#veronica lodge one shot

[froottalks]

Whispers of Lost Love - Veronica Lodge x reader

[summary: reader and veronica were in a relationship, veronica ends it due to her family/personal problems. later veronica misses the reader but the damage was already done.]

Masterlist

The city streets were painted with the hues of twilight, a melancholic setting that mirrored the storm of emotions within your heart. Veronica Lodge, the woman who had once been the melody of your life, now stood before you like a distant star whose light had faded. The love you had shared, once a symphony of passion and promise, had transformed into a haunting melody of heartbreak.

Veronica's gaze held a mixture of sadness and regret, her lips quivering as if struggling to find the right words. "We need to talk," she said softly, her voice carrying the weight of a decision that could alter the course of your lives.

You let out a nervous laugh, "Everything alright V?" you have an idea of what's to come even though you don't want to believe it. After all, nothing ever comes with your girlfriend saying, we need to talk.

The two of you found yourselves on the balcony of your favorite coffee shop, a place that had once been the backdrop to whispered confessions and shared laughter. Now, the air was heavy with tension, the space between you a chasm that seemed impossible to bridge.

"What is it, Veronica?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, though the fear of what she might say seemed to amplify your words.

She took a deep breath, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I think… I think we should break up."

The words hung in the air like a dissonant chord, shattering the fragile remains of the love you had once nurtured. Your heart seemed to stop, the pain of her declaration a piercing ache that radiated through your chest.

"I don't understand," you managed to say, your voice trembling with a mixture of confusion and hurt.

Veronica's gaze never left yours, her expression torn between sorrow and determination. "(Y/n), I love you, but our paths are... diverging. My family's legacy, the expectations... I'm suffocating, and I... I can't be the person you deserve right now."

Tears blurred your vision as you struggled to process her words. The love that had once felt like an unbreakable bond was now unraveling, slipping through your fingers like mere grains of sand.

"Why didn't you talk to me about this? We could have faced it together," you said, your voice a blend of hurt and desperation.

Veronica's shoulders slumped, the weight of her decision evident in her posture. She had tears streaming down her face now, "I thought I could handle it on my own. I thought I was protecting you."

The pain in your chest deepened, the ache of betrayal mingling with the sorrow of losing the person who had meant the world to you. The city lights twinkled around you, a stark contrast to the darkness that seemed to have settled within your heart.

Days turned into weeks, and the emptiness left by Veronica's absence in your life was a constant reminder of the love you had lost. The places you had once explored together and had filled you with happiness and joy, were now tinged with bittersweet memories, the laughter and shared moments haunting your thoughts like a poignant melody.

You found yourself navigating through life, the once-familiar routine now a chore. The ache of missing Veronica was an ever-present companion, a shadow that seemed to grow longer with each passing day. The lyrics of the songs you once loved held new meanings, resonating with the emotions you were unable to express.

One evening, as the rain pattered against your window, a message notification broke the silence of your solitude. It was from Veronica—an invitation to meet at a place that had once been your sanctuary.

With a mixture of trepidation and longing, you knew you shouldn't but you found yourself at the familiar park bench, the place where you had shared secrets, dreams, and your love. Veronica was already there, her gaze a mixture of sadness and regret. She stood up when she saw you approach,

"(Y/n), I miss you," she said softly, her voice carrying the weight of unspoken emotions.

Your heart ached at her words, the flood of memories overwhelming. "Veronica, why did you end things if you miss me?"

She looked down, her fingers nervously tracing patterns on her lap. "I thought I was doing what was best for both of us. But I've realized that losing you hurt more than any challenge I face."

Tears welled in your eyes as you stared at the person who had once been your everything, now standing before you with a vulnerability that mirrored your own.

"Is there a chance for us?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

You hesitated, the wounds of her decision still fresh. "Veronica, you walked away from us."

She reached for your hand, her touch a fragile lifeline in the sea of pain. "I was wrong, and I regret it every day. But I still love you."

The rain intensified around you, the drops echoing the tears that were threatening to fall from your eyes. The memories of your love story flooded your thoughts—the laughter, the promises, the dreams you had shared.

With a heavy heart, you pulled your hand away. "Veronica, what we had was beautiful, but it's different now. I can't go back to the way things were."

She bowed her head, barely giving a light nod, her shoulders shaking with the weight of her sorrow. "I understand."

The silence that followed was filled with the echoes of a love that had once been everything, and now was a haunting reminder of what could have been.

As you walked away, the raindrops mingled with your tears, each step taking you further from the woman who had once held your heart.

THE END

#veronica lodge #x reader #veronica lodge x reader #veronica lodge x male reader #veronica lodge x female reader #veronica lodge x fem!reader #riverdale #veronica lodge x y/n #angst #angst fic #one shot #oneshot #breakup #sad ending #whispers of lost love

[andsmile]

can't fight the moonlight

He can see Veronica, who’s in the background, but also who’s the center of everything. The center of it all.

or,

a 5x13 little smut shot based on that one gifset. you know which one.

(read on AO3)

#varchie fanfiction #varchie #archie andrews #veronica lodge #i've written a canon compliant smut one shot today #what have i become #anyway enjoy

[bughead-in-the-comics]

From Archie Horror One-Shot: Fear the Funhouse (2022).

#bughead #jughead jones #betty cooper #archie andrews #veronica lodge #reggie mantle #old comics #comics cover #archie horror one shot #fear the funhouse #bughead middle school #bughead camping

[lesbaurinkos]

riverdale presents: into the woods

(it is important, for the purposes of this episode, that hiram lodge has introduced a new drug to the market: evil jellybeans (NOT to be confused with jb jones of course). they're called glimmer beans. it appears he made them as a jab at gladys. they function with the same vague hysteria-inducing properties as jingle jangle and fizzle rocks. but theyre evil jelly beans. timeline-wise literally don't worry about it theyre all still in school but in a world after the heathers episode surely. i also dont care about how long this episode is. ok carry on)

JUGHEAD is playing THE NARRATOR of course. he opens the episode with "once upon a time," changes the far-off kingdom bit to be about riverdale, and we go into a heavily-cut version of Prologue: Into The Woods. for the purposes of this episode, literally just so we can perform prologue, let's say that penelope has decided to try to get polly declared an unfit mother again so she can take custody of juniper and dagwood. alice is ready to go to war about this. (i wish we had a child- i want a child- etc).

polly, meanwhile, is still kind of brainwashed at the moment- edgar had left news of a successor, a King, and she won't stop talking about it; betty is of course deep in investigating how this might tie into the gargoyle king and etc. at the end of the episode prior polly received an invitation to some kind of sinister festival and obviously betty is going to track her there (the king is giving a festival- i wish to go to the festival- etc). it's then a hard cut, in the Jarring Riverdale Cutting Out Verses fashion, to the come little birds verse, switching between cheryl and toni and veronica, where cheryl and toni are searching for whatever dirt penelope is leveraging to even have a case to be suing polly for custody, while veronica is leafing through hiram's study, trying to find evidence that he's behind the glimmer beans. neither endeavor is successful, and it cuts off Into The Pot with penelope and hiram interrupting them, and all three make up excuses and head out for school. (it cuts to into the woods it's time to go i hate to leave i have to though etc)

as prologue continues, the characters make their way to school, inexplicably taking routes through fox forest to do so. we get some shots implying riverdale high is, itself, also in a metaphorical sense The Woods, and then the song reaches its end and we get the classic running through the auditorium to their chairs onto the stage before everyone takes their seats with the final And Home Before Dark. GAY KEVIN, who is DIRECTING, is ecstatic. "welcome to into the woods," he declares, and welcome, indeed.

in classic riverdale musical episode fashion, gay kevin starts going over the cast list. CHERYL has declared herself LITTLE RED and will be happily wearing her awesome hunting cape for the rest of the episode. ARCHIE, he says, will play the BAKER, and VERONICA will play THE BAKER'S WIFE. JOSIE will be playing THE WITCH as she is the one who most deserves to play the most slayful role in the musical. BETTY is playing CINDERELLA. REGGIE is CINDERELLA'S PRINCE and SWEET PEA is RAPUNZEL'S. FANGS is JACK. TONI is CHOREOGRAPHING but ALSO RAPUNZEL because i think it would be funny if for the opening night shots they have her in a really long wig that gay kevin has clearly painstakingly put pink streaks into. we might even see him losing his mind working on it in the background of scenes sometimes. ETHEL is JACK'S MOTHER cause i think her voice is suited to it again not that it really matters she's not gonna be singing jack's mother's parts in this episode of course. half of these castings DO NOT MATTER as everyone will just be singing literally anything, as is again classic riverdale musical episode fashion. but they announce them anyway bc that's how it goes here.

MILKY WHITE, it's important to note, is a prop cow that looks incredibly haunting. here are pictures of the milky white from my own high school production of into the woods, because i think she was beautiful and perfect. something like this will just be chilling onstage in the background of scenes and we have to live with it.

on opening night of the musical, standing with the rest of the cast at bows is THE MYSTERIOUS MAN played by ROBERTO AGUIRRE-SACASA HIMSELF. this is not addressed.

the cast announced, gay kevin has everyone clear the stage for a run-through of It Takes Two with archie and veronica. the two are fighting at the moment, though, so though it starts out going fine, by the end it's a mess (complete with a whole lot of ronnie flipping her hair in his face with the beloved whoosh sound effect). we get shots of the others watching in the auditorium with varying degrees of horror/entertainment. it ends with them running offstage, frustrated. gay kevin wonders as he always does if he's directing a trainwreck.

out in the hallway, archie and veronica fight. archie's been distant, lately, self-destructive- he's been realizing some things about himself and he doesn't really know what to do about it, and their relationship is falling apart. veronica is like "much like the lyrics of our song, you've changed, archiekins! why can't you tell me what's wrong?" and frankly what's wrong is he's starting to realize he likes men. he can't answer her, though, and veronica shakes her head and turns away. it's clear to them both that this isn't working, and she breaks up with him, telling him to come find her when he can admit to whatever's bothering him. (she doesn't want to admit that she's also realizing some things and has also been distant.)

we cut to jughead arriving home and then he freezes. gladys is back, and before he can react, she's like "listen i know you don't want me here but hear me out" and explains how she's back in town because she thinks hiram's glimmer beans production was intended to draw her out and she wants to know why; she thinks jellybean might be in danger. jughead, who was clearly doubting her beforehand, is visibly affected by the thought of jellybean being in trouble; he agrees, begrudgingly, to help gladys out.

