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#we also have no money combined
ozcarr · 4 months
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Actually cleaned a little for NYE so the apartment is presentable and I feel like bragging about how much our (roommate is @hateno) place rules
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dihalect · 6 months
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my department is apparently no longer hybrid, but “on-site with ad-hoc remote work”. i’m just gonna see how long i can get away with ignoring that
#txt#i do have an accommodation that says i can wfh when i have a migraine.#but when i was asking for the accommodation i guesstimated that that’d intersect with my in-person days like once or twice a month.#i do absolutely need to have the option to wfh multiple times per week.#but getting an accommodation for THAT is going to be way more difficult. bc it’s not JUST migraines‚ it’s a combination of my various psych#afflictions and not-properly-diagnosed chronic pain *and* the complex whole-body rube goldberg pain machine that is my chronic migraines.#it’s not necessarily ‘i will be in unbearable pain if i do this’.#it’s ‘i will be perpetually drained and my low-level pain will be worse snd i will have no life outside of work and recuperating from work’.#it’s also weird that they’re ending hybridhood *now*.#it’s not like we’re at a particular milestone in pandemic recovery. although our admin did mention entering a ‘busy period’.#it’s not even necessary lmao. we get by fine. we get by BETTER when we’re not all there.#oh man. i just realized. everyone being on-site is gonna make the autism/anxiety so much worse.#i honestly think this policy shift might be related to me.#bc our program director started emphasizing the importance of being onsite on x days… shortly after i started working hybrid‚ but had to wfh#on some of those days#for disability reasons.#anyway. government pleeeaaase give my old lab more money so i can go back. pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaazeeeee#edited
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bunnyb34r · 4 months
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Well glad to know I'm not the only one not feeling the Christmas season this year. Mom isnt either
Now we dont know why, but here are my guesses. Feel free to place your bets.
Is it:
Bc our aunt/great-aunt died and essentially dissolved the family
|_> Bc of this we've faced so much bullshit from the surviving family we have left.
Bc the only remaining family we have are major assholes aside from like 4 people.
Long covid?
Work stress/ working under a tyrant piece of shit.
Bc I'm an adult now so the *magic* is gone?
All of the above??
#marquilla#we still havent made cookies and are like i want the cookies but i dont want to make the cookies...#so we agreed we can do it after christmas if need be#i really think it's all of that combined. like my g-aunt dying really tore this family apart. we weren't like close close before but i mean#everyone started taking sides (the executors (my mom) vs my cousins. like listen you motherfuckers she left you [insert number bc i also#got this amount and am not disclosing]. you little freaks need to get over the fact that she loved me as much as if not more than you.#maybe bc i wasn't a fucking entitled brat and was always a polite well behaved child (for her) and didnt take my mommy/daddy issues out on#her. you already got: 2 free cars. 3 fully paid for weddings. 4 college degrees (one that you're not even using bc you havent worked since#college bc you became a tradwife. (not dissing stay at home moms im dissing her making college a BIG DEAL for her and then just#essentially saying haha thanks for the 100k in tuition but no ❤). COUNTLESS hours and money poured#into your lives from her and our g-uncle. amongst the 4 of you. (only 1 is not a brat but thats bc they pretend she doesnt exist bc shes#annoying and autistic so a drain on them they were ever so happy to dump on their dad)#you aren't entitled to any of that. that was a GIFT. your inheritance was well thought out. it is an insult for you to suggest otherwise#anyway so theyre being whiny brats and oh boo hoo you exects are SO MEAN to poor Ally who didnt sign the fucking will and thus held up#$50k FROM A CHURCH. and my uncle (not their dad. their moms brother) is taking their side. his wife is a massive piece of shit ab it too.#dont know whose side dog cousin is on bc shes close to my mom but very close to them. and i know lesbian cousin is on moms side to some#degree. and idgaf what Murderer cousin thinks bc that bitch can and will rot in hell.#so anyway any one we could possibly spend time with this season is either dead or hates us. or lives states away and won't be in til after#and only for a day anyway. and we just dont have the fucking energy to deal with anything
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flamboyant-king · 1 year
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Magfest was fun! Walked around as Cammy, made a lot of “merch,” talked to a bunch of cool dudes, traded wares, met new friends and finally met old ones, got a jello shot from a Raccacoonie cosplayer, ate so much awful food, learned of new games, and got inspired.
I made so many buttons of cammypus and other funny creatures, folded 50+ origami boxes for the perler bead crafters, and drew on any paper I can find. It was nice and now I have no money.
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bitchfitch · 2 years
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I might be getting a service dog next year (a friend has an AKC registered lab who's a pet due to an injury but who's dam was a hunting dog and the sire a service dog, and the planned sire is a service dog and has already had pups who proved out as good service dogs. and she offered to let me buy one of the puppies from her for cheap because she's a really good friend) . Which is exciting and would be a massive help because a service dog prospect puppy can cost thousands just for the pup with no training and you'll be on the waiting list for years before its even born. but the price tag on getting this pup trained is giving me palpations lmao.
That might be what gets me to finally e-beg El oh el.
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prommy i'm not trying to liveblog which i can't even do extensively b/c while i Must speak at length, it sure takes time and effort all the same. but i'm hype delighted again like, midway through, talking to the mvp brasso friend with this kind of....not entirely sure what blue collar gig he's got here lol but. cassian walking up and their earnest exchange turning into cassian's ;0 ;0 ;0 [no Actual obvious cues abt the transition] implicitly asking him for an alibi by "correcting" him about what he did last night, as what They did last night. and my taking a second to catch on just like the other guy brasso, Immersive. and i love the way things don't feel like predictable such that there's no slight surprises / reasons to be attentive like this, but also aren't like confusing or incomprehensible. i'm already hype remembering how brasso here responds by just rolling with it, seguing right into playing along, and then their talking between the lines of their story they're constructing together. hype enough i'll leave this open while i actually watch through the rest of the exchange. ooh yeah the way you're kind of waiting along as well to see if brasso's "correction" to their story here is going to be a rejection of it, but actually he's adding to it to cover cassian being a bit banged up And to even extend the story to include a reason they're now standing together talking right at this very moment. ah and i guess they're coworkers also? even though cassian's plot allows for no day job material that we see
also that i'm hype b/c it's like, heartwarming lol, this guy is just like yeah i've got you with your cover story even though i don't now what for and cassian didn't try to answer who might be asking for it. the way you get the lore that cassian gets into trouble already and the way that if someone's in trouble that can get the people around them in trouble, if someone's vulnerable that can make the people around them vulnerable, and obviously that's not ideal but also there's nothing for it and you can't throw them to the wolves, or rather, you sure can but the like effective collective punishment of it all to preclude its being easier to unionize or indeed help insulate each other from whatever vulnerability is like, the deliberate strategy, of course it's best re: that strategy if taking on the inherent increased vulnerability of being involved with, or supporting, or helping other people is deemed not worth it, or gets people focused on blaming the people in trouble rather than the people behind whatever reprisal instead. fun understandable moments when bix is head in hands about helping cassian out in a pinch, and then when her space boyf is like look as her space ex who seems to always be stressing her out when you come by i'm not the biggest fan, and that he responds to cassian's brushoff abt her being tougher than both of them with the line along the lines of "i'm getting tired of hearing that" is like, again yeah fun understandable lol but then narcing on cassian to get the space cops to solve his problem? like, not the way, and of course now pointing the feds in that direction doesn't just smoothly work out, the comeuppance in his dying b/c calling this down on them also gets bix caught up in things, you're all [handshake] w/cassian in this scenario in how you're viewed here and that None of your best interests will be catered to today....nothing for it trying to get anything out of the [police state life] situation, nor is the way that if anyone's more vulnerable than everyone else, you just shut them out or push them in front of the bus, even if the bus is cruising around trying to pick up them specifically. metaphors. feels all like v apt setup for the more significant return to ferrix at the end involving maarva bringing some politics like "i'm the first brick at stonewall, we can't Just get by forever" and cassian like well i Will be having to come through for bix though. wrote it, post it
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galactichelium · 2 years
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I wanna draw so bad but I just don't really have any ideas. I think I had an idea before Splatoon 3 came out? But I completely have forgotten it since then because I've been obsessively playing it since Splatoon 3 came out. And I WOULD draw something Splatoon-related but tbh I kinda wanna draw my usual Homestuck stuff right now. But yeah, just got no ideas. (And also, even if I did, I'm still stuck in my "Playing Splatoon 3 obsessively" mode, so little to no drawing would get done anyway most likely).
