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uncanny-tranny · 1 year

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I saw somebody discuss it a while back ago, but it was so affirming and I wanted to open a similar discussion here...

I've noticed in myself and others this intense (genuine) trigger response to people not understanding us or our words or whatever it may be, and it can feel so important that you correct people, that people know you, not a shitty cut-out version of you.

I think this is a valid response, of course. It is completely understandable, and I get where it comes from. When I was in the middle of abuse, I was misrepresented in order to be abused, so it can be a genuine trigger for something "small" you said, did, or are to be misinterpreted or twisted into something it isn't. It turns from, "this person didn't bother reading what I'm saying," to, "this person might be just like them, they're going to hurt me."

My overall point is that a huge part of living is this misinterpretation of you or your character, and it isn't your fault, and it isn't in your control. Hell, even, a huge aspect of language itself is in not being able to fully represent you or what you're saying because language is interpretive and based (in part) on other people's interpretation of what you said. They fill in the blanks with their own experiences, desires, or their own character, and at some point, it isn't really about you, you know?

My biggest piece of advice is learning how to let people be wrong. This shit, of trying to correct every single person? Personally, I have found it to be exhausting, and it feels like I'm blaming myself not only for everybody's interpretation of every little thing I do but also for abuse that led to this intense of a response. It's really hard to let people be wrong, yes, but it also has allowed me and permitted me to be more interested in my own life, not in my life in other people's brains. It's given me that specific freedom from abuse, from worry.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #abuse tw #abuse mention tw #no this isn't me saying that only abuse survivors feel this way because it is a very human and very normal emotion #*however* i have also found that abuse trauma can exaggerate that normal emotion into something more sinister #just like my trauma disorders are exaggerations of normal emotions.#this is mostly for clarity but i am aware of how other people can (and will) misinterpret this #i try my best to be clear in my intentions because it is my responsibility but i am also aware...#...that there is only so much i can do before it is excessive. because i can be 100000% careful and people will misinterpret meaning...#...or whatever it may be. that's a part of life. weirdly enough but having this blog...#...has taught me something about being misinterpreted because i have seen so much horrific accusations of me being levied...#...with no evidence. with no proof. that part of me did feel triggered by that because that shit was used by people who abused me...#...but that wasn't my fault. those people who did that? they clearly had it out for me from the get-go and it taught me not to value...#...what was said. they were biased because of how i choose to exist on here - which is queer. which is trans. which is disabled...#...not because i am secretly knavish or whatever it may be

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legionofpotatoes · 1 year

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I played Season over the weekend, which if I had to condense "thematic meandering" into a videogame is probably what I would most closely end up with; but it was still a cozy chill time that targeted my very specific niche of robust cow petting mechanics. Followed by journaling the heck out of them.

I do think cute indies living and dying by their sincere desire to paint the human condition should never ever ever fall into the temptation of obtuse and nebulous worldbuilding that desperately needs to explain itself so it can function as an aesthetic blanket for their vignettes. Just keep it loose and metaphor-heavy, fellas.

Cause if you're not extremely, painfully specific about your intention with a story that centers ignorant tourism and historic preservation, you're gonna beef it, bud

#season a letter to the future #I have so many nitpicks but it feels mean lmao. in a very subjective sense I had a good time with it. I am a boring playstyle guy #scrapbooking and cycling in a pretty world is right up my alley. wish it wasn't so #man idk if I can call it what I want to call it cause it's so unclear of its own optics. the intention feels pure #for whatever good that can do in a context this god damn loaded :D but at least I recorded the froggies on my tapes #(a game like this does not need elaborate lore that it then fails to adequately explain anyway. that is a barrier to many of season's #emotional high points. shit just lacks clarity of purpose and happens as a given and banks on its aesthetic and melancholic context to #provide the necessary backbone for that punch. but then you end up revealing your hand and general flippant disposition towards this #nebulously coded cultural backdrop that you've constructed for ultimately shallow purposes. especially irt to the core ethos #like the game ultimately asks us if dispassionate preservation of a dying culture is more valuable than the vicarious experience of it but #then that binary is never meaningfully weighted since the protagonist survives and succeeds in either option BECAUSE of the journal and?#it all fizzles out in thematic incongruity. maybe it's my own hangups with glorification of legacy to such a manic degree #or maybe it's really just meant to be sort-of aimless and 'human' in that way. which again negates the need for this lore-brain barrier #just keep it simple without the oddly pedestrian mechanics of the literal apocalypse and the mass amnesia prayers and tell #the exact same story. with a tighter grip on the context of who the protagonist is in this land. there's your game)#text

