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totheblood · 1 year

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true blue. (three)

pairing: modern!ellie williams x reader

summary: ellie buys a scone and you drink a shirley temple

warnings: suggestive themes, drug/alcohol usage, cursing, descriptions of abusive behavior (neither ellie or reader engages in these behaviors)

a/n: i love writing as ellie writing in her journal... also the ai audios were a bitch to make this time... hope u like them THIS IS NOT PROOFREAD - I apologize.

here is the masterlist where you can read part one and two!

Ellie wanted nothing more than to pretend the last two days of her life didn’t exist.

But that wasn’t possible. This was real life and Ellie had received a booty call from her most recent heartbreak merely hours after she had her fingers tucked inside of her ex. Ellie wasn’t even completely sure why she was entertaining it, but she knew that whatever choice she made she would curse herself forever.

The truth was that Ellie had missed Cat almost as much as she hated her. There’s a certain kind of comfort that only your first love can bring, and a certain kind of addiction Ellie had for her. But at the end of the day, it always came down to one thing: Ellie wanted to be known by someone.

And she was known by Cat, albeit for only for a few months, but still she was known. Cat saw all the worst parts of her and still held her like glass every night. She saw the things that Ellie couldn’t even imagine liking about herself and turned them into something beautiful. Ellie’s heart had been harbored in the chest of Cat’s for almost a year and that was something you couldn’t just forget.

Then there was you. Ellie had known you all for a few weeks and was already entranced by you. She liked the little things you did, like buy her tea after realizing she didn’t like coffee or how you always printed an extra sheet of notes knowing she would forget to bring hers to class. What astonished Ellie even more was that you did most of this while she was giving you the cold shoulder.

What plagued Ellie about this was that she knew for a fact that if she got to know you, she would fall in love with you. She had already written down a list of things about you in her journal and she was starting to feel like she was going insane.

Likes a lot of sugar in her coffee… too much sugar almost, made a comment about it and she told me ‘that’s why she was so sweet’.. It was corny as fuck. She’s fucking adorable.

This little freak told me how she communicates with squirrels, she waves her arm or some shit, i told her she was clinically insane… AND THEN SHE DID IT??? She moved her arm and a fucking squirrel ran up to us… what the fuck, is this girl magic?

She smiles everytime she sees me, even after I’ve been a jerk.. Dina told me I should drop it but I can’t, when I see her stupid beautiful face I remember Cat, am i the crazy one?

She looked so sad today. I wanted to ask her what was wrong but I didn’t… I’m such an asshole sometimes. I don’t know why I do this to myself. If I was her I’d run the other way but she just sticks around… who does that?

I swear she’s playing mind games with me, her shirt was so tight today that i just

She smells like cherry and vanilla… almost want to take a bite

She didn’t text me about the project today… is she forgetting about me?

Ellie never thought she would be in this predicament. She never imagined having a sense of loyalty to you, but a part of her felt that if she went over to Cat’s she would be betraying you.

So she didn’t.

That Saturday morning Ellie went to Bean and picked up the strawberry scone you love so much and your coffee with extra sugar and headed over to your dorm. As she approached your building her palms got increasingly more sweaty. She was quickly losing the confidence she had when she was with you yesterday, but she was determined to start fresh with you.

She even imagined the two of you bonding over shitty exes, kissing all the places they refused to. She imagined crying in your lap instead of Dina’s and kissing the inside of your thigh when she finally felt better. She imagined taking a bath with you, you rubbing whatever sickly sweet cherry scent you were obsessed with over her body. She was imagining a lot of things, but she was getting ahead of herself.

Ellie knocked about five times before deciding that you were asleep. Just as she turned to leave she heard a groan from the other side of the door.

“Ugh, hello?” Your voice came out raspy, evidence of last night in your voice.

“Um, hi… it’s me.” Ellie spoke, her throat getting a little bit dry. “It’s Ellie.”

“Oh shit, Ellie.” You opened the door quickly ushering her in. She stepped in and watched as you put a hand on your forehead, the hangover written all over your face. It was evident that you had slept in your make-up, as she could see the mascara smudged across your face. You looked like a fucking mess, but Ellie thought you looked beautiful.

Suddenly, she was shy again. “Fun night, huh?” She joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“Yeah, it was fucking fantastic.” You replied sarcastically, climbing back onto your bed and patting the spot next to you, ushering Ellie to join you. “What’cha got there?” You questioned, eyes glancing at the bag and cup she had resting in her hands.

