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#and you know what? thats a mood actually. thats a mood
imustbenuts · 2 days
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im free from yakuza kiwami 2. fuck the writing in this one. this was a complete mess of pulling from the most popular generic east asian drama tropes at the time of 2006 and having it be handled by a super inexperienced writer at the helm.
i went from having no expectations, got somewhat surprised, only to end up downing alcohol and laughing hysterically before the credits rolled. so that should set the mood for how i feel about this one. thought vomit under the cut, a lot of info dump about culture incoming
yakuza kiwami 2 is pure heterosexual east asian romance bullshit.
im gonna just. describe as best as i can what i know and remember from the general media coming out from the 90s to the 2010s in around this part of the world before i just start explaining why i think this story is a mess.
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so. 2 parts i swear is responsible for this rubbish.
1) East Asian Beauty Standard
the general consensus for a beautiful feminine woman AT THE TIME in this sphere is the following
be willowy thin (fat = lazy and ugly)
have black hair that ISNT short (dyed = too much individuality, too much WESTERN INDIVIDUALISM, gasp how dare!)
fair skinned (bc dark = she works in the fields and is from a lower class)
young. if you heard of the term "Christmas Cake" in japan context, yeah. (ie women over age of 25 are undesirable)
be educated and refined, bc that indicates class and femininity (failing this means shes vulgar and gasp like a barbarian)
be submissive to her male peers in the sense that her authority cannot override his at least in public (for the sake of his face)
dresses feminine and not like a man (trousers and jeans are man-ish. traditional clothing, skirts and dresses are preferred. the further back the stronger this sentiment is.)
incidentally, theres a lot of classism tied to this EABS due to sinocentric culture influences. it has to do with the chinese court system and how korea and japan copied it and a lot of the culture wholesale but. anyway. thats like over 1000 years of history in there thats not really worth detouring to rn.
and also, the worth of a man is sometimes (not always) upheld by how classy and feminine this wife of his is. as of 2024 though, this line of thought is still around in the more conservative pockets. also, the education might not matter as much these days as how deep her and her parents' pockets and wealth are.
moving on.
2) media tropes
so. off the top of my head.
if you wanted a popular romance drama in this time period, the popular offerings no matter where you looked tended to offer the same flavors of tropes.
the woman always has dark hair, is fair skinned, thin and younger than her male love interest. ive never seen this broken or subverted in my time absorbing via osmosis the dramas playing on local tv growing up in the early 2000s.
everything else about her can be subverted though. sometimes she can wear fancy pants or have short hair to indicate her strong individualism. BUT, her personality no matter how strong it begins, no matter how her intro begins will 99% of the time encounter an effect where catching feelings turns her into a meek loyal woman to her love interest.
bc she cant override his authority in this culture context.
at worst, she becomes highly irrational and even hysterical in the dramas when bad things happen. this includes things like love triangle, or a fallout of family business, drama, plot or whatever. she would cry and sometimes even die.
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see: sawamura yumi. sayama kaoru.
meanwhile, the male love interest can be anything. ive seen middle aged guys to young good looking upcoming actors playing the lead, with looks varying from haggardly okay to young and handsome. it. really depends on the genre.
depending on what specific country it came from, the drama would have the male either grow, become manlier (by learning honor ig), become stupid in the name of love, but he rarely if ever actually dies. the woman effectively becomes yoshi for mario to lauch off on when they're crossing a chasm
the romance is forced. a lot of the BIG LOVE SPARK ie kissing happens in tense moments bc it builds drama, but in reality comes too fucking close to sexual assault (some of the old jackie chan movies does this iirc for slapstick even)
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see: sayama getting kissed right after handling her biological father's ashes less than 24 hours ago and admitting to kiryu that shes scared. this scene right fucking here.
bc in general, the scriptwriters for popular dramas tended to be guys themselves and tended to write more human dudes. and the women in the stories are reflective of the ideal societal expectation at the time: being a Refined Housewife.
so her character development is often headed in the direction of marriage and being a stay at home mom.
if it sounds a little like tradwife bullshit, it is.
