVE: damn

DAVE: so are they

DAVE: like

DAVE: man im never gonna hear the end of it if im the one to ask this question am i

DAVE: ive had too many fuckin goofy dumbass foot in mouth family blunders to be the guy asking this fuckin question

DAVE: and yet here i am

DAVE: asking it

ROXY: ????

ROXY: what r u talkin about

DAVE: you know...

DAVE: are they like

DAVE: TOGETHER?

ROXY: what????

DAVE: you know

DAVE: like

KARKAT: WHAT THIS DUMBASS IS ASKING IS IF THEY’RE DOING HUMAN INTERCOURSE ACTIVITIES.

ROXY: oh my god??

DAVE: karkat

DAVE: please

ROXY: omg...

ROXY: karkat theyre related

ROXY: humans dont do that when theyre related to each other ok

KARKAT: DON’T TALK DOWN TO ME. I’M NOT A FUCKING WRIGGLER.

KARKAT: I’M FAMILIAR WITH YOUR CONCEPT OF “HUMAN INCEST.”

ROXY: !!!

DAVE: yeah ok not to be that guy even though im totally being that guy

DAVE: if it never happened we wouldnt have a word for it

ROXY: i rly dont think...

ROXY: i mean

ROXY: they WOULDNT

ROXY: theres no way. it makes no sense

ROXY: for one... dirk is gay

ROXY: and isnt rose gay too???

DAVE: yeah idk if anybody knows what roses deal is exactly

DAVE: of all of us who couldve ended up eloping to have illicit incestuous relations they definitely wouldve been the last two idve put my money on

DAVE: and yet

DAVE: it sure is real fuckin weird what they seem to have gone off and done isnt it

ROXY: uggghhhh

ROXY: dont even say that

ROXY: just thinkin about it makes my skin crawl

KARKAT: YOU GUYS ARE SO FUCKING WEIRD ABOUT THIS.

KARKAT: LIKE, SERIOUSLY? THAT’S THE ISSUE HERE?

KARKAT: THE SHITHEAD WENT AND STOLE KANAYA’S MATESPRIT, APPARENTLY BY MYSTICALLY UNDERHANDED MEANS.

KARKAT: THERE’S PRACTICALLY NO LIMIT TO THE DIMENSIONS WE COULD BE GETTING ANGRY ABOUT THIS ON.

KARKAT: BUT HERE WE ARE INSTEAD, DOING THIS POINTLESS THING YOU PEOPLE ALWAYS DO WHEN IT COMES TO “INCEST.”

DAVE: us people??

KARKAT: I KNOW, I KNOW! I’M A FUCKING XENOPHOBE! LET’S JUST ALL AGREE I’M A BIG SHITTY XENOPHOBE ABOUT THIS, AND MOVE ON.

ROXY: jfc

ROXY: HAY KANAYA HOWS THAT PHONE CALL GOIN

KANAYA: Janes Chief Of Staff Has Put Me On Hold

KANAYA: It Seems My Solicitation Does Not Register As A Priority In This Administration

KANAYA: I Cannot Say I Am Surprised

KARKAT: TELL HER TO REGISTER MY HEAVING BULGE AS A PRIORITY!!!!!

KANAYA: I Will Not Tell Her That

KARKAT: ANYWAY, YOU GUYS ARE ALL SO FUCKED UP ABOUT THIS, THAT’S ALL I’M SAYING.

KARKAT: THIS IS OBJECTIVELY NOT THE WORST THING ABOUT THIS SCENARIO. IT’S NOT EVEN A REMOTELY NOTABLE FACTOR!

KARKAT: WHY ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT THIS? IT’S SO FUCKING PERFORMATIVE.

KARKAT: IS THERE SOMETHING YOU’RE TRYING TO PROVE BY CONSTANTLY COMPETING TO BE THE MOST SCANDALIZED BY YOUR OWN COMPLETELY ARBITRARY SOCIAL CONSTRUCTS???

