#well i really kind of love everything

[jiyoos]

started watching my hero academia with my husband and well. idk how the manga or anime goes but i am very much enjoying it and midoriya is like the best main character ever. i love that guy so much. wtf. he’s like a little green sonic the hedgehog. but with a sweet personality and way cuter. i want to put him in my pocket. but i know he is strong and don’t need to be in there ): but wtf!!!!!! midoriya 💓

#jtext #i think i am on episode 50 or smth #i also really like all the characters and that #they all kind of get their moment to express their ideals #well i really kind of love everything #but yeah midoriya rent free in my head stay forever

[commsroom]

the u.s.s. horrible unending nightmare 💥 (once again from the incredible @hehearse)

#wolf 359 #w359 #doug eiffel #hera wolf 359 #hera w359 #art #id in alt text #i've been holding onto this one for a little while. for no particular reason i just wanted to. #but here it is #thank you so so much!! #incredible eye for detail as always and i'm obsessed with how you draw people. and also. everything #this is such a good eiffel. the circle kind of suggesting a helmet worked out so well. the way you did the star!! the glitch effects!! #the use of an actual sound clip and the heart monitor through it and all of it through his chest. genius to me. #and this ended up leaning more in the direction of eiffel's general repeated misfortune but i also really love the element of #eiffel and hera both being prisoners treated as test subjects. i like how it can read as much like him being pulled away as falling. #and with the soundwave and communication as a bridge and that specific clip from mayday and hera being the voice in his head that saves him #etc. etc. i love it thank you so much again!! <3

[elation-station]

the town bisexuals are at your door it is time for you to pick a bride

#ngl lads i am not happy with this one lmfao #been going thru it so just a doodle #anyway so these are just design ideas #penny is this mousey little woman i see as actually kinda tallish but the kind of tall person who does everything to not appear so #maru is just hot tbh she my engineer wife #really tried something with her face and hope it doesnt look horrible #leah is tall as well and you know shes ripped under that shirt #she'll carry you over the threshold and paint your ceiling like the sistine chapel and dedicate it to you #i am not happyy with how haley came ouuttt she deserves better #like i couldve drawn her beautiful hair good but instead i just didnt. whatver #emily still the love of my life its been established #i cant see abigail as a romantic option ngl i perceive her as an impish quasi teenager who likes getting in trouble #i would be her parent figure and give her life advice and bring her to the mines to fight monsters together #anyway peace #sdv #stardew valley #abigail sdv #emily sdv #haley sdv #leah sdv #maru sdv #penny sdv #stardew valley bachelorettes #art by op

[sadlittlepunk]

an older authority figure talks to me like a kind parent once and I'm already kicking my feet, crying myself to sleep and spending days and nights trying to figure out how to make them proud

#context: I've been searching for an internship and the boss of a company was really kind on the telephone #and now I desperately need him to adopt me #does this count as teacher crush? #I mean he will be kind of a teacher to me in some way if everything goes well #pray for me please #teacher crush #teacher attachment #teacher love #male teacher crush #male tc #teacher crush community #teacher x student

[lunarharp]

pretty & cute witch men

#witch hat tag #orufrey #i'm not drawing as much or as well as i'd like to be doing. i'm trying to get through a comic i've been really wanting to do #but i'm just finding it so hard. disheartening. btw the 2nd one relates to some official art of qif wearing a dress like the girls #and the 4th one relates to how i've been drawing EXTREMELY SMALL for years. idk how to explain it but i always clicked 'fit to screen' #and so all my art EVER has looked bad when you zoom in bc it's already like size 1 zoomed in to the MAX pfhgguguhfpfhGHAHHHHH #i was so confused allll this time why brushes always look different for me than what they're supposed to #'wow this brush is so jaggedy..really rather jaggedy...calling it the Jagged Cai Special..bringing it out for those jaggedy moments.. #really quite jaggedy i must say...' and it's literally not jaggedy #but now i have to get used to how all those brushes that i'd gotten used to indeed look how they're supposed to finally. Alarming #I have simply been working out absolutely everything by myself for years and that's why my technical progress is slow #ppl say my progress is fast and i certainly have improved much since i began doing all this but #like..it took me a year and half to start using a program where i could Colour In The Lines aka the..whatever it's called. whatever.. #just on my lonely confused solemn journey to express gay love better than yesterday.. -_- *picks up my pack n continues through the snow* #btw thank you sm for people's kind words enjoying my narumitsu art & fic over the christmas & new year period <3

