#very out of character for martin but still hilarious

[fruk-choosing-a-username]

playing the sims medieval with oblivion characters, vicente and janus got secretly eloped and lucien later told vicente "if you don't consummate your marriage like right now lord martin will execute you"

so essentially unless the two fucked they were gonna get killed

this game is fucking insane

#very out of character for martin but still hilarious #tes oblivion #oblivion #martin septim #lucien lachance #vicente valtieri #janus hassildor #vicente x janus #janue x vicente #tesblr #the sims medieval #sims medieval #shitpost #tes shitpost

[warletscarlet]

Wild Kratts Headcanons

genuinely have no clue if this fandom is dead or not but I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole and it isn’t stopping. So anyway here we go! All of my hc’s are strictly platonic, Krattcest shippers back away rn 🤺. This is the 2D characters and not referring to the actual people! I know the characters are basically them but this is specifically for the cartoon. they’re all headcanons I either liked or had myself.

-Being as close as they are, Martin and Chris are very physically affectionate with one another (and with the Tortuga crew at times, but mostly the bros). They’re always giving each other hugs or leaning on the others shoulder, or Chris just straight up climbs onto Martin’s back/shoulders.

-With their friends, the boys are always giving them hugs, small shoulder touches, things like that. It’s their natural way of interacting with the people they care about.

-The Kratts have been found sleeping in trees various times (mainly Chris). At this point nobody questions it though they do get worried about him falling out and getting hurt.

-The Kratt Bros are also sometimes found sleeping in the same hammock, whether it’s in the Tortuga or hung up on a tree branch. They usually do this when the other has a nightmare or after partially tough missions (I.E:Flight of The Pollinators, Platypus Cafe, plus other episodes but these are the ones I heard about most and I haven’t gotten to watching too much of the show again yet). Touch is their love language and sometimes they need this to remind themselves the other is okay.

-Chris climbs basically everything. He loves climbing and if you took him to a rock wall climbing gym he’d have a field day. You can find him in the oddest places on the Tortuga.

-Aviva isn’t the most touchy person but will give hugs out of gratitude/happiness.

-The brothers share a single braincell. That is all.

-Jimmy has a very close relationship to his grandmother and was raised by her; which is why he knows all of her recipes.

-Aviva is like a mom friend. Not in the sense she’s motherly but in the sense she has to babysit two hyperactive brothers who are constantly running around/getting in trouble and breaking things.

-Martin can carry Chris no problem (on his back, shoulders or bridal style), but Chris cannot carry Martin on his back/shoulders for long. Though he can hold him bridal style (as we have seen.)

-The bros are huge nerds. If you ask them about animals they will talk for HOURS about them.

-Koki is downright fabulous and can rock anything. Don’t @ me.

-Martin has ADHD and Chris has autism. Martin fidgets, gets distracted easily, and can act impulsively (though reels Chris in when Chris is the one being impulsive). He tends to run off during creature adventures. He has combined presentation ADHD and Martin also has a tendency to forget to charge his creature pod.

-As for Chris, he has autism. He doesn’t recognize social cues and corrects people when he thinks they’re wrong about something, and doesn’t realize when they’re annoyed with him for it. He also can be pretty blunt. And he has to keep things organized, such as how he organized all of his creature disks and hates them being moved out of place.

-Chris, out of everyone, cusses the most. He doesn’t around the Wild Kratt Kids but he will when with the crew/his brother. He has definitely called Zach a motherf*cker and Aviva and Martin found it hilarious.

-The Tortuga Gang have frequent movie nights, but they will never watch a movie where an animal dies with the brothers. They WILL cry.

-After the Tazzy Incident, Chris still has some Tazzy traits. Mostly just sharper canines but also more sensitive senses. He can’t hear, smell and see are well as he could when in tazzy form but it’s definitely increased from normal. His eyes also do that thing cat eyes do when they’re in the dark and the light hits them. Has 100% given Martin heart attacks and absolutely has used it to mess with Zach.

#wild kratts #headcanon #chris kratt #martin kratt #aviva corcovado #koki wild kratts #jimmy z #found family #platonic relationships

[o-uncle-newt]

Cabin Pressure Advent Day 9: Ipswich

IIIIIIPSWIIIIIICH!

In my opinion, Ipswich heralds a really key moment in the development of not just Cabin Pressure, but John Finnemore's (solo) projects in general- it's his first really genius episode in terms of plotting, where he first utilizes Chekhov's Gun with pinpoint precision while also building a watertight and well-structured plot that incorporates great character work.

He shows signs of it earlier in the show, obviously, but this is the episode where he first does it basically seamlessly. Douz is the closest, for sure, but the culminating moment of the plan, however genius it is, still handwaves away a few inconvenient questions like "is it any more legal to drive a plane on the highway than to take off without clearance?" Other episodes also have some good moments but the Chekhov's Gun placements are a bit obtrusive (Cremona and Edinburgh, for example).

(I'll make a note about Gdansk- it has some great Chekhov's Guns, but the plot is basically constructed AROUND them. That requires a lot of its own skill in plot construction, but is different than here.)

What I think is so great about Ipswich is that

a) the Chekhov's Gun is not just planted seamlessly, it's also planted unobtrusively- the masterful way that the number "nineteen" is hammered into our heads at the beginning, only for there to be a red herring appearance of the question/answer that puts us off our guard, and then that final moment of realization and resolution... it's just so good. Smaller ones like Martin's inner ear issue are also handled super well- we hear about it in a very specific context that is relevant to the plot and we don't even think twice about, only for it to come back in a new way later out of nowhere. Chekhov's Gun blends in perfectly with the decor.

b) everything is directly in the service of the plot, and makes sense. This is where there's the difference from Gdansk- there, there wouldn't BE a situation in the first place without some of those Chekhov's Guns that were planted (like the seven dwarves game), whereas here there is a very specific plot (how does MJN do when they need to prove their skills in front of regulators) and all of the Chekhov's Guns directly relate to that. Douglas's use of the "hey chief" line is hilarious both the first time and the second, and is used in utterly characteristic ways that also fit in completely logically with what they've been doing in this episode. There's of course a certain amount of coincidence that you have to allow because that's what makes it a sitcom episode rather than real life, but everything is still done incredibly realistically. (At least, from a human perspective- I don't actually KNOW whether the trainings are like that, but from what others have said they seem to be at least somewhat based on reality so that's cool!)

c) everything is directly in service of the theme! There is also a theme and it melds perfectly into the episode- who is the alpha dog. From beginning to end, we know that this episode is about power struggles, and the fact that something that just seems like a (fucking hilarious) joke- Douglas's whole "hey chief" routine- ends up coming back in something that he addresses, in a certain amount of seriousness, to Carolyn is just perfect. It shows what is only confirmed in the next scene- that Douglas knows who the alpha dog is. And, incidentally, one of the reasons why he knows this is his own realization that if they don't pass, it will "make him feel unemployed." He HAS to concede and that makes the moment only more powerful. (I'd also add that the "Marvin and Dougal" convo serves as a kind of textual evidence for Martin and Douglas, in this episode's power struggle, really being equal beta dogs, but that's not a Chekhov's Gun, just close reading.)

Anyway, I may be overly reading into any of this, but the upshot is that I listened to this, after listening to the prior eight episodes, and was just so massively impressed by the structural quality in a way that surpassed any of the prior episodes- but which I know, as an obsessive listener, is only a harbinger of some brilliantly plotted episodes to come- and the next one is, of course, the fantastic Johannesburg tomorrow!

#cabin pressure #cabin pressure advent #cabin pressure advent 2023 #john finnemore #ipswich #i've stopped pointing out that the episodes have funny bits because i feel like that's something we should take as a given #but arthur is particularly on fire this episode in that department #especially “i know- that's why i'm worried!” #just... chef's kiss

[softguarnere]

Hello Dove! I am new to fandom, I recently finished watching Easy Boys. I read some of your fics on AO3 and loved them. I wanted to ask if your requests still open can I have something sweet with our dear OC Ron Speirs. He is definitly one my favourite characters. A romance fluff maybe or whatever you like :)

Please don't feel any pressure to do that! :)

Everyone, Everywhere, Everything

Ron Speirs x reader

Soulmate au in which on your thirteenth birthday, the first words you ever hear your soulmate say appear as a tattoo somewhere on your body

A/N: Hello love! Welcome to the fandom! I'm so glad you've liked my fics - you're very sweet 💕 Ron is one of my favorites to write, so I really enjoyed this one, and I hope that you will, too! (As always, this is written for the fictional depictions from the show - no disrespect to the real life veterans!) Just a friendly reminder that my requests are currently closed - I wrote this one while catching up on the ones I already have in my asks! Warnings: language, mentions of war

Depending on who you ask, you might just be the luckiest person on earth.

You could hardly sleep the night before your thirteenth birthday, knowing that in just a few hours, you would wake up and have the first words you would ever hear your soulmate say tattooed somewhere on your body. And when you woke up that morning, you not only knew the first words you would hear him say, but you knew his name.

Captain Ronald Speirs, at your service, graced the back of your left hand. Seeing the words for the first time sent a shiver down your spine and a thrill through your heart.

“You know his name!” Your mother had exclaimed, squeezing your shoulders in an excited hug. “And his career! Well, sort of. He’s either in the military or he works on a boat.”

“The captain of a boat sounds mysterious,” you had said, the possibilities of such a career very much shaped by the understandings of the world held in your thirteen-year-old mind. “Maybe we’ll live in a lighthouse together!”

“Maybe,” your mother agreed.

Thirteen-year-old you was right about one thing: your soulmate certainly does have an aura of mystery about him. Something that you learn all too soon once you land in Europe and are introduced to a company to interview.

E Company – or Easy, as they call themselves – are a mixed bag once they learn that you are a war correspondent. Some of them ice you out upon learning that you’re a reporter, not wanting to speak, while others just seem happy to have a woman around, and answer all of your questions, albeit in a manner that’s somewhat flirtatious. It’s during one of these interviews that you hear your soulmate’s name thrown around for the first time.

Settled in a shell of a building in a place called Haguenau, you lounge with some of the men, diligently taking notes as they tell you their stories. All of them – from the downright hilarious to the gritty to the ones that are horrifying and unbelievable.

“No, no, that was before Captain Speirs took over,” one of the men, Skinny, interrupts, correcting his friend about the timeline of an event.

“No,” another man, Martin, cuts in. “It was right after he took over. When he took over for Dike in Foy, remember?”

At the mention of Captain Speirs, you perk up. Suddenly grateful that you’ve been wearing gloves the whole time to protect yourself from the cold, you find yourself staring at your left hand, where you know that very name to be printed.

“Who’s Captain Speirs?” You ask, trying to keep your voice casual. You even ready your pencil, as if you’re just trying to keep the facts straight for the purposes of your notes.

One of the men snorts. “Yeah, that’s a good question. The one that everyone really wants to know the answer to.”

“Oh?”

The men all furrow their eyebrows, glancing between each other and you, having a silent conversation that you can’t translate. Finally, Skinny shrugs, leaning forward in his seat. “Well, see, the thing about Captain Speirs is that he’s a real good leader – “

“But he’s got quite the reputation,” Martin finished. “Some people call him Killer.”

“They what?”

