#trying so hard not to need a break

[sketchy-tour]

Aa realizing I'm probably just gonna have to be okay with posting sketches more often.

As much as I love pouring my heart into a piece and showing it off, I am simply not in the headspace nor have the energy to juggle big pieces and everything else.

Aa

#text post #just rambling #more like speaking into the void #haha aaa #i hate giving up on my vision but ya kno. stressing myself out for art defeats the purpose for me #a hard thing to be okay with #but im dealing with! a lot rn #so haha art cannot be an added stress or i will die /exag #im doing my best and thats okau #ill be alright btw. dont worry too too much!!! #trying so hard not to need a break #i dont wanna break :((((( #just wanna be okay #augh #anyway pity party over #insert toothless dancing gif now

[beybuniki]

they should go on a fishing trip pt.1

#DONT COMMENT ON THE BACKGROUND I KNOWWWWWWWWWWWW #anyway this is day 1. they take a bus. the bakugo household has fishing gear so ´deku is wearing bakugo's onesoe (?) and bakugo is wearing #his dad's. and notices he has grown :') #anyway they take a BUS and don't feel like doing this at all it's awkward for so many reason #also trying to relax after everything is neurologically just really hard they might be hyperivgilant dik #and there's so much they never got to unpack bnut they have to and they have to start somewhere and with someone #deku makes that flower crown while bakugo preps everything and they both look at it and are thrown back into their childhood 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️ #and at first they just sit and wait for the bavarian fish to bite (rody should make a cameo tbh) but then bakugo breaks the iceeee. #and he starts with their moms because their moms have been such a stubbron connection between these two :') #and deku answers with the usual 'good :) how's your mom :)?' and to everyone's surprise he actually opens up #and tells deku about his mom's insomnia because she watched her son die (that shit was live streamed tpo 10 bnha tweets btw) #idk i love to think of their moms being a very easy subject to connect through i think it's easier for them that way to be more vulnerablei #and then some fish biteeeeeeeeeeee #but like 3 small ones so they have to gather berries and mushrooms and make stew (dw there's an aldi this is bavaria after all) #but yeah day 1 is a bit weird like it's just them in the woods with no distractions #which is so different from whatever went on during their 1st year of high school #don't read this i will throw up i just need this somewhere this is my public scrapbook #bnha #deku #midoriya izuku #bakugo katsuki #the flower crown on their knees makes this a bit homosexual but fishing is always homosexual im not fighting against that #au: #fishing

[tzarrz]

to all people who said PART 1 made them laugh - i lov u 💗 this is for u

#look...i know it's been a month but hear me out- #guys don't yell he's really trying okay!! #NOT a mean ww truther bc he really isn't mean like at all #not in an intentional way #he's just stressed and embarrassed and tipsy here give him a break #he's swagless & thinks it's yet another reason he's unlovable (untrue) #dont worry woowoo vash also severely lacks in the swag department #but funny doodles aside i have other more serious art of them already posted + in the works #their understanding of each other ends up being so deep #but at the same time they manage to be so utterly stupid about it #how do they manage? i don't know #they just make me want to tear my hair out #you're important to each other!!!! get!! that!!! thru!! ur! HEADS!!!! #neither of them think they deserve what they want/need #i'm inconsolable actually nobody talk to me (talk to me please) #see using words isn't so hard. stupid fictional men #(she thought she did something with those tags) #times are hard but i stay silly #by that i mean i re-read vol 10 #on the daily. #vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #nicholas d wolfwood #trimax #trigun #tzarrz

[moodlesmain]

Hi. Look at this.

I just spent two days straight making a digital conspiracy board trying to piece together my favourite genre that isn't really a genre and more just a very particular niche which doesn't really have a name.

If you want to look I reccomend downloading and zooming in on the image to read everything LMAO, I want to try and convert it to a page on my neocities at some point so its easier to view but for now you guys just get a big ol' jpeg. You're welcome :)

#THIS IS ALL ABOUT ME TRYING TO LIKE BREAK DOWN A SUB-GENRE I'VE NOTICED like thats the main thing i'm trying to do here #its so broad but also so specific and trying to explain it is hard #so i made this #welcome to my twisted mind etc #just realised i forgot to include Long Exposure :( #i'm actually posting this a day later cause it was like 4am when i finished this #gravity falls #psychonauts #coraline #paranorman #sequel post to my one from a few days ago which got way more notes than i expected asedrjthgdrf??? #this is a wip also i still wanna edit things and add things later #need to improve my silly lil' sticker labelling system #mystery kids #should i tag a few more of the things i included? at least the bigger things???? uhh #i'll tag #scooby doo #at the very least since i dedicated a whole corner to them #fandom conspiracy board #is that a thing is this a thing people normally do #idk #it's satisfying though i like it #enrichment for me :)

