#vs. how like everything afterward is just. the same again but with the added weight of everything before it

[chronomally]

Take my hand. Let's be annoying about Wes Anderson films together

#please feel free to ignore this #I'm watching Asteroid City #I checked to see if this was his intention which it doesn't seem like it was #but this film also reads as a very interesting like critical dissection of the American pandemic response and afterwards #The very basic 'duh' instructions conflicting with confusing actual policies and the dreamlike fast forwarding nature of it #vs. how like everything afterward is just. the same again but with the added weight of everything before it #Also my mom and I have seen so many movies with Rupert Friend in the past 3 months which is wild

[pinkjeanist]

“cooking by the book!” || katsuki bakugou

     ⇥ When Bakugou teaches 1-A how to bake a cake for an upcoming festival, you can’t help but notice how he treats you a little nicer than the others. But that’s just your crush on him talking...right? [1.6k words]

a/n: this is named after that remix of “cooking by the book” from lazy town bc no other song captures the pure essence of bakugou and reader’s relationship. this was also largely inspired by the difference in how gordon ramsay treats kid chefs vs. adult ones.[navigation]

You should have known that taking cooking lessons from Bakugou wasn’t going to be easy. However, with the way he taught you differently from everyone else, you had to admit: it could have been a lot harder.

“You’re gonna bake a cake, today.” You looked down at the empty mixing bowl before you, biting the inside of your cheek. You’d heard that baking was somewhat difficult to begin with, including (but not limited to) cake, and for Bakugou to choose that as your first proper baking session ever made you a bit intimidated (though whether you were intimidated by him or the cake was unclear).

Another school festival was coming up, and your class was expected to bake for the guests, which would have been okay if both halves of your class were competent enough to use an oven. So here you were, standing behind one of the many kitchen counters, trying not to stare too much ahead at Bakugou. You caught yourself doing that a lot on the daily, and even if you sometimes caught him doing the same, it was rude on your part. So, long before you’d even stepped foot in the kitchen, you decided that you would put your feelings aside and focus on the task at hand (which was already proving difficult).

After preheating the ovens, you all went back to your stations. You reached for the apron on the counter and slipped it over your head. Next to you, Kirishima asked his friend, “Are we supposed to do that?”

“Are you kidding me? Is that a question?” You paused in tying the apron behind your back as Bakugou raised his voice. “Yes, you dumbass! Who the hell doesn’t bake without an apron?!” 

You nodded even as his shouting wasn’t directed towards you, and again attempted to tie the apron behind your back until you realized it just wouldn’t stay tied. You almost asked Kirishima or Mina to help you before Bakugou came over to grab the strings and do it himself. You went still, and didn’t quite hear him the first time when he mumbled, “Is that too tight?” 

You swallowed. “It’s fine, thank you…” 

He moved back in front of the counters again and tied his own apron. “You each have a recipe in front of you. Don’t use it unless you need it. If you listen to me, you won’t need it at all.” 

You nodded and put your hands behind your back, not sure what else to do with them until he instructed the ten or so of you to find the flour. The others scrambled to the part of the kitchen you knew had flour somewhere around it, but you distinctly remembered there being another, smaller bag of it in a different pantry, so you went there instead. You retrieved it and presented it to Bakugou.

“Is this flour?”

He blinked. “No. That’s sugar.”

“Oh…”

“You’ll need it. Take it back to your station.”

“Oh, okay!” You smiled. Turning on your heel, you did as he instructed, and waited patiently until you were told to find the sugar (which you already had), baking soda, baking powder, cocoa, salt, and espresso powder. You tried to keep the list of the items in your mind as you turned to search for them, but found yourself at a loss. 

It was your fault for only partially-listening when Bakugou had given the instructions, but were you really to blame? He was wearing a sleeveless shirt under an apron that hugged him tight enough to show off his tiny waist. How were you supposed to have paid attention with that in front of you? 

But you wouldn’t say any of that to him- never in a million lifetimes- so you were as quiet and unassuming as possible as you took the recipe from the countertop and went over it. You knew where the flour was, and you had the sugar, but looking around the kitchen, you couldn’t spot anyone with espresso powder, which you didn’t even know was a thing that was supposed to go in cakes, but that wasn’t the point. You stood, biting your lip, until Bakugou came over again.

“What are you confused about?” His voice was a lot softer than you expected it to be, seeing as how he’d done nothing but yell at everyone else (you couldn’t blame him. Cooking was just that big of a passion for some people), but you couldn’t complain. You looked down at the recipe to avoid his eye.

“I’m not confused, I just- I don’t know who has the espresso powder.” 

Bakugou put a hand on your arm, and you tried not to melt under it as he shouted over your shoulder: “Who has the espresso powder?!”

“Is this it?” Kaminari lifted a large jar of brown powder over a sea of other bakers-in-training, which drew another rant from Bakugou about kitchen safety and do you want someone to get a concussion when you drop that?!, but you were still too focused on the weight of his hand. When he got done yelling, he squeezed your arm gently before looking down at you, and you swore you felt your heart stop before beating out of control. 

“Go and get a teaspoon of espresso powder. I’ll announce everything else, but if you forget the measurements, just look at the damn recipe.” 

You nodded and said, “Okay. Thank you, Bakugou.” 

Walking away, he muttered a quiet “you’re welcome,” and you could only smile to yourself as you looked back down at the recipe. 

Bakugou called out the measurements, and eventually, you had everything in the mixing bowl, and whisked through the powders until combined as instructed. You were then told to add milk (Bakugou measured that out for you without you needing to ask) and add two eggs (he did that for you, too) with vegetable oil and vanilla. Once you had everything in, you began to stir it, but apparently, whatever you were doing was wrong, because he moved behind you to take your hands in his on the side of the bowl and on the paddle. 

“You have to be more rough with it,” He muttered, moving your hands at a faster pace. “Or you’re gonna be standing here for three hours until it finally mixes.” 

You couldn’t even find the words, anymore. The voice that constantly nagged you in the voice told you that you were doing everything wrong, and that you were helpless for needing his assistance with each and every step, but you really couldn’t complain. Another voice told you that you were actually doing well and that he was helping you because he wanted to, not because he felt obligated, but you pushed that thought back. You knew that wasn’t true. It couldn’t be. (Could it, though? (No. No it couldn’t.))

After he decided it was mixed to his satisfaction, he stepped away and went to observe Kirishima’s bowl.

“Is it supposed to be this kinda poop brown?”

“Never fucking say that again about food. And what the fuck is this? Stir it!” Bakugou grabbed the bowl and stirred it with vigor while Kirishima stood by and laughed. He didn’t hold Kirishima like he’d held you. And as he went around to stir the bowls of others, he didn’t even lay his hands on those faring worse than you. You furrowed your brow, but elected to continue stirring to keep yourself busy. 

You were then told to put the batter in the two prepared pans in front of you, with the word “evenly” stressed after the fact. Bakugou again walked over to you as you got done. “Is this okay?” 

He huffed. “This one has more batter, but it’ll do. Go put them in the oven.” 

You nodded and put the pans in the oven, nearly dropping and spilling one on the way before catching it- but other than that, they went in smoothly. Over the next half hour, you took Bakugou’s advice and used a toothpick to check the center of the cakes, and sat on the flour-covered counters in the meantime while they baked. Bakugou came to sit by you while you twiddled your thumbs.

“You did a good job today.” 

You looked at him, then immediately back to the oven with wide eyes. “Oh. I-I feel like I messed everything up, to be honest…” 

“You did fine. You didn’t mess anything up.” He didn’t look at you, so you both kept staring at the oven, afraid of eye contact.

You hesitated before saying, “Thank you for helping me.” After a moment, you added, “You’re a really good teacher.” 

“I know.” His head whipped over to where Kaminari was about to eat a spoonful of cinnamon, and chucked a wooden spoon at his back. “Not in my kitchen, asshat!” 

You actually giggled at that, which was even more embarrassing with him looking at you afterwards. You quieted yourself soon after and shoved your hands into your lap. 

“Why do you do that?”

You blinked. “Do what?”

“You always stop laughing. You laugh enough with your friends but never with me. Stop doing that.”