More glances are shared, but less hesitant than before. Then Martin begins his story. “It all started back in Normandy . . .”

. . .

The first few times, Ron told himself that he was imagining it. Simple coincidence was behind the fact that every now and then he would look up to see an unfamiliar woman – maybe one of the nurses? –  watching him from the corner of her eye, only to then look away when she realized that she had been caught.

If he’s being honest, this kind of thing has only happened to him a handful of times throughout his life. One of his older sisters had to explain to him in middle school that one of the girls who sat near him in math kept glancing at him and looking away with blushed cheeks because she had a crush on him. If she hadn’t explained, he might have gone about the rest of his life wondering what those shy glances were about.

But lots of people stare at him these days. He would have to be blind not to notice. And even then, he could probably still feel the weight of their heavy stares and would be able to hear the whispered rumors as he passed by. Have those stories made their way to the nurses in the aid stations?

If the words on the back of his left hand are anything to go by, then everyone everywhere must know everything about him by now. Or at least they think they do.

 Most people wouldn’t expect the infamous Captain Speirs to become tongue tied when Major Winters called him into his makeshift office, asking if he could meet with a reporter on his behalf. “I just haven’t got the time anymore.” Winters had frowned. “Besides, you’re the one in the field with Easy. You can add color to her story that I can’t.”

And most people wouldn’t have expected him to feel his heart begin racing in his chest when he stepped into the room and saw you sitting across from the major. You – the pretty woman who’s been watching him in glances. He had assumed that you were a nurse, since you always seem to be in the background, always near them.

When he enters the room, you and Winters both stand to greet him. You clasp your hands behind your back, wide eyes glancing between him and the major.

“And here he is now,” Winters says. “Miss (Y/L/N), this is Easy Company’s CO. He should be able to get you what you need for your story.”

Ron extends his hand to you. “Captain Ronald Speirs, at your service.”

You have a firm handshake, he can’t help but notice. So firm that you don’t let go of his hand when you look him in the eye and say the words he’s waited most of his life to hear. “Your reputation proceeds you.”

 He steps back. You? But all he said was – oh. So you’ve known about him from the start, then. Known all about him, more accurately. He can’t help but glance at his hand, as if the words could have suddenly changed. Major Winters himself even looks taken aback, which is not something that Ron is used to seeing from him. But Ron’s soulmate tattoo is in a place where it cannot easily be covered. Everyone with basic powers of observation at their disposal knew what the first words he would hear his soulmate say would be.

He’s trying to think of something to say when you offer him a kind smile.

“Don’t worry,” you say. “I don’t believe half of what I hear. I’m a reporter; I’ve been trained to sift through all the bullshit.” Then you laugh, casually, as if it’s the easiest and most natural thing in the world. You tap your pen against your notepad. “You’ll get the chance to clear it all up.”

Speirs nods, trying to be as lighthearted about all this as you are. “Thank you,” he says, then, in an attempt to be less formal, “Although, off the record, I kind of like them. They make me more interesting.”

“Well, I think you’ll be plenty interesting without them.”

He’s not so sure. Really, he’s just Ron, when it comes down to it. What’s so interesting about that?

But for you, he’ll try to be.

#ron speirs #ron speirs x reader #band of brothers fanfic #band of brothers #band of brothers x reader #my writing #hbo war fanfic

[tagedeszorns]

What's boring you about the fandom? Sorry to hear you're struggling with that at the moment.

Just wanted to say though, it is normal to go through stages of fixation and ambivalence, especially if it feels like you might have plumbed the most exciting depths of your preferred niche. (I have felt like that so many times in other fandoms lol...) Maybe it's worth exploring other parts of the fandom, you might find something that ignites your passion again. Alternatively, if you need a break or feel the need to branch out, do it. The fandom will still be here when you feel like engaging again.

(Also, if you feel like it sometime, please tell us more about your minis and joytoy figs. Are they named? Do they have backstories?)

I'm not bored. I'm just having a severe "old man yells at cloud"-moment, like I do semi-regularly. 😉

When I came to the Tumblr-branch of Warhammer-fandom it felt so very exciting - artists and writers regularly got 80 to over 100 notes in a few days on their texts and pics (not just memes and/or shitposts, mind you! The real stuff!) - and not just likes, a lot of reblogs, comments and so much discussion! So many HC were developed here for everybody to see and to participate.

But this all changed. No fire nation, though.

I'm getting a bit tired of saying it over and over myself, but in my opinion it still is true: Discord is slowly killing fandom-permanence. Discord isn't good for conserving things. Ideas vanish. Pics get consumed like fast food and digested just as fast, leaving no nutritional value for viewer or artist. Thoughts get lost, because they wander down the chat-drain and vanish into nothing. HCs get no engagement, fade and die.

The slow, ugly decay of Twitter didn't help. A lot of new people not getting how Tumblr is supposed to be played and take the easy way out to Discord, too.

A Tumblr-blog is a very intimate showcase of a person's journey as a fan. It's like a geological slice of their interests and thoughts. I love that. I want to keep that. I want to get to know other fans. And not the shallow, fleeting way of Discord.

Yeah, as I said - old man yells at totally uncaring cloud. I can't stop time. I have to adapt or remain behind.

And the other thing is my "ceterum censeo" of being bitter about people just paying attention to Primarch-content and don't care about the guys from second row who are in my opinion so much more interesting and colourful. And if they get the spotlight it's just some meme-shit or being waifu'd to hell and back.

I love being silly about characters I like. I love making up shitty sidestories, silly AUs and other absolutely hilarious OOC-stuff. But if that's all that remains from a character, that's just sad.

I need way more Credible Hulks who love quoting the books as much as I do, around me!

But anyways, I'll come around.

That I had quite a few not so very good books this year didn't help either. I need both the Eidolon- and the Xantine-book to be good, next year! And St. Martin better NOT writing any shit about Lucius attacking Fenris (I mean, WTF, St. Martin! That short story was the worst you ever wrote, man!).

#warhammer #Fandom #Meta

[lichtecht]

@is-this-taken-too-questionmark the entirety of my dfk 2023 notes are a bit too long and incoherent and unstructured, so i figured i'd try to compile some topics ive thought about

putting it under a cut cause its still very long

jo and martina get a scene that directly parallels the martin/jonathan bedside scene from 2003. i would also change the way jo’s backstory is shared. and the backstory itself „my mother abandoned me in a disco“ is hilariously iconic, but it doesn’t have any emotional impact. it makes you laugh, even though it’s meant to be sad. instead, jo shares her backstory in the aforementioned parallel. and instead of telling her why SHE is sad, jo comforts martina by, idk, taking her to the lake. -„i always come here when im sad. or when i want to be alone.“ -„its beautiful.“ bonding moment basically. maybe they stumble over the Externs and overhear their plans or something, and thats how we make the shift to action and plot again

some things i wrote down:

Martina/Jo lesbianism

Skating

bedside scene

"I'll just stay here. At home. With you."

Lowkey breakup

jo gifting martina the phone

Justraucher Reunion. Obvsly

Expand on how Robert & especially JUSTUS feel afterwards (cause we dont see justus again until they meet at the hospital)

also on what happened back then

more detailed backstory

(Note -> i have a whole other document with just things about Back Then, i'll get into that later (possibly in a seperate post so it doesnt get *too long*)

Jo & Nichtraucher bonding at the piano

gay mentorship

-> after Jo/Martina’s breakup

Uli

show him being bullied more

make it more of an actual internal conflict

uli being assigned to lead the distraction - would i keep that? i feel like him running away when hes in a leadership role and for everyone to see cheapens his character. and i feel like it doesnt fit with the perception of his character if the others have trust in him. in the 2023 film, its seemingly just the externs who make fun of uli and bully him? so the „enemies“. i feel like its quite important to ulis character that everyone doesnt take him for full, even people on „his side“, even his friends. its a nice gesture from martina to assign uli that role, but it doesnt make sense character-wise. uli isnt used to leading. or even stepping up. the kids should theoretically not have trust in him to be able to do this. it also doesnt make sense to award someone like that with a leadership role, even if its an attempt to help them stand up. (which it didnt seem to be? or am i missing that? maybe it was.) it just… doesnt make sense. and it does uli dirty. when i watched the movie for the first time, i said „thats what you get when you cut sebastian.“ because someone from their group needs to be at the battle and direct it, someone is captive, and several people need to free them. it wouldnt work if only martina stormed the boat house. you need multiple people, and martina and matze need to be there. uli, however, should not and would not lead the attack. thats what we’d have sebastian for. (wonderful, cynical, bitchy sebastian) instead, uli would TRY to partake in the attack, chicken out, and run away. you know. like in the book

The Legend???

the reveal was literally just stupid.

I mean, you could keep that the legend is made up, but it should still have some kind of impact on the other students

like "yeah ok the legend is fake, but dude, he still climbed up there, that was crazy impressive"

Dont know how to feel abt Uli planning the whole thing. Doesnt feel right.

Fr. Kreuzkamm not as ridiculous. Like she still has a sense of humor and her style stays the same (ms frizzle fashion) but she should at least have some respect from the students

Bökh shouldnt be a school director

Bökh Vertrauenslehrer. (dont know how to translate that. like an official teacher who's supposed to be a confidante for the students (although at least i never went to any appointed confidants. but maybe that depends on the person))

school director always threatens to close the boarding school, Bökh stands against it and supports the students

the strict one and the nice one should simply be 2 separate people

would a nicer 2023 Bökh still have acted so shitty regarding Robert and Marie though? it kind of only feels right if he sucks a little bit

(although he obvsly could have changed in those years. but he doesnt seem to regret it or feel guilty so i doubt he feels bad abt it)

i was thinking i'd give this new strict boarding school director the name of the headmaster in the book (grünkern), but grünkern just isnt that kind of person. he's someone the students laugh about. which is more like frau kreuzkamm is in the movie

so i figured i'd call the boarding school director professor kreuzkamm and have frau doktor kreuzkamm be called frau doktor grünkern instead

(and take some more inspirations from book grünkern as well, with how the students treat him)

ruda would be called ruda grünkern then too. she doesnt really need to be kreuzkamm anyway

… i guess kreuzkamm would just be one of the internals then. or i suppose the externs would work too, if kreuzkamm is just a background character. i havent thought about if i would change who gets kidnapped

about that.

im still struggling with figuring out how i wanna do the conflict. i was thinking maybe i should throw the whole conflict out cause i find it entirely annoying. but it is a really big part of dfk 2023 wether i like it or not, and it's really hard to change it when i dislike fundamental parts of the way it is written.

first, i had the idea to make it about a conflict between the rich kids from the city up in the boarding school and the less wealthy kids from town, but im not equipped to write about classism and i dont want to be an asshole on accident

maybe instead, it’s a rivalry between the students from the school in town and those in the boarding school. yes, that sounds like it’s exactly the same, but i would make the boarding school be an actual school on top of the hill, not just a place where the students sleep.

i'm definitely keeping the part about it being two separate schools though. it would be a bit more close to the book in that way. (i would also give the other school the name from the the book, but i couldnt find it. it might not have had one?? would appreciate some help here if you know a name)

and ig the easiest way to explain the animosity is also like in the book. that its a thing between the schools which predates any of the students involved. they just carry it out.

but would they make up in the end then?? im still not sure. it's so hard to find some kind of middle ground between the way it is in the book and in dfk 2023 !!!