Refined Housewife
(i have massive negative thoughts about this which i KNOW for a fact is a thing bc a lot of these societal culture femininity was impressed on me as a kid in a world where it was already getting increasingly impossible to have 1 spouse be a SAHP. and also i hated the whole thing about giving face to the patriarch of the house when i personally saw so much ego dick measuring from my uncles. anyway understand that this is both a bias an a lived experience, so proceed with that in mind)
there is a problem with the Refined Housewife expectation: education.
in general, education has been a good metric to judge how classy or smart one is in asia's largely on-the-surface meritocracy based culture. people will look at each other's school first and then judge them from there, and pretty hard too.
so everyone regardless of gender will be expected to study super hard. and bc having good test scores and going to good schools looks good for the family's face, parents will often pile on tuition to the child to get them a leg up in life.
bc also no good degree from good school means no future.
but then... the woman is expected to be a housewife. 🙃 meaning... the education, her accomplishments, are kinda... tossed away in this context. put a pin in this.
it wont matter how much she studied or accomplished, bc the expectation is that the woman would marry and obey her husband, and give him face/honor that way. the kids will come eventually bc having kids = being filial to ones parents in this context.
also uh. no, having adopted kids is not thought of as being filial. continuing the bloodline is.
and if you've been paying attention, then yes, ive been skirting around the backbone of sayama kaoru's writing foundations this entire time.
Her story has been butchered so clumsily i cant even...
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lets just. ugh.
she fits the EABS standard, her tropes are trying to subvert the expectations of a womanly woman in this context, she has IMPRESSIVE education and career achievements. she works in a male dominated field, and is keenly aware of sexism. she is strong, stronger than her male peers, at least we are told.
by 2006s standards, its still considered a fresh take with those alone in japan. sexism there is its own flavor of crap. (if you noticed ive not spoken about LGBTQ+ stuff at all, its bc how ridiculously BINARY the expectation is at that point in time. it still is today but less so)
however, the writing has this sense of trying to copy the popular tropes at the time while not fully understanding and dissecting them, and ends up butchering sayama's character before the romance even properly began.
i mean, for fucks sake even, sayama and kiryu has a whopping 14 year age gap. when im told these are supposed to be believable people living in japan, this is too big for me to just go 'oh ok!'. and remember the Christmas Cake thing? shes 25. (FUCKING--!!!! !!)
the problem here that i see is the writer trying to apply all of those while trying to play the tropes straight. trying to imitate. trying to make a statement but then finding out theres nothing within yourself to stand by what you want to say and backtracking.
we are told:
sayama is strong yet she goes down with 1 slap by random thugs and needing kiryu to come in and body them. because romance ig.
we are told shes a yakuza hunter but she doesnt scare a single one beyond her introductory scene.
she goes from defiant and bossing kiryu around to getting her actions overridden by kiryu and ryuji, both men, towards the end
her subtext is that shes not feminine and therefore conventionally undesirable, but then kiryu tells her shes actually feminine and therefore desired, as if its all that matters.
she becomes so stricken by grief and freaked out that she runs off solo to deal with ryuji in the most out of left pocket planning ive ever fucking seen.
and then yells as she takes out her police baton to take down the big yakuza dude, drawing attention and turning herself into a hostage.
i know the writing will fumble but i didnt expect it to fumble this bad.
for all the good the surface chemistry kiryu and sayama has, its being undermined by a fundamental failure to understand tropes and then using said tropes as a crutch so much that everything here has become a bloody mess.
this failure of over-relying on tropes without understanding them extends to yumi too. sawamura yumi was young and beautiful, and became the Refined Housewife to the Not-Male-MC and ends up regretting it, and gets killed for it.
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her defining trait is that she is beautiful in subtext. thats. thats what the tattoo is. in a world where the tattoo makeths the person, thats what she is and all that she is.
dear lord.
ive read up a bit more on sayama and you know what. good that she chooses her career over kiryu. the romance would have caused both of their characters to explode with the trajectory this was heading in. ffs sayama could have had her own game. she has so MUCH potential.
and also GOOD that the writer is forced to think of kiryu in the position of the Stay At Home Parent for haruka and the orphanage down the line!!! subverting the fucking traditional BS expectation! yes!!!!!
all i got was sayama and kiryu making out before the bomb went off in front of my alcohol and salad while they're like 'eh, haruka will forgive us for dying :')'
and i ran out of alcohol.
sexism? maybe. incompetence? definitely.
hhgrhgrhrghrghrgrhgr wow this got long. ugh. guhhhhhh.
