#u mean the cat... right??

[hiphopcherrrypop]

Would you draw some Jabashiri x Hagure fluff? Idk, just something where they are softies for each other ❤️

The brainrot is brainrotting

meoww

#u mean the cat... right?? #bucchigiri?! #bucchigiri #bucchigiri fanart #jabashiri nagare #hagure tatsuto #does this count as fluff #i wanted to do another nicer drawing just of them walking together but i was strugglinggg with it #i looove scenes where a character is like '[the sky or wtvr] is beautiful isnt it??' and the other agrees but is only looking at them #idc how many times i could see it i will always eat that up! #anyways i think hagure would be a big cat person considering he looks like a sopping wet cat half the time #hc he cant have pets at home but there's a sweet neighborhood stray he luvs

[wildstorm312]

pov u die in another dimension and meet its god

#the owl house #amphibia #toh spoilers #toh #toh finale #toh papa titan #amphibia domino #amphibia cat god #three stones deity #the guardian #amphibia guardian #watching and dreaming #the hardest thing #toh crossover #toh fanart #amphibia finale #do u think theyd be friends. cuz i do #i mean. cat is basically god right? and papa titan is also a god but of only the boiling isles #anyway #my art

[3-aem]

MY BRAINS NOT WORKING AND THE CUTE BOY I WORK WITH KEEPS CORRECTING MY GRAMMAR THIS IS SO AHAIWIAKSDHDGRRRRHRNE

#dhakaksdjs fuckdwkufeisfjsjajsueei #im using a translator and it keeps outputting 您 instead of 你 and he keeps calling it out like bro ur making it awkward #AND IM LIKE SORRY I CANT ACTUALLY WRITE IN THIS LANGUAGE IM REALLY DU M. BB #also he offered to take over the last part bc i was like hi its almost 9pm here and i literally cannot think anymore #like i am certain its a very easy last part my brain is just finished #i feel so bad bc i wanted to push this proj over the line #this company is so intense i am so baby i am so tired #hugging my cat and rubbing my gross face all over his gross body #me in vc trying to figure out how to say: it was broken earlier idk how it was fixed u saw it was broke tho right #but all that came out was: in the past it was….problematic… *20 yr silence* #before he awkwardly went: um its okay i dont think this is necessary also u have lint issues #and i was just like ya….i know 😭 #its ambiguous to some of my teammates if i just dont understand them or if im fking dumb #its probably both im ngl #the blank stare i have on my face is first from trying to comprehend what the actual words they are saying mean #and then to comprehend what technical concept they are trying to convey #using like 50% of the information i managed to parse out #also im used to literally spending 30-40% of the working day talking smack #now i try to crack and joke and everyone is like three this isnt the time #three we are all gonna be hear past 9pm working this isnt the time

[heartofalifer]

sometimes I lay at night thinking what exactly did daisy write in the description of alec hardy's tinder profile and what pictures did she use that made her think that could get women to swipe right on him. was it selfies? was it candid photos she took? was alec wearing that blue jumper on and reading a paper with his legs crossed in the photos? I need to know

#alec hardy #broadchurch #because if i saw alec hardy wearing The Blue Jumper #with glasses on and reading a paper #and that photo was a side profile of that #i would have swiped right IMMEDIATELY #funny tho #because then afterwards ill google him up #and karen white's article about him will definitely come up #and turn all potential suitors away #also im having a writer's block #i AM STUCK TRYING TO FINISH WRITING CHAPTER 9 of this fic im writing urghhhhhhhhhhhh #david tennant #look #david tennant is a very good looking man #but if i saw Alec Hardy in real life in a universe where i dont know how DT looks like #i would look at him and scowl #“dafuq u mean he's in charge” #man cant even trim his beard or iron out his suit #also that princeloww post about the tinder convo led me up to these thoughts so thanks for that i guess #alec hardy is tumblrs resident grumpy wet cat