(which is because they have a fundamentally different understanding of how this conflict ends!!!!!!!! in dfk 2023, its a thing of overcoming differences and making peace, while in the book that was never the goal to begin with!!! they start and end as enemies!!!!! carolina!!!! carolina, you dont get it at all!!!!!!!!)

to tie it back in with the 2023 movie, you could make it so that the two schools are still doing some kind of "friendship project" to bury the hatchet. although that probably wouldnt come from the schools themselves if theyre so hostile towards each other...

(MAYBE. its a thing that frau kreuzkamm, or rather, frau grünkern started. but none of this is thought out rn, i’m getting away from my goal with this post)

like i said, i would make it two separate schools. town school vs boarding school prehistoric feud boarding school director kreuzkamm; i kind of see him as an old man with balding white hair and a big moustache. wears black suits. never laughs. closer to book kreuzkamm, but less sympathetic. he's supposed to fill the role of the antagonist within the boarding school. instead of justus (who's supposed to be a safe place for the students) threatening to close the boarding school, it's direktor kreuzkamm. frau professor grünkern, headmaster of the town school. (she needs a first name. (i made a note here to consult the dfk girlies (gn) so please drop your suggestions? how do you feel about friederieke)) mother of ruda, still. wears colourful shirts, is basically like in the movie. although i still stand by what i said earlier about making her less of a comic relief

OH!! i completely forgot to tell you about that. i had a thought when i made part ... i think it was part 27. where i wrote in the tags #now that i think about it #WHY is frau kreuzkamm not sitting with her family?? #girl you have a husband and kids stop making eyes at your colleague whos gay anyway and my thought was a big WHAT IF. what if frau kreuzkamm cheated on her husband ties together ruda’s disappointment in her, frau kreuzkamm making eyes at justus und justus perhaps trying it with women to get over/ignore robert that might be a bit too much if we’re talking about a realistic rewrite, but let me engage the thought for a moment back to what i was saying

if i want to go with the cheating-storyline; justus has caught her eye. EVEN THOUGH she has a stay-at-home-husband. the second child doesn’t seem to have saved the marriage i am still unsure about her role in the conflict between the schools. cause in the movie she's both „everyone be friends 🥰 we don't need to continue these disputes!“ and "your INMATES are HURTING my SWEET CHILDREN you need to CLOSE THE BOARDING SCHOOL" and i still don't know how to deal with that. but now i had the thought that maybe she's the one who wants the opposing schools to make up Still thinking about that

i have a lot more notes, especially about matz, and i haven't even touched on my thoughts about the justus-robert-marie situation. but i will put that in a reblog or something. this is getting too long.

#das fliegende klassenzimmer #dfk #das fliegende klassenzimmer 2023 #mine #sorry if this is still very chaotic 😔 i tried #uhh #i feel a bit weird about trying to format my stream-of-consciousness notes into something more concise cause a lot of it changed inbetween #but yeah lmk your thoughts #i’ll add the other stuff later like i said

[empress-of-snark]

only murders “ah, love!” thoughts (spoilers)

okay, so I think the whole thing about Loretta being obsessed with Ben Glenroy is just a red herring—it’s still too early in the game for a plot twist like that to determine the killer, so it’s probably more like she’s inspired by him or had a crush on him but was embarrassed about it because he’s younger than her

I’m still pretty ambivalent about Tobert, and I wasn’t really feeling any sparks between him and Mabel. The kiss felt especially lacking when played against Martin Short and Meryl Streep’s great chemistry

also I love love love Loretta’s apartment—that little reading nook is what dreams are made of!!

yay Sazz! Love her, love her weird friendship with Charles and her determination to help unpack his many issues, and the fact that she’s still seeing Jan in prison is hilarious 😂

so now we know that Charles is the one who punched Ben, and I’m guessing that his threatening “Stay away from her” was probably about Loretta, seeing as he broke up the fight between them earlier in the night

I’m pretty relieved to see Joy go (that is, if she’s gone for good). I liked her well enough, but she and Charles don’t seem like a very good match. If they worked on their communication issues maybe, but I feel like he needs someone who won’t stress him out so much lol. Someone a bit more mellow, y’know?

I wanna see the Arconia residents more often. This season feels kind of removed from the regular atmosphere of the building, with so many new characters who aren’t tenants there. It’s not bad, but the Arconia is the home of the show, it’s right there in the title. I know they have to expand a bit, though, since it can’t be the same handful of suspects each season.

speaking of which, I’m eager to see Detective Williams again, whenever she finally shows up! I definitely remember her in the trailer.

also Theo, obviously. Somebody said he’s mentioned in a few reviews, but I guess I haven’t found the right ones yet, cause I haven’t read anything about him showing up this season. I hope he does, though! I miss my snarky deaf boy!

#that was longer than I thought it would be but I guess I have a lot of thoughts #only murders in the building #only murders spoilers

[buckybarnesss]

Heather~~~

What is your opinion on Lydia's mom?

Especially in s4 and s5

I feel like there's a lot to think about when you think about how Lydia got the banshee gene from her Dad's mom - and Lydia's parents are divorced since s2? Maybe?

Feels like a lot of strange emotional issues there for sure!

all the parents in teen wolf kind of suck tbh. it's something we should acknowledge more i think. teen wolf deals so much with growing up and part of that is realizing that your parents are humans which makes them flawed and fallible.

natalie martin unfortunately didn't get much characterization until later in the series which makes her hilariously sort of neglectful and checked out in the early days of the show. like girlie pop let stiles into her daughter's bedroom while lydia was in a negligee and drugged up.

but susan walters is delightful and an icon so she became a more and more frequent guest start but lbr she's also married to linden ashby which is part of the equation there.

it's always been an interesting choice to me that they never recast lydia's father. he was present when she was in the hospital in season 2 and than he disappears but yet lydia's banshee powers come from his side of the family.

that alone puts his comments about lydia's behavior in the tell in a different perspective. still shitty but interesting with hindsight.

ms. ramsey: let me tell you, there's plenty to say about lydia. mr martin: did I not predict this? natalie: here we go! total nuclear meltdown, as usual. mr martin: what is it? her grades? concentration issues? erratic behavior? natamlie martin: i'm not the one who told her she had to choose who she wants to live with! as if that wouldn't warp a sixteen-year-old girl. mr. martin: just tell us what the problem is.

i also find the comment elias stilinski made during his lucid moment in sundowning about natalie to be, well, mean but also accurate about her and also about lydia.

elias stilinski: you're natalie martin's daughter. am i right? you look like her. she was pretty once too. she also liked to talk like she was the smartest person in her room.

it's their worst traits. lydia in season 1 is all about this. in the beginning lydia is vain and condescending. natalie can be as well as it's of course where lydia learned it from.

natalie martin is someone who is characterized by her fears in a lot of ways which makes her so very frustrating. especially in the later seasons and her fear pertaining to lydia comes directly from what happened to lorraine.

she's both afraid for lydia and afraid of lydia's abilities. natalie does love her daughter and we see her attempt to support her frequently but it often falls just short of what lydia actually needs. natalie's fear prevents her from fully understanding lydia.

she never quite overcomes this either even though by the end of the show she knows the big secret. she's aware of the supernatural but she refuses to acknowledge it properly even with her own daughter.

forgive this reference, but it's kind of dursley-ish. she wants everything to be very normal thank you very much. she fears how other perceive her and her daughter.

i do give her a few points for not running from beacon hills though. she does try to help the kids out in school. it's not always with the greatest understanding but she did cover up the beast incident and tried to get scott, liam and malia to the end of their high school careers.

so i find natalie martin a frustrating character but i think she contrasts really nicely with the other parents like melissa mccall, the sheriff and the argents.

i also find it hilarious that peter kept trying to date her and melissa to fuck with lydia and scott. it's fucked up and manipulative as scott and lydia are his two favorite chew toys that aren't derek but like it's also really funny.

#my blog #thoughts on teen wolf #teen wolf #natalie martin

[hed-romancer]

epithet erased: prison of plastic thoughts (spoilers)

finished the book! and before i go look at what everyone else thought, here's what i thought. negatives first, then positives.

NEGATIVES

brendan blaber really is a visual storyteller and you can tell reading this. if i read this again i'm making a drinking game out of every time he says someone was acting "like" someone else. 2 shots if it's doing something like a little kid

"also, there's just spontaneous dramatic exposition in places there really shouldn't be. someone should explain "show don't tell" to this guy because he'd randomly cut to paragraphs of a character's serious backstory with how exactly they reacted and felt and why, and it could get pretty awkward and borderline insulting.

I definitely liked Rick Shades more towards the end, but why was his whole character gimmick that he seems like a really creepy guy preying on tween girls, but actually he isn't? Like. I'm glad he does have good intentions, but having to sit through chapters of not knowing that was kinda rough and anxiety-inducing.

Also, the whole "isolated community with its own race of people barely represented in the mainstream society is really barbaric and people need to escape it and join mainstream society" rings some warning bells for me.

Also, while I liked Rick Shades more towards the end, I really do think it was a wasted opportunity having him along on the adventure instead of Sylvie (or Percy). It would've been interesting to examine Molly and Sylvie's parallel but different adult mentalities and actions, while not having to dive into the extremely fantastically-horrible situation Rick had going on.

POSITIVES

not that the rest of this book sucked, cause it was pretty good, but the rest of this book could've completely sucked and i still would've loved it for giovanni "kidnapping" molly at the end

i really liked lorelai's characterization. while her being boy crazy was mentioned a bit too often for me, her latching onto giovanni as someone who actually appreciates her creations was cute, and i like how her whole concept is of someone just completely unwilling to face reality and resenting anyone who tried to make her. this might've been annoying had it been an adult character, but since she was 14-15 when her mom died, this makes total sense and i dig it. the realization that she didn't know if she killed her mom and was going to such lengths to avoid considering it was genius

Molly was also done really well. I liked how she was very understandable but not perfect either. She doesn't appreciate her sister's creations or understand what her sister is trying to do at all, but she's got bigger stuff on her plate and you can't help but feel for her the whole time. (again tho, way too much exposition on how she thinks everything is her job. did not have to spell that out so many times for the readers)

giovanni being completely clueless almost the entire time was hilarious

trixie and feenie were pretty cute

martin blyndeff is written wonderfully. he's a horrible guy but he's genial enough that he can trick himself into thinking he's the good guy. good foil to lorelai

the worldbuilding was great

i loved how it was a magical story that focused on how these two girls cope with a horrible situation. i love that blend of magical and non-magical problems

#epithet erased #epithet erased spoilers #molly blyndeff #giovanni potage #lorelai blyndeff #prison of plastic #martin blyndeff #rick shades

[txemrn]

Déjà Vu

Chapter 2

New? Check out the first chapter HERE! (Go ahead; you're not late. Sure, we can wait.)

Series Summary: After an unforgettable night with a stranger, Princess Eleanor finds herself caught in a secret love triangle between a noble and a commoner.

Chapter Summary: Drake attends dinner at the palace, and even though some things will never change, he discovers quickly everyone has moved on without him.

