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#uncle has lumbago
dutchieliciousplans · 2 months
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Lunch with the Marston family at beecher hope kinda day 👌
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(Sorry for the bad quality image 😩)
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rdr2 as teachers
Dutch van der Linde: teaches social studies and sometimes history, goes on weird rants about his ideologies, he grades on a whim, students have a love hate relationship with him, is the principal but he really shouldn't be
Hosea Matthews: chill geography teacher that used to also teach physics, is generally good but his homeworks are usually hard to understand, you will get a good grade if you show effort and talk to him, leads an afternoon drama club and was a principal for several years
Arthur Morgan: teaches english literature but also pe and also sometimes physics? He also taught math for a year when times were rough. Everyone knows him and he knows everyone, thinks he's not a good teacher but students act good and get good grades with him (they're intimidated), sometimes hangs around in afternoon art clubs
John Marston: math teacher on an art school (yes this specific), none of his students will ever study math so why should he try, let's everyone pass as long as they're not acting up, usually late to class but no one cares
Javier Esquella: music teacher and an extra for spanish classes, his students only sing in his class, no work unless you make him mad, is known for talking shit about other teachers in spanish
Bill Williamson: PE teacher who yells at his students too damn much BUT is actually ok to meet outside of school, will get drunk with his (of age) students on field trips
Micah Bell: the teacher that got kicked out for students complaining, still shows up on some school actions because Dutch always asks him to help with making sure they act right
Charles Smith: really smart chemistry and biology teacher, actually explains it well, strict but students love him type,leadss the longest routes on field trips with Arthur, they usually make them even longer
Sean Macquire: Teacher assistant, no one knows what exactly he studied, just hangs around, will trashtalk teachers without asking, tells students the curent drama happening between staff
Lenny Summers: Teacher assistant finishing up his studies to become history teacher, popular with the students, has lots of energy, sometimes takes over classes when teachers are sick or tired
Sadie Adler: PE teacher who goes hard but also will force you to not participate after you get hurt ("I DO NOT CARE YOU JUST GOT HIT AND YOU BARELY STOPPED THAT NOSEBLEED SIT DOWN."), no one knew that she had a husband until he one day randomly picked her up from school, once got drunk on a prom and finally told her students about her life
Karen Jones: Chemistry teacher who breaks all lab rules, mainly shows them the fun stuff, the rumor is that she knows how to make alcohol very easily, also leads the afternoon drama club with Hosea
Tilly Jackson: Works in the office, helps students with paperwork or with anything they need to, is one of the reasons the school is still running because she fixes Dutchs paperwork mistakes
Mary-Beth Gaskill: english-literature and english language teacher, is the one to help rewrite the plays for the drama clubs, overall helps them a lot, has an after school reading club, they read mainly female and lesserknown authors
Uncle: janitor, doesn't do shit, just hangs around the school, will yell at you for walking inside in outside shoes, no one takes him seriously, some students have a habit to say "I didn't do my homework, I have lumbago!" because of him, mainly in Johns class
Abigail Roberts: Also works in the office, taught math for a year (that's how she got to know John), refuses to fix Dutchs mistakes, small Jack hangs around in the school sometimes, students like him and play with him
Susan Grimshaw: The main lady in the office and also the vice-principal, students thought she and Dutch were maried LMAOO, she shot down those rumors real fast, students either love her or hate her
Pearson: school cook who also has an afternoon cooking class, sometimes forces his students to answer yes chef, smells weird and tells weird stories
Leopold Strauss: German teacher who also takes care of the school money and makes lectures once a year about finance world, the students don't like him but some respect him in a sense that he knows how money works and teaches them real stuff
Josiah Trelawny: randomly shows up and gives lectures about whatever, no one knows if he actually works here or not, does he even have a title? does he have any idea how to teach? The students find him hilarious, also ALWAYS shows up for students proms and somehow knows who your parents and siblings are
Orville Swanson: Teaches social studies with focus on religion, nearly got kicked out several times for going to school drunk, did cry once in class
Kieran Duffy: Biology teacher, half of the students ignore him, the other half pity him, hangs around the book club because of Mary-Beth, the students ship it, once ranted for an entire class about horses
Molly O'Shea: Dutch hired her just because she's pretty, she teaches music and art mainly, eventhough she studied literature, but Susan refuses to give her other classes (she was mad at Dutch for bringing her to school), she is the teacher students have a crush on
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If The Van der linde gang lived in a big house together (HC) PART 1
General:
- there is always noise and commotion throughout the house
- There is always someone home
- The house can become very messy from dishes to laundry
- The favorite room is the living room where the tv is.