I wish the Switch would show you how many hours you've put into a game sooner. Like it currently says for me "First played 10 days ago" like c'mon, surely now it's been long enough where I can see how many hours I've put into the game. However I can say somehow I put 15 hours into the splatfest world premiere. Y'know, the one that was supposed to only last 12 hours. That means I spent at least 3 hours prior to the actual splatfest starting just walking around the square.
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getvalentined · 10 months
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An open letter to @staff
I already submitted this to Support under "Feedback," but I'm sharing it here too as I don't expect it to get a response, and I feel like putting in out in public may be more effective than sending it off into the void.
The recent post on the Staff blog about changing tumblr to an algorithmic feed features a large amount of misinformation that I feel staff needs to address, openly and honestly, with information on where this data was sourced at the very least.
Claim 1: Algorithms help small creators.
This is false, as algorithms are designed to push content that gets engagement in order to get it more engagement, thereby assuring that the popular remain popular and the small remain small except in instances of extreme luck.
This can already be seen on the tumblr radar, which is a combination of staff picks (usually the same half-dozen fandoms or niche special interests like Lego photography) which already have a ton of engagement, or posts that are getting enough engagement to hit the radar organically. Tumblr has an algorithm that runs like every other socmed algorithm on the planet, and it will decimate the reach of small creators just like every other platform before it.
Claim 2: Only a small portion of users utilize the chronological feed.
You can find a poll by user @darkwood-sleddog here that at the time of writing this, sits at over 40 THOUSAND responses showing that over 96 percent of them use the chronological feed*. Claiming otherwise isn't just a misstatement, it's a lie. You are lying to your core userbase and expecting them to accept it as fact. It's not just unethical, it's insulting to people who have been supporting your platform for over a decade.
Claim 3: Tumblr is not easy to use.
This is also 100% false and you ABSOLUTELY know it. Tumblr is EXTREMELY easy to use, the issue is that the documentation, the explanations of features, and often even the stability of the service is subpar. All of this would be very easy for staff to fix, if they would invest in the creation of walkthroughs and clear explanations of how various site features work, as well as finally fixing the search function. Your inability to explain how your service works should not result in completely ignoring the needs and wants of your core long-term userbase. The fact that you're more willing to invest in the very systems that have made every other form of social media so horrifically toxic than in trying to make it easier for people to use the service AS IT WORKS NOW and fixing the parts that don't work as well speaks volumes toward what tumblr staff actually cares about.
You will not get a paycheck if your platform becomes defunct, and the thing that makes it special right now is that it is the ONLY large-scale socmed platform on THE ENTIRE INTERNET with a true chronological feed and no aggressive algorithmic content serving. The recent post from staff indicates that you are going to kill that, and are insisting that it's what we want. It is not. I'd hazard to guess that most of the dev team knows it isn't what we want, but I assume the money people don't care. The user base isn't relevant, just how much money they can bring in.
The CEO stated he wanted this to remain as sort of the last bastion of the Old Internet, and yet here we are, watching you declare you intend to burn it to the ground.
You can do so much better than this.
Response to the Update
Under the cut for readability, because everything said above still applies.
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I already said this in a reblog on the post itself, but I'm adding it to this one for easy access: people read it that way because that's what you said.
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Staff considers the main feed as it exists to be "outdated," to the point that you literally used that word to describe it, and the main goals expressed in this announcement is to figure out what makes "high-quality content" and serve that to users moving forward.
People read it that way because that is what you said.
*The final results of the poll, after 24 hours:
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136,635 votes breaks down thusly:
An algorithm based feed where I get "the best of tumblr." @ 1.3% (roughly 1,776 votes)
Chronological feed that only features blogs I follow. @ 95.2% (roughly 130,077 votes)
This doesn't affect me personally. @ 3.5% (roughly 4,782 votes)
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emberwhite · 3 months
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I spent the last 11 months working with my illustrator, Marta, to make the children's book of my dreams. We were able to get every detail just the way I wanted, and I'm very happy with the final result. She is the best person I have ever worked with, and I mean, just look at those colors!
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I wanted to tell that story of anyone's who ever felt that they didn't belong anywhere. Whether you are a nerd, autistic, queer, trans, a furry, or some combination of the above, it makes for a sad and difficult life. This isn't just my story. This is our story.
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I also want to say the month following the book's launch has been very stressful. I have never done this kind of book before, and I didn't know how to get the word out about it. I do have a small publishing business and a full-time job, so I figured let's put my some money into advertising this time. Indie writers will tell you great success stories they've had using Facebook ads, so I started a page and boosting my posts.
Within a first few days, I got a lot of likes and shares and even a few people who requested the book and left great reviews for me. There were also people memeing on how the boy turns into a delicious venison steak at the end of the book. It was all in good fun, though. It honestly made made laugh. Things were great, so I made more posts and increased spending.
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But somehow, someway these new posts ended up on the wrong side of the platform. Soon, we saw claims of how the book was perpetuating mental illness, of how this book goes against all of basic biology and logic, and how the lgbtq agenda was corrupting our kids.
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This brought out even more people to support the book, so I just let them at it and enjoyed my time reading comments after work. A few days later, then conversation moved from politics to encouraging bullying, accusing others of abusing children, and a competition to who could post the most cruel image. They were just comments, however, and after all, people were still supporting the book.
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But then the trolls started organizing. Over night, I got hit with 3 one-star reviews on Amazon. My heart stopped. If your book ever falls below a certain rating, it can be removed, and blocked, and you can receive a strike on your publishing account. All that hard work was about to be deleted, and it was all my fault for posting it in the wrong place.
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I panicked, pulled all my posts, and went into hiding, hoping things would die down. I reported the reviews and so did many others, but here's the thing you might have noticed across platforms like Google and Amazon. There are community guidelines that I referenced in my email, but unless people are doing something highly illegal, things are rarely ever taken down on these massive platforms. So those reviews are still there to this day. Once again, it's my fault, and I should have seen it coming.
Luckily, the harassment stopped, and the book is doing better now, at least in the US. The overall rating is still rickety in Europe, Canada, and Australia, so any reviews there help me out quite a lot. I'm currently looking for a new home to post about the book and talk about everything that went into it. I also love to talk about all things books if you ever want to chat. Maybe I'll post a selfie one day, too. Otherwise, the book is still on Amazon, and the full story and illustrations are on YouTube as well if you want to read it for free.
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saturnianautist · 3 months
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Planets in the 8th house
Disclaimer: I am not a professional astrologer these are just my opinions based on my years of experience and research so take with a grain of salt. Also, any mention of some illness or mental illness that could possibly (emphasis on possibly) present in some individuals is one of many ways a placement could manifest but I am not a doctor and astrology should never be a replacement for the real thing. please keep this in mind and take what resonates and leave what doesn’t.
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Note: the 8th house deals with themes of death, loss, sex, other peoples money, inheritance, unspoken/hidden things/secrets, irrational fears, the past, obsessions/compulsions and addictions. This house can be intimidating because of the chaotic sides that it can bring, but really this house is like a mirror that shows you places where you can leave certain things behind and transform for the better if you let it. The 7th is about our relationships based on fairness and an equal standing whereas the 8th is where we can either fall or thrive from the opposite. Often with the 8th house we get shown situations where our desire, anger, greed, and insecurities come out, only if we’re not managing. It shows where we can over indulge and also owe things. On the flip side it can also be a house where we have big gains, lots of spiritual and creative gifts and are also owed things. These are my take on the energy of this house in combination with each of the planets and how that could possibly manifest in life. One more note for you all, as you’re reading this please take it with a grain of salt 8th house is not as scary as it seems and some of the things I say are in the most unfortunate and extreme manifestations possible and will probably only be some people so don’t shy away from this energy because when you know how to use it can be so focused and powerful.