[academiccockroach]

it's 1 AM and I have a very specific bone to pick with a very specific thing I consume, enjoy and endorse wholeheartedly

here's the thing about vampire bites. they are depicted as this little unhinged and nasty but mostly sexy thing right. our guy (gender neutral) gets bitten and it's like ah! it hurts but also it hurts good ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). and here im talking about like. proper vampire teeth, non of that twilight bullshit just two to four proper fangs nothing more nothing less

well clearly the person writing the sexy biting smut scene has never been bitten by a cat. I dont mean like 'ah no Scruffy bit me a little' i don't even mean 'oh no Sceuffy bit me a lot' i mean like a fully grown ass feral cat that has never been touched by human in its life and craves the taste of flesh biting thru skin muscle cartilage -even sometimes bone- whatever the fuck you got in your meat sack that tiny needle thin tooth is piercing right through it

and here's the thing. it doesn't hurt at first oh no. okay well it hurts but if doesn't hurt too much ya know what i mean. and it leaves a cute little mark nothing serious at all

but in a day that wound is gonna swell. and it's gunna. hurt like all fuck because it just directly injected about five gazillion bacteria directly into a neat little incubation pouch and then closed it right up. its gona swell its gonna ooze and throb and hurt and if that shits in your neck ur pretty much done for i mean an infection right next to the jugular is just easy mode for the bacteria

so unless your vampire boyfriend gargles with antiseptic beforehand you aint gotta worry about turning or bleeding out or developing a biting kink cus youre gonna be delirious from meningitis with a football sized phlegmone in your neck beggjng for the sweet sweet release of death thank you for coming to my ted talk please ensure your vampire boyfriend employs proper dental hygiene

#i also find the image of the morning after hilarious #no walk of shame but ambulance ride of shame to get the wound disinfected #and yea ive been bitten by a caf recently and reevaluated my stance on this issue #its been more than a week and my finger just stopped hurting #it legitimately looks like ive put it into a saw trap #i mean the cat had a right to bite me but man dod you have tk bite THROUGH the joint #i legitimately cried from pain four nights in a row there was no medication strong enough to stop the the trobbing #my finger was FULL of puss I mean f u l l #and I must add I got it properly cleaned right away antibiotics anti inflammatory drugs tbe whole package #i know what im doing alright but man i never want to experience thag again #one of the worst pains in my life and I've broken five bones and dislocated multiple joints #ive had thick ass meedles inserted directly into my knee no anaesthetic whatsoever and it don even come CLOSE #I HOPE THAT LITTLE SHIT IS HAPPY #roachrambles #vampires #tw biting

[anxiously-sidequesting]

To me personally malistaire is the funniest and most pathetic villain wizard101 has ever had AND I MEAN THAT SINCERELY!!! Between doomed children who have been manipulated, groomed, and isolated into becoming products of their environments, someone scorned who has been punished unfairly by having your biological heart torn out your chest and turning your children and all of reality against you to satiate their own ego, a nonhuman entity so powerful and so clueless they unintentionally threaten the lives of everyone around them, Malistaire FELL DOWN BRO. Like yeah you're bitchless now. You and me both. Get in line. Everyone in this room is bitchless. We are ALL living that ✨💅🏾💃🕺 Single Life™. You are a middle-aged man. Cope

#this post is lighthearted btw JELAJWODJTU i aint actually mad #but like...... malistaire as a villain is kinda mid though im sorry. IM SORRY ill take the L opinion if i have to #its one thing if he lost his wife to unfair systematic negligence or thru someone else's doings or smth but. no she just got sick bro 😐 #HWMSNFLEKSDIDOA EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I WILL GIVW A BAD OPINION AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM. i cant be right ALL the time /j #like if i dont focus on malistaire's motives and just his ACTIONS he seems super metal #but then he does ALLLLL of that heinous shit because his wife died. like thats absolutely very sad but damn get a grip #(fandom starts breaking in my windows and drags me out into the street) IM SORRY IM SORRY LOOK ITS JUST NOT MY CUP OF TEA #ive never been invested in those Mr. Freeze types of villains where a person they love dies due to normal circumstances- #and they go fucking BERSERK. they LOSE IT. they go like “well okay fuck the entire world i guess nothing matters” and then kill people #LIKE IF IT'S DONE IN A CERTAIN WAY I CAN BE INVESTED but more often than not to me? its just kind of funny #like “okay damn there was only ONE person keeping you from being a national criminal? okay” #and you know what? thats a mood actually. thats a mood #without my cat i probanly would have become the president by now #for some reason its a little diff for me if its like a child you lost and idk why #like if malistaire lost a kid instead of his wife id probably be more inclined to feel bad and thats terribly fucked up JSLSJSJSJ #you know what its also bias because in some shape or form i relate to all the other villains. morganthe and duncan especially #whereas in malitsaire's case i have never been married. which i mean doesnt stop me from tryna be more synpathetic i guess but im just not #ONCE AGAIN FEEL VERY BAD FOR HIM AND SULVIA. like losing someone to sickness or any reason really is a serious thing #but in terms of a fictional setting with fictional characters where one of them decides to commit genocide over it? 🧍 like okay boo u do u #i will gladly give up my mantle for the “most reasonable opinions” guy in the fandom foe this one. i deserve it #wizard101 #w101 #wiz101 #text posts #malistaire drake

