#we learned many things in those early chapters lol

[kustas]

Sorry for the incoming long rant.

I just rediscovered your blog, and I always enjoyed your thoughts on WHA and wanted to rant a little bit. I found a post of yours talking about how WHA is getting less nuanced and I feel the same way. I feel like in an effort to make every character feel like a person, the manga treats everyone’s issues as if they’re on the same level. I’m not sure if that entirely makes sense, but it feels like the manga is trying to make you sympathize with everyone to some extent, even though that doesn’t really work. For example, there is a chapter that pissed me off so much that I had to put the manga on pause. It’s the chapter where Coco shows off a spell that can clean water, and the townspeople are uninterested because they don’t need it. And the moral of the chapter is that Coco should make her spell for everyone. No. No no no. These people need to learn some damn compassion and realize that they need to help end what suffering that they are able to. The moral of the chapter should’ve been that these people need to stop thinking of only themselves. Everything else was aimed at them, so Coco’s spell didn’t need to be for them. It shouldn’t have been for them. There is also the situation with the knights. You went into this already but who gives a shit if they are offended by a grieving husband taking out his anger in them when they are a part of the system that caused his grief. The manga wants you to sympathize with everyone, and while I don’t think these people should be one dimensional their issues should not be treated on the same level as others. Anyway, sorry for the weird long rant, it’s just everyone treats this manga like it is The Most Flawlessly Progressive Manga Ever and your one of the few I’ve found who acknowledges is flaws without devaluing its strengths

Thank you for your ask! I agree with what you're saying and think you worded it very well. It's a bit of a shame it's so rare to find people openly critiquing the series in the community, while it's nothing serious (and minimized by being a bit of a hermit, lol) I've seen some animosity for doing it, I assume because many assume critiquing art means you don't like it or are opposed to what it's trying to do! Which isn't true. Granted Witch Hat Atelier contains many an obvious fantasy metaphor for real life social issues it should be under more scrutiny than normal if you ask me, because those are serious topics that affect people's real lives. I do have faith in the author's serious handling of touchy topics, but in the execution there are things I'd do differently for sure...

The manga wants you to sympathize with everyone, and while I don’t think these people should be one dimensional their issues should not be treated on the same level as others.

WHA has in its writing strong expectations from the reader regarding how you think of its cast I find hard to read through a lot - the latest arc in particular, comparatively, has much of its character based moments revolve around if they're good or bad in a way that implies it'll change how you think of a character and it disturbs me. Qifrey and Sasaran are two early examples of characters that do *not* play into that - Qifrey's beginning arcs simultaneously show him as a shady manipulator and genuinely good teacher who betters the life of his students, and it participates so much to the dramatic tension. Sasaran is a villain of the week who while shown to be a huge cunt, has a backstory that implies his original motives were not nefarious ones, and his life was not easy.

Compare this to a character like Dean who, as much as I'm a fan of his concept, falls rather flat because he's, depending on the chapter, pushed as good/bad to the reader, regarding his moral alignment. Characters who are just meant to be despicable don't have the same level of attention placed to their writing which is a similar issue. It feels insecure, like if the story was saying: we have those important characters, their role is to bring up difficult situations, please don't hate them, like them, see, they're nice too! And giving them chosen positive traits. People don't work like that and it feels cheap. Fandom's obsession with villains should show well a character being despicable doesn't make them unlikeable, and I'd like WHA's characters to be less "good"/"likeable" myself to make them a bit more human. This would detonate a fandom nuke given I still regularly see passionate debates about how mean and terrible characters like Agott or Custas are but hey

As for priorities in the depicted suffering of characters in universe - yeah, it's true some scenes feel a bit off in that department...the water cleaning scene you mention did not rub me the wrong way too hard, because it's centered around Coco, who's our main character, the story bending to give her a central role makes sense, and her unique position in witch society and how it relates to helping others are, with the responsibilities of witches, very important to the story. The apprentice backstories are an earlier example I had trouble taking too seriously because while they're all terrible, tiny silly Riche and her brother's experience with physical child abuse felt drawn with the same intensity as Agott being pushed to mental disarray by her rich fancy perfectionist family. It's all hard to complain about and might sting less if the writing was a bit less dramatic and preachy, but that might just be a me issue, I've seen many fans praise WHA's writing wholeheartedly, so...

What I am hoping is that the latest arc will conclude and lead to the shorter previous structure and we'll get individual attention brought to character stories, one after the other, instead of the all at once formula going on right now... We'll see!

#no real conclusion. if u wanna discuss more feel free to:) #ask #witch hat atelier #sounding like a broken record at this point but if you want a kids having variousproblems manga that im #o does characters right: read sunny

[farlynthordens]

V9 post-reading thoughts

i enjoyed the book a lot. i was all for seeing bisco's wholesome and happy family life as well as red's absolutely soul-crushing and lonely existence. when i started reading, I was surprised that bisco and red get along so soon since i was expecting her to play an antagonizing role for most of it (and possibly try to do things like steal milo away). the cover and pre-release advertising kinda gave that vibe lol

it started off great then fell off for me at certain points in the middle, but then the ending saved it. we also yet again had a last minute plot twist/reveal of the true villain.

n'badu's identity was probably the most confusing part of the whole book and i did have to double back to make sure i understood what was going on. if he's the manifestation of bad timelines, is he a god of spacetime who can consequently only create negative events? it seems that way from when you look back on what n'badu had done throughout the book and what he threatens to do at the ending.

i thought this was going to be the end of the series, so as i got closer to finishing i was very confused how this was going to wrap up. i was pleasantly surprised that there's still going to be one more book. red's character arc is more or less resolved, but she obviously has multiple stakes in the new issues that have arisen so i hope she still plays a notable role in v10. i'm worried there's a good chance red will disappear for good when they inevitably defeat n'badu (see meta section).

i wrote down a couple of gripes/critiques prior to reading the final chapter, but many were resolved by the fact that there will be a continuation + the things cobkubo mentions in the afterword. ex:

i was sad that bisco/milo had zero scenes of just the 2 of them since those were generally the highlight of every other book. however, 9 essentially made red the protagonist and bisco/milo were more there to be HER support rather than the other way around like what we've seen in every other book. cobkubo mentions tho that v10 will be more about bisco and milo's bonds.

we never concluded what happened with milo and he's still stuck in another timeline, so that's yet to be resolved. as well as... like.. you know, everything else... I'm still sad that he wasn't there for the final battle tho.

Meta stuff

Early on we learn that red has never used the choushin bow, but its wish granting power was what I had thought to be the main thing that caused sugar's birth and why she turned out as a literal god, since sugar's powers are the highest form of the choushin ability. So in red's universe, sugar turned out as a normal baby bc red and blue never had that ability. Never being able to use the choushin bow ties into what red realizes at the climax, which is that she never truly believed in [loved] herself. She only fought and kept going bc she thought that's what everyone expected of her. She thought of everyone's love for her as obligations she could never fulfill, rather than seeing that everyone just loved her for herself and wanted the best for her regardless of what that meant in the end.

Because of this, red put the weight of the world on her shoulders and wouldn't accept losing or running away from what she thought was "her destiny". But she failed to save her universe at every opportunity she could have technically had, bc she didn't trust in herself or she doubted the love of those around her (like when she chooses to not kill blue). the timeline could have been saved had she gained the choushin bow, realized her true powers (and thus removed her achille's heel of the souls's power burning her when she used it), and/or if sugar was born as a god, etc.

when we learn at the end that red's timeline was just a copied reality and that she, everyone she knew, and everything she ever experienced were "fake"... my question was then "WAS it really all fake?" n'badu doesn't explain why he made the dark timeline, but i felt the implication was just that it satisfied his own desires of seeing 'bisco' suffer, since that was never able to manifest in the main timeline.

even if red's reality wasn't meant to exist, i don't think that makes her or her experiences any less real than bisco's. she is still a living, tangible being. and as we saw towards the beginning when n'badu tried to overwrite the main timeline, bisco too had begun disappearing in a similar way to how red did when she attacked n'badu. if all timelines are subject to be rewritten like that, then i don't see why one would be lesser than the other.

HOWEVER. framing red in this way makes me worried that she is going to disappear. i expect that in v10 she'll be around as a deuteragonist to bismilo, but in the end they're going to defeat n'badu and cause her to stop existing. it would be a very bittersweet ending, since bisco had invited her to be part of his family. another bit of evidence for this is the v8 epilogue... where in which red of course doesn't show up (cobkubo had not even thought of her character yet at that point).

there is a possibility tho for v10 to end well for red. since the antagonists are gods who can rewrite spacetime, sugar (freed from n'badu's control) may be able to completely remake red's timeline herself and allow her to live happily without rust/n'badu's existence.

re: the "do you love yourself?" bit from cobkubo's afterword:

milo is very confident in himself, bisco is unsure. i think this is exemplified by the parallel scenes of them trying to summon their special bows with only their own power. milo is able to summon it because he is extremely self-assured in who he is and what he believes he can do (thanks to bisco always believing in him/learning from bisco that he is a capable mushroom keeper). HOWEVER, this sometimes leads to moments of over-confidence that rebound negatively on him in some way. summoning the mantra bow completely exhausted him and put him in potential danger because he didn't have someone to share the burden of it with.

bisco was not able to summon the choushin bow at all because he needed someone else there to believe in him. he even specifically says "I can't do it without milo" because milo is the only person he's used that bow with/knows milo is the one who believes in him most of all. having red - functionally, himself - be there and say she believed in him opened up a new path to strength. it showed what he could do if he simply had the heart to believe in his own self.