[scarycranegame]

thinking about. transfems. and trans girls. and how cool they are.. literally if you're a tgirl or girl-adjacent transgender person i want you to know that. you are so wonderful and beautiful and kind and talented.. we need you on this site now more than ever, and im so sorry about literally everything that's happened here. none of you deserve to be treated like this; you deserve so much better, and i'm sincerely hoping that other people (especially people with power to instate significant change that affects a lot of people) will understand this and work towards making this a safer platform for all of you. please don't let anything that's happening right now on this literal hellsite make you think that you're any less than amazing; i love all of you so so so much <333 please stay safe out there!!!

#not fandom #let's get serious #transgender #trans #trans positivity #trans rights are human rights #transfem #trans girl #trans women #trans pride #literally whenever i find something new that i love so so much and i look at who made it #its always a trans girl. always #how are you all so awesome at literally everything #also this includes nonbinary transfems!!! that should go without saying #everyone whos transgender and feminine in any way at all. i love you so so so much <333 forever and always #fuck photomatt this will always be the trans people website #on that note seeing so many people posting transition pics in light of this incident is. really inspiring to me #it gives me hope that someday i'll look the way i want to as well #just... i love trans girls. it cant be put into words how much hope you all give me just from existing and surviving #please keep doing it. please keep existing and surviving #its so so so important that you live #please remember that #sorry if this post is kind of incoherent my brain is. mush. because im thinking about how cool trans girls are #scary crane rambles

[mamawasatesttube]

just thinking out loud here but i feel like a lot of popular perception of kon esp in online fandom spaces is colored by his joie de vivre and all the times he's silly and goofy. which i do of course adore!! i love when he's silly and goofy. but comparing that perception to, that of like, clark or kara, i feel like kon gets shunted into the box of "dumb comic relief character" a lot more easily. lots of factors probably contribute to that (sb94 having a bad rep, while no other kon comic really goes into a lot of his tragedy; conflation with the side of the fandom that doesn't read comics; the fact that comparatively postcrisis kara doesn't have a team the way kon has yj and clark is seen as a more capable adult, so other characters in the jl get the "dumb comic relief" short end of the stick more often; etc) ...

... but what really gets me about him is that he does embody a lot of the same traits as the rest of the kryptonian superfam. he's so extremely kind. he's got that same noble heart as the rest of them; he cares about everyone and he wants to protect everyone. and he's so, so lonely. he struggles between cultures and worlds where he feels like he doesn't belong to either. he is so strong and capable and holds so much power that it scares him.

cradles him gently in my hands. he contains multitudes... come closer don't you want to love him 🥺

#rimi talks #i'm mostly drawing parallels here between kon clark and kara: #the almost divine loneliness. the struggle to fit in. the kindness and deep deep love and desire to help others. #ofc that isn't getting into Every member of the superfam like linda or kenan or anyone else bc that would be a MUCH bigger post #but i'm mostly picking these 3 bc. well i'm a postcrisis girlie first of all. and also theyre the 3 i think fandom acknowledges most? #at least in my perception of it! (now whether fandom acknowledges them in accurate ways. well no bc nobody knows kara past the basics. but. #(that's a whole other post. this one's about how kon DOES in fact also share the loneliness and noble heart and everything with them. augh) #kon #i was really tempted to go pull panels from rots/sb94/etc to illustrate each point (loneliness nobility kindness etc) but #im SUPPOSED to be writing fic right now. theres a dick on that page that aint gonna suck itself #so back to the writing mines with me. but i was just thinking about kon. (i know. shocking) #also i had to go hunting for the 🥺 emoji bc my recents are entirely filled with fish lately. fjhdskjfh #anywhoozies. mines. farewell