[lollytea]

Huntlow situationship gives me such intense brain termites you don't get it

#no i dont think its because Hunter needs time to heal first #i think if it was up to Hunter they would plunge into a committed romantic relationship immediately after the events of the finale #he would propose to her in like. 3 months probably #i know that sounds intense but i think this is what ''i literally died and came back to life'' mania does to a guy #he is so carpe diem minded hes become a little insane. he wants everything #no more waiting around. no more hesitating. he cant afford to do that anymore #would it have been the wise decision to enter a romantic relationship immediately #who's to say. but Hunter would have done it without thinking about it #its Willow that makes the decision to slow down and wait a while before they make any committments theyre not ready for #i dont think she's entirely learned her lesson about letting herself be emotionally reliant every once in a while #shes made progress but the events of ftf were such heat of the moment responses #once things are semi-stable she still needs to adapt to acknowledging that her feelings for Hunter are like. serious. and scarily intense #so like. yea Willow is slamming her pedals on the breaks for both their sakes. shes thinking about how this would effect Hunter too #but also. she scawwed. #when Willow tells him she wants to talk and she's like ''i think we should just be friends'' oh the face he makes is DEVASTATED #he didnt expect it was going in this direction at all. but like. once Willow explains how this is the most reasonable decision for now #he DOES agree. he understands what shes saying and he agrees that it's the best decision to take a breather before they jump into a romance #anyway even when theyre not officially dating the flirting continues insistently. they are very obsessed with each other and cant stop #Willow keeps trying to insist to herself that its just messing around. nothing serious. they find each other hot. its fine to kiss a little #but Hunter makes it very hard when he looks at her with big brown labrador eyes. looks at her like shes the entire world #i think if it was up to Willow they would have been trapped in that uncertain limbo forever. shes too scared to take the plunge #even if she wants to. she badly wants to #but Hunter just wont let that happen. every so often he says ''im ready whenever you are'' #he makes his intentions very known. he is not the shy boy from Camila's house anymore #Willow cant just playfully flirt with him without worrying that hes gonna reciprocate. he talks now. he expresses himself #shes a little afraid of that. but she adores it too. he makes her feel safe but also he wont let her stay in this comfort zone #hes giving her the push she needs to pursue this relationship. gives her to push to feel like she can go after what she wants #because god knows HE knows what he wants #they make me so insane

[snickeringdragon]

this is the coolest thing ive ever made

#snickart #inscryption #irlscryption #no id #HOORAY #i couldnt fucking find the long elk/vertebrae artwork so. i just kind of gave up on themHAKAHSJH #but everything else is there! #no kaycees cards #(i am using kaycees mod stoat though( #no talking cards (stinkbug/stunted wolf) #the cards are. finished #so like. i guess i work on the campaign now? #TOMORROW its 7:30 pm #or another time.i might just need a Break #but like #i wanna try and make my own little campaign i think itd be fun :]c #instead of just copying what leshy does ingame #very hard of course. but this entire project is hard #okay.thank you. i am goijg to bed soon #irlscryption is so fun and cool

[gunpowder-gemini]

POV: Your vessel kills your brother then shows up in your domain looking like this wyd

(Edit: I forgot the frickin bell oops)

Bonus:

#cotl #cotl lamb #cotl narinder #narilamb #cotl narilamb #true devotion #cotl the lamb #cotl the one who waits #cotl toww #I think the lamb may be my favorite to draw #eldritch kallamar is next i just needed a break from try-hard art and wanted to doodle something #plus I've always meant to play more with toned background instead of drawing on just white #and holy SHIT this felt so much better on my eyes will be doing this from now on methinks #my art

[biillys]

and you— you were happy.

