#want more for her than to be the housewife who heals ppl because she's a lady and that's what ladies do

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

If you're still doing the character opinion bingo - Eowyn?

I am *always* doing Character Opinion Bingo

Previously asked: Elrond, Gimli

Ok so.

I love Eowyn, obviously. I have eyes and a brain. Of course I love Eowyn.

However. My opinions on her story arc would be received by most of fandom as akin to hitting a wasps nest with a baseball bat due to:

a) my general dislike of Faramir. Guy can go suck an egg.

a pt II) my general dislike of fandom's tendency to jack off about how UWU Faramir is when he's just a bit of a wet blanket and a tit

b) my view that her ending is sad and sucks and she deserves better because

c) you can have healing and all that nice shit and still be a warrior and ride into battle and bop around on horseback annoying the living shit out of your brother who is now king by giving him 500 aneurisms

This is also why I only half-crossed out "I'm obsessed with their character arc" because I like it but also I'm mad about it because I wanted so much more for her and her ending. She becomes a fucking housewife in Gondor. This is Eowyn "so you're saying my role is in the house while men get glory then I can burn in it once the men don't need it anymore" daughter of Eomund, Shield-maiden of Rohan, child of the House of Eorl. She's not here for your cottagecore fantasies with wetblanket Faramir. (this includes you, too, tolkien)

--

A fandom thing that bugs me is that in the Eowyn tag I'm inevitably dumped into the part of fandom that has internalized western approach to information preservation and share Tolkien's belief that the Rohirrim, due to being an oral based culture, are somehow inferior to Gondor who are a writing based culture. I don't think they're conscious of this fact, but it's there and I dislike it. There's this occasional infantilization of Eowyn where people are like "oh it's so sweet Faramir will teach her how to read and write and all the nice CiViLiZeD things of Gondor and she'll idk I guess teach him something of her people's culture but only so they can write it down" and alksdjhgakghdkjlgdfgj

both are equal! both are equal!

also maybe rohan doesn't want to write down their stories! maybe they have reasons for that!

--

ok also, love that bit when Eowyn tells Aragorn "bitch if you say the word 'duty' to me I will not be held responsible for my actions".

'You are a stern lord and resolute,' she said; 'and thus do men win renown.' She paused. 'Lord,' she said, 'if you must go, then let me ride in your following. For I am weary of skulking in the hills, and wish to face peril and battle.'

'Your duty is with your people,' he [Aragorn] answered.

'Too often have I heard of duty,' she cried. 'But am I not of the House of Eorl, a shieldmaiden and not a dry-nurse? I have waited on faltering feet long enough. Since they falter no longer, it seems, may I not now spend my life as I will?'

'Few may do tht with honour,' he answered. 'But as for you, lady: did you not accept the charge to govern the people until their lord's return? If you had not been chosen, then some marshal or captain would have been set in the same place, and he could not ride away from his charge, were he weary of it or no.'

'Shall I always be chosen?' she said bitterly. 'Shall I always be left behind when the Riders depart, to mind the house while they win renown, and find food and beds when they return?'

'A time may come soon,' said he, 'when none will return. Then there will be need of valour without renown, for none shall remember the deeds that are done in the last defense of your homes. Yet the deeds will not be less valiant because they are unpraised.'

And she answered: 'All your words are but to say: you are a woman, and your part is in the house. But when the men have died in battle and honour, you have leave to be burned in the house, for the men will need it no more. But I am of the House of Eorl and not a serving-woman. I can ride and wield blade, and I do not fear either pain or death.'

'What do you fear, lady?' he asked.

'A cage,' she said. 'To stay behind bars, until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire.'

then they talk about the paths of the dead. There's no bit where he’s like “I don’t see a cage in your future” like in the move. 

And aside from Aragorn's valid point of "you took this charge on you to rule Edoras in your uncle's sted you can't, exactly, just uh...abandon that" - I just love their entire exchange in this scene. It's so much more complicated and nuanced than what the movies show and also far more true to the world Tolkien was creating.