(we can also have a scene of alice singing Stay With Me in her usual insane manner somewhere in this episode. i'm not sure where to place it really but. well it's alice. i'm sure this makes sense)

we then cut to betty, who is trying to confront polly about her newest cult activities, and cheryl, who is trying to confront penelope about how she's managing to build a case for custody of juniper and dagwood despite all the crimes to her own name. polly gets all excited to talk about it, and penelope is like "why, the second King, of course," and then the two of them go into Giants in the Sky, skipping the second verse. we get a classic Lili Reinhart Baffled And Judgmental Face. while the song is going, we cut to toni- while cheryl has been distracting penelope, toni's gone to snoop one more time, and this time she manages to find some incriminating evidence. as the song ends, we don't see what she's managed to find, just the terrified look on her face, and then we cut to commercial.

the next scene opens on veronica, pissed off about the weird archie situation and unsure what to do, and she finds reggie and suggests they rehearse. the two of them sing Any Moment, and end up kissing at the end, but veronica pulls away. she thought this was what she needed, but it's not right, either- something is still wrong, something she can't explain. she tells reggie as much and then leaves him on the stage, baffled.

veronica texts betty and asks if they can talk; surely, she figures, betty will have some #girlbestfriend advice to offer. betty is gonna tell her about the polly cult situation, but when she arrives they end up first talking about the whole reggie and archie and neither working out thing (A Very Nice Prince) and end up getting closer and closer as they sing (is he everything you've ever wanted?- would i know?- well, i know- etc etc) and it's incredibly Charged. "when you know you cant have what you want, where's the profit in wishing," betty sings, inches from her at this point, and it means a little too much, and something Clicks, and veronica kisses her. AND SCENE!

we cut back to jughead as he enters the bunker, meeting gladys and some serpents we don't know. he's wary and clearly doesn't want any part of this, but agrees as she tells her his plan- she's gonna try to infiltrate the glimmer bean trade with a couple of serpents, enough so she can try to get close to the source and find out what hiram wants from her. he hates the idea, but thinks that hiram's new drug just happening to be this close to his little sister's name feels like enough of a threat that he'll agree to pretty much anything gladys is planning.

he ends up calling archie on the way out of the bunker and asking him to meet up at pop's. he's hoping archie will keep an eye out for jb while he and gladys work on investigating hiram, but when they meet up and he tells him as much (but doesn't mention gladys) archie is like hell no i'm not letting you go up against hiram alone. jughead shrugs and is like they kill me off at the start of act 2 i can go use that time to investigate as long as you get veronica to make sure hiram comes. archie tells him he and ronnie broke up and jughead tells him he's sorry and archie's like don't be, it wasn't working out, and i need him to deliver this in the most Meaningful Way Possible while studiously Not Looking At Jughead. they sit in silence for a minute before jughead's like i should go- and starts to make his way out of the booth & archie catches his wrist and it's Charged. and archie's like. promise me you'll be careful, okay? and jughead gives him one of those Charged Looks you know the ones. before agreeing. and then he leaves and archie sits there for a long time afterwards.

we go to toni, now, rushing to tell cheryl the shit she's found out, but when she gets to her room cheryl isn't there. nanna rose is, though, and when toni asks she tells her she thinks she headed to the basement with penelope. toni runs off, and she's clearly panicking a little, but we still can't see the pictures she's clutched in her hand. instead we cut to gay kevin, introducing Agony while reggie and sweet pea are onstage in their prince garb. as the song starts, reggie starts singing as toni's sprinting through the mazelike halls of thornhill, and it cycles through the rest of the characters and their Problems while the song goes on. toni sings "if i should lose her how shall i regain the heart she has won from me" and then archie joins her on "agony- beyond power of speech-" and then we focus fully on archie and he's holding a flannel we recognize as jughead's while he sings "when the one thing you want is the only thing out of your reach" and well. <3 for the second verse we cut to beronica, who have clearly worked something out, veronica hooking her arms around betty's waist while she brushes her hair. the two sing the ah-ah-ah-ah part together while betty works on a little murder wall about polly's new cult sitch & it's cute. then it's a cut to jughead when we go back to "agony- far more painful than yours" etc etc. we watch him and gladys direct serpents on drug deals, and draw pins on their map, and they're not getting any closer. they cut the bridge for a scene where one of gladys' serpent tells them they've had a breakthrough and there's a demand for a big shipment of glimmer beans for some sort of "festival" and one of the serpents has got in as a runner. and jughead is like "i'll go" and then we're back into Agony Misery Woe (cycling back through everybody) then ending at toni skidding around a corner on "agony- that can cut like a knife-" and finds cheryl perfectly fine chatting with penelope, and she turns and smiles brightly all "whatever is the matter, tt?" and toni rushes to hug her and whispers that she's found something out and they need to get out of there Now. they leave and we linger on penelope smiling serenely #insaneinthehead

jughead calls up veronica to ask her to help him out on the hiram front. she agrees with some trepidation (oh shit does he know i just got with his ex-girlfriend) (he does not). she tells him shes pretty sure hiram's involved but doesn't know where his lab is, he tells her about his plans to deliver a big shipment of glimmer beans, and they plan for her to track the people who supply jughead and see if they can lead her back to the lab; he'll join her after he makes the delivery, and they'll see what they can dig up.

toni meanwhile tells cheryl what she's found: penelope's got pages and pages of rambling notes and spellbooks and such, all seeming to be revolving around breaking curses. it appears this king she's been working with has told her it's possible to break the blossom curse, but because it's a curse on a bloodline, it requires an equal sacrifice: blood for blood. in this case, blossom blood for blossom blood. cheryl is in danger. we cut to commercial.

the night jughead intends to make the delivery rolls around but right after rehearsal archie asks him if he wants to hang out, maybe the two of them and jellybean, since he wants to make sure she's safe. jughead looks insanely guilty but tells him he can't tonight and makes up some excuse about homework. archie is clearly hurt. jughead leaves before he can think about it too much.

backstage, b&v have a similar conversation- betty asks ronnie if she wants to come with her to investigate the mysterious festival polly's attending, and veronica tells her she's investigating a lead about her father's involvement with glimmer beans, so they agree to confer later and head off. kevin, meanwhile, asks josie if she can stay late to work on one of her solos.

Last Midnight starts up with josie singing the hell out of it as everyone starts putting their plans into action (on "told a little lie... broke a little vow" it focuses on jughead still guilty about lying to archie. lol). jughead and veronica meet up, both in disguise, while betty is following polly into the woods (heh) to the festival. we watch as jughead meets with his suppliers, veronica hidden in the bushes, and then heads off into the woods as well; while veronica tails them we arrive at the festival and it's this whole bacchanal affair. people in laurels and such, and there's an apparent king on a dais in the center of the clearing but their face is concealed. jughead arrives and hands off his crate, taking note of the weird creepy cult party but not noticing polly arriving as he turns and leaves to go meet up with veronica. betty, a few steps behind her, only sees a serpent jacket disappearing into the trees. the song ramps up, jughead hopping on his motorcycle and making it to the coordinates veronica has texted him, while betty watches in horror as the king beckons polly towards the dais and turns to open the crates behind him. jughead and veronica sneak into the glimmer bean lab and start taking pictures, until jughead sees something that makes him freeze. it's unmistakably his mom's toledo serpents jacket. the song's nearing its end and we go back to polly, who has knelt and taken the beans the king offers her. betty rushes forward to try to stop her, and the song hits "and the boom-" and polly screams and collapses to the ground. none of the cult members move to help her as betty desperately tries to. we cut to commericaaaal.

when we come back it's the next day and archie is trying and failing to call jughead. we watch another call go unanswered. he gives up and leaves for school.

meanwhile jughead is staring at his hands when gladys walks in. she asks him how the delivery went and he's like "cut the crap, mom. i know you and hiram are working together. why would you lie about jellybean being in danger? that's low even for you" and she starts to protest and he cuts her off and we start No More (which is my favorite song). we cut to cheryl who is also confronting penelope about what the hell she's doing over the instrumental for the baker's father's part, and penelope starts some convoluted explanation, but cheryl goes into her verse (no more curses you can't undo...) and cheryl and jughead sing "no more feelings- time to shut the door- just no more" and walk out at the same time. they cut straight to no more giants waging war after that, and i do think even How Do You Ignore are notes jughead is capable of hitting, so i believe in my heart it wouldn't even sound that terrible. i have faith in it. anyway i think a cheryl and jughead duet to no more would be fun. two ppl who end up so alone so often, ykno. etc. anyway as the song ends cheryl kicks penelope out of the house as she frequently does and jughead gets a text from betty, who wants to meet up with everyone in the bunker. he panics bc he and his mom have been using it as a base of operations and he's of course been hiding that gladys is back in town. whoopsie!

jughead rushes to the bunker but doesn't make it in time- betty is already there, and veronica and archie arrive soon after. betty is like what the hell is this jughead and he tries to deflect but ronnie is like just tell them jughead and betty whirls on her like vee YOU knew? and jughead admits that his mom's back in town and serpents have been trying to infiltrate the glimmer bean trade and etc and archies like jug why didnt you tell me your mom was back in town i could have helped- is that where you went last night? and betty's like my sister almost DIED last night because of glimmer beans and it spirals into, of course, Your Fault. and it is glorious because i just know a riverdale performance of Your Fault would be the most special thing on the planet. obvi <3 big ol blowout. etc etc. betty's mad at veronica because she knew about the festival AND the glimmer beans and didn't think to tell her, archie's mad at jughead for keeping things from him and shutting him out, betty's mad at jughead for pretty much everything but that's just how it is #killhimwitharock et cetera!!!

betty and jughead end up storming out and veronica and archie are left in the bunker where they sit in silence, hurt, for a second before they end up talking about the fact veronica and betty had just gotten together. archie tells her how he feels something for jughead, too. they're friends again. it's nice ^_^ they agree to go talk to the others and head out, archie going off to pop's and veronica heading for elm street.

archie finds jughead because of course he does. it's framed like he was looking for the girl next door instead he found me. veronica finds betty standing in front of her house and it's framed like the pilot too <3 they make up, of course. and they sing No One Is Alone. can you hear me can you hear it can you envision and rotate Core Four No One Is Alone in your head. please imagine it and envision it. because that's the crux of this thing for me. jarchie & beronica doing no one is alone. while they sing archie takes jughead's hand across the table. he lets him. betty & veronica seal the song with a kiss. jarchie don't, not yet, but The Presence Of Jarchie is there and it's stronger than ever.

WE CUT TO OPENING NIIIGHT! core four are backstage and have made up. betty and veronica are holding hands, which everyone notes with interest. archie brushes his shoulder against jughead's and straightens his narrator costume tie. the presence of jarchie flourishes. cheryl and toni are in hushed discussion about whatever penelope could be planning, but are decidedly relieved she's out of the house. reggie and sweet pea are in a dramatic fight with their prop swords while fangs referees. milky white the haunted prop cow gazes from a corner and ethel ties a little bow around her neck. josie is having a ball waving her witch staff around like a microphone & uses it to parry a stray sword that gets too close. gay kevin is frolicking around signing playbills. everyone is having a blast. we get our shots of the lights going up on the final number, and they perform a passionate rendition of Finale: Children Will Listen. RAS is inexplicably there as the mysterious man. there are shots of parents in the audience with wet eyes. polly, recovered, looks at juniper and dagwood and smiles. for some reason even gladys is there, skulking in the back next to a woman who is clearly her girlfriend and also clearly jennifer tilly. the one parent missing is penelope.

and then after the very final "i wish-" the auditorium door slams open and in struts penelope, flanked by some police officers or smthn, and she goes right over to polly and announces that she is no longer fit to be the guardian of juniper and dagwood. everyone begins to protest, but penelope announces she has a witness to polly's unsavory acts, and the doors swing open a second time and in walks the hooded king from the festival. polly is restrained as penelope lifts the twins in her arms and hands one to the king. we cut to the stage and to cheryl and toni's horrified faces in particular.

"it was never me mumsie wanted to sacrifice," cheryl murmurs.

"it was the twins," toni confirms.

the cast, still lined up for their bow, are frozen. we zoom out and the screen goes black and the logo flickers up. CREDITS ROLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL <333333

and that is Riverdale Special Musical Episode: Into The Woods. peace and love!

#THIS WASNT SUPPOSED TO GET AS LONG AS IT DID. IT GOT SO FUCKING LONG. #um. sorry if u read all that. i just had so much fun is the thing! #into the woods is one of my favorite musicals of all time ever #and ronniekins loves sondheim! so! #riverdale #beronica #jarchie #im going 2 sleep now. this was fun

[supercap2319]

The Ginger Serpent

A/N: Archie's a serpent in this one shot.

They were watching Rebel Without a Cause at the Twilight Drive-In. It was the Drive-In’s closing night and almost everyone in town showed up as Y/N, his sister, and Kevin were sitting in the back of Kevin’s truck bed. Blankets all around and some to cover them as they watched, with Cheryl inviting herself in their little group as they watched James Dean on screen.

“That hair.” Kevin smiles.

“That jacket.” Y/N said in between bites of popcorn.