[nullbutler]

something something identity something something culture

#jumblr #jewblr #i dunno if this is the kind of thing that really belongs on my silly blog but ive been wanting to draw it for two days #this is just about feeling connection to culture #and i dunno i know the whole 'is judaism considered a race' thing is iffy as all hell #because it IS an ethnic group and i see it in basically every bloodline person ive met #there is a familiar look #our grandparents and babies look the exact same #of course converts are lovely and welcome and i'm not gatekeeping #but so long of just being like 'who am i? ah. i am nobody #i am a white girl from california who knows nothing of nothing' is a drastic understatement #i've dealt with anti semitism since i was a child #it has been everywhere #not many people understand it because its just...well we dont look that different (to the people who matter) (bad people can tell right awa #the immeasurable trauma of the holocaust and the weight of our grandparents and everything else is just so crushing...AND we look caucasian #is there no fate worse??? lmao #not saying i'm not caucasian of course i think two things can be true at once #but i think meeting someone and realizing we have the same face and with it faced the same hardship is really really meaningful #because to just say i'm some 'stupid white girl from california' is a butchering undercut of everything i actually am

[moongothic]

You know we all meme about how Luffy doesn't give a shit about his parents/Dragon, how he seemingly has no interest in learning about the man or meeting him at all, and like yeah that is a Luffyism

And for a long time I figured Baby Luffy would be the same too; that Luffy in his naïvete just accepted he must've spawned from the ocean itself into Garp's care or something, not realizing he should in fact have parents, thus Luffy's seeming disinterest in them

But you know what

Luffy did spend most of his early childhood alone

Sure, he had Garp, but it seems like Garp wasn't always there to look after him every day, he had his duties as a Marine too. Had Garp been there 24/7 all year then Garp would never have allowed Luffy to interact with Shanks (a filthy pirate) to begin with. So yes, Luffy had his grandpa, but not all the time. And sure, Luffy also had Shanks, but Shanks didn't spend all his time in Fuusha Village either, he came and went whenever he pleased too until his final departure when Luffy was just six years old. And yes, there was everyone else in the village too, people who cared about Luffy and were helping look after him. But Luffy's early childhood was one without a stable family.

It wasn't until Garp yeeted the child into Dadan's care that Luffy actually gained a proper family, where after months and months of trying Luffy managed to win Ace's trust and gained Sabo as a brother too. But as we know, by that point Luffy already hated being alone

All of this to say; Luffy growing up essentially orphaned would explain why he's so afraid to be alone, the way he clings onto people

In some ways Luffy's POV is meant to be the reader's POV, to some degree Luffy's feelings and thoughts are meant to be how we the readers feel and think about whaveter is happening in the story. Not a 100% by any means, but somewhat at the very least.

Perhaps Luffy's lack of interest in Dragon isn't just "Luffy not giving a damn about blood family because chosen families are better" nor "Luffy is too stupid to understand where babies come from". Perhaps Luffy, who may have assumed he didn't have parents at all (as in "might've assumed they were dead or had intentionally abandoned him"), doesn't know what to think about the fact that he does have a father out there, one whom he has never as much as met. Because yeah, Luffy doesn't know why Dragon left him with Garp, why he never got to be with his dad. Should he be angry at Dragon, hate him for being left alone? Or did Dragon have a good reason for it, does Dragon wish things could've been different?

Perhaps Luffy's seeming disinterest in Dragon isn't because he doesn't care about blood family, but because much like us the readers, Luffy doesn't quite know what to make of Dragon, and figuring those feelings out hasn't been relevant to the plot yet.