“Oh it’s, uh, it’s that scone you like… and your sugar coffee.” She walked over to where you were, handing you the bag and cup as she sat down next to you. She smiled as she watched your features soften as you blinked up at her, a small genuine smile on your face.

“For me?” You beamed. Ellie noticed two things right away: you had tears in your eyes, and no one had ever done something like this for you before. It was so small in terms of gestures, but Ellie’s heart swelled with pride as you thanked her.

She watched you take a bite, before you closed your eyes and gave her a fake moan. “This is so fucking good. I needed this.”

“I’m glad.” She gently nudged your shoulder with hers.

“Ellie… I don’t mean this to be rude, but why are you here?” You asked reluctantly. She could tell you weren’t trying to be rude so she didn’t take any real offense to it. If Ellie was being honest with herself she couldn’t exactly place why she was here either. All she knew was that she didn’t want to be at Cat’s. She also knew that she wanted to hang out with you, but the more she sat here the more she realized she should’ve asked you.

“Oh I, I just wanted to talk about yesterday…” She came up with the lie quickly knowing it may be the only thing that made sense. “And what that means for us… not that there is an us but… you know.”

All you did was nod and take another bite of your scone. “What does it mean for us?”

She took a deep breath as she eyed you. You truly were the eighth wonder of the world to her. It was like there was something that was always pulling her towards you. At first she thought that something was Cat, but there was no way that whatever attraction she had to you was based on Cat alone.

You were completely different. When she spoke, it was obvious you were listening. It was like you wanted to hear what she had to say. You laughed at her lame joke and never made her feel like an idiot for making them. When she got quiet you would try to bring her out of her shell by telling her stupid puns. She was mad at you at the time, but her heart still appreciated it. You never let her look stupid in class or in public. One time you even got down on your knee and tied her shoe for her. You were heaven incarnate, and you made her feel like she was deserving of that.

“I just… I think when I met you it scared me how much I liked you. I had just gotten broken up with and I couldn’t get into another thing… you know? But there you were with your sweet fucking voice and pens and I just.. I shut down and I pulled away from you and I know yesterday felt so sudden but I had been thinking about doing that for a while now. I think I want to know you more, but in order to do that I think we should start over. Clean slate. Act like my fingers were never inside you and all that. Maybe even let me take you out on a date.” Ellie rambled out, carefully watching your face for any reaction that would give you away.

“Oh Ellie,” You whispered, your voice soft and tender. You brought a hand up to push her hair behind her ears, ignoring how her face flushed and grew hot. “I would love that. But I refuse to forget those fingers.”

“They’re good fingers, right?” She was beaming up at you, freckled and starry eyed. “How about tomorrow for that date?”

“Works for me.” You smiled, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. This had felt more like a first kiss to Ellie than anything she had done prior. It was gentle and sweet and left her pulse racing. It was the kind of kiss that she closed her eyes for, hoping it would last longer. It was the kind of kiss you held your breath for.

It had been almost three weeks since you and Ellie started going out, and she was on the verge of asking you to be her girlfriend. That title was still sore in her chest but she was fighting through it for you.

You were someone who had ‘girlfriend’ written all over them. You were the type of person people would want to call their girlfriend. You always kissed Ellie goodbye, held her hand as much as possible, and best of all you gave really good head. Ellie was trying to be less vulgar and more romantic but the minute you started working her with your tongue, she became 16 again.

Ellie had made it a habit to add more about you in her journal after every date you had, the scribbles getting more frantic as the time went on. She felt like a fucking child.

She ordered a Shirley Temple at dinner today… At first I was like??? What the fuck? But then she took the cherry stem and tied it with her tongue. THEN she told me that she was going to show me again later… and in my head I’m like??? But then later came and… well so did I.

We saw a stray cat on our walk today and it approached us… a cat has never fucking approached me in my life? Maybe I have shit vibes or something.. But not my girl, she’s like a fucking rainbow. She pet it and made a comment about getting pussy. I’m crushing on the girl I’m going out with.

This little weirdo made me a mug in her pottery class, carved her name into a heart and everything. Even said the heart was mine.. It was so fucking cute… her… not the mug. The mug was ugly as fuck. She did her best.

