#ugh I can’t believe I’m kinda engaging in discourse

[jewishjon]

Look, I love Jon as much as the next person but I think some of you have gone so far along the ‘Jon is a sad little man who did nothing wrong’ route that you’ve genuinely forgotten all the times he held power in a situation or like. Made a decision that hurt people

#yes Jon was in a terrible situation where he was manipulated and was often powerless and blamed for things he had no control over #yes there have been times where the fandom has been overly critical of Jon and it’s ok to try to combat that #but that does not mean Jon is completely powerless and ‘stupid’ and did nothing wrong!!!! #the entire Point of tma is that the morality of your actions and their results cannot be simply defined as good or bad #Jon was just a person who tried and sometimes failed #also it was a pretty big part of s5 that Jon was the most powerful person in the world. like. did we forget about the murders or #AND the stalking AND him being a totally arse to Martin in s1 #anyway I understand where the poor little meow meow characterisation comes from but to me it’s just doing a disservice to Jon #ugh I can’t believe I’m kinda engaging in discourse #gonna be brave and maintag this: #tma #the magnus archives #Jon sims #be nice to me pls

[tin-wufborf]

Teen Wolf Rewatch: Season 1, Episode 1—“Wolf Moon”

All right, party people, please prepare yourself for my morally grey and overly cynical rewatch of a show I both love and hate more than anything. Also, I’m a rambler and a ranter, so this is gonna be long, no doubt.

Also, fair warning, I am not a fan of Scott McCall, so if you’re a proud card-holding member of the Scott McCall Defense Squad (dumb name btw), I recommend that you keep on scrolling because you do not want to engage in discourse with me. I am a petty little bitch and absolutely will argue with you for the sake of arguing. Ya’ll get hilariously upset about people’s dislike of him, and it gives me great joy to see the absolutely pathetic length’s you’ll go to in order to protect this piece of shit ass character.

I know he can’t help it, but I could not stop staring at DOB’s stress herpes that appears intermittently throughout this episode. Like, you can almost track what order scenes were filmed in based on the size of the middle of his top lip. Poor baby was absolutely pressed on his first real acting gig, and his body was absolutely responding to it.

As someone who is from Northern California and has spent time in our wooded areas and forests, it is laughable to me how much these Georgia woods could not be mistaken for California forests in a police lineup. Like, I know they had to make do with what they had, but holy fuck, the foliage in these two states aren’t even fucking close, my dude.

I always love that Scott has a guitar in his room throughout the entirety of the show, but we never once find out whether or not this fool can actually play. Like, it’s literal set dressing, and it’s even more hilarious when you consider that Tyler Posey actually can and does play the guitar. They could have given Scott a cool little skill if they wanted, but they were like “eh, he does lacrosse, that’s enough character traits for Scott”.

Maybe Scott had a fucking asthma attack while looking for the body because he wouldn’t just shut the fuck up and stop complaining about the thing he wasn’t forced to do. Jesus christ, Scott, shut the fuck up. We get it. You don’t wanna be here. But then, like, why did you go?

I also love that they wanted us to believe that Scott was that severely asthmatic at the beginning, but they start the show by showing him putting on a pretty impressive pull-up show and having a pretty nice body before being bitten, like ???

I love the Sheriff shining a flashlight through the sparse trees in the woods like you can’t see everything out there. You could run blindfolded through these trees and not hit a single fucking thing because everything is so damn far apart.

On a related note to the point above, where the fuck did these deer just appear from?? They literally just come from some sort of liminal space that exists behind the trees. Is there a platform nine and three-quarters situation happening in the trees of Beacon Hills?

All of the dead bodies and crime scenes in this show are so clean, my god.

I would have beat the fucking freckles off of Jackson Whittemore for how he treats people, stg. Little fucking punk-ass rich could. Ugh.

I kind of vaguely recall that the reason BHHS is all about lacrosse is that Jeff Davis was trying way too hard to be different, but like…what fucking Northern California public high school is this meant to represent? I’m not saying that it doesn’t or can’t possibly exist, but I would say that the overwhelmingly popular sports in our area are still your basic ass football, baseball, and basketball. In these parts, that’s a rich kid sport. Some public schools have lacrosse teams, but they tend to be even less popular than soccer teams out this way.

