#unwillingly lol

[halohamilton]

.

#has anyone else noticed that since Olivia left Harry has started to look his age again.... #I just looked back at their pics #unwillingly lol #and Im like?? omg he actually looks 29 now not 39 #nothing wrong looking older ig #just an observation.............

[thedroloisms]

just an essay bc it's been on my mind but the way that victimhood becomes a weapon on social media is so fucking stupid and counterintuitive to actual advocacy. people wielding "im a victim" as a defense not only in situations actually involving their specific case but also in basically every damn situation in the world is so ???? even in cases involving dream, for example, i will see people using his history as a means of defending him (it's really fucked up that you would accuse a victim of ___, he's an abuse victim i'm sure he won't defend ___ and that he'll ___) and while i understand where that sentiment comes from, the base assumption it's making is...nakedly untrue. and assuming its truthfulness can hurt victims moreso than it helps them.

being a victim isn't moralizing. being a victim doesn't make you a good person. suffering isn't absolution, and going through fucked up shit doesn't make someone "good." people equate abuser = bad person and victim = good person, and then assume that victims are incapable of abusive behavior or "problematic" internalized ideas. an abuser can't be neurodivergent, or mentally ill, or part of a marginalized group, and most importantly an abuser can't be a victim. the boxes of victim and abuser are strictly defined with no overlap. once you've been through something truly, verifiably, Fucked Up (tm), congrats! you get a certificate of eternal victimhood that prevents you from ever being a Real Bad Person ever for the rest of your life.

only that's not how real life works! it's just not! generational trauma leads to cycles of abuse that perpetuate themselves over whole generations of people! the kids that think that it's perfectly fine and a-okay for a parent to physically punish their children don't tend to be the ones with parents that don't lay a finger on them! and you know, it sucks. it sucks that you get nothing out of being hurt, that there's no fucking prize, that there are no suffering vouchers for you to cash in because of the abuse you suffered that can give you good-person-points. it sucks to endure all that shit for nothing. but the opposite idea of suffering making you a good person is the exact reason why some people preach about the miles they walked to school in the driving rain to excuse taking out their shitty temper on their small children.

being abused generally doesn't make one "better." if anything, trauma tends to fuck you up in ways that hurt you...and others. going through shit tends to make people worse. working to get better is something that requires actual conscious effort, not something that you are given as a side effect of going through hell. over and over again, traumatized individuals who are made to feel powerless and given little freedom and ability to change their circumstances, when in a situation where they are given power to some degree over some person, may choose to abuse that power while they're in their own abusive situation or after. part of being a victim of abuse often means having a distorted view of the abuse you've been through! it can mean normalizing fucked up behavior! looking at shit and treating it lightly because you've been taught that it's "not that bad," if you've been taught that it's bad at all! victims aren't granted perfect ideologies from god because they walked through flames--cult survivors usually have to unlearn all sorts of messed up beliefs that were drilled into them--beliefs that many people on twitter would then damn them for, because obviously if you've thought something like that in the past then you're a bigoted hateful individual.

i can only speak from my own experience, but i can't fucking count the number of people i've heard of or met or known personally who have been through some kind of trauma in the past, who are undoubtably victims of abuse, who then go on to act in toxic, manipulative, and abusive ways to others. oftentimes, these people are aware of the fact that they were in abusive situations in the past and make quite a big deal about the fact that they care about victims, as a victim, and want to advocate for them. they're the same people who react extremely negatively to anyone alluding to the idea that they could be abusive--they're not like that, they've been abused, how could anyone accuse them of abusing another person, don't they know how much that hurts with their history. and so on and so forth.

and...i have a lot of sympathy for these individuals, generally speaking. because as mentioned above, being abused in the past doesn't necessarily make it harder for you to be a perpetrator in the future. sometimes--oftentimes, even--it's the opposite. and i feel for them, because going through trauma and being hurt makes you scramble for ways to not be hurt again, and oftentimes the easiest answer for that (and the ways of solving problems as modeled to them in the past!) is control, and controlling another party can very easily slip into manipulative, abusive behavior. especially if you still have internalized ideas mixed in with the fear that surviving abuse entails, internalized ideas that are often left unexamined by people who believe that their victimhood absolves them from any further responsibility. i feel for people who are deathly afraid of ever being seen as terrible people, oftentimes because of the shit that they went through, who seek explanations for their abusers' behavior that make it so much easier to simplify the matter into "they're something separate from me, something that i can never become." i sympathize with the anger and fear and frustration and grief that might never had had a healthy outlet while in a past situation that ends up poured out into places where it shouldn't be in the present, i sympathize with the desire to find reason in being hurt where it doesn't exist, to want there to be something to make the whole damn thing worth it instead of having nothing to take with you but your pain.

