#very fascinating stuff i will say

[drieddpetals]

wylan: *explaining schrödinger's cat* "...quantum superposition."

jesper: "that was my nickname in university."

#i'll seduce him with my intellectual discussions about quantum mechanics #-wylan probably #i love their dynamic #recently remembered that schrödinger's cat is a thing #very fascinating stuff i will say #side note i thing the *that was my nickname in high school* type jokes are so funny 😭 #six of crows #incorrect six of crows #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #six of crows fandom #incorrect soc quotes #incorrect soc #incorrect six of crows quotes #wesper my beloved #wesper

[pherredraws]

from the homumiko mines

#dgs #tgaa #dgs spoilers #tgaa spoilers #homumiko #idk why mikotoba is taller in the kiss. hes on his tiptoes #the first one is inspired by the moment when sholmes puts his hands on ryu's neck so he can feel how cold they are from blood loss lol #anyway i continue to be deeply fascinated with early years homumiko #i feel like my view of their relationship is more slowburn than most #like. they were both not at their best when they met and i can very much see a scenario where they start living together w/out necessarily #liking each other #the last one in based on a line in 1-5 where gregson (?) says that after an hour of blood loss even sholmes piped down or something #which makes me think he would not shut up beforehand. and i think he'd say some stuff He Really Shouldn't Have #but susato wrote it off as delirium + she was too worried abt her dad and messing with the crime scene #que like 5 months later her going .........ohhhhhh #thats not how you write que i think. anyway

[secondbeatsongs]

I love being someone's science experiment

#personal #read: #my top surgeon continues to be fascinated by me #last time it was because I said it was fascinating to watch him pull stitches out of my chest #(he said the last guy had passed out so he kept asking if I was okay) #this time it's because of how well my nerves reconnected on one side #apparently it's not very normal to have good skin sensation in nipple grafts #but here we are #he put a note in my chart and seemed...excited? #he really looked like he wanted to say ''oh cool!'' or ''weird!'' #but he just said ''huh!'' and seemed enthused #he also kept saying ''oh you look *good*'' in a way that was very genuine #and he's right #my chest looks great #but some part of me wants to be like #intense about his reaction. like #o sculptor of flesh. how do you feel when you behold your creations? #is your vision of yourself one of an artist or of a doctor? is this the line you blur? #anyway that'd be weird so I don't say stuff like that #but I do *want* to #sbs rambles #in the tags #gender #top surgery

[andrewknightley]

Maybe is my very particular interpretation but for me gods are very much a Concept more than people so the whole gale/mystra thing is very much a wizard falling in love with magic itself as an artist falls in love with art itself. And oh man no matter how much you love it that cant never love you back. Not like a real person. But you feel something is missing and you dont know what it is (it is real human connection and people who actually love you) so you are like. "Ah i see i could become Better At What I Am I just need to Improve." And thats your thing ! and what people said you were good at since you were a kid thats where your value is isnt it!!

#mystra telling gale to kill himself its a metaphor of thinking you have to crunch and overwork in this essay i will #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #anyways i find gale/mystra fucked up thing fascinating narrativelly in like #oh This Really Would Fuck Up Someone Big Time Wouldnt It #in a loving gale way in a “im studying what happened here” way not in a shipping way u know #like this story its so good. #so many things that in the first game were like xd gale really loves u for doing the bare minimun haha lmao lol #are like. oh boy he didnt even have the bare minimun #sometimes in his romance he says such sad stuff like “its nice to feel wanted :>” #bestie thats the bare minimun in a relationship what did mystra did to you #a friend who just started act 1 told me “gale has very low standars for a guy who fucked a god.you would think he expected more from people #makes u think..... #he is like some colleages tried to contact/visit me at first #like colleages not friends gale?? did you had some friend apart fron tara before the game???? #gale of waterdeep #mystra

[kazz-brekker]

read the invocations by krystal sutherland as an arc i got from work and god i love when magic is just truly weird and terrifying and gross and has an awful cost. there are genuinely inhuman and frightening demons that latch on your soul like a parasite and slowly drain it in exchange for magic! demonic bargains gone wrong that rot a person from the inside out and decay the world around them! an orchard where the trees grow rotten fruit and ground weeps blood because unavenged murder victims are buried there! the terrifying sense that the characters are tampering with forces beyond their control or understanding!

