#ugh anyway what the fuck was i talking about

[shitouttabuck]

this could be the year for the real thing

buck/eddie | 1.7k | 7x06 coda(ish)

Eddie can count on one hand the number of times he’s been this horrifically hungover. His pre-teenage-pregnancy body bounced back blessedly quickly from tailgate parties and keg stands and beer pong tournaments, but after that? His cousins threw his bachelor party before he married Shannon, which involved a lot of mixed liquor, and then there were a couple miserable nights out after she left him, and now, last night, him and Buck the sole bachelor party members standing after Chim didn’t show up.

This is his worst hangover, because at least all the other times he wasn’t seized with worry about one of his closest friends and regret that he and Buck hadn’t noticed the empty hotel bed the night before. The nausea from hell doesn’t help, either.

Chim’s safe now, under the careful monitor of Cedars hospital staff and Maddie no more than three feet away from him at all times. The relief is a palpable thing, and Buck offering him a steaming paper cup of green tea soothes the churning in his gut a little bit, too.

He takes a sip and sighs gratefully, slumping against Buck in the hospital waiting room chairs when he takes the seat beside Eddie.

“Still queasy?” Buck asks, voice a rumble.

“Mm,” Eddie says, “back-to-back shots of tequila and sambuca are not it.”

Buck shudders beside him. “Don’t,” he begs, closing his eyes and tipping his head back. “I’m still very much in range of hurling.”

“Have you eaten anything today?” Eddie’d only managed half a banana when he went home to shower and change, but he knows Buck’s been with Maddie most of the day, and when it comes to taking care of other people, he sometimes forgets about himself.

“Had a granola bar,” Buck says, eyes still closed. “Can’t—don’t wanna think about food yet.”

His stomach chooses then to grumble audibly, with traitorously comedic timing, and Eddie snorts. Buck opens one eye to grin at him.

“Don’t listen to her,” he says, patting his belly. “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

“She doesn’t, huh? Then I guess she’s not interested in stopping by the juice bar on Sunset on the way home? Some sweet, sweet smoothies, all that fresh fruit and hydration, don’t even have to chew…”

Buck’s stomach rumbles interestedly and they both laugh.

“That sounds—so good, actually,” Buck admits. “We can pick up the peanut butter one for Chris, he’s always hankering—”

He breaks off as Hen appears at the end of the hallway, looking around and hurrying over as soon as she spots them. Eddie doesn’t think anything’s wrong—she’s beaming—but he and Buck sit up quickly in their seats anyway.

“Ugh,” Buck says, and Eddie’s dizziness at the sudden movement wholeheartedly agrees.

“We’re having a motherfucking wedding,” Hen grins, tugging them both to their feet, uncaring of their delicate dispositions. “Right here, right now.”

“Hospital wedding?” Buck asks, eyes wide. “Holy shit, okay, what do we need—who do we call—fuck—”

“Calm down, Buckaroo,” Hen smiles. “Just get friends and family over here, Karen’s gonna pick up Maddie’s dress, I’m gonna call Bobby, and we’re having a wedding.”

Buck’s already pulling up a copy of the guest list on his phone, squinting at it and muttering names under his breath.

“You boys got this?” Hen asks while dialling Bobby.

“Yep,” Eddie gives her a mock salute. “We’ll split the list and make some calls.”

He types out half the names Buck reads off to him in his notes app, and the two of them work through them methodically, calling Chim and Maddie’s nearest and dearest for this impromptu ceremony.

“Chris will kill us if he misses it,” he says suddenly, and Buck looks up at him, mid-text.

“He’s with Isabel, right? Pepa’s place is only a ten minute drive from here.”

Eddie nods. “I don’t have my car, though. You drove me.”

Buck tosses him the Jeep keys. “I’ll finish calling people, you go get them.”

“Cool,” Eddie says, and nearly bodies himself with the instinctive urge to lean over and kiss Buck on the cheek as he stands. It’s surprising, even though it shouldn’t be, because it’s an urge he fought and failed about thirty times last night, Buck’s sweaty skin pressed to his, salty under his mouth every time he dropped an innocuous, friendly kiss to his face with nothing but alcohol in his veins.

It hadn’t seemed out of place then, everything shiny and bright, Buck leaning right back into him.

Now, under the fluorescents of the hospital, organising a makeshift wedding for their family? Eddie doesn’t think it would land quite the same.

“Back in twenty,” he tells Buck instead, and has to physically tear himself away from the smile Buck turns his way, warm and golden under the harsh lights.

Chris and Abuela are delighted to be included, and, true to his word, they’re back at the hospital as the rest of the guests begin arriving, too.

Eddie’s—okay, he’s not going to say he’s not a crier, it’s just that his best friend is Buck, who cries at anything remotely tearjerky, so in comparison, Eddie’s not a crier. Now, though, they’re both very much damp-cheeked, much like everyone else crowded into this hospital room, watching Maddie and Chim exchange rings and vows with little Jee between them.

They’re a family, have been and would still be even if they never got hitched, but the fact that Chim refused to wait another few weeks, another few days, another minute before marrying Maddie? Eddie’s chest aches in the best way, and he slings an arm around Chris, and, before he knows he’s doing it, he looks for Buck.

The ceremony’s over, and Buck’s grinning at his phone, and Eddie pats for his own automatically, anticipating a goofy text.

But Buck’s edging backward, slipping out of the room, still grinning at his phone, and the ache inside Eddie spreads like an inkstain, blotting his insides.

And then Buck reappears with Tommy, which Eddie knew he was going to do, because who else would have Buck smiling at his phone like that, leaving his sister’s wedding even for a minute. Not me, Eddie doesn’t think. He doesn’t.