Joel came for family day today and met her. He told me she was cute but a little fucking weird, just like me. What an asshole. I counted the amount of times she made him laugh. It was 24. 24 times in 2 hours. Joel Miller has never laughed that much in his entire life. But the fact that he likes her so much makes my heart warm. I don’t even mind that he might like her more than me.

She had been begging to hang out with my friends so Dina and Jesse and us went on a double date. Her and Dina act like they know each other. They were all giggly. It was gross. Jesse even seems to like her. He gave her the last bread in the basket. JESSE! Jesse did that. It seems small but that’s like something he never does. I’m starting to believe this girl is a witch… I’m starting to believe I’m in love with her.

I’ve been writing her a song on the guitar. She saw the guitar in my room one time and called me “her little rockstar”... what a fucking nerd. She asked me to play for her but I got nervous… that has never happened before… What are you doing to me????

Ellie was smitten. Ellie was so smitten that she almost forgot about Cat. Almost. Because at this very moment Cat was charging towards her as she sat on the grass with her journal in her hands.

“Hey.” Cat sighed, sitting down next to Ellie.

“What do you want, Cat?” Ellie grunted out, moving over so she wasn’t sat so close to her.

“You never came by.” She sounded genuinely sad, so much so that it threw Ellie off.

“I got busy.” Ellie wanted this to be over so badly.

“With my ex? If you two are playing the long game it isn’t going to work. I don’t care.” Cat replied, anger almost evident in your voice.

“How is my relationship about you?” This time Ellie turned towards Cat, closing the journal in your hands.

“It’s obvious what you guys are doing. This little act to make me upset, yeah, it’s not working. You’re both my exes for a reason” She spat.

“Not everything is about you. She doesn’t even know I’m your ex, you have never come up in our conversations.” Ellie was getting annoyed, but instead Cat just laughed, something sinister filling her eyes.

“Oh, you don’t know?” Cat snorted.

“Know what?” Ellie questioned, trying to keep the anger in her voice to a minimum.

“She hated you, Ellie. Thought you were the one I left her for. Technically she was right, but she called me to curse me out about it. Showed me the birthday post I made you with literal tears in her eyes.”

And if Ellie’s heart was broken by Cat, it was absolutely shattered by you.

ai audios:

i've reached my daily limit for audios (tumblr hates happy people) so i have attached them as links this time.. cause i did not work so hard on them for them not to be posted.

oh i just wanted to talk about yesterday

i just i think when i met you it scared me

they're good fingers, right?

#ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams smut #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams x reader smut #ellie williams the last of us #ellie williams tlou2 #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams fan fic #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams oneshot #modern!ellie williams #college!ellie williams #ellie williams one shot

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wildemaven · 10 months

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Congrats again honey! I’d love a little drabble if possible - let’s say 11 and 73 for Marcus Pike 🥰 you should be so proud of yourself! E💕

On the House

Wildemaven 1k Celebration / 1k Masterlist

Pairing: Marcus Pike x Reader

Warnings: 18+ Blog; Mentions of food and drinks, otherwise just fluffy cuteness.

Prompts: - The feeling is mutual." / "It's impossible to get rid of me."

You faintly hear the bell ring, signaling to you the front door opening to a customer, either coming or going.

The frantic whirring of grinding beans and the rumble of the espresso machine pulling two shots, drown out the more muted sounds of the shop.

A quick glance over your shoulder you see one of your regulars waiting at the cash stand, he smiles when he sees your attention is already on him.

It’s a quick dumping of shots and swirling of steamed milk into a paper cup, placing it on the counter for the kind older gentleman who’s been snacking on his scone as he waits, bidding you a ‘good day’ with his warm coffee in hand.

“Good morning! What will it be today? Your regular?” Memorizing orders isn’t easy, but when a cute face stops in regularly, it becomes fairly easy to remember they drink a 16 ounce latte with 2% milk and 2 pumps of vanilla.

“Morning! Yeah, can I get it on ice today— if that’s not too much?” He asks, noting to ask him hot or cold next time he stops in.

“Of course!” You say as you start to prep his drink, grateful he’s the only one in line so you don’t have to buzz through it. “I almost didn’t recognize you without the suit and tie.” Pointing to his more laid back outfit.

He glances down and smiles, a plain tshirt and jeans are today’s attire, realizing he’s only ever came in before heading to work.

