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crossfoxbuns · 6 months

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I’m in the midst of reinventing how I deal with social media.

Right now I got 3 social media accounts. (I don’t count chat apps since they aren’t “one-to-public” kind of things) I’ve got this tumblr account, a mastodon/fediverse, and a bluesky. And none of them have been all that satisfying to use, both as a reader and as a poster. (Mostly as a reader. I don’t wanna brag, but my posts have been read by at LEAST seven people worldwide.)

So I’ve been rethinking. And it comes down to posting certain things on certain accounts, and being deliberate about what is on my feed in each place. Here’s what I’ve got so far.

Bluesky

This is the place where the people I actually, personally know are. So I’m going to keep it that way. I’ll pare back who I’m following to just be friends. I’ll interact with them and post stuff that is a bit more personal, but okay for the public to see. Bluesky ain’t private after all.

Mastodon

The server I’m on and contribute to is focused toward furry technical engineers. As such I’ll probably keep it to that - that is to say, mostly work stuff or stuff a technical crowd would find interesting. I’ll trim down my feed to include that sort of thing to match. By trimming that list and by taking more advantage of mastodon’s awesome feed control I can get a feed full of techno-juiciness without the political, doomscroll-y stuff that’s also pretty common there.

In paring down the bluesky and mastodon feeds it means unfollowing a lot of artists and creators that I do actually want to keep up with. There’s an idea for that though - later

Tumblr

Tumblr’s in a weird place. It’s the old kid on the block but also somehow the freshest? The big thing that Tumblr has going for it out of these three is that there’s no real limit on the posts. I can ramble.

I like rambling.

So that’s why you’re seeing this post here. I got the room to express a whole idea, something I can’t do with bluesky’s 200-something characters or mastodon’s 1000-ish characters. (And that’s after using a forked version of mastodon that lets you up the limit from the usual 500)

Long form posts will go here, on Ye Olde Blog Platform. I think there will be more ways of defining what gets posted here, but I don’t know what that is yet, since I just started. I’ll figure this out as I go. As for the feed here I’m kinda ignoring it honestly. The idea eventually is to automate a thing to grab the posts from this blog (and my other socials if I can figure it out) and drop them into a big repository of “things I posted online”. Then I can use that repo when I eventually redo my personal website. Why build myself a CMS when every other platform already has, and with a way I can share my stuff built-in?

Let the corpos do the coding and heavy lifting, I’ll just nab my content as I go and keep it in my little box. :3

RSS - Really Still Something

Yeah, RSS ain’t dead yet. Oddly enough, it’s more alive than ever! Every tumblr blog has a feed. Same with every WordPress blog, every mastodon account, and oh, how about EVERY PODCAST IN EXISTENCE.

RSS is going nowhere. Which is why my main reading feed of choice isn’t any of these socials, it’s my dang RSS reader. Almost a hundred webcomics, and almost a thousand more blogs, artists, news sources, YouTube channels (yup they got RSS too), and more, all sorted into different feed flavors, ready for me to read through, chronologically, without ads or scripts that slow the site down, whenever.

That is where the creators I’m no longer following on socials went. Somewhere where it’s impossible for them to get lost in the feed, because the little badge will nag at me that there’s something to read until I’ve seen everything. No algorithm to satiate, no firehose to get drowned in.

The downside of course is that if you’re an artist who doesn’t post on anywhere with an RSS (looking at you, FA), then I can’t see you. Sorry. There’s feeds for like almost everything out there, and if you’re only on FurAffinity and Twitter and that’s it, then I can’t help you, sorry.

Maybe that’s another post for the future. Some of these service’s RSS feeds are pretty well hidden, but they’re there. A post for a later date, though. This one has dragged on enough.

That’s what my social media use kinda looks like at the moment. I post and interact lightly but deliberately, though most of my reading/following is done over RSS.