#Moon posting #OP Meta #IDK I see people often kind of just. Overly simplify (/dumbify) One Piece's themes about family into just like #''To hell with blood relatives! Chosen family is literally all that matters! Blood relatives can eat shit!'' #And it just. Feels like such a shame because One Piece's themes around family are so much more complex than that #Yes! Chosen/adopted families are just as much families as ones tied with blood! A family isn't more real just because it's tied with blood! #Sometimes your relatives suck ass! You don't have to considder them ''family'' at all! #And sometimes your family does Questionable Things but with the well-being of their family genuinely in mind. As their priority. #Despite everything Garp really loves Luffy AND ACE. He's an idiot but genuinely only ever wanted the best for those two #Family is when people love each other and want look after one another. **That's** what matters #That's why blood family reunions have been such a big reoccuring thing in the story especially post-TS #Reuniting families that've been torn apart would not matter if they did not love each other #IDK man I have Thoughts but not the braincells to form coherent sentences

[resident-gay-bitch]

little rich boy sirius who gets disowned and can barely survive without his expensive brands and the basic human need to eat at least once a day meeting the entirely too generous james potter who just falls for the vanity and sincerity of the reformed rich boy and decides that once sirius stops caring about brands and status and rich boy things and just cares about what matters in life he decides to spoil his boyfriend to pieces because he’s secretly sitting on a fucking fortune

#idk i just think it’s funny #like james would find sirius when he’s struggling with money because he’s so bad at saving and prioritising his spendings because he’s never #had too before and so james would teach him how to do all that stuff and emotionally support sirius through it all and sirius just falls in #love with this beautiful guy who’s just so generous and who teaches him so many things and finds value in kindness and sincerity and #compassion and all that jazz and james falls in love with sirius helplessly because he might be stuck up and vein and kind of selfish and #is stuck up and cares all too much about status but he’s trying so hard to be better and he finds empathy because sirius got kicked out for #the worst reasons because he’s always been the black sheep of his highly cultist christian family or whatver and he’s also outwardly queer #and james decides that he wants to give sirius everything and loves the way he looks in expensive makeup and designer faux fur coats and #heels and divine jewellery and all that jazz but makes sirius sell it all and learn what it means to be human and not rely on money and #status and brands and stuff and sirius learns what it’s like to be decent and in touch with humanity and only then does james take sirius on #a surprise luxury holiday for his birthday or something and then just buys him thousands of dollars worth of all these glamorous looking #things and sirius is like omg what the fuck jamie and then he just becomes sirius’ sugar daddy because he can’t help himself but they’re #also in love and much better people because of it and when sirius buys things now it’s not because of brands or because they have big price #tags like he used too. he now buys things with james’ credit card he keeps in his own wallet because he thinks he’ll feel pretty in them or #because he thinks james will loose it if he sees sirius walking around in it or if he sees a really cute toaster that sends him into a #frenzy that has him spending all way too much on an impromptu kitchen renovation but james doesn’t care because as long as his boyfriend is #happy and actually paying attention to the price of things and calculating the best value and taking james’ opinion as well and just being #happy and safe and accepted in his new home and family here with his jamie #please i think they’d be so cute ugh!!! #prongsfoot #bambibelle #drabble #fic idea #marauders #james potter #sirius black #jay talks

[2hoothoots]

because i'm predictable, what're bobby and chloe up to in the villain au? or how's the dynamic between sam and dogen since he's taken psychoisolation to the extreme?