“Jason always adored the Drive-In.” Cheryl said. Kevin looks at Veronica and rolls his eyes. Behind them, the Southside Serpents were laughing and making a ruckus as Kevin snickers as he elbowed Y/N to get his attention to look at them. “Southside trash.”

“They’ve been doing that since the opening credits.” Veronica said.

Kevin turned his head towards them. “Shh!” They all shush hun back and throw cans at him that never reach. They’re still rowdy as Kevin looks at Y/N in defeat. They wouldn’t be quiet. Y/N’s had enough as he stands up and looks at the Serpents, locking eyes with a very good-looking ginger guy. “Hey! You know what happens to a snake when a heavy black boot steps on it? Shut the hell up, or you’ll find out the hard way.”

All around the Drive-In, the people applauded Y/N for finally saying what they were all thinking. Y/N bows like a gentleman. “Thank you.” He sits back down as the ginger eyes him as he smirks. Kevin looks at Y/N in disbelief. “I cannot believe you just threatened a gang-banger.”

“I’ve dealt with worse in the east village. I just hate when people disrespect my cinematic experience. Especially this one. It’s one of my favorites.” Y/N said.

It’s quiet until Veronica shakes the bucket of popcorn. “How about a refill, Hermanito?”

“Yeah, Y/N, how about a refill?” Cheryl smiles sweetly. “Cherry cola, as always.” He rolls his eyes as he gets off the truck bed as everyone scoots over one spot.

Y/N walks up to the concession stand and waits for his turn as he sets the bucket on the counter. “Can I get a refill?” The guy nods his head and takes the bucket as Y/N waits for him to come back. “And some gummy bears and a cherry cola and a regular one. Who am I trying to impress?” The guy gets all the things he’s asked for. “And can you put all this on Cheryl Blossom’s tab?” He nods his head as Y/N scoops up his treats and is about to walk away, when he almost runs into the ginger guy from the Serpents.

“Not so tough now, huh?” He asked Y/N. He’s about 5’11 with red hair and gorgeous brown eyes. He wore blue jeans and a red leather jacket to match his hair. He had a menacing and playful atmosphere around him. Y/N swallowed. “What? Am I supposed to be scared of you or something?”

“You do know what a Southside Serpent is, right?”

“And? You guys are like the watered-down versions of the Outsiders.” Y/N told him. “Now, may I go through, or are we going to have problems?” He tried to push past the taller male boy, but he grabbed his arm. “I have a better idea.” He basically dragged Y/N behind the concession stand towards the fence as he helped Y/N set his stuff down before he glared at Y/N. “You sure gotta smart mouth on ya, don’t ya?” He pushed him against the fence as Y/N looked at him.

“Yeah? And just what are you going to do about it?” Y/N asked him.

The ginger smirked before he leaned down and captured his lips into a kiss as Y/N was shocked as he let the redhead push him against the fence. They were grunting and panting as the taller male slammed Y/N gently against the metal of the fence. Y/N tangled his fingers inside the ginger’s head and messed it up as a small revenge as they broke apart for air. “I should go.”

“Something tells me you don’t want to, do you?” The redhead grins.

“I guess not.” Y/N told him.

“I’m Archie, by the way. Archie Andrews.”

“Y/N Lodge.”

“Lodge? Like Hiram Lodge?” Archie asked.

“Yeah, is that a problem?”

“No. Is this a problem?” He showed him his tattoo of a serpent.

“I won’t tell if you won’t?”

“Deal.”

They kissed again.

#x male reader #male reader insert #male x male #archie andrews #archie andrews x male reader #kj apa #KJ Apa x male reader #riverdale #southside serpents #AU #james dean

[jhsharman]

The prehistory of the Archies

The Memorial Day Special -- a tad more involved than my Christmas and New Years Special.

So in 1963 Archie, Jughead, Moose, and Reggie had a whirlwind rise and fall as the band The Beetles. Though it was only a dream, it re-taught Archie the lesson on the high price of fame that he had learned some years' prior when he dreamt he was a Frankie Avalon clone, and the lesson Jughead learned before that when was Elvis.

Despite that harsh slide, the pull of music and the overwhelming power of Beatle-mania kept him enthralled so he was apparently still tried his hands with the probably sue-able The Beets.

Reggie was headlining his own group in 1966 along along with a shaggy bown haired boy and original Beetle Moose, and though Archie had been a part of Reggie's Rockers, Archie cut out once he was shown some overly aggressive female fan behavior.

But the three -- Reggie, Moose, and shaggy brown hair kid, The were still together as "Reggie's Rocking Rockers" in 1967.

Though at this point Archie had gotten Jughead and Dilton together to form their own not named competing band, a big hit at Harold's Teen Club before inadvertently sabotaging their way to victory at the Battle of the Bands against Reggie's Rocking Rockers. To be sure I am not sure what a rock contest victory judged by Mr. Weatherbee is worth -- The Pinheads were never going to get a fair shake from the Hill Valley judges -- but they considered it something.

1968 and Archie is dabbling with a band with Juggead, but also taking up solo gigs -- not a goid sign for nascent band dynamics.

Reggie's Rockers imploded, leaving him to a bitter anguish and jealousy --

Yet, Reggie ended up in the band -- replacing the rotating third and sometimes fourth anonymous members. They were not yet able to settle on a name, but Archie's Archers was the clear favorite. And even as they were always on the hunt for the big chance, working any available connections -- most obviously Mr. Lodge --

which was an exercise in desperate stubbornness --

They got themselves one record executive hearing at least, and one clear rejection --

and had to have been getting the sense of their greenness and limitations --

And pulling their way out of a bad Beatles imitation, Archie spearheaded an era of experiments -- experimental nature, bringing in unusual instruments for rock as they sought to find their own more industrial sound.

Indeed, even after finally settling on their permanent name of The Archies, and despite a lot of aural dead ends, Archie's musical experimentation continued.

Needing a fuller sound, perhaps with Reggie's familiarity from when be was a part of his bands, they brought Moose in for a couple tries in 1967 and 1968

But it did not last. And while initially showing a decided bias against female rock musicians --

-- with the Gallant Gals appearance in the Riverdale Music scene possibly inspiring Veronica to form her own group --

-- Veronica and The Groovers quickly evolving into the more stream-lined set The Veronicas -- made up of Veronica, Betty, and a never set third member --

-- and despite Reggie's snide comments on and low regard for The Veronicas, as too the opinions expressed by members of that group toward the music of The Archies --

The Archies soon found the need for a female vocalist, and so poached Betty out of the band -- spelling the end for The Veronicas.

The record is a little hazy on how Veronica ended up in the band. But once there it was set -- the three member Archies expanded to five members. Except for some instances where for plot purposes when they needed to jettison Jughead or Reggie. As too a hefty backlog of stories written when there were three members. Otherwise --

As with the dynamics of any band, Creative Differences and fights reared their head behind the scenes. But this too marks for creative energy.

After much struggle, and missing a shot to get on Johnny Carson -- the band was able to once more lean on Mr. Lodge's connections -- wearing him down through incessant pleading -- to get a hearing with Don Kirshner ...

And from there it went. To the top of the charts in 1969. Where Archie and his group would learn again the high price of fame, as sitting at the top of the Riverdale Music scene they found that rival musical acts would stop at nothing to elbow their way past them. Freek and Weirdo. B.G. and the Scurvys. The Three Tones. Joker's Wild. Cabaret singer Jezebel. Ruthless in their jostling against their prime competition.

Not to mention having their eyes open and naivete shattered when experiencing the deeds of their unscrupulous business associates.

As for the cast-aways of earlier formations of the band, Dilton and Moose and a shaggy haired kid had an unsuccessful band named The Diltons.

And though Moose was not able to deal with the rejection and quickly dropped out of the music business, Dillton kept at it -- through a couple failures

moved on through his scientific theory and approach in engineering music,

until after much fine-tuning, he finally hit gold, and was able to hire some musicians to fill out a successful prog rock project.

No clue on what became of the third member of the group, or of the various members of Archie, Reggie, and Veronica's earlier band attempts.

#Archie Comics #The Archies #Archie Andrews #Betty Cooper #Veronica Lodge #Jughead #Reggie Mantle #The Veronicas #Moose Mason #Archie's Archers #Reggie's Rockers #Samm Schwartz #Bob Montana #Dan Decarlo #Bill Vigoda #Al Hartley #Harry Lucey #Bob Bolling #Stan Golberg #Dan Decarlo Jr #1963 #1966 #1967 #1969 #1968 #1970 #1971 #1982 #2002 #Rex W Lindsey

[imhereformr]

Winx S2 E15 The Show Must Go On!

Here we gooooooooo 😁😁❤️❤️❤️

I love that this episode starts with Musa talking to her mom 🥺🥺🥺

Aaaand immediately cuts to the trix

Fairy stormy is giving Christian girl autumn

Brandon you have a beautiful girlfriend to cheer for you. And she's very loud, so you'll hear her for sure. You don't need to be asking other women.

Mirta as Aisha's back up dancer. So cute.

Riven in the audience being cranky 😂

Okay seriously Alfea needs to amp up its security. Stormy in disguise just walked in and NO ONE is wondering who the fuck she is?

Did Stormy just call Musa's dad daddykins? Who does she think she is, Veronica Lodge?

When did her dad meet Riven? What?

Everybody says so? Did her dad just go around and ask people about this random teenage boy?

"couldn't you have picked a prince?" Is he suggesting his daughter be a gold digger 💀

"Where do you think all that dancing will get you when you're 30 or 40 years old?" Someone introduce this man to Beyonce or Madonna.

Wait didn't Musa say she couldn't dance like 3 episodes ago?

Why is Dufour playing the piano for Musa's mom?

Love that baby Musa is rocking the pigtails too

This show really just glossed over the trauma of watching her dad destroy every instrument in the house. Okay then.

I still can't believe Stella let her onto the stage in that goddamn crime of an outfit

Was Stella always this clumsy? 😅

Betcha Stella is loving this dance that requires Brandon to be shirtless.

I know the competition thing is part of Brella's relationship, but I hate that they made Brandon seem like a complete douche in this episode. Like he's on stage trying to find some random babe in the audience when his beautiful girlfriend is backstage 🙄

Love Stella trying to keep Musa together before she goes on stage 🥹

Riven smiling just for her 🥰🥹😭😭

I know that her friends are being supportive and whatnot but why did it pan to a shot of them dancing to her sad, slow song 😅

Oh and now they're crying

Okay but fuck the audience reaction, show me Riven!!!

Stella being concerned that Musa's losing her mind when she asks the audience to sing with her 💀

RIVEN COMING TO HELP HIS GIRL 😍😍😍😍😍

Stormy just floating away like a deflated balloon 💀

Riven coming to help her dad 🥹

Okay but we were robbed of Musa reacting to Riven helping her out and thanking him for it. It's criminal.

#winx club #winx #winx musa #winx riven #winx mirta #Winx Aisha #winx stormy #winx stella #winx brandon #alex watches winx

[ao3feed--bughead]

Long Reach Collection

read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/49587442 by Dragonnfire One-shot collection featuring Bughead. Varchie and Choni on the side with copious amounts of Serpent found family. Words: 9893, Chapters: 3/?, Language: English Fandoms: Riverdale (TV 2017) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: F/M Characters: Jughead Jones, Betty Cooper, Archie Andrews, Veronica Lodge, Cheryl Blossom, Toni Topaz Relationships: Betty Cooper/Jughead Jones Additional Tags: One Shot Collection, choni, varchie, bughead - Freeform, Southside Serpent Jughead Jones, Southside Serpent Betty Cooper, Southside Serpent Leader Jughead Jones, Mentioned Southside Serpents Gang, Fluff, Humor, Romance, Drama, Found Family, mentioned smut, Protective Sweet Pea (Riverdale), Stonewall Prep (Riverdale), Riverdale Bulldogs - Freeform, Jughead Jones Loves Betty Cooper, Protective Serpents, Serpent Queen Betty Cooper, Serpent King Jughead Jones, B & V capers, Archie Andrews Being an Idiot, Cheryl is a bitch but she's our bitch, Reggie mantle being an asshole but we love him anyway read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/49587442

#ao3feed #fanfic #bughead #bughead fanfiction #riverdale fanfiction #jughead x betty #betty x jughead

[riverdale-retread]

Riverdale S7 E 18 (Chapter 135) For a Better Tomorrow!