So, I love Lydia (or, more so, I love what fans have postulated about her and built her up to be in fandom because she actually kinda sucks as a character with real dimension in the show), but like…she is the worst version of a popular hot chick ever. Lydia Martin is a straight-up bitch in the first season of this show. Like…what a shallow little cunty bitch.

Will continue in a reblog because apparently this has gone on too long and Tumblr likes to tell me what to do.

#thoughts #my thoughts #a rant #teen wolf #tws01e01 wolf moon #i swear i like this show guys #i just have a lot of thoughts feelings and opinions #scott mccall #jackson whittemore #lydia martin #allison argent #stiles stilinski #derek hale

[artificialqueens]

Undone, Chapter 25 (Bitney) - Stephanie/Veronica

A/N: Hello, beautiful people!! Thanks for your patience with the slow updates. Previous chapters are here. Much love and gratitude to the wonderful @jimvssherlock and guardian angel @missdandee for beta reading.

Summary: Relationships are work. But sometimes fun work.

TW: References to past emotional abuse & PTSD

***

“Hey!” Courtney sets a couple of bags on the counter, fruits and veggies procured from the Farmer’s Market, and smiles brightly at Bianca.

“Hi,” Bianca smiles back, stirring a pot on the stove.

“What’cha making?”

“Applesauce.”

“People actually do that?” Courtney asks. She begins to put away the groceries. “I thought that was just a thing in like, movies about women in Vermont.”

Bianca lifts an eyebrow.

“Really, applesauce throws you? Doesn’t your dad ferment soybeans to make his own tofu?” she asks.

“Yeah, but he’s crazy,” Courtney laughs.

“Fair enough, but you’re a vegan. How do you not know the most basic thing to do with an apple?”

“The most basic thing to do with an apple is to eat it raw. The next most basic thing is to juice it. You’re actually cooking it, on a stove. That’s not basic at all.” Courtney leans against the door frame.

“Juicing requires equipment that you have to take apart to clean,” Biana counters. “This is a pot and 3 ingredients.”

“That’s why I have the juice guy do it,” she answers, grinning.

“Well, by that logic, I could just buy a jar of applesauce.”

“Exactly!” Courtney exclaims. “I’m so glad you see my point.”

Bianca reaches out and grabs her, pulling her close.

“Why are you arguing with me?” She chases Courtney’s mouth with her lips, letting out a little frustrated groan when Courtney evades her kiss.

“I’m not arguing. I’m engaging in lively discourse,” Courtney teases. She stops moving, allowing Bianca to capture her mouth, sliding her hands into her hair. Bianca’s lips trail down her jaw to her neck, nipping softly at her skin.

“You’re a pain,” Bianca murmurs against her neck, dimples deep in her cheeks.

“I know,” Courtney smiles to herself, tilting her head to give her better access. After a few moments, she adds, “So...tell me about this allegedly simple recipe.”

Bianca pulls away, all business, and gestures to the stove. “Okay. So, you’ve put apples, peeled and cut up-”

“Ugh, I’m already exhausted!” Courtney moans dramatically.

“-Into the pot, with some water. A generous splash of orange juice. Or you can steal the rest of your girlfriend’s fancy fresh-squeezed artisanal tangerine juice.”

“How very dare you!” Courtney feigns offense.

“And then…” Bianca pauses to kiss her on the cheek. “...You add a fuck ton of cinnamon. Which I was about to do. Wanna grab it for me?”

“Sure.” Courtney turns and walks to the pantry as Bianca gives the saucepan a stir. “Okay, I feel like you just compulsively re-arranged this spice shelf and now it’s a mess again.”

“And whose fault is that?” Bianca asks.

“Babe, I’m sorry, it’s just that sometimes when I need something, I don’t have a lot of...Thyme.” Courtney holds up a small jar, a delighted smile on her face.

“You look way too proud of that one,” Bianca says, shaking her head and trying not to laugh.