but at the end of the day, that's not how life works. that's not how abuse works. yeah, there are abusers who are cruel for cruelty's sake, who are aware of the harm they do and desire to cause more--and there are just as many who genuinely believe that they're doing the right thing, that they're doing good, that they care for the one that they're hurting unselfishly and wholeheartedly. there are many, many people who hurt others because they have been hurt before, and this isn't an excuse--of course not--but refusing to acknowledge the ways that pain can perpetuate itself and blinding oneself to the possibility of their own actions ever being abusive can literally be how this pain continues. it's good to be self aware, it's good to want to do the right thing, but assuming that victims are good people because of the suffering they went through not only means that so-called "bad victims" (or anyone that's not yet Acceptably untangled the thought patterns and actions that have been normalized to them, or anyone who lashes out in quote-unquote appropriate ways as judged by whatever social media council is handing out social justice tickets for the week) get overlooked and ignored, but abusive patterns of behavior are allowed to continue to exist, just in a repackaged form with different language. it's not fair to victims to nail them to this standard of so-called righteousness that is also inextricably connected to their experiences, allowed to be revoked if they're too "abuser" to be "victim" anymore, or to overlook the victims of their behavior because their inherent suffering-borne righteousness keeps them from crossing the line into bad behavior.

at the end of the day, no one deserves abuse, victims deserve to be advocated for, and people who have been through horrific shit didn't deserve to go through horrific shit. but you don't get handed get-out-of-jail-free cards for being treated badly, you know?

#abuse #like ugh it's complicated #but i need people to stop using victimhood as a catchall excuse #and this isn't criticism of like. dr eam btw #who really hasn't ever used anything re: his experiences as an excuse as far as i can remember #it's one thing to say that 'these situations affected my actions' which is half of what this essay is abt #because yeah. going through shit affects your actions ... and not always for the better. #now the other ccs whose opinions ive been unwillingly subjected to over the last few weeks ? lol. lmao. #like look this idea of victimhood earning anyone anything is inherently damaging and completely untrue #sympathy and understanding extended towards abuse victims shouldn't be dependent on the morality points that they falsely earn #as a result of going through fucked up shit

[flowerandblood]

me: this will be an oneshot...

me the next day:...OR NOT

#don't trust me when I speak about how many parts something will have #in 90% of the cases I lie (unwillingly lol)

[non-un-topo]

Kind of obsessed with this nickname actually

#context: chapter 2 of my wip summerwind. 8 or 9 year old nicolo unwillingly receives a prophecy from a leper and it's rather terrifying #the man tells him he will 'fly on red wings for Christ's love' #also this: #'The streets will run rivers of blood and in it you will be baptized anew. Will you feel Christ’s love then boy? I should think not...' #i COULD just share the whole snippet but i'm insecure lol. and it's 700 words. i'll share the whole scene if ppl want but i'm shy #how does the old leper know all of this? idk it's fiction man. he can See it in his Eyes #also the thing about prophecies is that sometimes words like these stick with you for life - #- and your actions after hearing them begin to manifest that kind of future. or something. #yusuf does not get a creepy fortune teller. but he DOES develop a thirst for justice in this chapter #and begins to realize things about the world around him. about injustice and prejudice and expectation. #anyway i feel like i plagiarized 'hell bird'??? but i like it so it's mine now #also i love just sharing awful screenshots of my documents lol i don't know why i do this

[syn0vial]

a few weeks ago, tumblr recommended me a post in which someone was shitting on the locked tomb series, calling it homestuck fanfiction, along with a few out-of-context (and honestly, imo, pretty funny) quotes meant to prove how trashy and lowbrow the humor was. it had about 1000 notes, mostly of people going, “i’ve never read the series and now i’m never going to after seeing this post!!”

anyway, shout-out to all those folks bc that post with all its loud contempt and white-knuckled terror of being found cringe inspired me to finally buy gideon the ninth the next time i saw it at the bookstore and i’ve been enjoying it quite a lot 😊