#it had very strong hellblazer vibes #something about the way the characters are trying to do magic but don't necessarily know what they're doing #and make things worse as a result kind of reminded me of that #also having read both of krystal sutherland's urban fantasy/folk horror books #i have GOT to ask: ma'am what is your fascinated with people getting their skin stolen??? #anyway this book comes out at the end of the month and i def recommend it anyone who likes demons and witches should pick it up #the invocations #krystal sutherland #books #pie says stuff #pie reads

[suffarustuffaru]

I don’t speak Japanese so I’d LOVE to hear more about the differences between the English and Japanese Re:Zero fandoms

yeah sure its very interesting to me now that ive noticed it more lately :o !! though ok disclaimer - i dont speak japanese either hah so if anyone is seeing this and does speak japanese + is familiar with the japanese speaking side of this fandom please add info if youd like!! and of course ill be mainly speaking from the english side of things bc im more familiar with that yes (sorry anon again im not a japanese speaker T^TT so sorry if i tread on info you already know!!). but yeah im speaking from my own experiences given the Topic at hand. ive been in this fandom since... 2019?? which is so wild to me aljsdfljsd.

anyway so - i think the big difference is mainly that the english fandom and many english speaking people that engage with rezero are. to put it bluntly, misconception runs Rampant to a very Interesting degree. to the point where it seems like the english speaking side of the fandom is More. Aggressive. than the japanese fandom. not that the japanese speaking side of the fandom is perfect - also bc what fandom is ever perfect 100% of the time, tbh - but that the louder people in the english rezero fandom are. well its a Very low bar. Very low. and from what little ive seen and heard so far, the japanese fandom tends to understand rezero and its characters better than the english fandom. which ig makes sense bc you know, rezero is japanese media, and also im sure cultural differences come into play here as well (im not familiar enough on this to speak about it in depth but the cultural differences feel Pretty Clear even though i cant 100% put my finger on what they specifically are).

but also bc yeah. its not That hard to beat some of the english fandom when it comes to media comprehension. misreading rezero is unfortunately Extremely common, both in and out of the rezero community. its Everywhere - youtube, myanimelist, ao3, ff.net, reddit, twitter, various rezero discords - and from what ive experienced, rezero tumblr basically kind of feels like finding an oasis after crawling through the desert for days on end lajdslfjs. which is probs bc rezero tumblr is Smaller and also a lot of us seem to be lgbtq+ in some way or be allies, so you dodge a lot of the misogyny and homophobia that happens in other rezero english circles. its why you see a lot of openly queer rezero-related posts on here while its a bit more. barren. in other rezero english places yes. bc its more safe to post queer rezero things on rezero tumblr rather than rezero reddit for Sure.

im not sure how the japanese fandom is with that exactly but theres some interesting differences between whats popular in the english fandom vs the japanese fandom. i mean as an otto fan ive been noticing how hes more popular with the japanese fandom—and on top of that, ottosuba is Way More popular in the japanese fandom too. reinsuba and julisuba seem to usually be the most popular mlm subaru ships in both fandoms but ottosuba is like A Little Up There in the japanese fandom. not sure if its on the same level as a ship like reinsuba but ottosubas Definitely loved as a ship. from what little ive seen it also seems like ships like vichisha are more acknowledged by the japanese fandom? im not entirely sure on like—Complete differences regarding what the japanese fandom finds interesting that may differ from english fandom, so ill really have to look more into the japanese fandoms fanart and fanfic when i can bc im pretty curious too. in general though, it seems like the japanese fandom has a bit more variety…. you can find fanart on So Many characters in rezero (which already has a very Massive cast full of very fleshed out characters) there. not that you cant in the english fandom bc theres a Bit of variety too, but id more so contribute that a little more to the Big Cast and less to having actual variety in fancontent. and of course im not saying that the japanese fandom may be a bit barren in some areas of fancontent—bc inevitably when u have a big cast of characters, side character content is gonna be more sparse compared to the main characters, but to me it does feel like the english fandom lacks variety in comparison. (and also yeah. seems like the japanese fandom acknowledges gay ships more in general tbh.)