ROXY: yo dogs i know we get up to some jank barrelbottom as fuck convos sometimes but this one..... I D even K anymore

ROXY: i know yr an alien and all but in these dire straits can we maybe not “riff” on the subject of fuckin incest

ROXY: fwiw the shit really does bug the hell outta me

ROXY: if i can confirm on behalf of my species that yeah the idea kinda sucks according to pretty much literally everybody could we agree to stop talkin about it

KARKAT: SEE, THIS IS WHAT I’M FUCKING TALKING ABOUT!

KARKAT: YOU GREW UP ONE OF TWO HUMANS ON YOUR ENTIRE PLANET. WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU GET ANY FRAME OF REFERENCE FOR THIS SHIT!?!

KARKAT: ADMIT IT. YOU ONLY PRETEND TO BE BOTHERED BY THIS BECAUSE YOUR HUMAN SOCIETY TELLS YOU THAT YOUR PERFORMANCE OF DISGUST IS VIRTUOUS.

ROXY: ummmmmmmmmmmmm

ROXY: lmao

ROXY: dude

ROXY: no

KARKAT: ALSO, EXCUSE ME, BUT CAN I JUST FUCKING ASK...

KARKAT: SINCE WHEN DID YOU START COSPLAYING AS DAVE??

DAVE: dude

KARKAT: WHAT?

ROXY: lol

DAVE: do you even fucking know anything

DAVE: youre a ham brained bonerstooge who doesnt know anything arent you

DAVE: im very sorry roxy that my ham brained bonerstooge of a boyfriend doesnt know fuck all about jack dick

ROXY: its ok hes like

ROXY: fuckin right

ROXY: i get mistaken for u like... well its been happening

ROXY: i shoulda known lmao

ROXY: i really thought all the pink im wearin would help with that

ROXY: idk ill keep messin with it

DAVE: no you look great

DAVE: like super duper duper great

DAVE: just perfect like i could not possibly be more proud of your fashion choices

KARKAT: CHRIST.

KARKAT: DAVE, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU’RE ABOUT TO KISS YOUR MOTHER JUST TO “PROVE ME WRONG”!

ROXY: !!

DAVE: first of all

DAVE: roxys not my “mother” anymore hes

DAVE: wait

DAVE: roxy did we actually decide on the protocol on what im supposed to call you

DAVE: i literally have no comprehension of the etiquette here

DAVE: because youre technically my bio mom but its not as if i literally came out of your vagina or anything

DAVE: and like

DAVE: well considering whats going down right now im not too attached to the sanctity of dirk being my dad

DAVE: you can formally replace him as my daddy right now if you want

ROXY: ummmmmmmmmm

KARKAT: WOW! THE WOKEMASTER IS ON FUCKING FIRE FOLKS! HE’LL BE HERE ALL NIGHT!!!

DAVE: oh stfu

DAVE: what is your problem why are you acting like this

KARKAT: ACTING LIKE WHAT????

DAVE: like a huge belligerent dickhead

DAVE: are you craving attention is that it

DAVE: did i get you hooked

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

DAVE: i see how it is

DAVE: you got one hot hit of sincerity from your fresh boy dave and now youre itching in your pants every second you go without it

DAVE: you know if you want to hold my hand or some shit you can just do it now

KARKAT: I HAVE NO DESIRE TO DO THAT. AT ALL.

DAVE: come on our relationship doesnt have to be a ludicrous unending performance of emotional constipation anymore

DAVE: we got character developed bitch

DAVE: cmere

KARKAT: ??? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? GET AWAY FROM ME!

DAVE: no

DAVE: christ youre like a flighty little muskrat stop squirming

KARKAT: GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME YOU SMELLY BAG OF SHIT! I HATE YOU!

DAVE: no way no you dont

DAVE: you looooooooove me

DAVE: were gonna be together foorreeevveeerrr

KARKAT: OH MY GOD, SHUT THE FUCK UP!