- some members have to share a room like Tilly & Marybeth
- Others need their own rooms like Micah, Hosea, Dutch & Arthur
- The kitchen is usually a mess for someones always using the microwave
- some people are good at keeping up with chores like Abigail or Charles.
Dutch
- Believes he is in charge of the whole house despite that when an argument breaks out he ends up hiding in his room.
- thinks he always has a plan of how to get the gang out of the house for daily excursions though he will just end up leaving by himself.
- his room is on the second floor.
- a lot of times he has Molly tailgating him from room to room. This can get pretty annoying
- not really into grocery shopping but sends people out like Arthur or miss Grimshaw. His requests always includes mangoes.
- sits at the head of the dining table
- likes to watch tv after dinner as it relaxes him but it doesn’t take long for the sitting room to become very crowded.
Uncle
- doesn’t have a room rather he just finds a spot to sleep whether that’s the couch or the carpet.
- somedays he’ll wear his red long johns all day
- he’s not very fond of going out whether that’s to do shopping or just take a walk
- his request for shopping is always to get several packs of beer.
- the gang tries to persuade him to get off his lazy ass but then he’ll blame it on his lumbago.
- the gang tries to convince him to get some aspirin or something for his back but he insists that it’s terminal and it’s a slow and painful death.
- doesn’t help out with chores and doesn’t really know where all his clothes went
- is one of the bigger snorers of the gang. He can usually be found napping in the armchair.
Molly
- one of the those girls who takes forever to get ready and it takes three hours for her to put on makeup every morning
- Dutch gets impatient when the gang goes out to do different excursions and everyone has to wait on molly
- it usually gets to the point where they just leave her behind with Uncle
- as mentioned she likes to follow Dutch around and for she can’t keep her mouth shut.
Strauss
- he’s always in his office on his computer.
- spends most of his days calculating the gangs funds.
- has a whole system on Microsoft excel to keep track of overdue loans from fellow neighbors and clients
- doesn’t participate with the other members
- can be seen in the mornings in his bathrobe and nightcap carrying his morning coffee up to his office to start work
- when he does come down for dinner some nights he tries to talk about finance but everyone seems to have select hearing
- likes to sit and read the newspaper
Javier
- has a bad habit of practicing guitar during the night when people are trying to go to sleep. Usually, Hosea will pound on the door and tell him to “be quiet.” Abigail will say, “jacks trying to sleep!”
- usually is a go with flow type of guy. Likes to participate in excursions and activities with the gang.
- not the best shopper for he’ll end up buying whatever he wants rather than what everyone needs
- sometimes cooks Mexican food for the gang
Sadie
- Sadie is the loud one in the house
- comes home late a lot of nights as she likes to go have drinks with friends and usually she’ll bring Karen along.
- she likes to eat out too to avoid Pearsons cooking
- likes to order pizza but not the one to clean up for herself
- when picking movies for herself shes not afraid to say she hates it or she doesn’t want to watch it
- sometimes gets picked on by Micah but she defends herself by threatening him with the kitchen knife
- always enjoys a party
- likes to take drives around with Arthur.
- Dutch and Hosea don’t let her drive the gang to and from places for she has road rage. She once yelled at a man and drove straight through a busy intersection which almost gave Reverend Swanson a heart attack
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nthspecialll · 17 days
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Uncle would have loved Mister West Dickins and his cure for Lumbago, wonder if he has something for compulsive lying as well
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dappledpaintbrush · 1 year
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(modern) rdr2 halloween headcanons because because BECAUSE because
- Arthur never went all out for Halloween until one time Sean convinced him to do that “pretend to be a mannequin on a chair holding a candy bowl” thing. He made a kid cry and has never forgiven himself
- Sean got informed of this and got his number temporarily blocked because he kept spamming Arthur to do it again
- Charles and Arthur often just ditch giving out candy and watch as much of the Halloween movies as they can before they pass out from exhaustion
- Lenny absolutely still trick or treats and always says “next year is his last year” (it’s not)
- Everyone flocks to Hosea’s house because he’s just the sweet old man that sits on his driveway and gives out two handfuls of candy to each kid. He’s also the type to say stuff like ��Let me guess, you’re a pumpkin!” to a little kid wearing a super hero costume
- You can’t say “Trick or Treat!” at Sadie’s house. There is now a 50% chance she will say “Trick” and shut her door.