Sun:
This person is most likely very familiar with significant loss of something or someone in their lifetime, especially early on or even multiple times throughout their life. The individual likely goes through transformations of their character frequently and throughout their whole lives. As soon as one ends one begins. This can feel tiring if they’re resistant to the changes, but if they embrace them they have the ability to learn many valuable lessons that help them get closer to achieving the life they want, and who they want to be. They might take an interest in, have an early memory of, or know someone close to them who has experienced being in a place that deals with darker themes like a cemetery, hospital, mental hospital, prison etc.. real life detectives who can find out anything and anything on anyone, they are great information gatherers but if not mindful this can be used poorly or for the wrong reasons. Someone prone to being easily addicted to things or obsessive/controlling over something or even someone (including themselves). Can be prone to reckless behavior or self destructive behavior. on a positive note they can very focused and achieve so much when they set their mind to something (sign will tell you more with what). Might be interested or good at careers dealing with things that involve the psyche, life and death situations, spiritual matters, intimacy, investigation, money etc.. For this placement a focus on moderation is so important in order to lead a balanced life free of addictions and free of trying to control to many things. This being a spiritual placement, looking for signs or listening to places your ancestors or passed loved ones try to send you messages to can be of benefit. Also, taking your time to get to know someone in any kind of relationship before getting attached or committed can bring you a lot of peace. Being mindful and thinking of moderation in any decision in general will be helpful to a healthy life.
Moon:
These are people who have very Intense emotions. They can be deeply empathetic and sensitive, and might even struggle to regulate their emotions in a healthy way. These people might not have gotten their needs met as a child, with an emphasis on a lack of emotional stability. Growing up, they might have often heard that they were too much or that they were dramatic when expressing themselves. This could have really impacted them in a way where they might now present as very secretive people, especially with emotions and thoughts out of fear that they will be “too much to handle” to others. They might really struggle to truly open up in their relationships with others and others could find them hard to read because of this. This placement could have a theme in their life on uncovering truths about their family or about the mother or mother figure, somewhere there is a clear theme of hidden things in the family. Something about the relationship with mom is complicated and intense here. An obsessive or intense mother, A mother with illness or mental health issues or even passing away in youth. You or your mom having a difficult pregnancy, or child born with mental health issues or mental disabilities, you or your mom having a child against some kind of odds. A child that challenges you in some way in which it forces you to heal or come to term with certain traumas. An individual deeply interested in spirituality and darker sides to life. Knowing things are going to happen before they do (good intuition), If you have periods it might be a painful or intense period as the moon deals with women’s cycles and 8th house can be destructive and intense. If they are not careful they might turn to substance abuse to cope emotionally as the 8th house can turn obsessive or overindulgent at times so moon in 8th really needs a good healthy emotional outlet in order to cope in the world, spiritual practices can help them regulate their emotions even, they also need to establish a really good support system of solid people in their lives who are supportive of them and in which are they can open up to comfortably. Tending to the home, themes of the home life, self discovery and finding out the truths you need, to reach some conclusions that give clarity about your childhood and family, will really help these people find more tranquility and calm in their lives.
Mercury:
These people are extremely intelligent and easily pick up hidden or unsaid things from conversations (ie they will know when you’re lying to them it’s not wise to try to). They have probably heard even since they were young that they were so smart for their age. They might be gifted in any kind of writing or using their words in some way, things that use transportation, and things that use their hands (for example jewelry making, playing an instrument or drawing, singing, computer programmer etc..). Because Mercury also rules over mental ability and learning skills, even if they don’t have a natural ability for something they can still do anything of their choosing. What they do have is the natural ability to learn new information and apply it, meaning they can master anything just based on their talent of that. They are prone to overthinking and getting obsessive in their own thought patterns which can turn toxic. They can also be obsessive about their work. They can easily get addicted to work and become workaholics which can have a strain on the other areas of their life, especially because they tend to be perfectionists and analyze until something’s just right. Mercury rules a lot of our mental areas and how they function, and the 8th house can get destructive at times, so this placement is prone to having mental illness, especially anxiety or even social anxiety. This could manifest and look different for different people, but often times they are more susceptible to this. At best, this person is just a little chaotic in their personality and it’s one of their many charms. Sometimes people won’t understand this but some will learn to love them more for it. This person is a really my way is the right way and don’t tell me different please. As someone with this placement there’s usually a reason we do things a certain way and it works best for us so it’s best to just go with it. It’s important for these individuals to maintain a good way of speaking to themselves to avoid falling into negative thought patterns. Things like affirmations, talk therapy or journaling etc.. could help them, also having good people around them. Being mindful about work life balance here is also essential to do well in their environment. Additionally, having a good outlet for anxiety will help them cope in a healthy way. Things like regular exercise, eating well, prioritizing good sleep, having a hobby you enjoy that grounds or relaxes, meditation. Eliminating things that escalate cortisol levels like coffee or atleast limiting your consumption, overindulging in junk food or alcohol, unnecessary stress etc.. will also help ease anxiety.
Venus:
If you’re not mindful in dating this placement can tend to have intense love lives and fall into cycles where they feel trapped (8th house can get very attached) this can look like manipulation into staying in a relationship, staying with someone who isn’t good to you or is destructive to the relationship in some way. Alternatively, the relationship is still intense but more expressed as deep love or passion. The individual could be with someone very loyal, committed, and someone that would do anything for them or make sacrifices, also someone who would bring positive transformations to their life. This also notes being in a relationship where there is very good intimacy and deep connection both physically and spiritually, basically just very very connected to eachother where you help eachother with stuff like trauma, trust, fears and money even. People might really want to spoil you with this placement (8th house other people money and Venus attraction), this could also play out in a romantic relationship where you attract people that want to provide for you. Venus dealing with romantic relationships and 8th house dealing with money especially other people’s money it would be wise to get secure or have your financial things in order before getting legally involved like marriage for example. If you separate with this person or have any legal mishaps this placement could point to either owing money or receiving money depending on if it’s aspected well or in an easy sign. This placement can also indicate marrying or being in a relationship with someone who was born into poverty or alternatively inheritance depending on the aspects. This placement can manifest in a lot of different ways but whatever it is usually shows a relationship where you and them are overcoming obstacles together and transforming together. Be careful with greediness and selfishness especially financially here or of other people with those traits. The more you do that the more likely you are to have to pay off debts. A main lesson here will be learning how to have a handle on your desires specifically material and to have self restraint or discipline in that area.
Mars:
In the worst manifestation (so this won’t be everyone and this is just a possibility not a given) this can point to the body or mind attacking itself in some way whether with sickness or even self harm and or a habit self destructing mentally. Alternatively this could also look like making really impulsive decision making which puts you in harms way (mars likes to move fast and can lack patience in its unfortunate expression). At its best this placement has an immense amount of drive and passion in the things they do as if it never runs out. They are great at reaching the goals they set for themselves. They are probably good at facing conflict headfirst and dealing with it quickly. When something comes up that does not serve them they are quick to nip it in the bud. In the fortunate expression this person takes really good care of their body and might have transformations physically. This could look like a significant weight loss or gain or building muscles or maybe even nursing their body back to health from sickness and looking bright and lively again. Most likely they have overcome something physically and have this discipline towards their body. They might be the type of person to have a health regimen they do daily. It’s important for this placement to find a way to healthily use their physical energy because they usually have needs here which can lead to overindulgence if using the energy improperly. Having a workout routine or a way to let off stress in a healthy way physically will be very helpful for them. This could also look like another outlet as long as they have some sort of thing they are passionate about to direct their energy to it will be useful for them since this placement has a great deal of energy. Whatever it is it could be almost anything but mars energy needs a goal and they need to be the one leading things and self motivating otherwise this individual can end up feeling very lost or fearful from lack of direction.
Jupiter:
Jupiter can be very overconfident at times. With that being said, its energy mixing with 8th house themes especially with getting addicted to things or attached, this can present in a lot of different ways besides just substance abuse. Finances especially other peoples finances, and Jupiter’s tendency to make things it touches bigger or expanded, as well Jupiter ruling over fortune and luck (when expressed improperly this can be unfortunate or unlucky) this individual could be prone to a gambling problem (8th house money we owe) at its worst expression. In its best, this could look like making profits in something especially through relationships and networking with other people. This could also be someone that has knowledge of how to handle their money wisely. This would be a good person to start their own business, very entrepreneurial energy with the risk factor but then it coming back ten fold with Jupiter’s blessings. This person is very lucky when it comes to business deals and investments when the energy is used productively. This individual might experience a streak of luck, fortune, or large sum/financial gain in their life, sometimes after a point of loss or tragedy. This individual might be very interested in religion, spirituality or higher education and knowledge of healing so if they don’t believe in religion maybe they still believe in god or something else or maybe they just like to study things in that field. This can also present as having knowledge for a career in being healing to others like a doctor, therapist or maybe someone who helps rehabilitate people physically or from addictions. Its important for this person to find a productive way to use their efforts and talents because they can be prone to doing to much or being extra in ways that causes trouble for them. Finding something that lets them express these talents and knowledge healthily can let them access their blessings fully and accomplish a lot.