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noahtally-famous · 1 year

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revenge of the island where everything’s the same except scott chooses to vote out zoey instead of mike to gain the upper hand or smth

the catch is that previously-dormant-since-leaving-juvie mal ends up fronting after, similar to how zoey invoked commando zoey, bc he’s the Protector of the system--or maybe he and mike end up co-hosting??? and it turns into a push-pull thing between them and scott bc mike and scott are already dealing with their issues; meanwhile mal’s as morally gray as the next person and although he’s royally ticked off at scott for messing with mike and threatening the system, he also can’t help but be impressed at how utterly slippery scott is--and ofc tries to exploit that slipperiness and use it against scott. while scott’s sorta confused bc ‘okay this guy isn’t svetlana or chester or manitoba or vito, so who is he??’ but also he’s like ‘wow a worthy opponent?? hell yeah!’ and there’s def some underlying tension reaching its peak that gets cut off when scott gets eliminated following canon events (so mike gets eliminated like zoey was btw) bc duh they’re both trying to beat each other for (mostly) different reasons and with questionable morales within a show where everyone’s pitted against each other, ofc there’s gonna be a tension plus mal kinda doesn’t like scott for what he did lmao (v understandable and valid)

and then they meet again in all-stars and that tension rekindles...among other things :)

somewhere along the way (maybe in a snippet of a scene before scott’s elimination or during all-stars or in the span of time between their eliminations and roti’s finale) scott does the equivalent of apologizing for threatening the system, mainly bc mal would have thrown him without ado straight into fang’s jaws if he didn’t own up to it, but also after being in mal’s (and mike’s) presence for as long as he was, scott genuinely starts to feel bad--not for kicking out all those ppl prior, including zoey, but of how he went abt hurting mike and the rest of the system--mal was just that push he needed to own up to his misdeed. anyway after that, mal doesn’t want to forgive or see scott in a more ‘positive’ light after that happens, but this time mike, the more forgiving one out of them all, is the one being the push to get the alters to try to forgive scott, and after that, as they say, it’s history :D

no but, the urge to write this as a oneshot-type fic set during revenge of the island that acts as a “prologue” for the next multichaptered fic set during all-stars-

it’d give an excuse to portray scott as the villain he deserves to be in all-stars while also warring with his emotions bc I can bet that homeboy has never had a crush, fell in love, or dated anyone before. (plus hopefully I can write mike’s system (namely mal) in a better way than fresh did, and I can touch upon his past--like how he ended up in juvie--and his relations with other characters, like duncan and zoey and cam.)

swear I’ll elaborate more on this when I don’t have a project due within a day and when I’m not in a motivation slump lmfao

#total drama #td mike #td scott #td mal #total drama revenge of the island #total drama all stars #wow i finally have a potential roti fic idea?? even if its just a oneshot??#i just think it's funny to join manitoba (who licks dirt) with scott (who eats dirt)#and all of a sudden i involve the rest of the system too lmfao #plus i've seen a couple of mike & scott + mal & scott content which has been interesting to say the least #so voila--here we are!#i hope i didn't mess up any of the did terms or the way i described them #if so im truly so so sorry that wasn't my intention and pls lmk which ones i did so i can correct them #the main reason im so hesitant on writing roti and all-stars fics is bc of possibly portraying mike's system not so greatly #i mean i know ppl with did and they've advised me on how to write characters with did #but i guess its just a constant worry that i'll fuck it up somehow lmao #anyway #and no there's no bully & victim relationship here ew #whatever scott and mike (plus his alters) have only start to grow and be acknowledged on mike's end after the apology #mal takes the longest to warm up to scott but ironically he's also the one to be protective after the apology #like fang's around? no sweat i'll punch his lights out like vito did dw #there's so much i wanna say but i'm not gonna rn bc i unfortunately have work to do #kit speaks #noahtally-famous #kit stuff #as for scott he's emotionally constipated he doesn't know how and what he's feeling lmao

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goldshykitsune · 2 months

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I thought I should share this now before it changes...

My teachers I've had were always supportive of their students.

Being homosexual, transgender, nonbinary, asexual or whatever else that way was always something they accepted or at least tried to and tried to understand and respect.

Even poly relationships weren't shunned.

One teacher at my school I believe last year was going to get fired over a pride flag (actually it was multiple not just one. They had a pansexual, bisexual, progressive, and a few others.) So instead of giving up on their students they risked it and the a bunch of other teachers also decided to put up pride flags.

Most of them being the teachers on the english floor.

We even had a banned LGBTQIA+ books at the school library.

Our school was also known as most diverse and well I personally would say most accepting.

The school doesn't even shame furries and actually you will get compliments a lot from teachers and staff no matter what things you wear.

These teachers were never told to do this. They did it because they knew it was right.

They won't make fun of weight either. They actually really are accepting and encouraging for everyone.

Even people who are considered physically or mentally uncappable of doing this or even those who do things accidentally because of such conditions they may have.