“Who says you’re not my friend?” You asked before you could stop your tongue, then meeting his eye. You desperately wanted to look away, but the need for a connection with him was too strong. “You are. My friend, I mean. Uhm.”

“So laugh if I do something funny. It pisses me off when you don’t.” He hung his head to mess with his hands, and you grinned shyly to yourself as you turned away.

“Okay.”

When the cakes were pulled from the oven, Bakugou was by your side the most, helping stack the layers and frosting it with chocolate buttercream. In which, when your hand brushed against his as you frosted the cake, you didn’t shy away from him. You each stole little glances, meeting one another’s eye every now and again (which was starting to become less uncomfortable each time). 

You thought your cake was a little dry. He said it was the “best fucking thing” he’d ever eaten.

-

taglist: @keigos-dove​ @knifeewifee​ @wesparklebitch​ @bvnnyclouds​ @hanniejji​ @katsukis-sad-angel​

other tag/s: @pixxiesdust​

- dm/inbox to be added or removed from a taglist. 

#katsuki bakugou #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo imagine #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x reader #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #reader insert #tw: language

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Top 5 Character Deaths That Made Me Side-Eye the Writers

There are a lot of character deaths in TWDG... obviously. It a series about the literal dead walkin’ around and eating people, so as you’re playing, one of your favorite characters is bound to meet such a fate. To give this series credit, it does have quite a few well-executed deaths that, while I hate them, they have a purpose in the story that works. 

The best example of this is Lee’s death-- we all hate that Lee dies, but it’s well-done. It serves its purpose, it acted as both a shock and a slow-burn for the player, and left us all an emotional mess. 

However, we’re not talking about the “good” deaths today. No, we’re talking about the character deaths that are poorly executed, cheap, lazy, and just plain dumb... they’re the deaths that make me side-eye the writing team and wonder what the fuck happened there. 

By the way, it was reeeeeeal fun narrowing it down to only five deaths, because it seems like for every great death, there’s at least two bad ones.

5. Mariana and her death that ruined ANF’s potential story

I’ve talked at length about Mariana’s death and how much I hate it. Like, I get it TWDG... you love your sudden deaths and you’re so edgy for killing off a child character because you’ve never done that before... but maybe consider things a little further before pulling the trigger?

Yeah, killing off Mariana the way they did got a reaction outta people when it happened, and we got the burial scene if you stayed with Clementine... but you didn’t consider the future of this storyline? You pretend you did by name dropping Mari when it’s convenient, but then throw it out the window when it comes to characters like David or Gabe.

Listen, I know that ANF is a mess and what’s the point in telling the mess that it’s a mess? Well, I’m still annoyed at the writers for wasting the biggest opportunity for this game’s story, something that could’ve saved it from being a mess.

And I get it, you gotta make a death quota, so instead of killing Mariana off... why not kill Kate off instead? Oh no? We don’t get the stupid love triangle that no one actually enjoys or is engaged in?

Instead of this dumb story about Javi falling in love with his sister-in-law but oh no David’s back.... we could’ve had a story about Javi losing Kate and being left to care for two children by himself. Mariana and Gabe are all he has left, and he going to do whatever he can to keep them safe all while the three of them are mourning Kate.

Then David comes back, and he immediately takes these kids away from Javi.

There is no stupid storyline with Kate, but an actual conflict between two brothers who were never on the same page and two kids caught in the middle.

Plus, Mariana herself as a character really could’ve brought something to the table. She could’ve brought out a lot in David’s character since she seems to be more like Javi.

Her death is just... annoying. It’s frustrating when you know they could’ve told a better story with her alive, something ANF desperately needed.

My side-eye is one of disappointment and annoyance.

4.Luke and his easily preventable drowning

Ugh.... where to even begin? 

Luke really just gets butchered as a character throughout the second half of S2, and the writers end up demolishing the set up they placed at the beginning of the season for a Luke vs Kenny thing. 

Why? Well, Luke vs Kenny was the initial ending they were gonna go with, but because this season went through all kinds of bullshit, they scrapped that and replaced Luke with Jane... and it’s so dumb.

Hell, it kind of ruins a lot. Not only did it ruin Luke, a character that many players loved, but it forces the new character of Jane, who we only get two episodes to get to know, so they can fade Luke out. 

But that’s not all. 

His death is so... ugh. It’s stupid, okay? Stupid and easily preventable, but noooo... we gotta kill Luke off for reasons because all we know is that S1 killed off a lot of characters and we’re gonna do that again but worse because we failed to understand what made those deaths impactful in the first place. 

Lots of character death and despair = good game. 

Yep, uh-huh. Okay. 

So we all know that Luke’s leg is hurt, yeah? Great, so you’d think that the group that has an injured man and a new born baby would be extra cautious and go around the frozen lake. Yeah, Arvo says that it’s safe but let’s not take any chances. 

But no. We gotta go across like a group of dingdongs and whattya know-- the ice begins to crack beneath Luke’s feet. Now, even here, we coulda got him outta there safely... if Bonnie wasn’t a dingus. 

Think about it. If we shot the walkers who were coming towards Luke with all their weight, he could’ve slowly scooted away, even if he’s already fallen through. BUT NO. Bonnie either guilts Clementine into going towards him, adding more weight to the already fragile ice as Luke tells her to stop, or Bonnie will go over there herself... and she’s a full grown woman soooo her weight breaks the ice. 

Good job, you dipsticks. 

When you have to make your characters into morons in order to move the plot along and kill off characters....maybe do some rethinking, yeah? 

 3. Mitch and his shock-value death

This death is so dumb... so incredibly, dumb. Even now, I can’t help but give full side-eye to the writers every time one of them tries to justify this death. 

I’m sorry, but this death didn’t have the impact you wanted it to have. And because there’s always someone who says, “Mitch didn’t die for shock value, you just can’t tell the difference between a good and bad death” lemme tell you a thing. 

What was the point of killing of Mitch? Well, according to those who worked on TFS, it was to show that Lilly and the delta are serious. This is when shit gets real, and when Lilly is established as a bad bitch who will do whatever it takes to get what she wants. We should be scared of her now. 

Except no. 

This scene doesn’t tell me that Lilly is a bad bitch. It tells me that she has good reflexes, and going off her reaction after killing Mitch.... I’m not fucking scared of this dumbass. If anything, this scene says more about Mitch than it does Lilly. It says that Mitch is also a dumbass for running at her like he did. 

Y’know what would’ve been more impactful? If Mitch didn’t immediately get stabbed in the throat, but instead, actually got her on the ground and struggled with Lilly. Then, Lilly gets the upper hand and when you think she’s about to send Mitch to the cart, she fucking murders him in front of everyone to prove a point. 

There’s no remorse, it’s slow enough for Lilly to actually process what’s happening and show that she does know what she’s doing. That would scare me. That would show me that these people aren’t fucking around and they’re willing to kill some of them if that means getting the rest for their army. 

You still get your shock value death but it actually does something other than kill a character off. 

I’m really supposed to believe this is the same Lilly who can order to have Louis’ tongue cut off? 

But it doesn’t end there. No, no... there’s another part to Mitch’s death that annoys me, and it’s how insistent everyone was that his death is going to have a greater impact on the second half of the story. It had a purpose within the story, we did it for a reason.

...I mean, it has an impact on Willy and his arc for the second half. 

But that’s it. 

Oh... oh, what’s that? Oh, you were referring to those throwaway lines about Tenn? “He was screwing up again, just like when he got Mitch killed.”

OOOOOH.... I see, that’s what Mitch’s death was really amounting to... some lines dealing with whether or not AJ shot Tenn. Well, I guess I was wrong. Mitch’s death wasn’t just shock value. It really had a big purpose. In fact, Mitch’s death has the biggest impact on the series. Fuck Marlon and Brody’s deaths, and Lilly and James, and hell, fuck Tenn’s death, too. They’re meaningless compared to Mitch’s death. You did it, guys. You really did it. 

....Okay, I’m done. I’m just... salty, I fully admit. 

Being serious again, Mitch’s death is probably the worst in TFS as far as unpreventable deaths go and the real reason I side-eye the writers is because they tried to tell us it was going to have this huge impact in the future and it just... didn’t. 

2. Nick and his offscreen death.

I’m sorry, but what the fuck happened here? Why- what are you- how the hell did this happen??

