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ourlordapollo · 11 months

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Uh oh girl my Kristoph Gavin musings are calcifying into unshakable headcanons

Have we already talked about his pathological need for validation. Can we. Can we talk about it again.

Obviously this is all speculation and knowing the writers, the Gavins probably have some fucked up supernatural backstory and dead parents, but the writers aren't here right now. *locks the doors*

Anyway, for the sake of minimizing stupid ppl yelling at me (assuming I'm brave enough to maintag this instead of letting it rot in obscurity, unrebloggable), please mentally insert "IN MY OPINION" before every statement I make

This is a classic case of choosing a conclusion and retrofitting evidence to support said conclusion but. I'm allowed to do that. I'm not turning this into Professor Fandom for a special grade in "FAN 485: Feverishly Justifying Your Own Bullshit."

Anyway.

Let's recontextualize Kristoph's actions using the following framework:

Kristoph Gavin is a sad little boy in a man's suit, desperate for the validation of everyone around him to the point that he would do anything to get it.

1. Phoenix

A lot of people (alright, haters. A lot of haters. You made me talk like Donald Trump. Are you happy now). *ahem*

A lot of haters like to paint this move as stupid like it's some kind of "gotcha".

"What move?"

The dual move of voting in Phoenix's favor and choosing to befriend him.

Here's the thing.

Of course it's fucking stupid. We're not looking at the pinnacle of criminal masterminds here

Why did he do that? The psychosexual need to force Phoenix to submit? (Actually wait keep talking I want to hear this—) Paranoia? By this point in the timeline, he's already shown a willingness to commit murder, so why not just kill Phoenix?

Because (say it with me now):

Kristoph Gavin is a sad little boy in a man's suit, desperate for the validation of everyone around him to the point that he would do anything to get it.

He's not some wannabe criminal mastermind.

He wants to be Phoenix's savior. He wants to be the only thing Phoenix has. He needs to be the sole recipient of Phoenix's gratitude and admiration. Because he's better than Phoenix, dammit! Of course he's better than Phoenix. Law is a meritocracy, he's got money, he's got white loafers for fuck's sake, he wins trials by working really goddamn hard because being a lawyer is hard for everyone, you don't just stumble ass-backwards into the courtroom and win every case by stuttering and sweating and stalling so OBVIOUSLY KRISTOPH GAVIN IS BETTER THAN PHOENIX WRIGHT! SAY IT! SAY IT! Look! Look at them together! Look who's still a lawyer and who's an evidence-forging fraud! Look how nice Kristoph looks next to this sad burnout! Look! LOOK AT HOW MUCH BETTER HE IS!

Do you see what I'm getting at here.

Obviously on some level he knows and fears that Phoenix really is better than him, and that matters, so he he really really needs Phoenix's validation

And lbr, he probably does have a deep psychosexual obsession with the idea of forcing Phoenix to submit to him

2. Forging evidence

I'm not gonna speculate on Kristoph's lawyering skills here. Really, I'm not. However I'd be cautious about making the argument that he forged evidence solely because he thought Zak was guilty and he reeeaally wanted to win. We saw that it was an extremely tricky case and that Zak's innocence would have been very difficult to prove. It's entirely possible Kristoph believed in Zak's innocence but didn't think he'd be able to prove it without cheating.

That being said, I don't think it matters.

It matters that the case was complicated, but it doesn't matter whether Zak was innocent or guilty or a secret third thing, because Kristoph would have cheated regardless becaaauuuuse

Say it with meeee...

Kristoph Gavin is a sad little boy in a man's suit, desperate for the validation of everyone around him to the point that he would do anything to get it.

He was up against a fucking rockstar. A famous, hotshot, cocky, little upstart rockstar. A young prodigy. A fucking teenager. It didn't matter one bit that they just so happened to be related. Or did it.

Of course he needed to win.

(If you want to get really headcanony with it, which I do, I think the Gavin parents definitely raised their kids with an extreme superiority complex, setting them apart from their peers by straight-up telling them "you are better than they are. You are not like them."

Klavier goes on to prove them right by becoming internationally famous and beloved and Kristoph. Well, Kristoph is, uh. Well, he's a pretty good lawyer. Got his own little office and everything. And then Klavier comes into his domain as a cocky lil teenager with a HUGE, high-profile case and here is Kristoph's chance to demonstrate to the world what he already knows: that he's special too. That he's special. Dammit. Why can't anyone else see that.)

And then Zak takes that away from him. And gives it to Phoenix.

Unforgivable.

3. Apollo & Vongole

Sorry for putting Apollo in the same category as a literal dog but. That's kind of point here.

I've seen ppl theorizing that, although Kristoph seems like a stereotypical cat person, he got a dog (specifically a golden retriever) out of a sense of paranoia bc!! That's normal! Normal people have dogs!!! Wealthy people have purebred golden retrievers!!! I am so normal and wealthy, look at my very average typical status symbol dog!

I humbly disagree. Even the Wiki seems to point to paranoia as Kristoph's chief, driving factor, but I.