Courtney blinks, giving her sad puppy eyes, picking up another jar, and asks, “Are you trying to say that you don’t want to...Dill with me anymore?”

Bianca can’t help laughing, and strides over to her, pressing her against the open cabinet, attacking her with more kisses.

“You’re ridiculous, and I fucking love you so much,” she whispers.

“Well…” Courtney sighs against her. “That’s ‘cause we’re Mint to be…”

“Oh my god.” Bianca releases her, still laughing. “Just give me the fucking cinnamon, you dweeb.”

***

Bianca jolts awake, startled, to the sound of the smoke detector wailing, dogs howling frantically along with it. She races down the hall to the kitchen to find the back door and all the windows thrown open, a blackened pan smoking in the sink, full of the charred remains of...Bianca can’t even tell.

Courtney’s standing on a chair, trying to reset the smoke detector.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah…” Courtney finds the button and presses it, then looks down at Bianca sheepishly. “I, uh...had a bit of a mishap.”

“You don’t say!” Bianca laughs, rubbing her eyes.

“How do you feel about going out for dinner?”

“You read my mind.” Bianca meets her hopeful grin and flashes her dimples.

***

“BABYYYY!” Adore cries, racing over to Courtney and attacking her with hugs and kisses. She’s just come in from the smoking patio, utterly delighted to see her recently absent friend at the bar. “Omigod, we haven’t hung out in so long!”

“I missed you too,” Courtney says. She can see Bianca’s shoulders tense, and so she pushes Adore gently. When her friend doesn’t take the hint, she adds, “How many have you had, anyway?”

“Enough!” she giggles.

As Adore continues to pepper kisses all over Courtney’s face, Bianca clears her throat uncomfortably. It’s been awhile since she’s had to confront this embarrassing jealousy she has over their relationship, although Courtney pulling away from Adore slightly and putting a hand on her arm does help a little. Adore seems to catch on too, as she looks up finally, grinning at her.

“Whatsa matter, B, you want some sugar too?”

“That’s not exactly what I was-” Bianca is cut off by Adore wrapping her into a hug and placing a wet kiss on her forehead. “Lovely, thank you.”

“Listen, you can’t blame her for missing you,” says Sasha, bumping her hip against Courtney’s. “We all did. It’s been a minute.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Courtney says.

“It’s my fault,” Bianca says, hoping to diffuse the tension, knowing that the blame for Courtney’s absence falls squarely on her shoulders. “I’m very high maintenance.”

“You are not,” Courtney turns to Bianca, smiling from ear to ear and reaching for her hand.

“Mmm, I kinda believe her, since she’s got a full face of makeup and blowout on a Friday night...here,” Shea comments, gesturing around at the casual bar surroundings.

“Yep, that’s fair,” Bianca chuckles, nodding. She catches Shea’s dark eyes and shrinks a little. In spite of how nice Shea’s been to her, she can sense the disapproval. Very fair indeed.  

“Well...whatever,” Courtney says, leaning on Bianca’s shoulder, fingers laced together.

Although her expression remains unchanged, Bianca’s heart soars. Simply the feeling of Courtney’s body against hers, the way she clasps Bianca’s hand between hers, gently trapping her fingers, all of it is exactly what Bianca’s been longing for. She knows that she’ll most likely have an uphill battle with Courtney’s friends, given their history; she’s not stupid. If she were them, she’d be telling Courtney to fucking run. She kisses Courtney’s temple, breathing her in.

“I’m gonna head to the bar. You want anything?” Bianca picks up her handbag. It’s probably necessary for Courtney to have a few minutes alone with her friends. They obviously need to clear the air, and everyone is too polite to do it in front of her.

“Whatever you’re having,” Courtney says with a shrug.

“I’m drinking ginger ale. You’re not the one who can’t drink,” Bianca reminds her quietly.

“Why can’t you drink, B?” Adore drapes an arm over her shoulders.

“Antibiotics,” she answers quickly. “I had an ear infection.”

“Ear infection, huh? That’s what they’re calling gonorrhea these days?” Adore snickers, and for the first time all night, Pearl laughs with her, seemingly roused from her general sleepy daze.