He’s not ready to make sense of the churning inside him—he doesn’t think he can blame the hangover for this one—when he clocks Tommy’s soot-stained everything and the way Buck’s own smudgy face matches like a puzzle piece.

He sees the way Chim notices, and Hen and Karen, Bobby’s eyes going wide and then soft. He sees the way Margaret Buckley doesn’t even attempt to school her face into anything but distaste and he hates her, but Buck’s not even looking at her. He’s looking at Bobby, and then he’s looking at Chim, and he’s smiling, this wide, guileless spread of happiness across his face.

Eddie’s helpless to smile too, the churning too complicated to parse beyond easy joy at every step of Buck’s sexuality journey, and this second-hand relief he’s not sure he’s got any entitlement to—he doesn’t, does he? Sure, he can be relieved that Buck doesn’t feel like he has to stay closeted, that everyone who matters loves him just the same, but he doesn’t get to feel like any of the relief belongs to him. Not now.

Not—yet.

Tommy’s made his way to Chim’s bedside to congratulate them properly, and Buck’s squeezing through the guests to get to the Diazes.

“Hey, bud,” he says to Chris. “Hi, Isabel.”

His face is still a smear of soot, and Chris giggles. “Buck. Your face.”

Buck frowns in confusion and Eddie steps over to him, hand already reaching to wipe the soot off his face, just like he has a hundred times at work. Except Tommy’s already there, licking his thumb and rubbing firmly at Buck’s chin, a gesture so familiar to Eddie that watching it happen separate from him feels like getting punched in the throat.

And beside the joy and the second-hand relief, there’s—this sense of profound loss. This emptiness, a space inside him he didn’t realise Buck had been occupying all this time. And now it’s like Eddie’s entered the room, finally, but the door is swinging shut on the far wall and Buck’s footsteps are echoing softer and softer as he leaves. Eddie’s late, he’s missed something he didn’t know was waiting, much less had a timeline on it.

The room empties out slowly, everyone giving the Buckley-Hans some space to rest, and Buck disappears down the hall hand-in-hand with Tommy.

“Y’all ready to go home?” Eddie asks Abuela and Chris. “We can get take-out.”

“Is Buck coming?” Chris asks.

“Uh, I don’t think so, mijo,” Eddie glances down the hall. “Although—” he pats his pocket, retrieving the Jeep keys, and startles when Buck appears by his shoulder.

“You have my keys,” he informs Eddie, stretching his hand out for them. Eddie drops them in his palm dutifully. “Juice bar? The fancy one on Sunset.”

Chris whoops excitedly, and Eddie smiles, even as his brow furrows.

“You’ve not got a hot date?” he asks Buck quietly as they walk to the exit.

“I drove you,” Buck shrugs.

Eddie rolls his eyes, stopping Buck with a hand at his elbow. “I think we can manage getting a cab.”

“I seem to recall you promising me a ‘sweet, sweet smoothie,’” Buck says, raising an eyebrow at Eddie. “You tryna stiff me, Eds?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Eddie lifts his hands in surrender. “Uh—do you wanna ask Tommy along?”

“Nah,” Buck says easily. “Maybe another time. He’s just gotten off shift. I’m seeing him tomorrow, anyway.”

“Okay,” Eddie nods slowly, ache bittersweet. “Just us, then.”

Buck beams. “Me and my boys,” he crows, wrapping an arm around Eddie’s shoulders and tugging him forward so he can wrap the other one around Chris. Isabel makes a noise of offense, and Buck hastily amends, “Me and my boys and Abuela. Dream team!”

Christopher groans at the very public embarrassment and Abuela smiles indulgently at Buck and Eddie lets himself get pulled along, safe in this room in his heart that won’t ever be empty, even if Buck’s not filling it in the same capacity as Eddie’s getting ready to allow himself to want.

It doesn’t matter. The door on the far wall’s not quite swung shut after all; it sits ajar, crack of light and Buck’s love spilling through. Maybe one day he’ll come back through it. Maybe one day Eddie’ll follow after him enough to ask.

#i got too excited after the episode at 5am and tired myself out so much i fell back asleep at 8am lol #buddie #911 #buddie fic #911 fic #writing tag #mine #also i agreed to go out for drinks with high school friends tonight and im going to be so badly behaved because they’ll want to catch up #and all i want to do is think about these damn firefighters

[pupyuj]

Mean dom wonnie and yujin/ OR MAYBE REI being the mean girl duo, top at their class and just happens to get interested in you, maybe g!p🗣️✨🎀 with an unnie kink✨

gonna do mean girls wony and rei bcs ehehe i don’t write enuff rei 🥺🥺😢💓 plus ya’ll do NOT want me to yap about mean girl yuj or else we’ll end up with a ycs-long rant about me wanting mean girl yuj to make up a horrible rumor about me and ridicule me in front of the entire student body and then break my glasses and laugh in my face about it… THE VOICESSSS 👹👹👹👹

anyways, pardon for the long author’s note but omg i rlly enjoyed this ask for some reason LIKE I HAD SO MUCH FUN WHILE WRITING IT 😵‍💫😵‍💫🤭 i couldn’t incorporate unnie kink at all bcs i completely forgot about it MY APOLOGIES I HOPE YOU DON’T MIND ANON 🥺🙏

mean girls wony and rei who scares everyone except you bcs you always end up being third best at the class bcs of them and so you absolutely hate their guts 😡 never receiving the praises you deserve bcs they hog all the spotlight as well as the top marks.. mean girls wony and rei who took an interest for the feisty academic overachiever you, (y/n), bcs they finally noticed you glaring daggers at them from the top of your book from across the courtyard benches one summer afternoon in the campus… mean girls wony and rei who take it to themselves to teach you a thing or two about respecting your betters 🤭✨✨

them somehow catching you studying alone in an empty classroom.. talking to you with fake smiles with an even faker tone of speaking, offering to help you review for the next week’s assessments which you refused quite rudely… and ofc wony wasn’t going to let that slide! 👿👿 here they were, offering you a nice way to finally beat them in the class and yet reject them?? in such a tone too?? you were just asking to be punished!