It also continues to highlight how Grima and Eowyn are foils for each other - aside from the subversion of gender norms (Eowyn is obvious in this, Grima's subversion is more subtle in the book), they both have strong desires and a sense of what they are owed and they go about getting it in ways that run contrary to their culture: oathbreaking.

Grima oathbroke when he took up with Saruman, obviously. Eowyn oathbroke when she left her post as Edoras' ruler and guardian - which she swore to the king she would maintain. They both did it to gain things they wanted. Eowyn just, you know, has morals and a spine. Grima has neither.

--

I just. Love Eowyn. And want more for her than was given in the books, or even in fandom.

I also love Dernhelm and wish we saw hell of a lot more of him. More screen and page time for Eowyn-Dernhelm and Dernhelm-Eowyn! We deserve it!

#I will say I'll ship Eowyn and Grima but only if they're both trans because Eowyn is a king - we all know this #and Grima is a wee bitch of a queen - this is also fact #eowyn is a king who just wants to be a marshal of the mark #Grima is a queen who wants to be king #it's all very messy and I love it #mess! mess! mess! #lotr #ask #reply #lord of the rings #ask meme #also I know I know I know people are going to be like: she saw so much in war all she wanted to do was heal people after #she was able to move past her anger and resentment and blah blah blah #boring #don't care #want more for her than to be the housewife who heals ppl because she's a lady and that's what ladies do

[scum-belina]

Can I ask you what made you want kids? I'm not trying to be rude, just curious because you were like the only girl I followed who was staunchly of the child-free opinion and I really related to that and so was (selfishly) kind of dissappointed when you said you changed your mind lol. I'm the only girl in my family and friend group who doesn't want kids also so I just feel very isolated.

It's kind of hard to explain. All last year I was reflecting and dealing with A LOT of past trauma and things that were at the time very painful too. I was brutally honest with myself about myself and others. I prayed for healing, conviction, guidance, etc. and received all of it and then some. But i was still struggling with severe distress and discontentment bc I did not know what I wanted for my life, just what I DIDN'T want. I had what I thought was my dream life in my head, but it still never felt "right" but I clung to it desperately bc I needed SOMETHING to try and hope towards.

I finally, through gritted teeth, prayed that if their were any desires in my heart that weren't best for me, for them to be replaced with what IS best for me, and what my soul has always really wanted. The result? the next day I didn't want half the things I had been obsessing over and clinging onto for years. I suddenly just wanted to love, support, and nurture a family of my own.

This happened so gently to me I didn't even feel shocked by it, although I should have been bc ever since I was a toddler I found babies and kids annoying and often even repulsive. The idea of motherhood was utterly abhorrent to me until my mind changed last year somewhere in Autumn.

I suddenly had so much more clarity and I realized I found motherhood and kids abhorrent bc of all the absolutely abhorrent examples of motherhood I grew up around. Most of all my own mom messed me up most bc she WAS a nurturing, protective mom...but to a fault. Very quickly as a child she AND my dad became codependent on me to where I felt like I was their parent more than their child. It made me feel like I had already had kids and well I fucking resented them for that bc they were shit kids lmao.

Also I realized all the moms my age who are still so immature and name all their kids shit like "Naighleighy" Garagewort" or "Traxtyyn" and post 90 pics of their kid a day while somehow still neglecting them and screaming at them all day is NOT how moms are supposed to be. I feel like witnessing and experiencing all these poor examples of parenting and failed relationships and marriages have taught me what NOT to do now.

Now I want all the more to be wise and patient for the right man for me (if he even exists bc I am a WEIRD bitch idk how anyone could sincerely fall in love with me) marry, and have a family together. I'd be more than happy being a housewife or stay at home mom. I wouldn't be lazy by any means bc when I'm active, working, creating, and teaching I am thriving. Again, I just want to love, nurture, and support. Also entertain bc I love making people laugh more than anything.