Saturn:
Could point to a complicated relationship with the father, father figure or older male figures in the family. They could be absent in someway by choice or not where you have to grieve their presence in some way. This could also manifest as a father figure that’s emotionally unwell or has really intense emotions and controlling behaviors. This individual might need to be very careful of avoidant behaviors when it comes to their feelings and traumas because they can turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms or addictions when they don’t want feel or experience a certain emotion or memory. In a more fortunate manifestation these individuals could have really great discipline. Especially because with Saturn placements the individual can tend to be put through lots of trials and tribulations for the lessons the universe wants to give them. When they do something that isn’t good for them it comes back to them a lot quicker and they are aware of this, so once they learn to master discipline they learn to put a lot of focus towards the care of their body, their health, and especially their goals. They can be very hardworking, just be careful that you don’t use work as an another vice to escape hard situations or feelings. Now there is more that could go wrong with what you do but if you are on the right path doing what you need for yourself there is more benefits like tenfold that come back to you. Growing up Saturn can have a theme of having a lack of in terms of stability so it’s common here that if you’re doing what you need to do and you have achieved that discipline then these individuals can lead very stable lives full of abundance especially financially. Here again, the most important thing is taking your lessons and learning them hopefully the first time (because Saturn will show you something you don’t want), taking care of your health both mentally and physically, taking care of your responsibilities, and being disciplined where you need to be this individual will be granted abundance maybe even through marriage since this is the 8th house of shared money or inheritance.
Uranus:
So because Uranus rules over rapid changes as well as things that are unpredictable, and the 8th house rules over destruction and rebirth/transformational energy, this can create a lot of unpredictable events growing up. Now depending on other placements this could manifest in a number of different ways but this could point to possible unexpected injuries to yourself or others that are on accident, things that cause you to uproot your life like your house getting hit by a tornado or something and having to move etc.. now these are extreme examples and just a possible manifestation it doesn’t have to be that extreme. This could also manifest as finding out unexpected secrets or things that were hidden from you either in your family or friend circle (8th house rules over secrets). Because 8th house placements usually deal with loss or passing of their loved ones in some way, with Uranus being here this could mean a bizarre or weird circumstances to how it happened. Now in a fortunate expression this could also look like a positive rare outcome. These individuals could have near death experiences but they always make it through alive somehow, like a cancer patient who is cured gets it again and beats it again. Because 8th house rules finances, especially other people’s finances, this individual could also do something like accidentally win the lottery or something, or receiving money from the government or more easily receiving money on the internet like if you had a YouTube channel. Uranus is a rebel it is a disturber so this can point in terms of mental health to an anxiety based mental illness or something that targets your nervous system. Especially because this individual might have had these crazy unexpected life experiences at one point it’s also a basis for rare traumas that can be underlying cause for their anxiety or paranoia that something bad will happen (like schizophrenia for example). In a positive manifestation this individual is really gifted in technology, science, coming up with a vision or new ideas that have never been thought of before, creative energy. They have the ability to really master one of these lanes and take a new approach to them in a way that feels fresh and exciting to people, they can have many good collaborations with people as well in their passion. Another thing about Uranus, they don’t give f****. If something isn’t working for you or you want to change your life up for the good this placement really gives you free range to easily achieve it and let go and start anew. I will say though that one thing this placement should be careful of is making sure you have good people around you that you can trust because just as this energy can be collaborative and point to community you need the right people, in a less fortunate circumstance this can point to betrayal or friends that bring you into unexpected unfortunate situations.
Neptune:
Y’all can be very foggy headed and delulu. Neptunes specialty is making things confusing so sometimes you need to be able to take off the rose colored glasses and see clearly. Neptune can make it so that it’s very hard to differentiate between fantasy and reality so when that meets the 8th house it can have an tendency to make it so the individual has struggles being honest with themselves. Sometimes this can point to lying to others, not necessarily intentionally but just because you aren’t being honest to yourself. But more likely it can point to not being honest about what’s not good for you in your life. This can be an addiction or unhealthy outlet, it could be a person that maybe isn’t treating you right but you have a certain version of them in your head that you’re stuck to. This could also just be unhealthy habits you have in general. More specifically these individuals can struggle with a lot of escapist tendencies which can sometimes manifest as drug use and sometimes more heavy drug use in attempt to either not feel or feel something good (like Saturn the escapism is present but Saturn is much more aware of it whereas Neptune is in a fantasy in their head). Neptune rules over subtle things or invisibility so this can be either drugs or other things that make you feel either numb or just overly calm. Neptune can be very uncomfortable in the 8th house at times as Neptune is very spiritual and while the 8th house is also spiritual it’s still very involved with the material world. Neptune doesn’t wanna have a worry and the 8th house just keeps putting reality in their face. Finding their personal spiritual path is a big theme here as again Neptune is very spiritual and the 8th house brings a lot of transformational energy here. Especially because this can point to religious trauma sometimes in more extreme cases so usually there is some type of transformation with that. Being that Neptune also rules over dreams, their dreams can be symbolically important for showing them things regarding spiritual themes so pay attention to your dreams. Especially if it’s from a passed loved one (8th house ruling over death and loss) it could be part of your spirituality that you get sent message from them through your dreams. This person should watch out for the beginning thing I said but also they should watch out for being not only major people pleasers in their relationships but also major enablers to toxic or unhealthy behaviors. Also be careful of overspending or having unhealthy money habits without realizing it or trusting others to handle your money bc they might have alternative intentions you’re not able to see.
Pluto:
Pluto is very methodical here since both the 8th house and Pluto rule over secrecy. This individual probably takes a very quiet and private approach to things in their life and you won’t know until they actually do the thing. This can also be a result of the traumas and things they’ve went through in life. They are very resilient but they could have dealt with a lot of betrayal growing up so they know people like the back of their hand most of the time. Sometimes they can be a bit paranoid because of this though and they can have lots of trust issues towards others. Now they go about things privately because they know how people can switch up easily and don’t want their plans to be ruined again. Because Pluto rules over crime and also authority they might have had a lot of issues with authority growing up family and even possibly with the law. Both of these areas rule over destruction so it’s possible that they had self destructive behaviors and getting into bad situations or illegal situations as a way of acting out from things they’ve been through or just because they might not have had anyone to teach them how to use the toolbox they were given. This individual can be very gifted and very smart and meticulous in what they do. They can be interested in darker jobs or jobs in which what you do is very powerful or transformative/healing (like being a doctor). They have trouble being under authority because they are meant to be their own bosses and hold their own power in their hands. Pluto is very influential and you might have a reputation for disrupting societal normalities in good or bad ways it depends. Be careful with this energy though because it can be easily abused and you need to be careful to use it productively. If you use it unproductively you can come off as controlling and overbearing but if used right you can hold a high regard and be well respected in what you do. This placement can attract a lot of jealousy from others because they are envious of how powerful you can be or are intimidated by you so it’s important to have confidence and good self esteem. A key part of your journey will be healing. Self healing and discovery will be a big theme here. Learning to heal your traumas and trust issues in relationships will be good for creating the life you want and bringing you peace, as well as learning to accept your flaws and yourself. Strong self love is important here.
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tia-222 · 5 months
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My void sucess story
HII TIA!!! I can barely contain my excitement as I type this but I got into the void and manifesting my dream life. You @gorgeouslypink and @charmedreincarnation are my absolutely favorite blogs, and I couldn’t have done it without y’all. I think charm and pink are on break so I’m gonna send this to you I hope that’s okay.
Quick backstory: I’ve been in this community since the OGs, angel, Cleo, maya etc. I’ve seen all the dumb drama, the liars, the successful people, the exposing, and etc. I’m just sharing this because people think having bad experiences can hinder you from getting your desires and I’m here to remind you nope that it can’t. Nothing can. I had a phase where I would ugly cry trying to make sure all the success stories are true….I became a cop and started looking for inconsistencies on pages and liars to help me feel better. Which it didnt, It drove me mad, and I lost faith.