Bobby's in a pretty similar position to the regular timeline - at least, at first glance. he's overworked and underpaid, constantly crunching to try and keep on top of the ever-growing mountain of paperwork his superiors keep handing down to him.

but i think the trajectory of his character looks pretty different? he never really met Raz at Whispering Rock. he never got humbled by him, never had to suffer the embarrassment of his spot as top dog being yanked away by some new kid... but he also never really got to go through a lot of the character growth from their ensuing rivalry? he's definitely mellower than he was as a kid, but he's got a lot of unresolved issues bubbling under the surface - anger problems, poor self-esteem, a tendency to lash out at authority figures...

he still really believes in the work he's doing, and wants the Psychonauts to be the force for good he knows they can be. but he's carrying a growing burden of stress and exhaustion, stuck in a toxic work environment that's more likely to change him (or just make him snap) than he is to change it.

his only real friend at the Motherlobe is Chloe. Chloe is... well! again, first-glance, not that much has changed. she works the same job in the Motherlobe's engineering and aerospace department, and she still gets to pursue her childhood fascination with space.

but the harsher work culture and the more pragmatic, efficient environment have exacerbated some of her less personable traits. she's blunt, rude, and almost fanatically devoted to her work, to the exception of basically everything else. her workplace safety standards are lax, and her ethics laxer. she'd sell the Psychonauts out for one corn chip if she thought it'd get her better funding for her pet projects

#my thesis is that Raz and Bobby made each other worse and then better #in this timeline Bobby never hit those lows. but he also never got to grow past them and develop as a person #he /hates/ vau Raz. but it's more as this faceless proxy for everything he hates about the Psychonauts #Raz barely even knows he exists. #Chloe and Bobby are still good buds! and maybe on-again off-again something more #but they're both too... (gestures vaguely) to really hold down a stable relationship as they are now #Chloe also never gets to meet Mirtala in this version of events #and she never gets to have that kind of uncomplicated deeply loving friendship with another kid her age #and among other things she's fundamentally much less well-adjusted because of it #but then isn't everyone in this au lol #villains au #SAM AND DOGEN is good also... i need to chew over that one more #much to think about #but i wanted to draw bobby today so here he is

[minorfamilysupremacy]

said it once, saying it again outside of tags: the person you are when you're being abused is not truly reflective of who you are. in an abusive situation, you are in constant survival mode. you are behaving in ways that you think a) are going to please the abuser and b) are going to keep you from being hit, berated, or otherwise punished. you do not get to be who you really are because that is legitimately dangerous. it creates a vulnerability you cannot afford. you need to act with your self-preservation instincts in mind first and foremost, and self-preservation often conflicts with authenticity and honesty. so when you're looking at those texts, judging build for being such a thoughtless, hateful person, try to understand what it's like mentally to have your back to the wall for months or years on end.

#'well i wouldn't do -- ' is that so? is that REALLY so? #people who haven't been abused love to talk a big game about how they're better or smarter or wouldn't act like that #you don't KNOW until you are in a perpetually unsafe environment how you will react #chances are it's not flattering #when confronted with constant trauma the brain does not function in the ways you think or wish it would #it will fundamentally alter everything about you #to expect someone who is in constant danger to react with nothing but kindness and generosity is unrealistic and unfair #what many of you are doing is creating the need for a perfect victim #your long-suffering cinderella who never lost hope #you want a shining cipher of a person to believe in and not a messy complex honest human being who reacts in ways you may not like #god help any of you if you ever face a hundredth of the amount of shit you throw at build on the daily #build jakapan

[sparring-spirals]

Bell's Hells, A Summary: Well, We're Pretty In Touch With Our Emotions, But Oh Boy, We're Not Very Good At Handling Them Once We Touch Them.