#top one most heartbreaking scenes in the world....................... #m #gifs #billyhargroveedit #needed a break from trying to make palette sets and Colour Specific Gifs for billy week work and somehow thought /this/ would relax me?????? #now im just fucking SAD #billy hargrove #its the WAY u can see him like. fucking PHYSICALLY reacting #to when el says 'she was pretty' #like he's fighting with himself SO HARD to like. #OKAY NO LISTEN! its the way that when el ventured into his head the first time #she saw him. on the beach #with his mumma. grinning from ear to fucking ear #but surrounded with The Neil Of IT All still #like even his happiest memories where clouded with neil #so like. even when billy retreats into his head- into his HAPPY place #its STILL got neil just on the outskirts........ always still there.....always overshadowing and like. eventually taking over. #so el!!!!!!! when el fucking looks up at him!!!!!!!!! crying and begging!!!!!!!!!! she just!!!!!!!!!!! #she brings forward all those memories!!!!!!!! except she cuts neil out!!!!!!!!!!!!!! focusing on his mum!!!!!!!!!!! #highlighting every single fucking detail!!!!!!!!!! that billy can never focus on!!!!! because even his happiest memory isn't safe #and els just like!!!!!! the wave was seven feet!!! u told her it was seven feet!!! and there was sand in her shoes!!! and she was pretty!!! #she was really pretty!!!!! and you WERE HAPPY. #the way billy fucking breaks??? after she says 'she was pretty' #and then the way his face Does That and he nods along with 'she was REALLY pretty' #then the 'and you- you were Happy.' part #like #i fukcing WISH i died instead

[bonefall]

So, since BB!Ivypool will use her newfound deputy status to force a confrontation with Dovewing- how would she react if Dovewing snaps and told her to her face that she never, EVER wanted to speak with her again after everything? Like, would it click for her that even if she deeply regrets the way she treated her sister, no matter how sorry she is its up to Dovewing if she's ever forgiven? Or does she blame Heartstar thinking she turned her sister against her?

Let's pop open the hood of BB!Ivypool and her fucked up little life, and every person she's been leading up to the end of BB!TBC.

All of this starts with her father, Lionblaze, raising her with this axiom; That you are given strength to serve your Clan.

While he used Dovepaw and her powers in service of ThunderClan (often fighting with her mentor, Birchfall), Lionblaze encouraged his daughter to involve herself in Dark Forest training. Ivypaw felt like this was how she "earned" affection from her Ba, with hard work.

Just as Lionblaze believed that his physical abuse at the paw of Ashfur made him stronger, Ivypool also came to believe that growing up thrown to the wolves made her stronger too.

So when Dovewing first started to... not even REJECT the idea, just display any resentment towards it at all, it's like a personal slight.

No one ever fucking listens to Dovewing. No one cares what she wants. Just what she can do for them.

And Ivypool was super part of that. Her mentor is Brightheart, who often overexerts herself as an expression of PTSD. She saw Hawkfrost "die" turning against Tigerstar for the greater good. She sees Bumblestripe "working so hard" to "help Dovewing adjust" while she's losing her hearing.

In her eyes, Dovewing was being selfish. Look at all these people who give EVERYTHING to their Clans-- how dare you try and make it about yourself?

Tigerheart, in and out of their life constantly, gets blamed because it's a lot easier to pin it all on the Evil Codebreaking Foreigner than admit that maybe Dovewing has a point. Ah HA! THERE is the villain responsible for making my sister act weird! I knew it all along!

(Plus Tigerheart and Ivypool got pitted against each other a LOT in DF training because Ivy was Hawkfrost's apprentice and Tigerheart was Tigerstar's, for some incredibly fucked up projection reasons you'd expect of Tunnelbunstar. Ivypool will nonsensically blame Tigerheart like she's a Dinkleberg.)

(Also tbf tigerheart would 100% let her believe it, 1. Because it's funny, and 2. Because it takes the heat off Dovewing)

And Ivypool was VICIOUS about this. AVoS is still getting shuffled but if anything vindictive she did towards Dove in that arc gets removed, I will replace it with something just as bad. She would actively sabotauge ShadowClan if it meant keeping Tigerheart away from Dovewing.

She can't handle the thought of losing Dovewing. At some point, it became about control. It's her insecurity towards herself, towards her family, towards all of her losses, and even towards service of her very Clan.

And then Dovewing booked it. Couldn't handle this shit and panicked and BAILED.

And THEN it's about getting Dovewing BACK. She's even dragged Fernsong into this and tried to leverage his friendship with Dovewing to this end. She'll even support Bumblestripe when he tries to argue for an invalidation of Queen’s Rights on technicality.

Ivypool: "Those kits are Bumblestripe's! He has a claim! They even have HIS MANE"

Heartstar: "Hmm. No, it is very clearly MY mane."

Ivypool: "You can't-- wait what?"

Heartstar: "Lightkit even has my beautiful smile <3 so fuck off, maybe?"

