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#tts funny faces
yuri-alexseygaybitch · 10 months
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Genuinely dystopic going on YouTube and immediately getting a thousand "ads" from dark money funded astroturfed right-wing hate outlets which are literally just straight up hate speech and you can't do one single fucking thing about it
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guccigarantine · 6 months
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the mongrel cat came home holding half a head
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kennimu · 4 months
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I got bored and decided to mix my biggest hyper fixations together and created this
They're very much inspired by Young Justice '98. I was stuck between who in varigo would be Robin but then I realized that Hugo would never be a Super and that settled that. Also I feel like Hugo's Robin would be what Lonnie's Robin could've been.
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rhmis-user-2020 · 10 months
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I used to meme this angry face of alchemy boi and it would forever be stuck on my brain.
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ashmp3 · 6 months
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in 2021 gawd 22yo teo. But i was always a truther! LMFAO also i don’t talk to this person anymore but she was always a visionary too 🧘🏼‍♀️
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ssamja-trash · 1 year
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both eunhyuk and kyuhyun said we don't have to get all the photocards (thus buy a fuckton of albums) to show how much we love them, and just one is enough. my biases are anti-capitalist kings 😌💅
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swordbreakerz · 2 years
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i made this and then got so into worldbuilding that i forgot to post it, anyway @aglennco ty for the super fun template i went way overboard as is my wont, i imagine TAIs drone looks like a manta ray
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myysaints · 9 months
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Hi there! I have this silly idea where yuki is y/n (established - actress,singer etc) biggest fan and when lando and y/n officially confirmed their relationship, yuki on his quest to make sure that max will treat y/n right. Lando (borderline amused and annoyed) still try to prove himself to yuki bcs y/n is very fond of him (and provide great entertainment for her). I know this quite ridiculous and would understand if you declined it :)
°˖ ⊹ ꒰ LN4 ꒱ TREAT HER RIGHT─ LANDO NORRIS
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LANDO NORRIS x f!singer!reader
genre — fluff
notes — thank you so much for the request! it was not at all ridiculous, i absolutely love this dynamic between lando and yuki !!! ik your request mentioned max, not sure if that was a typo? hopefully i got it right by going with lando :> hope u enjoy this one !!! xx (edit: LOL just realised i called u anon when your user is there TT so sorry bout that!!!)
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landonorris
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Liked by yourusername, yukitsunoda0511, danielricciardo, and 7,118,249 others
🏷  yourusername
landonorris   the sweetest melody i've ever known ❤️
view all 3,741,822 comments
danielricciardo   congrats lovebirds 🎉🕊
yourusername   miss you already :(
yourusername   don't mind me, just appreciating the sweetest boy ever... ❤️❤️❤️
yourusername   can't wait to see you soon !!!
yourusername   gonna write a whole album about how much i love u
landonorris   I'd love that
mclaren   Can't wait to see you in the paddock, yourusername ;)
Liked by yourusername, landonorris
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If Lando had known this would happen, he’d have never made that Instagram post.
“YOU’RE DATING WHO?!”
The Japanese driver in front of him whirls around in his seat, eyes wide and mouth hung open in askance.
It’s rare that Yuki speaks to Lando; after all, their language and cultural barrier makes conversation difficult. But this is an entirely different situation altogether.
Lando grins sheepishly, casting a look towards Charles, who stands beside him. The Monegasque merely chuckles, leaning forward in his seat to peer at Yuki.
“So, do you know Y/N?” Charles asks with a cheeky smile.
“Do I know Y/N?!” Yuki is practically leaping out of his seat, his excitement causing the other drivers in the area to glance back at the commotion. “Of course I do! She’s the best singer of all time! I always listen to her songs!”
“Oh, are we talking about Y/N L/N?” Pierre, passing by, cuts in, “Yuki loves her. Has a huge crush on her and everything.”
Lando spreads his palms out, grinning. “Guess I’ll have to keep Yuki away from her when she comes to the paddock, hmm?”
The way Yuki’s eyes light up in glee doesn’t go unnoticed, the Alpha Tauri driver’s face breaking out into an uncontrollable grin.
“You’re bringing her! When? Where?!”
“Calm down, mate,” Lando laughs, leaning back in his seat. His heart flutters at the thought of you in McLaren colours, proudly representing him and his team in the paddock, for the world to see. He clears his throat, trying to stop the furious reddening of his cheeks. “You’ll see her at Suzuka. No rush.. I know my girlfriend's quite the catch - but so am I, right?”
At this, Yuki seemingly goes quiet.
Lando raises an eyebrow. “Yuki…? You okay there?”
A moment of silence passes before Yuki gets up, motioning for Lando to follow him. With a wary look towards an equally-confused Charles and Pierre, who both only shrug in response, Lando follows Yuki towards a quieter corner.
Once they reach a secluded spot, Yuki’s eyes darken, his smile dropping instantly. The shift in atmosphere is undeniable. Lando's never seen Yuki this serious, not even after the Spanish Grand Prix. In all honesty: It scares him.
“Lando,” Yuki says, his voice steeled and brows furrowed. “I like you. I think you’re funny, and you’re a good driver-”
“Hey, thanks man,” he jokes. The attempt at keeping the mood light, however, doesn’t work in the slightest.
“-But, look, listen, if you ever think of hurting her-”
“Sorry, are we talking about Y/N?” Lando’s head tilts in confusion.
“Yes, Y/N. If you ever hurt her,” Yuki continues, ignoring the shocked look on Lando’s face. “If you ever try to hurt her, just know that I will never forgive you. Ever. Do you understand?”
“I-” Lando shakes his head, his cheeks going pink. How do you even respond to that? “-Well, yeah, mate, of course. I only want the best for her. Really, I do.”
“Okay, good. 'Cause I’ll be watching you.” Yuki straightens up, a satisfied smile on his face. “Well, I’ll see you around, then! I will look forward to Suzuka.”