[blepzebul]

is this a safe space … a lot of hazbin rewrites don’t scratch an itch in my brain bc they don’t expand upon the “surviving hollywood”-esque undertones of hazbin’s premise that made charlie so charming as a protagonist, in the pilot at least ;;

#txt #hazbin critical #this is VERY opinion-based so take it with a grain of salt #you could even argue it could play into how the known overlords/sins are industry-based #like .. if u’ve seen cats dont dance u might get what i mean right? #this notion that charlie’s obstacles are also other demons who aren’t as influential as her #but they’re ultimately the ones who make the world go ‘round #bc they’ve *presumably* been in this gig for far longer than she has #its honestly why i was still interested in the premise even if i didnt rlly connect w/ the chars #and i generally tolerated how charlie is the princess of hell and yet SHE is bossed around

[boxwinebaddie]

what is the CD pet? i remember it being mentioned, but is it a dog?

how very funny you ask, lovie! because...someone a while ago asked me about a cd pet and i said, something like of 'maybe, who knows?'

me. ;)

i know.

skdhslkds

and shortly, you all will too, my darlings! for the sake of surprise and spoilers, i was just keeping the identity of the cd pet in the shadows.

which, speaking of shadows, it is the very first time that the citizens of a now very flooded and fucked up blondie's apartment ( minus marj ) arrive in the foyer of the crimson dawn manwhoresion, which again is this MASSIVE very gloomy and ominous sick-torian mansion with lots of cool glass skull door handles, old creaky floors and creepy portraits on the wall -- art of the dearly, or not so dearly, departed...dep(art) if you will -- except the interior has new electrical running through it so that the boys can still make pizza bagels in the air fryer and play legendary smash tournaments on their uber lux, big bucks, emphasis on big 98" flat screen tv...8k, ofc. ;)

anyways, they make it inside with what little luggage/personal shit they could salvage out of the wreckage of their Literal falling apartment, regrettably like half of kyle's really cool clothes are missing...i wonder if someone has things he can borrow...but ANWAYS AGAIN! when they walk in, jersey kyle sets down curb's carrier and suzie on sort of side table and is like 'holy fuck, i do naught like the feel of this place at all. this shit feels like something out of a horror movie, like i swear to gahd if some shit attacks m--"

aND RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT SOMETHING BODY SLAMS KYLE. like this herculean mass of energy, this strong, dark force runs at him at light speed, and is all over him. kyle is freaking the fuck out like oh my god this is actually a horror movie i am going to die, he screaming very girlish screams smh and then right when he thinks this supernatural monster beast from hell is going to gut him, somewhere off to the side, out of sight, the most threatening, frightening, authoritative and booming voice commands...

"sparky, sientate."