I’m actually baffled. 

Someone wrote this. 

They set up at the end of ep3 that Nick is shot.... then ep4 comes and we find him like this. I just... did someone on the writing staff not wanna do their job that day? Someone was working on the story and at the last minute forgot Nick was a character, so they were like “Eh, he’s not important anyway, and it adds to the shittiness of everything so we’ll pretend this was 100% intentional.” 

Nick was one of your more interesting characters and you really thought killing him off like this was the way to go, huh? 

Like, his first death is shitty, but in the very least it kind of makes sense. 

But this? 

This is horrible. If I wrote this, I’d be embarrassed. 

I just... I’m so tired of S2 right now. 

This is at #2 because it’s just lazy, bad writing. At least with Luke, Mitch, and Mariana, we got to see their deaths and they had some, even if just a little, impact on the story afterward. 

But Nick? 

Nothin’.

Even Luke, who is the closest person to Nick, name drops him maybe twice? It’s just.... nothing. 

And yeah, you can come at me with the “oh well not every death has to have meaning!” 

This is a story, okay? This is a story crafted with characters who have arcs by people who wanted it to be a success, and usually that means having satisfying conclusions.... or, intentionally unsatisfying if that acts as a natural conclusion to their story or is a reoccurring theme. 

Nick’s death is just the writers falling flat on their faces and hoping no one would notice. 

1. Sarah and both of her shitty deaths. 

Ugh. UGH.

Okay. 

I’m not even side-eyeing anymore-- I’m fully glaring.

I don’t have to tell you how shitty both of Sarah’s deaths are. We all played S2, we all know that no matter what you do, Sarah dies in ep4. You can try to save her, she lives a little bit longer, and then falls to her death... and both deaths have her being devoured alive by walkers. 

Now, this is enough to annoy me. First off, I guess my choices don’t really matter. Sure, you can justify this as one of those “sometimes you can’t save someone, no matter how hard you try” ...and fine. Sure, if they had bothered to execute that point well, then great. 

But I disagree that the writers had that in mind when they were killing Sarah off. 

In fact, I know what what going on in their brains-- “God, can’t wait to kill Sarah off! Give us any reason to do it! She’s so damn annoying!”

The writers have openly admitted that a lot of the team were just waiting to kill Sarah off, waiting for any reason, so when the major part of the community who take everything at surface level because why think? kept complaining about Sarah, they jumped on the opportunity to kill her off.... but the deaths are dumb.

Listen, this isn’t like when the writers planned on killing Lee off. You can plan a death and even be excited about it because you’re excited about the story and execution of it all. You can be excited to see the heartbreaking end of this character’s story that you crafted because you know you put everything you had into it.

These deaths were lazy and the product of a team who didn’t care about the character. Sarah dies and no one cares. 

Sure, you leave her to die the first time and Jane does her thing about how you can’t save everyone, she talks about Jaime, and then Luke exposes himself as the fake Luke by agreeing that leaving Sarah behind was probably the right thing. Like what?

Now as much as I hate that first one, the second one is even worse. 

For some reason, Sarah is standing in the corner while they’re trying to fight off the walkers instead of being inside with Rebecca... y’know, where she would be if this was logical. 

Then the deck breaks and Sarah falls, trapped under a pile of wood. Jane, despite being the one who sees Sarah as a liability, goes down there to try and help her after Clementine begs her to. 

But because the writers don’t know what they’re doing, Jane gets hit by a random piece of wood and can’t get Sarah out in time, leaving her to be eaten alive by walkers. 

Then AJ is born and no one cares about Sarah ever again. 

I just.... 

Could’ve had an interesting story arc with a character who just lost her father in such a gruesome way, a character that already deals with anxiety and other problems that you never bothered to explain other than “she isn’t like Clementine” and you could’ve had her grow. 

But I guess that would’ve taken effort.... and screen time away from Kenny, and god forbid we ever do that. 

---

Honorable Mentions

-Ava falling to her death in the most comedic way possible, made even more hilarious by David’s two seconds of mourning. -Omid.... because hope is dead. Do you get it? Hope? is dead? Because Omid means hope? Do you get it?? -Honestly you could put most of S2′s deaths on this list because oh my god. -Ben because I’m still a salty bitch.  -I also wanna add Louis and Violet’s deaths on the bridge mostly because they die, Clem is sad for two seconds, Tenn says sorry, and then no one cares. Yeah, yeah, they mourned off screen and I call that lazy bullshit. -Hell, throw Tenn’s death on here, too, for similar reasons-- no one but Louis/Violet and AJ seem to care. Even Clementine is like “whatever” after it happens. 

---

Y’know, picking this one seemed like a good idea at the time, but by now I’m just annoyed by all these dumb deaths. So, what are your thoughts? Are there any deaths that make you question the writers that didn’t end up on the list? Do you agree or disagree with my list? Lemme know, we can have a friendly discussion about it. 

Have any suggestions for future T5F’s? Feel free to send ‘em in! :D

---

Next week’s T5F Top 5 Favorite Louis Moments

#twdg t5f #twdg clementine #twdg javier #twdg kate #twdg mariana #twdg gabe #twdg david #twdg luke #twdg jane #twdg kenny #twdg nick #twdg sarah #twdg mitch #twdg willy #twdg louis #twdg violet #twdg tenn #after this i need to talk about muh boy #louis content coming next friday

[jamestrmtx]

Wish Upon a Night Sky - [Beastars | Various x Reader]

[Female, Sheep Reader | Slow Burn]

Act Seven | Lamb vs. Sheep

[Act One Link] | [Act Six, Scene Three Link] | [Act Eight, Scene One Link]

"Want me to wait for you?" Jack asks, standing by the door frame. "Juno told me what happened."

You look up from your bag, putting a halt to organizing it to face him. "She did?" Your words come off more surprised than you wish them to, curiosity remaining as to what she could've possibly said to him. Nonetheless, you wait and continue packing up, faster now that the offer of being waited for's surged up.  "Want me to wait for you?" Jack asks, standing by the door frame. "Juno told me what happened."

"She was worried about you," he adds after a nod, concern replacing his smile with a frown. "But she didn't say much about it, just that you were attacked last time." He approaches you, crouching next to you as he helps you with your books. "Are you sure you're okay? You were really quiet today, and I think even Dom noticed the difference today." 

"I was naive," you blurt out, sighing as you set a book down and clutch onto the skirt of your uniform, letting out your stress through it. "I forgot about the dangers around me, and I... I got too comfortable too quickly."

There's a hint of gloom present in the canine's eyes, one he covers up by managing another smile. "I'm not gonna pressure you into telling me anything," he says, offering you a hand as soon as he gets back on his feet. You accept it, the weight of your bag being a little more heavier today. While you'd managed to come out scar free from the incident, fear still remained in your thoughts, resulting in your subconscious wanting to lessen your trips to the library. "But," he speaks up again, smile growing. "I'm sure Legoshi could help with that better." A chuckle bursts through, a hint of nervousness heard from it. "Maybe it's not the wisest advice to keep telling you to make friends with people like us, but I'm sure you can open up to him better for this kind of thing."  

"Does he…" You consider your words, against making them sound too intrusive. "So you're saying he has more experience on the subject?"

Jack nods, waiting for you to exit the library for him to close the door. You follow him, walking right beside him, steps quick despite you reassuring yourself you were safe. "A lot more than me, that's for sure." You wait for him when you realize you're going faster than he is. He notices and covers up a laugh, continuing the conversation when you make it back. "I can tag along tomorrow with you two, if you don't feel safe."

You stop walking, making him be the next one to dial back on his steps. A furrow shows on your gaze as you face him, unsure how to voice out what's on your mind. "It- It's fine! I like being around you guys, so it's no big deal, but..." You stop yourself, already regretting your words. "Juno, she…" You hesitate, biting on your bottom lip to keep your voice from shaking. "She…" Her confession after rescuing you feels too personal for you to say it out loud. You bite back your tongue, sighing your defeat.

"She likes you, doesn't she?"

"What?"