‘Sorry,’ Courtney mouths silently.

“Listen,” Adore continues, gesturing to Courtney. “If you want her to put out, get her a tequila.”

“Shut up, cunt,” Courtney laughs.

Bianca squeezes Courtney’s hand as she wheedles, “Let me buy you a drink. We can pretend we’re a normal couple...who met in a bar.”

“Fine,” Courtney gives in, suppressing a grin. “Um...vodka soda, I guess?”

“You got it.” Bianca presses a soft kiss to her cheek and heads to the bar, Adore on her heels.

“So…” Shea begins, the second they’re out of earshot. “This is new.”

“Yup.” Courtney shifts, trying not to look or sound defensive. These are her friends. They’re just looking out for her. And given the history, their concern is valid - even if it’s wrong. Probably.

“Look,” Sasha says. “We’re not judging you, I-”

“Speak for yourself! I’m fully judging you. That bitch-”

“Easy…” Sasha places a gentle hand on Shea’s arm.

Shea takes a breath and continues in a softer voice. “She fucked you, and then ghosted you for how many weeks? Do you not remember how miserable you were? Then she moved in, and now you’re-”

“It’s complicated!” Courtney exclaims, then stops and sighs. Getting defensive was exactly what she was trying not to do.  

Shea stares at her for a moment. Then, she slowly turns to Pearl, asking, “ You got weed, right?”

“Duh.”

“I need a minute. See ya in a few.” Shea kisses Sasha and pulls Pearl towards the patio.

Courtney looks down at her hands. She wants to explain, especially to Sasha, who’s looking at her with an infuriating amount of empathy. It’s worse than Shea’s judgment.

“Are you gonna lecture me now?” Courtney asks tiredly.

“Depends. Are you happy?”

Courtney looks back up at her, a smile pulling at her mouth. “I really am. I know it’s not an ideal situation, but...god, I love her so much. I’ve never felt this way before. Never.”

“Okay.” Sasha takes a sip of her drink and then puts it down.

“That’s it?”

“Yup...for now.”

Courtney flings her arms around her friend, hugging her tightly.

“Thank you, I’ll take it.”

***

It’s been awhile since Courtney’s had any drinks and they go straight to her head almost immediately. One and a half later, and she’s all over Bianca on the dance floor.

“Guess what?” Courtney murmurs, sliding her arms around Bianca’s shoulders.

“What?”

“You are...so hot.”

“You’re drunk,” Bianca replies, dimples piercing her cheeks.

“So?” Courtney pulls her closer, eyeing her up and down in a way that sends shivers up Bianca’s spine. “I’m still right.”

Bianca leans forward, lips grazing the underside of Courtney’s jaw until she hears a breathy whimper. She can’t help remembering the last time they danced together, how every molecule of her body ached to kiss her, to hold her, and how instead she panicked and fled.

Tonight, she makes no such mistake, arms wrapped securely around Courtney’s waist, the press of the crowd creating a warm cocoon around them. Her light, teasing kisses growing longer and deeper and messier until the blown-out pupils in Courtney’s eyes tell her that they’re getting into the danger zone.

God damn Bob and her rules.

“Um...do you wanna go outside for some air?” Bianca whispers.

“‘Kay.”

***

Courtney leans against the railing of the patio, trying to breathe in the ocean air, clear her head a little. She still feels pleasantly fuzzy when Shea sidles up.

“Where’s your boo?”

“Bathroom.” Courtney takes another sip of her drink. So much for sobering up. She’d rather be drunk for this conversation.

“Sasha says I’m being too harsh.”

“Nahh. I know you’re looking out,” Courtney shrugs.

“You just...you can’t let people get away with treating you like shit,” Shea says.

“I know that. Do you really think I’d be with her if she didn’t have a very fucking good reason for the way she acted?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never seen you so...twitterpated.”

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“You know, when all those woodland creatures in Bambi fall in love and act like idiots? You’re like a starry-eyed little school girl.”

“So?” Courtney turns to her, shrugging.