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To me personally malistaire is the funniest and most pathetic villain wizard101 has ever had AND I MEAN THAT SINCERELY!!! Between doomed children who have been manipulated, groomed, and isolated into becoming products of their environments, someone scorned who has been punished unfairly by having your biological heart torn out your chest and turning your children and all of reality against you to satiate their own ego, a nonhuman entity so powerful and so clueless they unintentionally threaten the lives of everyone around them, Malistaire FELL DOWN BRO. Like yeah you're bitchless now. You and me both. Get in line. Everyone in this room is bitchless. We are ALL living that ✨💅🏾💃🕺 Single Life™. You are a middle-aged man. Cope
#this post is lighthearted btw JELAJWODJTU i aint actually mad#but like...... malistaire as a villain is kinda mid though im sorry. IM SORRY ill take the L opinion if i have to#its one thing if he lost his wife to unfair systematic negligence or thru someone else's doings or smth but. no she just got sick bro 😐#HWMSNFLEKSDIDOA EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I WILL GIVW A BAD OPINION AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM. i cant be right ALL the time /j#like if i dont focus on malistaire's motives and just his ACTIONS he seems super metal#but then he does ALLLLL of that heinous shit because his wife died. like thats absolutely very sad but damn get a grip#(fandom starts breaking in my windows and drags me out into the street) IM SORRY IM SORRY LOOK ITS JUST NOT MY CUP OF TEA#ive never been invested in those Mr. Freeze types of villains where a person they love dies due to normal circumstances-#and they go fucking BERSERK. they LOSE IT. they go like “well okay fuck the entire world i guess nothing matters” and then kill people#LIKE IF IT'S DONE IN A CERTAIN WAY I CAN BE INVESTED but more often than not to me? its just kind of funny#like “okay damn there was only ONE person keeping you from being a national criminal? okay”#and you know what? thats a mood actually. thats a mood#without my cat i probanly would have become the president by now#for some reason its a little diff for me if its like a child you lost and idk why#like if malistaire lost a kid instead of his wife id probably be more inclined to feel bad and thats terribly fucked up JSLSJSJSJ#you know what its also bias because in some shape or form i relate to all the other villains. morganthe and duncan especially#whereas in malitsaire's case i have never been married. which i mean doesnt stop me from tryna be more synpathetic i guess but im just not#ONCE AGAIN FEEL VERY BAD FOR HIM AND SULVIA. like losing someone to sickness or any reason really is a serious thing#but in terms of a fictional setting with fictional characters where one of them decides to commit genocide over it? 🧍 like okay boo u do u#i will gladly give up my mantle for the “most reasonable opinions” guy in the fandom foe this one. i deserve it#wizard101#w101#wiz101#text posts#malistaire drake
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Can I ask, since you mentioned agreeing 'even if under duress' - how did the Watchers convince Player Grian to join them in hunger au?
So take this with the specific grain of salt that ive never watched Evo directly (but have friends who have ((thank you wren)), so i know tidbits via osmosis from them), but my thought has always been that the riddles the Watchers gave the Evo Players were all tests used to measure cleverness and intelligence-- the whole point of them attempting to copy the mind of a Player into a Watcher larva in the first place was to try and avoid the insanely high infant mortality rate their typical juveniles go through, bc they dont understand their own limits enough to even know they have them yet. So they needed a Player they knew they could instruct and who would listen to them, and, well. Grian, for all he was rebellious and outright defiant of the Watchers, still solved their puzzles and only had to be punished once before he stopped trying to mess with them
What ive always pictured is after the dragon fight the two main elders of the Watcher colony finally revealed themselves to Grian properly-- i have this crystal clear image of the two of them hovering above and next to the central end island, looming over Grian, and like, these guys are big. HUGE. A good 5x bigger than the ender dragon itself, at LEAST. It would be hard not to feel insanely intimidated by that, honestly, especially when there are two of them side by side, blocking your entire view of the End from that direction.