You almost sputter that question out with how sudden of a blow his words are. You can feel your face grow warm, reminding you of yesterday night. His words had been about as much of a surprise as having Juno flirt with you back then. Composure returns with the help of him elaborating his question better, adding more context to it. "It's nice to see you two got along well so quickly. It's only been a month, hasn't it?" He faces your side, a hint of melancholy present in his eyes. "I still remember the day you found out you'd be rooming in with her." He laughs, beaming afterwards. "Your face back then was really something, (Y/N)."

You're almost at your dorm, though you stop for a moment, not quite ready to end the conversation yet. More questions than answers fill up your mind, and curiosity and confusion have only managed to heighten. You want to hold him back for a minute more, yet the bell rings, signaling it's about time to wrap things up and be making way to your dorm. "Jack," you call out, halting him with the tug of his arm. "Could we talk more later?" He looks down at you, agreement already showing on his face. "Even if you say you don't have much experience on what happened... You're still my friend, and talking with you still helped a lot."

You let his arm go when you see him tense up, a bit of embarrassment showing on his face. "Sure," he mutters; a harrumph covers him up, allowing him to ease out more. "I-"

Before Jack can say anything, you give him a quick hug, letting go as quickly as it happens. "Thank you!" You smile at the canine and fix your hold on your bag to wave at him, confident. "See you tomorrow."

Slowly, he nods, bringing a hand to the back of his neck and using his free one to wave back at you. "See you tomorrow."

You glance a look back to him one final time before knocking on the door of your dorm, opening it when you receive no response. The inside reveals your bunk beds and belongings, though Juno's nowhere to be seen. Being the only two girls so far in the hybrid dorms made it easier for you to notice when something was wrong or different, yet everything seems intact; right where you left it.

"Juno?" you call out. It's odd for her not to be around at this hour, though judging it's only been a month since you've known her and everyone around, you don't discard the possibility of her having other plans. Worry over her being in trouble rises, but the reminder of her being a wolf makes you ponder as to what kind of trouble she could be in.

Was it the person from yesterday?

Or was it bullying by other students, as she'd once mentioned?

When you hear a knock on the door, all worries are set aside, and you peek outside to see her waiting, calm and collected. You're the opposite of her, bursting the door open to receive her with a hug, much more stronger and longer-lasting than the one you'd given Jack. Fear and worry over things going wrong make you break and show the weaknesses your family had warned you about showing.

You don't care about that now though, the relationships you've formed and the experiences you've lived with them deeming these necessary of gratitude. Acting too soft for who you were didn't matter at the moment. For now, you were just glad the wolf was alright and that you could still have her safe by your side. 

She hugs you back, surprise taking her a while to bring strength over the embrace. "Is this our new way of greeting each other?" she teases, giggling.

Letting go, you look down and shake your head, replying with, "No." You face her and smile, relieved to see her in good shape. "...I was just worried something happened to you."

Juno returns your smile with a grin, and her hand reaches out for you. "Shouldn't that be my line?" she asks, ruffling the top of your head. "Either way, I'm happy you're safe, (Y/N). I felt the same yesterday... But I didn't expect you'd act that way with me, too."

#various x reader #legoshi x reader #legosi x reader #haru x reader #jack x reader #juno x reader #rouis x reader #louis x reader #beastars x reader #female reader #sheep reader #slow burn #romance #mystery #thriller #lgbt #lgbt themes #long fic

[yang-did-everything-right]

Episode Eleven

I’m a bit late on this but I didn’t sleep amazingly so it had to wait, still really that title is all we really need right? No one who watches RWBY right now, not even the antis, not even they can say this was a bad episode. Because if you strip out the shipping, it was still an amazing episode. It had a new medley for the mecha fight with parts from every character’s theme, unified themes and it was a very technically sound portion. But that’s not what you’re here for, lets be honest. I know what you’re here for, so lets get right to it.

Adam vs Blake, was poetry in motion. It was a story being told before our eyes. It was a snapshot that was once black and white, but given color and life before our eyes. We knew and assumed many things about how a fight between Adam and Blake might go were she not paralyzed by fear and this was pretty much it. She was scared, to be sure. but Adam felt the need to verbalize it because she dared to resist against the death she so plainly deserved in his eyes. A good half of the fight was her running away, because she certainly did not want to be there. If she could get away from him instead of fight him, she’d prefer that. However he denied her that option and so she fought and boy did she.  Her finesse, clever counter attacks and sharp use of her semblance allowed her to keep up with Adam for a time. She even managed to get his sword away from him which was amazing. However, Adam trained her and is still able to get into her head even now. More importantly however, he is physically stronger than her and allowing him to grapple her again is what sealed her fate in their fight. Had she been able to keep him from his sword the battle might well have gone in her favor. Still for being the underdog in their fight she had a resounding showing and I for one am extremely proud of Blake. However the fight that came next, made it clear that he was drastically holding back against her, likely due to the fact that he knew her and her combat style so well that he could afford to. Though when she took his blade away, that stopped. It was only afterwards that he started using his semblance and broke one half of gambol shroud. Though it was what followed that led to what is up to now, the best fight in this volume if not the series. Yang vs Adam. She came in with a Yang and Bumblebee was sacrificed to give Bumbleby life. Adam also took the full brunt of that motorcycle to the aura and there was no indication he blocked any of it, so it was easily the single biggest hit he’s taken so far and surely played into the later fight. Some people have wondered how Yang could be so apparently fearless during her fight when she plainly still suffered from ptsd in a big way. It might not be immediately obvious to people without/lacking understanding of ptsd, but as someone that suffers it I am in a unique position to elaborate. The thing about ptsd is, while you will always have it, it is not always ‘on’ and it can be completely overridden by a greater mental stimuli. For Yang, her emotional trauma was first and foremost, the loss of Blake and secondly, the loss of her arm. This can be seen in how she is able to easily joke about her arm and condition, with her father and later with her team and JNR. However she cannot do the same when it comes to Blake. Every single time Blake was brought up prior to them meeting again, it was met with anger, sadness and depression. This was absolutely intentional, as Blake is wound up tight within the mental condition of ptsd for Yang. So, Yang was presented with an absolute reason to be fearless. The Absolute Loss of Blake.Blake’s death would be an inconsolable weight on Yang, something I am very sure she would be unable to recover from. Moreso if it happened due to her own inaction, thus the exact opposite happened and her action revved into overdrive. Adding to this however, comes all the way from volume 4. The song Armed and Ready. Songs in this series are intrinsically tied to characters and the very theme of the show, music and art and colors were once outlawed in the world of remnant and an entire war was fought to bring those things back into the light. Whole generations of people named after colors and music and art as a form of rebellion. This is not an accident. Yang has been pumping herself up for this fight for three whole volumes, anyone who has similar experiences can verify that more than anything else, it is a battle of the mind.  So that takes us to the fight itself and it was insane. Adam shows the audience immediately that his showing in v5 was a fluke from being outsmarted, outplotted and goaded into action by his victim. He did not just want to finish Yang, he wanted to humiliate her, dominate her and break her. That, is what he wanted to do. Key word, Wanted. He threw the book at Yang. His attack echos were particularly interesting, where his semblance was used to create ‘echos’ of his attacks that followed up with his attacks briefly. He also used a number of shockwaves, blast waves, blade beams and the like but it was effective at only one thing, knocking Yang away. Because once she got into his guard? She absolutely pummeled him the likes of which I’d never expected. But lets take this piece by piece, when Adam began fighting Yang he rushed her aggressively and seemingly put her on the defensive. But this was not him putting her on the defensive, this was Yang doing her homework on the spot. We need to remember something, Yang has -never- seen Adam fight before. Never. Her only experience with Adam, was losing an arm to a single slash too fast to even follow. So the only thing she knew was, “If I can see him, I have a chance.” The most important part of any duel, is if both opponents even have the means of challenging eachother. If not, then it isn’t a duel, it is a one sided slaughter. The first test then, was seeing if she could follow his attacks at all. Spoiler alert: boy could she. She used his heavy opening aggression as a way to feel out his speed and strength, she discovered pretty early that she was stronger than him. She also learned that his energy blasts multiplied his strength enough to send her skidding backwards. Most importantly however, she learned that she was no longer too slow to keep up with him and in fact, reacted faster than he did. She evaded his actual attacks and blocked his echos and energy, he did not land a single attack on her that was not blocked. This is extremely important.  Once the opening salvo was done, she turned on the offense and Adam absolutely had no answer for it. She pounded him really hard and you could hear the sounds of pain from him, if you pause the video at choice parts to boot, you can see his face twisted in anguish. She hurt him. She forced him into the defensive which is a problem for her. Why? Because his core style isn’t an offensive one as most seem to believe. His core style is defend and counter, that is what his semblance is built around. Defending enough to build a meter and unleash brutal counters. Yang’s brutal offensive forced him to return to his basics, blocking as many of her attacks as he could with his sword, so that he could attempt to speed blitz and blast wave her to death. However this was also blocked which put her in position for Blake to give her a quick lesson on his semblance which changed everything. The parallel of her having to feel the pain of the damage she took verses him being able to get away with feeling nothing was extremely powerful, as it outlined a sociopath compared to one who self sacrifices. Once Yang understood, Adam failed to block her attacks with her sword again for a fair portion because she no longer went for his sword as a strike target, she even used the very move she used in v3 to come at him, just to juke and school him in a beautiful combo. However this was when Adam actually used his sword to block an incoming strike rather than making his sword a target, because he couldn’t get away with that anymore. The resulting blast and very heavy fighting left Yang tired even though she had not really taken any damage.  Importantly however, Adam was also left panting and looking weary. He certainly had not expected the blond that he’d one shot a year ago to be giving him a genuine run for his money, yet here we are. More than that though, he also saw the look that Yang and Blake were giving eachother and it was a stark reminder of that moment in v3. That moment when he considered Yang someone worth killing to torment Blake, someone that Blake loved. At that moment, it was a bit more likely that he considered them close friends rather than intimate. But even love between dear friends can be powerful, just look at how devastated Yang was after the fact. They certainly had not been dating then, they certainly had not confessed any feelings then. At that point in their lives, they were just very very good friends. Yet now Adam saw more, Adam saw something in their eyes that enraged him to the point where he empowered himself for an attack so powerful that Blake cried out Yang’s name in such fear like we’ve never seen in this show before. Truly, it was a bad ass looking attack. It was mighty, powerful and awe inspiring. Notably however, Yang blocked it with her mechanical arm and this is important. She did not use her real arm and aura to block it, she did not spend aura to block this attack likely because she couldn’t have. I fully believe that this attack was a kill move, it would have cut through her aura and dealt a truly terrible wound. The fact that it was able to so deeply scar her mechanical arm, something that up to now had not even taken a scratch? Something that Ironwood had personally developed for her? Something that was cutting edge the year it was made? Instead, she tanked that attack like it was nothing and gave Adam a look that left no room for misinterpretation. She was done. Yet despite that, she still gave him a chance. “Leave US alone.” Not just Yang, not just Blake. He was both of their nightmare, but now he was not an invincible dream. Now he could bleed, now he could hurt and now he was standing in front of her. Her high tension however began leading to her shakes, shakes that stemmed from the fight, memories, the ptsd struggling to break through and his taunting when he noticed it certainly didn’t help.