...and who is it, ofc...

but raven of crimson freakin' dawn. <3

who rushes over -- also this is irrelevant but i think he is in this sick colorful emo boy sweater and some ripped skinny jeans, you know, whore couture winter addition, he can be modest, you guys! -- and at the sight of him, this very large dog is immediately placated and ravenstan drops the scary dog training voice and is like "helllooo, sweet boy, mwahmwahmwah. besito besito besiiiiitoooo~ <33 :*"

i love ravenstan so bad, he's litrally so cute and an emo disney prince.

so sparky is just licking stan's face and being so sweet and we realize that sparky did not attack jersey to be vicious he just literally upon first glance liked him so much he wanted to say hi ksadhlsakd. amazing. kyle, however, hates most animals and drool and is a cat person and is like wiping his face with a hankerchief like fml.

and after a second, ravenstan rememeber, oh fuck, Kyle!!! so he immediately looks very worried and is like "i am SO sorry, jersey. he is super sweet, he just gets a little excited, y'know? are you--are you hurt at all? </3 here, take my hand, i'll help you up." all wide eyed

and jersey kyle aka crush era jersey my favorite period of time, is just looking up at raven of crimson dawn like he is a beautiful fake blonde eyeliner wearing apple cinnamon scented angel of death and...do yo know how badly kyle wants to take his hand? literally SO BAD. gay! down horrendous!!! but you know, he is a cold unfeeling husk and he does not like raven of crimson dawn! no way! i'm not dropping my mask in front of all these people, i am a loaded gun, i'm a weapon.

so kyle lifts his hand up like he's gonna take raven's hand and then at the last second, flips him off, rolls his eyes and is like "i've got it, ayshole." to which stan is like visibly disappointed for a second before Switching and shrugging doing the raven voice like 'suit yourself. you know, i like a man that's independent and can take care of himself." ;)

smhhhhh stan stop FLIRTING WITH KYLE IN FRONT OF EVERYONE LITERALLY NOT JERSEY TRYING NOT TO BLUSH LIKE!!! FOULLL!!

so important side note is that sparky is wearing...a pink bandana, ofc. which ofc, also means that he came from big gay al's animal rescue where curb also came from. and...sigh...so this is a small continuity error because i had al pretend not to know who the three people who paid blondie's rent were, but really all he said was that they didn't leave their names and ravenstan's voice sounded like heaven, which doesn't imply he....Doesn't know who he is.

and idk, was perhaps just keeping a secret for him...because raven actually does a fuck ton of volunteer work over there! hot boy shit! he is ofc, dressed like busted ass stan, but alas still v beautiful indeed. i think as a toolshed reference maybe spark got struck or nearly struck by lightning, he also has all that energy haha. stan basically foster failed him and he is ravenstan's emotional support dog and cd house pet, we love you sparky. that also means...drum roll pleaaaasee...

ravenstan knows curb! which is why curb got extremely excited to see him because ravenstan used to take care of him when he was in the animal santuary and stuff. so he quite literally heard stan's voice and was like!!!! aaaa!!! i missed you!!!! so cute omg reunited.

but yeah, they talk about that for a little...small world you know even for a big celebrity...kyle has sort of cute down horrendous gay daydream-y thoughts about how often stan must have come and go unbeknownst to all of them

( which he thinks is impossible because raven of crimson dawn's outfits are so shiny and tiny and scandalous that he has no idea how he could walk down the street without being noticed...but then, he's never actually seen stan look Normal and also...yeah kyle i bet you would be able to spot ravenstan a mile away and not be able to look away you gay ass bitch Stand Up!!!! )

and how cute he probably looks feeding all the lil critters in the pink shirt and like introducing little kids to them...also whether or not he rolls his sleeves up and how good his arms look...GO TO JAAAAAAIL.

but yeah! sparky! <3333 in my unpublished first draft boards i actually made a little section just for sparky.

final note: curb and sparky do hate eachother. they have shelter beef.

enemies to lovers, anyone?