“Well, I’m used to seeing you kinda...detached, I guess, even when you really like someone. It’s disconcerting.” Shea chuckles. “I figured you must just literally be getting your brains fucked out.”

“Hardly. We’re actually not...fucking. Currently. Yet.”

“Wait, are you serious?!”

Shea seems so shocked that Courtney laughs.

“Okay, don’t look so scandalized. I’m trying to be smart about it and take my time before we jump into anything. Plus she’s still dealing with getting out of a really shitty marriage, and her emotions are all over the place because she’s getting into her second tri-” Courtney stops abruptly. Even in her drunken state, she knows that this was an egregious error. It doesn’t help allay suspicion when she claps a hand over her mouth.

Shea stares at her for a moment, eyes narrowing.

“Getting into her second what?”

“Uhhh…”

“Courtney…” For some reason, Shea sounds exactly like Courtney’s mother, and it tears down the rest of her defenses. She’s not getting out of this one.

“Trimester,” Courtney admits, and she’s immediately flooded with guilt. For one thing, she’d promised not to say anything. It could severely fuck up Bianca’s life if this got back to Jared before she’s ready. And worse, she feels relieved, that finally, she’s not the only one holding the burden.  

Her relief is short-lived, though, as she watches Shea, mouth hanging open. Courtney’s never seen her silent for this long, and she starts to fidget nervously.

“I shouldn’t have told you that, I really...You can’t say anything, please…oh god, I really fucked up, didn’t I?”

Shea holds up a hand and closes her eyes, taking a deep breath before saying simply, “Did you say...” and then stopping.

“Yeah.”

“So like…”

“Yeah,” Courtney repeats. “But I-”

“Wait. Wait.”

Courtney shuts her mouth, waiting in terror for what she’s going to say next. Soon enough, the floodgates open.

“So now you're gonna be a fucking mother?!"

“Shhhh!” Courtney hisses, explaining quietly, “And no. She is. I'm gonna be like…”

“A stepmother?”

“No! Just like...I dunno. A helper...person. We haven’t really figured it out, but it’s definitely her baby.”

Shea shakes her head, still dumbfounded.

“Shit, man.”

“Please don’t tell anyone,” Courtney begs, seeing Adore heading over. “Please.” Shea gives her an incredulous look and then Courtney clarifies, “Okay, no one besides Sasha.”

“Fine.”

Courtney grips the railing, taking another deep breath. A baby. There’s a baby coming. But not just a baby. A person. A person who is gonna grow up and ask questions and get hurt and need her. For some reason, it’s never felt real before this moment. And now...she should be terrified. But instead, she just feels nervous excitement. Which is strange, because like she told Shea, it’s not her baby.

But when she catches Bianca strolling back out of the corner of her eye, a huge grin spreads across her face. It doesn’t matter, she realizes, gazing at her, heart bursting out of her chest. All that matters is that they love each other, and soon enough, a new little person is going to be here. Our little person, Courtney finally allows herself to think.

“What?” Bianca touches her face self-consciously, leaning against the railing beside Courtney. Suddenly just a little too far away for Courtney to bear.

Courtney shakes her head, not finding any words in this moment, instead taking Bianca’s hand and lifting it to her lips, placing a tender kiss against her fingers.

“What’s that for?” Bianca asks.

“No reason…” Courtney says, pulling her close. The warmth of her skin is a perfect contrast to the ocean breeze. “Let’s go back to the dance floor…”

***

“So,” Bob begins. “How are things going?”

“Um...pretty good. I think.” Bianca is careful not to oversell how she’s feeling today. Which is good. Really good. Maybe too good. And she just wants to bask in it for awhile before Bob bursts her bubble.

“Do you feel like the session you had with Courtney was productive?”

“Oh yeah. I mean, I’m not thrilled about your prescription to hold off on sex longer, but,” Bianca chuckles. “I think it was really necessary for me to hear how she felt. That thing you said, about her putting her own needs aside to be there for me-that’s something that I’ve been worried about too.”

“Have you noticed a change?”

“I think so. I’ve been trying to do more for her. Like, to let her know that I don’t need everything to be about me.”