wony grabbing your chin harshly.. digging her nails in your skin before she stuffs your mouth with her fingers, daring you to speak to them like that again.. while rei’s off to the side recording all of this with her phone… ykw maybe you were shitting your pants bcs what the fuck??? “well?? you were so brave just a few minutes ago..” wony says, laughing as you gagged and choked on her long fingers 😵‍💫 rei spotting you eyeing down wonyoung’s hard-on.. “wony, i think there’s something else (y/n) would rather have in her mouth.”

“of course! fucking slut. come on, rei-yah. let’s give her what she wants and fill her up.”

ughhfhfhschcbcj rei occupying your mouth while wonyoung keeps one of your hands busy.. you completely forgetting that rei is recording bcs all of a sudden you were their little whore and all you wanted to was to please them?? sucking off rei so good that her normally soft moans are louder, her head thrown back while she uses her free hand to keep your head still, thrusting her cock into your mouth at a comfortable pace… “o-only learning how to.. ahh… cooperate with us when it comes to this, hm? we should’ve fucked you earlier. right, wonyoung?” rei grabbing a fistful of your hair from the back and forcing you to look at her while you sucked her off.. smiling as she looks at your pathetic face back and forth between on her phone and behind the camera 😵‍💫😵‍💫

meanwhile, wonyoung was burning hot—she wants to cum so bad!! she was rock-hard and throbbing, she must’ve wanted this for a while.. ugh she doesn’t know how the fuck you did it but even when you were mostly preoccupied with rei fucking your mouth, you still found ways to please wonyoung with your hand 🫣 more and more of her precum leaking and coating her length as you jerked her off.. toying with the head and making wonyoung whine, nearly making her cum even! and she does merely a few minutes later bcs poor baby couldn’t hold it! 😣 her cum spilling all over your hand and the side of your face.. a much, much better look on you than makeup if you ask wony 🤭 and rei adds to it too! cumming right after wonyoung and making sure to pull out just to decorate your face with her cum…

and then! surprising the two girls with a barrage of questions that they didn’t expect from your mostly polite mouth at all 🫣

“is.. is that it..?”

“y-you’ll.. fuck me, right? i want you both inside me…”

“please..? i-i’m good.. i promise, i am..!”

what the fuck?! who knew you can be such an obedient cockslut! and why would rei and wony say no to that cute face? best believe that they’d fuck you in turns and together for as long as you can take in that classroom! mean girls know how to fuck a good girl’s brains out after all 🤭🤭

#ive smut #ive x fem reader #ive x reader #ive scenarios #ive imagines #jang wonyoung smut #jang wonyoung x reader #jang wonyoung x fem reader #jang wonyoung scenarios #jang wonyoung imagines #naoi rei smut #naoi rei x fem reader #naoi rei x reader #naoi rei imagines #naoi rei scenarois #wonyoung smut #wonyoung x fem reader #wonyoung x reader #wonyoung scenarios #wonyoung imagines #rei x fem reader #rei scenarios #rei imagines #rei smut #rei x reader #girl group x fem reader #girl group x reader #girl group imagines #girl group smut #girl group scenarios

[the-parasites-control-me]

Erm..

Pairing; Geto Suguru × reader

Content; smut ig..?

Geto was a busy person and you knew that, you loved him though he barely had time for what he called a 'monkey'— but you just took that as a sweet nickname he calls you. Actually you didn't even care about him sometimes cause of the heavy workload you have. Though it was kinda toxic, you still made it look like a nice relationship infront of friends and family because if they knew, they would just start yapping about weird nonsense.

In this cute relationship of yours you both had little sex since you were both really nonchalant people and usually manage to go to work all day without even considering your sexual desires. But this time, this time was very different.

You and Suguru were out on a simple coffee date or as you thought you were. Anyways, you ordered a cappuccino while Geto ordered tea. The waitress came and you both had made eye contact. Great! She said, and it was so familiar, something was off but— eh, it's just a waitress. You said, trying to convince yourself that nothing was wrong.

Hey, by chance do you know anybody named Shoko..? You asked, trying to confirm that she was just a waitress— None, ma'am. See, I was right! You shouted in your brain. Gosh, I can't believe I got so paranoid over a innocent waitress...

Hmm..? Paranoid, what are you even talking about y/n. Geto ordered you to calm down and shut your mouth because he wanted to enjoy his tea peacefully and you obeyed him like the little monkey you were. When your cappuccino had finally arrived, you immediately thanked the waitress and drank your cappuccino. Little did you know that it was spiked, and it was not the normal 'spiked drink' it was the aphrodisiac kind of drug.

After you both finished enjoying your little date, you both went to work again— just like normal right..? Well, you were absolutely wrong. After 2 hours of working on a specific document you started to feel oddly dizzy and lightheaded. Shit, my head is in scrambles, ugh, it wouldn't be a sin to skip work today, right? Eh, whatever. You said before leaving to head straight home. When you finally arrived home, you were surprised to see Suguru laying down on the couch, eyes covered by this arm, groaning.