Pairing(s): Liam x Riley; Bertrand x Savannah; Maxwell x m!OC; Olivia x Amalas

Word Count: ~4885

Warning: 🔞 Mature Audiences Only 🔞 language (like, a lot); references to infidelity, pregnancy; teasing/bullying

A/N: Welcome to my Crack Fic! If you are new, hi! Thank you for joining us! This story takes place approximately 2 decades after TRR/TRH. I have made some canonical changes (they will be mentioned). Characters and some plots belong to our friends at Pixelberry! This was not Beta'd; please excuse my errors.

~🖤~

Drake

The gentle purr of the engine beneath my grip of the steering wheel shoots pleasurable waves of pure octane ecstasy. My nerves ignite with palpable electricity, coursing through my every cell. The cream leather interior is like butter against my skin, and the scent of luxury leaves me completely intoxicated.

Lucky little shit.  

I still can't believe my nephew–my fucking nephew–owns this beauty. How many twenty-four-year-olds own an Aston Martin Vantage convertible? I wish I could give him more shit about it, coming from such privilege as being the oldest son of a duke, but Bartie has more than earned it. 

He may not have exactly been planned, but he was the answer, and essentially the savior, of Ramsford. Back when I lived in this God-forsaken country, some twenty-odd years ago, Ramsford was in financial ruin. My brother-in-law, Bertrand, Bartie's father, scraped, scrapped and pinched every monetary morsel to keep them afloat for years.

Then along came Bartie: finished the top of his class at some preppy private institute at Stormholt with a degree in finance, and in just three fucking years of working with his dad… well, that little shit has an Aston. 

I'm actually very proud of him. Surely he knows that. We weren't much for talking over the years, but I'd send cards telling him I loved him, and I'd ask about him during video calls with my sister.

Judging that I am sitting in his custom-painted cherry-red luxury car right now? Yeah, Bartie knows I care the world about him. The fact that he's going to allow me to drive it? Fuck, I don't think I even trust myself, especially on these European roadways. Sure, I learned how to drive in Cordonia, but that was over two decades ago. And it wasn't a stickshift.

Can't be that hard, right?

I study the mechanism of the gear shift, comparing it to a quick Google search on my phone as I wait for my nephew to return to the car with a necktie–my suggestion.  Afterall, we're heading to dinner with the royal family… A.K.A. my childhood best friend, his daughter. And his wife.

The love of my life.

Eh, don't feel sorry for me. I'm over it. Seriously. And besides, technically, Liam had first dibs on her; but then again, he had first dibs on several other women at the exact same time, social season and all for his highness, the fucking crown prince of Cordonia. Whoop-de-do.

He's the one that asked me to look after his hot American suitor during his own personal season of The Bachelor. Are you really surprised I fell for the chick? The guy was never around. And Riley and me? She... she was fun, smart. She was fucking hilarious, gave those noble bitches a real run for their money. And yet, she was still kind and caring. She was easy to talk to; I found myself opening up to her in ways that… well, no one else could. 

Riley Brooks. I guess you could say she's the reason I never settled down with anyone. No one–and I mean no one–ever measured up. 

Oh well. That was a long time ago. And she made her decision. Him. And even though he was like the brother I never had, I… I couldn't. I just couldn't sit back and watch them play house and build a life together. Well, for Liam, it was real. 

I had fallen for her. But so had Liam. I knew that if I stayed–if I had stayed, the secret of Riley and me wouldn't end. Shit, if it didn’t end after they said, "I do," when would it?

Time heals all wounds, right?

Bartie opens the door, and slides into the passenger seat with two neckties in hand, both black as he holds them up to his crisp white oxford. "What do you think?"

"Think about what? The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost? You look like a fucking mormon," I jest as I point to the one with a subtle matte paisley design. "Why are you fussing about this anyway?"

"Just cause," he passively offers as he stares in the visor mirror, knotting his tie. "I'm speaking with King Liam privately after dinner, and… well, I just want to look alright."

Sensing his raw nerves, I pause for a moment, watching him fidget anxiously with the garment. Jesus, when did my baby nephew become a fucking man?  I smile, placing my calloused fingers on his shoulder. "You do, kid." I fasten my seat belt as I turn my attention to the dash. "So, how do I put this thing into drive?"

------

It’s surreal walking into the palace after so many years away. White marble floors. Crimson curtains with gold accents.  Childhood memories flood my mind of our sword battles on the grand staircase, pretending to be blood-thirsty pirates. Or when we would gallop through the secret labyrinth of corridors deep within the estate, charging on our make-believe stallions like mighty Spanish conquistadors. 

We would always sneak to the kitchen between meals to taste the desserts being made for dinner–unless Ms. Marta was working. That fucking old hag. Most of my ass whoopings were from her tattling on us. 

Liam was a fucking weirdo on our kitchen raids.  We would slip through the window of the bakehouse, and when we would confirm that the coast was clear, he would always head straight for the pantry to a bag of pistachios. We're talking about a place that had every sweet, every chocolate, every cookie imaginable, readily available in sealed containers. And he chose nuts. 

I always had my eyes on a nightly staple in the palace: warm apple pie. They were made daily, and I could always find at least one cooling on the window sill. 

Fuck, now I'm salivating over a fucking pie.  

To this day, I humbly have to admit that Cordonia apple pies are the best–don't let the taste of a raw ruby fool you. Something about the bitter compounds reaching a certain temperature causes… something-something to do something… ah, hell. Tell you what. If you're that curious, ask Liam. I mean, I'm assuming he's still a nerd–

"Drake!" 

I startle at the greeting, instantly recognizing the tall, broad-shouldered blond striding closer to me, wearing… an apron? The fuck? The apron has the phrase, 'I love you a bushel and a peck'.

Oh, yeah. He's still a fucking dweeb. 

His outstretched hand takes mine as he shakes it before pulling me into an embrace. "It's so good to see you, old friend," he pats my back before standing back to take me in.

He looks so different, but undoubtedly, he still looks like Liam Rys. Stray pieces of silver litter his perfectly styled, perfectly placed waves. His strong jawline and high cheekbones were cut more razor-sharp by his more mature, thinned face. His strong chest and the swell of his biceps made him look like a fucking Greek god. Lucky bastard. It's like turning forty didn't wreak havoc on his appearance or metabolism, save for a few fine lines around his eyes and smile.

"Bartie," Liam smiles endearingly, "always a pleasure." He extends his arm to my nephew before the scared kid had a chance to bow. I could see the flood of panic in Bartie’s eyes, but I gave him a reassuring nod as he hesitantly took his majesty's hand.

Don't worry, kid. I won't tell your daddy about your ‘poor manners’.

"Please," Liam rests his hand on my shoulder while turning to guide us to the queen's hall, the largest dining area in the palace for private parties. The room boasted an impressive, custom eight-meter-long table that could easily fit twenty-five guests comfortably. "Come, come. Everyone is just being seated." We follow him down the east corridor when suddenly, the savory aroma of roast and… something garlicky teases my senses. Liam obviously caught the delicious waft too, turning back with a devious grin. "I hope you brought some hearty appetites. Riley and I have something special for you tonight."

Riley. Why does the mere mention of her name make me–shit. Get it together, Walker. You're over it.

As expected, my closest friends during my time in Cordonia are all present along with their families. Well, 'friends' might be too strong of a word to use on this crowd. They were nobles and friends of Liam. I was friends with Liam. Ergo, we were friends. Sorta. 

My sister Savannah and her husband Bertrand were sitting at the end towards my right, speaking in hushed tones to one another. They came separately from Bartie and myself from their estate since, well, there wasn't enough room for them and the triplets. Yes. You read right. Triplets. As in three babies at once. They had tried for years to have more children with sadly no avail, and it took a terrible toll on their marriage. I still remember Sav's tearful call five years ago, revealing to me that they were separating. I was preparing to hop on a plane to execute my brother-in-law's accidental demise for breaking my little sister's heart when I got a second call a few weeks later. They were pregnant. I got a call a week after that. I had three nieces on the way.  Sydnie, Stella and Simone: the cutest little shits you've ever seen… and not just because they have their uncle's dashing good looks. 

I'm talking about me, their uncle. Not their other uncle.

Maxwell Beaumont–said other uncle– was sitting next to his brother Bertrand. He officially married Baron Friedrich von Lehndorff twelve years ago when Cordonia overturned their marriage clause of traditional unions. One hundred forty-eight same-gender couples came forward that day to be legally married; Max and Rich led the way to the Capitol. They became a beacon of light and love, not just for Cordonia, but to the world. I remember reading about their march for equality and their victory in my local paper. Maxwell and I weren't necessarily best friends, but a sense of pride bloomed in my chest, seeing him do something so incredible and bold with his life.  

He and Rich have a 9-year-old daughter Gia and 4-year-old son Ollie, both adopted from South Korea. Don't tell them I told you, but I follow their TikTok. Those two are fucking adorable.

Across from the Beaumont-von Lehndorffs is the Scarlet Duchess herself. Olivia Nevrakis. And… I almost can't believe the sight myself–

"Hey, Walker!" She waves, a smile growing on her face.

What. The. Fuck. Was she… happy to see me?

She stands up and makes her way around the table of guests to greet me. 

With a hug.

Shock number two: she’s touching me in a friendly manner. But that's when I was hit with shock number three.

Is she? No, no… she can't be. Is that a–?

She must've seen the curiosity etching across my face as I stared down at a rounded abdomen that just pressed up against me during our embrace. She instinctively cradles her belly and giggles.

Giggles. 

Was I in the Twilight Zone?

She married Amalas a few years after I moved away. I wasn't surprised; the few times Livvy and I hooked up felt odd, like something was missing. I mean, not that I didn't satisfy her. That was never a problem for me with women. Turns out, ol' red was looking for a queen. 

Together they serve as queen and queen consort of Monterisso, and apparently are known for creating quite a riot at international events. I'm not surprised. They have four children: Macaela–Amalas’s daughter with her late husband–Josefine, Joaquin, and Joseph.  And then baby Timothy will be joining them soon. Because that name makes sense.

I'm starting to feel a little self-conscious. It's been over twenty years, and everyone seems to have grown up. Had families. Changed the world. And what did I have to show? Nothing. I mean, I did have quite a successful construction company that I developed with almost seventy employees under my leadership, but… well, that went under thanks to my business partner fucking me over. Fucking twat-waffle. 

But is this really what my life comes down to? Is this how you would sum up my life? Compared to childhood friends, I was still nothing. And here I was again on the coattails of Liam.

An abrupt delicate tink to a wine glass echoes over the various conversations and children squealing, silencing everyone as we turn our attention to the head of the table. 

And there she was. Just as breathtaking as the last day that I saw her.

"Drake," she gasps as I pull her into the dark shadows behind the barn. "We can't. Not anymore." 

I shake my head, her eyes refusing to meet mine. I took a step towards her, but she instinctively shifts, her back pressing against the wall.

"Brooks–"

"Rys," she interjects, the correction like a serrated blade piercing my skin. A sob escapes her as rivers course down the planes of her velvet skin.

Placing my arm against the splintered wood next to her head, I lean closer to her, capturing her intoxicating scent. My hand slips up her neck, my fingers tenderly lifting her chin to look at me, to captivate me with those ocean eyes.

My thumb caresses her rosy lips, feeling her breath hitch. I flutter my mouth across her wet cheeks, my feather touch kissing away her tears.