Until… I read pink’s doubt post which was God sent. Her entire page is God sent tbh and I recommend it to everyone. After I felt better and realized outside of tumblr people have gotten into the void, I decided I’m gonna be the next success story. So I went on your lovely page because I don’t think there isn’t a method you haven’t talked about.
You’re so educated and conduct amazing research on everything, we truly don’t deserve you Tia. Thank you for all your hard work. Anyways I was feeling good! I had so many methods to choose from, I felt like a fat kid at a candy store. And I decided my logical brain needed a logical method so I went with lucid dreaming.
This is where charm comes in. I read her lucid dreaming guide and it is literally also God sent so thank you so much for that. She had a method I had never heard of called SSILD, and even made a post about that as well… like I felt like the universe was handing me everything on a silver platter. And I saw another post that her and pink talked about using a reclining chair. So I combined SSILD with that method to make an ultimate one. And on the second day of trying I entered a lucid dream, asked a dream character to take me to the void and then manifested my dream life.
What I manifested: my dream house, dream family, dream body and face, dream amount of money, money always coming to my family and I’s bank account out of nowhere (but it’s natural and normal ) socialite Status, 25k insta followers (my lucky number) famous loyal dream athletics boyfriend (I was so scared this wouldn’t work but it did!), master manifesting abilities, dream college acceptance, (future) good self concept, a great fashion taste, never gaining weight, clear glass skin, revising my abusive past, and so much more. My list was like a whole ass essay, I obviously can’t list everything but my life is perfect now.
This was last week and I immediately booked a trip to LA with my family to look at the USC campus because that’s where I want to go and where I will go next fall, (I’m a senior). I was also looking at apartments around my school and I found my dream one so I’m manifesting no one leases it 🤭
Quick note: a lot of my desires were weird or I wanted them to manifest a specific way, or they weren’t realistic to happen immediately so I was afraid it wouldn’t work out the way I envisioned. Not only did everything work out the way I envisioned but it worked out even better and exactly how I would want them to apply to life but in a realistic way. So if that’s something you worry about don’t worry, you are God, and it will work out perfectly.
Anyways, I just wanted to share this because I failed for a while and everyone on this app was so supportive. Tumblr is genuinely like a little magical family so now everyone will see my succeed… though this on anon mode bc people have been attacking success stories lately. And honestly it doesn’t matter bc I just want to live my new spoiled life but I want to express my gratitude because my life was in shambles and you three helped me so much. So thank you again and I hope everyone who read this. No, I know everyone who reads this will get what they deserve.
HII LOVE!! WOW CONGRATULATIONS (⑅˶ᵔ ▿ ᵔ˶) ~♡
I'm very excited for you!!! And yes, void Tumblr has definitely changed rn and I feel there's many blogs on here that's good and no more liars. I'm so glad you gained faith back in the community and now you're living your dream life, love.
Aww pink and charm have the best posts on the void too <3.
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Gorgeouslypink doubts post
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Charms lucid dreaming guide, SSILD method
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Gorgeouslypink recliner method
I LOVE YOUR MANIFESTATIONS AND EVERYTHING SOUNDS SO FUN OMGG!! LLYSM <33
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elodieunderglass · 1 year
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the first chapter of Moby Dick rewritten in tiresome modern idiom
CHAPTER 1. Loomings.
Call me Ishmael. Some years ago - it's none of your business how many - being mostly broke, and bored with the land part of the world, I thought I would sail around a little and look at the watery part of the world. I'm probably the most mentally healthy person you know. Whenever I feel my face getting grim; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself accidentally reading the ads in the window of funeral homes, and following funeral processions through traffic; and especially when I'm hangry, and only my extremely strong moral principles stop me from deliberately going out in public and methodically slapping people's earbuds out - then I know it's high time to get to sea, ASAP. This is my substitute for getting in fights. I'm too mentally healthy to kill myself; I quietly and considerately put myself on a ship and sail myself away instead. There is nothing surprising in this. Everyone feels exactly the same way, and if they don't, they're lying.
You think I'm lying? Exhibit A: a city. Go to your local coastal city. Everyone is looking at the water. They drive over from other neighborhoods just to come to the water. They make a day of it. They're not doing anything, they're just staring at the ocean. Why? Is it because they all work office jobs? No! Here come more of them! They cram themselves up to the edge of the water and stare at it. WHAT DO THEY WANT? WHAT ARE THEY LOOKING AT. Perhaps the ships themselves all packed together, each one with several compasses on it, creates some kind of critical mass - all of the small compass-magnets on all the ships in the harbor combining into one really big magnetic field - and the people get sucked into the field and trapped there. That's science.
Exhibit 2: the countryside with lakes in it. Every path you follow in the countryside brings you to some water, such as a stream. There is magic in it. If you take your standard fool with ADHD dissociating in the middle of a supermarket and put them outside and give them a shove, they'll automatically lead you to water (if there is any nearby) (try it). Another good experiment to try is to get lost in the great American desert in a caravan supplied with a metaphysical professor! Try it in the great American desert at home!
Yes, as everyone knows, meditation and water are a match made in heaven. Married forever. That's science.
Here's an artist who wants to paint you the dreamiest, most enchanting landscape. What does he put in it? Trees, meadow, cows, a cottage with smoke coming from the chimney, obviously. He will probably put a path in it and make lots of triangular mountains in rows and have them be different shades of blue (naturally.) But there's gotta be a stream in it. Go visit the prairies in June, and wade for forty miles through knee-deep through tiger lilies. What's missing from this picture? Water!
If Niagara Falls was made of sand instead of water, would you travel your thousand miles to see it? Why would a guy given a handful of cash have trouble deciding whether to buy a coat (which he needed) or go to the beach? Why are all the best, healthiest, sexiest and most mentally healthy people obsessed with the sea? (You get me.) When you were first on a boat, did you not succumb to VIBES? Consider ancient Persia. Consider ancient Greece. They understood about vibes, and also gods.
SURELY ALL OF THIS IS NOT WITHOUT MEANING.
And still deeper the meaning of that story of Narcissus, who because he could not grasp the tormenting, mild image he saw in the fountain, plunged into it and was drowned. But that same image, we ourselves see in all rivers and oceans. It is the image of the ungraspable phantom of life; and this is the key to it all! You get me! You understand it now.
Now, when I say that I am in the habit of going to sea whenever I get weird, don't you dare imply that I buy a ticket and get on a boat. I have never had money in my life. How dare you. Anyway I don't go as a passenger - that's bougie, and something boring people do. Passengers never have a good time. And although my C.V. is incredible - I go to sea SO MUCH, you guys, I have lots of experience - I don't go as a boss, or a cook. That sounds like far too much work. Hard work. Disgusting, respectable, bougie, and far too responsible. I can literally only look after myself. Do not ask me to look after ships or shit. In fact, I have only a vague idea of what a ship is. There's so many different kinds of ships - don't get me started and DO NOT GET INVOLVED. Also, I'm allergic to glory.
It's kind of attractive to go as a cook. I mean, I'm allergic to glory and there's some glory attached to the position of the ship's cook, but, like, you're not management-track and so it's still credible. But I don't really want to cook (say) roast chicken. I really fucking love to eat roast chicken. I'm one of the best at doing it actually. I really appreciate when people go out of their way to butter, season, baste and roast a chicken for me. Picture a roast chicken and I am Looking Respectfully at it. Maybe something more, maybe I'm worshipping it. Don't make this weird. If you want to get weird about my relationship with roasted chicken, why aren't you getting weird about the ancient Egyptians? They ate roasted hippos (look it up) and the pyramids were basically pizza ovens. So it's pretty hypocritical to think that I'm being weird about roasted chicken when I've never made mummies out of chickens or built a religious pizza oven dedicated to honoring them: check and mate, haters.
Anyway - I like to go to sea as a manual laborer. A simple sailor. Salt of the earth… er… sea. Yeah, true: as a job it sucks. They make you jump around, order you around, treat you like shit. They expect you to jump around the boat like a grasshopper. And yes, at first, this sucks. It's degrading, especially if you come from a middle-class family. Worse, it's awful if you've already had some kind of professional job before signing on to be the dirt on the boss's boots - like, if you went to college and worked as a teacher and actually got kids to pay attention to you, really feeling this connection to work/teaching/identity or some shit, and now you are just literally the scum on this captain's boots, in the lowest possible job in the world. It hurts! It hurts your dignity. But the hurt, and also the dignity, both wear off in time.