whats focused in fancontent makes it easy to tell what may be popular in a fandom in terms of how fans perceive the source material and what fandoms want to do with the source material, if that makes sense. and its very easy to tell that with the english fandom if you just hop on rezero ao3–or even better, rezero reddit given theres a fanfic ideas thread thats usually pinned right at the top of the site. again i havent looked at japanese fanfic for rezero yet (bc i dont know where to look oops ajdndn) but when it comes to the english fandom you can tell that theyre generally more focused on the female cast both in fanart and in fanfic bc. theyre women and many fans on say, reddit or various rezero discords, are cis straight men, so inevitably… well lets just say you can tell when a man makes content for this fandom o.o theres also the. very weird reaction fic trends and trends following popular fics in the fandom, the two biggest being the watching him die again and again react fic and re:forgotten, the former of which includes a harem plot with subaru and the main girls of rezero while the latter is one of those subaru gets tortured by his ooc friends and then he gets revenge on them fics. which i suppose says something about the english fandom too.

of course on ao3 its dominated mainly by english fics (of course not all fics on there for rezero are in english— big shoutout to all the non english fics on rezero ao3 ur doing great <3 — but the majority are in english). and while yeah ur occasionally gonna find stuff like queer content or side character content or rarepair content, its definitely not that big in amount and also comes with the risk of. Hate. if anyones reading this and remembers the lone star stuff. (if u dont know—lone star was a julius x emilia fic where they NTR subaru or some shit and then it got bombed with hate bc of the ship? yeah.) so yeah english fandom is very cis straight oriented, ironically with the nastiest people being the very people that rezero criticizes. though this is also my personal experience, i do know several people personally whove been in this fandom for a while or were here for a while and yeah english fandom isnt very welcoming at times???? and it seems like at the very least the japanese fandom is A Little Less Aggressive than the english fandom is.

otherwise. yeah im very very curious about more of the differences in popular content between the japanese vs english fandom. i mean the english fandom’s main focus on the female cast for. Interesting Reasons other than their actual character depth is… interesting. and the astreas being popular in general vs otto + ottosubas popularity fluctuating is also very interesting to me (but i have several guesses as to Why that is), among other things. yeah id love to know what else the japanese fandom likes about rezero and see more of their content. i also have to wonder if characters like emilia and subaru are hated less by the japanese fandom…. T^T well that and the english fandom and many english speaking people engaging in rezero have this interesting pattern of either hating subaru No Matter What, wanting subaru to Not Be Subaru (ie using him as a self insert almost or attempting to change him into virtually another character), or putting subaru on a pedestal and ignoring his flaws and mistakes and that he Can do wrong. like theres Really not a lot of nuance there. so i wonder if the japanese fandom is. A Little more chill when it comes to character opinions like this too.

#rezero #tldr: english fandom sets the bar so low (unless ur on rz tumblr) that the japanese fandom def seems a bit better by comparison #in terms of. Calmness levels. #every time i step into a rezero space that isnt tumblr i get a little worried my heads gonna get bitten off by someone HAH #recently someone tried arguing with me over how i interpret otto (this was on reddit) and then said stuff that showed they did Not #understand his character that well so that was awkward 😭😭😭 #even just by looking at otto fanart from the japanese fandom it seems like more people understand his character there. in the english fandom #he is. either Not There or his flaws are just handwaved away or replaced with Different flaws #atm hes the most obvious example i can think of when it comes to. how differently characters can be percieved by different parts of a fandom #for rezero. like hes near invisible here but ottosuba being almost on the same level as REINSUBA in jp fanbase is crazy to me #kinda reminds me of the disney’s duffy and friends line and how it failed in the us but its SUPER popular in asia. really fascinating #and also yeah some of the english fandom seems. more loudly misogynistic and homophobic which is very unfortunate #also im sorry ill never forgive that random person on reddit i just said one (1) thing on otto and they came for my throat like fr 😭😭😭 #ask #i do wonder why reinsuba is so popular but thats probs bc reinhards well loved too and also hes op. which is a bonus for the english fandom #bc theyre into all the power scaling stuff. and also reinhard gets the other bonus of being a guy and he isnt shafted by canon. hes treated #very sympathetically which is another bonus akdnsn #i say this as a reinhard fan btw but as an emilia fan im also crying bc theyre SO SIMILAR and yet why do people hate emilia…. #but u know. reins a guy and we havent got his pov yet so there isnt much to hate.