And, with a playful punch to the arm, Yuki is off, leaving Lando stunned at what just happened.
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So, when Suzuka rolls around, true to his word, Lando shows up to the paddock with you on his arm.
The sight has Yuki running over instantly, a large bashful smile on his face as he greets you enthusiastically.
“Hi! You must be Yuki,” you smile softly, quietly amused at his enthusiasm. “Lando’s told me all about you.”
That was true - Immediately after Lando’s little… altercation, as one might call it, with Yuki, he’d texted you in a frantic hurry. It was, in all honesty, endearing, and incredibly funny. You’d teased Lando about it relentlessly in the days after. Plus, you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t used the Alpha Tauri driver’s words as leverage; referencing Yuki’s threat to get Lando to pick up some cupcakes, to let you pick the movie for date nights, and so on.
Lando hums in response, watching with an amused smile as Yuki almost trips over his feet trying to shake your hand. “Y/N, this is Yuki. And Yuki, this is… Well, you already know who she is.”
Yuki’s eyes are blown wide in amazement as he shakes your hand, his grip firm and his smile bright. “Wow, it’s so cool that you’re here! I love your new song, it’s already one of my favourites!”
You share a smile with Lando, who squeezes your side in a playful ‘I-told-you-so’ motion.
“Thank you so much, Yuki, that’s so sweet of you! Tell you what - If you let Lando past in the race, I’ll send you a signed copy of my new album, free of charge, before it even drops. How 'bout that?”
Yuki lets out a loud laugh, shaking his head. "No way! Maybe if Lando lets me through in quali today."
You exchange a grin with your boyfriend, who shakes his head in amusement.
"Alright, it was great seeing you, Yuki. Good luck out there," Lando fist bumps the smaller driver, who waves at you before departing with a pep in his step.
Lando's hand finds yours as you walk back to the McLaren motorhome.
"So, that was Yuki..."
"Yep," he nods in response, popping the 'p'. "What'd you think of him?"
You smile cheekily. "You sure it was him who threatened you that time? He seems so sweet!"
Lando scoffs, shaking his head despite the amused smirk that sneaks up on his face. "You haven't seen him when he's angry. He's a menace on the track, I'll tell you that."
The bright laugh that leaves your lips makes Lando's heart skip a beat, heat rising to his face at the look of joy you send his way. You never cease to make his heart flutter.
"Well, finish in the points, and maybe I'll put in a good word to Yuki then, hmm?"
"Alright, muppet. You can count on that."
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"Well..."
You're lying on the bed in Lando's hotel room, his trophy sitting tall and proud on the dresser in front of you.
It's been a crazy past 24 hours. In just this one day, you've witnessed perhaps one of the greatest drives of Lando's career, and at your first ever race, on top of that.
Lando wraps you in his arms, flipping the both of you around so that you lie atop his chest.
You smile he gazes up at you, his chest rising and falling to the steady beating of his heart. You feel so at home in these moments, the in-between spaces of time where you have him all to yourself; no races to win, no cameras to look out for. Just you and him, and the spaces in between your fingers.
You laugh softly as he nudges his face into your neck. "Well, what?"
"Well, you still gotta thank Yuki," he replies, his voice muffled in the crook of your neck. "He let me by on the second last lap. Probably would've lost out on P3 if not for that."
You chuckle, instinctively reaching a hand up to play with his curls. Lando hums lowly, leaning into your touch.
"Thought you were scared of him?" you tease, a playful smile toying on your lips.
"Well, yeah," he mutters out, his tone of voice cheeky, a smile pressed against your skin. "Gotta stay on his good side."
That elicits a giggle from you, and he pulls away from your touch to look up at your smiling face. He cups a hand around your face and pulls you down into a kiss, the two of you breathless when you resurface for air.
"I'll send him a signed CD later," you mumble, leaning back down for another searing kiss. "But I don't wanna think 'bout him right now."
An appreciative hum leaves Lando's lips. "Why not?" he teases, pulling away with a knowing twinkle in his eye.
Your reply has his breath caught in his throat.
"'Cause all I wanna think about is you."
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stars4chratt · 30 days
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Subconscious
Pairing: Matt x fem!reader
Warnings: Again, smut / use of drugs / confessing / cocky to sub!Matt / softdom!reader / high sex (i do not condone this in any way guys, just a fair warning) / praise / stoner!Matt / grinding / handjob / vanilla(ish) / mommy kink / pet names (sweetheart, princess, mommy, etc etc) / a trip (no pun) / aftercare / a lot of swearing
Summary: The reader and Matt have been the best of friends ever since they were eleven. As they got older, the more vulnerable they were to alcohol and drugs. Matt would always be by her side getting high and drunk at desolate and abandoned parks, or maybe even in Matt’s room. Matt and the reader agreed to only stick to natural stuff like weed. But now, they’re taking it up a notch by taking a round and earthy psychedelic.
Author’s Note: stoner Matt > as i’m writing this i have Matt’s recorded twitch streams playing in the back. MY BAD I KEEP ADDING THE SWEETHEART PET NAME WITH MATT I JS LOVE IT SM ESP AFTER THE BAGS TT. Anyways, this wasn’t requested or anything this is something i just really wanted to write because i love it when there's a best friend trope weaved in <3 HOPE YOU ENJOYYYY. From Maxine, with love ♡.
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“Are we still friends? Can we be friends?” - ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?, TYLER THE CREATOR
╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗
Matt has always had an obsession with spirituality and the 60s. From the posters of Jimi Hendrix on his walls, to the deluxe edition Beatles vinyl records that sit alongside the vintage record player on his hardwood dresser.
Ever since Matt’s dad bought a collection of thrifted CDs for his car when he was only a toddler, he fell in love with psychedelic rock and the whole new era of love and peace and tranquil that came around in the mid to late 20th century.
Whenever he isn’t in his cramped and maximalist abode smoking bubba kush, he’s out going to underground stores which sell abstract and kaleidoscopic clothes and fashion statements in general.