I have plenty of friends who are tall, short, small, big, have mental or physical conditions, are LGBTQIA+, transgender, Nonbinary, Etc. And they all are accepted at my school. They all have people or teachers who have their backs.

I love it at the schools I went to cause they all accepting and willing to learn from students. Yes some bumps in the road found but the majority of people are amazing there. (Teacher and staff wise.)

I miss the principal my school used to have cause he was great at putting smiles on faces and being known but he had hotten promoted.

Now I dunno much about the current principle but... he's not been doing the best.

Actually I take back that all the staff is good. Mostly it's only the teachers and select faculty. Like the people who aren't commonly seen like college advisers, college helpers, and people who try doing the more future part of helping, they are great.

Like the college adviser literally has one if the progressive flags right up in her room. It's pretty cool and she's really friendly to everyone.

I do know however my experiences might be bias a bit because of me being likable and easily treated nicely. I do know that I can say I do listen to other students.

Many say their are issues.... but these issues aren't that big. Unless you count sports cause it's a 50/50 on if they are good and if the coaches are good... but I mean... it's hard to say cause I'm not that sportsy but I do notice they at least try. They may not do the best for a coach but they definitely try.

Oh and the art teachers are mostly amazing! I say mostly cause I know a few are said to be less so... but the ones in the art building are definitely loved!

That means the woods, ceramic (pottery), auto, painting, and graphic arts teacher are all amazing!

I rarely if ever hear anything bad. Even from the kids who are forced into those classes. Mostly they dislike the mess for like ceramics and woods. Graphics however only has two higher classes and so only a limited amount are allowed in. But the advanced one isn't that crowded which I like. (If you couldn't tell by now I'm in the advanced/3rd level of that class.)

Graphics also allows for so much time to do what you want as the assignments are usually easy but even I can say for some assignments it's boring with like everything but advanced. Advanced is well obviously where you are free to do as you please and I... chose to make Fnaf related stuff cause why not!

Anyways going to some classes that are more troublesome would be math classes as I hardly ever hear what they are doing... however I do know I understand people with accents better than most people at my school. Cause one math teacher has an accent and I can understand that teacher very clearly but others had troubles so I told people I could help them (long story short I did a math a level higher than most in my grade.)

Of course no one asked... sad.

So now to the science teachers... just yes. All the ones that do get talked about are amazing and good. The others are less talked about but I hadn't heard nothing bad about them... yet.

Hm... oh right the entire other building (my school has two separate buildings. [It would be funny if someone from that school at tumblr saw this and tried hunting me down.])

So the other building has some art teachers and science teachers that I already mentioned but it also has the history teachers... they are obviously the middle ground and can't exactly share opinions on how they feel on the government especially. (Legally they are more pressed not to. Like they don't go into specifics other than of course the government and citizenship class.) So they are all friendly and well I maybe could say there is potentially only... 2? 3? That I know nothing on. But like... 6 maybe 8 teachers if I did my calculations correctly that makes... not that many that I haven't heard of but then again it does make me wonder if I did and just forgot.

Anyways their is also other language teachers like the French, Japanese, and multiple Spanish teachers. I've heard all of them being coin flips on if people like them. But I can say the Japanese teacher is proud when students get to the third year (aka me last year. I didn't wanna try working around stuff to get it a fourth time.)

So what else... oh right the financial literature teachers... I say teachers but I only believe the one to be good. I sadly didn't have him and I feel sad but I got to be in his room for a year cause of a club that... sadly disbanded afterwards.

Oh then there is sewing, cooking, fashion, and child care.

I took sewing and two child care classes.

So for seeing that teacher is amazing! She let's students (seniors or those who have open slots in their schedules) to come into her class and hangout. Of course I had half a year of doing that and it was fabulous! I made a few plushies... one looks like a voodoo doll... I can't get the thought out my mind and I like that plushie.

Anyways the childcare teacher is pretty good too. She is willing to help work out getting people to classes and has a different last name now and sadly they can't change it until the next school year for whatever reason but she's married... oh right the seeing teacher also had a divorce and got married too and a student got to help make the wedding dress.

Back to the childcare teacher that teacher made you feel like you were the child whenever we had simulations and I hear that in a year to two they will have a preschool at the school for the school as they are remaking it.

The original school had sunk and they already had to rebuild it so yeah... but it's also damaged after an earthquake. (I'm trying so hard not to accidentally say were I live nor what school I go to but if you know what school this is please do not say or message me personally cause I don't want others knowing.)

Oh then the fashion teacher tgis yesr I tgink is the sewing teacher. But the one who used to do it was a... netural slate, didn't hear much but the sewing teacher said they were good and I dunno if they are still there.

I almost forgot the health teachers! So the one last year actually moved but oh my... I wanted to slap people because of tgeir comments on that teacher. (I didn't hurt no one. But they shamed her weight, all done by the students by the way.)