But we suddenly freeze.

"Riley?"

Liam's smooth voice carries over the moonlit pasture, drowning out our abilities to hear the bustle of the reception.

"Riley…Don't–"

But it's too late. Before I could stop her, she was gone.

I blink. Casually shifting in my seat, I glance nonchalantly around me. Whew, everyone is still staring at the head of the table. No one seems to notice that I got lost in my thoughts for a moment.  I nervously scratch through my stubble before grabbing the water glass in front of me. I take a longass sip of water, but when I pull the glass from my mouth, two crystal-blue orbs with long, flirty lashes are locked on me.

Fuck, I choke on the water on my attempt to swallow it down. I start coughing violently as Maxwell starts patting my back.

"You okay there, Drakey?"

I finally take a gulp of air, and glare at him. "Yes… and it's Drake, Maxi pad." Okay. I admit it. It was childish to retaliate by calling him the name me and some of the other guys called Maxwell growing up. But to my surprise, he laughs before finger-gunning me.

"Good one, Drake. I haven't heard that in years."

I turn back to our royal hosts just in time for Liam to give me a friendly nod, as if to ensure that I'm okay without creating more of a scene. But when I glance over at Riley, she quickly averts her eyes, slipping her hand into Liam's. 

Jesus Christ. If that was a sign of how things were going to be, her cowering and treating me like I'm some kind of criminal for something she did willingly… something she pursued… fuck that. Send me back to Texas.

"We brought wine!" Rich singsongs, pulling out two large bottles from a nearby refrigerated wine rack. "Who'd like–?"

I refused to let the poor bastard finish.

"Me."

------

I can't remember a single time in my life where I have been so positively and exuberantly grateful for Maxwell fucking Beaumont. He fended off the anticipated awkwardness and helped the dinner conversation progress, making the casual assist to include me in this special meal that was supposedly in my honor. 

I'm not saying the others were rude to me, Liam especially. He was treating me like a long lost brother, like the prodigal son that has finally returned home. And I'm not going to lie: it felt good to be reunited with him.

But Riley couldn't even look me in the eye, and judging by the flashes of guilt and her over-eagerness to leave the room every chance she got, I know she never told her husband the truth about our relationship.  He had his suspicions. And I owned up to falling for her, thus the ending of our friendship and me moving to Texas. I mean, I thought it was the end…

But, I didn't just fall for her; it wasn't pining for her from afar, hoping she would give me the time of day.

We were in love.

"This was absolutely divine," Savannah sings praises, taking a sip of her tea. Everyone begins chiming in with their sentiments, thanking the royal couple for the delicious meal. Yes, they prepared it. I know; I was impressed myself.

Individual conversations continue through dessert and coffee when suddenly, the ring of a phone interrupts us into silence.

"Excuse me," Amalas whispers with the phone against her ear, "I need to take this. It's Josie."

Liam and Riley flash looks of concern at one another. "I hope everything is okay," Riley says softly as she twirls her necklace between her fingers, turning to her husband with a more hushed tone. "Did Ellie text you?"

Liam is already looking at his phone, but he's casually shaking his head, appearing more relaxed than his wife. His gaze catches my curious look as I try to put the pieces together of what's going on this evening.

"Josie–err, Josefine–is out with our Eleanor and Madeleine's daughter Bethany this evening." 

Ah, that's right… Josefine must go by Josie, Amalas’s second daughter, her first daughter with Olivia. Shit, I can’t keep these spawn straight….

"Crisis averted!" Amalas sweeps back into the room, placing her cell into her pocket. "The girls said the restaurant was too crowded, so they're going over to the Vancoeur's for a–" she imitates an American valley girl, "girls' night."

"Vancoeur?" I mutter, turning to Maxwell. "Did he… reproduce, too?" The idea sounded ridiculous. What woman lowered her standards that low to sleep with that bastard?

"Yep," Maxwell responds, "he has a beautiful daughter." He takes an obnoxious sip of his espresso. "You know, Bethany, the girl that's out with Eleanor and Josie."

No. Fucking. Way.

"I thought Beth was Madeleine's kid?"

"It is." Maxwell chuckles as mischief glows in his eyes. "Oh Drakey, you missed it. Maddie and Neville were actually married for about ten years." Pulling a napkin up to his mouth, he lowers his voice. "Rumor has it she was about to lose what was left of her inheritance, slept with that weasel, then faked a pregnancy to get him to propose." He snickers. "I wish I could've been a fly on the wall when her fake pregnancy turned out to be a real pregnancy."

"What the–?"

"Mhrmm," Maxwell bounces his eyebrows, "she claims she had no idea." He stares at me intently before rolling his eyes and gesturing with his hand a dramatically large curve over his stomach. “Agnes, my seamstress–can you believe she’s still working for us? Well, anyway, that woman can work absolute miracles…” He takes another sip of his drink.  He quiets his voice while he averts his eyes, slowly crossing his legs. “There was no hiding that bump.”

I shake my head in disbelief, chuckling under my breath when suddenly, I feel a large hand on my shoulder. I whip around quickly, pulling my body away, when I see–

"Shit, Li–"

"I didn't mean to interrupt," he offers a friendly smile.

I blow away the air I had quickly sucked in, willing my heartbeat to slow down. I guess I'm still a little on edge being here, but fuck, that scared me.

"I thought before you left tonight, we could discuss, um… arrangements. For you."

"Yeah… yeah, of course." Following his lead, we start to make our way to the exit for privacy.

When Liam invited me to Cordonia, he was very specific that he wanted to help me get back on my feet. And I believe him. I know his generosity is genuine; he doesn't have any ulterior motives or some secret vendetta against me from the past. At least I hope he doesn't. But this isn't a vacation for me; part of the deal was I needed to work. I'm not sure if that meant finding temp jobs or something more long-term. 

“Do I smell imported cheap whiskey?”

I stop short of the door.

Fuck me. Leo Rys. Liam’s older brother and notorious international womanizer. The man just turned fifty last year, and it’s like he unlocked a new group of admirers, especially now that he’s sportin’ a little silver around the edges these days. 

He and Liam are complete polar opposites. Apples and oranges. Night and day. If Liam was thoughtful and selfless… well, you get the gist. And clearly by his entrance, I’m discovering that some things never change.

As if his deep bellow wasn’t warning enough, his black leather boots announce his presence as he struts across the polished tile, his arm hooked around his helmet. He slaps his free hand on my shoulder, squeezing it firmly as he obnoxiously sniffs me.

"Cheap whiskey… and… is that a hint of beef jerky and cow patties I'm detecting?"

"Good to see you, too." Jackass. I slap his chest before pushing him off of me. I may have used a little more force than I should've. My bad. 

"Am I late for dinner?" He slaps Liam on the back before walking towards the kitchen.

Liam sighs. "Just… a little–"

"Ahh, don't worry," he stops to kiss Riley on the cheek. "I'll serve myself."

As Leo disappears, Liam and I give each other a knowing look before leaving the room as well.

------

"Trust me, you're going to love what Riley has done with the guest quarters."

Liam and I had a good talk. A really good talk. We didn't have to say it, but it was clear: we missed each other. We missed our camaraderie, the confidence we had in one another. He was the first person I called when Dad died; I was the first person he called when Leo abdicated. We grew up and became men together.

But then Riley Brooks happened… but, I'm guessing you know that by now.

Liam has already a number of jobs for me to sift through, several carefully picked out that would play to my strengths with architecture and construction. But since these jobs were either on the grounds or here locally in the Capitol, he insisted I move into one of the private guest quarters with its own private entrance and balcony.

'You don't need to be making that drive from Ramsford everyday.' He's right. It's quite the journey, not to mention I don't exactly have a vehicle of my own here. So, I'm back in the palace. Ain't life a bitch?

"Now I hope you don't mind all-electric. The gas lines and how they were designed don’t–"

"Beggars can't be choosers, love."

Her words are like ice, the sharp chill making even her husband shudder. 

"Riley–"

"What?" She giggles under her breath. "I was joking." She turns a venomous stare towards me. "Drake knows I'm kidding. Don't you, Drake?"

I clear my throat. "Yeah," I play along, "good one."

"Love?" She slips her hand around Liam's arm, lowering her voice into a whisper. "Bartie Beaumont has requested to speak with you privately."

"Oh!" Liam brightens. "Sure. Of course." He gives me a pleasant nod. "Excuse me, Drake. And, please. Feel free to look around."  He begins to make his way towards the dining area, Riley following in step behind with no acknowledgement to me.

I breathe a sigh of relief. I needed a moment to myself anyway.

"Actually," Liam turns on his heel, waving a finger in the air. "On second thought, Love?" He smiles lovingly towards Riley, placing his hands affectionately on her shoulders. "How about you go show Drake the renovations you made?"

Shit.

------

Riley barely spoke two words to me besides pointing to the obvious fixtures and control buttons in the guest suite.

Light... Refrigerator… Bathroom… 

"This, uh, looks really nice," I try to converse, combing my fingers through my hair. "I never thought I'd see the day this room would have a–"

"We don't have to do this." She walks out of the room and into another part of the suite.

Why was she being such a frigid bitch? 

Fuck, I need a smoke.

I take a deep breath, shoving my hands in my pockets as I stroll back out into the hallway of the apartment.

"Is there anything else you needed to see?" She swallows thickly. She tries to remain stoic with a stiff bottom lip. Her jaw ticks… but her glare betrays her as something else brews that I … can’t quite discern.

But then, without warning, Riley's eyes roam down my body, catching on the crotch of my khakis before returning to my face.

Eyes up here, your majesty.

She clears her throat, pretending I didn't just catch her checking me out. "Um, anything else you wanted to see… of the suite, that is? Because, uh, we should probably –" she shuffles backwards, pointing aimlessly behind her, towards the door.

"You go on ahead," I tell her. "I'm gonna check out the balcony if you don't mind."

A heated swirl of rouge ignites on Riley’s cheeks. She nods, turning on her heel quickly without saying a word, and exits the apartment in record time. 

Thank God. I don't know what just happened, but… this is a very interesting turn of events. Does she still have feelings for me?

No. Stop.

Shit. Maybe moving in is a mistake.

I make my way outside, and damn. The view from this balcony is stunning. It actually overlooks the Cordonia countryside, which means less lights from the city and plenty of stars to be seen at night. It's... actually a nice reminder of home.

Taking a seat on the balustrade, I pull out a cigarette and nestle it between my teeth as I search for my lighter. I pat my pockets, both in the back and front of my pants before checking my shirt.

Shit. Can the universe just pass me a fucking bone?

I slump over, resting my elbows on my knees. Holding my hands in front of me, I begin to pick at my calluses as the events of the evening replay like a movie reel in my head.

But suddenly, there's a snick, then a spark; then a single flame is held in front of me. Fishing my cigarette out from behind my ear, I fix it between my lips and lean into the fire. I pull heavily, deeply until the familiar burn touches my anxious nerves, and I blow away my initial puff.

"You know smoking can kill you."

I raise an eyebrow at the deep voice, taking another inhale before blowing it in Leo's face.

"Malaka."

I chuckle at his insult, watching that smug grin pull out his own cigarette to light. He leans against the side of the balcony before hoisting himself up onto the balustrade.

