#ugh i just needed to get this out of my system

[woodblxssomcrowned]

Personal rant/vent that's not very cohesive

I've had these characters for almost ten years and they are *constantly* changing, sometimes a lot in a very short time.

I go back and forth with various ideas and concepts and ngl I often feel like a bad oc mom for it like they have no integrity as characters. Like I don't care about them, or can't create good and consistent characters.

And the fact that they are so intimately connected to canon muses is always a source of insecurity. Like their association to Hashirama is pretty integral to how they are as characters, it's not a relationship I can just remove without affecting core parts of them, but we barely know what kind of man Hashirama was in private, the only accounts we have are his own and Madaras, much less what sort of father he was to the children that are never ever mentioned ever by anyone ever, so I also often feel the need to tone them down and leave gaps in order to make room for others interpretations of Hashirama.

And also I'm trying so SO hard to not make these kids op.

I'm trying so hard to find that sweet spot of believability that they are Senju/Uzumaki which are clans known for producing members who are really strong in various ways (life force, stamina, general skill etc) and could hold up against the Uchiha for ages. That they genetically come directly from the same stock as Hashirama and Tobirama, and Mito, and would produce Tsunade. That they are still somewhat interesting and remain fun to roleplay in a verse where the vast majority of characters are fighters. While also wanting to somehow keep them low-key enough that they don't accidentally overshadow the canon powerhouses like Hiruzen and the Sannin and become unrealistically notable since nobody mentions shit about the Hashirama-offspring (or any other post-founders Senju besides Tsunade and Nawaki) in canon. It was the main reason I ended up going with Maeko not being a shinobi, to somehow justify the insignificance (I also have some old harsh critique in the mary sue category that still rings at the the back of my head no matter how much i try to let it go). But ngl its not always fun to play that way. At the same time I feel like Maeko *not* being shinobi is equally unrealistic and weird, and is definitely still something I feel uncertain about in terms of wtf she's supposed to be doing instead. Like I try to downplay them to a point where they aren't fun for me to play anymore.

It's a lot of insecurity just in my head. I know there's people who really like these characters. But still I feel so deeply unable to justify affecting canon too much, sacrificing just having fun in favor of some sort of weird 'realism', which sucks.

#;;ooc #ugh i just needed to get this out of my system #rant cw

[appri-dot]

I like to draw nutcracker yaoi for character reasons trust fencer(hurt fella) belongs to @ballcrusher74

#this is dumb yaoi angst but i need to get them out my system #also a wip #i wont post the final product probably because the cringe will catch up but for now i WILL gush abt how silly their contrast could be #metal body damaged wooden body worn #woody just way more emotionally driven because fencer is literally the only nutcracker he can connect with #the silly tendrils bristling as a defensive display but involuntary because hes so scared #woody talks in more broken sentences to fencer because he infers that he can understand him as is a lot better then his human crew #fencer very nonchalant because its not the first time his shits been rocked on the job #i worry this is ooc for fencer so idk how far i will finish it #but ugh i need to stop using these 2 as nutcracker behaviour dolls #SORRY BUT DAMAGE TO A METAL SHELL BEING MORE SIGNIFICANT BECAUSE THE VIOLENT VIBRATIONS #THUSLY WHY NUTCRACKERS IMMEDIATE BECOME EXTRA AGGRESSIVE WHEN HIT WITH SHOVELS #im normal im normal.... #woody mimics a human in body heat because the wood better insulates the interior of his body #tw blood #tw body horror #tw gore #lethal company

[olive-riggzey]

Listen, you CANNOT tell me that they didn’t meet at least ONCE

Please accept my headcanon that Rondo just keeps growing out his hair to wear it like Sazantos, thank you