The vibrant colours and the political mindsets and the pure lack of fucks to give during the time period has Matt enamoured. Calling him a big fan would be putting it extremely lightly.
You and Matt first met in 6th grade of middle school. From what you can remember, you were sitting next to him.
He was laser focused on his assignment with big and obvious headphones clasped onto his head.
Bobbing his head slowly to the smooth and flowy melodies, you pat him on the shoulder.
He turns his head and immediately pulls the headphones to the side so one of his ears perks out.
“What music are you listenin’ to?” Matt instantly thinks you’re about to ridicule him. He, for some odd reason, has always been the victim of mockery. You never understood why, he’s such a cool and chilled out kid.
“O-oh…um…” Matt stutters nervously. He was truly unsure of what to say or do in this situation. You could feel the fight or flight trigger in his hard gaze.
“Gimme the headphones! I wanna listen.” Exclaiming with an odd sense of compassion. Matt furrows his eyebrows and looks at you funny but still gives you his headphones anyway.
You whiz the headphones around your ears and onto your head. The hallucinatory notes mixing with the light and staticky voices put you in a heavy but pleasing trance.
You feel a big smile wipe across your face clean as you look back at Matt staring at you impatiently. Silently telling you ‘give me my headphones back, you weirdo.’
“This is so cool! What’s the song called?” You speak enthusiastically, still with a big grin on your profile.
Matt’s eyes light up slightly at you. You can’t tell if it’s because he’s shocked at your interest in this type of thing or because he was alarmed by how bubbly and enthusiastic you are.
“Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds… It’s by the Beatles.” He drawls out, now looking down at the floor and fidgeting with his fingers.
“Siiiiiick. Are there any more songs like this one?” You hand him back his headphones, you start to rock in your chair in anticipation and out of looking for something to do now that you don’t have the sensory fulfilment that is Matt’s music taste.
“Oh of course. They’re a band with a bunch of other songs and albums, kid.” Matt calling you kid after almost instantaneously sparking an acquaintance with you makes you giggle to yourself. What a funny nickname for someone you just met.
“Well, can you show me them? Pretty please?” You utter with an exaggerated pout on your lips as you flutter your eyelashes at him. You intertwine your hands and rest them at the side of your face to hyperbolise the sad puppy look, making Matt chuckle lightly.
“Fine…there are many other bands like them, y’know.”
“Show me those ones too!” Yelling down his ear with eagerness, he flinches at your noisiness and covers his ear you just bellowed in.
“Ugh.” He scoffs in annoyance, whilst you’re sitting across him with the biggest twinkle in your eye.
“Yay! Thank youuuuu.” Your genuine excitement makes his face flush into a deep maroon. He turns his head around in embarrassment, trying not to maintain eye contact.
“Yeah whatever, kid.”
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
NINE YEARS LATER
“Wanna try it?”
What Matt has in his hands is a vacuum sealed metallic bag. You could not make out what it is but you knew for sure it was some kind of drug.
“What the fuck is it? I thought we made an agreement that we weren’t gonna do chemical shit. Y’know how I feel about that.” You scrunch your nose in both confusion and disgust. Yet you were still curious as to what Matt was holding in his hand.
“Kid, have you never heard of magic mushrooms before? Jesus, for someone who smokes a fuck ton of wedding cake, you seem to have no clue what these boomers are.”
“I do know what a fucking magic mushroom is, Matt. I just didn’t want it to be a bag of heroin or some shit like that.” Your legs cross whilst you look at him through your eyelashes. You’re genuinely hesitant since you’ve never tried a mushroom before. Yeah, you smoked weed. But this is a whole different thing. This is a literal psychedelic.
“Heroin at mass is sold in baggies or balloons, stupid.” He chortles. “As I was saying, are you gonna try it with me or nah?” He chucks the small pouch at you. 
There’s a small plastic window where you can see the muddy fungi inside. You cringe in distaste, you wonder to yourself where the fuck he got them from. Incredibly skittish, you want to back out. But curiosity and temptation is killing you at the same time.
“I don’t think I wanna try this Matt. It seems stupid.” You scoff. Matt smirks down at you and grabs the bag again.
“Don’t knock it ‘till you try it, kid. It’s just mushrooms, you’re not gonna die.” He waves the sealed bag tantalisingly around your face.
“Fine, fine whatever.” You give him the bird and suck your teeth. He chuckles like a little child at your offensive remarks. He offers you the bag again.
“Ladies first.” He remarks cunningly.
You break open the packet and receive a heavy waft of dirt. You turn your head the other way immediately as a natural reaction. The strong scent makes your face almost turn inside out in repulsion.
“You’re so dramatic.” Matt smirks. You turn back at him with a mean glare.
“You sniff it, then. ‘Cuz you’re soooo tough.” You jitter mockingly right up in his face. Dragging your hand right under his nostrils for him to get a whiff. His eyebrows knit close together and screw his eyes shut.
“Who’s dramatic now? Hm?” Your teasing rhetoric strikes one of his nerves. He immediately plunges his hand in the bag and takes the squishy piece of matter.
“Hey hey, slow down. Let me get one out.” You yell out at him in shock at his lack of hesitancy. He rolls his eyes with impatience while your shivering hand places itself into the plastic bag to pick one out.
“Oh yeah, just so y’know, this could last up to 5 hours.” Matt states super casually. Your eyebrows raise as you look back up at him. You’re not all that surprised though. What were you expecting? It's not plain jane weed, it’s mushrooms.
“I don’t give a fuck anymore, let’s just get this over with.” 
Soon after you said that, you both hastily gulped the abnormal saprophyte down. Both of your faces contort at the peculiar taste and texture.
“Eurgh… that was the worst.” You gag at the displeasure going down your throat and into your digestive system.