Suguru.? I thought you were at work..? You asked, baffled to see him skipping work. Something was definitely wrong about this whole occurrence and you needed to get to the bottom of it. You tried to call Shoko for help, which was your best friend but there was no signal? Weird, you vaguely remember paying the internet bills this month, how come?

Fine, I'm leaving to see her. You said before picking up your keys and trying to leave, but before you could even do that you were tackled by Geto, panting and groaning as he removed his joggers and underwear, his cock springing out, angry tip was leaking pre-cum. Suguru!? What are you do— you tried to question him but was silenced as he kissed you. Hngh,sshut your haa— fucking mouth. He muffled while you both kissed. You wanted it to stop but you also needed his dick inside you. Geto lowered his head equal to your pussy and started to lick your bud before eating you out, it was so fucking amazing that you started to moan. Ngh G- Geto! He's had enough of tasting your juices, he craved to be inside your tight walls so bad it was almost like a slave drag. He started to insert his index finger in your small cunt pumping it in and out. Shit, this was some hardcore sex, you thought. Fuck— haa, G- Geto! You moaned in pleasure due to his skill in fingering, I mean how did he even develop that skill? Before you could even stop to think about weird reasons he had already aligned his cock with your hole. Good luck monkey, haa— shit. He starts to thrust in and out surprisingly at a slow pace little did you know he was going to make somebody's monkey limp today.

He starts to moan in pleasure but notices you trying to stay silent which makes him irritated since it just means that you're not pleased by his cock so he decides to thrust at a faster pace making all your juices flow to the base of his dick. You little ungh— haa, slut, you better mo—! He was suddenly cut off when your walls started to clench and tighten around his member. You broke out into inaudible moans, fuck, you were about to cum. Geto's pace remained fast and strong, making you whimper and moan in pleasure, this was all too much for you especially when your ass was filled with red hand marks because of him.

You gripped the sheets, sweat drops forming on your forehead, this was it, you were fucking about to climax and Suguru knew that. Oh, is my little bitch about to come..? My, my it seems you were so fucking horny f'me. He said before slamming down on your poor cunt at an impossible pace. It was sooo fucking good including the feeling of having your pussy walls get filled every single time he pumped his cock.

Shit! Shit! Shit! Fuck, m'gonna cum! Argh—! After one last push he finally reaches heaven, ropes of cum gushed into your warm cunt as you sprayed his cock with your own. You both were such a moaning mess, and didn't even notice that somebody was watching.

Until he spoke. Aww man, why do people leave me out when they do something fun! Geto snarled at the intruder which was— his own best friend.

GRRRRRRR, MY BRAIN IS GETTING BOMBARDED BY WEIRD THOUGHTS 😔

MEUEHHEHEHEHE I LOVE YALL 😜

#jjk smut #gojo smut #jjk #jjk x y/n #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk geto #geto suguru #geto x reader #shoko ieiri #jjk shoko

[rubenhopclap]

Re: post about offering to buy Wanda a phone/the replies.

...he also had the song of the summer, so the record label def throws money at him the way they used to with Fig. Especially if Jace makes him follow their song and dance continuously (spreading rage via his tunes and glyphs priming the ground and people around), so he's making more money than he knows what to do with.

Doesn't necessarily have to have come from means. If anything, he could have been an average kid pre-Jace, pre-rage, and suddenly he has a boatload of money. So he buys a big house he wants his friends to spend time in with him ('anyone who likes me coded', "please like me, I'll buy you things. I don't care, though. Whatever.") He decks the place out with things to keep his friends, his party, wanting to come around (honestly, very Fabian behaviour, if you think about it; except Fabian is 'anyone who hates me' coded) and willingly throwing money at people to get them to stick around. Because he can now. He doesn't have to be vulnerable for that. He doesn't have to let them know how scared he is.

"I'll buy you a phone, Wanda (so you'll talk to me? Please talk to me)".

Yesssss.

I will say it's quite possible that more of the RGs have generational wealth connections than just Oisin. What makes me roll my eyes and joke about it is the implication it always seems to carry that having a connection to generational wealth renders them a flat joke when Fabian is right there.

It's like do you really hate them because you think they're rich, or are you deciding that they're rich because you hate them? And if it's the second one, then why do you have to make up another non-canon reason to hate them, if you genuinely think they're so hateful in canon? I might make another post about this. I have thoughts.

That being said, the clincher for me is that the mansion overlooks the glade. It's wayyyy up in the hills. And it's near an abandoned factory? If this was Ruben's family home, it paints a really interesting picture that strongly suggests they're up to their necks in whatever is going on too. (Like... chance that if Ruben lived there before, then he could be the one to suggest the glade. But then it's in full fucking view of his parents' house? They can watch this going down whenever?)

But it's way too late in the season to introduce new major players. I still can't fathom a way that Henry's confrontation with Jace still happens if he actually knows what's up. And I think the whole "I'm a rich dude who is nominally consenting to this bc i don't have the whole picture but i think you can make my favorite teen strong" schtick is probably taken by Bobby Dawn. So unless Mr Gibbins is his half-uncle on his other side or some shenanigans. That's Ruben's house.

It's definitely possible that Ruben got the mansion off music money. Since they also seem to be bankrolled by dragons OH FUCK WHO OWN THE BANK??? RUBEN HAS A MORTGAGE 100%. Ugh. Okay anyway so he has a mortgage with great terms, and again, this place is in an area with an abandoned factory. Huge house, absolutely ice cold location.

Which circling back around FINALLY to the point of what you were saying. Yes, 100%.

It's clearly extremely helpful for them to have a hangout hub, and one in this location too. So I'd bet Porter had advice and suggestions.