#ZootaDoodles #Octopath #Once again if you search up anything on Rondo Ravus you WILL PROBABLY GET SLAPPED IN THE FACE WITH SPOILERS #Anyways just hear me out on this okay #Therion pops in through the window and there's just this ridiculously tall man standing there with a sword #Instead of thinking oh that must be her brother he immediately assumes Heathcote was sacked #OR that this guy broke in somehow and therefore must be really REALLY strong and therefore Therion is in trouble #Also UGH I had the hardest time drawing Rondo today but I needed to get this out of my system #It makes me happy that we have a mostly coherent timeline of the first OCTOPATH game and CotC #If we say that the attack when Rondo was 13 was the same one that Cordelia and him lost their parents in then that makes Rondo 23 y/o now #Octopath Traveler #Octopath Traveler CotC #Octopath CotC #Rondo Ravus #Therion #Octopath Therion #Cordelia Ravus #CotC

[hermitcraftx]

I agree with your post about hermit fans in regard to things being very popular. I’ve seen more people being angry and annoyed about scarian in the last six months than people celebrating it. Not tagging shipping is shit but it’s better than harassing people. I don’t know what was put in the water but something changed drastically and I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s seen it.

IT'S FUCKING INSANE! This fandom used to be so positive and welcoming and overall way more pleasant than some... other MCYT fandoms, but now??? I can't log on without seeing untagged negative interpretations in the main tags, can't express an opinion without getting anons calling me heterosexual sympathizers and hoping that I die, everyone has turned their back on everything that used to make this fandom really... fun? Like, I don't tag ON MY BLOG, but usually I don't maintag my shipping posts, and if I do, I tag the ship name so people can filter it.... I don't maintag duo names. What the fuck happened to make everyone so- miserable. Anons are probably going to be permanently off for me, too many people comfortable with their opinions and not comfortable with mine and desperately needing to tell me that.

And like- look. I get not liking interpretations. Personally I'm not a fan of the Double Life cheating arc because of how abusive and out of character people made Grian be, and I had to avoid ao3 for a bit because of that and filter the fucking tags. Same thing with found family dynamics. Just because you don't like something doesn't make it "overrated and popular" and just because you don't like something doesn't make it immoral or unethical either!!! People have to make everything a moral standpoint nowadays and it's really exhausting-

But that's a tirade. All over all the confessions blogs there's "scarian is overrated" despite Grian having nearly 10mil subscribers and most of them being on YouTube and considering all the hermits friends or family truthing them. Yes, there is more shipping than before- that's because Hermitcraft season 8 made it very obvious that the people on the SMP and the people IRL are very different, and it's no longer considered RPF. None of the real hermits died via moon explosion, ZombieCleo often says she's doing "lore", they make different skins, even GRIAN acknowledges that he's acting and playing a part with the permit office. Despite all that, there's STILL wars on shipping and people insisting that we're shipping real people, I fought this war on the DSMP side of things and it's SO TIRING.

DND podcast listeners, do you ship the people playing the characters? NO!!!!! Unless you do, in which case, have fun with that. I don't really care about RPF and I filtered the tags for it a long time ago, so maybe they do do that.

Every other day I see "Third life is overrated" "Last life is overrated" (LAST LIFE IS OFTEN THE LEAST FAVORITE SEASON I SEE PEOPLE SAY!), "the life series is overrated" "the cactus ring is fucking stupid" "they left the desert but we didn't" "no, THIS interpretation of scarian is bad and wrong" and like... guys. Guys. Fandom is supposed to be fun. It is not supposed to be a full time job. It is not supposed to be moral or ethical and you shouldn't feel the need to police shit. Jesus Christ, every other month there's a new fad that tumblr users flock to and once it's over everyone goes "EWWW THAT WAS LAME AND OVERRATED AND I NEVER LIKED IT ANYWAY" like.... I promise you cannibalism as an allegory for love is not mainstream you are just on Tumblr.

Like Good God. If it's so bad here go to Twitter. I'm sick of all the complaining and misery and hatred and I miss when things were fun- people are so scared of being cliche that they don't want to write things that they enjoy. Where are the coffee shop aus???? Where are the fun silly things??? Where are the 100k grimdark fics with worldbuilding??? Wheres the 500k fics that aren't even about the same characters anymore but that we love just the same??? Where are the forums and people talking to each other in comments and meeting each other that way??? Where are the roleplay servers?????? What are you all doing??????