So what if some old bastard sea captain orders me - ME! - to get a broom and sweep down the decks? What does that indignity amount to, compared to the shit in the Bible, compared to the shit in the news, compared to the shit everyone else has to take. Do you think the archangel Gabriel thinks anything the less of me, because I promptly and respectfully obey that old hunks in that particular instance? Who ain’t a slave? Tell me that. We're all just serfs under capitalism, right, so why not just be honest about it: I prefer the honesty. Anyway, however the old sea captains may order me about - slapping and punching of course - I have the satisfaction of knowing that it's the same experience everyone else on Earth has, but more honest. Everyone else in the world is being served the exact same way. Either in a physical or a metaphysical way - sometimes people get the shit beaten out of them in person, sometimes online, sometimes emotionally, it happens to you in EVERY JOB, you sign on to get pushed around and slapped in the teeth: so the point is that when you're a sailor, it's a clean and honest slap. All the workers of the world share the same universal slap to the face that gets passed round, one slap passed all 'round the chain, like paying it forward, but it's a slap; and we should all accept this Universal Slap as the price of living, and then offer each other healing back massages, brother to brother, and slap each other and then kissed the places we slapped, and be happy.
I could examine that but I'm not going to.
Anyway: I always go to sea as a sailor. I've said that already. You're welcome. BUT THE POINT IS, they pay you. If you're a passenger, they don't pay you, at least, not that I've ever heard of [citation needed] (do they pay passengers?? Is there a job I can get where I can be a passenger and get paid?? Look this up.) Yeah so passengers have to pay. And there is all the difference in the world between paying and being paid. The act of paying is perhaps the most uncomfortable infliction that the two orchard thieves entailed upon us. (That's Adam and Eve. You get it.) But BEING PAID. GETTING PAID IS THE BEST. NOTHING COMPARES TO GETTING PAID. EVERYONE LOVES THAT SHIT. Which is surprising, since we also apparently believe that money is the root of all evil, and isn't there something in the bible about "no rich people can get into heaven," right? And yet it's universal, literally everyone loves payday. Ah! How cheerfully we send ourselves to hell.
Finally, I always go to sea as a sailor (I've said this already) because it's FRESH AIR AND EXERCISE. Okay so think about ships. Normally, bosses stand on the "bridge" thing, and because we're sailing a boat, the nose is going into the wind and the butt part of the boat is at the back. That's how wind works. But if you think about it, winds usually go in one direction more than other directions (unless the men have been eating beans and farting: it's Pythagoras, look it up) SO if you're a boss standing on the boss-deck, the wind is blowing FROM the sailors TOWARDS you, and YOU ARE ACTUALLY BREATHING THE AIR THAT SAILORS ALREADY BREATHED. The boss THINKS he breathes it first, but he doesn't. He gets the air at the BACK of the boat and sailors get the air at the FRONT. So it's better to be at the front of the boat (sailor) for health reasons. This is a metaphor for life and work, etc.
But I have smelled the sea lots of times as a paid sailor and WHY I should decide to go on a whaling expedition - ok so you know how there's an invisible police officer of the Fates who has me under constant surveillance, who secretly dogs me, and influences me in some unaccountable way? YOU get me. You know him. "The poor FBI agent tasked with reading my search engine history" YOU GET ME. Anyway, "Ishmael, why, after having a perfectly well-reasoned, and very smart of you, part-time job as a spontaneous random sailor, did you decide to escalate that to joining a WHALING EXPEDITION, which is worse in every way?" Well, ask my fucking secret FBI agent, he can answer better than anyone else. Including me. You get me. Also, obviously, this was predestined, part of the Universe's Grand Programme for its talent show, which was all scheduled way before our time. The concept of sending me on the whaling voyage comes in as a kind of interlude or solo between the main performances of the Universe's great talent show. I bet it was advertised llike,
"PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION OF THE UNITED STATES EMBROILED IN ONGOING LEGAL DISPUTE.
Whaling voyage by some guy called Ishmael.
BLOODY BATTLE IN AFGHANISTAN."
Like a commercial break in between the big acts. A filler episode. Lightens the load for everyone else. Though I can't explain why the stage managers - the Fates - chose such a shitty role for me, a WHALING VOYAGE of all things, when it feels like others were given magnificent parts in high tragedies, and short and easy parts in genteel comedies, and jolly parts in farces - it seems a little unreasonable at first. Why doth Ishmael get shat upon, etc. But then I think about all the circumstances, the plot points and motivations that were cunningly presented to me under various disguises - FBI agents, bouts of random hanger, gay awakenings, you get me - and you can see that actually, I was set up. And worse, between them all, these Fates and Circumstances conspired to make me believe it was all my own choice and good judgment. Is Free Will an illusion? Are my decisions bad? We will NEVER know because I, Ishmael, am just a little guy that the Universe plays head games with.
One of the ways the Universe tricked me into starring in this performance and then mocking me for it was the overwhelming idea of the great whale himself (whaling expeditions usually contain whales.) Such a portentous and mysterious monster roused all my curiosity. Then of course, if you have a whale, you have the wild and distant seas where the whale rolls around with his body-the-size-of-an-island; the dangers and nameless perils of the whale; whales are also found in interesting places I haven't seen; this all tipped me over the edge. Maybe normal people could've resisted, but I am tormented with an everlasting itch for obscurity. I hate everyone else's oceans. I want the forbidden seas.
You know The Horrors? Of course you do. You might be surprised that I, the most mentally healthy person you've ever met, a person who is self-aware enough to go to sea when they're at their fucking limits, a guy who likes fresh air and manual labor and normal things, is familiar with The Horrors. Well, you'd be surprised. I know what's good, I'm an extrovert. But I'm still quick to perceive The Horrors. And how I deal with the horrors is a very extroverted thing: I'm social with them, if they'll let me. It's smart to be on good terms with The Horrors. You should always be on good terms with your permanent neighbors. That's how extroverts deal with The Horrors, and I recommend it.
I think that's enough explanation for why I welcomed the whaling voyage. The great flood-gates of the wonder-world swung open, and in the wild figments of imagination that pushed me into doing it, the whales came marching two by two, hurrah, hurrah. They marched into my innermost soul in endless processions and occupied it, you see, I was quite helpless under this occupation - I consented to the haunting and the whales marched in to haunt me - and amidst them all was one grand shrouded white phantom, like a snowy mountain in the air.
You get it.
You know how it is, with whales.
(read the actual first chapter of Moby Dick here: https://www.gutenberg.org/files/2701/2701-h/2701-h.htm)
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gurugirl · 2 months
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Best Valentine's Day | bfd!harry
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Summary: It's Valentine's Day and Harry's got something special planned.
A/N: They're back! Happy 💘Valentine's💘 Day my loves!
Word Count: 4.2k
Warning: 18+ only, smut, fluffy, the briefest tiniest bit of angst
Best Friend's Dad!Harry masterlist
Harry remembers well, that day. The day he decided to go to your apartment and finally give in to the tension that had been between you two. He didn’t know why. He wasn’t sure if he would really go through with it. He thought maybe he’d see you in your own space with your big smiling eyes and he’d snap out of it. He hoped he’d snapped out of it. He hoped he’d stop thinking about you the way he was.
But no. That’s not true. He had to face the truth. He did want something to happen. He instigated. He fantasized and he made it a point to have a reason to come see you. And yes, he did want to make sure you were okay after breaking up with your boyfriend, but it was all born of selfish things. He wanted you. Even if it was just a dirty secret, there was something about testing the waters with you that he always looked forward to.
And once he got to know you as more than just his daughter’s friend he didn’t want it to end. Once he got to have you in bed and wake up lazy in the morning to you wanting more of him and how easy it was to not get caught. Then secret texts, long conversations, quick visits to see your face in the morning over a cup of coffee before he had to be at work… then he found he wanted even more. He didn’t just want to pop in and get his dick wet and leave. He wanted to talk to you and hold you and laugh. He liked the way you looked at him and the way you said his name and how you’d pout when he had to leave.
“What are you thinking about?” You reached across the table to poke at his cheek. He seemed pensive. And lately, that was the norm. You were both stressed. The divorce was stressful for you both.
Harry had to prove that he hadn’t spent all that much money on you. His ex was going after him for cheating and had accused him of spending his money on you when it should have gone to the household or their combined savings. But the truth was he really hadn’t spent that much money on you during the course of your relationship.