-uncle nina, instigator of drama

#i'm gonna proof read this later i am lazy #but basically curb really liks raven and sparky immdiately really likes kyle but kyle is such a hater he's like control ur beast #i do think ravenstan looks cute in his big sweater and the jeans putting down his nightmare before christmas mug petting his big scary dog #he is my hero he is very cute to me #also after ravenstan did the scary command voice as a joke kenny raised their hand & said Is Anyone Else Bricked Up Right Now #and literally everyone raised their hands including jimmy like he risked falling over...ravenstan do not be raising his voice ever #but that was how he was taught to train most animals like someones mean scary mexican mom and it totally works #anyways NOT KYLE NOT TAKING STANS BEAUTIFUL HELPFUL HAND HES SUCH A FUCKING HATER #he wanted to so bad he was staring at it w such wide eyes for a second like omg he was worried abt me thats so cute hes so pretty and nice #aND THEN WAS LIKE EWEWEW YOU DISGUST ME GET A GRIP YOU FUCKING IDIOT YOU ARE PATHETIC STAND UP #goddamnit kyle will u be vulnerable for one second like he actually was bc hes actually pretty scared of big dogs he was very shaken #a small rm plot line is stan helping kyle get over his fear of big dogs bc sparky is so nice and kyle is wincing #and petting him with two fingers and is like...oh god it licked me...and stans like that means he likes you! he has good taste #raven stop rizzing kyle holy shit he cant take it #stan working at the shelter is so cute he totally does roll his sleeves up and his tattoos and biceps do look good #and he puts his hair back in the pink big als rescue standana and totally talks to all the cats and is like excuse me miss blossom #that was very rude to loki :( i think you owe him an apology!!! #and she meows back and loki scowls and hes like...now loki there's no need for that descaro papi!! >:O lets try that again #loki meows softly back and stan scratches both them behind the ears and is like amazing see all better <333 #something abt ravenstan knowing the same cats that jerseykyle does and them both just not knowing despite being so close together #and probably just barely missing each other everytime...the beautiful waft of cinnamon or a stan laugh sometimes... #maybe he wasn't being so crazy after all #SPARKKYYYY

[skunkes]

this is just from personal experience but once again i think its soo weird how furry fandom is full of people who give skunks Big Pointy Wolf Ears + sometimes even wolf snouts/cat noses etc but ive never seen adjacent beasts, like stoats, weasels, ferrets, (pine) martens etc, be given the same treatment?

obviously the people who draw ferrets/stoats/etc correctly are not the same ppl drawing smunks like this (i hope). but why is it only skunks?? is it because the adjacent beasts were, i guess, less common in the past and are therefore handled with more nuance by ppl drawing em now?

i also cant think of any like media depiction with skunks having huge pointy wolf/cat ears?? so it must just be people seeing others drawing them that way ➡ doing the same? like a game of telephone instead of Looking at the beast... but where did it start???

or maybe i just keep running into ppl who are used to drawing only canids so all other species they try to draw look like that?? its so strange...again i personally havent seen any of the other listed beasts ever drawn like dis...like everyone knows those guys have rounded ears and shorter snouts....! its only skunks! why??

#talkys #never in my life have i seen any of these adjacent furs drawn as ''incorrectly'' as i see skunks being drawn so so often #like THE common depiction of a skunk fur is incorrect #which like. they dont HAVE to be right...smunker is not 100% correctly drawn #i never draw their nose accurately LOL #but you KNOW what i mean... #id NEVER see a ferret fur drawn with cat ears and wolf snout. (for example) #BUT ferret furs also less common and skunks are not as common but still a long time furry staple #same with the other beasts.... #i think these are all the reasons but i cant word it coherently i hope u understand. like i do know why but i cant grasp #why it still happens! you wouldnt draw any other adjacent animal like this! why skunks? why! #sorry you KNOW i just saw another wolf in skunks clothing just now LMAO

[lighthouseas]

crazy to me that gumball and penny are literally the embodiment of the "your beauty never ever scared me" tiktok trend. absolutely bonkers. anyways penball for the win

#gumball is a little asshole 12 y/o right NOW but u can't tell me that that boy wouldn't do EVERYTHING for penny when they get older #also i adore how penny just. Tolerates him #even throughout his assholery (i mean. she even encourages it sometimes) #they are SOULMATES my god. head in hands. thinking about the shell again no one talk 2 me. #maybe i will make a tawog sideblog. MAYBE. #tawog.txt #<- filter if you don't wanna see me being emotional over a blue cat #penny fitzgerald #gumball watterson #also idk their ship name so im assuming that's it ( #*? #tawog

