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jahiera · 10 months

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see the thing about Astarion to me is I don't actually think he has a clue who he actually is beneath all of the everything he's got going on. he's got impulses, he's got drive, a will to live, he's got desires and amusements and cravings, but an actual selfhood?? no. there's a blue error screen where the person of him should be, the person -- whoever that was, I'm personally of the mind he likely wasn't good then either, but we'll see where the story takes us -- before Cazador. the man in front of us today is this mishmash of interior delight at freedom and sunlight but also capable of true unapologetic cruelty and willingness to be ugly in a multitude of ways. so he follows the impulse. he follows what intrigues and amuses, and nothing will take that freedom from him again. and he reflects back onto others the violence that was done unto him. a lack of power kept him down? now he wants to accumulate power, so it can never be turned on him again. but he also misses the sun while he's underground. he's mean and desperate and ruthless and it's interesting because he's unapologetic about it, he's unflinching about it. he's vindictive and mean and desperately floundering around throwing stuff at a wall to see what sticks in terms of personhood because who is he now. 200 years of horrific servitude and now he's just out and about and he's in the mud.

and he can be horrible. and yet when you take the routes of prying open the faaairly shallow veneer he has of smug and snark and snappiness, he'll give you pieces of the raw and the desperate -- "I want to know what the world sees when it looks at me. what you see." is a line you only get if you're earnest with him. any other path in the dialogue will have him continue the shallow persona you've come to know. and in all of that I think nothing is "this is real, this is an act," set in stone because I just don't think he even knows, I don't think he has a CLUE what's his and what's the protective measures and what's the real delight and what's the cruel mockery of his surroundings and what he's willing to give vs what he needs to hide vs what he lets slip out on accident. the inconsistencies in his own ideas and what he says and what he does. I think most everything about him is in a weird place of deeply uncertain. is it a lie? is it a glimmer of truth? for me, I like to interpret him in this weird menagerie of half-truths and shallow lies and omissions, because we've only known him a short while and maybe also he doesn't even know the answer yet. who is he? fuck if HE knows. anyways. smash.

#this is NOT coherent or well put together I'm just chewing on him right now like a dog toy in my brain #I do think it's so vital to not miss the point that he's shallowly horrible in so many ways #like. objectively.#not that I don't love the 'I can fix him' but imagining him soft diminishes the character for me #It feels VITAL to him that he's gnarly in so many respects. and yet floundering and insecure in so many others #self-preservation at all costs but what are you preserving babyboy! you have no clue only that you must protect yourself #he approves of and finds amusement in minor cruelties in a way that feels so .... soooo ....#I don't know. like if he can turn it on someone else that means /he/ is finally beyond the reach of someone doing it to him #because as soon as it's done to him he goes OFF THE RAILS #call him a slave and he shows a startling aggression that is fairly rare (he doesn't often yell -- merely sly and slink and snarks and digs #it's just. HIM.#I'm putting him in the microwave for around 4 minutes to see what comes out.#astarion #bg3 meta

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tswwwit · 1 month

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i have a counter argument to the 'only one person can boop bill' thing, mabel. she's the type of person to slap stickers on people, she would definitely be the type to also boop others occasionally and bill would be no exception. she probably doesn't do it to annoy bill like dipper would, but maybe as a form of a friendly gesture, kind of like those people who will lightly punch friends in the arm when they hang out.

You know what? Good point. Mabel would get away with more than most, as a fun-loving lady! Bill understands those impulses, and being a touchy person! He indulges in similar ones himself.

Though when Bill's not in the mood to be playful and gets booped anyway? The 'sister-in-law' status grants her considerable grace.

#answers #Though in addition to that - Mabel's general chaos and level of Fun Times is something Bill genuinely likes #Catch these two having one too many margaritas and slinging arms over each other's shoulders while singing too loud and off key #She'd have some leeway even without the brother situation #But Mabel gets a pass on things she normally wouldn't purely on the merit of 'this would piss off the spouse'#The thing about Bill is he's genuinely fun to party with - right up until he decides you're the pinata #Even now there are times when she thinks she's doing something 'cute' and Bill was NOT in the mood but just has to grin and bear it #Instead of breaking fingers one by one #Dipper is singular in his ability to get away with Pretty Much Everything #It's love yest but it's also communication and personality I'm afraid #If Bill DID call Dipper out on doing something Too Far he'd get an embarrassed and apologetic husband. With kisses of sorry.#Though in minor circumstances: he starts arguing with him #Turns out that bickering is a better way to deescalate with Bill than most other tactics and Dipper's a pro #Now Bill's gotta think semi-rationally to Win The Argument instead of acting on impulse.#And in the process of debate he not only: learns where his husband's coming from but has time to cool off #Congratulations Dipper! Your Nerdy Logic brain and ability to Rise to a Challenge prevent Bill from going immediately nuclear #Plus showing off that big sexy intellect of yours doesn't hurt #Whereas I see Mabel pushing one of Bill's few boundaries and then deflecting. She ain't great at conflict #Brushing it off and laughing; Jeez it was just for fun!! Lighten up already!#Exactly what Bill says when HE'S being a dick to someone!#Which is why he'd react Very Badly to that excuse #Ha ha! Fun! Of course Bill loves fun! You know what HE thinks is FUN #Barbecue. Flash-fried pork ribs. Where's that stupid pig #Dipper has to disarm that particular bomb and I highly doubt it's a pleasant process

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blood-orange-juice · 4 months

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Also omg omg please let Tartaglia get disillusioned with Capitano in Natlan

#childe #tartaglia #capitano #fatui #harbingers #can you imagine #he doesn't have that many people he adores #I want to see what happens when someone turns out not good enough #also for that he'll has to be in natlan #but he does show up at least once per expansion #so why not

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starheirxero · 4 months

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I’m personally hoping that they don’t kill him this time and actually TRY to give him some form of redemption. But that’s probably asking for too much.