“Yeah, this is a one time thing for sure.” Matt affirms with a deep frown. He turns to his queen sized bed with silk sheets and plops down next to you.
“When will these hit?” You quiz him curiously. Tangling and playing with the strands of your hair out of a way to distract yourself from what you just did.
“It's the same principle as an edible, it’ll take a while to hit. So don’t take another one.” He mumbles inconspicuously since his face is half smushed into his soft mattress.
“Shall we smoke some weed while we wait?”
“No, dude. We’d literally die. Let’s not fuckin’ kill ourselves from severe psychosis tonight, yeah?” 
You smile at his stupid banter. It’s what made Matt so appealing to you. His dry humour alongside his ridiculous behaviour when you’re both stoned as shit is like taking a breath of fresh air. Knowing each other for almost ten years and you two still never get tired of each other. Constantly hanging out, doing stupid and reckless shit ever since you two were tweens. True best friends.
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
A while has passed, and the both of you are so far out of your heads. Every single time you turn to look at each other, the more distorted everything gets. You see things you don’t actually see, you hear things you don’t actually hear, you smell things you don’t actually smell. The tie dye-like swirls on Matt’s tapestries that hang proud on his walls disfigure and circle around putting you under a strict hypnosis.
“Holy shit…” Matt’s voice rattles through your cochleas, making your head sting from the blare. You move around to see him while your vision oversaturates and wiggles with no rhythm or control. 
“W-what is going on…” The bare echoes of your voice tingles your senses. The soft scent of Matt’s white musk incense blazing in the background fills the crevices of your nostrils and massages your brain, it was the only thing soothing you from the extremity of the situation.
“Matt…I’m scared…What the fuck is going on.” Abruptly, the effects on your voice quickly transitions into a thick static. The sensory overload inflicts the both of you. You feel incredibly overwhelmed and almost spiral into a state of panic.
“I’m here, I promise.” Matt mutters under his breath. His clammy hands take a hold of your wrist firmly. You look up at him to see his pupils viciously dilated while finding it hard to breathe.
“I’m so scared.” You shudder. Pure anxiety soaks you up but is squeezed back out when Matt moves your head to rest on his shoulder. He tilts his head so it lays on top of yours.
“It’s going to be okay, sweetheart. I promise.” Your heartbeat pounds rapidly. You don’t say or do anything both because you’re way too high as well as wanting to savour this moment since you purely assume this will never happen ever again.
Why is Matt being so soft with you? Ever since you two first met, he’s never been the type to call you these names.
“From now on. Weed n’ fuckin’ weed only.” You demand in a serious manner. Matt sighs out a laugh while he strokes your hair in reassurance. “Of course… p-princess.”
You purse your lips as a way to try and hide the excitement from Matt calling you these sudden names. A million thoughts come racing through your mind all at once. You’ve gotten both high and drunk with Matt on several occasions. Are the mushrooms that strong?
Your vision is still eradicated and infused with neon reds and pinks. You want to close your eyes but when you’re in pitch black darkness, the patterns become more prominent and it freaks you out to an extreme.
You hear Matt whisper delicately which makes your ears perk up indefinitely. You twist your neck to look up at him for his gaze to meet yours. His mouth hangs slightly open with his pupils large and his eyebags hang low across his defined cheekbones.
“l-like…you..” He sputters out. He sounds like he has no more control left in the muscles of his face any more. Jesus christ, this shit is strong. 
“...huh…” Rebound of the vowels smushed on your tongue and teeth is elevated by the effects of the drug. Both you and Matt are incredibly discombobulated. You raise yourself from underneath Matt’s figure for you to try your absolute best to attempt to understand what he just said.
Matt’s now looking up at you through the locks of hair that drape over his low and inflamed eyes.
“I really…really like you… like, ‘ver since… I-I got to know you better in 6th grade…I now have a decent excuse for why I’m telling you this... I’m fucking tripping balls.” He laughs it off as if he didn’t just confess his feelings to you off the rip right in front of you, face to face.
You just sit there gazing down at him bewildered with your mouth agape. He clenches his lips shut and frowns slightly, averting his gaze down to the bed in regret of just blurting that out.
“Matt…w-what the fuck…” Immediately after you utter this question, Matt slaps his hand over his mouth and starts to slightly curl himself up into a little ball like a shrivelled raisin. 
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry I-I ruined the experience… I thought you felt the same way and I was thinking too quickly ahead of myself I-I’m really sorry-”
You pat both of Matt’s shoulders and force his head up to look at you.
“Matt, I-It’s okay… I promise you. I-I feel the same. I know we’re both high as fuck right now, but I know for sure t-that I’m telling the truth. I really like you, Matt.”
His body loosens underneath you in reaction to your words. Your thumb rubs softly over his defined cheekbones. The frown on his face turned upside down completely into a large smile. 
Your big and swollen pupils squint down at him. His heavy breaths, his cherry pink lips resting lazily and hanging slightly open, and his frizzy  and dishevelled hair that drapes gracefully over his droopy eyes.
Everything about him, the whole sight of him makes you soaked at your core.
Your thighs clench together in desperation and you grit down onto your bottom lip intensely. The flesh of your hand is still resting on Matt’s face. You can feel the pricklyness of his stubble on your very fingertips.
The two of you just stare at each other, admiring every little thing about one another. In a comfortable but loud silence. The effects of the drug are still sharp around the edge, jabbing and stabbing both of your 5 main senses.
You feel your body start to give in and fall forward into Matt. Your forehead clashes with his. Your large breaths blend together.
Abruptly, he tilts his head up. His lips just graze against yours. You can tell he’s desperate with his eyes full to the brim with lust and eroticism. You pull away lightly with a smirk on your face whilst Matt writhes and squirms. He tries to follow your head so he can make contact with your mouth. He really wants to kiss you.
Seeing him this vulnerable makes you melt. What once was a bad-mouthing, cocky and smug little shit who smoked with you every week was now gone. He’s now tripping on mushrooms underneath you with a throbbing semi.