Final thoughts

my initial impression upon finishing the book is that it probably ranks somewhere in the middle of my overall favorite volumes (maybe between v6 and 8?). i definitely enjoyed reading it a lot, the events felt more coherent than 8, and it surpassed my expectations in multiple ways. i'll prob have a more solid placement once i think on it for a bit longer.

positive/high points:

I think v9 has one of the strongest openings of any volume. the first 4~5 chapters were really good. I think the middle was a bit weak at times, but then the final battle saves it.

Has a pretty big cast of characters, both new ones and old ones who are brought back, but it was handled well and it didn't feel confusing. i think my summary probably made it seem more confusing

Red was overall a good and very enjoyable character. I liked getting to see/learn her backstory in pieces, because each new bit of info is a new sadness gut punch. she's also badass in the final battle.

I thought rust was a good antagonist. you could say there's not much dimension to him since he's just a ruthless and (literal) robotic murder machine who loves to see people suffer. but i like it. the whole point of red's dark timeline is that everything has gone to shit and is as terrible as could be, so rust matches that mood pretty well. not every villain has to be DeepTM

Continued the themes seen in 7 and 8 well, such as the idea that you should feel free to live your life the way YOU want and not feel burdened by others' expectations.

From re-reading thru the summary post and thinking back on the events, i felt like there were a couple hints to n'badu being the Real Bad Guy sprinkled throughout the book that i didn't notice during my initial read. in hindsight, this was not a complete surprise like the v5 ending's kurokawa reveal for example.

negative/low points:

I really disliked having bisco nerfed for most of the book by being turned into a kinoko. I feel like this detracted from the emotional impact of the conversations he and red have during this time. there surely could have been ways to showcase red's character than by eliminating bisco's usefulness to the plot for anything other than talking.

Related to above, while in kinoko form bisco often felt uncharacteristically goofy.

N'badu's speech pattern is annoying

Bisco self-cest hint at the end???? red isn't cool being kissed by milo but kissing her alternate reality self is just fine. it isn't cheating if it's with yourself.... i guess.......

other things of note:

This vol brings back citymaker, lifemaker, AND mantras with lots of new skills showcased for each one. i wouldn't say it was confusing, just maybe excessive.

We get a new tidbit of jabi lore

Domino comes back and gets to have a scene where she fights and is very cool. it was also fun learning her personality a little more since we don't really get to in 3

Salt is mentioned a couple times but literally does nothing the entire volume. i know he's just a normal kid in a story full of god-like powers, but they didn't even give him a single spoken line

#sabikui bisco #sbkb summary series #ITS PRETTY LONG IM SORRY I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD

[anonymous-dee]

Akutagawa Thoughts...

I definitely think that Akutagawa is a misunderstood character, unless he's not and I'm just rambling for no reason LOL. Regardless, he's my favorite character so I just wanna talk about him so please hear me out! (obvious spoilers ahead)

I don't think that Akutagawa is as evil as many people may portray him as. I definitely think that Akutagawa has the potential to be a good person but he simply doesn't know how to.

HEAR ME OUT THOUGH! So obviously we know that Akutagawa's childhood was not pleasant: he grew up in the slums, where it was a dog-eat-dog world. If he wasn't constantly guarded and ready to attack at any given moment, he would lose those closest to him. He grew up in an environment where, if he didn't learn to kill others, both he and his sister would not survive. This was all that he knew, up until Dazai took him in and inducted him and Gin into the Port Mafia.

From there, what he already grew up with was enforced tenfold. Though he wasn't living in squalor anymore, he was raised in a world where killing was the only way for him to survive. Not to mention all of the trauma and the inferiority complex Dazai gave him.

While I don't think that Akutagawa should necessarily be excused for hurting Kyouka, but I also think this is an excellent example of how the cycle of abuse works. Abuse and survival are all that he has ever known, and I think that in a sense he was trying to teach Kyouka that this was how life operated in the Port Mafia. Trying to see the light, being a good person, and acting on one's feelings could very easily lead them to an early death. Think of Odasaku. The Port Mafia is not the place or profession for one to be weak or soft, and Akutagawa was probably trying to rid Kyouka of what he perceived as "weakness," unaware of what the actual truth was. (The truth being that there is good and light and that Kyouka should not be shamed for wanting to be a good person).

I think that Akutagawa has the potential to be good and we can see this very clearly through Wan, as well as Beast. Akutagawa has been upholding his 6 month promise to Atsushi not to kill, and although this may be for his own desire to fight Atsushi rather than an innate desire to be a better person, we at least know he is capable of not killing.

In Beast, the entire premise is that Akutagawa joins the ADA (I've only read the first two volumes to bear with me here); But I don't think a person who is inherently bad would care that much about their friends and family (Gin). Also, the fact that he got mad at Tanizaki for treating Naomi roughly during the entrance exam also shows that Akutagawa has human empathy (even if Naomi liked the rough treatment but we don't need to talk about that).

Another thing to mention here is that Akutagawa ONLY knows how to be in fight or flight mode and he GENUINELY only knows how to respond in extremes. When he's supposed to question people, he threatens them. And when he wants something, he can only think of using violence or force to achieve his goal. He is a direct product of his upbringing in the slums. (and in the main storyline, the Port Mafia as well).

And when we get later into the manga (main canon) we can also talk about how in Chapter 88 we can see how much Akutagawa has changed and the amount of influence Atsushi has had on him. Akutagawa sacrificed his life for Atsushi, knowing that he himself didn't have much time left. The CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT he had to undergo to get to this point *sobs incoherently*

ANYWAYS That's it for my little ramble thank you for your time

#bsd #akutagawa #bungou stray dogs #bsd akutagawa #bsd hcs

[myloveforhergoeson]

are there any differences to roxy's characterization from when you first thought up of her vs now over one year on? excluding plot directed character growth (like her being more comfortable in her standing within the group vs earlier). is there anything particular that you wrote/made notes on in the earlier days where youre like that's not what she would say

what about other ocs like declan somerset and mag and dani? or even canon characters youve fleshed out more like camille, jo, dak zevon

hi!! yes yes yes there are so many things that have changed about her over the course of this story from when i conceptualized the idea, wrote it out, and began publishing it!

like you mentioned, rox becoming comfortable with the guys and her new friends has been the main thing, but aside from that she's now learning about good relationships, realizing that being with dak messed her up a bit and working through that

but enough about plot directed character growth! there were plenty of instances and scenes i had written in her early days (and even now lol) where i just had to completely chop conversations out and reword them because she used to be a lot more combative than she is now. less go with the btr flow and more... hey are we going to get fired?? but that's not fun at all - so she's mostly transformed to be an accomplice.

i'm not sure if this also counts, but outside of her writing she's not very good at processing her own feelings so there were a few instances in which other characters made her upset (camillle; james; dak) where i wrote out some scenes where she essentially exploded at them and reading it back it felt so so so wrong. she can hardly put to words her own feelings in conversation, so i changed those to scenes that i think fit her better

instead of blowing up at dak over his cheating she chose to distance herself from what was happening and end their "business relationship" before their real relationship (originally she threw a stapler at him. it was awesome. but she'd never really do that so i cut it out)

instead of screaming at camille for kissing the boy she likes, roxy stepped back and asked her why she had chosen to hurt logan, not why she'd kissed james (i stopped writing this one fully before it got ugly because it hurt me, but roxy had some choice words about breaking girl code)

instead of actually talking to james and working out their problems on tour, she's trying to figure out why he doesn't like her - if it was something she had done, not if there was anything she could say

so yeah. dubs for the emotionally stunted girls. damn maybe she should work on that idk

i haven't written dec or dani enough to have their original personalities shift from what i had originally imagined - declan is just a goofy teen dad trying to raise his daughter the best he can. while he's just trying to be there for her, sometimes he's gotta put the father foot down too! dani is just kind of catty and they typically follow mag's lead on things.

as for mag, i originally wrote a scene where rox bumped into him at the grocery store when they got kicked off rocque records. he was a lot meaner than i wanted him to be, so i just kicked the scene entirely. but you can read it here if you want! in my head he's a lot more of a nicer on the outside kinda guy, like in the Morning Glory chapter. what he says is sweet, but his words have bad undertones and he's very good at getting what he wants. more of this in the future~

i think i do pretty well at writing the canon characters in line with how they act in the show... except for james.... god. literally every time i write him i think im doing it wrong and it bothers me so much lmao. like yes he's silly he's goofy he always wants to make out with his girlfriend (not that she's complaining) but he simply would not be like. the perfect boyfriend. but this is my story and i want him to be so he is!!!!!!!!!!!! so yeah sometimes i'll write him and rox talking and just have to completely delete what he says because he's not that brilliant and make him say something stupid instead lol

so tl;dr! yes all the freaking time. all. the. time. but that's what makes writing fun! it's like a puzzle, placing everyone's distinct personalities together and putting them in situations to see how they'd react. i think all of them get along really well, even when they butt heads :) but sometimes whats in the drafts has gotta stay in the drafts

#THANK YOU FOR YOUR QUESTION THIS WAS SO FUN #ash talks tasw #thats all she wrote fic

[2n2n]

sorry i keep sending so many asks (though i guess you cant tell because anon lol) BUT this has been living in my brain. in the early chapters hanako mentions god told him his guilt would be abolished through duty. do you think thats an actual god? the well god or another we havent met yet? or just something he tells himself, like a coping thing?? or is the god tsukasa??? its been driving me CRAZY lately. very fixated on this one little detail haha. curious about your thoughts on this :]c

oh its fine.... I'm not a popular person anyhow, my presence is meaningless and small, I assume all of the asks I get are only ever from a small handful of people, ahaha. There's only the illusion of anything more through anon xD

This is one of those things I have not the slightest idea about honestly, I have no idea when and how and under what pretense Amane spoke to 'God'. If the Well-God was inside of Tsukasa, could speak through him in the Red House, and even when separated from Tsukasa, seems to speak in a copy of his voice because it LEARNED from Tsukasa talking to it,, what the hell happened to it when Amane stabbed Tsukasa in the chest .... ? Did it .. come... out ? Did it speak in Tsukasa's voice, still? Did it ever talk to Amane? Could it? Is its consciousness distinct from Tsukasa's, or are they more or less the same being, at a certain point?