"So," he licks his lips, looking at me inquisitively. "How does it feel to be back in lovely Cordonia?"

I look at him, scrunching my face. Really? That's the best you can do? I look back down, flicking some ash on the ground.

"How does it feel–" he blows smoke over his shoulder, "--being back close to Riley?"

My head shot up.

"Ohhh," he snickers, "that got Walker's attention really fast."

How the fuck does Leo know? How the fuck does Leo know anything? I can feel my heart begin to pound, my eyebrows furrowing in anger.

"Now hold up, Walker," he holds up his hands in defense. "I come in peace. I don't care that you fucked my sister-in-law once upon a time… okay, fine. Maybe just a little–"

"What do you want, Leo?"  I interrupt, irritation baited in my voice.

He looks down fidgeting with his fingers.  When he turns back to me, he has an indiscernible expression on his face, as if a wave of vulnerability is crashing over him.

"I know it can be… challenging, you know? Moving back to Cordonia after a hiatus, and I figured tonight was probably a lot for you."

And now Leo is trying to have a heart-to-heart with me… What the fuck happened to these people while I was gone?

"I thought maybe… you could use a friend."

"Well," I stand up, taking a step away. "Thanks. I appreciate it–"

"I mean it," he holds a hand to his chest. "Say–" he jumps to his feet, sandwiching himself between me and the door. "What are you doing tonight?"

Besides leading the exciting life of letting my nephew drive me back to his parent's house, eating a bag of Doritos in my boxers and getting shit-faced?

"There's a new club opening in town tonight. Tons of people. Who's who. VIP–" 

"Thanks, but–"  I try to shove past him, but he stops me, putting his hands against my chest.

"Six full bars, and–" he wiggles his eyebrows. "Lots… and lots… of fresh Cordonian-grade pussy. How do you like them apples?"

Like I said, some things never change.

"C’mon, Walker… you in?"

~🖤~

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[janiedean]

I read your metas on why you think GRRM always meant for Bran to be KITN, not King of the 7K as per what he told Benioff and Weiss during their decades-long intimate working relationship on the show adaptation and I have to say I disagree lol. I don't really understand how someone can think that Benioff and Weiss were told 'yeah Jon sits the throne and the irrelevant 8 year old fourth son of the Stark family becomes KITN' and D and D were like, 'ummm no we're going to blow our legacy by putting BRAN of all characters on the IT, and not giving our fan favorite character his shining moment on the IT.' I don't like Bran as King and neither did D and D, but they had to maintain that GOT was some semblance of an adaptation so they had to use Martin's endgames. It blows my mind that people still deny this. I do think the north being independent and Sansa being QITN was fanservice tho. She will likely be Lady of Winterfell, not queen. Anyone that thinks she ends her story in the Vale is deeply unserious.

Jon's a chosen one deconstruction because once he finds out about his parentage, it's not going to be a good thing that gives him a renewed sense of self like in the thousands of other chosen one fantasy arcs. It will be a devastating revelation for him and cause a very negative identity crisis. Also, his parentage was always meant to be a red herring, why do you think GRRM set it up in a way that there is literally no way for Jon to prove he's actually R and L's son? Much less prove he's a legitimate son born from a valid, legal marriage? I don't think anyone outside of Jon's very close inner circle will ever know the truth about who his real parents are, it's not something he will want to ever be made known lmao. The show conflating Jon with YG, not adapting YG, and basically being a Jon Snow is So Great Fanservice vehicle in the last few seasons has made the fandom think that's where his arc is leading, it's not. Not that GRRM will ever publish another book, but anyway.

Also, Jon is not AA, it is Dany. The thing is.....that's not a good thing lol. The AA prophecy is basically prophesizing the coming of Khal Stalin, not a savior lmao. That's the twist and the double edge sword with prophecies that is so very Martin. The constant debates among the fandom as to who is AA is so hilarious because they fundamentally don't understand that it's a negative prophecy. The dramatic irony of house targ thinking they need to bring about the AA prophecy to save humanity when in actuality they are unleashing a new evil that needs to be defeated is deeply delicious dramatic irony. But the fandom is too bogged down into the most basic fantasy tropes to see it and refuses to acknowledge that GRRM is cynically deconstructing these tropes. Almost as if he's trying to say that being the son of the crown prince actually sucks and will make the supposed 'chosen one's' life hell, the ethereal looking princess with the sympathetic backstory is actually an authoritarian tyrant who's bloody conquest for the iron throne using her hordes of brainwashed killing machines will cause destruction not restore some great dynasty, and the 'broken' disabled boy with special mind powers who is able to look into all of history to learn from the mistakes of all the monarchs that came before him is the 'best' ruler for a 'broken' realm.

I'm uuuuh, gonna try and reply to this as briefly as I can but like with the premise that everyone can agree or disagree with anything and text interpretation can't be set in stone until like the entire thing is over... in order

I don't really understand how someone can think that Benioff and Weiss were told 'yeah Jon sits the throne and the irrelevant 8 year old fourth son of the Stark family becomes KITN' and D and D were like, 'ummm no we're going to blow our legacy by putting BRAN of all characters on the IT, and not giving our fan favorite character his shining moment on the IT.'

anon I don't wanna sound rude but.... they lit set jon up to kill the night king and then made arya of all ppl do it NONSENSICALLY just to make ppl surprised, they literally shat all over the entire text since S2 if not S1 already, just the robb storyline shows they didn't understand anything about the point of the red wedding which they said they WANTED to adapt and they basically made shit up since s4 onwards without anything making literal sense including making c*rsei the ultimate boss when there is no shred of text evidence she's that important and grrm is pissed with the ending so like... I can 100% think that both of them didn't gaf about what grrm had to say and just understood what they wanted to, also because we're talking abt the ppl who made stannis go agamemnon on shireen because they hated his ass when if shireen dies like that no way it's stannis ordering it by any shred of textual sense so I absolutely will say dnd didn't gaf about what grrm said and threw their legacy in the trash, that because.... everyone thought the finale was trash and they haven't had a gig like that since bc no one wants them after got, with good reason, so like ppl can say that because there is nothing dnd have done as showrunners that shows they gaf about the og text, end of story

I don't like Bran as King and neither did D and D, but they had to maintain that GOT was some semblance of an adaptation so they had to use Martin's endgames. It blows my mind that people still deny this. I do think the north being independent and Sansa being QITN was fanservice tho. She will likely be Lady of Winterfell, not queen. Anyone that thinks she ends her story in the Vale is deeply unserious.

except the jc endgame is obviously not the book endgame, lit no one's endgame except imvho jon's (hahaha) and possibly tyrion/davos is the actual book endgame and I'd like everyone to remember there's no shred of textual evidence rickon doesn't die in the books but anyway like... sorry but dnd not wanting to put jon on the IT for shock value (which is obvious since everyone expected it) and not giving bran kitn to give it to sansa so ppl who wanted her to be queen would be happy makes absolute sense to me, also like... again I'm not gonna go over it again bc you said you read the meta but: bran is a deconstructed version of a kingly arthurian archetype which by himself means that he has to become king while being disabled/in virtue of having lost his legs so like sorry but bran being king is absolutely in the text but no way it makes sense it's 7k since he's directly tied to his land and its magic same as the fisher king so......

Jon's a chosen one deconstruction because once he finds out about his parentage, it's not going to be a good thing that gives him a renewed sense of self like in the thousands of other chosen one fantasy arcs. It will be a devastating revelation for him and cause a very negative identity crisis

I agree and I wrote a longass meta about jon being a chosen one deconstruction but being AA/his inheritance absolutely does not rule out it being a deconstruction imvho

Also, his parentage was always meant to be a red herring, why do you think GRRM set it up in a way that there is literally no way for Jon to prove he's actually R and L's son?

howland reed was there when he was born and lyanna could have told him and ned they were married, also bran can lit travel in time and prove it/see it happen, but even if he's not legitimate wrt rhaegar it doesn't matter because in the book he's legitimate wrt robb's will so he's gonna get kitn title at some point even just for that but like... point is if howland reed corroborates it and he gets a pet dragon or smth and no one has reasons to disagree esp because they'll need to kill zombies whether r/l were married doesn't matter at all

Much less prove he's a legitimate son born from a valid, legal marriage? I don't think anyone outside of Jon's very close inner circle will ever know the truth about who his real parents are, it's not something he will want to ever be made known lmao. The show conflating Jon with YG, not adapting YG, and basically being a Jon Snow is So Great Fanservice vehicle in the last few seasons has made the fandom think that's where his arc is leading, it's not. Not that GRRM will ever publish another book, but anyway.

we can't know about wrt grrm publishing something else or not but again: howland reed knows and he's still around and kicking and there is no reason for people to not make it known especially when it comes out and they have to treat with dany, also the show conflated young griff with both jon and cersei and jon connington with jorah and daenerys which makes no sense whatsoever so like that argument holds zero water bc they didn't know what they were doing and it shows

Also, Jon is not AA, it is Dany. The thing is.....that's not a good thing lol. The AA prophecy is basically prophesizing the coming of Khal Stalin, not a savior lmao. That's the twist and the double edge sword with prophecies that is so very Martin.

anon the second maester aemon said on page AA is daenerys out loud it went out of the window, the way asoiaf prophecies are structured everyone who's rumored to be X by other people/themselves before it actually happens won't be that, and jon only ever was deemed a candidate by a vision melisandre had... which she immediately discarded bc she didn't understand what the hell her own god was telling her so sorry but I don't agree and it's not gonna happen

The constant debates among the fandom as to who is AA is so hilarious because they fundamentally don't understand that it's a negative prophecy. The dramatic irony of house targ thinking they need to bring about the AA prophecy to save humanity when in actuality they are unleashing a new evil that needs to be defeated is deeply delicious dramatic irony. But the fandom is too bogged down into the most basic fantasy tropes to see it and refuses to acknowledge that GRRM is cynically deconstructing these tropes. Almost as if he's trying to say that being the son of the crown prince actually sucks and will make the supposed 'chosen one's' life hell, the ethereal looking princess with the sympathetic backstory is actually an authoritarian tyrant who's bloody conquest for the iron throne using her hordes of brainwashed killing machines will cause destruction not restore some great dynasty, and the 'broken' disabled boy with special mind powers who is able to look into all of history to learn from the mistakes of all the monarchs that came before him is the 'best' ruler for a 'broken' realm.

anon I don't even disagree with all of this but:

i do not think that in any way shape or form jon is not AA - there is no way he's not, he's lit the only one who actually came back to life in the show if we wanna show truth and there's no other character who lit resurrected and no one else will so there's that, he died according to the prophecy and no one in text would ever put a cent on AA being him, like.,........ what we know is not what they do and for westeros jon snow is the least likely candidate soooo like sorry but I don't think it makes sense that anyone else is AA, you can think it's dany but idt there's a chance in hell

I think the evil is already there and it's zombies, like... ik the show made it look like the long night was nothing but it's the actual ultimate big bad so there's no need for AA to be another evil, rhaegar would have misunderstood the og prophecy well enough as it is without getting that far

jon being the chosen one and AA would still make his life hell

idt dany is written in the book as an authoritarian tyrant and idt it's where she's headed and I'm saying it as someone who doesn't gaf about dany and doesn't care either way but the show version was just ridiculous and nothing in the text says she's headed there whatsoever

I also agree this fandom cannibalizing itself over who is AA is ridiculous... because it's jon and there's no reason to further argue over that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

bran can absolutely be the best ruler for a broken realm,..... the north, which has been mauled and will be further mauled by the zombies, and it makes no sense he is 7k anyway given his background and stuff, again you can disagree with it as you want but idt anything that happened in the show except an extremely selected amount of things which are absolutely out of context has a chance in hell of happening in the books and from the way grrm reacted to the finale it seems obvious to me, then... again you can agree or disagree with me but I wrote so much meta on the topic I honestly feel like I'd be rehashing myself over and over if I went about it again but like

of course everyone believes in their own interpretation but there's no way I'm gonna be swayed by any argument agains kitn!bran and 7k!jon who then abdicates and goes to the wildlings by anything that's not grrm publishing ados and writing differently, godspeed and that's mvho ;)

#ask post #janie replies #anonymous #queue of the beam #guys like i get it but idt i can be swayed by any argument #ive thought about this for years #it's my ultimate thing to say so until i see grrm publishing differently idt i'm gonna go back on it #anti-cersei lannister #anti-jaime x cersei

[multitrackdrifting]

In my mind G-Witch ends at Episode 15 and they just forgor to release the rest, there's certain things that are super hard to ignore when you re-watch it (which I have):

Why is Nika a focal point of the 1st season finale but she is in a prison room for the entire 2nd season?