You manoeuvre yourself over so both of your legs are spread on top of him. You’re in a cowgirl position, with Matt. 
His prick pulses harshly beneath your heat. The only thing stopping the contact between the two of you are your clothes. Matt’s now fully hard, to the point where his dick has developed a tent in his harem pants. 
You start to sway your hips back and forth. Matt’s head flips back fully and his mouth hangs open. His Adam's apple is fully revealed and bobs up and down marginally. His hefty breathing now transitioned into hot and rowdy moans and whimpers.
“Look at me baby, look at me while I grind on your cock.” You finally spoke, after there was nothing but whines and sobs filling the air.
“Y-yes mommy…” You sigh out a sharp laugh. Knowing your arrogant friend who’s always causing a riot with alcohol and dope is now rock hard thanks to you, moaning and whining into your ear like a little bitch fills you with an overwhelming sense of fulfilment.
“Yeah that’s right, be a good boy for me. Keep calling me mommy.” You feel as though you could do anything to him right this second. You had all of the power and control over Matt. Your teeth grit together and the smirk on your face largens.
“You make me feel so good, Mommy. Y-you’re gonna make me cum…” The words come spilling out of his mouth like calm waves of the ocean. What used to be the intense sound of his voice from the drugs now turned silky smooth from the euphoria spooling out from your sensitive nerves.
You stop rocking your hips on top of his cock. Matt looks up at you with his bottom lip concealed fully inside his mouth by his teeth. 
“Take your pants off baby, lemme make you cum properly.” You command him pompously. Immediately, he speedily grasps at his waist band and tugs it down his thighs.
His cock bounces out of the loose fabric. The tip was swollen and pink with precum dripping out thickly. The rhythm of his breath matched with the harsh trembling of blood flow to his dick. 
“Jesus Christ… and I barely did anything to you, not yet anyway.” You tease. Matt’s face jams up with impatience and knuckles his hands into his vibrant sheets.
“P-please just touch me. I really wanna cum mommy.” He pleads eagerly. His eyebrows furrowed deeply into his skin and his face splashed apricot pink. His whole body shivers. Anticipating heavily for your skin to press into his.
You reach out your hand and wrap it loosely around his large and thick cock. You slither down his shaft slowly in a jesting manner. You leer up at Matt to see him gaping down at you, panting stiffly.
Your pace on his dick starts to quicken. Your fingers clench tightly around him making him jolt up into your hand.
Matt loses all control within himself and starts to thrust up and down hastily. Practically fucking your hand. You push him down with your other palm and hold him into place. You shoot him a mean stare as he gulps down what was left of his pride.
“Don’t move.” The stern tone infused in your voice makes Matt quiver. He tugs at the collar of his shirt and pulls it up his face to conceal his severe embarrassment.
What’s happening right now tells you one thing that you never would’ve thought would be the case. Matt loves being controlled. He admires the idea of being dominated. And you are contributing to that fantasy.
The pad of your index and middle finger press onto his fleshy, rosy-red tip faintly. A choked up whine crawls out of his throat and his legs rise upwards but your weight stops them.
“M-mommy… please don't stop... I’m gonna cum.”
“Do it baby. Don’t be shy. Be a good boy for mommy and cum.” You start to go faster and more harsh on his sensitive tip. Matt’s entire body shakes and his hips buck and lock into place.
“Cumming mommy, c-cumming...”
His tip suddenly spurts out long thick strings of his load. Onto your face, your hand, your clothes, your chest, everywhere. Every single time a white rope would come spilling out of his prick, an intense shiver would shoot through his body and his shirt is now crumpled into its original place.
He gasps intimately while you sit there with his seed still dripping down your face. 
Matt’s eyes suddenly widen and he raises his entire figure in a panic to grab the box of tissues on his bedside table.
“No no, don’t worry. I got it.” You disclose to him delicately. You tug out a few sheets of tissue and wipe at his skin from the waist below.
“I’m sorry for making such a mess… I didn’t think it would be that bad.” Matt utters sorrowfully. He pulls his pants back up and you grab more tissues.
He takes hold of your wrist to take the tissues from you. He places his thumb onto your chin to position you as he folds the tissues.
“It’s fine Matt, I enjoyed it. A lot, actually.” You grin compassionately as Matt swipes at your face with the tissues.
“I think that’s the first and last time we’re ever gonna do mushrooms, though.” He snickers, crumpling the dirty tissues and chucking them into the bin lying at the side of the bed.
“Yeah, one time thing.” You rest your head on his stomach, you rise and fall with his breathing.
"Can I braid your hair?" Matt casually inquires. "I have a bunch of charms and hair ties."
You beam a smile from ear to him, your face fills up with a cherry blossom pink.
"Yeah, of course Matt."
╚══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╝
Author’s Note No.2: I think this will most definitely have a part 2. I have no complaints with making a series, if you haven’t already noticed with me always bringing up pins n’ needles. This took me a while to write because I’ve been busy with exams and social life. But I finally completed one after 2 weeks!!! Yayyy!! ‘Till next time, pooks.
༝༚༝༚, Maxine.
Taglist: @gamermattsgf @luverboychris @worldlxvlys @chrissystur @chaosisalwayscrying @bellasfavbisexual @luvmxtt @tillies33ssss @breeloveschris
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hellsitegenetics · 2 months
Note
I love this gimmick! Please do the lyrics to chattanooga choo choo (chosen because it was the most c/g rich thing i coild think of)
Pardon me boy, is that the Chattanooga Choo Choo?