Anyway picture that with the context of these two giant floating winged worms youve never seen before, who have demonstrated their powerful ability to manipulate code in a way you cant.... telling you that they have chosen you to become one of them. Thats an immense amount of pressure, both from flattery and fear, especially considering theyve punished you before for defying them. I like to think even then, Grian balked a bit, and while i dont have exact dialogue beats here, i know the Watchers continued putting that pressure on him (likely while leveraging his friendships too-- like ive always said, if Grian hadnt been chosen, BigB wouldve been, and i can absolutely see the Watchers offering to take him in Grian's stead) until he finally caved and accepted their "offer" of joining them.
Unfortunately, he didnt find out exactly what that entailed until it was far too late.
#shouting speaks#asks#hunger au#evo watchers#watcher!grian#grian#evo smp#tldr they pressured tf out of him to do it#through both flattery and also leveraging his own fear against him#he was a Player after all. they were likely bumping his mood post-dragon fight to make him more suggestible#the most painful thing abt this to me is that the Watchers still werent being deliberately malicious here like#with the way they viewed Players this was NORMAL to them#they just. didnt rlly consider them as much more than food/hosts for their young. in their eyes the Watcher that emerged was different#than the Player it had hatched from#even though it had Grian's mind memories personality and stats#every day i feel shrimp emotions abt this#the horror he went through..... and they never once thought of it as torture#they never once regarded Player!Grian as something that needed to know what was going to happen to him#bc it was normalized to them. yeah sure Watcher juveniles hatch from Player hosts thats NORMAL thats part of their life cycle!!!#the only new thing is this one would still retain the Player's mind#it was a fucked up science experiment basically and grian wasnt told ANYTHING before it actually happened to him#sobs and cries ohhh grian i fucked you up SO BAD huh#also huge shoutout to my friend wren for giving me a little context while i wrote this and confirming my ideas slotted in#rlly well with existing canon. character understander status continues to stay intact im winning#txt
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cycloplasm · 9 months
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it's never ever 'cringe' or 'annoying' to flesh out your oc(s). ever. regardless of format (text, comic and so on)
if someone ACTUALLY has a problem with such oc posts... Why do they follow a blog that post original content? There's plenty of fanart only artists and blogs out there. In other words, not your problem.
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boxwinebaddie · 1 month
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Hi Uncle Nina !!
I don't wanna clog your ask box with stupid shit but this is stupid shit but it was also my bday on the thirteenth so shjdjdjs
As a fellow Monster addict ( I got a flat of Monster for my bday and collect the cans I have 30 diff ones so far <3 ) I need to know what Stan's favourite is
And on the less stupid side of things I was also hoping to potentially hear more about Stan's trans journey/Kyle finding out Raven is trans
Also I'm sorry your job has been so stressful lately :(( I hope you have a good day 🧡
- Stan 🧡
hi orange heart stan! <3
it's so good to hear from you, baby.
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHSLAY, MY LOVE! i'm sorry i'm a little late, but you know me -- everything i do is fashionably late, darling. ;)
but also!!!!! call your wonderful, lovely ask message stupid shit again!!! see what happens!!! i'm gonna frown So WIDE, i'm gonna look so Upset. i'm going to hold you up to the sun!!! JUST WATCH!!!! >;/
my sweet stannie; you are a gift, a treasure. and your ask memes are a pleasure. i don't find them stupid in any shape or form, be nice. conversely, they are extremely special to me and it's why i put off writing this message for a little while because i wanted to respond to it thoughtfully, seeing as though it's your bday message.
which, *cracks knuckles* to get the ball roooollling.
i can absolutely tell you what monster energy is stan's favorite, but as a bday bonus, bc i wasn't sure which stan you wanted to know about, or if you wanted both: i'll give you both my style's fave monster flavs
and i was going to go into some ravenstan trans lore after that, but i feel like that info should go in it's own ask, yeah? i just don't want it to get cluttered. so if you feel so inclined, would you mind sending me a second anon where i can drop that info? thank you, baby! mwah
but now, w/o further ado...
please enjoy the most Refreshing part of your day <333
for context ( and actually because i got an anon once who wanted to know whether i drink energy drinks ), i don't really know that much about energy drinks/flavors because i don't really drink energy drinks.