Enjoyed the TED talk? There’s plenty more where that came from. Leave a note or a blaze or whatever it is tumblr does nowadays. I don’t mind shouting into the void, it’s pretty therapeutic, but it is nice to be heard now and then, especially with word counts like this. Anyway, until the next one!~

#blog #intro post #social media #rss feed #ranting about the state of the world #furry

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stopscammingartists · 7 months

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I haven't had the time to look through all of this blog. Like you mentioned, you out it on hiatus and I unfollowed. I only recently saw warnings about Glip start to make rounds again.

Makes sense! I would have unfollowed me too then.

In that case the links I shared should be good to get you started. if you want to catch up. There was also an entire website I helped put together that covers some new + a lot of old stuff.

But long story short. Rina posted her zine about how she was emotionally/sexually abused by the community earlier this year and it circled the wagons.

Rina's zine got me angry enough to come out of retirement fully, gave both Jolly and @hexcryingwolf courage to publicly talk about what Flora put them through. The increased attention + accessibility of information from the new website got some youtubers interested in covering Glip too. I mentioned the Webcomic Relief in my response but there where also some videos made by a youtuber insomniacloserxo that aren't online anymore. (His account got hacked around the time his FNAF content blew up in popularity on his second account so he just stuck with the FNAF stuff.)

So it's just been a constant stream of talking about this stuff, old and new, personal or not, with more people coming forward in some way to talk about what the community did to them by the day. Which I think is getting to Glip.

#floraverse #glitchedpuppet #forbidden flora #forbiddenflora #foxflux #fox flux #glip #pengosolvent

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justconstantly · 2 years

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just unfollowed approximately 200 blogs, the amount of webcomics and old fandom blogs I've been following since highschool that haven't updated since 2017 🙈

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unpretty · 2 years

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i can't imagine unfollowing someone due to inactivity, if i followed someone because i liked their fanart and then they left because they got a job in animation i want to be the first to know if they come back

#original #they were last active six years ago but no i will not unfollow them #i am also subscribed to several rss feeds from websites that no longer exist #but someday... someday that webcomic might come back #and perhaps when that day comes they will set up their new website so that the old rss links still work #(because they're still using wordpress)

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typefacebear · 2 years

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Actually as a 21 year old mlm i am tired of all of our stories being depressing or angsty and maybe it’s fine for people to make cute fluffy fun things without being treated like children for liking them. I’m not gonna argue about a webcomic that makes me happy, so i’m just gonna unfollow.

You're on anon why did you send this ask as if I would care? But also nobody ever said that mlm things can't be cute and fluffy, iirc that post says so explicitly, but I don't think that its too much to ask for something cute and fluffy and mlm to also be good lmao

#typing sounds #for real our issue isnt that that comic is cute or lighthearted our issue is that its saccharine and feels soulless and pandering #also iirc that comic is made by an mlm trans man so how does it feel so disingenuous

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wangjiplayingwangji · 3 years

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honestly it’s really funny bc i’ve been following you for a long time now (even though i cant remember your old url for the life of me) so i don’t want to unfollow but i don’t know anything about mzds, i just see reblogs of a couple pretty asian guys pop up on my dash from time to time and i’m always like “oh hey it’s them! those guys. them and their mz and their ds” keep at it

Oh this is so sweet!!!! I’m so glad you decided to stick around 🥺❤️❤️❤️ tbh I do still love jojo so I’m one of the rare few that was big into jojo but still likes it rather than suddenly hating it which I don’t get but y brain is simple monkey brain and my adhd only lets me hyper fixate on one thing at a time so I may go back and draw some more jojo art for the people that decided to stick around ☺️

But this really made me happy and I really appreciate the support!! It’s just, ahhh it just warms my cold little soul. Aaaaand since I’m a little garbage monster I’m going to take a moment to just be like, if you’re interested in a fantastic Chinese mlm danmei story with found family, conspiracy and murder mystery wrapped up with an wonderfully angsty/comedy bow I’d recommend mdzs 👀 there’s also many wonderful adaptations of the original novel like a live action(that due to censorship is basically its own canon but I love it anyway) an audio drama (my FAVORTE ITS GLORIOUS) a manhua (a digital webcomic) and a donghua (Chinese animation) I’d recommend checking it out!!! It’s very good ahaha. If you’re interested feel free to send another ask and I can provide you with some more details/links. (Also the end chapters are explicitly 18+ so just. Bewareee)

BUT ANYWAY I’ve kept you long enough I’ll shut up know but moral of the story is thank you so so much for your message I loved getting it and hopefully you’ll continue to enjoy my content!! Thank you!!