NO YEAH SAME HERE 😭 I think it would be a huge win for all the Eclipse enjoyers if the main cast actually decided to take the time to care and accommodate for him because I would absolutely kill to see Eclipse go down the messy, pain-filled path of "to be loved is to be changed" instead of just being murdered on the spot 💔

#asks #anon #there's honestly a /few/ different ways this could all turn out too #like.#the IDEAL outcome is that eclipse is left unharmed and is given a choice to redeem himself and he accepts it #but it's also possible he's given the choice and /doesn't/ take it #it's possible he /does/ take it but his own paranoia causes him to conclude that the redemption is just a guise to make him an easier target #it's possible he's not offered redemption at all and is killed like an animal to the slaughterhouse #it's possible he's not killed but not given a redemption either and is just thrown out into the middle of nowhere (in hopes he'll rot away)#there's too many ways the show could go rn and unfortunately i have a feeling none of them involve redemption so despite my hopefullness-#-i am also just like. longing sigh. oh well HDJSHXN 😭#sun and moon show #the sun and moon show #tsams #sams #sams eclipse

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angelsdean · 2 days

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ruthlessly deleting old 2021/2022 posts (not by me) from my dean studies tag like *click* un-incorporating that from my beliefs system! also the way SO many posts have me like ok uh-huh good aaand then say one completely wrong thing that loses me. it's so many posts.

#it's usually when they randomly drop some line of fanon. like saying dean has never admitted to being wrong in his life #or never expressed an emotion or been vulnerable or doesn't Talk About Feelings or is super duper RepressedTM #like i'm sorry. have you watched the show. oh and have you taken off the sammy POV goggles first?#bc this guy is always crying and being vulnerable and talking about his feelings. he is self-aware.#he may not always want to talk to sam abt things! but he sure does talk about things with other people #do i need to reblog the compilation posts AGAIN?#(also re: his sexualiy? AWARE. sorry i saw him flirt and be flustered by so many men. he knows how he feels.)#and then 'first time ever admitting to being wrong' this one came from a post abt dean's prayer in the trap #like i'm sorry but first of all. dean apologizes more than any other character on the show. there are hard numbers on this.#people have tracked this on spreadsheets. i think ilarual is one of them.#and often he is apologizing for things that aren't even his fault! but he still feels responsible for bc he's been made to feel that way #his whole life!!#other characters *cough samandcas *cough* apologizing Less doesn't mean they've Done less things wrong #it just means they're not owning up to it and brushing it under the rug. something both do frequently.#anyways. aside from apologies. dean also has no problem admitting he's wrong y'know when he's actually wrong #which is less often than you'd think bc he has pretty good instincts and intuition and often suspects things which turn out to be Right #but anyways. another thing abt the trap prayer is. i don't think cas Needed to be forgiven #i think dean was justified in feeling angry w cas over the circumstances leading to the Death of His Mother! totally normal grief response!#i think cas also understands dean to be someone who needs time to process and deal with his feelings (he says as much to jack)#however. despite me not think dean Needs to forgive cas. the thing is. with dean when it comes to cas the forgiveness is implicit #when he says /of course i forgive you/ and in the cut like /of course i wanted you to stay/ like. yes he was mad and dealing with grief #but also. yes cas was already forgiven even back then. he just needed Time to work through the feelings #anyways i think dean says he 'forgives' cas bc it's what CAS needed to hear to stop feeling guilty and dean gives him that closure #but i also think cas was already forgiven even in dean's anger. he wants him there always. i'd rather have you. we can fix this. etc etc #a lot of tags for a non-rebloggable post ajksdfs maybe i'll make these into a real post sometime #vic.txt #dean and feelings #so i can find this all again later

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feroluce · 4 days

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Belobog was my fave main quest but a lot of it is so. Contradictory. It's like they had multiple groups doing different shit and none of them checked in with each other for consistency. And you see this so much in Gepard's profile.

So in the main quest, they made him unfailingly, unquestionably loyal to Cocolia. Gepard's character arc is him learning to question authority etc etc. And this isn't even a bad thing; that's a story worth telling! It makes good conflict between him and Serval! And I love that we got Gepard as a boss battle and I get to see him all the time in SU!

But then you look at his character stories and it's like. The complete opposite.

According to his profile, Gepard has already HAD this awakening, long before the Astral Express, and he'd already decided Cocolia sucks. Even outside of his stories, there's a pretty damning readable between him and Pela.

He even disobeyed direct orders right in front of her- he has been disobeying orders for a while now!

So I've decided I'm marrying the two different sides of this into a 1.5k fic-ish thingy, because I think there's some fun potential there with Gepard not trusting Cocolia, but still having to pretend to be a good obedient little soldier.

Anyway. I love to think of it as like. Gepard knows Cocolia has sunk into her apathy. He can see it in her eyes every time he looks at her. She doesn't care. Not about him, not about Pela, not about all his soldiers on the frontlines giving their lives to protect the citizens. And that's... It makes him bristle a bit, but ok. Gepard can deal with this. Even if Cocolia no longer cares, as long as she does her job then it's fine. Having compassion behind an action doesn't matter as much as the action itself. If Cocolia's heart is no longer swayed, then he'll just have to care twice as hard to pick up the slack. He considers it part of his duty as a captain of the guard anyway. It's fine. Gepard can deal with it.

And then, Cocolia starts coming down to the restricted zone. Issuing direct orders.

And Gepard realizes he is in way over his head.

Because Cocolia orders him to stay back and issue commands from the ramparts, away from all his comrades, away from where he can protect them.