They need a headquarters. It can't be Porter's or Jace's for op-sec reasons. Maybe they wanted some distance from Oisin's family too. (His tower additionally to everything else is behind an extra secret panel. Fascinating.) That makes Ruben the least suspicious remaining choice to own a mansion, after he's famous.

But the psychology of these kids is just as much a matter of strategy to Porter as everything else is. And he's the perfect choice that way too. Everything you're saying.

So Ruben gets this huge house where everyone else who's in on the plan and reinforces Porter's ways of thinking can come and hang out and be around all the time.

He can't actually bring back any of the people he's constantly dating and talking to who think that he's cool back to this locked down abjured and alarmed to hell mansion.

And it's way way way outside of town in an area with an abandoned factory. And he goes out on his balcony and gets a perfect view of the glade.

#can you tell i have adhd #this is at least three different posts in a trenchcoat #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #ruben hopclap #oisin hakinvar #porter cliffbreaker #rat grinders #wanda childa #fig faeth

[peakotp]

Wilhelm does not have a Favorite Book, please stop asking.

(Snapshot 3 of a post-finale AU in which Wilhelm never got out of the car. Today’s prompt from @youngroyals-events : Literature.)

Read at AO3 or below the cut.

Wilhelm does not have a favorite book in a capital F, capital B, sense. There are plenty of books he’s enjoyed, several he privately treasures, but absolutely none he wishes to announce to the world as his Favorite Book, for much the same reasons he loathes literature classes. Wilhelm enjoys reading – on his own, for himself. When there’s no expectation that he dissect and share his reactions with classmates or even just a teacher. When he can dive into a book and simply feel whatever he feels. When Wilhelm must read for a class, he freezes. Reads mechanically and clinically, keeping the content at arms’ length, engaging just enough to generate the required analysis. But a Crown Prince must be culturally literate, well versed in all the right works and ever ready to comment on the year’s literature prize winners. Imagine the reaction if Wilhelm admitted he only wants to read for fun, to read whatever strikes his fancy, and not limit himself to properly dense and elevated literature . And so of course Wilhelm cannot drop his literature classes – not just Swedish, but English and German too (and really Wilhelm, if only you’d taken your French lessons as seriously as Erik did) – and of course he must be ready to respond with just the right favorite book when asked.

Because he is being asked, and this time not just as dinner party small talk. No, it’s time (long past time, Wilhelm, Jan-Olof tells me you’ve been putting him off for weeks) to prepare for the interview he’ll grant the carefully selected author of the longform biographic profile set to be published on his eighteenth birthday. (It's a tradition, not a punishment.) According to the briefing book helpfully drafted to inform Wilhelm of what to tell his biographer, Wilhelm should be ready to discuss favorite books, artists, musicians, plays, movies. It is strongly recommended that he select Swedish works. Something serious, but nothing controversial or political. Something youthful and relatable, but not common. Something that fits the narrative. (Not that narrative.) After Jan-Olof shoots down every answer Wilhelm proposes, several unwritten guidelines become clear. It is mere coincidence that every overtly queer author and work is problematic for entirely unrelated reasons. The preference for Swedish artists obviously means traditional Swedes, the kind whose grandparents were born here. A song simply cannot be enjoyed if its singer too often tweets about politics or too rarely wears a shirt – both equally serious offenses. When Wilhelm throws up his hands and requests a shortlist of acceptable answers, Jan-Olof happily complies and Wilhelm picks between them at random. (No, Wilhelm, Jan-Olof cannot give the interview for you. And stop muttering under your breath, it’s unbecoming.)

Years from now, friends will stumble upon the resulting profile and roast Wille for his bewilderingly awful taste. They’ll roast him for a lot more – the article is a festival of cringe from start to finish – before quickly moving on to more interesting topics, but Wille will linger over the faded pages, hardly recognizing the boy in the stiff, airbrushed portrait or his alleged thoughts. Simon will refuse to let him burn it.

A/N: in honor of Friday, a glimpse of a happier future?

A/N 2: in a short-lived version of the ending, Wilhelm runs out of fucks to give at the interview and declares the IKEA catalog his favorite book "because it’s so soothing and suitably Swedish," but I couldn’t make the bit work. I’m pretty ugh about this one, but I’m going to post it anyway because Not Obsessing is the point.

#willemonth2024 #young royals #wilmon #yr fanfiction #yr fic #yr ficlet #crown prince wilhelm

[todayisafridaynight]

when aoki ryo gets a tiktok account to appeal to the younger generation and get higher approval ratings, what kinds of videos do you think his pr team would post?

i cant answer this ask seriously cause all i thought about was hillary clinton going 'im just chillin in cedar rapids'

#snap chats #HELP I JUST REMEMEBRED BESTIE AND I WERE JOKING ABOUT BLEACH JAPAN RUNNING THE CRINGIEST TOK EVER #aoki's screaming from his office but he cant do anything about it #who's making fancams of the governor #onea them bitches watching all of aoki's tv appearances and making official fancams idc #my god these fuckin noodles are so good hang o i have to interrupt this ramble #ugh anyway what the fuck was i talking about #aoki's cringe ass tiktoks #i want to live in a reality where tiktok exists in the 90's just so soemone can unearth aoki's cringe thirst traps #but back on topic uhhh i think theyd just post like. funny interview moments or moments that make him likeable #yk the usual