DAVE: and im gonna profess my undying love to you in the form of a kiiiiiiiiiiiissss

KARKAT: NOOO!!!!

ROXY: awwwwwww

ROXY: u boys cute :)

DAVE: hey can you just forget you saw that thanks

ROXY: hehe

ROXY: thank u

DAVE: for what

ROXY: for doin somethin that turned that steaming dogshit fire of an incest conversation into somethin that just made me feel v v happy

ROXY: if only for a fleetin moment in these dark AF times

KARKAT: DON’T MENTION IT

KANAYA: If Jane Is To Be Trusted Apparently She Didnt Even Know Dirk Was Gone

KANAYA: She Doesnt Know Where He Might Be Headed Either

KANAYA: Or She Wont Tell Us

DAVE: well shit

KARKAT: I’M SO FUCKING SURPRISED.

KARKAT: ALRIGHT, THEN WHAT DO WE DO?

KANAYA: I Dont Know

ROXY: hey does anyone know where the hell john is

DAVE: oh yeah

DAVE: good question

KARKAT: WASN’T HE ON SOME “MISSION”?

KARKAT: WHATEVER HAPPENED WITH THAT

DAVE: that was a rose thing

DAVE: she was cagey as fuck about it

DAVE: and now shes gone so we cant even ask her

DAVE: so uh

DAVE: damn

KARKAT: HE’S NOT ANSWERING HIS PHONE.

ROXY: yea ive tried too

DAVE: oh yeah i forgot

DAVE: john would solve our whole problem wouldnt he

DAVE: just zap us all right into dirks ship with his retcon powers

DAVE: thats how that works right

ROXY: maybe???

ROXY: i think he should be here regardless and catch up with the situation

ROXY: gettin kinda worried about him

KARKAT: YEAH.

ROXY: i ran into terezi the other day and she hadnt seen him either

DAVE: oh shit terezis back?

KARKAT: WHAT??

ROXY: o yeah

ROXY: i didnt mention cause

ROXY: guess i just thought u knew?

ROXY: i assumed she woulda got in touch

DAVE: nope

KARKAT: NOBODY EVER FUCKING TELLS US ANYTHING!

KARKAT: IT SEEMS LIKE KIND OF A GIGANTIC FUCKING DEAL THAT TEREZI CAME BACK TO EARTH???

DAVE: kanaya did you know about this

KANAYA: Yes

KANAYA: I Also Assumed You Knew

ROXY: im givin her a call to see if she knows anything about all this

ROXY: aaaaand shes not pickin up either :\

DAVE: what the fuck is even going on anymore

KARKAT: UM

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK IS JADE DOING?

DAVE: huh

KARKAT: THAT’S CREEPY RIGHT?

KARKAT: TELL ME I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THAT’S CREEPY.

ROXY: yeh its a bit spooky

ROXY: thats how it is when she gets like this

KANAYA: What Is She Pointing At

DAVE: oh oh

DAVE: i think i know whats up

DAVE: shes tryin to say theres something important over that way

DAVE: is that right jade

DAVE: can you hear me??

DAVE: jade is it john?

DAVE: johns that way right

DAVE: you want us to go in that direction to find john

DAVE: is that it jade?

DAVE: come on

DAVE: what is it girl tell me

ROXY: omg dave

ROXY: youre treating her like a dog!

DAVE: ok yeah youre right

DAVE: i guess i fuckin suck

DAVE: but she IS a dog ok?

DAVE: a doggy girl whos trying to tell us something

DAVE: just lemme do my thing here

ROXY: .....

DAVE: jade give me a little yelp if johns that way and we should go after him

DAVE: just a little woof

DAVE: if johns in danger yiff twice plz

ROXY: DAVE!

DAVE: shhhhhh!

DAVE: maybe its not john that way maybe its...

DAVE: jade is it...

DAVE: is that where DIRK went?

DAVE: THATS IT

DAVE: thats the way dirk went and she wants us to follow

DAVE: ok wow

DAVE: but what about john

DAVE: is john safe?