[4ce-of-2pades-inkwell]

Fanart for @inkwellphasmophobia!!!

I got really inspired by the Phasmophibia AU. Specifically, oddly enough, by the whole mental asylum part in particular. It would be Mugs, wouldn't it? (Seems like no matter what AU, the one consistent thing about him is that he's gonna snap eventually in some way.)

So I did a few sketches, which somehow ended up turning into an entire comic. (I am not going to confess how late I stayed awake working on this.) I didn't feel like taking the time to make a polished version, but I wanted to share it nonetheless, so you're going to have to deal with my messy scribbles and placeholder characters. I don't know how much of this will turn out to be canon, but hopefully it's cool and tragic anyway. (...Does this need trigger warnings?)

(The sketches on the right of this first image aren't panels of the comic, by the way, they're separate drawings. You can tell 'cause they're not in boxes.)

And somehow these two get in an argument:

All this fanart and not a single mention of ghosts.

#inkwell phasmophobia #phasmophobia AU #cuphead #mugman #bendy #I also had the idea that Mugs has the ability to speak in some kind of eldritch demon-like language #not necessarily possession but more like he's been changed or tainted by an interaction with SOMETHING while ghost hunting with the gang #and this is the cause of both his insanity and his more frequent speaking in that other language #sometimes he can't control when or what he says in the eldritch language (so who knows what he could be summoning amiright?) #sometimes he just chooses to and seems to enjoy speaking it #('cause he's sorta lost it) #and meanwhile Cups is trying to gently direct him away from it like “hey let's maybe NOT talk in the demonic tongue right now?” #if Mugs got enough control over his mind he could be the group's connection to supernatural magic and demonic stuff #because he understands it and can interact with it in a way other people can't (he's not very angsty about it--mostly more fascinated) #(because he's a ghost nerd) #man I'm coming up with a lot of stuff for an AU that Is Not Mine #sorry about that

[orcelito]

minor details, but in chapter 68 of trimax we do see this bit:

the items that vash kept in his coat.

a "funbari doll" (which i cant find anything definite online about what that is with just a cursory look, so im going to run under the assumption that theyre some kind of collectable in-universe) & it's a red one, which is apparently rare. he still has the same pen radio that connects to his earring that's used waaay back on the sandsteamer. a swiss army knife, a random key, a used tissue (?), and...

a lighter? blow torch? i still cant tell what that last bar thing is tho. & i guess he had some kind of (normal) coin too? but Only One.

love the characterization implications for this lol. definitely the kind of pocket contents i'd expect from a silly immortal with a big coat

#speculation nation #fanny reads trigun #fanny's trigun analysis #trigun #just. hm. for Fic Purposes this is pretty useful. #it's cute that he has the doll. very vash. #overall tho it's very utility-driven. swiss army knive + blow torch. Yeah those would be useful to just have. #gotta wonder what that key is to. maybe i'll keep my eyes peeled in my official reread to see if it's mentioned. #otherwise i might have to just accept it as an unknown. & perhaps make smth up for Fic Purposes lol #he got the pen back from Kaite. which is a very interesting detail. not exactly useful for my fic bc he does not have that pen anymore lol #unsure if the coin is currency or some other thing. if it Is currency then lmfao @ vash being flat broke before all of this. #but THEN AGAIN early on he does say a lot of money gets in his way traveling east to west (i think it was) so What's The Truth Vash? #anyways im still looking for a new icon. got a few possibilities but im still undecided. #in the meantime U guys can have this lol. im fascinated by all the little details that are put in like this. #i really do love that he carries a swiss army knife & a blow torch. would they still call it a swiss army knife? #he does refer to the french language so obvs he knows about old earth stuff. for ease's sake id probably just call it a swiss army knife lo #bc yes now that i know he carries a swiss army knife it will Possibly come up in my fic. this is a tool i can use for my Purposes heheh