Jughead Jones is definitely established as a weird weirdo in this universe, yes, but the way he is doing his relationship with Veronica Lodge is very funny.  He says, as a boy person at his indisputable sexual peak, that one of the “distinct advantages” of dating a movie theater owner (the very sexy teen witch cosplayer Veronica Lodge) is being able to score free movie tickets for his friends.  On the one hand, Jughead is a true one, because despite getting a cool girlfriend he just hangs out with all his old dorky friends - I like this. On the other hand, how in the heck is getting to make out with THE Veronica Lodge one of the UNDIFFERENTIATED OR INDEFINITE advantages in life?  Que???

The makers of this show are doing the most, I suppose, in order to check all the possible boxes for what Jughead Jones’ sexuality could be.  We had the yearning homosexual Jughead (Jarchie - not canon), the clueless lesbian coded Jughead (with Bret Weston Wallis), monogamous romantic prince (Bughead), slutty famewhore who sleeps with his groupies, toxic failboyfriend (with the evil drug dealer girlfriend).    We now get Wide Eyed 50s Teen Boyfriend Jughead in the Jeronica relationship, but also asexual Jughead who has no reaction whatsoever to two people sloppily making out next to him as he happily tosses popcorn down his throat, bracketing the central Ethel and Ben couple with the Emasculated-By-Racism- Big-Dick Dilton on either side.  All FOUR of them are the only people not making out at this movie theater for this screening.

Ethel.  Ethel! If you want to get action you can’t be taking TWO hangers on with you to the movies!?

In any case I’m glad to see that Veronica’s movie theater  business is doing very well despite the immense number of movie tickets she seems intent on giving away for free. Is this like a Helena Rubinstein/Estee Lauder way of doing business, where you give away product in order to keep customers?  But isn’t she the only theater in town?  Veronica Lodge is an improbable creature - an ethical monopolist??

Jughead and Ethel are happily chatting, smiling about the movie they just watched.  As Jughead says they’re about to walk into their very own “science fiction tinged B-movie.” The screen goes to black and white.  The B&W episode referencing Chinatown was great, so I have high hopes for this one.

Segment One!  Jughead Jones In The Mysterious Melting Man!

A man walks towards Jughead as bits of skin boil painfully off of his body and face.  Jughead seems to have the most curious frozen response to this. He doesn’t scream, he doesn’t try to get away and he doesn’t even look particularly upset, to be honest. He just looks merely interested.   He also doesn’t do anything to rush to that man’s aid.  But then again, if confronted with such a sight I’m not sure what I would do either. 

The horrendous police force consisting of the extremely incompetent Sheriff Keller shoots this man from behind, but actually he’s aiming his gun IN THE DIRECTION of a crowd of theater goers that have just left the cinema.  The Americans of this time (or maybe now) are so desensitized to gun violence that they don’t seem to clock that a) cops or anyone do not have a supremely high marksmakship rate especially of a moving target and b) the gun was pointed directly at each of them during this entire time.  They just watch a man get gunned down by cops on a Saturday evening right in front of them in the open town square and don’t scream or blink or duct.  They just look a bit inconvenienced.  

Keller claims later that the man was a) a vagrant (who can be shot on sight apparently) and b) suffering from leprosy which is why he looked like that.  Except, Jughead supplies immediately, that Ethel recognizes what the man was wearing because it’s the uniform of the Blossom maple factory. 

Jughead decides that all this is bullshit so he takes it upon himself to hunt down the answers.

DOCTOR CURDLE JUNIOR IS BAAAACK !

HI MY FAVORITE LITTLE TALL GIANT MAN!!

So, Dr. Curdle (not Jr!) is all about gruesome comics, which Jughead still has copies of when he nicked them from his employer, and is now dealing like they’re some sort of hard street drug.  

“Worthy of a quid. Pro. Quo.” God I love the way Dr. Curdle talks. 

Jughead responds, “keen-o!”  Which I quite like. I tend to say Okedoke in an effort to not be offensively autistic when people give me unnecessary boring bits of information at work, and I think I might add “keen-O” to my roster.  Jughead wants to know about the “mysterious melting man.”  He didn’t actually have to say all three words, but he was very happy to be alliterative so he couldn’t pass that up. 

The answer is “acute radiation poisoning!”

Sadly, Curdle didn’t get to have a lot of time with the body, but it was Mayor Blossom who came to collect the body. Curdle confirms that the man was in fact an employee of the maple factory.  “That stinks like a rotten fish!”

Bright and early the next day, Betty bounces down the stairs to ask if Ethel wants to go to school with her.  Hal suggests that Betty permit Alice to drive them both, but Betty is firm in her rejection.    The cold war between mother and daughter post-slap seems to be something that is giving Hal indigestion.  Further, Betty apparently will just not eat breakfast unless her mother will make it for her, and then to up the ante it seems as though Alice is still making breakfast for everyone in the household who isn’t Betty - inclusive of Ethel.  It’s getting very complicated.  Anyway, Alice tells Hal that at some point the weather will be terrible because they’re in upstate New York that isn’t America, and Betty will “finally let me give her a ride.”  Betty remains just as pleasant in her hatefulness when she informs Alice that she will not ever be needing that ride from her mother because she’s taking Driver’s Ed at school and pretty soon she will be able to drive herself wherever she wants!

This is Segment 2:  BETTY COOPER IN DRIVER’S EDUCATION!

We’re suddenly in black and white again. 

Oops except we’re not. 

We’re in the Andrews’ kitchen as Frank smugly informs Reggie that he got into a really great basketball camp.  He’s being very nasty to Mary’s son right in front of Mary first thing in the morning, sneering at him about how there is no camp for poetry, and so Archie is without a fun set of summer plans to look forward to.  His sneering is very heavy handed.  He even calls Archie ‘Shakespeare’ in the most condescending tone of voice. It brings out the CAN YOU SPELL IT in me.

Segment 3 is going to be ARCHIE ANDREWS IN SHIPPING OUT!

Everything is in black and white again.  Mary is for once not being completely useless, which I can’t tell if it happened in the technicolor real-life of this season or is possible because it’s not real, just the B Movie version, because I don’t know yet what these black and white transitions mean.  Mary as I say isnt completely useless, only merely mostly useless.  She says that Archie can pick up a summer shift or two at Pop’s or come help his mother out at the dress shop. 

Frank doesn’t even respect Mary enough to look at her as he sneers about HER BUSINESS which is what he must have been LIVING OFF OF when he first moved to Riverdale with no job. What the fuck, Frank.  He brings all his patented boring ass toxic masculinity to the fore - oooh yer gonna be workin’ at your mom’s *dress* shoppe~~  I mean. You get to interact with all the pretty girls in their super tight body-con dresses at the dress shop.  What’s your problem?

Archie looks angry as he stomps off.

We switch to the Blossom household, where Julian is willing to give Cheryl a ride to school. He’s a dickhead though, because she’s walking RIGHT NEXT to him, clearly ready to go, and he’s still gotta voice the threat about how his “train is leaving with or without you.”  Hon, your schlong isn’t that big.  

On a brighter note, I do like how much white Cheryl has been wearing with her red ensembles.  I love the cherries on her shirt.  They both see a military someone salute their father. They smirk at each other about his ridiculous it is to see someone give Clifford Blossom a salute of any kind.  Julian wants to know if he’s enlisting.  Clifford hates both his children equally, apparently, because he calls them “asinine” and then says that this was a General Taylor from Washington who was “delivering unto me a gift.”  Then he brings them into his study to show them a cock-less Baphomet, whom he calls Moloch.  Seriously. Moloch is not hiding anything under that skirt. He has Barbie Genitals, you know he has.  Anyway, Clifford makes ridiculous statements about how this ancient deity can only be appeased by child sacrifice, and tells his very physically mature children that they should be frightened, implying he’d kill either or both of them “should you be inclined to give me any more grief.”

A pompous father who can’t take any sort of joke about himself so that he always responds to anything that isn’t flattery and obsequiousness with threats of violence?   Oh hey that was on my Riverdale is my life Bingo!

This is Segment Four!  CHERYL BLOSSOM IN PROJECT MOLOCH!

At school, Jughead approaches Ethel in the black and white world.  Jughead asks if Ethel’s father ever got sick.  She says he was a janitor at the maple factory, who had joint pain, stomach pain, and hair loss, all in a chronic way.  Far away, Dilton hears this list of symptoms. He looks very disturbed immediately.  Jughead thinks that the Blossoms are hiding something, because Ethel’s dad, the melting man and Brad Rayberry all being former workers at the maple factory dying very strange deaths is not a coincidence.  He wants to get everyone closure about what happened.  

Ethel shakes her head.  She wants to move on with her life.  She’s going to get her driver’s license, she is about to get the car from her Miss Teen Queen win (it’s still not clear to me if the prizes were OR or AND but I hope it was AND so she can get the car AND the scholarship AND the screen test).  She tells Jughead that she is also going steady with Ben, to which Jughead says “our Ben?” and doesn’t believe her.  He turns around to stare at Ben.

Why is this surprising to Jughead in a world where he’s going steady with Veronica Lodge EVEN AFTER the milk screeching incident and all the other weirdnesses of before?  

Ethel is trying not to be annoyed at this reaction of Jughead, so she just sums up, to say she is trying to put the bad events behind her, so he should take of. 

The teacher starts showing them a scary movie about what happens to people in an atomic blast. Some of this looks like it’s real period product.  All the students are freaking out together in the lounge  about the atomic explosion.  

Jughead is seated holding court at the big armchair, which is really weird because why is Cheryl permitting this?  That used to be HER seat?  

Oh because this is the B&W B movie universe of Jughead Jones in The Mysterious Melting Man.  Veronica is wearing her not great napkin=bikini ribbon floof dress again, perched like a good little housewife on the arm of the chair that Jughead is sitting in like a king which -=VERONICA WOULD NOT.  Behind them, in a weird echo, are Ben and Ethel,  leaning their butts against a table as they stand. 

Jughead states the obvious, that “in truth, most of us wouldn’t likely survive an atomic explosion.”

Archie has never heard of Japan, Nagasaki or Hiroshima. He did not understand that the atomic bomb would kill him. He wants Jughead to spell it out.  Veronica says that there is an underground CITY levels of basements at the Pembroke.  She invites Juggykins to come with her.  Jughead doesn’t seem to feel any better, but Cheryl is outright disgusted at this display of heterosexuality from Veronica Lodge.  The thing is, she also has a place to go in case the bomb hits - she thinks.  She’s going to go to the mines which have “stood strong since before the Revolutionary War.”  

I can’t remember anything anymore but wan’t there a caving in of those very same mines in S6, some half century after this conversation, in the other universe?  It doesn’t immediately occur to her to invite Toni, so Toni prompts her. (Oh and I forgot they are not out).

Reggie is going to go to Duck Creek to climb into the mines.   Archie is going to drive all the way to California (he’s very California fixated in this universe) while trusting that the Rockies will serve as a general kind of radiation shelter.  Ethel says wistfully that out west does sound nice, to which Ben agrees.