However, Blake was there. Yang was not alone either, just like Blake had not been. Blake learned from the shed, Yang learned from the waterways. Stronger Together. “We’re Protecting Eachother.” They held hands in what might well be the most iconic moment of the series, right in front of Adam. The man struggling so hard to break and kill them. The stage is set, the audience is ready. The final act of this play will commence soon and soon we will see the passing of a great villain, who absolutely deserves everything that is coming to him. Remember his short, remember it well.  Phew, my longest post yet. I hope you folks enjoy it. If you have any asks, questions, comments or critiques, please feel free to send them my way. 

#rwby #rwby spoilers #RWBY volume 6 #Yang Xiao Long #Blake Belladonna #adam taurus #bumbleby

[well-hidden-hot-mess]

just... idk.

i feel like there’s just so much swirling around in my brain right now and idk what to do with all of it so this is just going to be a brain dump of all of that. not that any of my other posts are anywhere near cohesive or organized but i feel like this one is going to be in a league of it’s own mess wise. 

i’m just falling further and further back into what i can see is going to be another week long depression where all i do is stay in bed and numb out with binge watching tv shows and eating my feelings or not eating at all or a combo of both depending on the day/hour and i don’t know how to stop it. like i’m waking up later and later each day and staying up later and later at night and not being productive until later in the morning because i’m physically tired but not anything too bad but it’s the mental exhaustion that’s keeping me in bed as long as i’m there and what’s keeping me up at night too because it’s easier to stay on the couch and watch another episode vs getting up and getting in my bed and watching it there while i fall asleep at a reasonable hour so i don’t feel as much like shit in the AM. i think it’s a subconscious thing where i feel like i can’t get up and the depression is what’s keeping me on the couch at night like how it normally does during the day. like yesterday after my workout/lunch, i was tired which is normal but not where omg i need to take a nap tired so i set an alarm for 30 mins to give me time to relax but not get too comfy where i don’t leave the couch all day. then i got under a blanket and cuddled up with the big ugg pillow thing that was on the couch from when i was vacuuming and ended up spending 3 hours trying to sleep (vyvanse wouldn’t let me fully fall asleep). so much for what was supposed to be a super productive day... AGAIN. like if it’s once in a while, that’s fine because i’ll know i really need the rest but day by day it’s becoming a lot more resting and a lot less of doing stuff - not even like working out stuff but just movement in general where it feels like i just give up on the day so early and not even for like a good reason and it’s not like i actively decide like okay today’s a rest day, i’m just going to chill. it’s like something that just gradually happens as the day goes on where i’m like oh i’ll workout later, later, later, until eventually it’s 9pm and i’ve done nothing all day and just give up. that’s the annoying part because i’m not even like making the conscious decision, it’s like my brain is telling me yeah we’re totally going to get up in 30 mins when that alarm goes off when really it’s like laughing at me because it has no intention of getting up and just keeps telling me what i want to hear so i’ll feel better about it and will stay doing nothing like it wants. i just feel like i have no control over anything anymore and i just don’t know what to do to “fix” that or to regain some sort of control. for a few weeks at least i had my diet and workouts figured out and they happened no matter what mood i was in and even if it wasn’t the walk/run i had planned on doing, at least i did yoga instead so it was some kind of movement and that was fine with me. but now i can’t even get myself to do yoga or anything because i’m too numbed out watching the closer all day and i can’t be bothered to like hype myself up to do anything because subconsciously i know my brain has no intention of following through on that. i normally wake up most days with some level of positivity even the day after i went off track but the last few days i wake up and i’m immediately like ugh. not ugh that i’m alive or anything but just like ugh i have to do this all over again because i know i’m going to have to fight the same mental battles to do even the bare minimum or less of what will make me feel good about the day or something like that. idk how to describe it but i know what i mean. it’s more like to put my type a self at ease like okay we were productive enough to satisfy that part of my mentality. when i’m like this just everything feels like it takes so much more effort than it normally does and combine that with a brain that’s actively trying to push me to the numbing stuff vs the positive stuff, it feels like i’m just stuck in a loop of shit day after shit day where all i’m doing is fighting the same losing battle with myself over and over again. i know being cooped up in my apartment all the time isn’t helping but at the same time, i can’t get myself to go out and do anything other than walk down to publix because i’m out of food. i’ve had money for 2 days already and i haven’t gone to target yet... that’s how you know i’m struggling. that’s why a part of me wants to go find a part time job to ease me back into leaving my apartment and driving somewhere on a semi regular basis again instead of diving head first into it but at the same time i know i’m nowhere near mentally okay enough to bring the stress of learning a new job and pushing myself to leave the apartment right now so i feel stuck. i think that’s also why i liked doing the outdoors workout as part of 75 hard because it helped me practice getting ready and leaving my apartment and going out into the real world every day without the added pressure of having to do anything but just walk which i enjoyed doing. i also hate how much i have to baby myself right now and it’s so beyond frustrating for someone who saw herself as a strong, driven person who could take on anything and now i have to hype myself up to do the simplest tasks and i just hate it. other than the obvious reasons why i hate it so much i think it’s also triggering something in me where i had to do the same thing with like my workouts/activity because of the lyme/migraines and it’s putting me bac in that mentality of being a victim - not that i’m playing the victim but more like how i have to adjust my life and hold myself back because of things that are out of my control that are what’s actually holding me back and i can’t just fix it or put my head down and push through it like i normally do with other things. i really do feel like a victim of my mental health issues and my lyme disease and the fun side effects that come with it like migraines, etc and i hate it because then i feel weak because of the babying that has to happen because of it and because i can’t just power through. i also feel like idk damaged and pathetic which i know isn’t fair because these things are out of my control but i still just feel like it defines me because of the limitations it puts on me and how in my head how other people see me as the “poor lyme girl” or whatever and i hate it because that’s not who i want to be or am meant to be. that’s why up until now i’ve lived in spite of the issues i have to deal with and use the sicilian stubbornness to put my head down and just power through those struggles but now i feel like i’m too mentally sick to do that and i feel like i’m losing that part of my identity that i’ve had for so long and one of the few parts i was really proud of and now it’s like i have nothing left of my identity. like depression has taken away that part of my identity and now even things like working out that used to be such a huge part of my life and such a positive thing for me has now become something associated with the issues i’m dealing with - having to hold back how intensely i can workout because of fear of getting a 3 day long migraine if i push it too hard or get too hot or being too physically exhausted afterwards for 3 days where i can’t do anything else. the more annoying thing is that