[itspileofgoodthings]

Taylor returning over and over to the falling through the ice accident in the Bolter—everything to me

#like. just. the shock of it all #there’s something about Taylor where her experience of life is so ….. brutal #like I don’t know how else to say it but it just is. life is not easy on her it is always ready to CLOBBER her #and in a way she’s not easy on life. there’s some kind of magnets/opposite poles stuff where she’s just always drawn to the worst things #to feeling them and experiencing them and almost ??? creating them #like I don’t mean to overstate it. and I know she has a family who loves her (thank GOD) #and also she’s very practical and industrious about creating this very Instagram worthy life full of Fine Things and a Fun Time #and of course all the resources in the world at her disposal to create all the trappings of it #whether it’s a celebrity Fourth of July party or the eras tour #and she’ll do it and love it. but as all the best critics know and point out the most fascinating thing about Taylor is always the music #and it’s where all the weirdness and stubbornness and difficulties of her life. her a c t u a l longings her actual fears #her actual terrible awful experiences that she charges headlong down the paths of #is set free! and it’s breathtaking in the most shocking way #like falling through the ice! I always say the first thing that always hits me about a Taylor album is the bitterness #just this blast in the face. and her music is so gentle! in so many ways #and the packaging is so appealing and her voice is so soft and expressive and there is none of that weird experimentation #even musically (remember when she shut down imogen heap for putting a minor chord in clean she was like absolutely not. I’m obsessed) #(with that moment forever) #but like. so much of Taylor’s packaging and life and HER really does SEEM so basic or ordinary or just rich girl ordinary I guess #she likes basic things and wants basic things. but also she is so hungry so restless so angry so wounded the rich internal life is CHURNING #all the time. every second. and it’s spectacular to watch and also I will worry about her until the day I die #or just—-I don’t know. it’s going to be spectacular and it is sometimes going to be awful #but she will keep furiously writing her way through it!! #there IS such a woundedness to her. and it makes me love her so much because it’s packaged in such a way people think it must just be #whining or privilege. but it’s not! it’s just. the human condition and Taylor’s own flaws #okay I’ve lost the plot here a bit in my ramblings but yeah the ice metaphor. insanely perfect

[averlym]

which is gayer? SIX or Adamandi (real)

adamandi

#like. gotta break it to you. one of these musicals is canonically lgbtq and it's not the one where women sing about their dead husband yknow #like. idk what to say! but <shrugs> #ask me stuff??? #must say the fandoms are really quite different. i'm quite fascinated by the dynamics tbh #also i realise a lot of the queendom(? forgot that was the name for a hot sec) go mad about women in shiny pretty costumes slaying #but also hmmmm adamandi is very much gender for me.( for all the characters. but specifically vincent and beatrix) #and the thing about queerness is it literally gets woven into the narrative. and it's Obvious. #smth about canonical lgbt+ rly is just. it hits. the representation is real? as opposed to fandom interpretations only #(and like... i love fandom interpretations and when people can see a new side to the character that they feel seen in!!!) #(but having it be in the original content is just... yeah... you do feel kinda especially seen) #watching adamandi was a bit like first watching firebringer for me? like except for sexuality it was gender o.O #firebringer was the first musical i saw with a canon wlw couple. and like i'd known that girls could like girls for a while but #there was the small italicised oh moment where i was like ''this is actually real'' <it's maybe worth noting i wasn't very active on soc me #about consuming things other than content. so i wasn't very exposed to the community at large. so representation in media mattered!!> #similarly it's been a while since then and both online and irl i've found people who are more open about it and accepting. i've been very #very lucky in that sense. to have specific irl friendgroups where we're all out to each other <based on sentiment? i think most of us #including me. aren't openly out irl> ... and online i'm really glad to have friends who Get It and are similar to me. but the representatio #... !!! omg hsnfjkfgdsdsghf yknow?? the representation in adamandi really got me. the pronouns thing especially. #and because the core source material is Like That.. existing fandom is all accepting already. so bonus points i guess #sorry i have turned this silly little question into a reflection prompt.. but. thoughts. #[wow. on further retrospection i've never outed myself at all online either people just saw the ship art and Inferred and] #[to be fair they were Not Wrong. idk. tumblr avvy is very vastly different from irl me but neither of us feel comfortable stating it so-] #[also worthy mention of the musicals fandom that exposed me to the whole concept of lgbtq+ being a Thing at the ripe young age of 14] #[what a way to discover it. really. i say this with extreme fondness. conversely i have friends who decided through genshin or anime so idk #<i'm aware of the diverse casting thing for six!! i think it's very cool!! i also realise the show plot doesn't really have much to do w it