Gepard had thought nothing could be as bad as watching a fellow guard die right next to him. But the first time he watches someone struck by a killing blow, so far away, it hurts. Every defensive scar across his arms itches, his fingers curl in want of a weapon, the cold cannot numb his hands enough as they desperately ache for his shield. It hurts.

Gepard tries to find any reason to stay. Because surely... He knows Cocolia has lost her love for her people, but surely... She wouldn't...

One day, Cocolia orders for their gunners to advance 20 yards. There are no survivors. She almost looks like she smiles.

Gepard doesn't sleep that night.

Pela brings him the report at the end of the first month; and then the month after that, and the month after that. A significant uptick in losses, and all of it started on that first day Cocolia started overriding his authority and issuing her own orders. The ends of Gepard's pens have all been nearly chewed off. Pela outright calls Cocolia an idiot, and Gepard corrects her. Cocolia isn't an idiot. Gepard had known her through Serval, knew her through all her college years and then some, and he knows how intelligent she is. It's not that she's stupid, and it's not that she's inexperienced, it's nothing of the sort.

Cocolia knows exactly what she's doing.

She must, there's no way she could make such a horrible mess of things so badly by accident. And Pela, quick as a whip, sharp as a tack, always too smart for her own good, catches onto the meaning behind Gepard's correction without any further prompting. The tent goes deathly quiet, nothing but the wind howling outside.

"...She's trying to kill us," Pela whispers, her voice swiftly suffocated by the silence.

Gepard swallows. He can't bring himself to correct her this time. There is nothing he could say that he would actually mean.

His gaze drops, back down to his desk and the reports on it. The names aren't listed, just the numbers, but Gepard knows them, knew them, and there must be something wrong, something he's missing, because why, why would she-? What could this possibly accomplish-?

“Gepard! Focus!” Something snaps right under his nose, and Gepard startles, eyes instantly honing in on Pela's irritated face as she leans over his desk. She holds his gaze for a moment before she huffs and begins to pace, wedges a knuckle between her teeth and bites like Gepard hasn't seen her do since cadet school.

Pela angrily strides from one end of his tent to the other, words hissed between her grit teeth. “What are we going to do?” In the dim lighting, Gepard can just barely see the damp spot of blood weeping under her gloves. “We need a plan.”

“A plan?”

“Wh- Yes, a plan! Unless you want more people to die!” Pela rounds on him then, all the wrath of a blizzard, winds roaring and snow sharp enough to cut.

“We don't even know-”

“What does it matter?! She killed-!!” Pela cuts off with a garbled noise when Gepard leaps up from his desk, hastily shoves his hand over her mouth. The prosthetic, not the flesh one, because he knows better than to assume Pela won't seize the opportunity to leave teeth marks in his skin.

“You're right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry; you're right. But you need to keep quiet.” Pela quirks an eyebrow at him and Gepard can read the question in her face. “Because we both saw what she did to Serval,” he hisses.

It's amazing the snow plains haven't thawed out yet, the amount of heat Pela can put behind a glare. The mere mention of Serval, and the smoking ruins Cocolia had made of her life and career, have her bristling up like a riled cat. The sudden hot breath she takes fans fog across his metal skin, and Gepard wisely keeps it in place until Pela finally sighs and reaches up, taps her fingertips against the back of his hand.

The second she's free, Pela bats him away and then her knuckle is right back between her teeth again, Gepard leaning back against his desk with his arms crossed to watch her resume her pacing. “If we spread the word, she'll have us discharged and make sure we can't even touch the frontlines,” Pela's voice seethes like an open sore. Gepard nods but keeps his silence. He knows better than to get in her way.

“And if you and I are both out of the picture, Belobog is fucked.” A little harsher than how he would have put it, but there's no denying that they're both important to the city's survival. Pela has the restricted zone running as efficiently as ever, and Gepard had become the youngest captain on record for a reason. “We need to keep this tight under wraps, at least for now… It can't leak to anyone higher up the chain.” Another nod. “Serval might know other discontents…” Another n-

Gepard's head snaps up. “No.”

“No what?”

“No. We're not involving Serval in this.”

Somehow, even the same tone that leaves entire squadrons shaking in their boots has never worked on her. “You're not deciding that for her, Gepard.”

Pela hadn't seen the worst of it, though, back when his sister had just been banned from the Architects. Serval's pride hadn't allowed it. Pela wasn't the one to find her passed out bottle still in hand, hadn't been the one to wash the sick out of her hair or carry her to bed.

Serval still has trouble thinking clearly when it comes to Cocolia, still can't quite bring herself to be objective. And Gepard maybe doesn't want her to be purely objective- but he would worry a lot less if she thought twice before she acted more often.

“At least let me be the one to bring it up to her.”

“Whatever, fine,” Pela gestures affirmatively at him as she paces past, and Gepard sighs. Good, at least that's one thing he can help.

From there, it's a lot of hemming and hawing and frustration. Cocolia has them under her boot, and Gepard and Pela both know it. Even with the way she's been cracking down on freedoms lately, Cocolia is still, overall, liked by the people. It's unlikely anyone would believe them. They don't even have solid proof, because most people don't know Cocolia as well as they do and won't see the clues in the same light.

The Fragmentum has been ramping up in recent years, too. Everyone is struggling just to survive as is, they can't afford a fight on two fronts. Gepard is a damn good captain, one of the best for that matter. But they're at a massive disadvantage, his experience is narrowed to fighting a defensive battle against monsters, that's all he's ever done. That's all anyone there has ever done. He has no way of finding first-hand knowledge for taking the offensive against a human opponent, and if he goes at this blind, there's no way he'll get everyone out unscathed. He's going to lose people. He's going to lose a lot of people.