It was flowers and some jewelry and groceries and small things. Not rent and car payments like she was trying to prove. Which didn’t matter in the end. Harry’s attorney told him that he’d be paying her alimony which would cover her insurance and current lifestyle, and that would be more than enough. She’d be getting the house, her car, and all of her own retirement. Harry also agreed to give her half of their savings but he was keeping his brokerage which she never contributed to. She wasn’t getting everything she wanted but she sure was trying to make it hard.
“Thinking about how we met and how I went to see you at your apartment that day. Just reminiscing. Crazy how we got here. After everything. Fell in love with you so fast.”
You smiled, “It is crazy. Sometimes it doesn’t feel real.”
Harry took your hand and kissed your palm, “Still like a dream.”
You’d been having lots of conversations about the past and future lately. Perhaps it was because his divorce was nearly finalized. Or maybe it was all the talk of getting you pregnant. But there was also the discussion of moving out of your apartment.
The lease on your apartment was coming up. Harry wanted to move you both out of your little place and find something with more space. You would go wherever he went without question but you did warn him you were still jobless. Your contribution would be minimal but he only assured you that he was going to take care of you and he didn’t want your money.
Once a week for the past few weeks you both had been looking at potential new places. Apartments and houses alike. And Wednesday after he got off work you two were on your way to look at a new one.
“Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day,” you suddenly remembered as you spoke from the passenger side of Harry’s car as he drove you to look at a place that was having an open house.
“I know,” he reached across to put his hand on your thigh, “Did you forget?”
You laughed, “I totally did. I think with everything going on it just didn’t cross my mind. But I saw that sign outside of Scasi’s restaurant about their Valentine’s Day special just now.”
“So you’re saying you didn’t plan anything romantic for us?” Harry teased.
“I did not. What would you like Mr. Styles? A night out on the town? Some flowers? Cologne maybe?” You laughed when he squeezed at your thigh.
“Why not all of it?”
You looked toward his side profile and laid your palm over his hand, “I’ll give you all of that if you want.”
Harry glanced at you with his dimpled grin, “Baby, I know you would. But I’ve already got something planned for us. Think you’ll like it.”
You adjusted yourself in your seat and angled your body toward his, “Oh yeah? What have you got planned then?”
“You’ll see soon enough.”
The three-bedroom house at the edge of town was adorable. But it wasn’t a rental. Which had you a little surprised. The backyard was plenty big for landscaping (which it was in desperate need of), the master bedroom faced the big ugly backyard but the ensuite bathroom was to die for. All upgraded finishes with a soaker tub and a steam shower.
The kitchen, however, was your favorite. The stove was one of those fancy chef’s stoves with the red knobs. The refrigerator was built into shelving and at first glance looked like a tall cabinet.
“Harry this is a lot. Three bedrooms?” He had your hand in his as you both walked around the space.
“It’s a lot for us right now. But what if we have a baby one day? And that backyard? Ugly as sin right now but I love to garden and I know we could make that something really special. For us. For a family here if we wanted.”
He leaned down to kiss you, his nose knocking against yours playfully making you laugh.
“Maybe you’re right,” you rubbed your palm over his chest.
“I know I’m right.”
.           .           .
You were excited for whatever it was Harry had planned. You didn’t know why he didn’t just tell you but he seemed to always enjoy giving you surprises. He liked making you wait and anticipate what was to come. Sometimes even in bed.
He told you to wear something pretty so you picked out a nice dress and did all the things to pamper yourself that made you feel pretty before he got home from work.
Of course the minute you heard the key in the doorknob you rushed to the door to open it and greet him with a big hug.
He kissed your cheek as you took his coffee travel mug from his hand, “Sure is nice to have you open the door for me like this every time I get home from work. Got me spoiled.”
“Pretty sure you’re the one that’s got me spoiled,” you responded.
It was nice having Harry with you. Knowing you weren’t sharing him with anyone anymore. You knew it was bad to feel smug about such a thing but you kind of did. He picked you. Even if the circumstances were less than ideal, you were the one he chose.
“So, can you at least tell me if we’re gonna eat as part of these mysterious Valentine’s Day plans you’ve made?”
Harry began to unbutton his shirt with a grin on his face, “Why? You hungry honey?”
The way he said it was full of something devilish. Something cheeky. You rolled your eyes at him and laughed, “I kind of am.”
A mischievous smirk rose up on his lips as he lowered his hands to his belt, “I’ve got something to fill your tummy with. Little appetizer…”
You balked at him, “You’re like a teenager!”
He slid his belt from the loops on his pants and pulled your back into his chest, “Mmm… More like a man in love who knows how to feed his hungry baby.”
You laughed loudly and pushed your head back against his shoulder, “How is it you’re always thinking about sex?”
He rocked you back and forth and tucked his face into your neck, “It’s because it’s you. You’re so good to me all the time. So pretty. So smart. S’your fault I’m this way.”
You sighed as he kissed the side of your neck and then let you go, “We don’t have time for any hanky panky anyway,” he spoke as he finished undressing. “Gotta shower up and then get ready myself so I smell just as good as you. We’ll leave here in like thirty minutes.”
Harry put up with you trying to get him to tell you where he was taking you. You didn’t let up but Harry also didn’t give you any direct answers.
“Will there be dancing? Hot air balloons?”
He smiled as he continued looking at the road, “That sounds fun. We’ll see.”
You knew you weren’t going to break him down. When Harry set his mind to something he wasn’t going to budge.
So when he pulled into Club Stella and parked you finally knew what was in store for the night. Or at least you had a good idea. Club Stella was a posh place. It had a funky bar menu with a good selection of snacky bites, along with live bands or DJs, and a nice dance floor.
You had been there once before for a bachelorette party back when you and Fae were still close. It was one of those places where reservations were not super easy to get and it was paid entry.
You were led to a cozy little table not far from where the band was playing and handed special Valentine’s Day menus.
Harry scooted his chair close to yours and flipped the menu to look at the drinks, “Want to share a bottle of wine?”
You looked at the prices of the bottles and scoffed, “Harry every bottle is expensive.”
He laughed and drew his arm over the back of your chair, “Baby it’s Valentine’s Day. I’m gonna spoil you. Pick out what you want.”
When the waiter stopped at the table Harry pinched your arm the slightest when you started to say all you’d have was sparkling water.
“We’ll have a bottle of this,” he pointed at the menu and you rolled your eyes with a smile after the waiter left the table to get the wine.
The food menu was fun. You scanned the options just as the live band changed the song they were covering. The whole theme of the night was romance and the music was definitely part of that vibe.
When the server returned with the bottle of wine you were anticipating what you were going to order. But Harry pulled you to the dancefloor before you could mention what you wanted. You’d been ogling the lobster bites on the menu when he dragged you away He had his hands on your hips, holding you close and you laughed, “Harry I wanted to order! I’m hungry.”
He kissed your cheek, still moving you to the music, and then lowered his mouth to your ear, “Well I tried offering you an appetizer earlier but you turned it down.”
You slid your arms over his shoulders. Even though you were hungry, honestly having a dance with Harry to the song that was being played was certainly better.
He began to sing the lyrics as he swayed you gently, “I’d never dreamed that I’d meet somebody like you,” his warm breath falling over your neck felt so sensual. There were others dancing as well so you didn’t feel as exposed. If only they knew the kind of relationship you and Harry had. What had led to that very moment.
When you felt his lips brush over the skin at your neck you sighed as your bodies moved slowly together until the song was over.
Harry looked down at you as the song switched and took your hands in his, “We’ll come back and dance after we eat. Just wanted to start our night off with holding you and dancing with you in front of everyone.”
You understood him. It was taking some time to get used to being public. To flaunt your love. But the more you two went out in public and did things like this, the more you wanted it. The easier it became. It was exciting.
Harry was a romantic at heart. You knew this because you’d been on the receiving end of his gestures. Sometimes he could be cheesy but you loved it nonetheless. Your favorite, though, was how playful he was with you.
You and Harry enjoyed the wine and food and the atmosphere of Club Stella. The later it got, the more people began to dance.
“Come on, let’s go dance,” Harry had his hand at the back of your neck and he squeezed as he spoke, “This is a good song.” Your food was mostly eaten, the wine was just about gone and you were getting warmer and warmer the longer you sat next to Harry and listened to his deep voice in your ear, his hand closest to you on your thigh or the back of your neck nearly the whole time. The man knew what he was doing.