- Abigail finally harasses John enough to take Jack trick-or-treating, and for Jack oh no this wasn’t enough. John had to dress up too. Abigail had to drag him kicking and screaming to Spirit Halloween and Jack picked out Batman and Robin costumes for them
- John actually ended up having a lot of fun but the idea of being Batman got to his head and he tried to do a backflip and ended up busting his ass on the concrete
- Dutch can’t just give out candy. That’s too simple. He gives out McGriddles.
- Tilly being an actual angel goes out of her way to make things extra fun and ties tissues around lollipops to make them look like little ghosts
- Susan gives out toothbrushes
- Bill used to leave his porch light on, wait for people to walk up, then jump from the bushes wearing a Krampus costume. He retired the year he got pepper-sprayed.
- Nobody can get ahold of Swanson. Swanson got blackout drunk at a Halloween party and woke up in a parking lot in Europe.
- Halloween isn’t Halloween for Javier. Not anymore. It’s now Get a Free McGriddle From Dutch Day.
- Every piece of candy from Josiah is 99¢ each (he’s generous enough to put it on sale at a 75% discount).
- Uncle has a whole group chat that’s just him texting every Halloween that he has lumbago so he can’t go trick-or-treating. Nobody has ever asked. You can’t leave the group chat. He just adds you right back.
- Molly dresses herself up in literally the most amazing costumes just to immediately take it off and go to bed
- Pearson has gone on strike on his job as a chef, demanding work be cancelled on Halloween. He’s done this more than once. So far, Pearson has gotten fired from 5 restaurants, and he hasn’t quit yet.
- Kieran absolutely refused Halloween his entire life but the ONE TIME he tried giving out candy he opened the door to like an actual toddler wearing a Pennywise mask and hyperventilated until he cried
- Micah goes around chasing people with an actual knife
- For whatever reason Karen has never caught on that porch lights on = trick or treaters and ended up screaming GET THE FUCK OFF MY PORCH at little kids. The police were called and she ended up fist fighting a single mother of 4
- Mary-Beth paid for her bail
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lowwqualityyblog · 9 months
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okay consider this rant. The gang as certain sea creatures. What would they be. I rant abt this on call w my wifey wife @aplicobelt
Uncle - stellars sea cow because he’s OLD and also similar to a manatee ig… instead of lumbago he’d say he’s the last living one of his species and that’s y he doesn’t do stuff instead
Arthur - thresher shark. explanation below
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Dutch - giant pacific octopus, because not only is he larger than life in his personality, and persona and such… he also can camouflage and change colors which something something ties in with his manipulation. Additionally octopi can detach limbs when under stress to escape predators… Yknow like how he cut loose John n shit.. somethi something yah commentary.. also octopi are not related to rays and sharks like Hosea and Arthur… thoughtz
Hosea - stingray because he only really attacks in self defense/retaliation.. additionally stingrays are rays which are related to sharks. Arthur and Hosea. Yah
Micah - anglerfish… this is kinda obvious I won’t go into detail
Swanson - nautilus. Kinda just fits. It’s orange, and it’s got a shell, resilient like Swanson 
Sean - clownfish. For obvious reasons
Karen - clownfish. Alpha female and beta male clownfish. 😁😊
Pearson - moray eel (old). Related to that one time he compared his fighting skills to that of a tiger..
Sadie - blue ringed octopus, not only the ringed imagery relating to her marriage, but they aren’t aggressive by nature and only attack when threatened, and when they attack the job gets *done* Yknow?
Charles - leatherback sea turtle, why? Because my wife said so
Abigail - blue crab cuz she’s crabby sometimes (THINDRROUS APPLAUSE AS I GET SHOT TO DEATH)
Tilly + Mary Beth - minnows cuz they’re both like two peas in a pod :3
Jack - garden eel, shy by nature, and shows that even in 1914 he was getting pushed out of his comfort zone, his nature. Just fits idk.
John - American eel, it has his face. Both eels like Jack
Trelawny - ribbon eel.. just cuz they’re both flamboyant
Bill - hammerhead shark, just vibes
Javier - peacock bass. image below.
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theladykit · 1 year
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Thanksgiving HCs, pt 1a: Sport
Sadie’s the one who actually tries to get them to play, but it goes so, so bad and she’s never allowed to suggest thanksgiving activities ever again. Henceforth, it is known as The One We Don’t Talk About.
Four of them end up in the ER, and Sadie’s just shrugging like “Well, what does Kieran expect if he ain’t gonna take it seriously? It’s football, body-checking is just how it goes.”
Uncle also somehow ends up in the ER even though he didn’t play. They later catch him stealing jello from the cafeteria, “because it helps with the lumbago, and you all should look into complementary therapies.”