Amane stabbed Tsukasa in the heart, so ...

If the Well-God is the same as the God sacrificed to in Sumire's time (which it seems to be, given the cavern connecting these events), and the same as the God of the school (or at least, its powers seem to be borrowed from it, and go towards Tsukasa now, and Sakura refers to them as 'returning to [their] original form', so it wouldn't seem as if 'going to Tsukasa' is 'new management' so much as it is 'back again'), then it could ostensibly charge Amane personally with becoming one of the keepers of its powers .. . . . ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? But I can't yet even understand how it works with the time shenanigans, how things coexist with the mysteries at all ..........................

whatever the case, it probably is also tied to the unsolved mystery of the 'joudai' .... ? the joudai, which speak to Amane and do things like fret and get nervous .... they seem ehrrr, oddly personable, not lifeless

the Yugi's little tsueshiro, which carry some kind of holiness as Amane uses his to don his blessed form and escape his mononoke-vibe, for whatever reason, are 'haku' joudai and 'koku' joudai, and ???? if you combined their phrases phonetically ????? you would get 'kokuhaku' or ...................................... ???????????? 'confession' ??? (as in, confession to a crime/mistake/guilt, OR confession of love, OR confession of faith, OR confession of sin) which ? relates ?? to what Amane said about , his 'guilt' ?????????????????????????????

so what does that mean . I don't . know.

I'm sure when we know what the joudai even are, we'll have a better idea of what kind of blessing the Yugi have, and why. Their orbs are very unique to them....

some sort of. part of the origin story . do not know

#avvy's JSHK #the way Amane treats his so friendly and affectionately makes me.... feel like it is a fragment of Tsukasa ... ????? #eeuurhhhg thats all I've got

[danganronpa96]

what was your inspiration behind monotora?

Since Rexx was the one to create Monotora, I've asked him to answer this question (everything below is what she's written):

When it came to replacing Monokuma for DR96 it took a lot of thought and planning on how we could have a character that can stand out to be a threat rather than something that's passive aggressive like Monokuma himself. Throughout the months of production they went through so many design ideas it was tough to find one where it wasn't too complex or it didn't fit in with the setting DR96 was taking place.

First one was done in around the end of September 2021, and originally they were going to be blue/dark grey - but I did not want to get any comparisons to Sans so I immediately changed them to a very desaturated orange/dark grey with blue eyes. It didn't really last long though since their colours felt like they weren't really popping out enough and were bland. I also went overboard with their markings so they needed to be simplified. (I would've shown what they'd be if they were blue but unfortunately it's been lost </3)

Second concept was a little after in around early October 2021 for a reference sheet, they were still going to be bipedal and had a lot more scars on their body (except those were done as a deliberate design choice rather than something you'll receive in a fight.) They were more scruffy with an ear notch included and had an overbite, but this didn't really last long until I did another concept design for them. Around this period I struggled a lot when it came to designing them without stepping into the complex design boundaries.

Third concept was originally going to be used for their splash art but I wasn't really fond of that pose and the yellow scars were so icky to me so then they were edited to be more fleshy coloured (as in a shade of red you'd get from freshly opened wounds) which leads to their splash art we used to reveal Monotora to the discord server during the announcement (which was drawn in November 2021 time) I was going through the period of learning to draw a lot of sharp teeth so the anatomy looked really rough.

A lot of these are really old and outdated but the most up to date version is what they currently look up to chapter 3, they have a more animalistic look and they're no longer bipedal. Generally they're really fun to draw and goof around with and it's been fun using them for DR96 :)

I do have a list of characters/creatures that are main inspirations to fleshing out Monotora's personality and traits here:

Monokuma + Monokid; these two were mainly a guideline to starting off with designing a mascot for the killing game.

Doraemon; at the very beginning his design was Monotora's main inspiration but overtime things would've been changed or scrapped, however a few traits are still there such as Monotora being able to hid things in their stomach like how Doraemon can hide things in his little pocket on his stomach.

Nightmare Fredbear + Montgomery (FNAF); these two characters helped flesh out that 'threatening robot' kind of thing (Fredbears off-putting dialogue in UCN and Montgomery's temperament and determination to hunt you down in SB). A fun fact is that Monty's voice is my personal HC voice for Monotora lol

The indoraptor (Jurassic World); a pretty obvious thing from the indoraptor is it being built to be used as a weapon, Monotora has the capability of killing just like the indoraptor (only differences is that Monotora doesn't have the laser targeting system and they're smaller than the indoraptor). But generally Monotora gets their animalistic behaviour from this dinosaur. I've also seen a few people mention how Monotora looks similar to Mapleshade from Warrior Cats but she was never ever used for inspiration (which is surprising considering I have the books) LMAOOOO

#this tackles both their design development and what inspired their character #which is really cool to read tbh #i remember trying to draw monotora once on paper in one of their early designs and failing miserably lol #rexx goes by he/she/they btw

[walls-actual-ly]

omw of analyzing the chapter "oh, to watch love bloom" from my fanfic Take your pretty smile, tell them everything's fine, (breaking all my bones to sharpen your knife) especially with a focus on the depiction of Jhin and Hwei's relationship and the question if Hwei is able to consent (he is not).

(cw, discussion of pseudoincest, abuse, grooming, child abuse, incest (brief yasuyone mention), child neglect, depiction of those topics... ehhh)

The chapter is (as attentive readers might know) the first time that Hwei and Jhin actually have sex, and in his "short" analysis I want to get especially into the question whether Hwei is able to consent - and point to the way I depicted the relationship between him and Jhin in this chapter specifically.

So the first thing I noticed during a reread is that Hwei imitates Jhin in his relationship with Kayn - just how Jhin postponed having sex with Hwei to give him the space to reconsider, Hwei gives Kayn the space to think the scythe branding through.

This, in combination with their later conversation about highlights the power and influence Jhin has on Hwei. He is in control of him on so many levels, controls how he spends his time, where he spends it, but also how he interacts in relationships.

And to be fair, teaching Hwei that its important to give people space before important decisions is a good value in of itself, but it's also creates nothing but a simulacrum of consent. Because while Jhin does give Hwei space to think it through, and Hwei gives Kayn space to consider his options, that doesn't negate the obvious power imbalance between Jhin and Hwei, and Hwei and Kayn

Can Hwei (/Kayn) consent when their life depend on the approval of Jhin (/Hwei)?

And that gets even clearer (in the first part) where Hwei says (about the scarifications he has gotten from Jhin): "I also had no say in the matter. And when I was offered a choice, I was already addicted to the pain."

This makes clear how much Jhin actually groomed him - because while Hwei now thinks that he makes choices, he has been taught very specific patterns of thinking and interacting with the world. Scarring Kayn and putting his mark on his skin is one of the only ways he can think of to show his love and dedication, just how Jhin taught him to think about relationships and love.

And thats where I think using Yone's POV really made sense, because Hwei and Kayn are incredibly unreliable narrators, and ofc so is Yone to a degree, but Yone is in a place to actually point out how young Hwei, and how gruesome and horrible everything is. And while he tries to push it aside, we still get the following line (which is me speaking through yone lol):

"(He) desperately tried to not think about what he had heard. Or about scars under his fingertips, hard ridges on velvety skin and on a boy that was barely of legal age."

I think it's really easy to forget how young Hwei and Kayn actually are, mostly because they view themselves with the typical teenage hubris, "we're basically adults", and because they had to learn how to fend for themselves and carry burdens too heavy for their actual age.

But Yone is in his early twenties, he has a little brother their age who he tries to protect and shield from the horrors, and I think the contrast between "Yasuo is a teenager, he should worry about school and computer games and I adore him and will protect him" and "Kayn wakes up from nightmares about SA and murder" and "Hwei carries scars cut into his skin by his fatherfigure when he was barely more than a child and never learned that he can love someone without hurting them" is staggering and hammers home just how cruel their world is.

But on the other hand Yasuo and Yone, victims of severe emotional neglect, envy the closeness between Jhin and Hwei, which reminds us how desperate children are for any kind of love and affection.

We know that Jhin is incredibly abusive, but when Yasuo says: “‘S so cool how close you are, don’t think my ma ever even hugged me.” it highlights that Hwei still gets something from Jhin that is so much more important to him than his physical and mental safety.

To Hwei Jhin is the only person who ever provided him with a sense of belonging, made him feel seen and loved and understood, he fulfills Hwei's physical and emotional needs, and that outweighs the damage he does to him otherwise. So Hwei romanticizes and justifies the abuse, because his literal life depends on pleasing Jhin.