[ilonacho]

it hit me what makes me the most miserable abt my work week is how it’s just school all over again. just hanging in there until the weekend. repeat. repeat. repeat

#5 outta 7 days im at work. 2 days of freedom #2 days to do chores n run errands n relax n sleep n draw n catch up w/ friends n go places #and if u gotta reschedule itll be weeks before ur available again #like for months now ive tried to get together w/ friends but our days off dont match n shit keeps coming up #not to mention im fucking tired! im exhausted! i want to sleep in and then draw the rest of the day! #i think the worst part is that back in school.. at least it didnt matter as much? because it all led to an end aka graduation? #like i didnt mind the wait for next weekend as much cuz it was temporary #like eventually ill graduate and then ill have freedom! (i thought? for some reason??) #but now its like.. the weeks are going by so fast this year is already almost over i turn 26 in 2 weeks #and this is.. the rest of my life? like youre kidding right? this cant be it? #i get off work n then i have to take care of the cats n chores n then eat dinner n then shower n then its late and i gotta sleep #before work the next day. i dont have time nor energy to rly do anything #and ill get that feeling of like. oh well at least it brings me closer to the next ‘weekend’ #but i dont wanna live weekend to weekend #i mean im thankful to have a job n coworkers i love like i truly hate it there sometimes but i also am happy and thankful for it #but yknow.. it shouldnt have to be like this #i worded this so much better in the shower but im tired of feeling like school part 2 like what the fuck man #ive had work every single day since we came back from our trip n i just dont have time/energy for anything #i need to open commissions back up but i havent even gotten around to starting one a friend asked for #not to mention this years christmas card ive barely got the sketch done for #and again. my favourite holiday. halloween is on tuesday and while we did plan halloweeny stuff it just has not felt like halloween #i havent had any ideas/energy/time for any halloweeny art #+chores n errands etc lmao we havent even been to the grocery store yet (calling us out here) #it just. suuuuucks aaaaaass man the world is so beautiful life is a gift i dont wanna spend it like this

[kelpiemomma]

Khan: (says something self-deprecating) Ingo: did you know that you are my friend and family, and that Akari and I love you as such? Khan: BYE???

Ingo knows exactly what he’s doing :3c

#pokemon legends arceus #pla #warden ingo #ingo #khan a. #ingo and akari decided to tackle khan's behavior head on and with love #self deprecation meets affection #khan 'my scars are pretty fucking ugly huh' #akari 'actually i think they're neat and badass!! they make you look strong and cool!!!' #khan '??!?!?? oh look??!! a ginkgo guild member to bully!!!' #its not even that he's lacking self esteem he just really fails to comprehend care and affection anymore #ingo 'i see you're heading out on your next adventure. take this care pack.' #khan 'awww u care about me?' #ingo 'yes' #khan (hisses like a cat that got wet and flees) #khan: what do you MEAN people like me? I DON'T EVEN LIKE ME??? #tough luck buddy you found yourself a family now #this is all the art effort i have in my right now i'm sorry

[flyingspicerack]

I WILL KILL THE ANON HATER imagine being so pathetic as to send mean things to a stranger on the internet... that person doesn't matter and neither does their opinion. Me and a bunch of others love your page because it's stuff that makes you happy and your drawings and writings are made with such love and excitement!! I love seeing you enjoy yourself!! I know it sucks but please don't let these fuckos get you down. Love you Aero, you being you and sharing your passions inspires me to be me every day ♥️♥️♥️

thank u toad ;w;

#sorry thank you #i really appreciate it i just ... ugh i thought i was doing everything right #but here someone with stupid opinons comes in to point out what im most self concious about #so it kinda rattled me #but you reaching out has made me feel a lot better... thank u #and to think that i inspire you is... uwehh like flattering but also embarassing #im trying so hard to enjoy myself but when others are... just mean cause they cant do the same? well i pity them... #but i dont pity them because they shouldn't be using MEEE as their target #bc when you hurt me #thats who ur hurting *i point up at that cat* #spice.ask

[rakiah]

Can I give you a heads-up that I'm about to beat your man boi dude up so if you wanna save him be faster than me manifesting my sona into TWST to strangle him for a sec 😭

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Reminds me a certain cat for a certain gala who never showed his ass after the 100th summon. So. Be strong. And he can defend himself. I don’t want to be kicked by those boots.