People are scared of being judged. They want to do what everyone else is doing. They don't want to be cringe or cliche and every day I see a "cringe culture is dead" post and then someone making fun of another part of fandom, an antithesis to their previous statement. They don't want to be late to things, either. Who cares if Last Life was a couple years ago? Draw the fanart anyway!

I'm scared. Maybe I'm just old, but every post I see I notice that I get maybe a 10th in reblogs of what I do in likes, and I don't even post my art or fics to this site. Every post is like that. More and more people only like posts and they die, unseen, by everyone. More and more people misuse archive of our own's functions, treating it like it has some algorithm, when it doesn't, and it never has and hopefully never will. I see fic reuploads to "gain traction" (not how it works) and people reaching out to find RP partners (breaking TOS) and all sorts of other shit on both sites and it fucking horrifies me. I'm not even that old- I'm eighteen, and I can already tell how fandom has changed for the worst for everyone. Fandom used to be a community. Not consumption.

It's just... sad. Old fandom had PLENTY of fucking problems, and we have problems here too, but at least the positives outweighed the negatives. It's so... mean here, now. Even the happy things are mean-spirited. People treat it as if certain people have invaded this fandom space, spreading horrible opinions and ruining it for everyone, but the truth is is that shipping is always going to be a thing. It's a foundation of fandom- fandom started with housewives in the 1950s writing Star Trek fanfiction. You can never get rid of shipping. You can just interact with what you want to interact with and leave others to mind their own business.

#sorry i kind of went on a rant i think i needed to get that out of my system #sort of went on several tirades but im SO FUCKING GLAD ITS NOT JUST ME #OTHER PEOPLE CAN SEE IT. WHAT IS UP WITH EVERYONE LATELY. #ugh.... thanmk u for the ask :3333 #jamies bad posts #jamie answers asks #grimaussiewitch #jamies serious posts #discourse

[runawaymun]

.

#sorry let me rant real quick in the tags #cw personal #once again hitting an insurance pothole bc the psych says she accepts my OHP plan HOWEVER the therapy group she is contacted with says #THEY don't #they only accept the insurance if it's through my employer but NOT through the government?????????????? #so there's still some kind of payment??? #anyway I want to scream why is this so complicated #like will she take my insurance or not who's right here #anyway called her back directly and went to voicemail so now I've done all I can for now #why the hell is this so hard man #the person on the phone didn't know really how to explain #once again no one knows what they're talking about #like can y'all not communicate and figure this out? #AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #i need to get an ADHD eval before my next PCP appointment in june so that they will continue giving me my meds #and the psychiatry through the hospital has a limited number of visits that insurance will cover #*contracted #not retyping all of that #and once again the only reason this is so stressful is because the psychiatry group at the hospital fumbled the communication ball last tim #and the psychiatrist I was with never put the ADHD on the chart #and now somehow it's MY responsibility to fix that> #UGH #like I am grateful to have some kind of coverage but holy shit is the US healthcare system in shambles #the bureaucracy is INSANE #i had to just sit down and put my head in my hands for a second #and then go 'right okay nothing i can do about that rn moving on' #uGH #literally said 'what the FUCK' out loud a couple times #like not on the phone after I hung up obvs

[puppyeared]

does anyone else feel like they could be a really really good tour guide if the memory problems didnt exist

#LISTEN. LISTEN I COULD RAMBLE TO YOU FOREVER ABOUT MY CITY. I REALLY COULD #BUT MY MEMORY IS ASS AND I KNOW I WOULD END HALF OF MY SENTENCES WITH 'BUT THATS JUST ME' 😭😭 #i would hate myself for misremembering something and passing on that information. and even more embarrassed if someone corrected me in fron #of a group of people.. i mean i guess its not realistic to know everything about everything but still a little embarrassing #but like seriously.. i could tell you about the weird public art sculptures. i could tell you about the local cryptid sighting from the 70s #i could tell you about the weather and public transportation system. i could tell you about the weird underground walkway #pretend im grabbing you by the shoulders and shaking you back and forth because i would have so much fun doing that. UGH #on a similar note its also really fun to go through atlas obscura and wonder how tf some of these dont get more attention. like i get that #popular attractions would be more worthwhile. i tend to go for museums and aquariums whenever im visiting somewhere #but idk i think it would be cool to chill in an abandoned train station or popular skate park. shrugs #i seriously need to get out more. sigh #i showed crow pictures of it snowing hard this morning and they were flabbergasted that its like -5 degrees here lol #yapping #txt