Track twenty nine, boy you can gimme a shine
I can afford to board a Chattanooga Choo Choo
I've got my fare and just a trifle to spare
You leave the Pennsylvania station 'bout a quarter to four
Read a magazine and then you're in Baltimore
Dinner in the diner, nothing could be finer
Than to have your ham 'n' eggs in Carolina
When you hear the whistle blowin' eight to the bar
Then you know that Tennessee is not very far
Shovel all the coal in, gotta keep it rollin'
Woo, woo, Chattanooga, there you are
There's gonna be a certain party at the station
Satin and lace, I used to call funny face
She's gonna cry until I tell her that I'll never roam
String identified:
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Tac tt , ca g a
ca a t a a Cattaga C C
' gt a a t a t t a
a t aa tat 't a at t
a a aga a t ' at
t , tg c
Ta t a a '' gg Caa
a t t ' gt t t a
T tat T t a
a t ca , gtta t '
, , Cattaga, t a
T' ga a cta at at t tat
at a ac, t ca ac
' ga c t t tat ' a
Closest match: Hedera helix genome assembly, chromosome: 22 Common name: Common ivy
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lowkeyrobin · 3 months
Text
MCYT ; they have a very obvious crush on you
includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, & quackity
warnings ; language
y/s/n = your ship name
masterlist
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TOMMYINNIT
constantly donates / talks through tts when you're streaming alone
TommyInnit donated $10!
"Tommy, stop giving me money, just use TTS"
only uses tts when you tell him to each and every time, it's routine
if he's streaming when you compliment him, chat always points out his red face to both of you
"shut up chat! I'm not blushing. you guys suck"
after a while he gets invested in the shipping
"if I open wattpad and don't see three new y/s/n fics I'm gonna lose my shit, guys"
"Tommy, Tommy, check ao3"
"I found one and it actually looks good!"
reading fanfics on stream (with permission of course and being light on the jokes and whatnot)
you and Tommy make your own fanfic too
he gets your friends to read it on their streams too 💀💀💀
literally every bit he writes is something he wants to do with you
such a hopeless romantic
RANBOO
always doing you favors
never saying no to you
"yes sir/maam!"
always donos on your streams while speed running or playing horror games to tell you good luck
it rlly isn't a stream wo one of their donos istg
chat always asking where he is during one of said streams
editors go CRAZY with the misfits vlogs & tom simons vlogs with you two in them
the chemistry???
you react to / watch each sorry boys episode on stream when they come out
editors go crazy with your compliments to ranboo
they do too 😭😭
giggling and kicking their feet cause they're so funny to you
he's literally head over heels bruh
gives u free merch and stuff
FREDDIE BADLINU
he's usually nice/full of compliments but he's so extra with you
claims it's for the bit
lets you dye his hair
ylyl streams with him constantly LMAO
he wrote your name on his bi flag for some reason??? when you ask about it he just says "why not?" and you shrug it off
always helping you pick out clothes and shit when thrifting/shopping
always has to find a pair of sunglasses for you I swear
constantly asks his viewers to edit you guys
it's become a part of your relationship where he clearly has a crush on you but you can't tell if it's for the bit or if he's serious so you never say anything
the tom simons vlogs w you guys go hard
especially the ylyl irl with ran, tommy, charlie, james, and billzo
same with the ylyl american version w jack, tommy, james, harry, etc
editors and fanfic writers have field days with those
just straight up making out as "friends" for the bit????
even Tommy is confused and he's been supporting Freddie through the dumb shit he's been doing
supports the fanfics
he honestly reads them
if you catch him doing so he says he's just interested and he might read it on stream for funnies
QUACKITY
"accidently" sends you free merch nearly every drop
qsmp streams are never complete without you guys flirting or going on a date
basically old karlnapity but you guys on the qsmp
qsmp y/s/n streams go so hard, they're literally the best
cellbit, roier, and jaiden officiating your fake wedding
qsmp y/s/n edits and fanart went crazy
youre like "guys no fanfics or edits of y/s/n, only if hes comfortable with it, I don't want you guys to weird him out"
and hes begging people to make the fanfics, the fanart, the everything
daily tweets of "guys send me more y/s/n fanart" or "any good y/s/n fanfic recommendations??"
cellbit always replies to those tweets with some long ass dictionary ass response to fuck with you two
fitmc of all people makes you guys a little tumblr oneshot.
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gay-dorito-dust · 2 months
Note
Hello! Can you do a Damian and reader who are friends, and one day the reader goes over to the Wayne Manor and called Titus? Like both Damian and the reader got into a silly little joke about who Titus loves more? I think it would be funny if Titus went to the reader because they had treats or something in their pocket haha
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‘This is utterly ridiculous.’
‘What? are you too chicken that Titus might like me more.’ You taunted as you then started clucking like a chicken in Damian’s ear, to which he then shoves you away by the shoulder.
‘I am not chicken and besides it was only one time that Titus wrongfully ignored me for you.’ Damian replied but you weren’t buying it.
‘If you aren’t chicken then why are you trying to get out of our bet then? Hmmm? Seems a little suspicious there Wayne.’ You asked and Damian could only curse himself for acting so brash and accepting the stupid challenge you pestered him with as Titus patiently stood a good distance between you and Damian, tilting his head to the side as though to ask him what was taking so long.
‘Our bet? You mean your stupid-‘ you raised your brows at Damian as you started clucking again, though softer this time and Damian knew there was no version of this where he got out of participating in your bet. Not a single one because you wouldn’t let him live it down otherwise and Damian prides himself of being a man of his word, no matter how ridiculous it might seem. So Damian bites his tongue and swallows his pride before moving a couple of spaces away from you before muttering under his breath. ‘Let’s get this over with before anyone dares see me in such a state.’
You smiled and then looked towards Titus, who was still stood perfectly still in his spot, before dropping down to your knees and holding out your arms saying. ‘Titus! Come here boy! Come here!’ Damian scoffed at this display and looked at the Great Dane expectantly as he clicked his fingers and pointed to the spot in-front of him. ‘Titus. Come.’ He commanded. Titus didn’t move for a good couple of seconds, as though contemplating who he should go to, his owner or his owner’s friend who gives him the bestest tasting treats he’s ever tasted; which was saying a lot coming from a Great Dane who’s owner was the son of a billionaire.