And Jhin is by no means nothing but a horrible monster - ok, sure, he is an abusive, grooming serial killer, but I try to show that to Hwei he is much more than this, which is why the grooming works.

As an example a bit later Hwei asks Jhin if they can leave the breakfast table, and they retreat to Jhin's bedroom where he tells Hwei about their plans for the upcoming weeks, asks him how Kayn is doing with his nightmares (indicating that they regularly talk about everything that's going on in Hwei's life). Hwei also feels save enough to say that he wants to cuddle (articulating an emotional need), and later Jhin is giving him the space to sleep on his lap, which in my opinion is showing how deep their emotional relationship goes, and how much Hwei depends on Jhin in every area of his life.

The scene is wholesome and sweet, it's appears like a rather normal situation between family members, so when Hwei wakes up eye to eye with Jhin's (clothed) erection and we learn that Jhin has casually drawn porn of (17 yr old) Hwei it just hits so much harder. And in my opinion what's worse is that Hwei doesn't seem to mind, he is treating this as a normal occurrence, looks at the porn his father figure drew off him before initiating a blowjob.

And sure, Jhin apologises, but it seems to be more about the fact that Hwei knows and not about what he did. And when Jhin says "You don't have to", Hwei says "let me, please" and Jhin responds with “Of course, take whatever you want, my Rehlein.” it is again imitating consent, placing the responsibility on the shoulders of teenage Hwei instead of on the only adult in the room.

But with all we've seen throughout the entire chapter (and even more over the rest of the story) it's clear that Hwei is a child doing what he has to in order to survive and for his needs to be fulfilled. Jhin's love for him is tied to his body in various ways, to his skills and how well he can match his expectations. There is no unconditional love, and while that doesn't mean that Jhin is aware just how much he fucks Hwei up, it still leaves him a traumatized boy who never learned that he has intrinsic value.

As some of you know Hwei and Jhin had sexual interactions before this scene, but this is the first interaction between them which actually includes an orgasm.

I was very uncertain how I wanted to write their "first time", because I pride myself on writing their relationship as rather complex and I wanted this to be reflected in their sex as well. I especially didn't want to write it as nothing but porn - it would not have fitted with the tone of the fic, but also would've forced me to ignore some of the larger issues with their relationship.

So I settled for a chapter that's like 95% character exploration, plot and dialogue, and 5% smut. And while it's certainly not the hottest smut I ever wrote I think I prefer that over a chapter where the smut was more elaborate but undermined the complexity of their relationship. I really wanted to make sure that nobody comes away from this chapter with the wrong idea, Jhin might think that he is loving Hwei and that Hwei consents to everything sexual, but Hwei is in no place to do so.

The dynamic between them is based on an incredible power imbalance, a core aspect of (17 yr old) Hwei as a character is that he has no control over his life, that he is trapped in an invisible golden cage. He doesn't even know that there is a world beyond the gates, can not imagine a life where he has even a modest degree of autonomy.

And sure, he can chose if and how he wants to have sex with Kayn, Yasuo and Yone, but again, Jhin encouraged him to go out with Kayn, and Hwei still sought his approval before the foursome.

Aldo, on that note, do you remember the two times where Hwei went to Jhin with bitemarks that his boyfriend left on him simply to make sure that Jhin allowed someone else to mark his body 😭😭😭 and then worried that his literal adoptive father didn't love him anymore because Jhin didn't freak out (beyond carving fun little cuts into his breast the first time 😭😭😭)

#jhinhwei #hweikayn #kaynhwei #hwei x kayn #Lukai #hwei #lukai hwei #hwei lol #hwei league of legends #khada jhin #jhin #analyzing my own writing #jhin x hwei #hwei x jhin #child abuse #grooming #emotional manipulation

[choicesficwriterscreations]

CFWC Writer of the Month: Utterlyinevitable / Catchinglikekerosene

Each month CFWC highlights one of our many talented fanfic writers and this month’s writer of the month is @utterlyinevitable​! (Also @catchinglikekerosene ) We hope you will enjoy learning more about her and her work below! Writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

Blog: @utterlyinevitable (and @catchinglikekerosene)

Blog Masterlist

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? dom

1- When did you start playing Choices? What's the first book you played? 

I was a casual player early on - like the summer after Rules of Engagement came out early. Then I rediscovered it in 2019, playing ROD and TRR before bed. True obsession didn’t kick in until 2020 when I became enlightened to Open Heart’s existence.  

2- When, and why, did you join Choices fandom?.

I joined the fandom early summer-ish 2020, when oph2 was on their first break. Also was the instigator of my return to tumblr and the joy of fanfics. Ethan Ramsey became my pandemic hyperfixation and I NEEDED to know what happened after the 2.9 kiss!

3- How did you pick your url name? 

I never liked fandom-specific names so I went for something that could ebb and flow with my obsessions. Something about ‘delaying the inevitable’ and Ethan and MC being utterly inevitable seemed to fit 😆

4- Go back to your archive and tell us about the first post on your Choices blog. 

Oh godddd okay… 

my first ever post on my sideblog is this reblog confession about wanting an oph prequel. I’d still kill for one! 

the first post by me on my sideblog is this one calling ethan out for removing his shirt instead of just the metal parts in the fmri scene lol 

and my actual first ever post in the choices fandom is part 1 of Do We Have A Future? (on my main blog, back when the series was just a one shot) 

5- How long have you been writing fanfiction?

Noooo don’t call me out like this 😂 !! I’ve been writing since twilight was in theatres…. 

I took a very long break from it when I went off to uni

6- What is your favorite Choices book to write about?

Open Heart. I love their characterizations and how relatable and flawed all of them are. Makes for some great fic material! 

7- Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it or would you change anything about it?

Do We Have A Future? 

I love this series. Anyone who has read it will know that it’s very personal. 

The only thing I would change about it is the opportunity to make it longer. A life goal of mine is to make this series into 3 novellas. 

8- What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

It’s a tie (sorry, I can’t choose just one!). My magnum opus FATL and my longest one-shot Make Believe. I love these two because they’re emotional and driven by non-verbal cues. They’re hopeful and just a little sad. Which apparently is my brand. 

↠ For All The LiesTwo years after OHSY and after Becca left, she’s back in town and runs into Ethan. She never imagined she’d see him again, let alone to hear those words.

↠ Make Believe Ⓜ️    Becca and Ethan are cuddling in the chalet, fantasizing about what their meeting would be like if they were normal people. Set in OHSY Chapter 14.

9- Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to be, but it could use a little more love?

I’m still surprised by the love that Hurricane got! At the time it was the closest thing I’ve ever written to crack fics - a ‘protection’ prompt spiraling into something else. At one point this fic was the bane of my existence because I couldn’t get the plot just right. 

Because I’m a little vain and thrive on validation, I’ll choose a fic from each of my main pairings that could use a toot or two ;) 

An Evening in December (Bryce Lahela x F!OC) - this piece specifically is from a bigger original work project that any sort of feedback is most appreciated! 

Music & Secrets: Part 3 (Ethan Ramsey x F!MC) -  my sweet friends-to-lovers babes going on their first unofficial date! 

Again. (Ethan Ramsey x F!MC) - written with only an audience of 2 in mind, but part of the DWHAF saga and thus it belongs on a pedestal. 

10- What is your specialty as a fanfic writer?

Pain? Sadness? At one point I did win an open heart award for angst 😆 

I write realistic and flawed characters, usually not under fluffy circumstances.  

11- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? 

Angst. There are hundreds of ways any confrontation or situation could play out and I like to explore those choices and feelings. And they could have a happy ending too! 

12- Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MC’s or in your writing?

lmao yes. All my MCs have parts of me. Becca is by far my projection character, Hannah gets all my flaws, and Odette I live vicariously through.  

13- What element of writing do you struggle with most?

Descriptions! They suuuuck! 

Whenever I write a piece the first thing out of my head is the lines of dialogue. Since my fics aren’t dialogue-driven they serve as a map for all the describey bits. 

14- Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

So many in my wip graveyard and fic requests I really need to finish. 

Because of what’s happening with Roe vs Wade I’ve really been keen to finish writing my mini series Unethical, which I started writing Summer 2020. 

15- If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

This is such a loaded question! It depends on the work tbh and who the person is. My hubs is not allowed to read anything because he’d definitely be concerned, my bestie is. Though I’d only show her DWHAF or Make Believe. 

16- Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing?

So many! Fandom writers, there’s @alwaysmychoices who can have you crying in a single sentence and I admire the way she describes scenes, and the world she’s created for Ethan and Charlie. Then there’s @jamespotterthefirst who not only is an amazing writer and the queen of content, Bree has such thought-out characters, really inspires me to think past the piece I’m writing and develop my characters further. 

I’m sure there are authors that have inspired my writing and I’m blanking on them all right now. If I could ever write something with the acclaim, simplicity, and metaphorical complexity of The Great Gatsby, I’d die happy.  

17- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series? 

Is it weird that I envision all my works as a piece of film whilst writing them? 

If DWHAF ever became a bigger project, that’s what I’d like adapted. 

If I could only have one scene put to screen I’d like it to be Crescendo. 

18- Do you write original stories?

I try. There are certain fanfic pairings I have that I use specifically to help me navigate original thoughts and storylines. 

19 -  What other hobbies do you have?

Hobby? What hobby? I’m an adult. 

lol 

aside from writing and doomscrolling, I read and cook and play with my puppy. 

20 - What’s your favorite emoji? 

😂 is my most used emoji. 