The reverend doesn’t even get drunk and still passes out in front of the tv, and he fucking loves it. Always says it’s the best nap he has all year.
Dutch tries to recapture his youth by trying to play football and almost has a heart attack, a la Jack Donaghy after his heart attack in 30 Rock.
Hosea and Molly both immediately ban Dutch from the game, but it doesn’t really matter because no one’s allowed to play again anyway.
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IMAGINE IMPERSONATING THE RDR2 GANG
 Moving to Valentine after being in those mountains was rough. Especially on your allergies. So when you woke up in the morning with a deep voice, you weren't surprised.  You stretched before crawling out of your tent and making your way over to the fire. You poured yourself a cup of coffee, and took a long sip. After a few minutes, more of the camp had woken up. Karen, Tilly, and Susan joined you by the fire. 
“Good mornin.” You groaned out. The girls all stared at you with shock before bursting out laughing. Tilly laughs and exclaims “You sound like Dutch!”
Dutch:
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  You chuckle, put down your coffee and start doing your finest Dutch strut around the fire. 
“Now, ladies. I know.... its been a tough few weeks. But stay with MMeeEEee! And I.... WE... will make it out of this!” The gang breaks out in hysterical laughter, which only encourages you more. 
“I have got.... A PllAAaaNN!” you screamed The gang follows with laughter, and then silence.... You give a nervous chuckle. “what's wrong you guys?” Silence. 
“He’s behind me... isn't he?” 
You turn around to face a very angry Dutch. Needless to say, you were on midnight guard duty from then on. 
Arthur:
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“MoooNNNeeyyy! I need money!” You shout while doing your best cowboy walk round the fire. The camp cheers and laughs, just egging you on more.
Arthur stands arms crossed a few feet away, just rolling his eye’s. Though he couldn't hide the slight smile creeping onto his face. He just tilts his hat down to cover face. 
“Damn fool.” He shakes his head.
Javier:
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Javier stares at you with a raised brow as you dance around the camp with a rose between your teeth, while attempting to sing some Spanish songs but completely failing. You strum random notes on his guitar and it sounds.... bad...
Normally Javier would have immediately stabbed anyone making fun of him, but for you... he’ll make an exception. It was cute.
“Aye Mi Vida, sit down you’re embarrassing the both of us!” he shouts playfully before taking a long drag from his cigarette. 
Uncle:
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“LUMBAGO!!!”
Micah:
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You scrunch up your nose and do a over exaggerated cowboy walk (practically crab walk) “Wut you lookin at cowpoke?” you ask while looking right at Micah... who looks not amused in the slightest. 
“Ha Ha. Very funny.” He pulls you in close “Keep it up and see what happens, sugar.”
 His voice is like venom. You know you’ll be in trouble after this little stunt but.. its just so much fun making fun of Micah. You just have to poke the bear.
You smile sweetly at him. “Try me....cowpoke.”
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reddeadclown · 1 year
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Random RDR Headcanon 3
As a person with scoliosis, I fully understand Uncle’s pain when he says he has lumbago 😔👍🏻
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manybcdthings · 2 months
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Name: Marulf "Uncle" Carhildr
Age & Birthday: 59 years old, January 14th 1965
Gender/Pronouns: Cis Man He/Him
Birthplace: White River, Colorado
Time in Hollow Cove: Feb 2023
Species: Werewolf - Visser Pack
Role: Absolutely none, he's a thinker. He has lumbago.
Positive personality traits: Deep-Thinking, Engaging, Creative
Negative personality traits: Lazy, Distrusting, Liar
ABOUT
Born into the elusive and isolated Visser wolf pack, Marulf showed a gift from a young age. A gift far better than being a bard. Even a gift far more valuable than being a warrior. Marulf showed wisdom, and a natural flare for telling stories. At first, he began to tell stories of the Gods as a child and he learned about the White River ancestors to every detail possible.
However, his fate changed from being a simply story teller when, for several months, Marulf went missing. After an attack on White River by vampires, Marulf was nowhere to be found and he was gone for almost a whole winter. However, he returned. And he had stories different to the ones he had ever told before. He told them...over and over to eager ears, especially the Visser Alpha who entrusted him to be a guide when it came to the outside world. From that moment on, Marulf considered himself invaluable to the pack.
Marulf became known as "Uncle" to many of the wolves and witches in the White River pack, offering a guiding approach to any problems they faced within their life. He would always tell them a story with a lesson attached, and wind in a few more tales of his winter in the outside world.
When the war began, he was separated with several wolves and witches, remaining with them for the entirety of their travels. Marulf has never considered himself a deadweight, as his power is his thoughts. Offering guidance through lands he claimed to know well, and always able to consider all angles before offering an opinion or idea.