“Such as?”

“Well...uh, we went out with her friends this weekend, which was fun. She hadn’t seen some of them since before I moved in with her. And at first, she wasn’t drinking, because I’m not, but I made sure she knew it was okay, and so then got absolutely hammered on like, two cocktails.” Bianca shakes her head, laughing. “She’s such a lightweight, it’s hilarious.”

“Sounds like she needed to blow off some steam.”

“Yeah, for sure. And like, she’d been driving into work with me every day even though her call time is usually way later than mine. So I made sure she knows that she doesn’t have to do that. Now she’s got more time to herself in the mornings.” Bianca smiles brightly.

“Bianca, I do want you to understand that, as lovely as these gestures are - and I’m not saying to stop, because it sounds like you’re really making an effort to be considerate, and that’s great - it really ultimately is Courtney’s responsibility to make sure that she’s being honest about her needs and desires,” Bob says.  

“Yeah, and she is! I mean...usually, she’s like, too honest. TMI is kind of her thing.”

Bob chuckles.

“I think she was just trying to take care of me, you know? And so I’m making sure she knows that I can take care of her too. That it’s like what you said...it has to work both ways.”

“Right. But you also both have to be able to function autonomously.”

“Oh my god, you have so many rules,” Bianca whines, dropping her head into her hands.

“Look, I just don’t want you to go from one type of dysfunctional relationship to another. It would be easy to do that.”

“Well, thanks for the vote of confidence.”

Bob laughs again, folding her hands and leveling her gaze directly at Bianca.

“In case it’s not clear, I have a lot of confidence in you, and in Courtney, and your ability to create something long-lasting and fulfilling. That is absolutely within your reach.”

Dimples appear in Bianca’s cheeks as mumbles a modest, “Thanks doc.”

Bob goes back to her pad, jotting down a note and saying, “I’m gonna send you some simple trust-building exercises that you can do together.”

“Oh good,” Bianca says, face screwed up in distaste.

***

Bianca sits on the sofa, working on some beading as the TV drones in the background; the familiar dulcet tones of the Real Housewives strangely soothing. Courtney’s on the floor, playing with the dogs. She’s made some minor progress getting them to fetch, giving them treats every time they deposit a toy into her lap. (Which is only about 5% of the time, but still an improvement from where they started.)

Lulled by the mindless repetition of her work and slightly bored by the endless circular arguments on TV, Bianca finds her attention on Courtney. There’s something a little heavy about her demeanor today, and Bianca worries that maybe she’s holding back again.

“Hey…” Bianca nudges her with a foot, and Courtney turns around to smile at her. Bianca studies the smile closely, trying to figure out what’s behind her eyes before coming to the unfortunate conclusion that she’s not a mind reader. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I don’t know. You seem a little...subdued.”

“Mmm…” Courtney leans her head on the back of the couch. “I’m just thinking.”

“About?”

Her nose wrinkles in mild embarrassment and she shakes her head.

“It’s kind of silly.”

“Try me.” Bianca carefully sets her work on the side table, giving Courtney her full attention.

“Just...what might have happened if we’d met under different circumstances. I mean...do you remember when we first met?” Courtney remembers the entire day with perfect clarity. Or at least, she thinks she does. Sometimes it feels like her memory is playing tricks on her - was that initial attraction actually mutual? Was Bianca as receptive to her flirting as it felt at the time?

“Of course.”

“What...what were you thinking? That first day?”

“Um…” Bianca takes a deep breath and lets out a dry chuckle. “Honestly? I was thinking…‘better stay far away, because this girl is bad news. She’s gonna turn your whole world upside-down.’”

Courtney nods, accepting that answer. It’s more or less what she was expecting.

“I was wrong, though.”

“You were?” This, Courtney isn’t prepared for. She looks up at Bianca questioningly.

Bianca nods, taking a beat to think about what she wants to say before replying.

“My world was already upside-down,” she admits. “You turned out to be the only part that was...right side up.”