#the locked tomb #it’d been on my radar for awhile already due to seeing a ton of friends sing its praises #and also one very funny animatic featuring narration from the audiobook #but that post is what pushed me over the edge into actually reading it lol #friends: ‘we love this book!’ me: that’s nice :) #some randos on the internet: ‘ew this book is so cringe’ me: SPITE MOTIVE ACTIVATED #anyway i love gideon. unwillingly goth herbo #also the necromancer-cavalier dynamic? very delicious 👀

[party-skeleton]

media and censorship really do be like that these days :/ protecc and shield the children yes, but do you realise that they WILL, inevitably, experience the world raw someday?? and isnt it better to be aware of the fact that said raw world is not candy land?? isn't it better to be prepared to be slapped in the face, rather than not knowing getting slapped in the face is even an option??

idk

#twitter repost #censorship #lol what #be careful or else kids might get traumatised by weather #unpopular opinion #but #if you can't handle some offense dont partake in social media #or media of any kind really #and this is coming from a person with two vastly different yet insanely strong ptsd triggers #but lemme tell you #it's worse when there's a content or trigger warning #it's worse when people try to keep you in the dark about a subject #it's worse when you are unwillingly thrown into a meltdown only to open the article/media and see it wasnt even that bad in the first place #(at least for me)

[beskad]

not me considering LARPing as catholic to get free access to the church pipe organ

#although is it really “pretending” if you were baptized catholic as a baby #and (however unwillingly) did first reconciliation and first communion and confirmation and etc etc etc #like i was raised catholic (again UNWILLINGLY) and i did my time i have the Traumas to show for it #this would just be me benefitting from time served #i was forced through so many music lessons and now i want to play just for MYSELF #LOL #rray.txt

[joelletwo]

guild scenery viewing date xiang huaizhi is willingly going along with and blowing off his roommate to be riveted to 😭😭 cuuuuuuuute

#jr online dating #<- kjfgdfg u guys remember dating ppl online lol [unwillingly being endeared into nostalgia]

[rosalinastan]

my solution to the cats knocking all my animals on the floor: (minus the platypus which isn't mine and is chowder's pillow every night) JUST WEDGE 'EM IN THERE

#u say bedframe i say hair clip and plush storage #no obv theres no clips above me where id be leaning lol #yes i do know my living situation is tragic rn #posts of the undeniably single lol #why was i about to say posts of the unemployed... im very much employed (she says with bitterness) #trying not to say something aggressively parasocial about the parallels of me and a certain popular blogger living unwillingly w our parents

[roykleinberg]

if I had a nickel for every time the titular character of a beloved franchise was last seen falling into a mysterious body of water in 2010 from which he quite possibly will never emerge I’d have two nickels. which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice.

#a/lan wake and t/ron handshake meme #mr wake did technically get out of his water prison but unclear if he’s just back in there now lol #AND they were both revealed in the third act of their most recent appearances to be the protag turned villain #after being unwillingly corrupted by outside forces #Wild #i’m connecting the dots

[rabbitproduce]

it’s so funny that, not only did ortus write this behemoth of a poetic epic—with a structured meter and everything—about this One Dude. but he also recited it and quoted himself so fucking often no matter where he was, that harrow, through sheer osmosis, can near-perfectly recite it from memory. 

she knows exactly what fucking act he’s quoting from just from a single quote. she knows when he’s fudging on the meter. it’s so fucking funny. unwilling learning through sheer fucking repetition

#tlt #the locked tomb #harrow the ninth #bunnie talk #just how much did ortus recite the noniad for harrow to memorize it unwillingly #LOL

[blaiddraws]

im not familiar with trigun, what happened to emmet's legs?

they grew back don't worry about it

#answered #not art #basically ingo accidentally/unwillingly released a massive. gun thing. that destroyed an entire city and also blasted emmet's legs off #not a fun time for all parties involved! #spoilers for the anime/manga i guess lmao #gunsmoke au #it took like. twenty years i think? for him to fully regenerate tho lol

[terrorbirb]

Manifesting: plz make me actually get a new job once my wife goes on disability

I'm looking at research lab management jobs at universities because our bat lab was not run well (lol) and other labs were not run well, and I can keep an entire small business afloat through overworking myself