[toxifoxx]

truly at the end of the day its all about receiving validation

#<- was having a lot of fun drawing fat william till he stopped to think about what other people might think #<- very important that people like him just as much as i do #<- incredibly important (i love him so much and his character is so much more nuanced than the fandom ever gives him credit for #and he already gets shat on way too often by people who don't understand what they're talking about) #truly the amount of hate based around him being a murderer is insane. Brother he's not a real life murderer. he's not going to #come out of the screen and hurt you #I NEED PEOPLE TO AT LEAST LIKE HIM A LITTLE BIT *bursts into tears* #and i need validation #and getting people to simp for him and think oh hes hot 😳 is one of the easier and more entertaining ways to get nice comments #what i lack in skill and talent i can make up for in character design and suggestive subtext right? #ugh #i dunno it feels like the only way to get people to say sometjing nice about my art sometimes #don't get me wrong i adore drawing him slutty but. ougggghhhhhh #hope it doesnt sound like im implying he's less attractive if hes fat personally i think hes hot as fuck #its mostly about stupid ass conventionally attractive shit #and also that people get bullied for portraying him fat... That too #anyways #im normal again now #toxi.txt

[runawaymun]

.

#sorry let me rant real quick in the tags #cw personal #once again hitting an insurance pothole bc the psych says she accepts my OHP plan HOWEVER the therapy group she is contacted with says #THEY don't #they only accept the insurance if it's through my employer but NOT through the government?????????????? #so there's still some kind of payment??? #anyway I want to scream why is this so complicated #like will she take my insurance or not who's right here #anyway called her back directly and went to voicemail so now I've done all I can for now #why the hell is this so hard man #the person on the phone didn't know really how to explain #once again no one knows what they're talking about #like can y'all not communicate and figure this out? #AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #i need to get an ADHD eval before my next PCP appointment in june so that they will continue giving me my meds #and the psychiatry through the hospital has a limited number of visits that insurance will cover #*contracted #not retyping all of that #and once again the only reason this is so stressful is because the psychiatry group at the hospital fumbled the communication ball last tim #and the psychiatrist I was with never put the ADHD on the chart #and now somehow it's MY responsibility to fix that> #UGH #like I am grateful to have some kind of coverage but holy shit is the US healthcare system in shambles #the bureaucracy is INSANE #i had to just sit down and put my head in my hands for a second #and then go 'right okay nothing i can do about that rn moving on' #uGH #literally said 'what the FUCK' out loud a couple times #like not on the phone after I hung up obvs

[gregoftom]

pretty sure i’ve seen romance movies with scenes like this

#tomgreg #where do i even start with t his horseshit okay here we fucking go. #so tom's first instinct is to go to greg when he's on shaky ground with shiv. the only way he feels safe is to have GREG with him. #who tf would want greg as an attack dog??!?!? lets be fucking real. when he says that i think he means just a dog. just someone loyal. #who loves him and won't dick him around. i think he's pretty tired of it by now. #he wants an alliance with like. ok in this show who would you pick to ally with. i love greg but he's abso useless in terms of skills that #would keep you safe. if anything TOM would keep HIM safe. in fact tom himself says who else has taken care of you. literally spells it out. #he even says greg is a joke; will fail; will fuck up; so what use does he have for tom other than companionship. other than love? #a dog might do tricks for you but your main reason for getting one is usually love. right? at least it should be. it would be in tom's case. #and don't even fucking get me STARTED on ''do you wanna come with me? ...sporus?" like girl. #you know what you told him about nero and sporus right. and now you're saying to him; yeah i was talking about you. #you and me. you're my favourite and i wasn't joking when i said i'd marry you. #the whole while tom is asking greg to be his attack dog his fuckin. eyes and expression we get it you're in love with him. like it's ridic. #and all this coming with phrasing it sounds like they're fucking ELOPING. I HATE IT!!!!!! SHUT UP! stop saying that fucking shit god. god #they are so annoying. anyway #the way tom's voice breaks as he says he has things to do [what things. will i find out later.] and the deal and!! #what am i gonna do with a soul anyways... i have you what do i need it for. and as that paragraph said somewhere. he castrates his soul. #then they giggle and are fucking annoying and greg'S HANDS LOOK LIK EHE'S ABOUT TO IDK. HUG TOM? AROUND THE MIDDLE MAYBE #or do something else. and then they just hug instead and i fucking. ugh. i've had enough tbh good fucking bye

[veggiecorner]

while Mineru's send off is a sweet way of ending totk, I think there should've been an ending similar to Skyward Sword - where Link finds Zelda overlooking Hyrule (or I guess Lookout Landing specifically), and she looks conflicted. Once she notices Link she thanks him again for everything and they sit around in their silence. Zelda then opens up about her time in the past, of how she saw Hyrule being established, the first royal family rule over the land, and the war that followed it. She realized that while the kingdom seemed strong and the people seemed happy, she decided that she doesn't want that for her current land now. She tells him that she now is secure in her decision to not make the same mistakes as her own father, or Rauru has done when ruling over the land. She just wants to help her people - but as equals. I think that would be a good way to show where the story will be in the future - and how Zelda (and Link cause lets be real that man is not leaving her especially after the dragon thing) will spend the rest of her life.