21: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

Thank you @choicesficwriterscreations for selecting me! I know I haven’t been the most active recently so it means the most that I’m still being considered. Also a HUGE shout out to @gryffindordaughterofathena and @liaromancewriter for all the work they’ve been doing to maintain @openheartfanfics in my absence. This fandom is amazing and unlike any other, I am so thankful for all the friends I’ve made the last two years <3

#choices fic writers creations #cfwc writer of the month #writer of the month #utterlyinevitable #catchinglikekerosene

[plasticfangtastic]

Carnivorous Lamb ch. 4

A Homelander x M! OC fic

A/N: Happy reading, this chapter contains spicy scenes of slightly NTR nature, read at your own risk. this chapter its mostly smut lol...prev. chapter:

Tags: r18, ntr-ish, dubcon, age gap (HL is in his mid 20's, OC in his early 40's), DILF, priest kink, moral degradation, slowburn, top HL, Homie its a warning on its own.

Chapter 4

Early Spring

He was bad after all… that’s what his mother had said… that’s why his mother had smothered him… why she never stopped smothering him, why he made his father kill his mother.

He made people do bad things.

That’s why he argued with God about his calling… he must've been mistaken.

He kept people away, rid of all the pretty things in his life that were gonna do him no good but then he welcomed this one… all because he was so pretty.

Now he had broken him.

John would dissapear in the morning.

John would not come back for a long time.

The bruises he left would heal, no longer any proof that he had been here in the first place.

God spoke to him for the first time as he caught the boy on the news, his failures broadcasted for the nation to see.

He spoke with God for many dreamless nights until he understood his purpose.

On a perfect spring Monday morning he came back.

In his garden where the trees flowered readying to bring more peaches, Homelander took a step towards the building glad to see it had been painted recently.

“I should tie a bell on you.”

He almost fainted from the surprise, putting his books to the side, staring him down across the aisle.

“I could learn to knock.”

The priest smile warmly at him.

“I… I wanted to see you…” Amarello whispered.

“You wanted to see me?” he looked around as if he was speaking to somebody else and not at him.

“To know if you were alright? You left without saying goodbye… I was worried…”

The thought of him worrying for him washed away all the nerves off his being, he had done something awful to a man so kind, he had made him break his vows, made him accept his feelings and then dumped him like he was another floozy– he was special so why did he treat him like just another mud-person.

Amarello was nothing like the others… This was more than proof of that… that even after he abandoned him, he still missed him, he still worried for him.

Guilt settled quickly, knowing he had behaved so poorly to a man he should’ve appreciated. To a man who had so much space in his heart left but only for him.

The older man tore the space between them, approaching quickly just to check on the younger man.

“You've been fumbling quite a bit according to the news… have you been praying? You stopped coming for my advice so I assumed you didn’t need it anymore but I hope you still ask for some…” he bit his lips– Is my fault isn’t it? I don’t want you to feel like it's your fault, John… I did you wrong.” 

A hand wearily reached for his face, cupping his cheek glad to be welcomed, glad that the lamb nuzzled his face against his sullied touch.

“I didn’t want to hurt you. I swear. I never meant to do that… I… please don’t think I am crazy, Father… I… I have this friend inside me… sometimes… sometimes he takes control. And he’s good! but he’s angry… He has to be stronger and smarter than anybody else, even me… to protect us… he… he’s so angry… and we do these awful things…”

“It doesn’t matter, my son.”

He pulled him closer wanting to hold him in his arms, but choosing not to.

“Tell me what burdens you so heavily that you’re failing to uphold your end of the deal.”

“...end of the deal?”

“God gave you these powers for a reason… your purpose in life is to use them… not to squander them, not so you could fail at rescuing folks from a burning building… It’s my fault, no?”

His hand retreated, ashamed of touching him as those blue eyes watched him in confusion, hands creeping to the sides of the man as soon as he felt him pullign away, he wouldn’t let him go far, Homelander wanted him here with him, wanted to decipher his words with minimal effort.

“You had nowhere to put your burdens because of me… what I did to you… what I made you do… I promise I’ll help you get better…”

“It was…?”

“Is my fault that our lord its turned away from you… why all this awful had befallen you” His once light voice grew heavy– I asked for guidance, I asked and asked until I ran out of breathe to understand what I had to do to help you if you ever came back…”

A mind could conjure a hundred strange things but not more stranger than this priest bizarre words, his gaze so dead he wasn’t sure if this was a fever dream, he sunk into his shoulders, catching a whiff of his scent, wrapping his arms around him, Amarello lacked any hesitation returning his gestures with affection breathing in the clean scent of his soft John– he had made him sick, he thought.

Hence why he had become so sloppy, why he had become a caped danger, even if they saw him as great and pure, he could tell by the mountainwork of propaganda being spouted by Vought to make every mistake appear not so bad, that he was being abandoned by their heavenly father.

Remedy his mistake… he had to by any means.

“You don’t think there’s anything wrong with me…? You don’t think–

“You’re good. You should be good… there’s nothing of you that was carved wrong…. let me help you stay good.” he whispered so quietly, Homelander could’ve missed it if he hadn’t been eager to receive his compassion.

Homelander nuzzled his neck, his lips parting to take in the heated skin, his hand tugging on the cloth.

“All the disease festering in you… let me take it with me… let me carry it for you…”

His taste was sweet, as sweet as his words and his touch, as sweet as peach flowers, this body twisting and learning, adapting and molded to his needs, fast and shallow thrust fill him as the Supe continues to flourish inside of him, his body numb and hazed as the nonstop stimulation continues– as he seeks to build rivers inside him, as he seeks to flood him with all the terrible things that he held back until he’s returns as a blank slate.

Bloodied kisses return old bruises, more handprints tattooed his hips and thighs, as he squeezes and lifts him, as he continues to slam himself with wet grunts, the room echoes every wet sounds, every squeak and mewl that escapes the priest, the doors unlock and for a moment he worries that a choir member will walk in on them, if his usual drunks will walk in on them, if another lost soul would find them… how would he explain that this is not corruption– that this is spiritual medicine? or better say… ritualistic purification.

How to explain as the young men hoist him on top of him stroking his cock as his body grows limp around his shoulders, leaving his sins in the only way God would let him?

Nobody finds him, nobody finds them as the young man cleans him, his tongue savoring the mixture, tongue digging the overly stimulated entrance, it puffs and opens around his lips, crying as his body wants more, his body that’s so weak and wasted somehow craves for more and he has to stop himself from going down that train of thought.

This is merely a duty… he cannot feel pleasure from this, he cannot reward himself with the flesh, this is just the way this messenger had opted to dispose of the sinful seed, of the germinating evil within.

He’s left full of his hate and this numbing heat in his stomach, his ears unable to listen to the words of the young Homelander as he kisses his nape relentlessly.

#homelander #homelander x oc #homelander fanfiction #homelander x male oc #my fic tag #personal #this chapter its nice and short

[tortoisebore]

silly question, maybe, and I'm asking it anon because I don't want you to feel obligated /at all/ to answer (or to feel pressured to read my fic, lol) but.

my question is, how do you deal with the "pressure" of posting on ao3? I reckon for you it can be quite a lot of pressure to have so many people reading your fic / waiting anxiously for new chapters, and feeling that pressure when you're writing.

for me it's kind of the opposite - I post my stuff publically to ao3 but I barely get any hits/kudos/comments, which I know isn't the be-all-end-all of fic writing (I loooove fic writing and would continue to do it either way for my own enjoyment) but it can feel a bit daunting sometimes to post something and not feel insane pressure to /live up to high standards/.

like, I'm not delusional (most of the time), I won't be the next zeppazariel or moonymoment or whatever, but it does feel like a lot of pressure to write something PERFECT in order to be "allowed" on ao3 and receive comments and feedback and word of mouth, you know?

idk this became really rambly but I just figured you might have some good insights into this as you /seem/ really smart and I value your thoughts? anyway hope you're having a good day x

hi!! this is NOT a silly question 🫶 i’m speaking from my own experience so please take it all with a grain of salt and know that those feelings of pressure and discouragement and that need to meet a certain standard are reeeeaalllll and we all feel that at some point when doing anything in the realm of creativity

i have a very specific mindset when it comes to not just writing, but literally everything i create. i went to an art school and had all of my work ripped to shreds in public critique from age 17 on, so i built a very thick skin early and learned to separate myself from my artwork and designs. it sounds very cold, but it was/is necessary in my career and i’m thankful for it now!

all that to say i’ve carried pieces of that mindset into my creative hobbies. when i do something like write fic or make art just for the sake of making something, i’m coming at it from a place of “this is for me and me only.” i don’t find myself looking to other people for confirmation that i’m doing well because if i’m enjoying what i’m doing, that’s all that matters!

i feel like it sounds kind of arrogant to say this, but because of that, i don’t feel pressure surrounding writing fic. i write when i want, i write what i want to see, and no amount of comments asking for updates is going to change my process or make me feel guilty for taking “too long” between updates. i have a whole entire life outside of this (as do you!) and for the most part people understand that you’re a person with a hobby just trying to do something fun.

i’ve also been in fandom spaces since i was a very young teenager and i feel very familiar with the way people act surrounding fic and fic authors, so i knew what i was getting myself into when i posted the first chapter. i expected it to not be seen by many people, i expected negative comments, and i expected lots of backlash about the story not being finished when it was posted (for some reason people hate wips now????). i just got extremely lucky that someone liked it enough to post about it on tiktok, and then on twitter, and it took off from there.

i also don’t really keep track of hits/kudos other than getting the kudos emails (but i do read every single comment i get on ao3!). those numbers don’t mean much in the grand scheme of things and i try not to let them get into my head when i’m writing. i’ve also been extremely lucky in that i think i’ve had one singular kind of negative comment on the entire thing?? and it was someone that just didn’t seem happy with the slower pace of the story. i was able to look at that and be like “great, it’s my story and i don’t care <3” and move on from it quickly.

i know that this is not a universal feeling and that most people do not feel this lack of pressure and anxiety surrounding posting their work. i have such a specific set of experiences that’s led me to this level of comfort surrounding sharing my creative endeavors, and i know it’s probably not helpful to hear, but that’s how my brain has worked behind the scenes about this!

if i had any actual helpful tips to give, i think the biggest one would be to write from a place of self-indulgence! you’re going to be most passionate when you’re writing things for you, and that’s going to come through in your work. other people are out there looking for the exact things you want to write, they just haven’t found it yet.