For a long time that's where Ivypool was. She was the awful, vindictive sister-in-law constantly trying to weasel in to make Dovewing feel bad. When she had kittens of her own, she was still in this mindset.

It didn't end well. In BB!TBC, Bristlefrost needed her. Ivypool stepped in to prevent her from being the impostor's pawn, but refused to do anything when she was caught and imprisoned for being in a HalfClan relationship. She needed to be punished as a codebreaker.

Brought to the next Gathering, the impostor reiterated the need to enforce the code, and desperate times calling for desperate measures. He called for SkyClan to punish their own warrior. They refused to make this a public spectacle.

So he sliced open her throat, right on the branch beside him.

Ivypool didn't imagine she would be KILLED. Suddenly her whole world shattered. The moon stayed clear and bright. Her daughter was dead before she hit the ground and she had HERSELF to blame.

Dovewing and Ivypool served in the rebellion together, and eventually Ivy went into the Dark Forest as a Light in the Mist. She watched Bristlefrost die, AGAIN, knocking Ashfur out of the sky and burning them both up in orbit, and how brave Shadowsight had been in pinning him in place.

Ivypool NEEDS Dovewing to know now that she's different. She's learned a lot. She understands so, so much more now...

But DOES she? She still hates Heartstar's guts. She still feels abandoned. How different ARE you now, Ivypool, with your renewed interest in finding some petty reason to skirt around Dovewing's direct wishes? When you're still here getting into blowout arguments with Heartstar?

So to answer the question, if Dovewing told her directly, "I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR DESPERATION. IM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR FEELINGS. PISS OFF"

Ivypool would not be able to accept that.

It just wouldn't stick, ever. It really is desperation. Dovewing NEEDS to know that Ivypool loves her and misses her, and that she understands, but also that Heartstar is delusional, and this is still kind of Dovewing's fault. And Ivypool will do anything to make her know this.

But I also DO want to say; this is a very unique weakness. It is Dovewing Derangement Syndrome. Ivypool is a competent deputy, and she is a devoted and respected warrior of ThunderClan. It will be no surprise she's being picked for deputy, especially considering (god willing) Squirrelstar is seeking war with ShadowClan.

She is a good friend, mate, and leader. But BB!Ivypool is so, so fucked in the head about Dovewing. This family can fit so much trauma in it

#BB!Ivypool #Better bones au #BB!OOTS #bb!TBC #BB!Dovewing #BB!Heartstar #Ivy is both a victim and a perpetrator. I do have sympathy for her #Which I think is what really makes this so juicy #But your pain doesn't mean you get to have whatever you want #Or even whatever you think you need #I think it's hard to explain it because it's not logical AT ALL #It's a boiling soup of strong and desperate emotions that Ivy has not unpacked #And how can you even? SO much has happened to Ivy #So many awful and DIFFERENT things #I want to study her #For the record btw I am on Dovewing's side in this conflict tho lmaoooooooo #Dovewing I'm so sorry. It's extremely fun watching Ivypool try to break into your house to rearrange your fridge magnets to say 'TALK TO ME #You deserve better. But I cant look away. #Dovewing is trying so hard to become a background character it's hysterical #Girl you are in the Main Character Family (for bb at least) you are not allowed to have a peaceful life with your beautiful wife

[theguardianace]

it should be illegal to feel like this on your birthday

#i really loved my morning i got such nice gifts from my mom #and it was nice to just have a morning off #but that was honestly the worst class i’ve ever been in #i was trying to talk to my professor but my voice sounded so off #i’m so stressed bc i’m so behind i don’t know what to do it’s not clear at ALL #i think he’s assuming everyone’s done something like this but it’s not true!! i’m a sophomore and everyone else is a junior or senior #and i was trying to hard not to break down and i think i made it #but now i’m in my room and i need everyone to shut up #i want to take a shower to calm down but i can’t bc my roomate is here and she knows i already took one today #and i don’t like that i’m 20 i’m scared of growing up #and im homesick im always homesick in the back of my heart #i just want a hug honestly

[slumbergoblin]

Hi Mei :)