[thebluehoursofmorning]

idk, i get the point of trying to live healthily and do basic things like exercising and eating well etc etc but then things can get really specific and judgy about what health things you do or don't do and it is so frustrating and now I don't know if I should continue what the doctor says to do and it's so confusing and you WILL be met with judgement from one side or another no matter what you do

#went to a friend's house the other night #at first it was fun but then #all of a sudden at the end it was all #'and SHE (other mom who wasn't there) brushes her kids' teeth with fluoride toothpaste despite it being a neurotoxin!!!' #and i'm just quietly sitting there like 'welp.' #i also just don't get it. #like you're doing a million different things for health... #how do you have the energy to seek these things out and do them routinely??? are these things why??? #i just really don't want to be obsessed with health and i don't think i am #ugh i feel like it's placing health as way more important than it is (and i say this having a chronic illness that this stuff won't fix!) #health is not the greatest good. ask the saints who were bedbound! some of my favorite saints had very ill health! #anyways #ugh i needed to get that out of my system. i hate feeling so awkward and out of place. #blue talks

[icantspellthings]

Hmm

#i would genuinely rather barry date some weird gym rat personal trainer girl than a pop star who is a taylor groupie #like I pointedly dislike t*ylor sw*ft and anyone who is buddies buddies with her #have a pr relationship if you want but god pick a better match pls... #and we all fucking know the twt stans are so mean towards him bcs he's dating their precious pop girly or whatever the fuck #i wish he wasn't so mainstream now #like get the bag king but also can the normies pls not perceive him? #all the pictures comming out is making me bitter lmfao #gnawing on wood crawling on the floor r #he's probably flying on their private jets too lmao go queen kill the earth! #“hiding” it in the tags bcs im a pussy lol #sabr*na is probably a nice girl but ugh #anyways I just needed to get this out of my system lol #mouthy mint #🫤

[lunaetis]

𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐲.

                who am i ? who am i ? who am i ?

from the moment of your birth, it was your destiny to receive the stellaron at herta space station.

                destiny ? said who ? who was the one who decided it ? artificial. created. am i not alive ? am i not living, breathing right now ? do i not get a right ? why can't i remember anything ? why can't i even remember myself ?

the reason you don't remember is that i wiped your memory before the operation.

                did i agree to that ? did i know what would happen ? did i lose myself because of the mission ? is that all i am ? made for the purpose of hosting the cancer of all worlds. then what is next ? now that that was completed, what's next for me ? who am i supposed to be ? what am i supposed to do ?

                make decision i wouldn't regret ? but the path is lined up for me. no matter what kind of decision i make, what turn i take, what directions i go into, it was all planned. all foreseen. all observed. what am i, then ? what was the point of it all ? you have seen everything, every paths, every possibilities that could have happened. trying to achieve the best possible future, you said ?

                best for who ? is that all there is to me ? go with them. fight. live. move on. forward. forward. forward. do not stop. i can't stop even if i wanted to. i can't DIE even if i wanted to. because you're not allowed to.

                is this really my decision ? it sure didn't feel like it.

                gloved digits clawed at her chest. digging deeper, clawing so harshly as though she could rip something inside out.

                something.

                do i ... even have a HEART ? the whirring inside of me ... the stellaron. without it, i wouldn't exist, right ? i only open my eyes because THE STELLARON was pushed into me. i only wake up because of it. it's everything to me, it's all i am. the stellaron is my blood and life, it's my heart and soul. i wasn't created with A WILL, i was made to receive the will of this destructive force.

                without it, i am nothing.

                trailblazer. nameless. vessel. receptacle x.

                her eyes burned. but no words were uttered. no sound was made. not even a hint to be perceived despite her frame trembling and wanting to SCREAM. fingers curled deeper, harder. it hurts. it hurts. hurt more. hurt more. that means you still feel. that is the emotion you can feel.

                even without a heart, even without a soul.

                a single droplet escaped her shut gaze.

                you are i am empty.