i’m already working at like 50% intensity of where i used to be and even then i’m having to watch out to not overdo it and how easily i can cross that line and i just feel so fragile now and i think that’s what’s pissing me off the most. to lose my identity as a mentally and physically strong person who everyone was amazed was still standing let alone working like 40 hours with all the extra unpaid hours i put in and then went and worked out really hard and lifted heavy weights and even the level of intensity of my workouts were impressive for a “normal” unsick person let alone someone who almost died from lyme disease and had the highest levels in all of CT and has even had daily infusions for months on top of so many other rounds of treatments to kill it and now i have to worry about the up and down motion of bodyweight lunges or crunches is going to trigger a migraine and god forbid i’m not in a freezing cold climate controlled environment or else my lungs are going to freak out and trigger a migraine. that’s the word i was looking for before - fragile. that’s what’s pissing me off so much about this. i’ve fought so hard to be the strong person despite my issues and that was my identity for so long and i thrived by using that to push me and now that that’s gone, i just don’t know who i am anymore. i lost my identity of being the fit girl who could do all these amazing things in spite of the shit i had to deal with that was out of my control and now i feel like i don’t have anything left so it’s like well who am i then? and all i can come up with is the fragile sick girl who’s mental/physical illnesses define her and limit her and are in control of her/her life and that’s what i fought so fucking hard for so long to not be defined as and now it feels like all of that effort and fighting was worthless because i ended up that girl anyway. the logical part of my brain knows that this phase of my life isn’t going to be how the rest of it goes and it’s just one chapter of my life but right now it’s hard to see it ever changing and god just the thought of that just makes me so sad and hopeless. like i don’t want to die - i really don’t - but i’m dreading living if this is what’s ahead of me for the next like 50+ years. plus what am i going to do when my mom can’t financially support me anymore? i just don’t think i wanted to admit this to myself and now that it’s out there, it just hurts because now it’s real and i can’t ignore these feelings anymore. i know that i want to actually feel my emotions instead of numbing them but fuck this sucks. again logically i know it’s not going to last forever and i’m going to figure it out because the mentally and physically strong, driven person is who i really am and that will prevail over all of this other bullshit but right now this just fucking sucks and i hate it and i just want to skip to where i’m past this and back to the real me, not the sick me. even if i have to deal with lyme for the rest of my life, that’s fine but it’s this major depression and anxiety bullshit that i can’t live with forever because it’s ruining my life. not only now but it’s ruined from like 17 on for me and those are the best years of your life where you figure out who you are and the life you’re going to have and here i am at practically 30 years old and this is where i am in life and it’s not even about comparing myself to others or where i “should be” by now or anything - it’s more that i know the window is closing on certain things i want to happen in my life like starting.a family. i’m already low energy now so imagine me at like 40 chasing around.a toddler... it’s shit like that that really fucks with me because i know i won’t be the best parent i can be and won’t be able to give my future child the best life it could have if i’m constantly stuck on the sidelines because of my illnesses and that just breaks my heart because that would just suck and because now that i’m older i’ve realized that i do want to be a mother and yes i know adoption is an option but not for me. unless i physically am unable to have kids or there’s a risk to their health or something, i want to have my own kid (s). nothing against anyone else obv but it’s just not what i want and i know the clock is ticking on that even being an option so i have to find someone to love me and not just like going through the motions for the rest of my life “love” but like real, true, what movies are made after kind of real love and with how low my self esteem is and how guarded i am and all that other bs, i’m honestly worried i won’t find it and then i’m going to die alone or in a miserable relationship that doesn’t live up to what i want for.myself that i’ll resent and that just sounds miserable and i don’t want it. 

ugh there’s still so much more to go into but i think i need a break. 

[robertsmorgan]

How and Why You Should Try a Sugar Detox

While some people jokingly refer to themselves as sugar addicts, the truth is no laughing matter. Refined sugar causes real, clinically verifiable addictive patterns in your brain and ruinous effects on your body. The average American consumes between 22 and 30 teaspoons of added sugar every day.[1] That’s sugar that you could easily cut from your diet entirely by making intelligent dietary decisions—or you could if sugar didn’t have you hooked. A sugar detox is a way to break the hold sugar has over you.

Basically, a sugar detox is when you cut all sugar out of your diet for a set period of time. ALL sugar. That means no honey, no maple syrup, no agave syrup, no white bread, no alcohol, no natural sweeteners, no artificial sweeteners, no high fructose corn syrup. You’ll be amazed by how much better you’ll feel when you cut the added sugar.

Natural Sugars vs. Added Sugars

It’s important to make the distinction between natural sugars and added sugars. Natural sugars are those found naturally in fruits and vegetables. Bound to other nutrients like protein and dietary fiber, these sugars are broken down more slowly and provide a healthier source of energy.[2]

Added sugars are often refined and stripped of these nutrients, leaving only empty calories. These refined sugars are then added to processed foods and beverages. You may feel a temporary surge in energy from these refined sugars, but they burn fast, and you’ll crash hard afterward. These sugars are absorbed very quickly, which leads to a spike in blood sugar, followed by a sharp increase in insulin, which is in turn followed by a steep drop in blood sugar. Low blood sugar causes hunger, and the whole process repeats in a vicious cycle.

When combined with a sedentary lifestyle, refined sugars lead to weight gain, diabetes, heart disease, and increased oxidative stress throughout the body.[2]

How Is Refined Sugar Addictive?

Most people will accuse you of exaggerating if you liken sugar addiction to drug addiction, but studies have found the comparison to be spot on. When you eat sugar, your body releases opioids and dopamine. These compounds stimulate the pleasure centers of your brain, much like addictive drugs.[3] What’s worse, studies have found that cutting off your sugar intake causes withdrawal symptoms. The effects of withdrawal are less intense than that of hard drugs like heroin, but the process is essentially the same.[4]

Health Effects of Refined Sugar

Refined sugar is one of the most harmful things you can put in your body that isn’t outright classified as a narcotic or poison. We now know that sugar is one of the top contributors to metabolic syndrome, obesity, diabetes, and heart disease. Two out of every three Americans are overweight, and one-third of the country’s population is considered obese. Diabetes now affects 26 million Americans and heart disease is the leading cause of death in the U.S.[5, 6]

Emerging research implicates sugar in a growing list of serious health conditions. Sugar causes our cells to degrade faster, leading to DNA damage and accelerated aging. It’s linked to Alzheimer’s disease, memory loss, and other detrimental cognitive effects. Excess sugar consumption even increases your risk of certain types of cancer, including colon cancer.[5, 7]

Benefits of a Sugar Detox

You may not feel like you consume too much sugar, but I urge everyone to try a sugar detox at least once. The results may astonish you. You’ll lose weight, have fewer headaches, have more energy, and generally feel loads better.

