[ Look at my DNI before interacting with my blog, please ]
[ Transformers Animated, cybertronian!reader ]
Reader: How's the most beautiful bot in the universe doing?
Optimus: *smiling* I don't know, how are you?
Reader: *voice glitching* I'm fine.
[Alternate ending]
Reader: How's the most beautiful bot in the universe doing?
Optimus: *smiling* I don't know, how ar-
Bumblebee, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks.
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Shockwave, upgrading Megatron: Now, most sparks couldn’t withstand this voltage, but i’m fairly certain your spark…
Shockwave: *performs counter-shock, Megatron’s spark explodes*
Megatron: What was that noise?
Shockwave, hiding exploded spark: The sound of progress, my liege.
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Perceptor: How does one turn off their emotions?
Wheeljack: Okay, first, go to settings.
Wheeljack:
Wheeljack: I’m a fucking idiot, I thought you said emojis.
Perceptor: No, I’m still willing to try this, go ahead. I’m at settings, what do I do next?
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Earthspark Megatron: Who's in charge here?
TFA Megatron, shrugging: Usually whoever yells the loudest.
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beez
Tfa Bee: Hand me the people opener.
Tfe Bee: …
Tfe Bee: Pardon?
Tfa Bee, annoyed: The g! Just hand it to me!
Tfe Bee, stressed: WHAT THE FUCK IS A PEOPLE OPENER?
Tfa Bee: How do you not know what a people opener is? Its pointy- you know? With a handle?
Tfe Bee: Knife. It's called a knife.
Tfa Bee: See, the problem is, other me, you’re playing 3D chess. I’m playing 4D.
G1 Bee: I’m playing checkers. I don’t know what the fuck you’re playing.
Cyberverse Bee: I don’t know the first thing about clothes. Pretty much all I can do is look at something and tell you if it’s clothes or not. This chair? Not clothes.
Tfa Bee: Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée".
Cyberverse Bee: I really like Eminem.
Tfa Bee: I prefer skittles.
Tfe Bee: They are talking about the rapper.
Tfa Bee: Why would they eat the wrapper?
Tfe Bee: The risk I took was calculated but, man, am I bad at math.
Tfe Bee: The salary of a clown is 51,000 dollars.
Tfe Bee, gesturing to G1 Bee and Tfa Bee fighting: And yet these idiots do it daily, and for free!
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Sari and bee driving
Sari: ok so shockwave and sentinel are in the road what do you hit?
Bee: oh definitely sentinel-
Sari: THE BRAKES BEE THE BRAKES
-------------------------------------------------
Optimus:* was on coms with bee* no no Sari, let him speed up
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Rodimus: To everyone who wrote "stay cool" in my Autobot Academy yearbook… I have some devastating news
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Optimus: *gets lost in the multiverse by accident*
Megatron at the Decepticons and Autobots: WHICH ONE OF YOU IDIOTS DID THIS?
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Starscream: Look who's acting like a big fragging hero? Careful what you say, Shockwave. Wouldn't want your little secret getting out, would we?
Shockwave: I don't care anymore!
Bumblebee: Shock?
Starscream: Because if you let leave him, I could tell every bot here that you-
Shockwave: What? That I love him? Well, I do!
Vehicons: I knew it!
(The Vehicons updating their social accounts and telling each other that Shockbee is real.)
Starscream: Oh. Uh, scrap. Ah, you dirty glitch.
(Starscream gets close to Shockwave and Bumblebee's personal space.)
Starscream: You are gonna regret revealing that, Shock. (Flies out of there while laughing.)
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Newsreporter: Currently, the young bot is continuing to climb up the pole!
Newsreporter: He's managed to climb about five or six stories up the building!
Ratchet: Slaggit, there are reckless idiots out this early?
Bumblebee, from the TV: Hey!
Ratchet: By the Allspark, it's OUR idiot—
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[ Transformers Animated, cybertronian!reader ]
*at a zoo*
Reader: What are they in for?
Sari: Reader, this isn't prison.
Prowl: So they can leave?
Sari: No, but-
Bumblebee, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.
[ Look at my DNI before interacting with my blog, please ]
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Shockwave: Don't worry. I have logic... just no morals.
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Starscream: Not evil anymore. I want to be loved now.
*Shortly after*
Starscream: Nevermind, evil again.
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TFA Optimus: Okay just let me get this straight.
TFA Optimus: You’re training to become rescue bots?
RBA Hotshot: Sure are.
TFA Bumblebee: At an academy?
RBA Whirl: Yep.
TFA Bulkhead: On Earth?
RBA Hoist: Mhm.
TFA Blackarachnia: Without any rigorous combat training?
RBA Wedge: Yeah?
TFA Ratchet: And you’ve been learning about how to be rescue bots without any inhumane military-grade teaching methods from any douchebag boot camp instructors?
RBA Medix: Correct.
…
TFA Ghost Prowl: Wow.
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