He'd never thought before that Cocolia would have it in her to have someone killed. And with this new knowledge, he has no guarantee she won't go after Serval or Lynx if she decides to retaliate.

Gepard has to remind himself to breathe when he realizes this.

Pela writes down every name the two of them can come up with. Lists and lists of names and groups and anyone they can think of who might be an ally in all of this. They memorize every bit of it, make their plans of who to talk to and when. Gepard watches the sparks reflect off Pela's glasses as they burn the evidence together.

Pela finally leaves, far too late to make it home, but says she wants to stay in the restricted zone anyway to investigate. Gepard watches her make her way in the direction of Dunn's tent, watches her back until she's out of his sight and squashes down the urge to follow and keep an eye on her. His tent feels empty.

In the morning, Gepard is up before the wake up bells. He drags himself out of bed, leads his soldiers through their morning training. The same people gravitate to each other everyday. Friend groups and training partners. There's an ongoing rivalry between a few squadrons that everyone bets on. Some of them have lockets around their necks, keepsakes, mementos. Some of them wear wedding rings.

Gepard is suddenly, painfully aware of something acidic clawing at the inside of his throat, of a heavy weight low in his chest that blooms, takes up room until it threatens to spread his ribs. His mouth tastes of bile and blood.

He rearranges the schedules. Puts himself down for every open patrol into the Fragmentum, makes sure he'll be on the frontlines every single time Cocolia visits.

He only hopes that it's enough.

#honkai star rail #gepard landau #hsr gepard #pelageya sergeyevna #hsr pela #hsr #smacking Gepard out of Hoyo's hands and running off with him skzjmdkd #tentatively Figuring Out how to write these two... It feels a little tricky starting out with extreme circumstances like this haha #I feel like a lot of people see Gepard as naive for trusting Cocolia so much but I don't think that's quite it. He's not stupid.#He's not even naive.#He's someone who has been groomed since birth by his own parents to be an obedient Guard and nothing outside of that role.#You are not immune to propaganda etc etc #But even then there are a lot of things like all the included screenshots where he. Doesn't actually seem to like/trust Cocolia much.#I think Serval was a really good influence on him as a kid. He might have turned out much much worse without her.#and even with how I've written him here. I don't think he's normally slow to act or one to stand aside and make other people lead.#it's just that this specifically was a pretty extreme circumstance for him.#and also he openly states elsewhere that Pela is overbearing and he tries not to interfere with her work whenever possible nskzhdjdjd #Pela too. I don't know that I normally see her as someone with a bad temper or quick to anger.#But again; extreme circumstances haha #Bc like. they both would have seen what happened to Serval when she stood up to Cocolia. they know damn well what's going to happen to them.#if they fuck this up and get caught then they're done.#and I mean. What are they supposed to do? they're two people against the highest authority of the entire nation.#regardless I do love Gepard agonizing over this in the future after Bronya takes over and everything has settled down #did he do the right thing? did he make the right choice? if he went vigilante how many soldiers would have died without his protection?#would Belobog have fallen completely? how many people died because he DIDN'T run away? was it actually enough?#I love characters forced between a rock and a hard place. no good options. pick your poison.#no winning- only weighing what you can and cannot bear to lose.#make your choice and decide whether you want to rot or to burn.

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autisticcassandracain · 1 year

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I dunno man I feel like most statements along the lines of ‘Batman isn’t REALLY x, he’s y’ don’t hold much water because usually, there’s a pretty good chance a number of writers over the years have written him as x, you just didn’t like it or think it doesn’t count for some reason.

For example ‘Batman isn’t REALLY a good parent, he’s actually a bad parent’, when Batman has been written as a good parent by a number of writers, and has, in addition, been written as realizing that he’s screwed up with his children and resolved to fix it by even more. At the same time, stating ‘Batman isn’t REALLY a bad parent, he’s actually a good parent’ is also incorrect, because Batman has been written as a bad parent by a number of writers, either intentionally or not; in addition, the pattern presented by the tug-of-war between writers who believe he should be a good parent and writers who don’t has, over the years, created an unintentional pattern that strongly resembles that of an abusive relationship. So, stating he is a good parent is inaccurate and dismisses a bunch of his canon writing, but stating he is a bad parent also dismisses a bunch of his canon writing and the intentions of the authors that wrote him.

The secret here is realizing that Batman has had so many writers over the years that it’s practically impossible to find a universal truth about him beyond the basic premise and maybe very, very basic characterization keystones. Writers with different beliefs about both the character and the world at large have written him in accordance to their worldview, and sometimes that worldview will align with yours, and sometimes it won’t.

Like, at this point, Batman is more an idea than he is a character. He is the bare-knuckled fight against injustice, but what ‘injustice’ is depends heavily on your worldview, as does what ‘bare-knuckled’ and ‘fight’ mean. Batman has been interpreted in dozens of different ways over the years, and singling out a few of those as the True Batman is largely arbitrary and dependent on your personal taste and belief in what the character should be. The only ‘objective’ measurement you could apply here are the old Golden Age comics, and I think most fans can agree that measuring modern Batman comics by how faithful they are to the Golden Age comics is, more often than not, a little ridiculous.

For the record, I do think that arguing about what Batman should be matters; if right-wing assholes use the character as a mouthpiece for their worldview we can and should critique that, but not because it’s ‘OOC’, but because the worldview espoused by those right-wing assholes is harmful and shitty. Batman should be a good parent, not because it’s ‘OOC’ for him to be a bad parent, but because having your paragon of justice be a child abuser is pretty shitty. Etc.