I don’t think any of the characters, nor the people making this, realize how very funny this is.  This is the most ridiculous display of  the American delusions of both exceptionalism and extreme individualism.  When something bad happens, they refuse to imagine a possibility that they will come up with a community solution because they don’t want to include certain people in that community (be it Catholics, Protestants, Mormons, Italians, Swedes, Germans, Asians of any stripe, or black people etc etc).  People coexist in America, apparently but they don’t live together.  This is funny especially because in Korea everyone assumes that if we get nuked by the evil fat boy up North (each generation has gotten one of its own for three generations) we all die, and then those that don’t die will have to suffer and rebuild, because we had something akin to a nuke level disaster happen in 1950 and that’s what we did.  We don’t coexist very well among ourselves (the viciousness of our press makes Fox vs CNN battles look trifling) but we do actually live together. 

The heartlessness of these announcements by these people in front of their friends, and the extremely calm, almost non-reactive responses to the heartlessness makes everybody sound psychotic.  They all say, more or less, I hope I don’t die, and I don’t care about what happens to any of you.

The surreal Americanness of this matches the cop pointing his gun in the general direction of children in the hopes of hitting the one person he wants to shoot dead in the street.

Anyway, Clay gets especially annoyed at Archie wanting to drive away from the imaginary nuke.  The fact that those who have means are only creating solitary survival plans doesn’t bother him at all, even though those plans seem just as silly to me as driving away from a bomb. 

Kevin takes the conversation to surreal heights by saying that the inside of a refrigerator is going to be a good bet to not die in a nuclear blast. Immediately, Toni and then Betty point out how dumb this is.   (“What would you do about food and water?”)  Kevin though has a funny enough answer that lightens the mood - “I’d be inside a refrigerator.”  

Fangs actually saves the day (what the heck?) by saying he doesn’t want to plan to hide from anything.  Clay mentions that there are communities in Nevada that have built nuclear bomb shelters, a “lead lined bunker,” in case of a nuclear war.  Betty tries to see if the small town she so wanted to burn to the ground last episode might have some redeeming qualities after all: Maybe it’s too insignificant to be the target of a bomb like that.   Jughead thinks that “an atomic drop could drop anywhere, even here, in Riverdale.”

Well yeah.

Later on, the gay boyfriends are trying to tie a sailor’s knot.   Because Frank was so heterosexually ugly to him that morning, Archie is wanting to hang out with the gays.  He shows them how to tie the knot, saying all this stuff about a rabbit and a tree and a hole.  Archie asks them why they want to tie knots, after he drops his competent one on the table.  They say that they want to join the Merchant Marines, which is not part of the US Navy but is instead a civilian job, where you are on merchant boats I guess and “travel around the world.”  Clay starts to recruit Archie to the Merchant Marines.

OK so Clay has a thing about white boys, I guess?  He spent a lot of the past couple episodes trying to ease Archie into the idea that fucking men didn’t mean you had to stop wanting to fuck women, for one, and also that fucking around in general is really great for writing material.  I am not at all sure about that but OK.  He drops the names Ginsberg and Kerouac as having both “done time on the Seven Seas.”   Too bad he doesn’t know Archie likes to jump into the (ahem) deep end so he lost his virginity on the same night that he also had a threesome and prostituted a woman plus he developed a taste for middle aged woman. 

Archie is very susceptible to specific, easy to understand suggestions, and is like this in every universe.  Recruiting pamphlets are designed for people like Archie Andrews to get themselves into trouble.  His priorities are first, to get away from Uncle fucking Frank, second, See The World, third, Have Adventures, fourth, enrich his writing, and uh finally, tie a lot of knots.  The recruiter is coming tomorrow.

Grundy is the driver’s ed teacher.  For some reason the driver’s ed class is fully gender segregated.  Why is this? Is this something to do with the laws?  I really like the cool desktop dashboard these girls all have. I want one of these just to have it.  They’re going to practice parallel parking tomorrow!  Grundy seems like a good teacher. 

At dinner, the three men including Frank are eating the food that I assume that Mary cooked. She is trying to make conversation within the very surreal seating arrangement.  She and Uncle Fucking Frank sit across from each other like they’re a married couple, with Reggie and Archie occupying the sides.  She wants to know if anything interesting happened at school.  Reggie  tells her that they were shown a video of what happens if you get nuked.  ARchie says he wants to join the merchant marines.  She wants him to finish high school. She also wants him to go to college. 

Frank is still on his Must Make Archie Stop Writing Grief Poetry About His Father bender, so he says that the merchant marines might be better than going to college to learn poetry writing like some sort of man who  has sex with other men. He doesn’t say this last part, of course.  Reggie searches Archie for his reaction.  Archie though does have a spine.  He tells Frank directly that he is considering going out to see expressly so he can pursue his poetry better.  He even name drops The Beats.  Then he actually takes a jab:

YOU WOULD KNOW THAT IF YOU EVER CRACKED OPEN A BOOK.

Well OKAY Archie Andrews!  Unleash that bitchiness!  Feeling bitchy makes you smarter! Embrace it!

Frank is not amused at having the tables turned on him, and yet again, Mary is not as useless as she used to be (but this is a fiction within a fiction, because in-universe actual Mary really is quite useless - case in point, FRANK STILL LIVES THERE).  Mary interrupts what’s clearly an attack that Frank is scrambling to put together against her son by saying, “No one is joining anything tonight.”

Meanwhile, Dilton has come to visit Jughead.  “You don’t have to worry Jughead.  [blah blah] If anything bad were to actually happen I’d take care of you. You’d be safe.”

This is as clear a declaration of love as I’ve ever heard anyone make in Riverdale short of Jughead’s I Love You Betty Cooper all the way back in Season 1.  But Jughead, in the same way that he did not pick up that he should date Ethel Muggs, doesn’t understand what Dilton is saying as a love confession.  Poor Dilton. 

Instead, Jughead wants to know what the hell Dilton means by “keep him safe.” 

Dilton takes Jughead Jones to THE BUNKER!

Hi Bunker, my old friend!

Jughead sounds like James Stewart from Mr. Smith Goes To Washington as he exclaims, “How does your family have a bunker!?!”  He sounds like he should be married to Katherine Hepburn in a movie.  He sounds like this a lot this season and I thoroughly enjoy it.  The tribute to Stars of Old is at the level of Josie McCoy being rendered an Eartha Kitt tribute character last episode, but much more subtle  and baked into the general character portrayal for this season. 

Anyway, Dilton is very proud of his dad. He grins like a little kid, excited because Jughead is excited, as he tells him that “we’re deep enough to survive an atomic blast, and any radiation after the blast.”

Jughead wants to know why the science teacher built this at all.  “What does your dad know that we don’t?” 

Dilton starts to unpack all the secrets, literally from his bag.  He hands a little chunk of palladium to Jughead from his knapsack, saying Mr. Muggs came to get this assessed by the elder Doiley saying that Clifford Blossom was doing something with palladium.  “Worth killing for?” asks Jughead.

Apparently, in its purest state, palladium could be “more volatile than plutonium,.... and more destructive than a hydrogen bomb.” 

Palladium is a highly useful narrative tool, that’s for sure. 

Jughead says reminds him of something, and then he is madly digging through his collection of comics.  Jughead seems to have a photographic memory of every comic he’s ever read. Not sure this talent will ever get him any money, but it is a talent.  The story he was thinking of was written by Rayberry, called The Palladium Incident!  “Had he seen or heard something while he worked there??

We cut to the science teacher bursting in to make the announcement, in a hysterical scream of unhelpfulness, about “This is the big one.”  In response, all the children in the class start freaking out too.  The only one with a slow response time is Jughead Jones.  Everyone else is hollering, on their feet, moving around, flapping their arms.  Jughead acts like he’s sleep walking.  Cheryl is the one that goes running to get him to some sort of safety. She is shouting at him to “Get away from the!!!” as he walks, fascinated, to the window which is getting brighter and brighter.  As the bomb explodes, Jughead still has this very ‘interested’ look on his face from when he was looking at the melting man get shot in the street.

This turns out to be a nightmare of Cheryl’s.  She had a dream about trying to save Jughead Jones when the bomb hit. I’m very moved, actually.  She curses his name before she goes to fetch herself some water.

On her way back to her room, she hears her parents having a discussion. IN RUSSIAN.  Clifford says that things are in readiness (apparently -  I really have no idea, and I have my suspicions about American/Canadian actors’ capacity to speak passable Russian) to which Penelope says that it’s unfortunate what happened to the man, but Clifford is fine with the state of Project Moloch.  Then they are going to return to the motherland.

Cheryl Blossom speaks … Russian?  She is understanding this? Clifford apparently has been promised something by the Soviets.  Penelope is a Russian spy!  Cheryl runs away.

At the recruitment presentation by the Merchant Marines, Archie wants to know if he gets to explore the places they can visit.  The answer he gets is very unkind - “This isn’t a pleasure cruise” plus “no one here is guaranteed a spot.”  Well, ok sir, but I thought the point of your visit was to RECRUIT.

In the hallway, Jughead is approaching Cheryl.  He actually does a little sing-songy “Hi Ho~~” which is very cute and again for some reason reminds me of Jimmy Stewart though I’m sure he’s never done that.  Who knows.  Cheryl is very annoyed to be approached by Jughead, which is not improved when he opens bluntly with this question:  Has anything weird been happening at your house lately?

He really doesn’t know what a can of worms he’s opened.   Cheryl is making a face at him like, oh you sweet clueless child, you have no idea what you’re about to unleash. What she says is, “Why do you care?”   Jughead says that he’s interested in the location of the mines she mentioned yesterday vis a vis the maple factor.  Cheryl confirms that the factory is built right on top of the mines.  Jughead says, going straight to the point, “I think you father is up to no good,” and then without even taking a break to let that settle in her mind he jumps right to accusation: “I think he is involved in the Milkman murders.”  Then he adds  the mines are palladium mines, plus not abandoned. 

This is a method that Jughead is pretty consistent about throughout the seasons - he gets a set of facts, intuits something, gets a clue or a hint that he might be on the right track, and then goes directly to the source to launch accusations.  The thing is, it WORKS this time because he went to Cheryl and not to Clifford Blossom, and even if she doesn’t like Jeronica, Cheryl definitely wouldn’t let Jughead just die if she could do something about it.   

As a sort of unintended test, perhaps, Cheryl brings up that she thinks her father might sacrifice her to the pagan god Moloch.  Jughead blinks about it but he doesn’t laugh or run away or attack her, so he passes this test.

As a result, Cheryl feels free to tell him forthwith (they’re being very forthright with each other here, which is great) that her parents were speaking in Russian with each other (she didn’t understand what they said, though, alas).  Jughead, having found a kindred spirit in an unexpected place, immediately asks her to “get in there and play gumshoe.”   At the thought of finding “something incriminating” against her parents, Cheryl looks bright eyed, bushy tailed, and inspired. She’s never looked at Jughead like that, ever. 

OUtside, in the parking lot, suspenseful music plays as the girls are gearing up for their first parallel parking lesson. The performance anxiety  of doing this in front of like A DOZEN PEOPLE is horrifying to me, but Ethel does a wonderful job.  They all passed the written and practical portions of the test!   Grundy is going to be taking all of them to the DMV to get their licenses!  She says that they must bring their birth certificates, because the DMV “needs to make sure none of you are Russian spies.”  She says it in a way that makes it clear she thinks it’s silly, but Ethel suddenly looks sad.  Oh dear. Does she not own a single valid form of ID??

Archie is working out using a rigged up rowing machine in the garage.  Uncle Fucking Frank of course has to investigate. I feel like there’s something off kilter about the way Frank keeps such close tabs on Archie. It’s most like Archie is a girl whose virginity is supposed to be safeguarded.   Apparently everyone rows at least an hour a day to stay in shape, so Archie is trying to get a head start.  