#subtitle(s) oh god oh god i feel so guilty and she got me a pencil im gonna buy her?? a RING???? that'll fix it! #or i Care About This Robot So Much how do i communicate it #or Man All These Revelations have me feeling kind of funny. time to distribute dynamite in prep for the big plan tomorrow! #or hey our friend is feeling sad lets do an elaborate lie to make them feel better #critical role #cr spoilers #ish? #c3e27 #bell's hells #i have like 6 posts in my drafts going on about the hilarity of this. im really enjoying it #i promise ill shut up about it soon. maybe. #no sorry i got one for orym: well the loss of my husband really rattled me time to be aggressively hypervigilant and self sacrificial <3 #and tbh everything about ashton. remember when ashton was like 'i think i get beat up to see if people watch' #and then CONTINUED TO GET BEAT UP. man i love this party. #shitpost

[holocene-sims]

a sneak peek for an upcoming (timeline tbd) update 😊

#holocene.txt #hlcn: story extras #consider this a thanks for the kind words on gratitude day :) #i wanna respond to everyone individually when i have time and also wax poetic about how much every comment means to me #it really does mean a lot #it's been a rough year and a very lonely year like i'm genuinely just so :/ #i lost both of my grandmothers this year very suddenly and the holidays feel empty now and i'm dealing with scary health issues #i finally had a brain mri after waiting for it to get scheduled since JUNE and now i have to wait on results and undergo some other testing #and i'm losing my mind a little because i planned a nice christmas gift for my mom and it feels ruined because the post office lost it #and my dad ruined the whole surprise of it by calling customer support on speaker phone with her in the room...and she ofc heard everything #i just wanted something nice for my mom :( she deserves it and although i have other gifts for her still it's not all what i planned #i don't mean to rant but i just wanted to add context when i say it means a lot that anyone even remotely likes my pixels #i may not know most of you very well *yet* (trying to fix that!!) but it's nice to feel a little support from somewhere :) beyond nice #and sorry for being absent a lot this year but i swear i have so much appreciation for y'all and i love you and your pixels dearly #i always feel bad like maybe it doesn't seem like i care in return bc i'm offline a lot now but i really do!! i care a lot!! love y'all xox

[livelybook]

I always see people say well, if Alicent had just married Helaena to Jace, the war would never have happened. And it's like the war would have absolutely happened, its akin to the waves ever falling onto the shore, its inevitable and unstoppable, all that marriage would have done was put a bandaid on a wound for a little while before everything would just explode.

I don't think there would have been any situation where Alicient would have agreed to that. If Helaena did marry Jace, she and any children born would have been used as a hostage during the war and worse than that, she would have been stuck in Dragonstone with a group of the most volatile people who despise her side of the family, what would have Rhaenrya or Daemon have done to her, an easy within reach target when Lucerys died? Would Jace even be kind to her once his brother dies?

Or let's say that the marriage had gone through and Alicient manages to make Heleana stay in Kingslanding along with the Black team and for a little while, everyone would be in an uneasy peace, forced to get along under Viserys eye and then the Black team would want something done & the Green team would need to agree for it to happen(and this something would undoubtedly not be in favour of the Greens) or if the Green team was perceived as disrepectful whether directly as one of the members doing something(an incident with the boys or Otto secretly scheming or Alicient doing her queen duties, I can just imagine Daemon seething in the background like how dare she command while in the castle of the Targaryens) or someone implying that the Green team would be better and it getting back to the Black team, they would have immediately implied a subtle threat regarding Helaena and declared their authority as the to be Queen party(well, as subtle as a hammer on an unruly nail could be) and any slight disbelieving hopes that this arrangement could actually work would be dashed and the Green team would be furious and unable to do anything about the Black team, and the moment Viserys dies, that's it for them.

And If they had managed to secure the city, the same as the show and had Helaena & any of her children as well, they'd be using them as a hostage against the Black Team too and at least with them, she'd be better treated.

And continuing with what about if Helaena had children? She'd be known to have had children with a widely suspected bastard leading to a shaky line and Daemon is right there with his two targaryen looking boys, there is no way he or even those boys or their later children would have left her and her children alone. If she had married Jace, she'd basically be terribly screwed over twice in succesion crisis in her lifetime.