DAVE: is john...

DAVE: does he have anything to do with whats going on?

DAVE: what about terezi?

DAVE: is like

DAVE: is john WITH them?

DAVE: jade is john on the ship with dirk and rose??

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK DID THAT MEAN.

DAVE: it means...

DAVE: i think it means im right

DAVE: dont ask me how i know

DAVE: but i think i got the answers out of her we need

DAVE: dirk and rose are on a ship heading that way

DAVE: and for some fucking reason johns along for the ride

DAVE: we need to saddle the fuck up

DAVE: and wherever we go i think were going to need to bring jade along

KARKAT: RIGHT!

KARKAT: KANAYA, GET JAKE ENGLISH ON THE PHONE.

KANAYA: Okay

KANAYA: Why

KARKAT: BECAUSE WE NEED TO BORROW ONE OF HIS SHIPS.

KARKAT: WE’RE GOING TO GET YOUR *FUCKING WIFE* BACK.

#homestuck #homestuck epilogues #roxy lalonde #dave strider #kanaya maryam #karkat vantas #meat epilogue #page 43

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bates--boy · 1 year

Text

[Mike] Yo Pete!

[Peter] wazzuuuuup? 😝

[Mike] Man, don’t do that

[Mike] Anyways, you free this Friday?

[Mike] Cuz I was wondering if you’d like to come with me to a wedding.

[Peter] awwww, really? id love to!

[Peter] whos getting married?

[Mike] My baby brother.

[Peter] is there a registry? or do i bring a surprise gift?

[Peter] wait, dont u want to ask sheer first?

[Peter] im sure she’d like to come instead of me

[Mike] Yeah. Thing is that my family,

[Mike] well,

[Mike] the whole community sorta hates her

[Peter] jfc really??

[Peter] why???

[Mike] Becoming agnostic. Fucking out of wedlock. Marrying a Black dude.

[Mike] Take your pick

[Peter] holy shit

[Mike] Yeah. A lot of them hate me, too. But my bro still loves me and needs me

[Mike] So I’m still going

[Mike] You still wanna come?

[Peter] ofc!

[Peter] Do I have to wear anything special? Like a burqa?

[Mike] What?

[Mike] You mean a Thawb.

[Mike] And no. Just your finest suit. And don’t tell Sheer I told you all of that.

[Mike] She’ll be pissed at me, I think.

#The MizFists #Mike/Mickey IV #washed ashore ( queue )

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blkgrlangst · 1 year

Text

My ID is Gangnam Beauty Ep. 3 reactions:

yes Mirae BEAT HIS ASS

The TA kinda extremely fine wait 😏

okay i was tired of the girlies not standing up for themselves but we’re getting somewhere

wait- writing down my reactions helps me remember they names better

NOT SUA LYING ABOUT WHERE SHE LIVES

her psychology major friend is a real one

WHO ARE THESE RANDOS DANCING

Ye-na i’m gon need you to stop worrying about the bad bitches and more about why you’re obsessed over men who want nothin to do with you 😗

Sua if you’re gonna be a snake you need to keep up with the act that’s 101

i will say the girlies are serving looks but that’s coming from an American perspective we just go to school with trash bags on compared to other places

if this turns into an anti-plastic surgery take…ion know…society has to change first before y’all come for wmn who get it…

i’ve heard about this seniority problem in SK universities…where are the professors at this point like 😭 chanwoo actin like this military school

all the boys that left are cowards…HES ACTUALLY INSANE WHAT WHY DID HE SLAP HIS FRIEND

Kyung-seok feminist icon 🤩

her Dad dumb as fuck he know damn well she would’ve had a rough time w/o surgery especially the way society is built be so serious-

they better apologize how are you just going to stand there when a short man is acting up never in my life- 👀

Sua for the love of God stop with the bullshit 🥱

WAIT THE TA IS A REAL ONE

these people are nosey 🙄🙄🙄 who cares if they went to the same middle school

chile i could never be a science major jfc teenagers should not be in a lab at all😭