#.memory fragments #.[ eden | trailblazer ] #[ self indulgence piece bc i need to get it out of my system #eden had been so sad today i just don't know why and i have to just #write out her mood and thoughts #ugh this is painful my heart is HURTING #i actually don't write in first person POV all that often but for this piece it fits #mY HEART HURTS EDEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME ]

[todayisafridaynight]

One of my fave jackets is this green jacket with a fur hood im wearin rn because 1.) its green 2.) my dad gave it to me 3.) it reminds me of saejima. Who also reminds me of my dad

#snap chats #p sure i talked bout this jacket before but idc read my diary #sorry that every other middle aged man i see i say reminds me of my dad its a compliment #tbh love how i clowned on ichi for being on premium copium bout arakawa but highkey i woulda done the same bout my dad.. i get it ichi.. #anyway :) i legally get to talk about my day with him now :)) HE SAID THE FUNNIEST SHIT UPON SEEING ME #HE SAID ‘oh wow we dress similar :)’ and keep in mind. he was wearing a latte brown coat with a black turtleneck and pants and shoes #meanwhile. i approach With Black Pants And Shoes Admittedly but then im in this goofy old ass jacket with a red scarf #and a crane-decorated dress shirt that i got two buttons undone on like DAAD you are senile. hes so funny #so fun my dad actually recognized this was the jacket he got me- it was one of the first things he bought for me after i told My Secret 🙈 #also i finally asked how tall he was and i can’t believe my dad matches the criteria to be an rgg character he’s fuckin 6’1 like i thought #AH but today was really nice- i got to hang with my sis and her husband as well as my dad’s wife :) #it was awful tho cause the second my sis saw my dad’s outfit she’s just like ‘it’s so kdramacore’ AND SHES RIIIGHT 😭😭 #we later found out dad’s wife loves kpop…. and she bought him his new clothes…. so we are no longer surprised….. AWFUL. #honestly i could write a drama based off my dad’s life i really could it has elements for it. i mean ig i kinda do that already dont i #i borrow. anyways. today was fun :) even if i almost lost my mind trying to take the train the first time #this train system was weird… it wa worth tho it was great seein popop again #yeah….. ugh i have to still drive home from the station. and hope my car is still there #i get very paranoid leaving my car alone so openly i dont like it… #anyways. bye bye :) i might nap til my stop or work on a fic i started #‘snap what happened to’ dont worry about it i need to look at something else or ill scream #ok bye 👋

[the-kipsabian]

are you ever just so hungry you feel yourself turning evil

#ppl grinding my gears rn pretty badly #this isnt a vague on anyone here just. ugh #first of all ai generated shit isnt art shut the fuck up and learn to draw #second of all 'come back to this when im right' is such a bullshit way of acting like youre above everyone else shut the fuck up #okay now that those are out of my system im gonna get dinner ugh #i just need to punch someone today god. at least i'll have roh later but oof. oof i fucking say #night is an absolute mess on main

[greensaplinggrace]

guess what I hate baghra even more now! I didn’t think it was even physically possible but here we are

#god season 2 is just #.... so bad #but baghra is awful in every iteration of sab apparently #god what a horrible person #anti baghra #anti baghra morozova #shadow and bone #sab #grishaverse #sab salt #myramblings #negative #negativity #fandomcourse #this is just straight up hate guys sorry #i needed to get this out of my system lol #but UGH what a godawful person #i rewatched the scene again and every time i read or hear that line i want to vomit #baghra morozova hate #baghra hate

[zaidepersonal]

life is overall good but ngl a single straw could break my back any minute now 😭

#I am going to kill my parents like fr #if this move doesn’t kill me first #im at my wits end I miss my friends I miss having the mental capacity to answer messages I just feel so deeply overwhelmed #tfw other people are ALSO bringing up your parents in therapy LMAOOOO god. end me #I can’t wait to be free #I feel like I’ll need like a month to settle my nervous system and get the cats settled #but after the move I just want to. rly prioritize taking care of myself and reaching out to friends again #ugh #thank u lief for just like. being around and being a huge support during all this 😭 even when the house is disgusting and I’m just sleeping