When they reached the ancient lands of their ancestors and were forced to find a safetown due to the storm, Marulf was reunited with the Visser wolves and has promptly continued his life exactly how it's always been. Thinking and talking. These days, he claims he can't pull his weight in any other way due to a condition the outsiders named lumbago, claiming to have caught it after he went missing.
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prairiemule · 5 years
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“Back in Saint Denis . . . I never liked this place.”
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dutchieliciousplans · 3 months
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I thought uncle was the type to be on his knees with his fist up raging at the sky yelling "damn you lumbago" but now that i have thought about it it's definitely too much hard work for uncle.
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softestoutlaw · 4 years
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uncle going to start a conversation with john in the epilogue: hey joh-
john:
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crmnljn · 5 years
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It’s the L̴̻̥̅̀̀̄̀̓̎͒̄͠ų̸͎̤̭͍̣̈́̆̓̂͊ͅm̴̢̛̫̤̱̙B̸̩͙͎͍͍̼̳̙͓̂̅͂ͅẠ̶̑g̴͔̟̳̻͔̙̟̞͎͎͖̾́̑͜͠ͅO̷̭̜̰̮͓̯͖̱̮̲̭̥̓̐̏̇͒̀̒͝
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rdr2screens · 5 years
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revswanson · 2 years
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i don't really know how to talk about why the ~lumbago~ thing being such a meme bothers me so much and why... but i really want to try and please, disclaimer or whatever, i KNOW that it's "just a joke", i'm not mad at any of you because i genuinely don't think anybody is trying to be malicious or anything
i get that it comes off as an excuse, especially with the joking tone and the general way that uncle is, and especially if you googled what lumbago is and saw that it's 'just back pain'... i get that uncle comes across as lazy and careless and like he doesn't want to work etc i've already made a post about that part
but the thing is that lumbago- lower back pain- is still caused by an injury or an illness. whether it be arthritis that is affecting him otherwise (as is incredibly common amongst older people, and as many of us know) or an injury sustained during his time with the gang/prior to. if he does have lumbago- and i don't really have much reason not to believe him, uncle is a lot of things but he isn't much of a liar- then it probably does actually hurt him. whatever is causing it or did cause it probably still causes him pain in other ways as well. growing old isn't easy or pain-free either, especially during that time when our seniors didn't have as many resources or such access to good healthcare as many do now.
and if it does hurt, i don't blame him for not wanting to work.. and he DOES work, we've talked about this ahem anyways. no, i don't blame him at all for wanting to rest his back. from the little we know about uncle we can tell that he had a pretty hard life and however it is that he ended up with lumbago, he deserves to rest. all of them do- this isn't me saying that i don't wish arthur and john and everybody else could rest because i do
everybody deserves to be able to feel safe and as painfree and rested and cared for and loved as possible, this shouldn't really be an argument in my eyes and i think that's why it all bothers me so much anyways
and at the end of the day it's kind of annoying that i can't post photos or about uncle in any way without people making lumbago jokes (not really on this site tho!!! you guys don't do it that much) and it's annoying that i can't look for like, uncle content lol, without just seeing lumbago lumbago uncle is lazy uncle sucks lumbago uncle hehe like PLEASE... he is so much more than his back pain lmfao what the heck
people want to minimize his pain and minimize his experiences while still maximizing on the humor of it all and making him out to be some court jester when he is, you know, a person albeit a fake one in a video game (gasp, i know) and he has thoughts and feelings (physical and emotional) and has had an entire life before what we see and a multitude of experiences that we will likely never know more about so we are simply left to wonder and one might think of some of the worst possibilities
uncle isn't just some court jester putting on a show for everybody.. "put me out of your majesty, your misery" he sees through anybodys shit and he expects anybody to see through his, he doesn't underestimate people, he doesn't lie and fake stuff because frankly i do think he's too lazy to do THAT.. also because he knows just how harmful putting on a charade is- he's real and if you don't like it or him and think he's just someone to laugh at that's fine but maybe i'm one of the only people who genuinely loves him as a character and wishes to know so much more about him
and i think that it's sad because in real life people minimize other people's experiences and traumas and pains especially those that we don't understand or know a lot about and man we should be working on changing that in our own lives, not furthering it all by placing these negatives on our favorite characters in our favorite medias
i think that's all i have to say about it for rn and again please keep making the jokes if they make you happy, please don't think i'm mad or calling any of you in specific out, i'm just a sensitive person and i get attached to characters like this
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