Why do we only see Earth like three times in the story

Why is Guel Jeturk given two potential mentors from Dominicus but doesn't remain on Earth despite everything in the narrative pointing toward it (Kenanji, who was the ace pilot that helped kill everyone in the prologue, and Olcott who is a defector that is part of the Fold's militant arm).

Why do characters that seemingly need to have a conversation simply not do that? None of the children talk to their parents at the end of the story even for the ones that are alive. The easy response is that overcoming trauma and conflicts may not require the other party who had a role in creating it, but I don't think that's an apt way to actually answer this question. I think they just had to hand in their homework and top brass refused more seasons.

Why do the Dawn of Fold mostly get shown in a negative light (yes, I realize that they're a front for something else) and the story does nothing to convince the viewer that the Earthian plight is a sympathetic or human one besides the children dying? There's a genuine lack of time spent on Earth as a subject and it leaves this obscure veil over the entire subject

The lack of observed "conflict" throughout the story is a fine concession compared to the average Gundam series, but it also carries the caveat that it doesn't really work if 3/4 of the show is non-lethal combat scenarios because for that narrative choice to be more effective, they need to show how violent the conflicts on Earth are besides showing it briefly a couple of times.

Why is Earth House not even a thing in the 2nd season, like they are there and they talk, but they have no material role in the story besides Martin and Nika making amends. I think this part wouldn't annoy me half as much if every Earthian besides them wasn't literally a terrorist within the narrative and not even in like a Zeta Gundam kind of way.

Overall Earth got completely shafted which is the central gripe most people will have with the political side of the story, everything got hand-waved, and the plight of those struggling with the proxy wars on Earth is barely shown. Everyone waxes on about the state of Earth and how things are going but nothing substantive is explored with it in a way that matters in the grand scheme of things.

Why does Prospera not even give a shit that Kenanji is there like, I know you can spin this a certain way but it's genuinely hilarious...?

I can think of more, but I like G-Witch but the political side of the story is genuinely less interesting than IBO and folks that know me know I don't even like IBO. When it comes to character writing and emotional storytelling it's some peak, but it's very bad as military sci-fi specifically because its commentary on Warfare isn't bad b/c of space magic, it's bad because nothing actually happens, and the central political tension is literally handwaved in the finale. Having the warfare sit in abstraction for the entire duration of the story with the exception of the final arc of the first season and jumping in and out of our periphery in the 2nd ultimately makes the commentary it has on the warfare of the story feel like an ivory tower take on conflict because the characters for the most part can put aside the fact that war on earth exists despite the dialogue. I still think it's good, but it carries the weight of expectations it can't reasonably meet due to its duration, honestly Earth would have to just be cut out for this story not to disappoint half as much wrt it.

I think the thing that frustratse me the most, is that they give Prospera Full Frontal's scene from Gundam Unicorn but it's actually different because of how it unfolds in the ending. The thing is like ,it's actually good to give her that, but it still lacks the substance required for it to be an effective and cathartic resolution for her character since they do it during a period of time where the viewer that actually cares about the backdrop of the world w/ a lot of unanswered questions.

I'd still give the experience of watching it like a 9 in all fairness, but once you reealise the space politics are actually undercooked severely, it's more like a 7.5 at best for me, I think the emotional character writing and happy endings for the characters were enjoyable to see I just think the space-politics side of the story was very undercooked. While it's tempting to theorize as to why they weren't given more episodes during its run, according to the production announcement around October '22 they knew that it was 25 episodes about the entire time the show had begun airing, so the gaps in our knowledge aren't the product of sabotage, but necessary sacrifices to even get a legible story out the door. It's more accurate to say that the decision to continue the AU was not given despite the immense success during its airing - I believed it would get more episodes as IBO did, but one of those shows 1st halves ended on a cliffhanger and the other did not :/

The easiest way to phrase this is that it's a good show if you can put aside that it should have a stronger political side (within the context of its own world) and it's not even unreasonable to expect given the moving parts of the show starting from the prologue - but yeah, too little to say everything it needs to, so it just remains a good romance story but a pretty undercooked Gundam, which is nothing new for the series.

I'd liken it to FFXV is good if it's your first FF game it's good as hell if this is where you start, but a holistic look at it would make it feel bad if you've watched other Gundam series. And trust me, there are a LOT of undercooked and bad Gundam endings, it's not unique to this series. GSD and IBO are some ones I will never even bother defending, but I appreciate the genuine effort into the construction of this show it's just a shame it's not 50 episodes.

tl;dr - the first mainline gundam besides g-reco having less than 50 episodes results in a good story and world that has borderline nothing to say about some of its more glaring conflicts, the social side of things is interesting, the political side is completely uncooked.

#blah blah yeah nobody cares iknow #g witch spoilers #side note i dont really like that they made kenanji a fat joke to show that hes a loser in the time skip thats so lazy

[o-uncle-newt]

Cabin Pressure Advent Day 17: Qikiqtarjuaq

Or, if Arthur had his way, Quikiqutarjuaqu?

Q (because The Name is very annoying to type) is, as I said back in my Boston post, not one of my favorites. And I wish it were, because, like Ottery St Mary (which has its own divisive moments), it has SO many classic bits. The traveling lemon! Le bear polar! Farewell bear facts! From that perspective it's incredible.

But it has a weird tone problem, and to me, the whole thing comes back to Nancy Dean Liebhart.

Yes, yes, it's because she's American and Americans on British sitcoms are never great, fine. But I think in this case it goes beyond that, because a lot of the episode ends up circling around her and her reactions. Martin wants to impress her; Douglas seems to (though it's not explicit) want to piss her off, if it'll mean dinging Martin in the self esteem in the process; Carolyn wants to show her that she doesn't matter. (Arthur, of course, just wants to tell people bear facts. Lovely Arthur.)

To be clear- the Martin-Carolyn plotline would have happened regardless, because he's genuinely pissed about having to cancel a paying job. Their whole scene feels a little bit... almost too much? Like, Carolyn is actually pretty cruel to him in her response to his request, and Martin's rant back to her is almost too pathetic, if that makes sense. It's internally consistent from an emotional standpoint, but it feels out of sync tonally with the rest of the episode- which is one of the reasons why I felt genuine uncomfortable when Douglas wanted to continue the traveling lemon game and Carolyn was like "oh well maybe not"... because Carolyn had just had a serious come-to-Jesus moment with Martin and Douglas was still in his own stupid world about trying to be an asshole.

Because here's the thing. Douglas was SUPER unprofessional throughout. The episode knows this obviously, and acknowledges it outright in the end. There's a power struggle between Martin and Douglas about it, and we've seen that before. But the difference is... I don't think that this one was actually very funny. It just feels like Douglas being a jerk for the sake of it, and then when that ends up involving things like the Bear Polar and Captain du Creff, which are gut-bustingly hilarious, they just go together like chalk and cheese.

To get back to Nancy Dean Liebhart- it's all her fault, in my opinion. She's just not funny, and as I said about Hester Macaulay in Cremona (who I don't think was as bad as this...), she needs to either be really funny or really wrong in order for the hijinks of the plot to work, and she's neither. All of the above conflicts circling around her (entirely reasonable!) complaints, and her weirdly arbitrary decision to pick on Martin about them which of course ends up being the place where the plot starts... it's just uncomfortable because she's basically right but the episode treats her like she's ridiculous.

I'm curious if any British listeners will disagree with me on this- I'm wondering if there's just a British trope of "naggy American woman" that makes this funny in the UK. Maybe some kind of Karen trope, but where it doesn't matter what the complaint is as long as the accent is (mostly) right? I don't know. Nancy is definitely somewhat Karen-y in how she comes across and how she talks to people, but her points are largely valid (and therefore not super funny) and that's fatal for a character like her. It forces us to pay more attention to Douglas's response and how he's being deliberately spiteful specifically to screw with Martin, and to the weirdly intense Martin-Carolyn subplot, and then contrasts it with the nutty Bear Polar subplot and Arthur and his bears, which are all super silly. And it leads to it just being... strange, tonally, and not in a way that I personally like.

Without her, I think a lot of the same things COULD have happened, but they'd have happened on their own terms. We could have seen Martin be annoyed at Douglas for the Hitchcock cabin address and seen that as "Martin being a stickler" rather than "the paying customer being annoyed," and it would have been more like other similar episodes where Martin is the safe pilot and Douglas is the good one. We'd have seen Martin be annoyed about not being paid and having his paying work sabotaged, and maybe even him taking that out on Douglas a bit. And I think it would have de-intensified certain things in a way that would have helped. Nancy Dean Liebhart just fucked with the rhythms of the show and wasn't even funny enough to justify it.

This whole rant makes it seem like I hate the episode, and... I don't, really. There are too many good moments. But I have to watch it with my finger on the "skip" button.

#cabin pressure #cabin pressure advent #cabin pressure advent 2023 #qikiqtarjuaq #john finnemore

[veronicaleighauthor]

Emma & Mr. Knightley

“I am going to take a heroine whom no one but myself will much like.” – Jane Austen once wrote of her character Emma Woodhouse.

But really, since I first read “Emma” in the mid-2000s, Emma Woodhouse was never difficult for me to like. The novel opens with this: “Emma Woodhouse, handsome, clever, and rich, with a comfortable home and a happy disposition… had lived nearly twenty-one years in the world with very little to distress or vex her.” We are more than prepared that we’re about to be introduced to a spoiled, little rich girl who likes to have her way. I believe it’s Emma’s faults that endear us to her. She’s not a bad person; she’s not immoral or vicious. She’s devoted to her father, she looks after the poor, she adores her former governess/companion Mrs. Weston. Though she’s twenty-one at the start of the story, the novel is a bildungsroman – one of self-discovery and self-improvement. When I first read “Emma” and watched the adaptation with Gwyneth Paltrow and Jeremy Northam, I was totally Team Emma and Knightly – the two actors totally sold the romance on screen. Emma should be a difficult character to translate to screen – but every actress that portrays her brings her to life in a new way.

