Megatron: Rodimus we’re being chased by a whole planet.
Rodimus: Who gives a s*** anyways—hold up—
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Shockwave, upgrading Megatron: Now, most sparks couldn’t withstand this voltage, but i’m fairly certain your spark…
Shockwave: *performs counter-shock, Megatron’s spark explodes*
Megatron: What was that noise?
Shockwave, hiding exploded spark: The sound of progress, my liege.
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Autocracy Summary
Rodimus: Hey do you know why I joined the Autobots?
Drift: Because you met Optimus?
Rodimus: Not completely, no.
Rodimus: Because I met Megatron.
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Brainstorm: Percy doesn’t need to be a sniper to be intimidating. His mind is intimidating enough.
Brainstorm: …
Brainstorm: But being a sniper sure does help.
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SCENE - RATCHET & FIRST AID talking as they work together to reattach RODIMUS'S arm
FIRST AID: I mean how many mechs can a grumpy overworked medic have dated?
RATCHET: 56.
FIRST AID: What.
RATCHET: I had about 56 lovers. Of course that was before the war. I probably would have had more but once I started running the clinic and got promoted to Head Medic I had bigger concerns.
FIRST AID: 56? 56?
RODIMUS: Oh, Primus. This is amazing. I have never been so glad to be injured.
FIRST AID: What do you mean you had 56 lovers?! You told me you hadn't ever fully interfaced until Drift! He was your first serious relationship!
RATCHET: You can see someone without going straight to swapping cables, popping panels, or flashing you Spark, kid.
FIRST AID: No you can't!
RATCHET & FIRST AID: (stare at each other)
FIRST AID: If that were true Ratchet–that would–that would mean you were a slut.
RODIMUS: (exaggerated gasp) Aid!
RODIMUS: How can you say that! So RATCHET had 56 lovers in a single orn. He isn’t a slut.
RATCHET: (eyes him distrustfully)
RODIMUS: (catches his gaze and grins) He is THE Slut. He is the Prime of all Sluts. The Party Ambulance that always rides at the end of the night. He is the easiest mech in this room.
FIRST AID: You take that back.
RODIMUS: THE SLUTS (gestures to himself and FIRST AID, grinning widely) ARE DEAD LONG LIVE THE PARTY AMBULANCE!
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Transformers Earthspark incorrect quote text posts [part five]
Enjoy! :)
Bonus! :
(I made a couple of IDW Thundercracker & Buster ones, plus a TFA Blitzbee one as these also reminded me of them!)
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Tarantulas: It’s going to get weird... I’m going to make this weird.
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IDW Megatron, exasperated: I’d like to live through a week that’s not a whole new verse of “Who Started the Fire.”
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Whirl: fuck you my child is completely fine
Rung: Your child reads classic literature for fun
Whirl:
Whirl Jr., reading Charlotte Brontë: I kill people to
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Starscream: Who hates Decepticons more than the Autobots?
Rattrap: The neutrals?
Starscream: No. Guess again.
Rattrap: Organics? The Galactic Council? Everyone else in the universe?
Starscream: No. It’s Megatron.
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