#zelda does not establish the monarchy #i say this to the wall #totk #i keep thinking how sad i was at the end of totk? it didn't necessarily itch...the itch i was looking for #then again neither did botw #bUT AT THE SAME TIME #Like...i was more satisfied in how zelda's character was tied in botw #than i was in totk #cause after totk i was like.....so........ #is she a queen???? does she rebuild the kingdom #personally i think no because the fact that she said “together” or something at the end #but others read it as yes she reestablishes it #AND THE FUCKING INTERVIEW you know what i'm talking about #anyways #thats why i'm so!!1 ugh about the future of zelda games and how devs were like “we want players to build their own story” #NO!!! no then we're gonna have this mess and a lack of character building!! #zelda #AND ANOTHER THING i just straight up didn't care about Mineru enough to ...care about that ending

[shopcat]

help someone just liked my pinned then unliked it because people for some reason think you can't see that and literally one look and i knew what it was that made them not follow lol 😭. weirdo... seriously though do people forget notifications exist or something

#🐾 #top tags includes the phrase ''mascphobia'' motherfucker...? what the hell are you even talking about #transphobia? lesbophobia?! it's almost like there's words for this already #i dunno i don't like to be like someone who is deeply entrenched in all the various discourses but it's really frustrating all the same #to like. be accused by your own community of ''betraying'' them for simply not letting them be transmisogynists #like no one has seriously ever once said transmascs and trans men don't experience unique oppression it's just that the word for that is #FUCKING. TRANSPHOBIA. IDIOT. and everything else is just NORMAL MISOGYNY like i'm sorry #my dad telling me to clean and cook for him is because he thinks i'm a woman. it's also transphobic. it doesn't become something NEW. ugh #whateverrr. blocked them anyway but they're coming from a post they already reblogged so well change your heart or die

[sieglinde-freud]

ohhh i j remember i pulled arcane ophelia when she dropped and just never fuckin used her… i ALMOST gave her tome to odin to fix him up, but…. hehewgahehe laurentttttt i have some shiny new toy for youuuuu come home baby girl come HOME!

#ann cries about feh #arcane devourer for inigo and arcane whatever for laurent my boys are SO IN IT #hopefully severas prf is good but. its severa. of course its good. #you know im kind of winning with most of the awakening kids #i’d say most of them are actually really fucking solid units with their refines #my owains kind of bad but thats probably my fault… i put all my investment into odin instead cuz he was easier to merge #but like kjelle yarne cynthia nah lucina m!morgan all got solid refines #kjelle especially shes one of my crutches for her #geromes was kind of mid but he makes up for it by being a walking ball of attack and def stats #and if i get lucina (WHICH I WILL. SHES COMING HOME. IM NOT MISSING ANOTHER LUCI) he can take her axe #also yeah im still missing legendary lucina and spring lucina #i have the worst legendary banner luck… i always get something but never what im looking for #and spring lucina… WHY IS SHE COLOR SHARING WITH FUCKING XANDER #SPRING FUCKING XANDER GET AWAY FROM MEEE #ugh. anyways. what was i talking about #oh my noire sucks. i pulled a -atk one and didnt build her cuz i was convinced she’d be on the eventual second gen banner #she’ll almost definitely be on the next awakening banner now but who knows when thatll be #time to give in and build her but i REALLY hate her summer alt… i really do #and its like. the art isnt BAD. it looks good. and it looks like noire. but its like. she looks so scared and uncomfortable #like not my girl why would u do this to my girl…. #ANYWAYS THO LAURENT IS WHO I WAS TALKING ABOUT YES NEW TOME FOR HIM WOOO

[running-in-the-dark]

just now realising that it's kinda weird that every damn thing I did as a kid, even accidentally, still gets dragged out all the time as proof of how mean and bossy I was.

meanwhile one of my brothers stabbed my other brother with a screwdriver and it's just so funny. one of them jumped on my back when we were fighting and hurt me so bad that I couldn't get up for an hour (and I got yelled at). one of them broke someone else's property on purpose and it's just a funny anecdote about how he and his friend had to pay for the damage. they stole cash and very expensive alcohol, so funny and cute. they got drunk all the time and started smoking at 12.

which is all fine. people do stupid things as kids. but it sucks that I'm always the difficult one, the one that causes trouble, the mean one. the worst thing I ever did was drop out of school because I was too terrified and depressed to keep going. this is somehow proof that I was such a difficult child to raise, so hard to be around. not that my parents completely failed me in every way, or anything like that.

my brother attacked me this year. but that's totally excusable because surely he had his reasons (yeah, I disagreed with him and wouldn't back down. great.) and I probably just misunderstood (how?!) and anyway it wasn't really that bad. he yelled at me for daring to disagree with him, insulted me and then grabbed me when I told him to get out. but he's just having a hard time and can't express his feelings well and can't I just forgive him?

but I'm bad for things I did when I was 15 or 10 or 5 or literally a baby. I'm bad for things that never happened. I'm bad for things that other people did. I'm just bad.

#yes I am still bitter about this stuff #I wouldn't be. but they keep bringing it up #I'm so tired of not being able to do anything right #I've been so nice and patient and always friendly for literally. 10 years. a third of my life. I try so hard to not upset them or do #anything wrong #but my mother still says my brothers are scared of me #and uses things against me that I did in primary school #ugh #anyway #I'm having a hard time and keep thinking about this today #I'm just so tired of it #I can't even defend myself #because that gets turned into you can't take a joke and we're just joking around and why are you so angry #I raise my voice slightly to be fucking HEARD and I'm hysterical #my brother screams at me and he's just not good at talking about his feelings #it all feels so unfair #it doesn't matter what I do or who I am. I've been the bad one since my brother was born and I'm so tired #personal

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

saw a tiktok that was about how the OP doesn't like when villains are evil and do evil things like murder just for fun bc it's "boring" and no offense but when did you guys collectively forget/refuse to learn how to make villains sexy and cool and fun