SUA IS SUCH A CLOWN ARE YOU SERIOUS

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hematomes · 2 years

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how dare u insult me /j we’ll have to settle this with a duel /hj

YEAH NO THE THREE STARS ARE V USABLE ASIDE FROM BASE ATTACK?? points at skyrider which has an er stat and had been carrying since pre-sac sword tbh

FINALLY SOMEONE AGREES WITH ME LIKE. SHE DOES NOT HAVE A PERSONALITY OKAY . she could’ve been so strong and amazing BUT NO. like if i ever read fairy tail fanfic at some point im gonna find one where lucy gets to be an actual person bc jfc i despise her in canon. and i ALSO HATED THAT SHIP BC JUST?? LIKE SHE HAS NOTHING TO ADD BC OF HOW BLAND SHE IS JFC And ur right lisanna is pretty <3

speaking of fairy tail i was thinking of writing my theory ending into existence but in a genshin thing bc. it’s too painful to waste and kaeya might be a good fit for the story line, lore-wise . hmm

HELP AJSJDJD PLS i don’t want sukuna anywhere near me i. i don’t have ur tendencies dear /lh

I LOVED THAT SO MUCH AJSJDJD mechamaru and panda’s fight also i. ugh :( <3 AND YES MIWA VS MAKI WAS SO GOOD? and the . listen the bonds the female characters have. im gonna cry. also maki and mai. FUCK THAT HIT ME WAY TOO HARD. LIKE I JUST. sobs. i cannot articulate like,, that reached into my guts and just twisted,, i. dies

MEI EXISTS AND SUDDENLY IM DYING. UTAHIME EXISTS AND IM SUDDENLY DEAD.

pls ur skrunkly coward man

ah that’s fair the hype around him did make me go. ??? bc like he’s neat but? i?? nanami tho. NANAMI CAN HAVE MY ENTIRE HEART I LOVE HIM DEEPLY

i just have to throw milk at u and you'll shrivel up and die. that's how lactose intolerant people react i think

ZBDJZ I HAVE THE SKYRIDER AND YES... i need to give it to aether bc he would benefit more from er than crit rn. yum

EXACTLYYYY SHE'S JUST... here i guess. and it's infuriating bc she's so important to the story, especially at the beginning + with the whole dark guilds and shit. yet???? she gives us nothing. just an aftertaste of complete void

zbdja hara why do u like hurting so much . /j

PLS SUKUNA IS SO... he's one of the very few ppl who make me go "am i truly ace" . yells he's just so hot and completely insane and would treat me like utter garbage but whatever. THO CHOSO. WOULD BE NICE I THINK. he's actually... mh <33 and he's so pretty. he looks like a pathetic wet dog. would give him shelter on a rainy night. would also give him my entire being

MECHAMARU'S ENTIRE CHARACTER IS...!!!!!! AAAA I WANT TO. GIVE HIM A HEALTHY BODY. he just wants to go on a date with miwa ok yes they should. they need to go on a date. i. please it's the only thing that could cure my depression

ZBDJZ OMG YEA MAKI AND MAI I DIDNT EVEN THINK OF HOW IT'S AFFECT U.... i rewatched the anime a few days ago and i had forgotten abt. how mai was feeling when maki left the clan like... my heart

mei. mei could do anything id be like <333 she's just being silly <33 she could rip someone's arm off and id cheer in the background like go girl!!!! im right behind!!! supporting women's rights but more importantly women's wrongs. same w utahime but with a side of me barking /j

EXACTLY LIKE... ok, he's cool, but please chill... even the author hates him ZBSJ HE KEEPS SAYING IT AND IT'S SO FUNNY gege my beloved . what did u expect. nanami is such a good character and... idk if u know... but his jp voice... is also dainsleif's...... <333 kenjiro tsuda, carrying the entire "tired dad/tortured pathetic guy" aesthetic

#♡.— hara #long post

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