#pmatga #my art #pmatga oc #mei lián #“I have been drawing Mei.” #“What?” #“I have done nothing but draw Mei for 3 days.” #well- it's when she was in her 30s^^;; #also when she and Betrayus were first interacting! Betrayus initially did not like her! #he wasn't used to someone actively trying to seek out and get to know him. so he was just his usual #“grr I don't like talking to new people and I'm always grumpy blah blah blah” <- paraphrasing #I really need to just. write everything I can about her down and then just slap it here because I feel like I haven't conveyed who #she really is and how she acts as a character. I feel like she's still too empty on a surface level in my drawings #but in my head she's /way/ more fleshed out #like she's an engineer. she has 3 younger siblings. she's a hard worker (to the point where even betrayus tells her to take breaks). #she's the person who makes betrayus open up and see the world in a better light! she had such a huge influence on him and helped him grow! #I just don't want her to be 'this is betrayus's wife! and that's it!' you know? I /need/ there to be more #but alas. it is hard for me to write u_u #uuuoohh I forgot I have to draw her motorcycle too..... uwwahhh... #also notes: I didn't draw her shoes on the full-body on the left. and I didn't actually 'color' her clothing on the full-body on the right #I grey-scaled it. but never went through with coloring it

[petit-papillion]

Charles karting at the Pista dei Campioni near Porto Cervo

Charles competed in an evening session alongside seven other participants, including his brother Arthur, who is three years his junior. To increase the difficulties, the Ferrari driver started from last position. The result? Not only was he already in the lead on the first lap, but the comeback took place in four corners. At the close of the initial pass, Leclerc had a significant lead over the rest of the competition. Then, as if the showdown offered at the start weren't enough, the Monegasque continued to lap times unattainable for the others, triumphing solo in front of his younger brother.

Source: La Gazetta dello Sport | 13 August 2023

Watch him race:

#not even trying that hard and still passing a bunch of people in the first turn #we really need some karting for gtg #that would be so much fun #charles leclerc #arthur leclerc #karting #2023 f1 summer break #Youtube

[vitamin-zeeth]

experiencing fhjy while currently being in the equivalent of junior year is so. Yeah that's what it's like that's how school treats you that's how I'm feeling RIGHT NOW. I love how perfectly accurate it is and I also hate it so much because they don't deserve to go through this shit

#like fuck man #im currently fucking struggling through school clawing my way to exams so i can stop dealing with all this bullshit and have a life #and i cannot WAIT until its over cause next years gonna be the chillest #but fuckin hell man some of these moments #adaine struggling cause the school just won't provide the resources she needs. fabian dealing with a 150% workload + ecs. #kristen being genuinely gifted but finding the paperwork so awful that her grades are plummeting. #gorgug being told he cant do what he wants to do because they want to keep him focusing on the path he chose when he was 14. #riz trying to keep his friends together because if they separate he doesnt know what hed do #ough #kristen especially is resonating with me HARD her entire energy is so fucking relatable rn #its giving burnout its giving tired undiagnosed teenager its giving doesnt know wtf theyre doing #shes strongly considering dropping out but then looking back and going FUUUCK I KNOW I GOTTA JUST PUSH THROUGH #shes hating the work its making enjoying the subject harder shes needing a break and nobodys willing to give her one #shes so me this year actually. realest ever I'll defend her til i DIE #d20 #fhjy

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

#I am so burnt out yall #idk how much more I can take #Im trying really hard #and its never enough #and I just.. need a break #idk what to do #Idk what Im doing with this post #I am just griping into the void I guess #personal

[kvothbloodless]

#gwitch #witch from mercury #gundum #I need yall to know there were like #at least 5 different screenshots i took #trying to decide which to use #you Can pinpoint the second when her heart breaks #its just that it happens multiple times in succession so its hard to choose #Side Note: her big speech and confession of love for miorine getting interrupted by Aerial just shutting down #was THE funniest scene in any media ever #in a gut wrenchingly sad kind of way

[dollya-robinprotector]

So yeah the b-day girl can't afford to have time drawing for herself but wanna celebrate nonetheless. So let's throw back this full-color piece I did last year and be proud of it once more!

I achieved a lot of things this year, and even though I'd never had enough tolerance to love this weak and hopeless self, just for today I will give me a word of encouragement and a hug for all the achievements that I had to struggle to achieve.

For only one day let's hope I'll be gentle with myself, to brace myself for another year of struggle to come.

✨✨ Cheer! ✨✨

#Non dol posting #ask box will have to wait more I'm hella busy now I collapsed at work 2 days ago so I can't draw to answer just yet #I do want to draw Lya and Robin and DoL soon they're like my comfort zone #this site is my comfort zone #if only we don't have to try so hard just to keep on living #existential crisis every birthday #every year #every month #it's like a curse #why do I live #jk #jk jk jk #need to draw some dol soon or I'll have break down again #being sad is exhausted I cant be sad #I have to make more money #and keep going #keep living #yeah