I am no tradwife or whatever else cringe shit ppl are labeling themselves with these days. I'm just a woman who has finally begun to heal and realize what she wants for her life. I'm more confident and stable in my self-worth, body, identity, sexuality, than I ever thought I would be. Some joke it's just their "biological clock" that gives them baby fever, but it's not the case with me. This happened after some major wounds in my life healed. I want a family and to give them all the love I have.

Also I still find lots of babies and kids gross and annoying bc lbr here a lot of them just ARE. especially with all the idiots who still behave like they’re 15 out here having kids. I would love and like my kids but other ppls would still get on my nerves if they're just screaming booger goblins lol. Not that it’s the kids fault for acting that way. It’s the parents’ 100%

But please don't let me changing my mind get you down or make you not wanting kids any less a valid choice for you! You're your own person and it's up to you what you want in life. Parenthood is NOT for everyone. Don't let anyone shame you or pressure you about not having or having kids. That is something so major and so personal it's none of their business!

This post is embarrassingly long anon I'm so sorry. I hope it made some sense at least I still feel like I'm not explaining my change of heart in the most coherent way.

#and who knows I may not even have any if there's no man for me out there #which is one of the few insecurities/worries that still plagues my mind sometimes ngl #tw long post #listen...my life is too messed up I can't keep it short im too complex im a baumkuchen my layers don't stop

[debbiewilder]

top 5 debbie/ruth moments?

oh tough because first of all every moment between them is my favorite, but here’s what I’m feeling tonight, in no particular order.

1)

that entire fight scene at the hospital in 2x07. the whole series was building there, to them finally communicating more honestly, and it was just such a powerful, cathartic scene between the two of them.

this is cheating but I'm also counting a later moment as part of #1 because reasons

i love that moment when debbie comes back later in the ep with ruth’s clothes and asks to sign ruth’s cast but is so nervous and vulnerable she can’t even say the word sign she just says “can i s....” and just looks at ruth the whole time that she’s taking the pen from bash and waits for the okay. they can never really apologize to each other, ruth doesn't apologize for having sex w mark and debbie only apologizes in sharpie from the leg break but you just see how deeply they understand each other here and how at the end of the day they always come back to each other and take each other back (just like sheila’s parents bc ruth and debbie are paralleled to married people jeez GLOW yeah you can go ahead and parallel them to more married couples I’m fine with that thx)

2)

the whole 3x10 airport scene. throughout the series, debbie shows how deeply she cares about ruth but it’s rly always under the guise of it being about wrestling or this or that. finally in that airport moment, debbie’s basically saying “hey i care about you and i finally want you to really see that and I choose you because I want the best for you and i want the best for me and the best for me is with you..” (or something) and there’s just something incredibly powerful about the way the series builds to that moment too. 

i also find it so interesting how they once again discuss happiness and how much the meaning of that one word has shifted over the series (they also discuss happiness in their scenes in 1x01, 2x07, 2x10, and prob other times i’ve forgotten). 

also i love the hug, i mean we were waiting for it to happen again since the pilot. 

i love that we finally get to see that ruth isn’t going to passively take what others give her. (we know she’ll find her way back to debbie in the end, she always does).

and ruth saying that debbie understands ruth more than anyone?!! this scene  did that. i mean, we knew this in subtext, but this season took so much in subtext and made it text, and it all felt so earned. also the fact that Debbie says to Tex earlier in the ep that she could never say to Ruth what she legit ends up saying to Ruth in the end of the ep about Ruth’s acting...I...that’s so interesting. Like, yeah, Debbie truly does understand Ruth better than anyone, that is for sure. She legit predicted that Ruth’d say no here but was too excited and hopeful to think otherwise.

also debbie eagan who doesn’t like to be vulnerable w ppl or give up her power/control EVER, who has said stuff like i never want to see you again to ruth in the pilot, who said in 1x03 she’d throw ruth out a window if ruth talked to her again, legit running after ruth in an airport? invented romance, invented growth. what a dumbass, i love them both.