#sweet anon!#thanks for asking!!#ahh this made me really happy #I’m so glad there are so many of you that stayed and continue to enjoy my new content #I think the biggest compliment is when you stay even when you’re not in the same fandom so truly thank you!!#she answers #my asks #mdzs

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uranium · 3 years

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please stop simping over a racist 40 year old webcomic artist i fucking beg you i dont want to unfollow

oh i know i fucking do not like it either i admit that he looks cool but if i saw him in real life i would still absolutely beat the shit out of him and leave him to rot i did NOT forget what he said in the book commentary

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savedpeople · 3 years

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Send ☠️ for something that will result in a instant unfollow from you // Send 🔪 for a fandom you refuse to associate with

Munday No and Yes List | Accepting | @wexarethewalkingxdead

I don’t think there’s ever been an instant unfollow from me. It tends to be an accumulation of things that eventually leads to me unfollowing. I could imagine someone being blatantly homophobic, racist, etc. might earn an unfollow. Finding out someone did something horrible to a close friend would probably do it too. The closest thing to an instant unfollow I can think of is the time I caught a now ex-mutual of mine sending anon hate while like... openly throwing a tantrum about the person on their blog. I was already debating unfollowing for other reasons but after seeing that, I left. I don’t want to associate with behavior like that.

For fandoms I refuse to associate with... I was going to say there aren’t any, but since I mentioned it in another ask earlier: Hetalia. It’s an anime/webcomic. I was really active in the fandom in 2011/2012. So much cringe has come out of that fandom that out of every fandom I’ve been in, that’s the one I’m too embarrassed to admit I was ever a part of. There are others I’m hesitant to say I’ve been associated with but that’s the one where like... I won’t ever show my old blog to anyone. I dread being asked what my first muse was (like earlier lol) because I don’t want to admit it. Even talking about it right now is bringing up not great memories and making me want to crawl into a hole.

#wexarethewalkingxdead #✘ || I ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴅᴏ ᴀᴘᴘʀᴇᴄɪᴀᴛᴇ ᴏᴜʀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴛᴀʟᴋs ( ᴏᴏᴄ ᴀsᴋs )#i met some of my best friends in that fandom so yknow i won't say i regret ever being involved. some good came out of it #and if not for it i may have never gotten into rp #but it's just. really embarrassing now for so many reasons #i have no idea what it's like these days and i have no interest finding out

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comicteaparty · 4 years

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November 23rd-November 29th, 2019 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from November 23rd, 2019 to November 29th, 2019. The chat focused on the following question:

How do you personally deal with hiatuses, both in regards to planned and unplanned breaks?

carcarchu

I feel very guilty when I go on unplanned hiatuses and I avoid going to tapas and webtoons at all until I've got an update completed. i'm scared to see comments complaining about the lack of updates and how many people have unfollowed me in the meantime. i also find it very hard to bounce back from a hiatus. when i've got a groove going it's easier to keep the momentum than it is to start again after a prolonged absence

Deo101

Kinda a rough question haha. I don't go on any hiatuses other than unplanned ones. It's only out of necessity, in the past I did it if school/health got rough, and I'd try to be back the next week with a normal update!!! However.. I have a second comic which has been on hiatus for a year. I miss making it, but I lost the person who I was working with on it so it has been hard to start again. I'm kind of not really dealing with it, as the anxiety of starting again gets worse the longer it's been! But, I know that the only way to get out of it is to just do it, and I have to do it as soon as I can or it will never end. So, I just work my way through them to get back on schedule.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

So far I've only taken one official hiatus, after I finished the second chapter of the comic - I worked on the next chapter's pages for the next two months, then came back and luckily haven't been off hiatus since.