Frank has the temerity to give Archie  a man to man, I Know I’m Not Your Real Dad speech, unprompted.  Against all available evidence, Frank claims that he wants “what is best” for Archie, and that what he wants is “same as” what Fred would want. I was very worried for a second that he was going to sexually molest Archie, because this sounds like a sexual molestation set up.  But it isn’t.  Instead he gives Fred’s dog tags to Archie.  Then he tries to get Archie to enlist in the army.  

Fred apparently wasn’t drafted. He volunteered for the army.  This is supposed to make Archie feel better? I mean it makes ME like Fred a lot, because it’s MY democracy and MY freedom that people like Fred suffered and died so far from home, but I don’t see how Archie, who is so terribly wounded about his father’s death is supposed to feel better.  Also why oh why does Frank want Archie to die so badly, like WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM?   “Drop this poetry nonsense and join the army!”  Turning that spooky sexual maniac look on Archie again from before (it’s the same face he made calling Betty a ripe peach - vomit, phlegm, poop, bile, all the vileness, FIE) he says that “the best part about joining the Army” is that he “doesn’t have to wait until graduation.”

I mean. OK so in th 1950s Americans weren’t all having to earn PhDs in order to get entry level jobs like they have had to recently, but this still strikes me as absolute shit advice, AND going expressly against Mary’s clearly stated wishes.  

Meanwhile, Cheryl is exploring her house using a three color candelabra at the dead of night. She is so dramatic omg I love her.  “Let’s see what you’re hiding, daddy,” she mutters to herself in an empty room like a totally sane girl.   She finds a hardhat in his desk with a lamp attached to the forehead portion. The candles react to a draft she wasn’t expecting to exist in this room, so she pursues the source of the airflow and finds a SECRET PASSAGE hidden behind a portrait!  

Oh my gosh I love Thornhill so much.

This hidden compartment reveals A DOZEN milkman costumes!!! Complete with full pristine sets of glass milk bottles!!!  Ooooh!

The next morning, Archie is being haunted by his dad’s dog tags which make his world tilt at a weird angle.  He wears the dog tags to breakfast, freaking Mary out. She’s innocently asking about how  many waffles he wants, but her world is about to implode. She wants to know why Frank gave those to Archie.

At the same time, Ethel wants to talk to Betty. She doesn’t have her birth certificate because it’s somewhere in her house.  Betty is so kind to Ethel, immediately offering to go get it for Ethel.  The document is probably inside Ethel’s mother’s crafting desk, which held all her important papers. 

At school, Cheryl sees Jughead coming towards her, so she grabs him firmly by the lapel to drag the physically head-and-half taller boy forcibly into the music room.  This is. uh. This is very hot to me even though I know Cheryl is a gold star lesbian in her heart.   Anyway this is a first time experience for Jughead, being grabbed and tossed by a girl. I bet he didn’t know that cheerleaders have good upper body strength and powerful grips. 

Immediately after, Jughead gets to have another new experience:  A person with no reason to be particularly nice or supportive of him telling him that You Were Right. He’s so flummoxed by this reaction that he seeks reconfirmation:  “About which part?”  The answer is ‘Everything!”

She brought one of the giant milk bottles in her purse, which did not look like it could fit something that big.  

Jughead has been saying an interesting series of oaths this episode (“Holy crapola!” in response to the bunker, “Holy Moley” about something else I forget) so he busts out Holy Toledo at the news that Cheryl’s father has sets of milk bottles and the uniforms that go with the milk bottles hidden in his study.   He concludes, “The Milkman must have been working for your father! Doing his bidding!”

And because he’s a sweetheart who reads a lot of scary fiction, Jughead immediately asks Cheryl, “Are you in danger?” to which Cheryl has the coolest like, pretty girl working as an agent of the Resistance during Vichy type answer, which is “No more than usual.”  She does look extremely worried.   Cheryl had an extremely busy night of investigating, because she is also able to confirm that the  mines a) do produce palladium and b) are not abandoned.  She demands that Jughead bring his camera to her family estate that very night. She further instructs that he “pray an atomic disaster doesn’t befall us all before then!” before she takes off.

Betty walks into the abandoned murder house to try to do a nice thing for Ethel Muggs. She’s very brave. I would not be able to do this.  She’s shifting through the desk, and finds a lockbox.  She opens it with her hairpin!  Her skirt pattern is very pretty.  She finds what look like a series of receipts - that Hal Cooper was paying the Muggs for.  And then she finds a photo of Hal Cooper HOLDING A BABY.  What?  What??

At dinner that night at the Andrews house, Mary has some things to say.  She informs Frank that Archie has told her about the whole thing with the dog tags. “You used his father … to try to manipulate my son into joining the army. How dare you Frank? Especially when you yourself never served.”

Frank tries to speak homophobia code to Mary:  “It’ll set him straight!” he says.

Mary however is too obtuse to pick up on it. She still thinks this is about Archie writing poetry.   She finally - FINALLLYYYYY - lays down the law.  That Archie can make whatever choices he wants with his life after he graduates high school.  That is non negotiable for Mary, this high school graduation.  Archie indicates with a nod that he gets the message. 

Then she says that she “can’t have Frank here anymore. It’s time for you to move out.”

You mean to say that she had the power all this time, to kick Frank out, and DID NOT? 

Then her sexist homophobic brother in law and her clueless sexist son have a dick measuring contest IN FRONT OF HER about who is going to be the man of the house.  Frank is an underhanded piece of shit too, reminding her that she’s the one who invited him to Riverdale to ‘help.’  (So really, Mary is doubly guilty, first for inviting him, and second for letting him punish Archie for existing like that).  Mary reminds them both that she’s the one who pays for the  mortgage which.. again… HOW? She doesn’t have a bank account, right? Or did she inherit Fred’s when he died?

Looking suddenly at peace, Frank says that he’s going to “shack up with my old pal Tom Keller.”  He makes a deeply inappropriate comparison between himself and Keller - Keller is being divorced by his wife of almost twenty years with whom he has a son.  This is not the same relationship that Frank has with Mary!  

Mary doesn’t care what Frank does as long as the “bullying uncle” is out of the house.  Frank was living rent free in this house, yet he was so desperate about Archie’s poetry that he was willing to make him drop out of high school to join the army!

Betty goes home to ask her parents why they were writing checks to the Muggs household.  Mrs Muggs was their housekeeper! is the first lie that Hal tries to tell.  Betty then wants to know who the baby is. It’s Ethel, so Betty has to cross examine her dad.  Hal says that it’s because he’s Ethel’s godfather.   Betty wants to know why she’s never heard of any of this. 

Alice stops Hal from telling any more lies.  

“You’re Ethel’s father, aren’t you?” Betty concludes.

Alice kicks Hal out of the house for a bit so she can share an alcoholic drink with her daughter.  the real story is that Mildred Muggs was their housekeeper before Betty was born. Alice suspected an affair between Mrs. Muggs and Hal which was confirmed when Ethel was born.  The reason they hid all this was because of the TV station.  Everything Alice says after that first thing is a lie - she doesn’t give a fuck about “us, our family.”  She wanted a tv career because Alice has always has had a career obsession. When she says she ‘had no choice’ she means there was no other way for her to have a career on television than to be married to Hal Cooper.   So the arrangement was that the Muggs would raise the girl ‘as their own’ (which she was, she was Mildred’s own) while the Coopers sent money every month for support (from Hal).  

Betty puts it together again.  That this is why Alice took Ethel in, but hated her, humiliated her, had her forcibly imprisoned in the child abuse nunnery and so on.  And that this is why she was on such a rampage about Betty coming to adulthood.  Except Betty doesn’t say that - she concludes that Alice didn’t “want what happened to you to happen to me.” What, your husband a middle class white man predating on a working class woman?  How would having Kevin pin Betty over Archie fix anything?  Kevin is much more likely to have impregnated a lot of women in his life if he’d not been able to actually come out at least to himself by Betty dumping him.  This doesn’t make sense, but then, Betty in S7 is really stupid, and so is her mother so I guess this explanation is enough for both of their levels of intellect.

Alice starts weeping about how she failed as a mother and she’s sorry, but like I said, I don’t believe that motherhood, her daughters with Hal or “doing what was right” was in any way part of Alice’s calculations.  She simply wanted to hold on to having a tv career above dignity, above her own sanity, above her sexual well being.   Betty says that she thinks Alice did the best she could, because Betty is a kind person, but this is categorically wrong. Alice has acted purely out of malice towards Ethel and sexual jealousy for Betty (in that Betty had youth and an unblemished future without any bad compromises spread out ahead of her). 

Betty says that they need to call Hal back home so they can all tell Ethel she is a Cooper.   I hope Ethel axes them all to death in their sleep. 

Meanwhile, Cheryl and Jughead are having their adventure in the dark of night.   Jughead takes a hugely flashing photo of the night guard at the mines, who is watching Oh Mija.  Then they sneak past him to the mines.  The cooperative bickering-affirming dynamic they have between them is truly great.  When Jughead wants to know why there aren’t more guards, Cheryl points out that secret projects should maybe not call “undue attention” upon themselves, which Jughead concedes immediately is a good point.  

Jughead even gets the mojo back to narrate for a bit, as he says that while Cheryl and he were on the verge of a major discovery, Ethel was “experiencing emotional shockwaves about learning the truth about her life.”

Ethel says that she always felt like her parents’ discord was her fault, and that there was a lot of discord.  “That explains things” is what she says, with so much dignity.  The Coopers offer to adopt her, to “make things right.”    Extremely elegantly, Ethel rejects their offer immediately.  She says that what she wants is to be happy, which you can’t possibly be with Hal and Alice Cooper as your parents in any capacity.  She wants nothing to do with these people.  Ethel is the only one with a brain cell in this entire community. Good for her, and her smarts.

Frank is finally leaving.   The little family is seeing him off. Reggie first.  Then Frank finagles a final invitation to a regular home cooked meal (“Sunday dinner”) from Mary, who apparently is wonderful at cooking as she is at dress-and-halloween-costume making.  She still invites him, which is a level of forgiveness that I don’t think I am capable of mustering, even to be polite.  As he says goodbye to Archie, Frank asks that Archie not “hold things against him.”  Archie tries to teach Frank that writing poetry is not an emasculating activity. He specifically says that men in trenches in the fields of war have written beautiful poems.  Maybe that’s my path, he says, and Mary shakes her head a FIRM FUCKIN’ NO about dying in war.  They send him off. They’re playing sentimental music over this, but I have to confess I do not understand why. He’s been hateful, overbearing and condescending to them the entire time he’s been here.  They had a big blowout fight after he tried to induce Archie to drop out of high school to join the army, which is both expressly against Mary’s wishes and without any consultation with her.  Why are they making nicey nice?

Can Frank please die now? I am tired of hating him (though the hate is still going very strong.)

In the photo development room, Cherly and Jughead are talking about what to do with the evidence they have found.  Cheryl wants to take these to Sheriff Keller. Jughead disagrees, saying Keller might be in on it too.  “He’s just a dimwitted small-town sheriff that’s in over his head,” is Cheryl’s fantastic little summary of the stupid father of the awful Kevin.  Jughead wants to make this federal, not local, and is going to tap Veronica’s contacts with the FBI from when they were investigated her father.   Cheryl is impressed that Jughead Jones is capable of this much serious, rational thought.  I also wonder if she likes the idea of getting the feds involved or not.  In any case she calls him, playfully, “Sherlock Jones” which is some Veronica level moniker coinage, I must say.

Cheryl now wants to know if Jughead and Veronica are “officially an item.”  She … 

I.

Cheryl and Jughead have actually friendly banter!  I am pleased as punch. They have really nice chemistry!  Cheryl says, gently teasing, that she suspects Jughead might be “in over his crown” in trying to be in a relationship with Veronica Lodge, to which Jughead snaps back, bringing some bravado to it, that he is “holding his own.”  