Well.

I humbly disagree. Let's not circle back around to this; I'm not trying to discount anyone else's headcanons.

Anyway.

Why a dog and not a cat?

Because cats have a reputation for independence, for coming and going as they please, for not needing you. "Dog," meanwhile, persists as a synonym for "loyal." To call someone a dog implies ultimate trust, ultimate submission, to someone higher than them. To their master.

Now.

Why hire Apollo, specifically, an orphan with few friends or connections and a fuckload of trauma?

Why mentor Apollo? Why adopt a dog? (Why befriend Phoenix?)

The answer is the same:

He needs people to depend on him. He needs others to view him as a kind, benevolent benefactor. He needs their praise, their admiration. He needs people to tell him he's special and he needs other people to see those people telling him he's special and also believe he's special and then he needs additional people to talk to those people and hear about how special he is, he needs the whole wide fucking world to say that KRISTOPH GAVIN IS SPECIAL!!!!

(Although. Maybe he just likes dogs. Not everything has to have a shady ulterior motive. People don't fit neatly into your preconceived categories of "good" and "bad." Maybe he's a murderer who loves dogs and genuinely thinks of Vongole as his best friend. Maybe he saw promise in Apollo and genuinely likes the guy. Did you ever think about that.

Or maybe. It's both. Two things can be true simultaneously and people, both fictional and real, contain multitudes and contradictions we could never hope to understand.)

4. Murdering a guy with a wine bottle, Psyche Locks

I'm gonna be so so real with you, I don't think even Kristoph knows why he did that. I think he blacked out. I think he was a lil drunk ("grape juice" my ass), I think paranoia and fury, the fear and resentment of 7 long, long years, collided like atoms in his brain and fucking exploded I think the bottle was cool in his hand I think his arm hurt I think he felt the impact all the way up his elbow I think the cards were red I think the cards were blue I think he saw Phoenix Wright's face dripping blood I think he blinked I think he heard Vera Misham calling him "angel" I think he watched himself do it from behind his own back

Do you understand.

To even begin unpacking why he did that, he'd have to address that nagging fear that maybe he's not special, that maybe he's just some guy, that Phoenix Wright is special and Gramarye was right in choosing him over Kristoph that Gramarye was justified in taking away Kristoph's shot at admiration and acclaim and Kristoph killed him out of revenge because he couldn't handle the truth that he's not special he's not special he's not special. Phoenix Wright is special and Klavier Gavin is special and now even Apollo Justice is turning out to be special and Kristoph Gavin is an okay-ish lawyer who sucks at poker and talks way too fucking much. That he committed so many monstrous acts and ruined his own life out of the perverse desire to be loved by others because he doesn't. love. himself.

(I call these "load-bearing neuroses" because if you knock one pillar down, the whole structure goes down with it.)

5. Vera Misham

So I think Kristoph is good with kids because he was, for the most part, old enough to be a Small Person when Klavier was born and because I don't think he gets off on exercising that brutal, domineering kind of power over the powerless. I don't think outward cruelty appeals to him.

Why?

Well...

Kristoph Gavin is a sad little boy in a man's suit, desperate for the validation of everyone around him to the point that he would do anything to get it.

Fear and deference are not validation. People talk badly about you and think badly about you when you're a bully. He charmed Vera instead of threatening her because he needed her to like him. He needed Drew to like him. Good god, he needs everyone to like him so much. Talk about him when he's not in the room and tell him what you said. Write him a letter of recommendation and let him read the contents. Sing his praises at your local bar, then send him a recording.

6. "Keep the riff-raff out!"

Ohhh, buddyyyy :( You said the quiet part out loud

Because law is a meritocracy. Because Kristoph Gavin is kind of a big deal. People know him. He's very important. He has many leather-bound books and his apartment smells of rich mahogany.

Only special people are able to become lawyers. And Kristoph is such a special, special boy. He's so special that he got Phoenix disbarred. He's so special that he helped Klavier attain acclaim as a prosecutor. He's so so so special.

But when a group of select people are special, it means that there's another group. The un-special group. The group that Kristoph is so afraid that he's a part of.

By admitting that they exist, that he believes that other people are beneath him, he's asserting his belief in his own inherent superiority one final, desperate time. He's clinging to it so hard his fingertips are cracking the marble. He's starting to bleed. It's starting to hurt.

Before Phoenix, Klavier, and Apollo fucking spin-kick the pillars propping up his self-identity, toppling them and sending the foundation of Kristoph Gavin collapsing into jagged pieces on the floor of his psyche.

—

Personal note but everyone seems to be in agreement that Kristoph's Psyche Locks fuckin. shattered into little bitty pieces during that scene. Don't you think that hurt? Don't you think that hurt like fucking hell? When you break [REDACTED]'s Black Psyche locks in DD, they cry out in pain several times and imply that their head hurts. And that was Phoenix doing it right that time! So I say again:

Don't you think that hurt?