I have another planned hiatus after the next chapter, and this time, I'll be accepting guest art to fill the space - it's not something I was aware was a thing until it was suggested to me. It'll be interesting to come up with a cool way to feature any art I receive. I like the idea of highlighting other artists' work while I'm taking a breather!

eli [a winged tale]

There’s such a huge mental barrier for me when it comes to announcing a hiatus but ultimately life and health come first. I have a comic on hiatus since 2015 (one day it’ll come back haha), and sometimes things happen to push my current one back for updates. I want to tell myself that since I’m producing free content, it should be for fun and not a source of stress (despite industry standards and what I want to achieve). It’s a balance. I think the readers who wait are the ones I am most grateful and treasure.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I have chronic health issues that can be very debilitating, so having hiatuses is something I have to deal with all the time. I might be able to update regularly for a few months, but eventually and inevitably, a sudden hiatus will come. It’s something that causes me a lot of stress on top of an already stressful situation. Readers leave, and then when I’m well enough to work, I don’t just have to churn out as many pages as I can while I can, I also have to rebuild my audience all over again. I hate going on hiatuses and having such an unstable update schedule, but there’s not much I can do about it.(edited)

Cronaj

Aw man... I also have been dealing with chronic health conditions, so I feel you. I finally got treatments that have been working, so I'm able to update consistently now. That being said, I was on hiatus for a year and a half until just recently. It really did destroy the momentum I was building up, and readers I had accumulated. Because of that, I am determined not to take long hiatuses anymore (a week-a month at most) and to announce it beforehand. I do find it important to prioritize health and mental well-being above my comic, but I find my mental health suffering every time I neglect to update my comic, so I find a middle ground by taking short breaks occasionally. Moral of the story: build up a buffer, kids. Don't be like me.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Yeah, same. I'm still trying to get a diagnosis, but I'm kind of an outlier in medicine- my body chemistry is very atypical. I build up those buffers whenever I can, but they always run out sooner or later. I love making comics so much that my mental health suffers, too. I get depressed if I'm not making progress on my comics. I'm really glad you've found a treatment that helps, though! I hope I can too, one of these years.

eli [a winged tale]

What is this mystical buffer everyone keeps talking about

I jest. Keep up the great work everyone! Everyone is trying their best and that’s most important

Capitania do Azar

I always take a small hiatus on the end of each chapter so I can rest and work on writing the next one, usually for a couple months.

sssfrs

I generally take my time with updates anyway. I've lost followers after hiatuses (strangely people only actually started unfollowing me after I came back with a new update) but I'm more focused on getting more of my comic done and progressing towards it being a finished work than keeping a consistent audience. Even though it would be nice...

DanitheCarutor

Fff coincidentally I'm going on a planned hiatus in December. At the end of every chapter I go on one to get feedback, and have some downtime to better plan the next chapter, as well as to get build some buffer. Usually during this time I either hold a Q&A, or do a call for guest art/comics, and I only ever plan to be on break for a month. I don't like being away for longer than that, and the intermission stuff (Q&A's, call for guest art) is announced a month or so beforehand, that way no one is scrambling when the scheduled break starts. As far as an unplanned hiatus, I don't usually have any with my current project. There have been times I've missed the posting deadline due to my fulltime job, but would post either once the page is done or the next week. With my old comic I took a lot of unannounced breaks, not so much because I was busy but I was going through a lot of crap, and morale was really low. It didn't help that it was my very first real attempt at making comics, so I had no idea what I was doing, the story was also hot garbage and became more of a chore to work as time went on. Eventually I just stopped, went on perma-hiatus totally unannounced to this day. I should have let my readers know, but I was really ashamed of myself for not wanting to work on the project (I promised I would complete it), and with a bunch of things suddenly happening in my life I forgot. I'll probably have to go in an unannounced break someday. A lot of things can happen, and being a traditional art only comic creator I'll probably end up running out of supplies eventually, needing to scrounge up some money for more. The nice thing is soooome, hopefully most, of my readers would understand? They know my comic is super time consuming, and that I've been working on it nonstop for 4-5 years now, so they should? Maybe? Hopefully that won't happen, though!

keii4ii

For those of you who take a break after each chapter, how many pages go in an average-length chapter?