“Yeah, I have the day off, no need for the office uniform.” He chuckles, heat pricking his face at the way you seem to know his order and what he wears regularly.

He’s only been in the city for about a month, still learning all his neighborhood has to offer, but settles on this coffee shop as his go-to place, especially since it’s on his way to work— it doesn’t hurt that you greet him most mornings either.

“So what is it you do then, that is so official?” You ask, adding the vanilla to the cup of iced milk before pouring the two steaming shots over top, the dark liquid curling into the milk. “If you can’t say, I totally understand.”

“FBI, Art Crimes Department to be more specific — I have the day off. My name is Marcus.” His hand shoots out in an attempt to put himself out there, being that he is still pretty new to the area.

Sliding his order across the counter, you give him your name as you shake his hand, the gesture lingers a bit, getting lost in each other’s gaze— laughter breaks the silence, both of you realizing what just occurred.

“Well, it’s on the house today, Marcus.”

“Oh no! Let me pay, please! I don’t want you to get in trouble for this.” Pulling several bills from his wallet and holding them out to you.

“Lucky for you, I’m the owner, so I make the rules— it’s on the house. If you want, you can make it up to me by taking me out to dinner tonight, I’m off at 5. I enjoy your company in the mornings, I’d love to get to know you better— outside of daily latte orders.”

He doesn’t respond, you think he must be thinking of the best way to let you down.

“I’m so sorry, I thought we had a moment there— now I’m being weird and too forward with you.“ A nervous laugh escapes as you try to explain yourself.

The pairing of his jaw tick and cute smirk nearly take you out.

“Definitely not being too forward, the feeling is mutual— I’d love to take you to dinner tonight. What’s your address? I’ll pick you up at 7.”

“I’m happy I didn’t lose you as a customer, my mornings would have sucked without your smile.” Handing him your address that you scribbled onto his receipt paper.

“Never, it's impossible to get rid of me."

#wildemaven 1k celebration #Marcus Pike #marcus pike x reader #marcus pike x you #pedro pascal #wildemaven writes

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mezmer · 1 month

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Sister in law who is a dog owner made some really good looking vanilla scones, so I had to try one. They taste like dog lol. I can taste like the scent of the dogs in the pastry. I'd rather eat a bowl of baked beans that taste like cigarettes than a dog flavored vanilla scone

#She is also a weed smoker so they taste like weed too lmfao

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moonprismo · 11 months

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╭︎ ✧︎ : 𝓶𝔂⁸︎𝓬𝓾𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓻𝓼 Ꮺ࣭

┆︎ 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉/𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎 𝓌𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝑜𝓇𝒹𝑒𝓇 𝒶𝓉 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓇𝒷𝓊𝒸𝓀𝓈

┆︎☁️ •︎ 𝓯𝓵𝓾𝓯𝓯 // 𝓰𝓷!𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻 // 𝔀.𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓽 : 𝓷/𝓪

┆︎𓏲࣪ 𝗂 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾𝗇’𝗍 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗇 𝖺𝗇𝗒𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂𝗇 𝖺 𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒 𝗅𝗈𝗈𝗈𝗈𝗈𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾. 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝗌 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝖽𝖺 𝗐𝖾𝗂𝗋𝖽 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗂 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗄 𝗂𝗍 𝖼𝖺𝗆𝖾 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗀𝗈𝗈𝖽? 𝖿𝖾𝖾𝖽𝖻𝖺𝖼𝗄 𝗂𝗌 𝗐𝖾𝗅𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾𝖽

╰︎ ✧︎ : 𝓽𝓪𝓰𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 : @tinystarstay (𝗆𝗒 𝗅𝗂𝗅 𝖽𝖺𝗋𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀)

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨𝖧𝗈𝗇𝗀𝗃𝗈𝗈𝗇𝗀୧˚

the customer that you remember because of his distinct appearance || you remember him because he sometimes forgets what he orders and likes it a certain way || manages to come only when your at work ((you know cause you asked people if they’ve seen him before and they say no))

“uhm..i’d like a grande iced white chocolate caramel macchiato, extra mocha drizzle with cinnamon powder on top & extra ice. and a warmed blueberry muffin”

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨𝖲𝖾𝗈𝗇𝗀𝗁𝗐𝖺୧˚

the customer that makes you blush and giggle like a school girl || his drink usually changes between a hot and an iced drink || he likes the way you make his drink because you look so focused and you’re quick

“may i have a hot chocolate today? a grande in a venti please with extra whipped cream. also 2 warmed chocolate chip cookies & a coffee cake.”