“Okay. Let’s go,” you grinned at him.
You found a good spot on the floor and the song was a little more swingy than the first song you danced to but still sexy. The live band was really good.
Harry’s hands were dangerously close to your ass as pulled your hips against his and looked down at you, “Best Valentine’s Day I’ve ever had.”
You smiled as you laid your palms over his chest and looked up at him, “Me too.”
One of his hands slid up your back to the nape of your neck as he ducked down to kiss you. And it was like just about every other time he kissed you; hot and needy. He was holding back because you two were in public but you were reminded of the time you had bathroom sex in that nice restaurant in Quebec.
You smoothed your hands along Harry’s shirt over his strong pecs and then fit a finger between the buttons to touch his skin as your mouth opened for him.
He moaned softly and then backed away from the kiss to grin down at you, “What did you do on your last Valentine’s Day?”
You thought back to the year prior, “I think… Oh yeah… Randy had to give me a raincheck. He was working. We never wound up doing anything because it was midweek.”
“Today is Thursday. I have to work tomorrow and I’m still doing something with you. Sounds like he was the biggest dud. Glad I talked you into getting rid of him.”
You laughed and moved your arms up and ran your fingers into the hair at the back of his head, “He was a big dud. But of course, no one can compare to you, can they?”
His smile widened as the hand near your bottom slowly dropped until his palm was pressing into your ass.
The next song slowed things down and he kept you pressed into his hips as you danced together.
Time seemed to slow down or speed up. Every time he kissed you and squeezed your bum you felt yourself melting a little more. But then he ran his lips up your neck and spoke into your ear, “I’m sorry honey. But I can’t keep my cock down,” and you felt him rut into you softly before he turned you to face away from him, your bottom pressed into his bulge.
You gasped with a smile as you turned your head and lifted an arm to hold onto the back of his neck as he swayed you to the beat softly, “Remember that time in Quebec?” You could hear the smile on his mouth as he spoke into your ear.
“I do. Was just thinking about that too. That was fun.”
“Mmm… Might need to find a spot to fuck you like that again.”
You laughed as Harry’s hand on your hip tightened and his other moved up your side to just under your breast. You could feel yourself beginning to grow wet in your panties as Harry’s dick plumped up and pressed into your bottom. You loved that he got so turned on by you.
Another sexy, slow song came on and Harry’s lips stayed on your neck, peppering wet kisses on your sensitive skin. No one else existed. It was just you and Harry.
“Fuck… Baby, I’m serious. I need to have you,” his deep voice whispered against your skin.
You turned in his arms and attempted to hide the hardon he was sporting under his pants, “Should we leave?”
Harry looked around the space, “Let’s go see if there’s a spot we can take care of this.”
You and Harry went back to the area near the stage and he pointed to where the bathrooms were and a short hallway as you grabbed your purse from the table.
“Harry? Harry Styles?” You heard a woman speak, from behind you.
Both you and Harry turned around to see a woman near his age looking between you with a slight frown.
Harry scratched the back of his neck, “Hi Roice.”
“Who is she?” The woman pointed at you and you looked up at Harry.
“Uh, well, this is my girlfriend, Y/n. I don’t know if you knew…”
The woman cut him off and looked at you as she stepped in closer, “You know he’s married right? With a daughter, about your age,” she ran her eyes down your frame and you felt very vulnerable under her scrutiny.
You opened your mouth to respond but Harry took your hand, “Roice, my wife and I are getting divorced. We’re done. This is my girlfriend.”
You zoned out slightly as Harry let go of your hand and put his arm over your shoulder to hold you close. The woman made a comment and gave you a look that you knew wasn’t complimentary of you before she walked off.
“You okay, Y/n?” Harry put his hands on your shoulders and ducked his face down to get in your line of sight.
Nodding you spoke, “Yeah. Just didn’t expect that.”
“Me neither. Let’s just get out of here, okay?”
The bill was already paid as you and Harry left Club Stella and got into his car.
He put his hand on your knee and drove in silence until he pulled into a small lot at a wooded park and turned off the engine.
You looked at him, puzzled, “What are we doing here?”
Harry adjusted his seat and moved it away from the steering wheel and pulled at your hand, “Come here, sweetheart. Sit in my lap.”
You climbed over the console after lifting your dress so you could spread your legs and settle over his thighs.
He put his hand on your hips, “I’m sorry that happened. Did that ruin your Valentine’s Day?”
You smiled as you shook your head, “No, of course not. It just shocked me is all.”
“Shocked me too. But you promise you’re okay?”
You pressed your hands on his shoulders and leaned yourself into his chest to kiss his mouth and began to unbutton his shirt buttons, “I’m fine, Harry.”
You could feel him swallow as his hands moved to push the fabric of your dress up before he brought his hands to the inside of your thighs. He moaned when his finger dragged over the fabric of your panties and he realized you were wet.
You laughed with a smile, “Still wet. Think you can get hard for me again, Harry?”
He laughed and licked into your mouth as he ran his thumb over the wet material at your crotch. It was funny because you both knew the answer to that question. Of course, he could get hard again.
And when you felt his cock plumping up under his pants you began to undo his belt and then his button in haste before pulling him out through the front slot of his boxer briefs, stroking his velvety cock as you kept your mouths moving together.
Harry pushed your panties to the side and lowered his seat for more space as you pushed yourself up and placed his tip at your slippery pussy. He held onto your hips to keep you steady as you placed your palms on the seat back and gently lowered over him.
“Fuck… you always hug my cock perfectly baby.”
You imagined that with his girth it would be hard not to hug his cock the way you did. He was so thick and long and he always stretched you apart when he was inside of you.
Slowly you glided up and down as you looked into his eyes, “God… It’s always so full. Makes me so wet just thinking about how big you are and how deep you get. I always need you, Harry.”
Harry moaned and pressed a hand to your low belly as you continued fucking yourself on him, “Yeah? Like how it feels when I fuck into your tummy? Stuff you full every night ‘cause you need it so bad don’t you, puppy?”
“Yes… God, I need you every day. More than anything I’ve ever needed. I love you so much.” You tilted your pelvis down and pressed your lips to his as you ground yourself over him and felt that pleasant ache when his thick crown nestled into your guts.
You could feel the fabric of his briefs over your clit as you rocked down over him. Harry’s soft moans against your lips sounded desperate and you knew that meant he was close already. You hadn’t had sex that morning like you do some days and you knew he must be aching to burst inside of you.
“Gonna give me your come?”
Harry’s mouth dropped open and he jabbed himself upward, his cock squelching through your wet pussy as he thrust into you, “Is that what you want?” Another thrust upward making you squeal quietly at the deep ache in your tummy, “Want my come, baby?”
“Yes… give it to me,” you moaned as you rolled your pelvis down again and felt how wet his underwear had gotten from your arousal.
“Need you to come with me, my love,” Harry’s words were panted as he gripped the meat of your ass and guided you up and down his cock.
You watched his face as you felt his length open you wide and glide in and out with the sound of wet gushes from your slippery pussy in the small space of the car.
Holding to the seat behind Harry’s head to keep yourself steady, you ran the fingers from your other hand over your clit as Harry kept you bouncing over him slowly.
Desperate moans and the slippery sounds of sex with the background of music on the radio were all you could hear as your legs began to shake.
The moment Harry could tell you were about to come, he began to fuck up into you harder, his hips thudding into you making your body bounce harder as you pressed your fingers and moved them over your swollen nub and cried out at his deep strokes.
“Oh my god! Fuck, Harry!”
He groaned when your pussy began to flutter around him and your cries turned to choked moans.
It was his favorite. Feeling your cunt walls squeeze and spasm around his throbbing, leaking cock. He gave you a few more harsh plunges until he pulled you down over him and grunted with his head thrown back into the seat, draining his cock inside of your guts.
Your head was spinning and your heart was pounding as you came down and heard him panting as he throbbed inside of you. You’d never get tired of watching him coming, of feeling the way his body shivered when he pumped into you.
He pulled you against his chest as he breathed hard and you could feel the way he was still twitching inside of you.
When you felt his lips at your neck and heavy breaths puffed against your skin you opened your eyes and turned to look at him with a smile.
“Happy Valentine’s Day, Harry.”
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