i mean okay, i'm not really sure if it counts as an energy drink, but i will chug a guayaki yerba mate like it is the elixir of life. ( also i fully maintain that pep stan drinks the enlightenment flavor and ravenstan drinks the raspberry one -- crunchy eco kings ) my favorite one is the passion terrere one. it's like the only one that doesn't come in a can and only comes in a glass bottle...that ice cold passion terrere mate in the glass...it hits so different than the can...oh my god. so good.
and as far as monsters go, i pretty much only drink pipeline punch bc i'm a pretty pink princess and that's what hot girls drink <3 but other than that i drink black coffee because i am an exhausted teacher girlie, but that's purely for fuel. to be honest, i rarely drink energy drinks just for fun, i only have caffeine to stay upright.
which isn't a great idea...but...i am not a role model....
speaking of:
so i told riley this story the other day, bc i needed to get her brilliant genius girl insight on energy drink flavors because she is the sugar free energy queen ( riley's answer was kyle x ultra strawberry dreams and stan x ultra mango fiesta, which, everyone say thank u riley <3 )
-- also god if you are real, bring back the watermelon lime venom you discontinued, you sick fuck, it was riley's favorite, thank you for giving us lovely orange heart stan, and fuck you very much for making ME, bitch! come on down, king! you won't! why the fuck would you extend my coworkers vacation! fight me, ugly!!!! --
and i was telling her about how i am the chaotic kenny friend, i make really bad, chaotic decisions, have no self preservation, hype and gas up my extremely bad ideas and convince myself i'm big brain, wow.
and...oof. so like 2-3 years ago during finals week, i had a fuck ton of essays and projects due ( i was a very bad student btw which is funny bc i'm a teacher ) and no idea how i was gonna do them, so i had the Brilliant Idea...to buy three Random bang energy drinks...
AND SHOTGUN ALL OF THEM BACK TO BACK LIKE BEER CANS.
ohhhhhhhhhhhh my god, party girl nina. help. crying.
and yknow, i thought this was such a good idea! i was like wow i'm gonna be so awake, i am going to b invincible.
i....was not Invicible. i was...very, very sick. i was like almost catatonic and shaking on the floor of my dorm bathroom, lmao. i had to have my roomate take a picture of me on the floor and text all my teachers what happened, which, thank god they were all really nice and laughed but...i feel like that tells you everything you need to know about me...people who think i'm their hero...i am a fucking idiot.
but!! BUUUUTTT! just for You, baby. i deep dived a lot of forums and read a lot about the flavor profiles and think...i made a pretty accurate assertion of what my kid's energy drink preferences are <3
me: paris hilton pipeline punch bc i am bad as hell ;)
stan the man with the plan: okay, so i think that pep stan is definitely that ultra paradise monster energy. it just seems really crisp, clean, earthy. stan also doesn't really care for sweets or sugar, so it makes sense to me that he would be drinking a zero sugar monster ( kyle is disgusted ) idk the kiwi, lime, cucumber flavor profile just feels like pep stan. please tell me you can see the vision, help.
kyle pile: hmmm...so what i've concluded with my research is that kyle pile probably likes that pacific pipeline monster that seems to taste like fruit punch <3 it has to be the full sugar ones because of his blood sugar and stan does kind of scold kyle for drinking them bc he's not really supposed to and he gets really cracked out ahdslkshd like he's really cute but stan is like oh my god bro you gotta lay down but yeah i think that one or the orange dreamsicle one, which is hilarious because the only foods stmwtp canonically does not like are pickles and artifical orange flavoring...he really loves kp.
raven: soooooo i know that i said pep stan was the mango loco monster energy, BUT RAVENSTAN IS LITERALLY THE MANGO LOCO MONSTER ENERGY LIKE HELLO??? also i feel like he is like those mexican dads that put a little tajin in whatever they're eating and act like they've invented fire heeeeeelp ravenstan is so the dad that cuts u up fruit into little shapes and pus tajin on them and feeds u them when ur sad <333 luv u raven ;-; <3 but yeah i feel like he full on turns it into a raspado its so unserious sometimes theres a shot in there, it's usually the spicy tamarind smirnoff vodka,
...what can i say my man is a visionary and i see it
jersey: oooookaaaaay. so...sigh. for Obvious Reasons, pre and during rm, because of kyle's ed, he only drinks the sugar free monsters. for energy because he's exhausted ( my baby </3 ) but i also do think he thinks they taste good. i think he fucks with that ultra watermelon flavor that just tastes like the most beautiful, delectable, mouth watering liquid watermelon candy ever. i also think he could rock with the strawberry or the peach one sounds dank.