[ricky-mortis]

Happy anniversary to the Great Boston Molasses flood of 1919! Thinking of you!

#molasses #the great molasses flood #the great Boston molasses flood of 1919 #it’s been 105 years #hands down my favorite event in American history #I have a book about it #dark tide by Stephen Puleo #it’s fascinating #and very telling #I say stuff and things #text post

[transingthoseformers]

Oh I admit Sunder scares the shit out of me. I look at him and I see the damn reaper leviathan from Subnautica, the individual teeth when on a Cybertronian just strikes me as wrong, the fact he deals with mnemosurgery is especially awful to me as someone who's really twitchy about people knowing my thoughts, his very color palette is likely meant to provoke a response in us (assumption), both he and Kaon don't have optics but with Sunder it's much more brutal seeming because you know it's for your damn safety but that it won't wotk actually

Like yes hands down he's more terrifying to me than Overlord or any of the DJD. I can handle gore fairly well, but this guy?

Sunder?

Mmmn no thanks, bye bye

#which I'm pretty sure is exactly the feeling he's supposed to invoke #like kudos on the team over there on this they exactly hit the mark with sunder #now i know a bit about Sunder (not as much as say Overlord or Tarn) and I'll probably be learning stuff I don't know #he's fascinating actually as he's a mnemosurgeon who flipped shit #we actually don't see doctors who flip shit like this very often #lovely character lovely character; he can still fuck off though i want him nowhere near me🥰 #mtmte sunder #comic reading #maccadam #transformers #warning: sunder

[stevethehairington]

first book of 2024 = finished woooohoooo!!!!

#i read the abominable by dan simmons! #it was VERY good omg #started out exactly as i expected and then about 2/3rds of the way through it took QUITE a different turn than i expected it too!!!! #but it was SUCH an enjoyable read #like i could NOT put it down #its the first book ive read by dan simmons but i loved the way he writes so i am FULLY intending to read more of his stuff #in fact i have the terror on my bookshelf rn and i think that is going to be my next book! #(i will say tho i WAS a little bit bummed when there were no actual abominable creatures (yeti or otherwise) involved fjsjsks) #OH ALSO THE FRAMING NARRATIVE AT THE BEGINNING AND END!?! FUCKING BRILLIANT!!!!!!! #i will not lie he totally got me with it #i was FULLY convinced that part was actually true until i got to the last page of the book where the discussion questions were #and one of them was like 'how did the framing narrative work? did you believe it?' and i was like [surprised pikachu] fhsjska #there is SO much technical stuff about climbing and how that works and the tools and techniques involved #but omg its so easy to follow along and its SO incredibly fascinating to learn about!!!! #anyways i HIGHLY recommend this one!!!! #mack reads

[kazz-brekker]

objectively i knew that publishing decides ahead of time which books they want to be successful, but it's really SO fascinating to see it play out in real time now that i work as a bookseller. like, we've had plenty of new releases by popular authors like rick riordan and cassandra clare since i started working at my store, and although the really big books sometimes get a piece of merch like a sticker or a little sign advertising the book, iron flame by rebecca yarros is the only book we've released so far that had a midnight release party, mini tote bags for pre orders, specially made pins and temporary tattoos, multiple decorations for the store including a huge poster and cut-outs of dragons to hang on the walls, and a special edition of the first book that's only slightly different from the original book but is selling just as well as the sequel. it's wild. if that publisher decided to push any other book as hard as they were pushing the special edition of fourth wing, that book would be a bestseller several times over. as it is, it makes me dizzy to think about how many copies of those books have sold in the last 24 hours.