One of the photos they took is of Jughead leaning very suggestively up against the very phallic looking palladium bomb. 

Cut to the family meal at Thornhill when they get an unexpected banging on the door.  Cheryl leaps up, offering brightly to “go get it.”  Ooh ok so I was wrong. She was purely pleased about involving the feds in this.  She lets in Glen(!) and the other G-Men.  She apparently even summoned them at this exact time.   

Clifford’s full name is Clifford Marion Blossom, and Penelope’s name is 

Penelope Pavlina Novikov Blossom.

Which I am going to commit to memory immediately. 

However, point of order here - shouldn’t that be Pavlina NovikoVA Blossom??

The Blossoms are arrested for “treason, conspiracy, and advocating for the violent overthrow of the American government.”  Moreover, the FBI is going to shut down “Project Moloch” which makes Clifford jump with surprise. 

Cheryl manages to get the last word in:  “You did a bad thing, Daddy.”

She stole wholesale, all of Veronica Lodge’s bag from right under her. No conflicts of interest despite being the daughter, either.   Because Veronica always waffled over Hiram. Not Cheryl. My hero. MVP of Riverdale for real. 

Jughead sounds excited as he relays that the world eventually learned that the American capitalist had been seduced by a Russian sleeper agent,. The plan was thus: 

From the A-bomb to the H-bomb to the P-bomb! 

Clifford Blossom pretended to be developing the P Bomb for the US government but in fact was going to sell it to the Russians.  The FBI took credit for foiling this plan, which Jughead says was “fine by” him except it wasn’t because he’s setting the record straight here.  In any case, he says he did manage to “put the rest of the pieces together.”

Jughead still needs to worship a father figure, and fortunately for him FP doesn’t exist in this AU and Rayberry died, so he’s quite safe.  His hagiographic treatment of Rayberry is that even though all Rayberry did was use what he was worried about from his job at the maple factory to write obscure stories in an obscure comic book the “brilliant, terrifying” nature of these stories is enough to stand him in good stead.   The thing is, Rayberry apparently died directly because he fell in a sort of love with Jughead Jones.  When he invoked the First Amendment on Jughead’s behalf, he “spooked” the powers that be, which made Mayor Blossom sicc his hitman on him.   

By the same token, Mr Muggs somehow, as the janitor, obtaining proof positive that the Blossoms were sitting on top of a stockpile of palladium similarly made him a target.  We are shown Ethel pack up her bag to leave to go somewhere.  Her last meeting in town seems to be with Jughead, who really just does not really care what the plot was, because she paid all the prices for everyone’s secrets from day 1 to literally the moment when Alice Cooper decided to do a nice thing for Ethel purely (and I do mean PURELY) for the purposes of fucking Betty over. 

But Ethel is unendingly kind to Jughead who is very obtusely obsessed with telling her how bad it all was, when all she wants to do is LEAVE.  She tells him, with the same dignified graciousness she’s exhibited throughout, that all his crazy eyed efforts make her “hope for a better tomorrow.”  To his credit, Jughead seems very moved by her elegance, looking at her with misty eyes as she departs with Ben.

Ben calls her Lovebug!!!!!!

Alice is deeply resentful (because she is evil) of Ethel getting to leave Riverdale and for Hollywood, to get a real job at a real movie studio, based purely on her talents.  This is not a caliber of career that either of her daughters is ever going to achieve.  Of course she’s going to try to stop her.  As usual,  Veronica has taken care of everything like the generous queen that she is - gotten Ethel a job, a connection to a powerful person who will feel obligated to look in on Ethel and give her some protection while she figures out the ropes and a place to live.  

You know, Tabitha may be the Guardian Angel of Riverdale but Veronica is the patron saint of Riverdalian hopes and dreams.  “Give them hell Ethel!” Veronica says.  Betty says she wants to visit Ethel.    Jughead and Ethel hugfarewell.  “I’ll miss you. You always were the best partner in crime,” Jughead says.

Why do I still get the feeling that Ethel is just a little bit in love with Jughead Jones?  She pats him gently on the face, telling him not to be “too sad” because they will “always have Pep Comics.”  Jughead really does look very sad about her departure.  

Alice tells Ethel that she’s going to be just fine, and keeps touching Ethel and I wish she wouldn’t. Because I don’t trust Alice at all.  

Jughead says that Ethel was the first to leave Riverdale. (Ben Button is apparently going with her to California but is going to come right back? Or is he so irrelevant he doesn’t count?)  Ethel drives out to the tune of NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW! in her wonderful looking yellow car. I’m glad the pageant didn’t stiff her with the car.   Jughead has this to say:

“All of the pieces were falling into place, but it was just about time to find out if our little town would be avoiding an even greater cataclysm.”

I’m so glad Ethel got a great exit. I really am. I still think she should’ve gotten to fuck Jughead though, just to realize it isn’t all that.

#riverdale opinion #omg it's almost to the end and this was actually a good episode #ethel muggs #riverdale s7 recap #riverdale s7 #riverdale episode recap

[what-inthe-goddamn]

35, 42, and 47 for the ask game? With your courier

Thank you so much for the ask anon!

Fallout OC Questionnaire

35. Their most prized possession?

Six has a journal with entries that date up to more than a decade before the game's starting event in Goodsprings. She's used it as a way to remember some of the things she had forgotten (The bullet Benny shot into her head inflicted some damage and trauma on her brain, fragmenting her memories from before that night.) Despite what was found in there, her name is one of the things not mentioned, and her name had also been ripped off the makeshift label on the outside, so it's still a mystery to her. She continues to write in it after Goodsprings, replacing the missing name with her new one.

42. What’s their favorite location?

Jacobstown on Mt. Charleston. The scenery reminds her of a home from long ago, and the lodge there is a place she likes to visit a lot. She checks in on Lily, gathers plants for Arcade's research, hikes the mountain trails with Boone, and hangs out at the lodge with Cass and Raul. During the colder months some snow comes in, and Veronica insists on having a half-melted snowball fight with her every winter.

47. What’s their favorite radio station and song? (post-apocalypse)

Mr. New Vegas is the station she always has set on her pipboy. There's something in his voice that she loves, and will suffer a million replays of Johnny Guitar on that station just to catch her favorite song: Love Me As Though There Were No Tomorrow by Nat King Cole. She tears up every time she hears it play, but she won't admit it.

#thank you again! #courier six #Six #fallout new vegas #fallout #craig boone #arcade gannon #veronica santangelo #benny gecko

[fyeahvarchie]

hi there! I just found your blog, and I’m just wondering, do you have any varchie fanfic recs? Thanks in advance! Happy Sunday ✨

Hello!

Welcome to Varchieland.

It's Monday for me now and I'm sorry for not replying earlier, but timezones are a tricky thing.

Always eager to give people a reason to appreciate Varchie.

I can't start this rec list without first mentioning Lake Michigan. It's a role reversal story with Archie being the new guy as he moves to Chicago to live with his mom following the Grundy mess. While Varchie is the main ship obviously, it spends some quality time on other characters too and various dynamics. It's still in progress, but a little birdie told me she's aiming to finish the story this year.

The current obsession is Hymn For The Missing. (The title is all thanks to me after all~) It's a canon-divergent take on season 7. It deals with the aftermath of the comet and the loss of many characters -- though one in particular drives the story. Varchie find themselves on the road looking for answers.

I think you'll have noticed by now that these two fanfictions are from the same author. And so I encourage you to read everything that's been written by andsmile. Special mentions to the Hard Things Break series -- a rollercoaster that never stops. To All The Girls I've Sung About which is a take on the book of practically the same name. And All The Roads based on the movie Family Man.

There's also the wonderful theeternalblue and her many one shots, ficlets and holiday goodies. A special mention to Tell Them I'm Home which deals with Archie being a single father and meeting one very gorgeous raven-haired girl.

And you can't read Varchie fanfiction without checking Tuesdayschildd and monicaposh who never fail to bring the heat. My special mentions go to Across The Stars which follows various versions of Varchie through the ages. As well as Give Me All Your Midnights -- successful entrepreneur Veronica Lodge meets songwriter Archie Andrews.

There are many other fanfictions about Varchie, from some great authors, and so ultimately, you should be able to find them all at @varchiefanfiction.

Hope you'll enjoy yourself.

#ask: va #varchie #varchie fanfiction

[archieimagines]

Discontinued Fandoms Masterlist

This is a compilation of all the works we’ve posted for fandoms we no longer write for. The writing itself will always be kept here for you to enjoy!

Check our main masterlist here!

American Horror Story

Imagines:

Cordelia Foxx | Imagine becoming the new Supreme

Big Bang Theory

One Shots:

Sheldon Cooper | Prove the Theory

Headcanons:

Sheldon and Leonard | Sheldon’s little sister sharing the apartment

Black Sails

Imagines:

Charles Vane | Imagine Charles Vane promising you a future by his side

The Breakfast Club

Imagines:

John Bender | Imagine Bender helping you find the library for detention

DC Universe

One Shot:

Hal Jordan | Get Your Own Jello

Deadpool

Preferences:

How they cuddle  |  Part 2 

Divergent

Imagines:

Will | Imagine Will teaching you martial arts

Doctor Who

Imagines:

10th Doctor | Imagine being with the 10th Doctor in Paris

12th Doctor | Imagine being in a band with the 12th Doctor

Downton Abbey

One Shots:

Thomas Barrow | Such A Charmer

The Flash

Headcanons:

Barry Allen | Dating Barry would include

Friends

Imagines:

Joey Tribbiani | Imagine having a crush on Joey

Headcanons:

All | Having a night out with the group would include

Glee

Imagines:

Noah ‘Puck’ Puckerman | Imagine Puck getting jealous over you

Grey’s Anatomy

One Shots:

George O’ Malley | 007

Owen Hunt | Major Owen Hunt | My Choice

Hairspray

Imagines:

Corny Collins | Imagine Corny telling you “Hey baby, looks like you could use a stiff one.”

Hawaii 5-0

One Shots:

Chin Ho Kelly | Mistakes

Danno Williams | Save Me

Hemlock Grove

Imagines:

Roman Godfrey | Imagine Roman missing your hints that he’s an upir

KINGSMAN MASTERLIST

LOST

Imagines:

James ‘Sawyer’ Ford | Imagine Sawyer not wanting to give your bag back James ‘Sawyer’ Ford | Imagine Sawyer not realising he’s stolen your medication James ‘Sawyer’ Ford | Imagine having your first time with Sawyer James ‘Sawyer’ Ford | Imagine Sawyer noticing that Jack is your ex

Kate Austen | Imagine Kate comforting you when you lose a precious necklace

Sayid Jarrah | Imagine falling asleep on Sayid Sayid Jarrah | Imagine being selectively mute and only speaking to Sayid Sayid Jarrah | Imagine Sayid saving you Sayid Jarrah | Imagine Sayid scaring you when he turns ‘bad’ Sayid Jarrah | Imagine finding a pool with Sayid Sayid Jarrah | Imagine finding out Sayid is touch-starved

Shannon Rutherford | Imagine lending Shannon your inhaler

One Shots:

James ‘Sawyer’ Ford | Sandbox  |  Part 2

Preferences:

First Kiss

Night At The Museum

Imagines:

Kahmunrah | Imagine Kahmunrah falling in love with you

The Maze Runner

Imagines:

Gally | Imagine Gally falling in love with you Gally | Imagine trying to come up with a plan to be with Gally

NCIS

Imagines:

Leroy Jethro Gibbs | Imagine Gibbs reluctantly cuddling with you

One Shots:

Leroy Jethro Gibbs | His Closest Friend

Park And Rec

Imagines:

Ben Wyatt | Imagine comforting Ben after the Ice Town incident

One Shots: 

Andy Dwyer | “Holy shit, you know Santa!”