if the watermelon one isn't there it does stress him out, but he has a mental list of what one is next on the tier list, and acts accordingly. its kind of a nice change of pace but...his brain does not think that. however, when kyle is healing, weirdly enough, i think he ACTUALLY LIKES???? those coffee flavored ones??? which is Insane and everyone including tweek points and laughs at him
i hope...that suffices? you're totally welcome to offer me what you think is the right answer: you're the monster expert, after all. but this is what i feel in my heart! i think it feels accurate but, lmk! :')
and also...speaking of my job. UUUUUUGH. thank you baby. :((( i am actually criminally depressed because my fucking HOE-WORKER fucking extended his vacation ONE MORE WEEK! so i have to cover all his shifts for an extra week while he's on vacation. so that means i don't get to watch my testing accommodation kids who i miss very much, i still don't get his kinder reccess shift and literally??? spring break is next week like he couldn't WAIT???? holy fuck i'm Sad. :(
but i will be fine darling. but it's actually why i wanted to see if you could send me another anon so i can use that anon to talk about trans stan journey stuff? i just don't want it to get lost in this post and also, i'm not in great spirits rn and don't want to answer it until i can write something that's not flaming garbage.
but happy late birthday baby, i'm so glad you were born. <333
-uncle nina, monster shot gun queen
p.s. what is your favorite monster energy? :)
#BB IF YOU CALL YOUR MESSAGE STUPID ONE MORE TIME#I AM GOING TO PUT YOU IN SO MANY BLANKETS AND FEED YOU SO MANY SNACKS AND BRAID UR HAIR#KNOCK IT AWHFF!!!!!!#you are so loved and this was no stupid at all and i actually had a lot of fun reading all about all the monster flavors#i'm sorry if its not totally accurate i did my best#i'm sorry the green one is so much more pep stan#and the mango loco one is actually raven#like thats just the right answer#ravenstan drinking the mango loco monster w the tajin rim...like he's kind of a genius oh my god#him turning them into a cursed mixed drink is foul tho i just know his head hurts after that#i cant believe i had jersey likes the coffee ones that is so foul#but him drinking the no sugar ones and drinking the candy flavored ones bc he is like 7 years old#theyre so cute lkahdkshd also kyle pile also likes the cherry blade lemonade bang energy that feels right to me#BUT YEAH I HOPE THIS MADE YOU SMILE#TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK HAHA#also sorry i didnt give you the Serious answer in that post but ravens trans journey is really important to me#and i really want to honor that and not rush it or write it when i am in a bad mood...ill make it worth it for you my love#but uuuugh no im in such a bad mood like im actually so frustrated like this is just not fair to me#me n the older kids are starting to kind of be alright but it kind of ebbs and flows like its better somedays and worse others#but they are stuck with just me for another week so were managing tbh my coworker was dad and im mom basically#im more like stepmom and they dont really like me bc ur not my real mom but like at least im nice lmao#but yeah happy birthday baby hope you enjoyed this and i will get you the answers you seek very soon mWAAAAH#also not me shotgunning 3 bang energies and throwing up and having to have my friends email my professors#when i tell you im not a role model i mean that i am a joke i make such bad decisions#live fast die young bad girls do it well
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selenealwayscries · 2 years
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lifesteal fans rejoice! he's now a marketable plushie!
I made him as a base so you can make you own skin with him lol . both steve and alex versions under the cut
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steve (4 pixel arms) on the left and alex (3 pixel arms) on the right
go nuts o7
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dreamsy990 · 9 months
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hi im going to talk about kingdom hearts with no aim or major point
finally going through and playing the kingdom hearts series is such an experience for me because like. even though i barely played them these games were really part of my childhood.
i used to watch my sister play them all the time and just thought they looked so cool. i wasn't really a disney kid or anything, i didnt have any attachments to the characters. eventually, my sister got to the lion king world in kh2, and that being one of the first and only worlds i really recognized, i told her i wanted to play the game. so she set me up with kingdom hearts 2 and let me play the game on my own.