I don’t really have anywhere specific to go with this, I just think it’s a little strange when people try to view Batman as a character with a clear-cut characterization, rather than a concept that many people have approached in different ways over the years. Can that concept be mishandled? Sure. But it’s usually mishandled for reasons a bit more substantial than ‘a previous writer wrote it differently’.

#part of me feels like it's a cop-out to say #'batman isn't really a character so much as a concept and he can rarely ever be truly ooc'#'because he's been written by so many different people that practically any interpretation of him has canon back-up'#but at the same time. when you have a decades long history as one of the most well known pop culture icons of our time #i do think you kinda stop being a character and start being more of a concept #this post was inspired by a lot of stuff but the thing on my mind rn is conversations about why batman doesn't kill #and a lot of people being like 'saying batman doesn't kill because he thinks it'd turn him into an unstoppable killing monster is wrong!'#which. isn't true. that's a take many writers have on his character.#you may not like you or think it's stupid or whatever but. it's an interpretation of the no-kill rule with canon backing #and for that matter. even 'batman doesn't kill' is kind of up in the air with many writers taking a more relaxed stance on that #or even outright doing away with it. batman was also written before the concept of him not killing was added to his character #like. with a character with a history as long an profilic as batman. shit's complicated i feel #bruce wayne #my posts #infodumping

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cluescorner · 9 days

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A Batman who kills people is a bad Batman. Except for Terry because he is my special boy. Terry can drown a man it's ok. He can literally shatter a woman it's fine.

#batman beyond #batman #terry mcginnis #I am doing my yearly rewatch to stave off a total collapse of the flesh vessel and wow #Terry kills so many fucking people in Season 1 #even the people who he turns out to not have actually killed like...a reasonable person would think they were dead #there's no fucking way that Terry didn't shatter Inque thinking she would die. he killed the Terrific Trio in Heroes like yeah they #were dying anyways but that's like saying 'oh yeah I stabbed a terminally ill person but that's not murder bc they were dying'#he 100% killed/intended to kill at least like 5 people in the pilot ALONE #and Bruce just...doesn't say shit. he's like 'welp that's Terry I guess. he doesn't follow the same code as me'#On one hand that is a fascinating way to show how Bruce has become even more jaded and borderline apathetic to the evils of #the world (as also shown with his inaction towards Powers and general retreat from everything). On the other...what the hell #I want a Batman Beyond remake for so many reasons and one of them is because I feel like a more traditional plot structure #would further make this part of Terry's version of Batman really interesting as a drama driver

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stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage · 6 months

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I'm back on my bullshit thinking about the Hawke siblings again and how much I love a "both twins live" AU... but y'know what I love just a little bit more? An AU where all three Hawke siblings are alive, but one of the twins still get attacked by the ogre in Lothering and is presumed dead when they actually survived.

I like to think that since the narrative in DA2 is framed as a story Varric's telling Cassandra, we can play around with the fact that he's an unreliable narrator. Varric wasn't there in Lothering. He only knows what Hawke told him. It makes for a better story if Leandra, Hawke, and the surviving twin get to huddle around the dead twin and say their goodbyes... especially if they didn't actually get to do that. I mean, a lot of us already have that train of thought when it comes to Leandra's death and Hawke getting some closure through her final words telling them how proud she is. Whose to say Varric didn't do that for the lost twin, as well?

All that to ask what if the ogre attack happened, but the group was so overwhelmed by darkspawn they had to flee further and couldn't check the twin who "died?" Flemeth still showed up, but it was too late to go back and say goodbye.... so Hawke made a deal with the Witch of the Wilds and they all pushed forward to Kirkwall.

Imagine Bethany, left behind with broken bones and bleeding in the sand, fading in and out of consciousness as the remaining darkspawn surround her. She knows how to heal, how to fight back, but she's weakened. Her staff lays out of reach. Air shakes in her lungs. She tries to call for help, but only wheezes come out. Where's her mother? Her siblings? Did the ogre get them, too?

At this point, we all know what happens to the women darkspawn take, and Bethany could've met that fate; she doesn't have the strength to fight back as they drag her away. But before they can bring her underground, she's saved by another group of survivors. Perhaps they're more soldiers fleeing Ostagar, or townsfolk who recognize her from Lothering. They do what they can to treat her wounds but she needs a healer, so they bring her with them to seek refuge in Redcliffe... except they eventually realize she's an apostate. Well, she doesn't seem dangerous, but they still contact the templars.

Bethany wakes in a warm but unfamiliar bed with skilled healers tending to her. Templars hover by the doorway. First Enchanter Irving greets her, gentle in explaining she's safe inside of Kinloch Hold and that she's going to survive. When Bethany asks about her family, he gives her a sympathetic smile and says they only found her.

Bethany, who never took to embracing her magic the way her older sibling did and always felt like it burdened her family... has lost that very family. Could they survive the ogre and darkspawn? Or did the ogre tear them apart, too? How did she survive... but not them? Did the Maker really have such a sense of humor? How else would she end up in the Circle, a place her family went to great lengths to keep her safe from?

She doesn't want to think about it. She hopes they made it to Kirkwall, but the prickle of dread that crawls up her spine knows how unlikely it is. Bethany finds comfort in speaking with the mages who rotate in to heal and bring her food. Some feel trapped by their magic just as she does, but others remind her of her older sibling in the way they embrace their magic, a gift from the Maker. The younger apprentices who aid the mages ask her questions about what lies beyond the walls. The templars mostly keep their distance, but one is friendlier than others. A man with curly blonde hair and a sympathetic view of the mages bothers to speak to her more than his fellows do.