‘Titus sweetie come to y/n!’ You called out sweetly.
‘No. Titus come to me.’ Damian commanded again.
Titus walked forwards a little, still hesitant on who to choose, but as though he was being chased by a bat out of hell, the Great Dane bolted over to you and rammed into you hard. So hard I fact that within a blink of an eyes you were knocked to the floor either Titus sticking his muzzle into your face, his rancid and warm dog breath cascading over you, as Damian stood over you with crossed arms and what looked like a pout.
‘You cheated.’ He said after a while.
‘No. I won.’ You replied pridefully at your victory over him.
‘No, Titus was coming towards me, only to stop and run towards you instead. You did something, I know you did and I’ll find out what it is.’ Damian barks, bearing his teeth at you but you were more than use to his occasional outbursts that ultimately mean nothing.
You shrugged as Titus then decides that he wants to lie down, but as he does lie down he goes and rests his head on your stomach and a paw on your leg, making it so that you wouldn’t be getting up anytime soon if Titus had anything to say about it. ‘You’re just a sore loser Damian.’ You tell him as you laid a hand atop of Titus’ head and rubbed behind his ear just the way he liked. ‘I won the bet fair and square. Titus likes me and there’s nothing wrong with loosing once in a while.’ You concluded and Damian grits his teeth.
‘Tt. Whatever, I’ll prove that you cheated one way or another and until then you can keep parading this so called victory because I can assure you it won’t happen again.’ He threatens as you and Titus visibly perk up at this. ‘So you’re saying there’s a next time?’ You asked and Damian throws his head back a groans before walking deeper into the Manor and away from you and Titus, murmuring under his breath as he goes. ‘That’s all you took away from that? Unbelievable’
You nonchalantly shrug your shoulders and dig into your jean pocket to pull out a dog treat for Titus, who engulfed it with one quick bite of his powerful jaw. ‘There was no rules against bribing your best friend’s dog with dog treats.’ You justified to yourself as you fed Titus another treat, ‘after all what Damian doesn’t know won’t hurt him, isn’t that right Titus?’ You then asked the Great Dane who only sneezed as he looked at you expectantly for more dog treats for his participation in your schemes against his owner.
‘Good boy.’ You praised as you continued to feed him treats to his hearts content.
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theysaidhush · 3 months
Note
cathybrid!jungwon and doghybrid!jake in heat and all they wanna do is fill reader with their kittens/pups 😵 and theyre so competitive the whole time trying their hardest to get her pregnant first
"i'll give you my puppies baby, wouldnt that be so nice?"
"fuck off she doesnt want your mutts. how does carrying my kittens sound huh cutie?"
(ps i love ur work so much actually aaaakvksh)
Roommates Cat!Jungwon and Dog!Jake bickering as they fuck you
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I have a damn breeding king and it shows it's killing me... Thank you so much I hope it reached your expectation!
For some reason my English is sooo bad today please bear (beer?) with me TT
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They are your roommates and have been eyeing you for ages. But respectfully of course. At first it was just curiosity, it was new, you were a girl, the only girl in their apartment - that they were sharing with Sunghoon, who was almost never here. But most importantly, you were human.
You didn't have a clue about their habits - their counterparts' habits, and it was so funny, you were funny! Trying to navigate through your house-share with hybrids with the help of Google - you didn't want to make a salad for them to mock you after, as it has once happened when you were on duty in the kitchen.
But the fact that you were clueless was even more entertaining when it came to skin-ship. Both of them fed you bullshit about how they needed to touch you and how they needed you to touch them. It was in their DNA so the answer to their need couldn't be Google, right ?
And even if it weirded you out a bit at the beginning - because they were still grown up men, you eventually got used to it.
You got used to have Jungwon snuggling his head in the crook of your neck when you were watching a movie together, his tail flickering here and there when an intense scene was happening in the movie.
You got used to have Jake fall on top of you after a long day at work, stroking his cheeks on your hair, saying that it was just another demonstration of affection like any other - never mind the cat's bombastic side eyes towards the dog.
You got used to have them hovering over you when you were on your period, handing you things which they hope would make you feel better - ice cream, hot water bottle, chocolate, their ears? name it and you have it. Most of the time, Jake would sleep into your bed - with your consent - and you would watch a movie together.
But you never, never got used to them pounding into your cunt or your mouth while praising you and bickering over your head.
You never got used to the way they would take turn ravishing your body, mapping your body with their tongues and soft kisses.
You never got used to the feeling of their sweating and burning skin pressed against yours, making you whimper and complain a bit at the feeling of their sweat sticking to your skin, rolling down your curves as they watch you, delighted, hair stuck to their forehead because of their damn heat.
You never got used to how they take turn fucking you, how it seems like they're hitting deeper and harder every time they switch places, trying to prove that they can fuck you better than the other.
You never got used to the expression on their face when they are looking down at you through their lashes, eyebrows furrowed and doe eyes semi-closed.
You never got used to how Jake manhandles you so you're on all four, just to pump his cum deep enough for his instinct to be satisfied, his tail wagging excitedly at the prospect of fucking you full of his pups.
You never got used to how Jungwon always follows after him with a sneer on his face at your position as he pushes your head in the covers, ears pinned to his skull as he mounts you and tells Jake that it's how you "properly fuck your cat".
You never got used to how they always fill you up to the brim, always pushing each other's cum deeper inside your womb until they're worn out and your tummy is swollen because of the sheer amount of seed inside it.
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What happens next?
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shurisbathwater · 2 months
Note
Paige B doing tt with gf headcannons
OKKK I GOT U
I hope i didnt sway away from the ask 😟 but i tried
Also ignore the way most of the links r w men..
Plus one from youtube i deep dived n couldn’t find nun
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Always begssss you to make tiktoks with her, specifically dances
Like the majorette ones or that dance w the sound “get in wit me”
“Pleaaseee? Just one more?”