[yoshifawful64]

god not to rant about a random youtube video but i saw someone claim that every single mtg alchemy card could be printed in paper and like, what the fuck, you absolutely cannot.

like okay there's maybe a couple that you feasibly could print, but just conjure/perpetual/seek (and variations thereof) already cover a full 80% of current alchemy cards. those three mechanics are all completely undoable in paper, which should be obvious to anyone who's thought about it for more than a minute.

and even among the remaining 20%, the grand majority of those cards have serious problems with hidden information, memory issues, and just plain inconvenience/tedium. like, these cards are digital-only for a reason. (and yeah, sure, you could theoretically errata some of the cards or mechanics to a version that works in paper — but then what's even the point?)

#clicked on the vid cause i was hoping to hear some well-articulated complaints about alchemy and then closed it the moment they said that #there's maybe around two or so alchemy cards that you could print as is with minimal issues. but that's pretty much it #every single other one has some level of notable problem with it. not all of them are huge issues but they WOULD need solving/errata'ing #magic: the gathering #magic arena #ugh sorry for the rant just needed to get that out of my system

[wutheringmights]

.

#my digestive issues are literally under the most control they have ever been in my life and they are still ruining my life #woke up fine today. went to a coffee shop. had to leave after an hour #i had so many plans for today and now i'm stuck at home because i can't be too far away from a bathroom #i didn't eat anything that would trigger this. my gut just hates me i guess #earlier this month i have a risk food but i thought i took enough precautions to be safe and it fucked me up for like #2 weeks straight #i wonder what its like for people to not have to wonder about bathroom access every time they leave the house #i wonder what its like to eat normal foods without calculating how sick its going to make you #i wonder what its like to not have entire plans tossed out the window for reasons beyond your control #fucking sucks man #i hate ibs #in exchange for my terrible gut i do have a fantastic immune system somehow but weirdly that means i never take time off work? #ok so i am so good at just managing my issues that i just power through whenever im sick. #it's not like i can afford to take time off whenever i feel sick anyway and besides once you have to take multiple AP tests in high school #while in the middle of an episode you grow a lot of tolerance for being functional while sick #but then. i just i could have excuses to take days off because i have a cold or something. get a rest every now and then #but what illnesses i get beyond digestion issues are so slight that i can just. power through. i am never ill enough to take time off #and i get so worried that one day I will need that PTO that I can't convince myself to use it for like mental health days and ugh #this is more of a personal problem than anything but still. i wish i got sick like a normal person

[cheeses-ib]

GODS I just finished We Both Laughed in Pleasure. If you’re able to (especially if you’re a transfag or otherwise trans and mlm/nblm/etc.), please do totally read this. It was beautiful absolutely, it’s crazy to see the differences in our existing now and then with only like 30 years difference between his last diary entry and now, yet all the similarities in feelings and experiences. The love and care that Lou received from his family, and especially the support he gets in his transition and then through his time with AIDS, is something I’m so jealous of + something I am so channeling/praying for now and forever

#obviously I’m not. jealous of the AIDS part. but #his Catholic family in the 60-70-80s was loving and open and helped him every step he needed #like girl we’re non-religious and in 2024 yet my worst case scenario is I get kicked out #and while that’s unlikely. it’s kinda not. #it was a beautiful book and put together by the editors with such care ugh amazing #now I gotta go back through and highlight/underline specific lines because I. forgot. while reading #got too caught up #but now there are just a bunch of dog ears on the bottom corners so gotta go fix that lmao #ordered Transgender Warriors (Leslie Feinberg) from the library very excited to read that next #got a new system going where I have one fun book (ATYD Pt.1) a classic (David Copperfield) and a non-fiction (just finished awaiting anew) #cheese’s reading #cheese speaks #we both laughed in pleasure #lou sullivan #(scheduled to post)