She's still in recovery when Uldred and his blood mages attack the tower, but she survives. Bethany heals, even as she's haunted by nightmares of the ogre wrapping its tainted hand around her body to crush her, flinging her aside to lay among the limp bodies of her family... haunted by the horrors the blood mages unleashed on the tower. She aids in restoring the tower the best she can, and accepts her new home, her new life. When she's well enough, she lights a candle for each of them; her father, mother, her eldest sibling, her twin... she even lights a candle for the family mabari, and prays to the Maker to give them her love as they stand at His side.

The Blight ends. Years pass. Bethany settles into her new life, becoming a fine example for the younger apprentices she mentors. She witnesses wrong doings against her fellow mages, loses friends to their harrowings or tranquility. She accepts what she is, even if bitterly. The Chantry's teachings about magic scar more than enlighten; she sees it in some of her fellow mages, feels it in herself. Secret meetings. Whispers of escape, of freedom. More escape attempts. Harsher restrictions.

Around this time, back in Kirkwall, Knight-Captain Cullen stands where he always does in the Gallows courtyard. He notices Hawke appear with some of their companions. It hurts to think back to Kinloch Hold, but something occurs to him: he knew of another Hawke who was brought to the Circle while he served there. They only spoke once before... well, before. He wonders if there's any relation. When Hawke wanders over to speak to him, as they always do, Cullen brings it up.

Hawke pales. A beat of silence. Cullen recognizes heartbreak; he sees it unfold in their eyes and swell in their throat as they realize that all this time, their baby sister was alive.

Then the day comes where new whispers float among the mages in the Circle. A visit by a Grey Warden. Most, including Bethany, assume he's here to recruit... until Irving comes to her. He says this warden's requested, though more like insisted, he see her now. But then Irving smiles; the warden in question said his name is Warden Carver. He received an urgent letter that his sister is here, alive, and he demands to know if that's true.

Bethany nearly collapses when she sees him.

While the reunion can't last; she can't leave the Circle and he has his calling; the twins embrace, sobbing out apologies and exclamations that they thought the other was gone. Carver tells her of Kirkwall, the expedition that led him to the Grey Wardens, and their older sibling's status as Champion. With a gentleness she never knew her brother to have, he tells her what happened to their mother, and more tears flow freely. Their sibling learned about her from a templar, though Carver grumbles that the bastard could've said something sooner.

There's the Maker's humor again.

...Now flip the script: imagine Carver being left behind instead.

For as strong and passionate as he is, that ogre still picks him up and slams him to the ground. Bones crack. Black splotches flood his vision, agony exploding across his skin. His sword flies from his hand. The soulless bastard tosses Carver aside like he's nothing, and he's left to lay there. His mother's cries muffle in his ear as though he's stuck underwater, sinking slowly into the dark.

It figured, honestly... that he'd survive Ostagar while his fellow soldiers were cut down all around him, that he and his eldest sibling would flee the field when all hope was lost... that he'd make it home to get his family out of Lothering... only to die protecting his mother. And why not? He is a protector. A warrior. It's a honor to die saving those he loved... so why didn't it give him peace?

Carver eventually wakes in the night among the bodies of fallen darkspawn. Everything aches painfully hot and his thoughts reject coherency. He knows his family is gone; they're dead, or they've fled... either way, he's alone; left behind. Something's broken inside of him, but he has just enough will to pull himself up at the sound of approaching footsteps. A group of survivors find him- funny enough, the same group who aided Bethany in an alternate timeline. Imagine that.

That's how Carver ended up in Redcliffe's Chantry with an overworked healer tending to him. He doesn't even flinch when the mage works their magic on him, knowing all too well the sensation of healing magic seeping into his skin, mending the flesh. He tries not to think of Bethany, or what might've happened to her.

The Chantry's overwhelmed with townspeople hiding from a danger outside that he can only assume is darkspawn... except it's not. He wonders how hard he hit his head when he hears the undead have come from the castle to slaughter what they can of the town every night. But then he sees it with his own eyes when one breaks in, taken down by a templar, and never before has he ever felt so useless.

Then the last two remaining Grey Wardens arrive. They're crucial in the final fight against the undead, swearing to enter the castle to stop the attacks at the source. While Carver couldn't participate in the final fight, something he complained loudly about, he did what he could in his condition to help like sharpening swords and handing out supplies. Mostly to keep his sanity and quite his thoughts throughout his recovery.

When the time came, he took up his sword again in the name of all those he lost.

An archdemon was said to be on the horizon, and the Grey Wardens needed everyone they could get to fight. Carver fights in the battle of Denerim where the Hero of Fereldan defeated the archdemon. He cuts his way through every darkspawn he sees. Ostagar flashes red behind his eyes. Lothering clutches at his heart. So much anger and sorrow built up inside him, flooding out in his tears and screams. Blood everywhere. Fire and smoke.

Then it's over.

In the aftermath of the Blight, like so many others, Carver has no home to return to. No family. He thinks to go back to Lothering to help rebuild, only to hear the lands were too tainted. These tainted creatures took everything from him... That's what eventually brings him to Vigil's Keep, standing before the Hero of Fereldan themself, asking to be made a Grey Warden. He already dedicated nearly two years of his life to killing darkspawn, and he had nothing else. Even when faced with the Joining, holding the chalice of darkspawn blood and being told to drink, he didn't flinch.

Life as a Grey Warden isn't as simple as he assumed it would be, but Carver finds purpose in his calling. Over the years, he grows to view his fellow wardens as family. He travels all over Thedas, venturing down into the Deep Roads to help clear out hoards of the darkspawn. But then comes the day he finds himself in Kirkwall, and it doesn't take long before he hears the name Hawke on the lips of the townspeople. His eldest sibling was not only alive, but they're quite popular among the people. But what about Mother? Bethany? He doesn't have to snoop too far to learn templars took Bethany away to the Gallows, and that Leandra Hawke was the final victim in a string of murders committed by a blood mage.