“Paige, we just made five today..”
Messes the dance up because shes staring at you or your ass
She’s all for the corny couple trends—eats them up.
Y’all remember the hell shell one from 2021? Yeahh 100% on her list.
The out of my league one, and the dance
She definitely will record you doing normal things or like devouring a plate and put a funny sound (or in 2x speed) over it to piss you off
No bc she genuinely thinks its hilarious LMAOO
You act irritated and side eyes will definitely be thrown around, but deep down u find it funny too
Sends u a million tiktoks per day and gets mad when you dont respond
“Open the tiktoks i sent.”
“How many did you send in a span of five minutes?”
Will prop up the camera somewhere, put on a lightskin ahh sound and be all up in your face (professional annoyer lmaoo)
Definitely does the all the time dance or dicerolls 24/7 and be all up on you just because.
“I really dislike you.”
“How about now?” does the thing
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bsverryin · 4 months
Text
what HSR men do to make you feel less lonely ﹒⪩⪨﹒
(Dan heng, Jing yuan, Blade, Gepard, Argenti, )
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(for emotional readers out there)
Dan heng
If something's bothering you or he senses you're not okay, he'll drop everything to be with you for the day. Even if he has things to do, you become his top priority, and making you happy is his main mission. He showers you with words of comfort just to ensure you're okay though he's scared to say something wrong he's still trying for you, and if you're up for it, He would cuddle you any time of the day. As long as he sees that smile of yours again.
JING YUAN
When you're feeling down, he's quick to ask what you need and makes sure to send it your way. Even on days when he's tied up with work and you're feeling sad, you pop by his office out of the blue, holding onto him for comfort. No need for words; he gets the hint and starts gently running his fingers through your hair. You're free to open up about what's bothering you while you sit comfortably on his lap. It's his way of being there for you in the sweetest and simplest moments.
BLADE
He's ready to take on anyone who made you sad, no questions asked. When you're feeling down, he's quick to ask about what or who caused it. Yet, when it's about you, he softens up, letting you hold onto him as you rest your head on his shoulder. He reassures you that there's nothing wrong with you, and there's absolutely nothing he wants to change. Once he loves someone, he's all in – that's a promise he made to himself. You're not just anyone; you're the only one he will ever love, and that's a pledge he's sticking to.
GEPARD
He gives you long kisses and always tries his best to make you happy. Even though he's a bit shy around you, he doesn't want to do anything that might make him look silly in front of you. But, when you're feeling sad, he's ready to do whatever it takes to cheer you up. If that means being funny, he's up for it. And if you ever need a great friend who's good with words, he can be that too. He's like the all-in-one package designed just for you, doing everything in his power to keep that smile on your face.
ARGENTI
He's a master at saying just the right things to lift your spirits. Putting in his best effort to make you feel better, although it's almost effortless because simply being around him is so comforting. He wraps you up in hugs that come from every direction, making sure you're surrounded by warmth and care. Nestled between his arms, the love he feels for you shines through for every little thing about you.
(I don't know argenti well TT)
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request!!: peter parker who has a huge crush on reader and one day r just accidently friendzones themself without even realising that they did? (i hope that makes sense?) then after that u can take it anywhere u want to honestly!! ly <333
ily anon, you answered my pleas. also you know that tt prank where couples kiss and then say “thanks brother” or “love you sis”… couldn’t help but add it for some comedy.
mcu!peter parker x fem!reader
masterlist
you need to learn when to shut your mouth. tripping your foot into your mouth has gotten you into too many situations before, but this one is absolutely the worst one. you might as well be taken to the grave already.
your just a girl. sometimes you say your crush is “like a brother to you” when getting hounded by mr. delmar. it’s a panic move, mouth speaking before mind catches up. and it landed you in the dog house when you saw the way peter’s face dropped at the implication. but you thought he was smart enough to know that wasn’t true, you were touchy and teasing with him. you wouldn’t do that with a sibling, you’re not one of those people.
“mj, i’m a fucking idiot.” groaning into your pillow, trying to suffocate yourself.
she gave an exasperated sigh that you knew was followed by an eye roll. “yes you are, but you don’t need parker.” you heard the flip of a page.
you whined in your throat, “but i want parker!” acting like a tantrum kid. even adding a kick to your feet, your bed springs creaking.
mj groaned, “then clear the air! it’s not that hard!” over your peter parker drama.
you rolled from your stomach to your back, arms flipping to your sides as you stared up at your white ceiling. “but what if-“ your sentence was cut short by a knock at your window.
“say his name and he appears.”
peeking at the tips of your toes you saw peter squatting on your terrace, a hesitant smile with an awkward wave. welp, now’s a good time to clear the air.
crawling off your bed you pushed the window up and were greeted by a cool breeze. bits of peter’s baby curls swaying with the touch, a angelic glow surrounding him. you feel yourself melt just at the sight of him.
“h- hey peter, whatcha-“ “can we talk? alone?”
your eyes zeroed in on mj who was blantanly staring at the two of you, book of no interest at the moment. “oh, i’m fine over here.”
“mj…” “fine. fine. i’ll see you both at school.” packing up and leaving your home with a wiggle of her brows.
“so what did-“ “do you really think of my as a brother?”
you couldn’t help a small chuckle, “kinda funny how you’ve interrupted me three times, but uh, no. i- i don’t see you as a brother, that thought feels gross. mr. delmar was making me anxious.” looking to your fingers as you drummed them along your windowsill.
“oh thank god.” peter declared while cupping his hands on your cheeks to bring your head up. both of you smiling brightly at each other
two months later
“so what do i do?” “just sit there and look pretty.”
a shy smile at peter’s lovely words. he finished setting up his camera and pressed record, you just stared at his side profile.
“you wanna get to her, well you gotta go through me.” and peter turned to kiss you on the lips. a shiny haze covered your eyes then- “love you sis.”
“peter!”
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