#its STILL got neil just on the outskirts........ always still there.....always overshadowing and like. eventually taking over.

[biillys]

and you— you were happy.

#top one most heartbreaking scenes in the world....................... #m #gifs #billyhargroveedit #needed a break from trying to make palette sets and Colour Specific Gifs for billy week work and somehow thought /this/ would relax me?????? #now im just fucking SAD #billy hargrove #its the WAY u can see him like. fucking PHYSICALLY reacting #to when el says 'she was pretty' #like he's fighting with himself SO HARD to like. #OKAY NO LISTEN! its the way that when el ventured into his head the first time #she saw him. on the beach #with his mumma. grinning from ear to fucking ear #but surrounded with The Neil Of IT All still #like even his happiest memories where clouded with neil #so like. even when billy retreats into his head- into his HAPPY place #its STILL got neil just on the outskirts........ always still there.....always overshadowing and like. eventually taking over. #so el!!!!!!! when el fucking looks up at him!!!!!!!!! crying and begging!!!!!!!!!! she just!!!!!!!!!!! #she brings forward all those memories!!!!!!!! except she cuts neil out!!!!!!!!!!!!!! focusing on his mum!!!!!!!!!!! #highlighting every single fucking detail!!!!!!!!!! that billy can never focus on!!!!! because even his happiest memory isn't safe #and els just like!!!!!! the wave was seven feet!!! u told her it was seven feet!!! and there was sand in her shoes!!! and she was pretty!!! #she was really pretty!!!!! and you WERE HAPPY. #the way billy fucking breaks??? after she says 'she was pretty' #and then the way his face Does That and he nods along with 'she was REALLY pretty' #then the 'and you- you were Happy.' part #like #i fukcing WISH i died instead