Also, if Jace had married Helaena, what about Baela? Now, I really don't think Corlys would have let it go when he's been promised a Velaryon queen on the throne and has gotten so close to it after all the other times, just to only have a bastard prince. So that's basically 2 main people besides Otto in Helaena's family who would be eyeing her and her children.

Let's not forgot ofcourse, What about her brothers with their future childrens and their claims, the relationship would never be the same and I doubt that something would not be done about her children too if they were to manage win.

What kind of life would that be to be taken away from your family and placed with people who will be actively to passively hostile to you? To know your relationship with all your family side will forever be altered, that your mother wouldn't choose you and your line over your brother and you & all your children will be in danger from everyone for a very long time?

#Like I feel that marriage offer was a really shitty offer and Alicient absolutely knew that #The levels of isolation and fear Helaena would have gone through would have mirrored Alicient so much #And while she wouldn't choose Helaena over Aegon especially since Helaena's claim would be intertwined with the Black team #It doesn't mean that Alicient doesn't love her so much #That she would never put her in that kind of harm #Everyone kinda glosses over this because we're modern and there's no stigma against marrying a bastard #But Helaena would be marrying a bastard and while it was never formally acknowledged in the show #If Rhaenrya lost and had to be forced to admit that to save her life Helaena's standing #And her children's claim & royal life would all be invalidated #And Helaena's own claim to the throne would be severely diminished as well #Somehow #that marriage would make everything so much worse #anti black team #house of the dragon #heleana targaryen #alicent hightower #anti rhaenrya #anti daemon #anti viserys i targaryen #I feel like the only only person who wouldn't have a problem with this marriage among everyone's worry and refusal is Viserys #Because the way everyone says Helaena married to Jace would stop the war #is them assuming that the marriage is a one for all magic solution to everyone's problem and nothing could ever go wrong again #And the only person who would have that view in the show is Viserys #He'd be the only one smiling and being giddy at that wedding like all his problems had now disappeared

[melverie]

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh today I've been constantly experiencing the urge to un-private today-in-the-devildom & start writing for it again

#i'm gonna ramble in the tags but #i've been talking with starr (if you're reading this--hi starr!! <3) about the blog today and sharing some of the entries #and it just made me miss it so much #+ the conversation actually made me realize some other reasons why i didn't enjoy the blog in general anymore #like i genuinely love the blog and i genuinely loved writing for it & that conversation reminded me of that #but also there were so many reasons that ultimately pushed me to more or less abandon the blog & then later private it too #so i'm kind of at a loss here #tbh i think i'm mostly just scared to pick the blog up again only for it to end exactly like last time i picked it back up #i've actually always wanted for the blog to be a source of inspiration y'know? #like the things mentioned in the entries are kinda just small ideas right #i was hoping that people would read these & feel inspired to write or draw something of their own based on my entries #that was actually what made me start the blog in the first place. the hope that i could inspire others that way #aaahhhhhh.... maybe it's on me since i could have more openly communicated that idea...... #i did get to meet one wonderful person who wrote a few fics based on my entries tho!! (hi ali <3) #but yeah..there's that #also the way engagement just dropped significantly after a while #like i know i was gone for a good while & that a lot of people left the fandom and all that #but still getting maybe one reblog if i'm lucky really feels like a punch to the gut #ESPECIALLY considering that i was close to 900 followers on there #do you guys know that feeling when you proudly show someone you care about something you did only to get a disinterested answer? #yeah... #that's essentially how it feels like to me #and well as you might know the feeling of “why should i keep writing if apparently no one cares” eventually won... haha..... #but aaaahhhhh i'm still clinging onto the hope & what ifs here #that conversation with starr really just made me forget about everything that frustrated me about the blog & left me with this #longing feeling to start again lol #hey if you've made it this far into the tags let me just ask--would you care if i picked the blog back up? #would you also *show* that you care? #i'm actually quite curious (you could almost call me george lol) #anyway maybe we'll see each other on today-in-the-devildom again in the future.. who knows