Ben Wyatt | Happy Secrets

Peaky Blinders

One Shots:

Tommy Shelby | Eavesdrop

Preacher

Imagines:

Cassidy | Imagine being in a relationship with Cassidy Cassidy | Imagine getting up to mischief with Cassidy

Pushing Daisies

Imagines:

Emerson Cod | Imagine Emerson knitting you a sweater for Christmas Emerson Cod | Imagine being Emerson’s assistant

Ned the Piemaker | Imagine Ned falling in love with you when you become a regular Ned the Piemaker | “You’re covered in flour.” Ned the Piemaker | Imagine Ned baking you a pie

Reign

One Shots:

Sebastian ‘Bash’ de Poitiers | Real France  |  Part 2

Riverdale

Imagines:

Archie Andrews | Imagine everyone noticing you and Archie like each other Archie Andrews | Imagine being a Serpent that Archie falls for

Jughead Jones | Imagine editing Jughead’s manuscript Jughead Jones | Imagine becoming Jughead’s friend

Reggie Mantle | Imagine Reggie liking you

Sweet Pea | “Open your present!”

Veronica Lodge | I dressed down in this catwoman outfit for you and my party boob keeps escaping

One Shots:

Archie Andrews | Worry

Jughead Jones | Misery Loves Company

Sweet Pea | Blood, Tears, and... Corn?

Shadowhunters

Imagines:

Jace Wayland | Imagine Clary trying to go for Jace when he’s already dating you

Teen Wolf

Imagines:

Lydia Martin | Imagine Lydia helping you figure out which supernatural creature you are

Stiles Stilinski | Imagine helping Stiles through his night terrors Stiles Stilinski | Imagine being Scott’s little sister and having a crush on Stiles | Part 2  Stiles Stilinski | Imagine Stiles reacting to you getting terrible anonymous messages Stiles Stilinski | “Fine, you can put the topper on the tree.” Stiles Stilinski | “My gingerbread house is prettier than yours.”

One Shots:

Brett Talbot | His Angel

Stiles Stilinski | Unsteady Stiles Stilinski | Not Anymore Stiles Stilinski | Jealousy

Theo Raeken | In the Neighbourhood (kinda NSFW)

Headcanons:

Stiles Stilinski | Dating Stiles would include Stiles Stilinski | How Stiles reacts to you breaking up with him Stiles Stilinski | Taking Stiles to meet your parents would include

Theo Raeken | Dating Theo would include

X-MEN

Imagines:

Erik ‘Magneto’ Lehnsherr | Imagine Erik trying to help with dinner by using his powers Erik ‘Magneto’ Lehnsherr | “You’ve never had a New Year’s kiss?”

Charles ‘Professor X’ Xavier | “Why does the house smell like a cinnamon roll threw up?”

Charles and Erik | Imagine being recruited into the X-Men by Charles and Erik

Wolverine / Logan | Imagine stealing Logan’s motorbike to get his attention after having a crush on him for so long

#masterlist #discontinued #admin

[bonniebird]

Vampire!Sweet Pea x Fem!Reader

Requested by Anon

Masterpost

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“There are supernatural monsters in Riverdale.” Your friend had informed the group. Betty and Veronica shared looks over the table while Cheryl had scoffed. Reggie agreed and pointed out several weird things that had happened. 

Though there was a long discussion. Reggie was convinced on werewolves being the source of the issue while your friend insisted on vampires. 

You’d agreed to help investigate and had gone to where the last event had been. You were certain that you had seen Betty and Veronica hurry off up ahead of you but when you’d called out and rushed up the road you found no one there. Something rustled in the woods next to the pathway and you called out. “Betty? Veronica?”

“Lost?” Someone said as you jumped and turned around. You recognised the tall person looking down at you. He was one of the people that hung around with Betty’s boyfriend Jughead, only coming out late at night to loiter outside Pop’s with Betty and Veronica, even Archie. 

“N-no.” you mumbled and tried not to stare at him. He seemed to have an energy that drew you in but repelled you all at once. He smiled and walked a small circle around you, forcing you to do the same so you could keep an eye on him.

"Don’t seem like you should be hanging around this part of town while it's getting dark.” he was right. It was getting dark. You looked up at the sky and found that hours must have passed. You’d spent so long following Betty and Veronica that you hadn’t noticed how far time had slipped on. You were about an hour away from where you’d started and even that had been in the furthest part of town you felt safe in. He smiled at you, seeming to be able to tell you were becoming nervous though you did your best to hide it.

“We’re. Still in Riverdale?” You said quietly. He chuckled and leaned down, making you jump. 

“Only just. You’re pretty far out, little rabbit.” His voice was low as he leaned in and made sure he was at eye level with you. His eyes seemed to bore into yours. Swallowing you the lump that lodged in your throat you felt breathless and as if he had swallowed you whole. Feeling as if you were falling forwards and that his eyes held the galaxy in them. You tried to step away but you felt as if you’d been plucked from your body. As if you were running in water. Your breath sped up as he continued to get closer and a look spread across his face as if he had you trapped and he knew it. 

“Sweet Pea.” A voice snapped. He looked away and just like that you felt rushed back into your body. Taking a deep breath you stepped back and spotted a furious looking Jughead with Betty and Veronica next to him. “Get (Y/N) home. Make sure nothing happens to them. Nothing.” 

“Why do I get the feeling that we've picked up another pathetic life form?” Sweet Pea grumbled and you shrank back. Veronica rolled her eyes.

“Just do it.” She snapped. Sweet Pea chuckled.

“I don’t take orders from you and I don’t protect your pets.” Sweet Pea snapped.

“No but you answer to me. No harm. Straight home.” He barked out and glared at Sweet Pea who rolled his eyes and gripped your arm, leading you back the way you’d come. You tried to look at Betty and Veronica past his arm but they seemed to have vanished into the slowly darkening woods again.

“Are you werewolves?” You asked boldly as you got back to a part of town you recognised and Sweet Pea’s speedy march slowed to one that didn’t have your feet pattering quickly against the tarmac next to him.

“Do I look like a dog?” He snapped and frowned at you. He pulled you back from the road as a car shot round the corner before you’d even heard it. He strode quickly the rest of the way to your house and stopped.

“I’ve never seen a werewolf so I'm not sure.” You admitted. 

“So you went out looking for a werewolf?” Sweet Pea asked with amusement as he watched you unlock your door.

“Well. I went looking for something that was attacking people. We think it’s a werewolf.” You admitted quietly, your back to him.

“You came pretty close.” Sweet Pea said as you stepped over your threshold. You were surprised by how close he had gotten without you noticing. The edges of his boots right against the outside of your door.

“Well. Thanks for getting me home safely. You closed the door and let out a shaky breath. Your ears had been ringing and something in your gut felt off. You weren’t sure what it was but now you were safe in your home you felt fine. 

Sweet Pea tags:

@linkpk88 @babypink224221 @lisainhell @spiderwebs-blog @gryffindorqueensworld @rockyrascal @twerp8999 @theletterhart @boardstomymood @greekktragedyy @daughterofthenight117 @sarcasm-n-insomnia @geli2297 @justice-for-the-kaldorei

@kaylantus @ssa--holmes

@salemsnothere @supernatural-wolfie @yougottalovefandoms @devilslilbabysblog @why-am-I-here-01

@babygrinchsblog @love1deandra @archaeologydigit @im-eating-rn @bucketbunny @littlefreakingfangirl @gillybear17 @lelapine @lchufflepuffcorn @lucyqueenofthestars @kaitieskidmore1 @stupendousbelieverzombie @jamie-c-bower-simp

#sweet pea #sweet pea x reader #bonniebird #riverdale

[inutaffy]

riverdale recap. didnt live blog this part my bad

kurtz fuckinf died. RIP MY GREASY JUNKIE BABE. he got killed by the gargoyle king

gladys (jugheads mom) left town. one bc she put jellybean in danger with the whole drug trade thing ans two bc FP foudn out about it and hes. Peeved. and the sheriff so. she's disappearing for a bit she says.

black hood, betty's dad faked his death. came back only to be shot by penelope blossom during a game she put on to prove that betty/jughead/archie/veronica were just as dark as the rest of the town. they weren't.

oh yeah penelope blossom is the gargoyle king

hiram lodge got fucjing arrrested. for illegal gambling and the like.

hermione lodge got arrested bc hiram told the police that she tried to kill him. twice

junior prom happened ans betty was attacked by the black hood (this happened obviously before she was killed)

cheryl wasn't allowed to be prom queen bc of some stupid farmie rule (cult behavior) something something the one become many the many one. idk. anyway she was pissed about it. as she should be shout out my egoistical lesbian icon

oh yeah hiram got arrested bc when he "sold" pops chock lit shop veronica, he actually tricked her. he kept the deed and gave her a fake so she was In Fact. putting money back into his pocket. she got pissed about that brought the fbi in to get him caught in the act and staged this whole thing.

hiram also literallt almost killed a teenager in the ring over some stupid shit. grown ass 50 yr old man literallt threw the ref and said "THIS ENDS NOW‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️" like fuck dude calm down hes 17

speaking of archie, hes in his regular self destructive tendencies he tried to fight 2 fights in the same day AFTER losing 6 pounds of weight. crazy shit.

oh yeah the whole prom thing they all dressed up as medieval times and betty had to be crowned prom queen bc she's. the gryphon queen or some shit and in the gargoyle king's gospel it said that the gryphon queen's coronation would bring about the gargoyle king arrival blah blah.

right like i said about the black hood attacking betty at prom? that was bc she received a note saying she needs to go see the king immediately, before the crowning. something blah blah if you say something everyone will die. and then she almost died.

also to escape, hal cooper, the black hood. cut his hand off and threw it on the burning transfer bus (he was supposed to be going to another prison. betty literallt thoight he escaped as soon as she heard because he specfically asked her to help him get transfered to a facility in riverdale.) to make everyone believe he was dead. so he h. so he had. so he had a hook for a hand.

he also killed like 5 other people at prom before trying for betty. all while the juniors were in the gym

after the black hood scare, she went to her mom, who's with the farm whos been using the old "Sisters Of Quiet Mercy" building for their uses. basically they're an ex nun group who did bad mental health services. and also part orphanage. ANYWAY after the black hood scare betty decided to stay with her mom in the cultish farm facility.

#theres more hold on

[arewordsenough]

Rated Explicit - 1.9k One Shot - M/M - Explicit Sexual Content

Summary: Archie is spending the night at Veronica's and wakes up thirsty in the middle of the night. Hiram's thirsty too, but not for some water.

Based on a prompt from one of my readers.

Featured pairing: Archie Andrews/Hiram Lodge

Key tags: Slave/Master

#riverdale fanfiction #gay smut #archie andrews #hiram lodge #my edit #my writing

[jhsharman]

stamp out

If at first I think maybe the change in skirt length and sleeveness is seasonal, I look and see the reprint actually just moves it from June to April so that would be borderline at best.

It does seem longer than Betty or Veronica would tend to wear.

I am surprised they did not toss in a few more hearts, but maybe this scene is a tad subdued.

Funny the change requires this thick line to fla then the mini-skirt fluttering.

I note this change, the removal of dialogue and the lazy black over the tree, was made all the back five years after the original -- where otherwise the sleeves and mini-skirts remain. Might be a story flow decision and not sensitivity.

Possibly the one shot where Betty's mini-skirt leads to an immodest-ish shot. Likewise this next panel for Veronica.

I am tempted to give you the spoiler, but you undoubtedly can guess it. The story is framed by the quotation "What we have here is a failure to communicate" after Mr. Lodge lobs Archie out of the mansion.

#Archie Comics #Archie Andrews #betty Cooper #Veronica Lodge #Smithers #Hiram Lodge #Jughead #Sleeves #Mini-skirt #Skirt #Harry Lucey #1969