((also use ao3 tags liberally 🫶))

this was so so so rambly and probably not very helpful i’m sorry fhfhffhfjfh if you ever want to talk more pls dm me or send another ask if u want to stay anonymous!! 💕💞✨🫶

#u ask tortoise answers #anon #i’m so so sorry this got so long and weird #i also have lots of thoughts about ‘celebrity’ fic writers #and how fandom culture surrounding fic authors as shifted so much since the pandemic #but that’s a topic for a dm i think

[psywebcomic]

ahhh so glad i found your comic it's so cool and the art is wonderful 😍 i was wondering, if i may ask, if you have any tips for getting started on a webcomic? i've had ideas floating around for years but i've never seemed to be able to get started 😭

thank you so much!! we're so glad you're enjoying it!!! :D

the rest of the answer is under the cut 'cuz it got long 😳

okay so like.. we are not very wise with this stuff, we are really just starting out ourselves. i recommend going online and seeing what other people with more experience have to say, but here's just a few things that i've learned through this process so far:

something that i think really helps is getting your friends invested so they can motivate you. Psy was just an idea spinning around in Juice's mind for a few months before I was like DUDE you need to make this because I need to see it, so I started helping him make it. that's the thing is this comic would be nothing without teamwork, so I don't know what to say to someone making a comic on their own 😔

but definitely getting people you talk to a lot invested in your story early on does a lot. our best friend Bar is a huge reason why this comic exists, bc they care about the story as much as we do. you gotta have someone to get excited about ur comic with you!!!

another thing: for us, we are purely making this comic for ourselves, and we went into it with the idea in our heads that us and our friend would be the only people reading the comic and being fine with that. make ur comic for yourself and the people who are already with you first and foremost and don't worry about a vague faceless audience's perception. that's my advice. that mindset helps us get through so much during this process lol

sorry i don't really have any practical tips or anything cause like we really do not know what we are doing either. we've already learned so so much just with these first few chapters and we still have a looooooong way to go.

also i personally recommend hosting on your own website. you can do that for free with neocities, like we did! you can even use the same template! if you don't know how to code, they have lots of tutorials on there. i've been teaching myself to code a little bit for this thing, and it's so so worth it. (it is probably better for visibility to host ur comic on a site like tapas or webtoons, but honestly we don't really want the visibility that badly... we just want to tell a story to ourselves and our friends... that's all up to you! and even if you do host it on one of those websites, it's good to have a mirror of it on your own website for safety)

ok that's all i have to say, juice has a few more things to add so i'll let it do that

-cat

so something ive really needed to come over to even actually make this comic was to get my ideas out instead of letting them ferment in my mindspace. ive had this idea for a while now, but didnt make anything of it cause i had this desire to make sure i have every detail before starting, but if i did that, i would've never started it!! thats my only input like if ur the type to do this, dont let the perfectionist in u stop u from completing shit. there will be so many mistakes. u will want to go back to change them. just keep going forward :)

-juice

#asks #rooflizards

[dreamwritesimagines]

It’s CMA-

I lied I got started on part 3 almost immediately after I sent that last ask about part 2. I told myself I would go to bed and wait for the morning and yet here I am.

It’s interesting that in chapter 7(?) we see clover lash out as a result of her fear. It’s the first time of many that we see, and I’m sure that it happens a lot. I think that she’ll have to learn to stop herself and be careful before she gets to that place of being so triggered that she hurts everyone around her, but that’s much easier said than done.

I wonder if she realizes that she hurts the people around her more when she bottles things up than when she talks about them. Not that she’s in a position to be worried about everyone else when she’s in those states, and I understand the temptation of bottling things up (I am a master of that particular skill), but I do wonder if she’ll become self aware enough or have the hindsight to realize that the ways that she’s trying to protect everyone is actually hurting her and by extension everyone around her as well.

Actually I was going to mention that Ben could identify her warning signs before she herself can recognize them, and then I realized something kind of funny, which is that for people who have service dogs, one of the things they do is to warn their owner of potentially triggering events and protect them from them. Not only that, but service dogs, especially those for mental health conditions, are trained to identify early warning signals (fidgeting, shallow breathing, accelerated heart rate, rigid body language, literally smelling fear, etc.) in order to prevent the situation from escalating.

Many animals do this because they are experts at reading body language- it’s the way that they’re able to communicate with us and everything else in the world. It’s not unusual at all for a pet dog or cat to respond to their owner/person they’re bonded to’s distress by comforting them in some way. It’s the entire reason why dogs will come up and cuddle you when you’re crying or whatever.

(Actually I now would love for them to get a pet who naturally does this for clover and signals her by distracting her or barking or something, so that she and benedict both know and can do something about it. This is going into my personal headcanons about their future lmao)

Anyway this is funny because Ben is essentially her service dog: an outside observer that can let her know when she’s showing signs of distress since she is incapable of/has trouble with recognizing these signs within herself on her own. Ben or the pet could also teach her how to recognize these signs within herself, so it would be really great all around.

I’m so in love with the Perseus/andromeda analogy it’s not even funny. Greek mythology paired with your work>>>>>>> (and I know you do it a lot and I love it so much, idk if I’d ever mentioned that)

It’s an interesting parallel of clover being able to see every pairing besides her own, and nobody else is able to see any pairing but hers.

OMG what if during Ben and Charlie’s shenanigans Ben always makes Charlie the lookout and has her distract whoever’s coming to get them in trouble, aka Anthony. Ben and Charlie think it’s because they’re both very sneaky and good at what they do, but really anthony fully knows what they are up to and only lets them get away with it because it’s charlie, makes her laugh, and gives him an excuse to talk to her.

Bonus of sometimes Anthony straight up forgets or doesn’t realize what’s happening because he’s too besotted with her lol.

Let’s be real: half the reason why pen has the early scoop on all the couples before anyone else realizes is because clover is pointing them out and no one else is listening to her lmao

A/N: I wrote everything up to hear weeks ago when I sent the other parts of my reread but then I got sidetracked by finals and a different fandom and a lot of life stuff happened, but I’m back and determined to write more analysis for them; let’s do this thing

(probably will have to break it off soon tho cuz it’s already pretty long)

(actually I’m debating straight up starting from the beginning because so much has happened since I was writing this)

(actually amendment, fuck it I’m going to start from the beginning and go to a different ask so it doesn’t get confusing. guess it will just be another night where I should be going to bed but instead am obsessing over ur work lmao)

OMG OMG CMA MY BELOVED😍❤️

I needed this so much rn, you're amazing! ❤️ Aaaaaa I'm so excited! ❤️

So I totally think that being with Benedict makes her improve not with her reactions to other people but also herself🥰 Like, it is second nature to her to lash out especially considering her trauma, but also, Benedict is being so soft and careful with her that she is actually turning soft and careful as well❤️ Like how she was with Eloise the last chapter, if it were any other time she wouldn't have bothered to make her feel calm and assured, but she actually made an effort and that's Benedict's influence on her😍

Service dogs omg YES🥰 She and Benedict needs to have a cute dog! Everyone in the world needs a dog thank you for coming to my TED talk 😂

Golden retriever bf - black cat gf dynamic strikes again! 😂❤️

MYTHOLOGY IS MY PASSION 😍 Aw I'm so happy to hear that you enjoy it as well my love!🥰

Anthony has had a soft spot for Charlie ever since they were all little ❤️ That's so cuteeee! ❤️

Charlie distracts Anthony so well 😏🥰

WAIT OH MY GOD I AM ALREADY SCREAMING-

I love love LOVE your analyses and I'm legit giggling already, thank you so so so much darling! ❤️🥰 ILY! ❤️❤️❤️

[dick-the3rd]

1 and 8 for the year in review?

ohoho, okay, here we go (if you're curious you can get your questions here)

1. What's something new you tried in a fic this year? This was the year I wrote the most, so there is plenty of things I could say here, but by far I think the biggest new thing was writing in english from the go. Before this year I wrote in portuguese, and if I needed I translated to english. Silverblood was the first fic I wrote this year and it also was the first fic I wrote in english. How did it turn out? I think it's pretty good? What I was most worried about was vocabulary, I was afraid I would repeat structures and words, so I used a lot of google translate, especially to translate from english to portuguese to see if what I wrote made sense. Would you do it again? Not only I would but I did, every fic I wrote since was in english. It's one of those things that gets easier with practice, not exactly because I learn more, but because the more I write, the more confident I get, so I'm less afraid to let my mind focus on the story instead of focusing on the action of writing. Also I proofread at least once, so that helps.