As Courtney blinks a few times, expression as hard to read as it’s been all day, Bianca feels her stomach tighten. But then, Courtney crawls over to her, buries her face in Bianca’s lap. Bianca caresses her hair, realizing after a moment that Courtney is crying, and is overcome with tenderness for her, wishing she’d done it all differently. Praying that she can make Courtney feel as secure and loved and treasured as she deserves. Bianca tilts Courtney’s chin up, brushing her tears away with her fingers.

“I just...hate the idea of being some kind of homewrecker,” Courtney confesses, sniffling. “It’s so cheap and gross and...ugh.”

“You didn’t wreck my home,” Bianca tells her, hands cupping her face gently, delicately, as if she might break. “You are my home.”

Courtney climbs up onto the couch, flinging herself into Bianca’s arms. Bianca rocks her, holding her tight, trying to infuse her limbs with all the love and devotion she feels.  

***

The zipper is literally just out of reach, Bianca realizes, huffing slightly. In spite of Courtney’s continued insistence that she looks ‘exactly the same,’ Bianca knows her body, and she knows that she’s put on weight. She may not have a visible bump yet, but she’s definitely feeling fatter and more awkward than ever. Before she can worry too much about it, though, Courtney comes up behind her.

Without being asked, Courtney slowly pulls up the zipper, catching Bianca’s eyes in the mirror and giving her an affectionate smile.

“Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

“Do you think you can help me with this necklace, too?”

“Of course.” Courtney takes the necklace and fastens it, pressing a kiss to her bare neck in the process.

Bianca leans back, taking a few moments to enjoy Courtney’s arms around her before she finishes getting ready.

“You know, you’re the absolute best…” Bianca murmurs.

“Mmm, say it again.”

Bianca laughs, replying, “Nope. Sorry, one compliment a day is all you get.”

“Bummer.”

***

The whole yoga concept was Courtney’s idea. When Bianca came home from a meeting with Asia tense and full of anxiety, she sprang into action, doing a bunch of research to find the best and most relaxing poses for early pregnancy, putting together a customized program “so that you and little Keith Urban Del Rio can de-stress and get some exercise in a chill way.”

Bianca pretends to hate the idea, grumbling as Courtney sets up the living room with mats and puts on a playlist of meditation music. Courtney ignores this, powering through with a smile.

“Remember, I’m not a certified teacher-”

“Thanks, I’m well aware-”

“So make sure you tell me if anything hurts, and we’ll stop right away,” she instructs, before demonstrating the first pose.

After a few minutes, Bianca forgets to complain and just relaxes into it, following Courtney’s calm instructions, guiding her and giving her careful adjustments, being as supportive and encouraging as always. By the end, Bianca lays in the final pose, admitting with some contrition that her body feels great.

“Yay! Oh my god, I’m so good at this!” Courtney exclaims, clapping gleefully.

“Talented and so humble,” Bianca says.

“Oh yeah. I think...it’s hard to decide whether my talent or humility is the most extraordinary thing about me-”

Unable to hold back her laughter any longer, Bianca turns to her and proclaims, “You’re dumb.”

“Mmm, no, I’m actually quite gifted.”

“Uh huh.”

“Yeah, my intelligence is probably the only thing more remarkable than my humility and talent, to be honest,” she says, with such a thoughtful expression that Bianca bursts out laughing again.

“I’m glad you’re so self-aware.”

“Oh yeah, I am! Okay, so it goes...exceptional talent, amazing humility, genius-level intelligence, and like, profound self-awareness. Top qualities.” Courtney flutters her lashes.

“And a nice ass,” Bianca adds.

“Right...god, I’m amazing. How do you stand it?”

Bianca grins, reaching for her hand and pulling her back down to the mat for a kiss.

“I manage.”

Courtney laces their fingers together, giggling, resting a head on Bianca’s shoulder.

“Do you think this counts as nonsexual intimacy?” Courtney asks.

Bianca furrows her brow. After a beat, she asks, “You didn’t come?”

Courtney bursts out laughing, rolling over onto her back while Bianca laughs along with her, dimples deep in her cheeks. If nonsexual intimacy was the name of the game, then making Courtney laugh like this was just about the best thing she could ask for.  

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