#i worked the day that iron flame came out and it was EASILY the book we sold the most of that day #we had so many pre orders we had to put them in a different spot in the store than the other books people ordered #also the special edition has 1. a very slightly different cover and 2. something like 10 pages of extra scenes #and people who already own fourth wing are willing to drop $30 for a second copy!! #it might be because i don't really care about special editions of books but the whole thing is FASCINATING to me #that one single day of working the cash register on november 7th has taught me more about how publishing predetermines which books will sel #than all the articles i've ever read about it combined #pie says stuff #my life #fourth wing #iron flame

[quietwingsinthesky]

soulless sam was at his best when he was still being written as a version of sam, to accentuate parts of him that normally get held back, and not as 'guess he's evil now'. soulless sam when he's reflecting sam's tendency to lose sight of everything else in pursuit of a goal. soulless sam when he's just kind of rude without thinking about it without his filter on. soulless sam when he's equal parts intent on keeping dean with him and also happy to lie to him and keep him shut out of the things he knows dean won't like so that dean won't leave. soulless sam when he equally recognizes that he is a better hunter now, and also that he probably can't continue to exist without his soul. (you know. before they went along with making him just kind of evil.)

...soulless sam when he's begging for literally anyone to acknowledge his autonomy in this situation and not force him to take his soul back without knowing how much it could damage him and being ignored.

#i have normal thoughts about this man #i love the soulless sam arc actually until it nosedives #i love how it gives us a new lens to examine sam through #i love that soulless sam isn't even really! malicious! he's just exactly what he says: a better hunter! #like the most Bad thing he does is inarguably dean vampire transformation #but id point out that. that gives us even more fascinating stuff to analyze about him #like for one. sam knows not only About the cure but about how dean can't drink blood for it to work. right? #so what can we deduce from this: 1) he is not arbitrarily risking his brother. he is making from his pov the most logical decisions to kill #the vamps they're after. and 2) soulless sam without a doubt believes that dean will resist drinking blood. because otherwise the cure won' #work on him. and you can say 'well he doesn't have a connection to dean because soulless reasons' but. i mean. that's false. clearly. #even if all it is is leftover feelings of responsibility towards dean and familiarity and knowing that dean's a good hunter. #that's still a connection! dean *does* matter to him! and soulless sam believes he wont go for blood. that dean can't. #(sidenote if dean did? i dont think soulless would have killed him. this is sam & dean we're talking about. #soul or not. vampire or not. sam is keeping him around.) #anyway the point of this is that soulless sam is both Very Simple to understand and Very Complex when you get into the details of it #but on the basic level he is just sam's drive to hunt unattached from morality. he is just a better hunter. #i like that characterization far better than 'he is evil and wants to do murder and bad things' #oh and also he fucks people's wives. he's fun like that. #soulless!sam #spn #sam winchester

[tinygameroom]

I just got the Wounded Wild and I. Am inconsolable. I'm so fucking sorry love of my life I'm so sorry!! Fuck!!

#slay the princess #now playing #as soon as I saw her i started soBBING #weeping even #how could i do that to her... horrible #this was my first time exploring the witch and the wild #and the wild was FASCINATING #especially for something i found (as I often do with fun stuff in this game) basically by accident #i had no idea that would happen #but then once i got to it i was like #very excited to hear the princess in my head #almost conscious of her part in the shifting mound #conscious of me #and i wanted to reach out to her #but at the same time her needing me to ignore the feelings felt wrong #at least from the perspective of the player in that construct #but also i have larger feelings about the shifting mound as a whole like. not listening to you until the very end #anyway i zeroed in on that and had to keep poking the feelings #and i. did not expect it to have such upsetting consequences. #i know it's all temporary and meaningless and she says don't mourn them #but i do mourn them #we hurt her over and over and i feel it every time #and oh my fucking god did i feel this one