🌈ERROR404 🌈

depends on how you're planning to set up your story, whether u want to prioritize to certain print sizes, but the general average chapter size is about 30 pages

Cronaj

I hadn't been planning to take a break between chapters, but we'll see what actually happens. I have chapters ranging from 35-50 pages in length(edited)

DanitheCarutor

Not sure how everyone else is, but I wing it with chapter length. The chapter I'm currently capping off will be 57 pages, although 30-45ish pages is preferred.

eli [a winged tale]

47 for me for this first chapter!

keii4ii

Cool! Was mostly asking a "so how frequently do you take scheduled post-chapter breaks" worded differently

sssfrs

I do 8-12.. I wish I could do more

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I am taking a short holiday break (that was actually planned this time) in between Eryl chapters. My Eryl chapters usually run 30-35 pages, and the break will be around..., 3 weeks I think? I can’t remember exactly. I’m probably going to have to put it back on hiatus partway through the chapter when my buffer runs out because of the aforementioned chronic health issues, though.

spacerocketbunny

I've only taken one hiatus and that was just while my site was being built! But even then we were able to have a short extra comic updating on an alternative site for that time being. We've been updating consistently for 5 years and that's thanks to the stability we've been lucky to have and the fact that there's two of us sharing the work. We've been able to work ahead enough so we've never ran out of a buffer, I'm pretty proud of that tbh(edited)

DanitheCarutor

@keii4ii Oh! So you were asking the time frame in which a chapter is finished? Correct me if I'm wrong. Normally each chapter takes about a year to complete, sometimes a couple months more than that. (for me, that is.)

spacerocketbunny

Nothing wrong with a hiatus though, especially after chapter breaks, I think those are pretty good to keep yourself from burning out!

Cronaj

I do 2-3 pages a week, so I finish a new chapter... about every 4-6 months

keii4ii

I appreciate the answers, everyone!

AntiBunny

I answered this one on Twitter, but I'll answer more at length here. FIrst of all I think a distinction should be made between a Hiatus, which is a planned break, and an extended delay, which is more missed updates compounding with each other.

The former is easier to deal with. Announce it with a clear return date.

The latter is rougher. The artist hasn't planned it, and feelings of guilt can make it harder and harder to return. The best thing to do in that case is to again, get out ahead of it. When you're delayed point people to your social media, and keep posting to make it clear you're still working, or if work has halted completely at least keep posting to let them know when you will be working on it again.

Either way I try to avoid even using the word "hiatus" because webcomic readers tend to read it as "abandoned." Sadly they're all too often right to do so.

Cronaj

Yeah, usually, when announcing a hiatus to my readers, I like to use the word "break" instead

It's a bit softer for some reason

You know, I am 95% certain that my readers thought I had abandoned the project—or died—when I disappeared for a year and a half

Because I know that I have gotten invested in a comic, only for the creator to go incognito

And I always wonder... Are they alright?

keii4ii

I usually figure either life got too busy, or the creator outgrew the project. Or both.

AntiBunny

I know. I stopped updating for almost a year because I wasn't happy with the planned ending of Nailbat. I lost readers I still haven't regained over that one.

In retrospect "waiting for inspiration" was not the ideal way to handle that.

Cronaj

Yeah, the fact that I returned at all is pretty crazy, from a reader's perspective(edited)

I've seen more abandoned projects than I have, "Hey sorry guys! Was dealing with stuff, but now I'm back!"

I mean, it happens

But very infrequently in comparison to the previous sadly(edited)

AntiBunny

Combine the fact that not updating is easier than updating, and the guilt of not updating making you feel like your return has to be even more awesome with every missed update, so you build for yourself a unsalable mountain of imagined expectation, and you have a recipe for abandonment.

Cronaj

Yep!

I'm still trying to regain my momentum

And I always feel so bad if I publish a less-than-stellar page

AntiBunny

There's also the fact that people grow and change. One problem with long form story webcomics is that an artist can outgrow their story.