i know every game reviewer from 2006 hates the first few hours of kingdom hearts 2, but personally, i loved them. i pretty much instantly fell in love with roxas and his story. (i really relate to some parts of it to be honest). and i wasn't very good at video games, actually only recently did i start getting better, but this was one of the first games where i could understand the plot.
i played the entire opening. i got up to sora's introduction, and i was so fucking confused. i just wanted roxas back. i stuck around twilight town for as long as i could reasonably justify, i redid the skateboarding minigame over and over, i just walked around. i stalled until i couldnt justify it anymore and then i tried to continue. i got all the way to hollow bastion before i gave up.
i kept coming back to kingdom hearts 2 over the years. every once and a while i would try to continue it again, but i could never really get past the first hour or so with sora. all i wanted was to keep playing in twilight town with roxas. one time i even tried to pick up the first game but i just couldnt get into it.
then earlier this year, i was out with some friends and i saw the kingdom hearts 2 manga on the shelf, and i thought what the hell, why not read it. i read part of it, then i bought it, and i read up to the end of roxas' story and started crying. i kept reading until the end of the twilight town story. a few days later i booted up the game again and replayed roxas' story and started crying. and then i just decided to play the rest of the series. now im playing through birth by sleep.
anyways kh2 is pretty good. but as much as i love sora now, roxas will still always mean more to me.
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todayisafridaynight · 11 months
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grabbing the ichi plush by the neck and death gripping it like 'good things are to come its all going to be ok good things are to come' like its a lucky amulet
#snap chats#i didnt even pre order the ichi plush but spiritually i did. good luck charm.#anyway rant time look away from here. Im At My Limit <- i say this every week#I DONT EVEN KNOW WHATS WRONG <- lying. my moms home#i just feel terrible again. i feel so awful i gave myself a headache from being upset#do you know how upset you have to be to give yourself a headache just sitting and thinking#that happened when i was taking a spanish test once but i think i was just so stupid my brain actually started to hurt trying to think#i also remember being sad as hell that day tho so....... maybe it was both#everyday it feels like im sad thats so fucked up and theres nothing i can do about it#ALSO IT'S RAINING AGAIN rain never promises anything good unless you're a plant#im working but i should have this done in. idk a few hours#and then its the weekend right.... there's no limitations for sadness though brother doesn't run on a schedule#unless we're talking about seasonal depression but we know what i mean#ew im supposed to go to that con tomorrow i dont even know if i want to go anymore#i just don't want to do anything anymore ig is the vibe#idk i have a journal to whine bout all this in ╮(╯-╰)╭ squeezing ichi plush is a mood tho so im still posting#maybe if i play a lil y7 ill remember theres good things to wake up for..#also i gave myself another headache OWOWOWOW STOP when will it end#wait let me be sad again because my dad said we'd hang out today or tomorrow#but i just know that's not happening and now im even more sad WEHHH no one loves me etc etc die#sometimes you just need a melodramatic teenager moment i think we're all due that right like once a month#ok i have to stop my head really hurts ☠️☠️☠️
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skinnyphobicbutch · 5 months
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I think I need a sensory deprivation tank. And also I'm pretty sure I should be sober when I'm by myself
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get-more-bald · 4 months
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the thing is that I'm constantly in a fandom mood to distract myself from everything. but when I fall out of that mood I just think I'm worthless for not having a personality beyond chronically online idiot.
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note-boom · 2 years
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Say what you will about Bungo Stray Dogs but the fact is that it has inspired a good number of an entire generation to pick up 1800s to 1900s great literature from Japan, North America, and Europe and i think that's very cool of it really
#and if not to actually read to books then to make them aware of their existence#and if you're like me to spiral on a tangent to see what other cool books not as well-teached countries have#honestly you guys the little ive managed to read among the bsd authors has been fascinating#the postwar mentality and the struggles of those who didnt have religion to fall back on as a center of morality and meaning#thats some GOOD stuff to dig into#of course you'll find that anywhere but each literary period has its own vibe#usually that vibe is oversimplified tbh...esp considering each period even questioned their own themes and moods and the liie#*like#im hoping asagiri also delves into south american and African literature as well as other parts of asia/middle east...#as they have pretty cool things as well...and also a really different postwar perspective to look at it from#mainly we're sort of seeing lit from what we could consider winners? of war (oversimplification i know)#which is amazing and all because of the schools of thought that pop up...#but it would be neat to see the schools of thought that pop up from the literary greats of the countries that were victimized in the war#esp because the victim/victor distinction is never as clear cut as it looks#but im rambling again oops....#this is actually a literature appreciation post disguised as a bsd appreciation post heh...#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd musings#i havent mentioned australian lit....forgive me...i actually dont know if ive read any classic authors from there#though the modern authors from australia ive read are very good#spitting nonsense#rambling in the tags sorry#edit: or maybe dont go into other country lits cause....well it depends on how its handled really...#it would be cool but at the same time.....