Carver finds himself standing outside the estate, glaring at the door. Furious. Heartbroken. Bitter. He wants to scream. This entire time, they lived. He's torn between wanting to reunite with his older sibling again, to get the truth from them, and wanting to barge into the estate, demanding answers to how they could let the Circle take Bethany... after what Carver sacrificed, how could they let Mother die like that? Was it all pointless in the end?

He leaves without knocking. He can't bring himself to see them. Not that it mattered. Before he could leave Kirkwall, the tensions with the qunari finally overflowed, and chaos fell upon the city. He's forced face to face with his older sibling again, but he wasn't prepared to watch the recognition slowly bloom on their face, or for all his anger to turn to mush. Carver's the first to speak.

"Somehow, I knew it would be you."

.............So, yeah. I really like this idea.

#da2 #dragon age 2 #bethany hawke #carver hawke #long post #there are so many routes you can take with this too like hawke finds out bethany's alive in fereldan's circle #and they gather all their companions like 'y'all we're doing a heist' 'great what are we stealing?' 'my sister'#'...isn't your sister dead?' 'APPARENTLY NOT'#or carver and anders could know each other from the wardens and one day anders tells hawke that they remind him of another warden he knew #and hawke is like '.............that little shit survived and he didn't tell me?? i'm telling mother'#OR both bethany and carver end up as wardens and happen to run into each other like '????? I thought you were dead?????'#and tbh bethany doesn't have to end up in the circle or carver with the wardens. that's just the paths i explored #maybe they're found by the warden and alistair who have wynne fix them up and they join the dao party #hell this could be backstory for an inquisitor carver or inquisitor bethany in dai #also yes this post is my way of saying that i love this idea but i'll probably never turn it into a fic so let me gush about it this way

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bylertruther · 2 years

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"will shouldn't use a gun in season five because his father probably taught him how to use one and that could be a bad reminder for him" have you considered that will using what was very likely a Bad experience to save his life in what is undoubtedly an even worse experience could be a good thing? have you considered that him using a skill he was forced to learn to save not only himself but (as is likely more important and meaningful to him) the lives of others could give him a sense of usefulness and safety knowing that he isn't defenseless and can stand his and others' ground if need be? especially considering that's a skill that we've only seen hopper and nancy possess, making it that much more valuable and himself more helpful to the group? after everything in s1 and s2, he's probably felt guilty for having endangered them and dozens of other people multiple times, i don't think it'd be out there for him to feel "happy" that he can finally return the favor and protect them for once (especially after having complained about being babied and treated like a doll).

"will doesn't have and shouldn't have powers because that makes him different and he doesn't want to be different" not only are you wrong lol <3 but how have you not noticed that will's entire thing since the very beginning is that he is different and he knows it and while he does get his heart broken over the fact that this means he faces constant unfairness in life, he still refuses to be any other way? will doesn't conform nor does he ever try to even when others try to force or shame him to. he gets frustrated and upset at being treated differently, yes, but he stays true to himself. to battle that feeling he sometimes gets that tells him he's a mistake, a feeling he gets not from his own otherness but from living in a world that Makes it an otherness and thus isolates him for it, he seeks out that which he loves and enjoys and throws himself wholeheartedly at it. will lives his truth and is willing to suffer the consequences for it. he refuses to live in darkness and let it take a hold of him. he holds on to hope and all that makes him feel better for being different. he holds on to art, to dnd, to video games, to his family and his friends, and everything that brings him joy and reminds him that it's okay to be different. in s1 joyce defends will ("he's missing is what he is") and jonathan tells him he shouldn't like things that other people (namely their homophobic dad) try to force him to like, that he should like what he genuinely likes. in s2 jonathan gives will the freak speech and tells him that no one normal ever accomplished anything and mentions bowie. in s3, he doesn't get a speech, (though joyce does tell him that when he falls in love he won't find it gross [avoiding the word girlfriend and leaving it neutral]) but he does face backlash from someone that IS trying to conform and IS shaming will for not letting go of "childish" things aka his interests, what's important to him, and what he wants. does will back down or shy away in shame? no. instead, he lets mike sit in his shame for having said something that hurtful, and he says "yeah. i guess i did. i really did." clearly this is a conversation about what makes will different aka his sexuality bc he goes and destroys castle byers (the safe place he and his brother built once their homophobic dad left which is a place will can be himself unapologetically) with what is likely a bat that lonnie gave him when trying to get him into baseball. he calls himself stupid and donates his dnd books, but i don't see this as an act of conformity (he tells mike as much, suggesting he'll just use his books + if he was ashamed he wouldn't have painted the party as their dnd characters and given it to him of all people lol). he felt stupid because he thought they'd always be crazy together, that they were of the same mind and heart still, and that they had the same brand of "otherness" if you catch my drift. then in s4 we get jonathan's tender "you're my brother and there is nothing absolutely nothing that will ever change that" which is the most direct anyone has ever been about that which makes will different. and he doesn't shy away from it! he doesn't deny it, because we can see from his confession and how he breaks down that he's desperately been wanting and needing to hear that. he accepts that love and allows himself to be held and seen by someone else, as he has every other time. because will doesn't hate being different, he just hates that he has to live in a world where that's seen as wrong and thus makes him feel like he doesn't belong because of it. but he doesn't change himself. he doesn't feel ashamed of it. he doesn't see it as a flaw in himself or others and he never has. will is different and he knows it and he wouldn't have it any other way.

will's story since the beginning has been about being different and going through awful things, and managing to not only find the light in it but also make it out stronger because of it all. it's always been about using what makes him different as a good thing and as something he uses to save himself and others.