#twisted wonderland #answer #events can be so mean #also pretty unfair even if you hit the 100 #RIGHT LEONA HMMM? #bastard cat #so yeah #I feel u very much 😔

[night-dragon937]

gods listening to music of artists that i've gone and seen in concert/at raves and just like. reliving the euphoria of the moment when i was there at the live performance like. obviously sitting at my desk with my headphones is not the same as being at a rave or concert but i can kind of capture some of the memory and those good feels are just smth else

#blog post #tw ahead im gonna go on about some dark shit #kind of? idk #like so when i was younger and struggling #by which i mean when i was suicidal from ages 9-18 #one thing i tried when i was 15-18 was making a bucket list and essentially it was stuff i wanted to do before i died because saying #'im at least gonna live to do these things' was SO much easier than saying 'im gonna live the rest of my life' back then #and on that list was going to several concerts (all of which i've done now!!) and like tbh i had my doubts like is a concert good enough #to keep living for (yes) and like what happens after i see these bands in concert (i wait for them to tour again and see them again duh) #(and also see other bands) #and i wish i could go back in time to past us and be like. u were so right. seeing these groups/artists in concert (and the ones i like now #and hadn't heard of back then) is SOO worth it #im so glad i have been alive to go to all the concerts and the rave that i went to in the past year and a half it was so so good #and im so fuckin excited to go to more #there's at least two concerts im planning on going to this spring plus a rave im considering going to (its a three hour drive one way so #idk yet) plus our top favorite band for years is hinting at releasing new music which means a tour!! #im just gettin the feels because im remembering good memories and so fuckin excited to make more good memories #im so glad im alive and honestly that brings tears to my eyes that i can say that totally honestly now #like. i have a cat! i am reconnecting with family i didnt use to be close with! im working on cutting off toxic family! im working on #health issues which is very good. im out as queer and im so happy and proud of that. i have several hyperfixations i love consuming and #cosplaying. cosplaying!! i have so much fun making tiktoks and going to cons and putting everything together its so great!! im starting to #work on my big huge writing project with my coauthors for the first time in years and im soooo excited to revive that old hyperfixation and #share it!! i have an awesome partner who i care very much about and while i recently cut off some toxic friends i have plenty actual #friends that im so glad to have!! #im currently at a job that pays well and that i enjoy which is a win for me and i might possibly be in a position to go back to college #soon which means going into my preferred field which im SO stoked for!! and im actually really excited to go back to college. when we were #in person i had such a great experience and i cant wait to go back #ough

[dockaspbrak]

I am so sad;

#he was my best friend man..... #feeling like richie 2019 but instead of my gay boyfriend it was my son (cat with whom i had a strong attachment and we both had autism) #i mean in my agoraphobic years he was all i had #just me and him and he was terrified of anyone but me #man. like the;;; not to be too sad but the ending life attempts he detered me from....a powerful boy #i loved him sooooooo much #i gotta like.... jddjjfjf #regan dont read this #ok good dont go on #ok ok #i feel like i overcompensated with being accomodating so much the last 6 months i dont feel like myself at all #thats insane right? #but idk i know living with someone is famously very hard #but see even now #im tired of like. constantly making excuses for every thought i have!!! talking myself thru shit like #applying it to people around me and accomodating that even in my HEAD #i gotta deal with these damn bad habits. i gave myself #and FUCK i miss my boy!!!! #u guys dont even know...he was so soft and sweet #a kittens face even at age 15 with some kind of advanced as hell cancer that the vet didnt even understand #he was my baby i miss him so much #its like he makes me miss other things more too. like where i grew up #and how trees used to look in the wind #and feeling more comfortable in my body and with my own opinions #im so pathetic now. i used to be so fucking strongwilled and annoying #wtf man??? why does death touch everything #i hope i see him again some day #it hurts so much #but like im glad it does still i guess bc its like part of him isnstill here bc it hurta #haha;