Time passed, and after other re-readings and study of articles and literary criticism, I began to question Austen marrying Emma off to Mr. Knightley – the guy who spends most of the book scolding and lecturing her. There were times I thought she and Harriet Smith should have a Boston Marriage (apologies, that term comes later in history), or Emma should remain single and free. After all, throughout the book Emma insists she will never marry, and from the adaptations it seems the one she shows continual interest in is Harriet. I became dissatisfied with Austen’s ending and couldn’t fathom why she ended up with Knightley.

In the last couple of months, I re-read “Emma” and I rewatched “Emma 2009” where Romola Garai portrays Emma, and Johnny Lee Miller plays Mr. Knightley. The 2009 version is four episodes long, so we are able to spend time with the characters and enjoy their story arcs. Also, kudos to Johnny Lee Miller for making Mr. Knightley absolutely hilarious. And Romola Garai….Emma Woodhouse seems to have been created for her. Because of the re-read and rewatch, I’m back to being Team Emma and Knightley. Why did I change my mind yet again?

Following the marriage of Miss Taylor to Mr. Weston, Emma has time on her hands and decides to take Harriet Smith under her wing and match her up with Highbury’s vicar, Mr. Elton. For the first volume, most of Emma’s attention is on Harriet, the belief that Harriet is the daughter of a gentleman, and this prospective match. There are other things going on, but Emma’s focus is primarily on Harriet…but as the book progresses her interest in Harriet wanes. Harriet is still a sort of companion to Emma, but after Mr. Elton drunkenly proposes to Emma at Christmas time and her plans are ruined, Harriet is more in the background. Emma occasionally thinks of her, considers setting her up with others, and then after Harriet fancies herself in love with Knightley, Emma ghosts her friend. In the book, their friendship is never quite the same. When Harriet’s father is revealed to be a *gasps* tradesman and she marries Robert Martin, placing her in a different place in society, they go their separate ways. Harriet is also an afterthought when characters like Frank Churchill, Mrs. Elton, and Jane Fairfax show up in Highbury.

Mr. Knightley, however, is consistent throughout the book. Yes, he’s often scolding or mansplaining, but he is there and Emma’s romance with him is foreshadowed from the start. In his defense, he does own up to mistakes and faults. Emma and Knightley were always friends; they speak with out reservations, with complete honesty. Theirs is a friendship to lovers trope – perhaps its even the origin of this trope. In a way, I prefer their romance. They are equals and will never have to worry about one or the other being higher or lower in their sphere. They bicker and fuss like an old married couple. Yet Emma greatly admires Mr. Knightley; in her opinion he is the best example of what a gentleman ought to be. He is intelligent, honest, responsible, considerate of others, thoughtful, loyal, diligent, active…Emma becomes the best version of herself when she’s with him.

Like Emma, I’m searching for my own Mr. Knightley – someone I admire enough to fall in love with. My aunt once told me it's best to have a friendship with the person you fall in love with. Because if the romance and sparks peter off, and hard times come along, you'll still have that friendship to sustain you.

Until next time.

#jane austen #emma #emma woodhouse #mr. knightley #emma 2009 #period drama #love #friendship

[supercalifragipopculturevomit]

Saturday Night Live S49E16: Kristen Wiig

How epic was last weekend's episode of SNL?? Wiig is one of the all-time greats, it shouldn’t be a surprise, but you never really know with this show. Sometimes the host’s humor doesn’t gel well with the cast or translate to the audience. Sometimes the energy is just... off.

Wiig's been beloved as a comedian for a long time, but I gained even more appreciation for her after this episode. The sketches she picked, not only did they play to her strengths but also gave other people the opportunity to shine. And her humor is so fluid: she can do loud, physical comedy as well as subtle, niche comedy. Like the secret ingredient to everything, she elevates any dish.

Let’s start with the cameos because IT WAS STACKED. Any of the guests on any given night would have been enough, but she is getting inducted into the “Five-Timers Club”, so the show pulled out all the stops.

It starts off with Paul Rudd and Matt Damon in the audience; cuts to Jon Hamm, Martin Short, Fred Armisen, and (my beloved) Will Forte off to the side; and — as if that wasn't enough — it ends with Ryan Gosling bequeathing her the coveted jacket. JUST BANANAS. Full monologue HERE.

It was reminiscent of her last episode as a cast member, with legend after legend seeing her off.

NOW, ONTO THE SKETCHES:

JUMANJI – Andrew Dismukes is his own person but there’s something about him that reminds me of Forte. His humor is not as unconventional but he has a similar dedication to absurdity. With sheer commitment, he makes a lot of stuff work that really shouldn’t. So it made sense to me that Forte was invited to this sketch—which I can only assume came from the mind of Dismukes.

No offense to the current SNL batch, I like them a lot, but this episode made it apparent that Wiig, Forte, (and also Armisen) are on another level. Wiig, the reigning queen of the batshit lady, set the tone for this bizarre scenario. She made it work. Forte, the ultimate king of 10 to 1 sketches, added credibility to it. I'm trying to imagine it with Heidi Gardner and Mikey Day as placeholders for Wiig and Forte, respectively, and while I could still see it kind of working, I don't know if it would be as memorable.

PILATES (Pre-Tape) – this could should be an actual movie. Wiig as the creepy, high-energy instructor calling everyone "Mamas" cracked me up. Partly because it reminded me of Kaley Cuoco’s irritation with the pet name, which she recently griped about on the Conan Needs a Friend podcast.

SECRETARIES – this sketch wasn’t made for Jon Hamm but it was also made for Jon Hamm. Trudy made her first appearance when Pete Davidson hosted at the start of the season. Gardener carried that sketch the best she could but now she had two aces up her sleeve: Wiig and Hamm. Wiig, as Tootie, dived into the screwball comedy complete with mid-Atlantic accent; while Hamm only needed to revisit his role as Don Draper. I was near tears seeing them at the brink of breaking near the end. Also made me miss seeing them in Bill Hader’s Vincent Price sketches. It's got a similar vibe.

RETIREMENT PARTY – my favorite sketch of the night. This was the closest an alumnus has ever gotten to recreating the mid to late-aughts vibe of SNL, my favorite era. I've not thought about this sketch much or particularly missed it, but when Wiig came out with her oxygen tank, Armisen in his knee-length trousers, and Forte in his Hamilton wig, I was hit with so much joy and nostalgia. Made me realize how much I, as a viewer, took for granted, spoiled with such a wealth of hilarious recurring sketches.

Jason Sudeikis was often the perfect straight man for these sketches, but Day did a good job reacting to all the unhinged guests. I also wonder if he had a hand in writing it as Wiig’s lines sounded like something his character Supercentenarian Mort Fellner would say.

WEEKEND UPDATE – once again, Marcello Hernandez ruled behind the desk, this time as the 4.8 Magnitude Earthquake that recently (very gently) shook New York. He was later joined by Keenan Thompson as the Solar Eclipse. Not the biggest fan of Thompson but I do enjoy his dynamic with Hernandez. Wiig, on the other hand, reprised her favorite character, movie critic Aunt Linda. Her film reviews are always a riot but she had me cackling the moment she referred to Colin as Seth.

GO-KARTS – solid sketch that got me so invested and left me with many questions: What’s the bad thing? Why would it get Daddy drinking again? But mostly, who’s Sheila? Chloe Troast’s reveal off to the side was a nice touch. And the nickname, Big C, had me hollering.

LA MAISON DU BANG! – this was the sort of sketch Wiig used to do a lot with Maya Rudolph and Amy Poehler back in the day and while I enjoyed seeing how much fun they were having, it was never something I got overly excited about. But seeing a version of it reborn was a delight. Molly Kearney leaping into frame with a saxophone was a welcome surprise. Reminiscent of Sudeikis’ tracksuit-wearing dancer in What Up With That?.

The musical guest, Raye, also killed it. She's like Amy Winehouse reincarnate. She sang barefoot at one point and I loved that tiny detail.

Links to her incredible performances HERE and HERE.

Fantastic show, all around. Best of the season, so far.

#saturday night live #snl #kristen wiig #raye #snl49 #will forte #fred armisen #aunt linda #paul rudd #martin short #jon hamm #matt damon #ryan gosling #lorne michaels #andrew dismukes #heidi gardner #mikey day #ego nwodim #marcello hernandez #keenan thompson #molly kearney #season 49 #episode 16 #five-timers club #nbc #my gifs

[babiejeeves]

good lord I’m so sorry these are sketchy but I have longwinded character design explanations that I need to get down asap

spoilers and unneeded character ramblings below the cut and in the annotated sheet

woo okay so when I started MAG I had a very clear image of Jon’s character in my head. A very old, very grouchy old man w/ some trace of South/East Asian descent who definitely had like a coin collection or something. So when I find out Jon is much younger than I first thought I was left scrabbling in my brain because okay, he’s young, but then in addition the widely accepted depiction of Jon is so far off from what I initially envisioned. (not that I don’t LOVE the design, I simply think I would do it injustice in my art style)

woo okay so when I started MAG I had a very clear image of Jon’s character in my head. A very old, very grouchy old man w/ some trace of South/East Asian descent who definitely had like a coin collection or something. So when I find out Jon is much younger than I first thought I was left scrabbling in my brain because okay, he’s young, but then in addition the widely accepted depiction of Jon is so far off from what I initially envisioned. (not that I don’t LOVE the design, I simply think I would do it injustice in my art style)

So after that I was terrified to touch his character at all. Like I was all the way through s4 before I started really jotting things down for Jon. I was having such a difficult time with it that I worked on it throughout all of s5, and finished 200 and still had no idea what to do for his design. So I kinda gave up, turned to fanart and fics to look for inspiration, and then started to see that the fandom literally had a separation of the characters’ development. Tags like “s1 Jon” or “s4 Martin”. So then my brain turned on again and said “okay, so I need to draw different people!” And so I did.

Hopping into s1 Jon’s design, I hate it. I hate it so much. I toiled for a good two hours for this one sketch and I hate it. But that’s it’s intention and I find it hilarious. S1 Jon killed me dude. He made me so uncomfortable and annoyed but he was written so well that he kinda turned into a hard to swallow pill. So I made that my design. The hard ass, the skeptic, everything about Jon that I, Tim, Sasha, Martin HATED and I made it s1 Jon. So yeah, my s1 Jon design makes me writhe in pain but I revel in the fact that I accomplished my goal for him in that respect.

s2-s4 Jon is like pinnacle accomplishment for me. I tasked myself to make Jon not differ in appearance too greatly, but to appear younger, as in those seasons he is incredibly naive and paranoid, in an indignant-child kind of way. All the same, he is fighting with existentialism. Gotta love juxtaposition ig. Anyways, the differences are self explanatory for the most part. The untucked shirt, the mismatched socks, the unkempt appearance all around. Children and existential adults both have trouble keeping up with appearances and hygiene, hence those decision. The body language is a given too lmao.

S5 Jon is still kind of up in the air as to my decisions on his design. If you’re an character design over-analyst like me I love suggestions. And god forbid if you read all of this thank ya kindly lmao.

#tma fanart #tma #the magnus archives #the magnus pod #jon sims #jonathan sims #character design