3)

1x04 pool scene. debbie can’t be in the same building w her husband but moments later chooses to stay for however long in silence w ruth...uh yeahh just the best. she has to act like she hates ruth because she knows that she shouldn’t care about ruth any more and she feels so powerless since her whole identity as housewife has been shattered that her hatred gives her a sense of control and power in ways, but in moments like these when she doesn’t have to act and have a mask on to protect herself because no one is watching, you see how much she cares and what ruth means to her. 

i love so much about this scene, the way silence and sound are used and it feels so intimate. i love the pool in between them, showing the gaping emotional distance between them.

it’s also such a contrast to those scenes w Mark who is always imposing on debbie what he wants at his pace rather than hers like therapeutic leans and wanting to sleep in their house but w ruth, debbie gets to choose the speed to which they come back together and is willing to be whatever debbie wants and takes debbie (her pain, her career, her as a person) seriously, so they actually get a chance to heal while debbie and mark fall apart in the end...yeahh

4)

1x09 that scene where debbie says what wrestling means to her and how she feels like a superhero (which becomes something they come back to again and again in the series) and you can tell ruth and debbie are still so fucked up but you can also see how deeply they need each other. 

like they’re so playful in the start of the convo?? and in the end can’t help but have an honest conversation even though they shouldn’t, even though ruth has hurt debbie so much, she can’t help but open up to ruth. and ruth thinks debbie’s going to abandon ruth (and GLOW) for mark, can’t seem to hear what debbie’s saying bc of insecurity (Debbie really just needs advice about what to do with Mark because she has no one else to talk to but Ruth can’t hear that), and it’s just such a perfect scene filled with miscommunication and need and the epicness of Debbie’s description of wrestling and the epicness of how Ruth listens with such intense longing and love and she’s just so proud of Debbie too and then that painful discovery “Sometimes I'm so sad you took away the option of us ever being able to have a normal fucking conversation.” I think we see both ruth and debbie’s insecurities and fears here in a lot of ways throughout this scene but also we see their connection and how they listen to each other and need each other...also omg they look at each other with soooo much love and longing jfc especially before Ruth looks away and she cuts herself off from speaking...it’s insane.....yeah i love this scene.

oh also the look of brief horror as ruth arrives at a lone debbie at the beginning of the scene, which I screenshotted above, where she realizes she’s stopped at debbie’s side and her face just screams, “oh nooo oh goddd!!” incredible. and the doorway thingy that visually separates them which happens a lot in the series, there are a lot of visual separations to go with their emotional distance. 

anyway, they’re testing the waters here. they’ve opened up to each other while wrestling because wrestling requires trust and communication, and this scene gives them an opportunity to test the waters with each other outside of that.  

5)

I think my favorite episode of the entire series is 1x07. In terms of favorite moment from that ep, it’d prob be the part where ruth and debbie describe what they want from wrestling. debbie says she wants to fly (again goes back to the superhero thing and i love the callback that occurs in 1x10 bc ruth pays attention to debbie’s wants here and says “you flew” at the end of their match in the finale). ruth says she wants the whole room to boo her, such a change over a few eps, the people pleaser who wants to be booed bc she just wants to make herself look bad to try and heal things w debbie and starts to find freedom and power in playing the bad guy. 

And the two are soo in sync as Carmen’s brothers show Ruth and Debbie various moves. Like they have the same reaction the whole time and confer with each other and it’s so cute?? And Debbie gets so excited as she sees something she wants to do and Ruth is so excited for her: “That. I want to do that.”

Like, ruth is just so excited to see how debbie’s grown and how empowered debbie has become because of wrestling. Adorable. and it’s super cute to see how ruth looks at debbie throughout the scene and just tries to be there for debbie. And, how much debbie trusts ruth with her body and safety and they just learn to communicate and explore what they want from their bodies together (such a difference from that 1x01 exercise scene where they’re all doing the same boring moves). like i love how empowering that scene is for them as individuals and together ok. 

Like, Ruth is Debbie’s #1 fan just look at her lil face in the screenshots above. She looks at her like that the whole episode. I just...

#anon #ruth x debbie #glow netflix #thoughts #long post