#not to mention it was specifically talking about 'an artist's villain oc' #which is like. damn. as an artist #(which i could tell op was bc the whole thing was made of their tablet drawings being recorded in time with the audio. yknow how it is) #you would theoretically be the last person to shit on how another artist wants to make their ocs #like not only are you the boring one but youre also fucking mean for shitting on someone's character choice #genuinely think the kylofication of 'villains' in fandom has caused vast and devastating damage #like. Dr. Doofenshmirtz did not spend a 4 year long summer trying to take over the tristate area for you to say some dumb ass shit like #'ugh villains who are evil for fun are so boooooring' no YOU are boring and sad and perhaps even homophobic (okay im /j abt the last one) #mine #anyway i think all fandom tiktokers need to read a brief pamphlet about What A Villain Is before they try to have Takes on any villain ever #(...maybe im /hj on the homophobic part actually)

[skeletalheartattack]

theres another member of zarbons species in the moro arc of dragon ball super! he transforms into a differentmonster form than zarbon

Yuzun! i know him! or well, i kinda know him. i'm not really caught up or invested in anything Dragon Ball related beyond Buu Saga, but i've learned somewhat about him.

i think he's pretty neat! and i'm really happy they expanded Zarbons race just a little bit with Yuzun. though you hate to hear how he went out... there's no peace for my mans race. i hate this solar system. fuuuck.

#ask #shelbybunny #i like his design :) although its really hard to top zarbon's.............. <- sorry just those combinations of words turned off his brain. #understand okay? #i think his monster form is cool! idk if id be as weird about his monster form as i am with Zarbons :) but i like him #i dont know if Super would have this part in the anime... idk anything about super... but i imagine Yuzun having a surfer dudes voice #kinda like yajirobe's voice yknow #atleast that was always my first impression. though i guess i could see a similar regal voice coming from him #though ogh those wrist bands. i dont think anything for me could top Zarbons arm warmers #Zarbons arm warmers have always stuck out in my brain as like one of my favourite details. #literally would love to have some like... thick pink nylon arm warmers. thats how ive always imagined Zarbons to be #or a fabric similar to nylon. that smooth soft fabric yknow. that good shit. #i think if i wore those my brain would turn off because id be stimming those shits. #anyway :) yuzuns really neat. continuously happy knowing theres more of his race than just Zarbon #fuck frieza girlies. there'd be so much more of Zarbons race if it werent for that bitch bastard. #i'll never get behind the frieza zarbon dynamic. ive always kinda seen zarbon as being afraid of frieza #like its more obvious near his last few episodes in the show but. ugh man. #i believe what zarbon said in his final moments of saying he'd turn to vegetas side and go against frieza. #then that little bitch put a hole in him. horrible horrible. hate on planet namek. #anyway! thank you for the ask :) i appreciate getting to talk about Yuzun a little bit

[skrunksthatwunk]

kinda drives me up a wall when people go "hey i think x action in a war/combat scenario is inhumane and cruel and shitty" and someone responds with "oh but within the laws of war it's allowed or there's procedure for it etc etc". it doesn't have to be a war crime to be unforgivable man it's a shitty rulebook anyway

#like whether or not something's bad isn't determined by whether or not it adheres to arbitrary rules people made up and never obey #i thought we all knew that already. c'mon man. get a grip #obviously war crimes are bad but that's not where the badness potential ends y'know #this post is due to my dad talking about smth i sent him mentioning US troops firing on a bunch of guys in smth on deserters and he was lik #well they're not like citizens or refugees or deserters they're retreating enemy combattants. so it's different. #it IS different but isn't it still like. overly brutal? idk. #like would you want them to pursue Your ppl regardless? are they not allowed mercy just because you proved stronger? your positions could #be swapped easily and you'd think that as fellow combattants you would feel that deeply. idk maybe i'm just too soft or whatever but like. #seems stupid to me. war generally seems stupid to me but this specifically right now seems stupid to me #yes i know there are practical concerns and sacrifices in combat that make sense when you're actually there and me saying there should be n #wars and we should make it a fucking priority to not have wars doesn't mean ppl already in a decision-making role in the field should do #what i (an idealist) would do. they're responsible for minimizing loss and shit. whatever. doesn't mean it's not fucked up anyway. #and that's assuming the best case scenario for a leader in such a position. usually they just want to minimize Their side's losses. usually #by maximizing the other side's. or they just want to win and will sacrifice anyone for it if it's practical #which happens a Lot. usually it's a mix of the latter two to my understanding #as if americans' lives matter more than anyone else's and the other side doesn't have a right to mourn bc they offended us somehow #ugh that shit irks me so bad dude. there'll be like a terrorist attack in europe or smth and the news'll be like #ONE AMERICAN WAS KILLED. and twenty swiss. THE AMERICAN WAS VISITING FAMILY THERE ON SUNDAY MORNING WHEN TRAGEDY STRUCK etc etc #fucking hate that. i don't care if they're on 'my team' or whatever they're all equally human and equally dead #why the hell should i care if one of them was an american. just say 21 people died. like i get reporting on it briefly ig to like notify #ppl At Best but like. it's so grating. why can't you be normal about other people fucking goddamn you #why is this a controversial statement. why is giving a shit about people killing each other (often for like 10 ppl's financial gain) wrong #like. come on. i don't care if they 'deserve it' or whatever because i don't think they do. and even if they Did i don't think it's #America's Time To Step Up!!! every time smth like this happens (but only when it is financially beneficial to us to do so #such that we ignore atrocities all the fucking time bc it's inconvenient. we're not superheros. we're cops.) #not saying america shouldn't do anything bc like. idk. you screw everyone over to have all the power maybe you should use that influence fo #good. but my definition of 'good' is wayyyy way different from everybody who's ever held office here apparently so like. nuts to that #eugh. anyway im cutting myself off here rant over. for now