Cronaj

That is so true

AntiBunny

The most successful tend to be the ones that can grow and change with the artist.

Cronaj

As a novelist as well, I can say that is incredibly accurate

I have dropped so many novels after writing 30k words or more

The only project I've stayed faithful to for over 5 years IS my current comic project

AntiBunny

Sluggy Freelance for example is very different today than when it began. Gunnerkrigg Court as well, and I like to think mine can too.

Though I'll admit I do have a character I've outgrown, and it bugs me people want to see her again.

Cronaj

I think that's just a desire for closure, and for things to come together in the end

AntiBunny

She was more of a comic relief character really. her sort of humor just isn't something I want to write anymore. That kind of edgelord "lol murder," humor isn't something I can write anymore. And unlike the core cast who've grown so that they don't have to come from the same place I was years ago, she hasn't.

I may be drifting off topic a bit there. Anyway I think it serves well as a reminder that for a long term story the characters need to grow with the artist to keep a comic going.

keii4ii

Not every story is meant to grow with the trends, and that's 100% fine. Just means you have to accept the risk of potentially outgrowing the project.

Using the word "trends" pretty broadly

Mine is not very adaptable, and I can't imagine making it more adaptable without altering its core. It doesn't make it less worthy as a story, just... yeah, bigger risk

seetherabbit

I always took breaks or "hiatus" way before I ran out of pages I could in theory add to the buffer

that way I could more easly relax

but also so I don't have to take an hiatus in the middle of a story

Pistashi

everyone needs a break sometimes

I've been updating and working constantly not only on my comic, but alto my yt channel and freelance jobs (because money is always welcomed, even tho I HATE FREELANCE WITH ALL MY CORE)

but I feel like I got momentum now and I dont wanna stop suddendly

sometimes I feel exhausted but then one day later or after 10h of sleep Im fine

I'll take a break later for sure, but rn I feel like this weight of responsibility is helping me build my work ethics

because we cant work just when we are inspired, we dont have that luxury :P

we cant overwork either, so we gotta be smart with our breaks and hiatuses

mathtans

I've been on hiatus more times than I want to count. One of those things where not having much of an audience helps... if no one's really saying much, they either continue not to say anything, or suddenly surface to wish you well.

I will say that I like concluding arcs. My first hiatus was when my wife went into hospital for a bit, I said I'd return but didn't know when. Most of my other hiatuses have been at the ends of arcs... and I'll add that while they were breaks from the comic, they weren't from content. I put up a few behind-the-scenes things, explaining backstory, and had a friend write a column for me too. I've seen other comics do similar, or use guest art.

And for those of you wondering "who's this guy", I've been on hiatus since my daughter was born. Meaning we're going on 17 months. (I may not return to comic work. I have another website I run where I do serials that I'm still maintaining.)

Phin (Heirs of the Veil)

In most cases I take a hiatus at the end of a chapter. I have taken two official hiatuses and I think there were some shorter, inofficial ones that I had to take because of other obligations like my studies/family issues/freelance work or finishing books for print. Personally I have managed to not get myself too worked up about hiatuses. I'm doing comics for free and I can't live off of them, so it's inevitable to take breaks. Though I have to say I'm starting into a new chapter without having to go on hiatus, which is pretty neat C:

Pistashi

@Phin (Heirs of the Veil) thats niice! its like the more we work on comics the better (and faster) we get, so keeping the momentum between chapters without a hiatus is an awesome thing! Its the little things tbh

also, you're right. its inevitable to take breaks. specially when you're not working full time and can't live off of them. and like @mathtans said, responsibility shows up and sometimes we have to put things aside

like having a daugther! thats awesome dude! hope your family is doing well (and I know you said you might not get back to comics, but if its something you enjoy keep it up when you're free! making comics is fun) ahdksjnd

Neguri-Senpai-Author

I've actually never gone on a hiatus ever since I started really doing my comic. I can't really go on any hiatuses because I market mine as a weekly comic and additionally I have an oddly strong obsession over consistently in my life so I just feel really really weird if I'd do something like a break from my comic even if I needed it ^^; But currently it's not really that bad. I've been consistent with weekly uploads for a bit over a year now (I've started doing it weekly in September of 2018) and I don't plan on going on a hiatus any time soon. Maybe I'll work a bit in advance but I'm not gonna go on a hiatus to get a break

Phin (Heirs of the Veil)

@Pistashi Yeah it's really nice when you finally get a little faster because you optimized your workflow

mathtans

@Pistashi Thanks! Family's doing great, but yeah, most of my free time goes to writing rather than drawing these days. We'll see how things play out.