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨𝖸𝗎𝗇𝗁𝗈୧˚

the new regular customer || he doesn’t drink coffee and usually asks for suggestions and he usually gets what you suggest || he’s gonna be one that wants to try every drink first

“i really liked that chai you made me yesterday! i’d like one of those but big and iced. maybe add a little extra vanilla and an extra chai pump too. let’s add 2 double smoked bacons & a birthday cake pop.”

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨𝖸𝖾𝗈𝗌𝖺𝗇𝗀୧˚

the on and off again customer || you’d see him like every so often and he gets the same thing each time so you remember his drink || you both ended up following each other on instagram because he works as a bartender and goes live while he’s at work

“oh hey what’s up! can i get double tall hot french vanilla latte with whip. thank you”

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨𝖲𝖺𝗇୧˚

the customer that comes in with his cat || you also remember him because he never comes by himself, he’s always got his little kitty in this little bag and she’s always looking around || he’s very sweet and tips really good when you complement and boop his kitties nose

“hi there, can i just get a trenta lemonade with peach & strawberry inclusions. uhmm.. a croissant for byeol and a lemon loaf, please and thank you.”

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨𝖬𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗂୧˚

the juice customer || he told you specifically that he can’t handle coffee because of his acid reflux and when you told him you sell apple juice he was hooked || comes in orders and then dives right into whatever he was working on

“i’d like a venti apple juice with no ice.. wait. can i get it hot? i can? then a venti hot apple juice and 2 vanilla bean scones.”

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨𝖶𝗈𝗈𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗀୧˚

the coffee-holic customer || you worry about him sometimes || he already seems jumpy and with the amount of shots he gets in 1 drink is threatening sometimes || you once made his drink and tried it… you had no idea espresso could be so 𝖘𝖕𝖎𝖈𝖞

“i’d like to try something a friend of mine got once.. in a venti iced cup can i get 8 shots of espresso with extra ice… no no water it’s fine. that’s it~”

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨𝖩𝗈𝗇𝗀𝗁𝗈୧˚

the easy new customer || he likes sweets every once in a while but not all the time || he’s the customer you give extra shots/free pastries too || will sometimes bring you treats he made at home for being so nice

“i’d like a small iced americano with 2 sugars and extra ice. oh and a lemon loaf please.”

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cannorexic · 1 year

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Starbucks safe foods (under 300 calories!)

Breakfast

Turkey Bacon, Cheddar & Egg White Sandwich - 230 calories

Spinach, Feta & Egg White Wrap - 290 calories

Bacon & Gruyère Egg Bites - 300 calories

Kale & Mushroom Egg Bites - 230 calories

Egg White & Roasted Red Pepper Egg Bites - 170 calories

Bakery

All bagels - 270 to 290 calories (without cream cheese, butter, avocado spread)

All cake pops - 140 to 170 calories

Butter Croissant - 250 calories

Chocolate Croissant - 300 calories

Chocolate Pistachio Swirl - 280 calories

Cheese Danish - 290 calories

Petite Vanilla Bean Scone - 120 calories

Other

Berry Trio Parfait - 240 calories

Strawberry Overnight Grains - 300 calories

#txt #3dblr #3d safe foods #3d diet #pro rexy #pro3d #pro4n4

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reallytallcat · 4 months

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"Hi what can I get for you today?"

"Vanilla bean. 😐🧍‍♂️"

The menu: Vanilla bean coffee. Vanilla bean scone. Vanilla bean latte. Vanilla bean smoothie. Vanilla bean sandwich. Vanilla bean Frappuccino. Vanilla bea

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livingbeyondallergies · 1 year

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Gluten free vanilla scones

#food #gluten free #gluten free baking #vanilla bean #scones

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kairithemang0 · 23 days

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ask game ✏🥤💞

✏️: answered this one, yes! And I’ll happily write most anything because I’m a bored little man who thinks too much about fictional characters

🥤: grande mango dragon fruit refresher WITH LEMONADE and an extra 2 scoops of dragonfruit with the basic amount of ice bcs i need something to chew on after i finish my drink. Also a vanilla bean scone <3