#totes bro #i do not have a masters #but what i do have is years of experience purchasing industrial goods selling industrial goods speccing out and designing them #and i can do literally any job in an organization EXCEPT closing the books at the end of the month lol I'm not doing that #but i can do accounts payable and accounts receiable i can arrange logistics i supervise a production team #i used to do sales calls i do all purchasing i unwillingly do business development because my boss asks me what we should do as a company #i schedule I have figured out how to use our ERP system more efficiently than many larger companies with it #and most importantly: i clean things #which no one else ever does #this is me just pumping myself up in 3 months i can leave..... #ill have to move? which im terrified of #i love using my blog for this kind of post because 4 years from now im going to be like “aweeee” #oh i also do engineering and the sales engineer doesnt do engineering so i literally do all engineering outside of product design #while doing everything else #But i dont have a masters degree so we'll see what happens #i also think universities hire from within for this type of thing #but i personally think they should hire me 🥰 #Because university labs are like fish out of water when they try to buy components to enact their ideas #i know because in addition to bat lab i have many university customers who have no idea whats happening or how to submit POs #my lab literally did not know how to send out RFQs? or ask for quotes? people do free engineering for you to sell you stuff #we were an engineering lab and didnt send out RFQs for components we just looked at ehat was available to buy online #??????? i dont know how they survive

[swordtit]

im so used to having my steps refuse to work with hg on principal but maybe i let siofia do it willingly....

#speaking #its funny bc shes the only one who can resist the threading too #i do think she's afraid of hg... maybe thats a good incentive... #zoeya is afraid of hg and took the puppet. so that stopped that relationship from starting regardless #k works alone and then got PISSED when hg tried to kill them #jordan wants to take hg's place but got threaded and works for them unwillingly #so siofia would be the only one of the bunch with a positive relationship with hg lol

[dutyworn]

WHAT KIND OF VILLAIN ARE YOU?

unwillingly evil. you were forced. your resolve was broken slowly but surely, and now you're unsure of whether you'll ever get it back. for some reason, you believe that your current position is your fault. it isn't. it's the fault of those who did it to you. and yet you soldier on, facing forwards even as you slowly lose your will to continue. when you die, you're calm. unafraid for the first time in a while. this is the one thing they can't take from you.

tagged by: @virmireisms, thanks! tagging: @lovepurposed (francis, marin), @anderwhohn (izzy, nihlus), @chaotiicgoods (lenna), @unboundtravels (scarf), @drdumaurier

#is there any other way lol #I CRAVE FOR VILLAIN WREN #the only way that's possible is unwillingly #; per aspera ad astra ❪ character study. ❫

[ladychandraofthemoone]

It’s Tough to be a God

here’s Kyle pondering on many things like he and Stanley wondering on where to go out, trying to convince Fred not to steal his golden whistle to go to alternative dimensions watching over the forest near the railway, he got into an a scruffle again the list drags on

also not so fun fact Kyle doesn’t wear his hair long after a majority of time with the scientists along with passengers, workers and just other folks constantly touching, grabbing, yanking even cutting his hair off when he was asleep under the belief it would grant them magical properties or protection or for examination (some stranger chopped his hair off when he was sleeping in humaniod au)

so for his own safety (though Kyle laughs and saids it was a hassle to take care of) he keeps it as short as possible though he once wore it long when he was inside the lamp cause I refuse to believe it gotta let Kyle go off so easily, he’s bonded to it so I imagine this pic takes place in the future when he isn’t so much if a danger magnet but also cause my mind is like “LONG HAIR KYLE LONG HAIR KYLE-“

#ttte #ttte proteus #kyle proteus #ttte humanized #humanization #my art stuff #my art #my art style #my art lmao #my art owo #my art lol #my art <3 #my artz #When I say bonded I mean it unwillingly the lamp won’t gotta drop off it’s latest proteus #But yeah I refuse to believe that once Kyle is “freed” it won’t be easy for him #As he attempts to try and assimilate himself into society once more with so many changes #Despite everyone’s efforts including himself folks find out he was proteus and you know how’s that’s gotta turned out #Jerks who have so many expectations or misconceptions on Kyle like they demand or are disappointed in him for not being able to grant wish #If they can’t have wishes they realized dude was the lucky lamp so they gotta demand him to grant him good fortune