#okay fine im maintagging this thing took me like 3 hours (i was multitasking)#kristoph gavin #aj:aa #apollo justice ace attorney #delphi washington #'op this is oddly specific are you projecting' no im just really really good at writing in 3rd person limited hope this helps x

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thesunshinydays · 2 years

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alright i promised a rant and im gonna deliver:

its genshin vision analysis applied to blaseball time i hope youre all ready

(under the cut because im a merciful poster haha no im not im maintagging this)

SO in genshin impact the only people who can naturally wield elemental magic are people called vision holders. a vision is a small gem that serves as a focus for elemental power, but more than that its a literal manifestation of a persons goals, ambitions, determination, etc and if someones vision is taken away it actually also causes significant damage to them mentally because a lot of their motivation and even sometimes their memories go with it. it is quite literally their vision for themselves.

each vision holder controls only one element and there are enough characters that have been released now to notice trends among what types of people can control which element. in genshin there are seven: anemo (wind), geo (earth), electro (lightning), hydro (water), pyro (fire), cryo (ice), and dendro (plants, though i wont be talking about dendro bc we dont have any dendro characters yet)

so here are what i think a vision holders element says about them as people:

(note if you dont play genshin you can skip the parentheticals its genshin character talk)

anemo: cannot be stopped in pursuit of their ambitions, even by themselves (see: jean insisting on going into a domain even though shes so sick that she passed out, sucrose being so possessed by curiosity that she cant stop investigating until she answers her questions, sayu’s endless game of cat and mouse w the shrine maiden, xiao being the last yaksha to hold out against the karmic debt)

geo: incredibly dependable and/or known to keep their word (see: noelle’s constant help to everyone around her, albedo taking care of klee while remaining dedicated to his research, ningguang sacrificing the jade chamber)

electro: girlbosses and their adopted teenage sons (kidding). people who are integral to the functioning of a community (see: lisa as a force of nature in her care for her library and its patrons, sara as a general, razor and the wolves, yae as head priestess, keqing as the yuheng of the qixing, fischl as the princess of her (imaginary) kingdom)

hydro: they know how to put on one hell of a show, some aspect of their identity is based around performance or facade. (see: barbara aka mondstadts idol, mona’s whole enlightened astrologist demeanor even though shes very broke, xingqius idolization and imitation of martial art book protagonists, sangonomiya having to put on a brave face for her troops, childes gladiatorial love of combat but also lying about it to his younger siblings)

pyro: they press on or even thrive in the face of adversity and/or social stigma (see: xinyan using rock n roll to fight prejudice, xianglings insistence on culinary experimentation even when others think its a bad idea, ambers pride in being the last outrider and also getting her gliding license revoked like once a month for sick tricks, benny’s luck, dilucs vigilanteism, klee being a 5yo w explosives, i could go on theres so many pyro holders)

cryo: their job/sense of purpose is tied very tightly to their identity, often antagonistically (see: every single rosaria voiceline, chongyuns ability to exorcise ghosts just by being to close to them, dionas job as a bartender and her hatred of alcohol, the interactions between eulas lineage and her job as a knight, literally everything about ganyu, etc)

so anyway now im going to assign visions to some blaseball players for fun

mike townsend (has a pyro vision): weve all heard the disappointment song this guy just kept pitching in spite of all the people who wanted him dead good for him

jaylen hotdogfingers, cryo vision: this woman is the face of the discipline era, she was tied so tightly to the game that she was the first to kill for it.

tillman henderson, hydro vision: points to the original “im the guy who sucks” tshirt fanart (hi marn). he took being awful at the game and turned it into performance art

wyatt mason/NaN, electro vision: all of the tacos were him for a while and also he facilitated the god killing with the mic and also there were like ten of him and there are still like two more and NaNs been on like every team and and and anyway name a character more integral to the blaseball community you cant

esme ramsey, anemo vision: if i think too hard about esme ramsey never missing a game ill start to lose my mind the woman is unstoppable. maybe this should actually count as geo i dont know. but she deserves a vision

edric tosser, pyro or geo vision: really stuck on this one tbh. pyro for thematic consistency and the being from an arson team but having been put on the firefighting team or geo for being the person who burns things for the guys in the trench. both iconoclastic and dependable we are all love edric tosser

chorby soul cryo vision: [insert jaws theme] the ritual scape goat can have a little ice magic, as a treat

declan suzanne geo vision: you can always depend on declan suzanne to be a great fire fighter and a terrible blaseball player, tumblr user socksmaybe has convinced me of this

jessica telephone, hydro vision: you dont get that popular without an inherent charisma and sense of performance, regardless of which version of jt you subscribe to

tiana takahashi electro or cryo vision: sometimes you make an incredibly popular trading card game out of cards for a blood splort and gain a fan following on the internet then start playing that splort irl and thats valid

bonus round: i think albedo would start on the hellmouth sunbeams and get feedbacked to the philly pies as a part of the always sunny friendship trades

#blaseball #genshin impact #*impact font on hypnosis background* you want to read my combination blaseball and genshin meta you want to read it SO bad

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