Desnik

I didn't spotlight my hiatus, but when I finally return to acknowledge it, I'd like to have something to show for it, like a new project or 'this is where I am now' or 'This is what the comic meant to me' so that at least my readers get closure

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #comic tea party #ctp #creator interview #comic creator interview #creator babble

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tymime · 5 years

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getting stuff off my chest

I’d like to move on, so maybe saying it out loud will help... it’s been gnawing at me for years now.

About ten years ago, I made an online friend. I had recently had a nasty fight with a different online “friend”, who turned out to be truly awful, but that’s another can of worms. So this new friend was helping me recover, although she kinda didn’t know it. I was going a dark period of my life in general- depression, anxiety, self-loathing, even dread. She helped me get through the darkness. This was because she was an incredibly sweet, kind person at the time- she had this naive, child-like personality, insisting on family-friendly entertainment only, and remaining pure of heart and mind. It was refreshing and inspiring. She also loved old school cartoons, and she was an artist. She really liked our artwork and shared a lot of the same interests.

...It was all hunky-dory until she started ignoring me. To this day I can’t figure out why. It started happening rather suddenly: she stopped commenting on our artwork- art I was submitting to deviantArt that I was certain she’d like- and stopped liking our Tumblr posts even though I was sure she’d agree with us. Now what kind of friend does that? She may not have known how much she meant to me, but it was completely incongruous with everything she had done before. At the same time she started posting about cartoons and fandoms I didn’t like. Normally I can ignore this- everybody has different tastes, and we're not always going to agree on everything- but there was so much of it, and it started overwhelming everything she had previously been a fan of. No more Looney Tunes, no more Roger Rabbit, just a bunch of anime and webcomics with boring and/or ugly characters and boring premises. I had to add it all to my Tumblr Black List just to stay sane.

Then she changed almost completely. She had discovered she was asexual. Normally I could ignore this sort of thing- I mean, Don Lemon is my favorite news reporter, so being some shade of LGBT or whatever doesn’t usually bug me- but she talked about it every single day like it was the most important thing in her life. Day after day, it was sex sex sex. Not just asexual issues, but just plain SEX. Sex and sexuality and gender and all that BS. It was almost all she ever talked about. Suddenly the charming naivety was gone- the pureness and sweetness that I had grown to admire was replaced by negativity and bodily functions. How is an asexual person so obsessed about sex? And this is coming from a guy who’s supposed to have lust problems. It eventually got to the point where I had to unfollow her- all this hot button issue stuff, all these controversial topics she had started to obsess over... it was stuff that I had become friends with her to avoid and forget about. Reading her posts became stressful and depressing, the opposite of why I became friends with her. And I never felt comfortable confronting her about it- after all, why would she answer after not talking to me for over a year?

And so we unceremoniously split up. I’m not even sure she ever noticed me going missing- I felt like I had faded into the background, even though I had been one of her best friends once. At least, that’s what I thought. In any case, it hurt my feelings being ignored, and seeing her becoming nasty and negative and impure. For so long I’ve felt sort of dirty and tainted for some of the things I think and do, and I felt like I had found somebody better than me. I was bitterly disappointed to see her become like everybody else. Her artwork from back then still inspires me. So imagine my further disappointment when I look at her latest artwork and find that she no longer draws in an old school cartoon style. She draws like everybody else- the same semi-realistic style that launched a thousand Magic the Gathering illustrations. I don’t even recognize her style anymore.

Somebody truly special in my life became corrupted and boring like everyone else.

#stuff #personal stuff #unpopular opinion

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