💕: pretty much any art blog but @ricky-mortis specifically at the moment I love their art style

#ask game #thanks for the ask!#yall I love asks asks are my favorite things #I’ll never not be happy to see stuff in my inbox

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trislosherfan25 · 2 years

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I hate you turkey bacon bravo. I hate you Chicken Chipotle and avocado sandwich. I hate you Roasted Turkey and Avocado BLT. I hate yo Deli Turkey Sandwich. I have you BBQ chicken sandwich. I hate you steak and white cheddar sandwich. I have you frontera chicken sandwich. I hate you tuna salad sandwich. I hate you Mediterranean veggie sandwich. I hate you Napa almond chicken salad sandwich. I hate you roasted steak and white cheddar sandwich. I hate you grilled cheese. I hate you grilled Mac n cheese. I hate you signature chicken sandwich. I hate you spicy buffalo chicken sandwich. I hate you bistro French onion. I hate you broccoli cheddar. I hate you chicken noodle. I hate you chicken and wild rice. I hate you Mexican street corn chowder. I hate you creamy tomato. I hate you Thai chicken. I hate you autumn squash. I hate you ten vegetable (even though you are no longer available in select stores). I hate you Greek (with or without chicken) salad. I hate you Asian sesame with chicken salad. I hate you citrus Asian crunch salad. I hate you Cesar (with or without chicken) salad. I hate you green goddess cobb salad. I hate you strawberry poppyseed salad. I hate you Fuji apple salad. I hate you BBQ chicken salad. I hate you salad with the black bean and corn salsa on it that we never have. I hate you seasonal greens salad. I hate you Mac n cheese. I hate you broccoli Mac n cheese. I hate you Mediterranean bowl (with or without chicken). I hate you Baja bowl (with or without chicken). I hate you Terriyaki chicken and broccoli bowl. I hate you cheese pizzza. I hate you margarita pizza. I hate you pepperoni pizza. I hate you chipotle chicken and bacon pizza. I hate you pizza with the sausage on it. I hate you passion papaya green tea. I hate you charged lemonade (mango, Fuji apple cranberry, and strawberry mint). I hate you lemonade. I hate you unsweetened iced tea. I hate you iced coffee. I hate you hot coffee (decaf, hazelnut, dark roast, and light roast). I hate you smoothies (green passion, mango, peach blueberry, strawberry, and strawberry banana). I hate you frozen strawberry lemonade. I hate you chai tea latte (iced or hot). I hate you all specialty coffees. I hate you candy cookie. I hate you chocolate chipper cookie. I hate you oatmeal raisin berry cookie. I hate you lemondrop cookie. I hate you flip flop cookie. I hate you kitchen sink cookie. I hate you pumpkin muffin. I hate you blueberry muffin. I hate you cranberry orange muffin. I hate you chocolate chip muffie. I hate you plain croissant. I hate you chocolate croissant. I hate you bear claw. I hate you vanilla cinnamon roll. I hate you pecan braid. I hate you blueberry scone. I hate you orange scone. I hate you brownie. I hate you pastry ring. I hate you mini scone variety pack. I hate you petit chocolate chip cookie pack. I hate you baguette. I hate you Asiago foccaja. I hate you black pepper focaccia. I hate you classic white miche. I hate you tomato basil miche. I hate you white whole grain loaf. I hate you country rustic sourdough loaf. I hate you classic sourdough load. I hate you sourdough bread bowl. I hate you cibbatta. I hate you plain bagel. I hate you everything bagel. I hate you Asiago bagel. I hate you cinnamon crunch bagel. I hate you cinnamon swirl and raisin bagel. I hate you chocolate chip bagel. I hate you blueberry bagel. I hate you sesame bagel. I hate you sprouted grain flat. I hate you bag of chips. I hate you fruit cup. I hate you yogurt. I hate you baguette chunk. I hate you apple. I hate you avocado and egg white sandwich. I hate you chipotle chicken wrap. I hate you tomato wrap. I hate you breakfast sandwich (on brioche or cibatta, egg scrambled or over easy, with cheese, cheese and bacon, or sausage and cheese). I hate you oatmeal. I hate you parfait. I hate you Panera menu items.

#and that is the Panera menu folks #please don’t fire me I’m a good employee I have your entire menu memorized #I may have missed a salad or something but for the most part this is pretty accurate.#sockblogging

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