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l-cereta · 8 months
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in a bad mood for multiple unrelated reasons :thumbsup:
#dooooooo i vent in the tags#yk what why shouldnt i#ok so. for one my executives have been dysfunctioning since monday and i think rn is the event horizon of 'oh my god if u dont work now'#and you know what ive been doing instead of working? watching a 24hr stream of armored core 6#so thats like. whatever#its the whole too depressed to do anything so you kinda vegetate which lowers ur energy even further and worsens your mood#but then a friend wanted to get my advice on like. relationship troubles hes having#and i just . was not able to connect at all. and it's like man sometimes im not even sure if i have emotions lmao#like i pride myself on Being In A Better Place Than I Was In Highschool#(like. im not considering jumping out the window every other morning)#but like. sometimes it feels like i just dont like#like other people have these rich experiences and deep loves and all this stuff and im never gonna get it#it'd be nice to be loved or be in a relationship but really like#my biggest fear is just. im in a relationship and something bad happens to my partner#and i realize i dont care#idk theres like a lot swirling in my brain#i just want to be like...#i think writing this out has actually made it worse lmao#god forbid if someones reading this please dont reach out to me abt it i do not want to talk abt it#no matter how much other people say they care abt me it never seems real anyways so like cool#god i was doing so well before going back to college and im stupid enough to actually fucking like school#i just like.#whatever#like being alive really hurts right now#i cant really put a bow on that
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prawniscuous · 1 year
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I'm like clearly addicted to men based on this blog right? but irl I have a very femme woman girlfriend so idk what's up. bi 4 bi real. we get each other ig. oh yknow what? its bc the men on here are not real. they are in my head and so I'm genuinely attracted to it.. damn. not enough queer men in my life clearly bc I've never been genuinely attracted to a guy irl agh. wtf. I have no boy best friend
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Context: me and Esther (@mixed-kester) were discussing about our yanderes from Ansy's Pen Pal event on @throwaway-yandere (gonna fix the tag with it soon oops)
Anyways I think Esther doesn't want to be with Dorian but I am perfectly fine with not having Wanderer yet hahahaha God help me if he finds out—
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semercury · 1 year
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Screaming along to songs in my car can unfortunately only do so much
#stuff sarah says#the world is so scary and im so scared like i dont think you get it#i am frozen with so much fear at the thought of everything and how unbearably complicated life has become#and everything is micro and idk how else to put it? just. microlables microtransactions micromanaging#i hate it all so much#and theres so many boxes? and they keep getting smaller and i just? maybe i dont want people to put me in a box#maybe i dont want to check a box maybe i dont want to round up my transaction maybe i dont want#microplastics. thats another one. theres fucking microplastics. in my teabags.#but maybe i want people to stop looking at me and assuming they know me bc i barely know me#i would like to just exist. i hate taxes. i hate wanting to throw up when thinking about talking to people about things#i hate hate hate worrying about every word that comes out of my mouth#i want people to stop using therapy lingo in daily conversations and also everyone needs to stop fucking yelling#i havent been taking my thyroid medicine and im so cold and i wonder if thats affecting my mood too#anyway what do you think happens when we die? like i know what a lot of people think happens but what actually happens? you know?#is any of it...? like? you know?#im going to start crying ha ha ha#i watched some sad episodes of a show. also i maybe started my period#i never fully know anymore when it starts. my body is fucked lmao#why am i typing all of this? i dont think anyone should actually care about any of this#idk i just want things to be simple again
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AM I GETTING VAGUED NOW
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