(breaking this here so it doesn't get too long on the dash)

8. What fic made you feel the happiest to work on? Can I say all of them? I want to say all of them. One of my 2022 resolutions was to write more, and this is something I actually achieved this year, so pretty much every fic made me happy because I was actually doing it, writing instead of just letting the story exist on my head. Also, happy is such a strong word lol. The fic I had more fun writing was probably the one I did for you for the bthb, The way home. The fic I'm probably proudest is We are the dreams we can dream. My favorite fic is Estranged, if only because I like the ideas in it (I feel like I posted it too early so now I'm always fighting the urge to re-write it). But happiest to work on... I'm going to say Silverblood. For several reasons I think, Silverblood challenged me in so many ways. The english thing was one, its size was another, the limits of my writing ability became a especial problem on the third and fourth chapter... So I think it made me happiest to work on because right now, looking back, I'm happy I didn't gave up on it and also that I didn't try to make it simpler just so it would be easier to write.

Whew. I talked too much, but I think this is it? I'm not a very prolific writer, but oh dear do I have thoughs about everything I write.

#asks games #disniq

[horce-divorce]

so like. I live in a really rural area where all minorities tend to be very underserved from a community standpoint. like when I was growing up here in the 90s/early aughts it was just. Not Really A Thing to be queer. my friend was the one (1) person in our high school who was out as gay for those 4 years. I never met another trans person until I was 21 years old, living and working in a mall in another state. to this day I don't think there's even any support groups around here (there's a PFLAG offshoot that meets here twice a month, but it's not even our city's because we don't have our own PFLAG chapter- it's associated w the one in the next nearest town).

so it was pretty cool to learn that a few years ago, some folks actually got Pride going in my hometown, and it was a pretty huge success? It went for a few years, I wanna say 2-3. they did have counter protestors at first, but so few of them compared to how many people were at Pride that they looked foolish and literally gave up lol.

unfortunately a lot of the people who were involved in that have moved away. the group organizing Pride dissolved and we haven't had another one since I've been back. but EVERYONE I know who saw it says they miss it terribly and want to see it happen again.

I've been petsitting for a friend who is herself part of the queer community and also a therapist, and she's new to the area and really trying to grapple with like. Rural queer life, having come here from a big metro area. She sees that there is very much a need for connection out here and is trying to see how she can serve that need in her capacity as a therapist. She might help facilitate an LGBT youth support group- which I think may be the first of it's kind around here, if she pulls it off- and she asked ME if I would help her with this stuff. (Mainly bc like. We don't know any other queer people out here LMAO.)

So that's cool, and we've already met some really fascinating and kind folks doing community organizing around here and working on stuff I never would have thought folks were working on out here already. Like racial justice stuff, and working with the police on de-escalation and mental health responses, all kinds of stuff.

Now THAT stuff is all happening in the aforementioned Other Town Over. but the more I'm talking to these folks, the ones out here actually doing shit, the more I'm like... hey it sucks that (my hometown/region) doesn't even have a facebook group for queers around here, let alone spaces to meet IRL. and also, it sucks that we had pride and now we don't, because it clearly is well needed and was a huge success. (Actually the one time we had a FB group it was for the people doing Pride, but when that disbanded it became a private group with <100 members and tbh it feels awkward to try and join that.)

All this stuff has just kinda been percolating in my mind, along with the realizations of like... Sometimes you just have to show up, or make a page, or do whatever, and see who else shows up. That doesn't make it easy but someone has to take that step. And looking at all of this now, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..... It might be... me? I might have to do it. If I want to see that stuff happen in my time living here. Which is just a WILD thought to me but like. Here we are? And even other people are approaching me and kinda asking me to do this stuff? Wow!

So anyway even though I hate social media, I've been thinking maybe a FB page would be a good place to start. Like literally just make one and see who shows up and what happens. It's a place to start anyway.

It's just TERRIFYING. bc like... I have a couple queer friends who would prob join my group, but who surely wouldn't be interested in moderating or anything like that. So it would literally just be me vs bumfuck county unless/until other people started to join. Even just for a Facebook group I KNOW I'd have to be doing damage control and moderating and explaining things and it's kind of back to my dilemma from when I was a teenager, the one that drove me back into the closet for so long... Who's gonna have my back for that??? Cus it ain't my cishet family who live here LMAO. I want other queer people in the area to have that, but I can't make it happen all alone.... But also, I'm all alone because we don't even have a Facebook page. Somebody's gotta bite the bullet and just do it ykwimean.

I dunno y'all it's a lot to think about! Tbh I've been having a similar dilemma about forums (I could do it, I could just make a forum and see who shows up, but alas, the long silences, the learning curve for ppl who only know social media, the trolls, I just don't know)... A Facebook group could be similar to a forum. Perhaps easier in some ways and immeasurably worse in others. My friend encouraged me to do it but I need more than one person to back me up lol.

Just pondering about it all, but I'm open to feedback from folks if you have it. It would be validating at least, cus I've skimmed this idea past my two (2) whole friends here and they're both kind of generally positive about it but understand my hesitation, and they think I should try to get things rolling if I want to, but that's where it ends. none of us really knows what's the best way to go about it. But we're all starved for queer fellowship and we all wanna see Pride happen again... Much to consider....

#me #prsnl

[sugarbundust]

updates; blurb; semi-rant

ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ At the home-stretch! Wanted to try to post early, but the last few days have been a bit chaotic.

tl;dr til next bold point - Money issues, and a random ass deer deciding it wants to live rent-free in my yard lmao

So many job interviews while being on/off sick, and then got sent bills for additional things we didn’t anticipate having to deal with (like a giant tree in our front yard the township decided it wants to cut down, but the law in our State is we have to pay??? I’m;??;). So I had to try and sell a bunch of things for quick cash, because they won’t work with us for a payment plan.

Goodbye special edition Pokémon Nintendo Switch, and majority of our games and manga. 😑 (Also why are these town services so expensive????) 

I’m incredibly salty. I keep telling myself it’s only monetary goods we can rebuy when we’re not hurting financially, but it’s still upsetting. I hate having to sell stuff. Our savings are pretty much depleted by now, so that’s a looming cloud that’s just the best. /s 

Got some positive news about one potential source of income, though, so knocking on wood that that works out. 🤞🏻

Then today we found out a pregnant deer somehow got into our gated backyard and had a baby, and it was in the middle of a rain storm so bad you could barely see. 😵‍💫 

For context, I live in a town. Deer like this don’t ever wander around here. I can count on a single hand the amount of times I’ve seen them (and never in our yard!). They’re way, way more common farther up by the river, which is like a half-hour drive, so I guess it wandered and got lost? They just... they don’t live here lmao it’s too many people/cars, no shelter or trees for them to hide, etc.

And I don’t say all that because I’m enamored by the fact that they exist—I’m actually very used to deer being around, due to living in areas where they’re far more common. They would run in huge herds through my parents’ property when growing up, along with bear and the like. 

It was just super weird to see one at random when our gates are too tall for them to normally jump???? Like, we don’t even know how she got in?? The baby deer couldn’t get out on its own, we had to help them both leave and stay united, and also panic that they don’t go running into a street with cars. @w@

So that was fantastic way to start the day, being in the heavy rain with a dog that I had to walk, and being surprised by and then advanced on by an angry/panicked mother deer. I don’t need to be trampled lmao and right after I woke up, sans coffee 😂 It was a good thing I had my dog on a leash for all parties involved lmao 

It’s one of those weeks where it’s like, what else can happen?

Also, for those wondering, yes, both deer are fine. 

Now, the positives! Got a lot of editing done last night. Went through over half of the chapter, making it more coherent and trimming fat. Only a small chunk left to go, and then I can post and start drafting the next chapter. Got a bunch of ideas for that, but I’m trying to figure out how far I can stretch things before the fighting/action-scenes begin again. I don’t want to have another mini arc turn into a full-blown ten chapter episode (thank you again, Shinsou). 😂 But there are a few things I want to touch on before we get to the 1-VS-1s. I hope it will be entertaining!

Also had to redo my embedded blockquotes all over again (Thank you AO3 for not following my inputted HTML every time I Save Draft.) lol, so I’m really hoping mobile-readers are going to be okay 🥲  It’s actually worse than the chapter with Aizawa’s learned packet breakdown. OTL If it’s not easily legible when posted, I sincerely apologize!! I tried for a ridiculously long time to make it work 😭 

I’m not going to do deep-set blockquotes going forward. This was it lmao. I understand now why most people just create graphics and embed them into their work 😭💀 Rich Text to HTML conversion was hard enough already. (Why did I make so much more work for myself? lol I always seem to do this. 😂)

But alas. Gonna try to finish tonight! ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ I hope it will be worth it! ❤️

#updates #blurb

[lil-spider]

So Damn Pretty

Chapter 7

Part 6 : Part 8 :

Pairing: Johnny Slaughter X Female Reader

Summary: Johnny is sex starved and you’re very attractive, so attractive that he doesn’t want to kill you. Instead he finds ways to keep you around longer.

Note: Stockholm syndrome is in full play now and pls don’t hate me lol.

Warning: This is 18+ and please do not read if your sensitive to heavy descriptions of non/con and violence. Including bondage, blood, gore, assault, cheating, objectification and unsafe sex. For those who don’t mind, I hope you enjoy.

Many days have passed—about three and a half weeks since Johnny last touched me—and it has been driving me crazy.