Oh right the cooking teacher(s?) They are both good, great food too. No bad comments. The one left tho.

Oh shoot I almost forgot the coding teacher! She's good, my friend loved her ap/advanced class. She kept getting injured tho... dunno why but she friendly. She definitely remembered me for like 3 or 2 years dunno if she still knows me.

Hm... psychology is a great teacher both of them. I got the newer one and she is an introvert. She's been teaching for a while and she loves talking to us but she gets awkward apparently and tries saying jokes to get the class laughing to make the awkwardness and tension go away.

(Totally didn't foreget the freshnan success, avid, and special education teachers.)

Avid teacher is amazing and literally is a hotspot for video gamers at lunch or early morning.

The other one I hardly ever hear of. Same with freshman success and the prep classes (prep for students like homework help or whatever else. Usually taken by juniors and sophomores.)

Special education? Hm... I think I only know maybe one? And well nothing bad only good the others... hm... guess reading and math help teachers aren't that bad (said by friends and family who had them.) The speech therapy teacher... dunno nor about the others but they all seem friendly with the students and nothing bad but I'm not too sure cause those friends of mine who have those teachers have schedules that are no where near crossing my paths if rhey still go to school... sadly I have only my one friend and family member as previously mentioned that I know much for. But even they rarely talk(ed) about those teachers

Anyone else?... dunno right now but you got all the teachers at the shared school. The school/building a bunch of individual schools share. You get to be away for two class periods cause if it... so like 2 hoursish.

Only early/mid morning or afternoon/later morning. Those teachers... yeah very accepting. Lots of jokes... not much is said about them tho but I hear about like 3 maybe 4. Two I have, 2 my friend had... 1 a different friend has... so maybe 5? I honestly dunno.

Okay I should go before I use all my time on my phone ranting about my school being so cool.

#tired?#dunno it.#random #rant #vent?#oh I might make a rant/vent tomorrow about something not so good that my school did today #they had good intentions but horrible execution. luckily I wasn't there to witness it!#(was away at the shared school for two hours so I believe I missed it.)#well anyways good night everyone #this post likely will only stay on this account and will be privated/unreblogable or whatever I need if the reblogs or comments are too bad #bad as in... nevermind we'll just see.

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kaikree · 2 months

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something that isn't talked about much when it comes to healing yourself is that it might end up killing relationships (both romantic and platonic)

and i don't mean that in a way that should dissuade anyone from trying to heal. i mean you are where you are, on a path to try and get better, to do right by yourself and take care of the child inside you and nurture the things that have been hurt and sometimes you look around and realize that the people that you used to stand beside are a half-mile back on the track, so far that you can barely see them

and you want them to be with you still. you know that if they can get themselves up this hill with you that they'll feel better. things can get better and it's hard but you're up here climbing a hill, you know that it's possible and they can do it too! they can climb the hill with you and look out at this great view

but

you can't move their legs for them. and no matter how you wave or cajole or promise that it's not as hard once you get into it, they will not move from where they are. and you can sit there and try to talk to them from afar, but the healthier you get the harder it is to yell back to where they're standing.

sometimes there comes a point that you have to turn around completely because the path they want to stay on will only leash you back to a lower point. and that's... not actually your fault.

and yeah that can get so very frustrating. there have been times in my life where while talking to friends who were in bad spirals i would get frustrated b/c no matter what i said or did it seemed like they were hellbent on staying exactly where they were no matter how much they hated it or how much it hurt them. i could sit down and walk with them through resources and venting sessions and so many ways to to get out of the place they were in and it just... repeated. in a cycle. at some point i had to come to terms with the fact that you can't help someone who refuses to take the first step to help themselves and sometimes sticking around someone like that is only going to keep you tethered to that mental state.

#chinhands #sometimes i wonder if you'd actually communicated with me that we'd still been able to be friends #this whole metaphor makes sense in my head but idk if it translates #and then the awkward sense of feeling like the other person resents you for not being as miserable as they are #or that they resent your successes when they happen #tbh i wish i could say that i chose to end that relationship but i wasn't the one to cut the tie #i just realized that when i finally #finally #told them that they'd done something that was hurtful #that it rebounded and became about how me being hurt was actually hurtful to them #i'd made so many excuses about not telling them when they were out of line or wrong b/c i could handle it #excuses of 'theyre going through things and im privileged so i can take it'#'but if i tell them that this isn't okay then i'll be responsible for what they do to themselves after'#which in hindsight yeah that. probably. should have been indicative of something.#it wasn't something they threatened or anything like that #it was 100% my own fear and knowing that if they spiraled i was thousands of miles away #with no way of contacting anyone near them or getting help if something did happen #relationships can go bad even when everyone has good intentions #they probably think i hate them but tbh i just wish they'd get whatever they need to pull them out of the hell in their own head #they're a good and kind person just stuck in the shittiest kinds of place

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