A 2015 study found that cutting sugar for as few as ten days significantly improved virtually all aspects of metabolic health in obese children. It reduced diastolic blood pressure, triglyceride levels, blood glucose, and LDL cholesterol (“bad” cholesterol).[8] Restricting sugar intake improves heart health, cholesterol profile, liver function, and longevity.[9]

One of the more unusual effects of a sugar detox is that your palate will become more attuned to the natural sweetness of fruits and vegetables.There’s a reason foods like sweet onions and sweet potatoes have the word “sweet” right in their names. If you can’t taste it, it’s because your taste buds are seriously desensitized.

With your sugar tolerance back in balance, foods you never thought of as particularly sweet, like bell peppers, carrots, and beets, will start tasting very sweet. An apple will taste like candy.

Once you’ve broken the cycle of sugar dependency and cleansed your system of its effects, sugary snacks like donuts and cake won’t have the same irresistible appeal they once had. I’m not saying that you’ll never want a cookie ever again, but outside of the stranglehold of sugar dependency, you should be able to make clear-headed decisions and enjoy those type of treats in the extreme moderation they deserve.[9]

How to Do a Sugar Detox

The worst part of sugar dependency is that the more you eat, the more you crave. A sugar detox can help break this vicious cycle. Here’s how to do it.

Plan Ahead

Decide ahead of time how long your sugar detox will last. It takes about four weeks to see the full benefits of the cleanse, so I recommend you try it for at least a month. If this seems too daunting, you can try a short week-long cleanse first. You won’t reap the full benefits of a month-long detox, but it’s a good place to start if this is your first sugar cleanse.

Generally speaking, restaurant food is loaded with added sugar, and many eateries don’t provide nutrition facts for their food. This means that you’ll need to prepare your own food during this cleanse. Plan your meals ahead of time. An easy way to do this is to sit down on Sunday and plan out all your meals for the week. After you set a meal plan, shop for all the ingredients you’ll need. Try to add a little variety to keep things interesting.

What Not to Eat on a Sugar Detox

So what shouldn’t you eat during a sugar detox? Avoid foods with a high glycemic index (GI). Let’s start with the obvious stuff. Sugar is clearly off the menu, along with any candy, syrups, cookies, pastries, ice cream, and other obvious sugary foods and drinks.

Get Rid of Soda and Energy Drinks

This may seem like one of the obvious ones, but soft drinks bear special mention as they are the number one source of added sugar in the American diet. Soft drinks are often peddled as a thirst-quenching beverage, but the truth is that they’re little more than liquid candy with added chemicals. Energy drinks can be even worse. The American Heart Association attributes 25,000 deaths every year to sugary sodas in the U.S. alone.[1] Get rid of all of them!

Watch Out for Hidden Sugars

What may surprise you are some of the hidden sources of added sugar. Salad dressing, pasta sauce, granola bars, yogurt, instant oatmeal, breakfast cereals, canned fruit, fruit juice, sweet tea, smoothies, and processed foods all frequently have added sugar.

Watch out for condiments, as many have a very high sugar content. Ketchup, for example, is nothing more than reconstituted tomato paste mixed with high fructose corn syrup. Salad dressing and Sriracha are also loaded with added sugar. Condiments can be especially tricky as we often don’t factor them in when counting calories, and restaurants typically don’t include them in nutritional data. A salad may have only 400 calories and no sugar, but that changes as soon as you add half a cup of honey mustard.

While avoiding refined sugar is the main part of a sugar detox, it’s also important to remove other refined carbs. This means cutting out everything that’s made from bleached white flour. That includes white bread, bagels, cereal, pasta, and crackers.

Cut Natural Sugars, Too

There are also some foods you shouldn’t eat on a sugar detox because of their high carb content, including starchy vegetables like corn, white potatoes, sweet potatoes, squash, and pumpkin.

While fruits are normally healthy, you should avoid fruits with a high glycemic index like bananas, pineapple, and watermelon during the first two weeks of a cleanse. Cut out dried fruit entirely. The sugar content is concentrated and many fruits sold as “dried” are actually candied, which means they were boiled in sugar syrup to make them sweeter.

If you are doing a month-long detox, you can slowly add in naturally sweet fruits after the first two weeks. For a shorter cleanse, avoid them entirely.

Avoid Artificial Sweeteners

“Why no artificial sweeteners?” you may ask. Well, aside from their known harmful effects, this isn’t just a cleanse for your body, it’s also a cleanse for your palette. The chemicals that make up artificial sweeteners can be many hundreds of times sweeter than sugar.[10] Just like a drug addict builds up a tolerance for drugs, our taste buds become desensitized to sweetness. This creates an artificially inflated standard of sweetness, and we require greater and greater amounts of sweeteners just so that our food “tastes right” to us.

Worse, studies indicate that artificial sweeteners can ruin your body’s ability to regulate caloric intake. In other words, they make you feel hungrier, and consume more calories than you normally would, leading to weight gain and obesity.[11]

Read the Ingredients!

Always read the ingredients on any food product you buy. You’d be surprised how often a product whose label boldly states “No Added Sugar” lists sugar as a main ingredient. Food manufacturers often just call sugar by a different name. Other names for added sugar that may appear on a food label include:[12]

Anhydrous dextrose

Cane juice

Corn syrup

Corn syrup solids

Crystal dextrose

Dextrose

Evaporated corn sweetener

Fructose

Glucose

High-fructose corn syrup (HFCS)

Honey

Invert sugar

Lactose

Malt syrup

Maltose

Maple syrup

Molasses

Nectars (e.g., peach nectar, pear nectar, fruit nectar)

Pancake syrup

Sucrose

What You Should Eat During Your Sugar Detox

Though it might first appear that this is a very restrictive diet, consider a sugar detox an opportunity to expand your culinary horizons. Here are some of the best foods to eat during your cleanse.

Vegetables

Eat plenty of low glycemic index vegetables, especially dark leafy greens and cruciferous veggies. Kale, spinach, chard, mustard greens, dandelion greens, arugula, bok choy, Brussels sprouts, broccoli, cabbage, and cauliflower are all good options. Eat them roasted, sauteed in sunflower oil, or raw in salads.

Protein

Include plenty of plant-based protein in your diet. That means legumes, seeds, and nuts. You’ll likely be eating a lot of lentils during your detox, so look up some recipes. I recommend batch prepping some chili or black bean soup for an easy meal. If you find yourself craving an afternoon snack, skip the sweets, and have a handful of walnuts instead. Pumpkin, sunflower, flax, and chia seeds are a nutritious addition to salads.

Healthy Fats

An important part of a sugar detox is to add healthy fats back into your diet. Many so-called “fat-free” foods often just add extra sugar to make up for how bland they taste when fat is removed.[13] Your body needs fat to function, and fats help slow the absorption of sugar into your bloodstream.[14] However, this isn’t an excuse to eat fried chicken and pizza. Add healthy fats like olives, avocados, coconut oil, seeds, and unsweetened nuts.

Alternate Grains

Since white flour and white rice are out of the picture, you’ll need an alternative source of healthy grains. Look for complete grains. These are grains that still have their full fiber content, which slows the impact that carbs have on blood sugar. With its high protein and fiber content, quinoa is a wonderful option. Buckwheat, which is unrelated to conventional wheat and thus gluten-free, is another. Millet, amaranth, and kamut are all solid choices.

After Your Sugar Detox

Once you’ve completed this cleanse, it’s important not to go back to old, bad habits. Don’t binge at the bakery or chug a celebratory soda. A detox can help reset your system, but it’s only a temporary respite unless you incorporate healthy habits on a permanent basis.

If you do find yourself craving a sweet treat, look to natural alternatives. While you avoided these foods during the detox, they can, in moderation, be safely added to your long-term dietary plans. Reintroduce raw fruits into your diet; you’ll be astounded at the depth of flavor. When you need to add some sweetness to your coffee or tea, reach for raw organic honey, blackstrap molasses, stevia, maple syrup, or natural fruit sugars.

You’ll feel better, look better, and have fewer sugar cravings. These effects will be all the more noticeable the longer your cleanse lasts. If you did a week-long sugar detox, try a month next. If you can do a month, then work on making these changes a lifelong commitment. Ultimately, a sugar detox shouldn’t be a one-week gimmick, but a new, healthier way to live your life.