We’ve been getting closer, taking nightly walks through the beautiful sunflower field. It became my favourite part of the day. After dinner, he and I would sneak off outside, talking to me about his interests or whatever he did for the day, and I would tell him mine. We chew on sunflower seeds and sit in a run-down car, watching the sunset fade into the night. We’re steadily learning more about each other; on rare occasions, he opens up to me, and during such times, I see him as a broken young man rather than a monster.

But now our walks have ceased, as has the sex. He’s been neglecting me, making me miss his cock and touch. I so desperately want to fuck him. We were having sex almost every day since I arrived, and now, nearly a month of no action has taken a toll on me. I've become increasingly frustrated and exhausted. 

It doesn't help that Nubbins has been pointing out that I look fatter around the stomach and chest, making crude remarks about how full my breasts appear, until Sissy smacks him on the back of the head for his rudeness. He just immaturely blows raspberries at her.

Nubbin's is right. I've noticed that I've gained some weight and that I've become considerably hungrier. Which has me concerned. At dinnertime, I've started eating more, going for seconds unintentionally, impressing everyone at dinner.

Johnny’s ban on leaving the house by himself has been lifted since I arrived; according to Sissy, he has been using his new freedom to drive up town to local bars. I know more meat has been stocked up after his nights out; I only see him bring back supplies or cigarettes; no bodies, thankfully. Most days, I know that he helps Drayton at the gas station. I overheard them one time talking about me working there with one of them. It honestly sounds refreshing to have some new scenery, even if I have to work.

My chores around the house are becoming more routine. Sissy and I spend all of our time together; she's come up with fun things to do, either playing some card games or listening to music on her record player. She’s been great, like a sister I’ve always wanted. We’ve been getting closer as Johnny’s been busy. I even spent time with Bubba outside in the gardens, planting some new flowers as he brought over the heavy soil, with Sissy teaching him. He is like a puppy, exploring his surroundings. I've actually started enjoying myself here, almost forgetting about my old life.

I'm currently lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, lost in thought. It’s peaceful in the early morning. Drayton, whom I've picked up the habit of calling Mr. Sawyer, drove off to the gas station a few minutes ago, waking me up with his grumbling downstairs as he left the house.

I have come to be attuned to the footsteps of everyone. Johnny is very heavy-footed, while Sissy and Nubbins are very quiet. Drayton scatters around while Bubba thunders up the stairs with no care. It helps me figure out what is happening around me.

I’m no longer locked in my room. Being here so long, working, and not bothering to escape has rewarded me with trust, and honestly, I'm not sure if it's even worth trying to leave. I've just adapted to my new environment so well that I don't see a point in leaving. especially since I don't want to disappoint Johnny either.

I’ll do anything to have him inside me again. The more I think about his thick cock,large muscles, and handsome face, the throbbing below increases. I move my hand down, sliding it under my panties, gently placing a finger in my engorged clit, rubbing it in small circles.

I breathlessly moan and pinch my left nipple while imagining Johnny. His cock stood tall as he stroked his hardness, sitting on his bed, waiting for me. I want to lick his throbbing tip and hear his groans. I picture myself sucking him off, taking his whole cock to the back of my throat. I go to climb on top of him, letting his fat cock slide inside me as I start riding him. My hands are on his chest as I bounce. The more I imagine, the faster I rub my clit. I squeeze my thighs together as my orgasm comes quickly. I pull my hand back while sighing in disappointment; it’s not as good. But it does the job.

Feeling a little relieved, I roll over and prepare to get some more sleep until I hear another truck drive up. It’s Johnny's. I lay there, listening to him slam his truck door and loudly enter the house. Like always, he chucks his keys on the kitchen table, but instead of going to his shed, I hear his footsteps go downstairs to the basement.

The familiar sound of the basement door opening and closing spikes my curiosity. He rarely goes to the basement, only if he needs to help Bubba, but it's too early for Bubba to be awake, so I'm desperate to know what he's up to.

I contemplate going, fear of consequences rousing, but my yearning for Johnny runs deeper. I get up off the bed and pull a short black, long-sleeved maxi dress over myself.

Choosing to go barefoot, I carefully open the bedroom door, not to awaken anyone, and cautiously descend the stairs, making my way to the basement. I glide past the red wall displayed with an arrangement of animal skulls. Arriving in front of the basement door, I gently slide it across the opening, leaving just a big enough gap for me to slide in. Leaving it open, I glance around the hellish pit of the household. A red hue cascades over the lair. Its pungent odour, with which I had found it vile, is now somewhat familiar.

I pick up his voice coming from one of the rooms they keep the victims in. I should turn back; it’s not my business, and I could get in trouble for putting my nose where it doesn't belong. Creeping forward, I forget my worries as I develop an itching sensation that can only be relived by finding out what Johnny is doing. Tip-toeing over to the door like a little mouse, I squat near the door and peek through the gaps. The sight before me made me realise I should have never left the bed.

A woman with long, shiny black hair who has her wrists tied behind her back with a zip-tie is crying out while voluntarily riding Johnny’s cock. My fingers dove tightly into my hands as I witnessed Johnny fuck another woman. He grips her shapely hips against him. Thrusting up into her as he lays back on an old, dirty mattress

The unknown woman throws her head back while increasing her moans. Johnny continues his restless pounding. I watch his thick cock slathered in their juices go up and down inside her. Her large chest was bouncing along. She’s moaning Johnny’s name with a sultry voice as she leans over him, pushing her chest into his face.

Mixed emotions take over: arousal, jealousy, and insecurity. I feel so hurt and betrayed, and yet I can’t look away. I’m finally seeing Johnny after so long. I squeeze my thighs together, rubbing them for relief as he moves his right hand off her hip, going between her legs and rubbing her clitoris. Uncontrollable tears leak from my eyes as I cover my mouth, muffling my whimpers.

They change positions; he sits up and pushes her down, sucking on her hard nipples while fucking her into the mattress violently. I’m unable to do anything. I want to snap her fucking neck off. My pussy throbs while embarrassingly soaking my underwear. I just want to shove her away and get fucked by him instead. She’s now obnoxiously yelling about how she's about to cum, and now I want to leave. I can’t watch this anymore. I don’t want to see Johnny finish with her.

I sneak back up the stairs, closing the metal door gently behind me, and rush back upstairs to my room. I go under the sheet and lay on the bed. My clit throbs, but I’m so jealous that I just want to curl up. I start to cry from all these overwhelming emotions, trying to take deep breaths to calm myself. I hug my pillow, biting into it out of utter frustration.

I take deep breaths, trying to calm down. Salty tears and snot drip from my face as I cry into my pillow. We were never together, but it still feels like I was betrayed. I worked so hard to fit in here like he wanted, and he fucks another woman! Is she the first? How many girls has he gone through? Is he going to replace me now? The idea of being replaced makes my chest tighten, and more tears spill out as I become more upset.

Wiping my face with the sleeve of my dress, I decide to go to one person who can give me some answers. To understand what’s going to happen to me. Getting up, I leave my room and go over to Sissy’s. I knock lightly on her door and wait for her while continuing to wipe my tears. 

She opens up with a bright smile, but it falters as she sees my red nose and weeping face. Sissy wraps her thin arms around me, enveloping me. I return the much-needed hugs as she brings me into her room.

“Oh sug', what’s got ya’ all blue?” She pulls me along to sit on her bed as she grabs a tissue, wiping my face.

 

I try to control my words, but I just stutter out what I witnessed in the basement with Johnny. I mention to her, in vague terms, what I saw. "I knew it wasn’t my business, but I got curious as he’s been so busy, but I didn’t expect that!” I exclaimed. 

Sissy nods her head in understanding, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear as I sniffle. She holds my hands, squeezing them in reassurance. She tells me about how he’s always brought girls home. Goes out to bars and brings them back for the household.

“Ya’ have been the only one that he hasn’t killed; ya’ family, now he ain’t going to replace ya’ pumpkin.” As much as her words comfort you, your feelings don’t go away.

“It’s just.. he’s threatened it about to me before.” I say tearfully as she gets up off the bed and pulls you up with her.

“Don’t ya’ worry, Y/N; he likes ya’ trust me.” She smiles and hugs me again. After our little talk, Sissy and I started our morning chores early. It’s a good distraction, but awful scenarios keep replaying in the back of my mind, and it’s absolutely frustrating.

I hear Johnny coming up from the basement while I'm doing the dishes. I approach him to have a conversation, but he simply takes his keys and walks out the front door, shutting it behind him. His vehicle starts up, and he speeds away from the property. He did not even look at me. The distance between us stings. How cruel, having me live here and putting me through misery simply to neglect me for another woman. I storm into the backyard and start crying uncontrollably, telling Sissy what happened and she tries to console me. She just strokes my head as I cry my emotions into her shoulder.

After my little episode, I spent the majority of my day outside pruning the flowers. Sissy made me some lemonade and went off somewhere; she doesn’t need to babysit me all day anymore, so I spend most of my time outside gardening. It relaxes me. I finish trimming and gather an assortment of flowers for inside to liven up the place.

I returned inside after putting away the gardening equipment. It’s the afternoon, and supper is almost ready. I chose to use an old, empty glass vase I found outdoors in the tool shed to hold the flowers. I go to the kitchen to fill the vase, but just as I'm almost done, I'm startled to see Johnny, still as handsome as ever, grab my shoulder.

"Need ya’ to come with me." He says this, turning away and making his way towards the basement.

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