will being good with a gun bought him time with whatever kidnapped him. will knowing how to run and hide kept him alive in the upside down. will acted as a spy while possessed and managed not only to save hopper but also tell them how to finish this. will's experiences and senses helped them figure out what was happening in season three. will's love and loyalty inspires mike and manages to bring him to a better place even if just for a moment in the van, and again he's the one that knows vecna's current state, aaaand had he been in hawkins at the time it likely would've gone a lot better because as dustin said "we need will".

taking something awful and turning it into a good thing and a source of strength is a wonderful trope. it's inspiring and empowering not only for the character but for those that could use that hope and reminder that there's always a silver lining, that life isn't all darkness and shadows and hurt. not only that, but it's something that they've literally always done for will since the very beginning. he is the prime character for that. his entire message has always been that it's okay to be different and that you can find strength and peace in that; that the things that make you different aren't a detriment, they're precisely what make you strong. like... i'm sorry, but have you not been paying attention at all whatsoever this entire time or... :/

#some of u heard 'sometimes it makes you feel like a mistake' and just forgot every other season ever it seems like #but idk maybe IM the outlier here lmao #characters like mike steve and eleven i can see the conformity argument for #BUT WILL?!?!?!?#will who has always drawn and listened to his music and wanted to hang out with his friends and play dnd and who #gets made fun of for so many things even by those that mean the world to him but has never ONCE tried to change #anything about who he is over that..... THAT'S who you think thinks being different is a bad thing!?!?!#will who has never lied about being a loner or what he likes or what he wants in life or has dressed like other people want him to #will who specifically has received multiple It's Okay To Be Different speeches and came out of them believing them is the character #that you think hates being different? will who loves mike's nerdy self and thinks the absolute world of him and TELLS HIM AS MUCH AND #CONFESSES HIS GAY LOVE TO DESPITE THE SUMMER OF HOMOPHOBIA AND THE AIRPORT FIASCO AND THAT DREW A #FUCKING HEART ON HIS SHIELD UNABASHEDLY AND CONFESSED IN FRONT OF TWO OTHER PEOPLE TOO ON TOP OF THAT #IN THE EIGHTIES!!!!!!! TO MIKE!!!! WHO COULDNT TOUCH HIM AND HAS A CONSERVATIVE FAMILY AND DIDNT TALK TO HIM FOR A YEAR #IS WHO YOU THINK HATES BEING DIFFERENT . HELLO #literally everything that he goes through is turned into something 'good' because that's the POINT!!!!#HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE NORMAL!!! HE IS NOT THE CHARACTER U SHOULD BE MAKING THOSE ARGUMENTS FOR LMAO #jus say u don't want him to have powers bro don't be lying on my blorbito's name like that 😭😭😭😭😭#anyway. crazed frenzy is over im normal now <3 #u kno how the long and all too passionate bordering on Is This Bitch Okay mobile posts go #back to being offline now byeeeee 🏃‍♀️

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floralovebot · 1 year

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yknow i think a really fundamental misunderstanding current dc writers have with garth is that he genuinely wasn't a child soldier like dick or wally. sure he definitely comes from that era and there Are undoubtedly aspects of his character arc and relationship with arthur that are similar to the classic mentor/mentee relationship, but their core relationship didn't start with that. arthur originally only brought garth along because they were just besties. arthur was living it up homeless style with this random orphan he found and they got into some hijinks together. then shit happened, he becomes King, but he's not going to abandon garth so he continues to bring him along.

part of garth growing up was him having to take things more seriously and learn to handle hero shit. like. he was really just randomly thrust into that world because arthur Became a big hero, not because arthur intentionally took on a protégé.

so when i see dc writing rebirth garth or even yj garth as this Cool Kid who was taken under arthur's wing and trained to become a Cool Hero, it's just,,, it's a Huge misunderstanding of garth himself but especially their relationship. his daddy issues are amplified because he always saw arthur as this cool older man who took him in as a son, not as a student. unlike a character like dick who has issues with bruce because bruce himself treats him as both a son and student, garth really became the student in response to arthur's duties, after they already had an established relationship. and even then, garth was never meant to be arthur's protégé in the way the other kid sidekicks were.

like. garth became arthur's sidekick because he wanted to be there. he wanted to be with His Dad and help him on these important missions. he didn't want to be alone anymore, and if that meant risking his life for arthur then fucking whatever, he'll do it. while arthur did take on the role of mentor and garth was very much his sidekick, garth was never the Child Soldier or the Protégé like the other sidekicks. like i'd say that's actually a huge part of his character arc. current dc writers will Never be able to capture garth in the right light if they continue to paint him as the same kind of sidekick the other titans were.

#sorry im in a very garth mood i will be exclusively talking about garth for like the next week at least #ajhladg #anyway #like im sorry but you can't turn the aquafam into the batfam you just can't #they have a fundamentally different relationship #like that was also a huge aspect of garth's relationship with the other titans #because they thought he was a coward and not cut out for the hero life #and that's because he literally Was Not trained for this! arthur took him in and it Just Kinda Happened #his training really consisted of him following arthur and arthur teaching him shit in the moment #and later on arthur does get more serious about it but again very big difference from the other titans #like literally garth has more of the classic mentor/mentee relationship with atlan than with arthur #garth of shayeris #a huge part of garth's character arc is him feeling like he doesn't deserve to be a hero because he Wasn't trained like the others #he didn't have as many skills didn't have the same confidence etcetc #the other titans were intentionally taken in to be a protégé or became one very Very early on in their life #garth was just going along for the ride man #like i think a really important aspect of his relationship with arthur is that garth never really saw him as A Mentor #he saw him as a dad and role model who occasionally taught him how to do cool shit #arthur was the one who pushed that mentor/mentee relationship and it blew him up in his face because that Wasn't them

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