The post How and Why You Should Try a Sugar Detox appeared first on Dr. Group's Healthy Living Articles.

from Robert Morgan Blog https://www.globalhealingcenter.com/natural-health/sugar-detox/

[well-hidden-hot-mess]

me again

so it’s saturday morning and here i am laying in my bed, feeling so beyond physically exhausted and it’s so frustrating. to be fair, i didn’t fall asleep until late last night (like 3am late) so i’m not surprised i’m so dead but that doesn’t mean that my type a self is okay with feeling so useless. i know i set stupidly high expectations for myself but after being horizontal due to stupid vertigo and stuffing my face for a week or more, it’s just becoming even worse. yes i know there’s zero way i could be working out since i couldn’t even be upright for more than a minute without dying and i’m sure could’ve used the diet break but as always i just went off the deep end with my eating and regret all life decisions. i’m just frustrated AF with myself for doing that when i know how badly i want to get to my desired body and honestly more than that, how badly i want to feel good again in my skin. I don’t feel like myself when i’m this “fat” (which i know i still have a mostly flat stomach when i’m not eating shit and i’m not actually fat but i feel bulky and huge because of the fat on top of the muscle makes me look so much larger than i am and not in a good lean with muscle kinda way) and it’s so hard to like idk feel good in general when i don’t feel like myself. like when i’m on track and making progress i feel strong and on top of my shit and motivated and like i could take over the world. when i’m not, i feel like shit mentally and physically, zero motivation to workout or eat well, eat my feelings and make things worse, and just overall shit. a part of me is like i need to love myself at any weight and be more accepting of my body and honestly i am to a degree but i know that i could feel so much happier at the other weight. it’s not even about a number on the scale or 100% just about looks (a good amount is i’m not going to lie but it’s not 100%) but when i look good i feel a sense of pride and success and strength that makes me happy. it’s not oh i’ll only be happy when i’m leaner because i’ll be hotter or whatever, it’s what making progress and being consistent does for my mental health and less about the body at that point and that’s an added bonus. especially since the move is quickly approaching (i’ll get to that in a second), i don’t want to move to nashville feeling like shit about myself when i’m going to need all the mental strength in the world to deal with the move and being alone in a city where i know like one person kinda and not being so close to my mother and my family and my dog and jumping head first out of my comfort zone in every aspect of my life and finding a new job and all that. the last thing i need is to be super preoccupied about my body and feeling like shit when it’s my time to thrive and start a whole new life. plus i’m going to want to try all the restaurants and be social and go out with new friends and that’s going to include lots of country girl’s at Lukes and the nachos at Jason Aldeans aka lots of extra calories/weight. plus i might be working a job where i get to sit down all day so i’ll be less active on top of that so it’s a recipe for weight loss disaster. i want to get there in a body i’m proud of and don’t have to worry about so i can focus on the much more important parts of this whole new life experience. i’m going to do a separate post about my weight loss goals so i can look back at it when i need motivation and to remind myself why i’m doing this when all i want to do is quit because those moments are way too often right now and have been way too easy to fall into and i end up back to like 175lbs aka now. again, i know i’m going to have setbacks where i can’t workout because life happens or i’m going to go have those nachos or wings or whatever but i can’t let that and the fear of that control my life. i just want to live a healthy, balanced lifestyle where i don’t NEED to count macros and get to a body where i can maintain that relatively easy while still enjoying my life and all that it has to give. i’m tired of my body/fitness consuming my brain all the time and it being so strongly linked to my mental state. i just want to break free of the hold that it has on me and feel good in my body. now i know that also dealing with depression and anxiety and disordered eating habits/body image and lyme have a huge impact on my mental state and are all fighting against me but i’ve been letting that be my excuse more lately to not stick to my goals while claiming it’s “self care” when yes, some of it is but not to the extent that i’ve been taking it. it’s also not helpful having OCD/type a-ness and seeing everything as black and white, either on diet or falling completely off, working out hard and killing myself in the gym vs. laying in bed all day and not moving for 24, 48 hours. i’ve created this cycle of that for myself and i’m sick of it. i’m so ready to break free but i know right now with everything going on with packing and the move and all that is not the time to try to start a whole new lifestyle switch but i also know that’s also me using that as an excuse to stay the same. the annoying thing is that it’s not my conscious brain deciding that it’s okay to use that as an excuse, it’s a subconscious thing that i feel like i can’t control and it’s my own brain working against me in another way. i’m just struggling right now with my body image and mental health and i’m so tired of this whole cycle i’ve put myself in so many times. the highs just make the low points feel so much lower and i feel like they’re becoming more frequent and lasting longer. to be fair, i’ve also dealt with a lot the last few months health wise - really bad lower back pain, winter allergies, vertigo, having the cyst, having surgery to remove the cyst and the recovery time afterwards, lyme, pushing my body too hard after staying in the same .4lb range for 3 months and trying to push past that plateau, and more that i can’t think of right now. so like yes there were limiting factors but at the same time, they’re just excuses. did i need to stuff my face every day while i was home recovering from the different things? no. did i? yes. do i keep doing it over and over again even though i always regret it and feel like shit all around when i do it? yes. shit’s so frustrating. i just want a healthy relationship with my body/brain and food and exercise. like is that really too much to ask??

i know i said i was going to talk about the move but now i’m in a mood because i’m actually letting out my feelings and letting myself feel them which is hard when you’re so used to keeping them all in and having this facade of nothing bothers me, i have no feelings, i’m fine, this is fine, everything’s fine. the problem is that i have so much going on in my brain and my life that once i start typing and letting out a little bit, everything comes flying out and i don’t have the time or the energy to get through it all. like here’s just an off the top of my head list of things i need to vent about/need to work through:

the move - both the physical strain and the mental strain

work things - frustrations with the current and the terrifying thing of finding a new job when this one is all i’ve known for 6 years and i’m ripping my safety blanket out from under me and lighting it on fire pretty much

nashville - the move itself, starting over with friends, job, apartment, lifestyle, gym, being the new girl alone in a city with no close by support system, moving away from my family for the first time, dating in a new place

past love life - mistakes i’ve made/they’ve made that i won’t let myself let go of and let define me and just in general

current love life (or lack there of) - feeling alone/being alone, being scared to get back into dating especially in a new place after so long since i was too scared to do that in the city/area i’ve lived in forever, feeling like i’m too awkward to date and that i’m so messed up mentally and physically that i’m not good enough for anyone that i would want and that i’m going to die alone

future - uncertainty of a career, family of my own, success, being a self sufficient adult and not a financial burden on my mother

body image/relationship to food/etc. - pretty much this post but more deep and really pulling the deep dark thoughts out of places i didn’t know existed so i can deal with them

feeling hopeless that i’ll ever be successful in any category of my life - if i can’t even lose weight, why would i ever think i would be able to have a happy relationship/good career/good support group/etc

feeling lost and alone and like i’m screaming out for help to anyone who will listen but not wanting to be a burden on them or be vulnerable and let someone in and have them reject/hurt me or give up this facade of i don’t have feelings and i’m totally fine when i’m not at all

yeah so as we can see i’m all sorts of fucked up and i know that each one of those topics has like pages and pages of words and that’s just the initial post let alone the ones after when i start to actually deal with them vs just getting it out at first. so just thinking about that is overwhelming so i just don’t deal with anything and that’s how i got here in the first place so it’s just a lot. i eventually want to do more posts that are more edited and more helpful to others who go through the same shit but right now all i can do is just word vomit and i know i won’t be of any help to anyone because i’m still going through it and have no idea on how to fix this so it would be the blind leading the blind but they’re both like blackout drunk and stumbling around lol. i feel like the scene from mean girls where the girl is like “i just have a lot of feelings” and i feel like everyone else is damian going “she doesn’t even go here” because i feel so alone and like different than everyone else and so in my own head that i’m isolating myself and making it that much worse because it’s not just in my head that i’m isolating myself because i actually am. oh god this is a whole other rant that i want to get into but i don’t know if i have the mental strength to fully unpack right now. i’m going to end this post because it’s already ungodly long and you may or may not see that posted soon after this one. i love how i say that like anyone follows this or knows this exists and is going to be looking for that post. this is pretty much me just talking to myself like a crazy person. whatever. i’ll be my own audience lol. okay goodbye.