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everhaunts · 1 year

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DEFNE KARAHAN // visitor

“dear reader, burn all the files, desert all your past lives. and if you don't recognize yourself, that means you did it right." – dear reader by taylor swift

(afra saraçoğlu) [THE WANDERER]. Please welcome [DEFNE KARAHAN (SHE/HER)] to Huntsville, WV. They are an [27]-year-old [VISITOR] who lives in [TOWN]. You may see them around working as a [UNEMPLOYED]. Poor unfortunate soul. We’ll see if they survive.

name: defne karahan face claim: afra saraçoğlu pronouns & gender: she/her & cis woman age: 27 height: five foot five hair color: brown eye color: green birthdate: july 13th zodiac sign: cancer orientation: bisexual, biromantic

hometown: safranbolu, turkey current residence: huntsville, west virginia (a few months) occupation: unemployed

moral alignment: true neutral vice & virtue: envy & diligence hogwarts house: gryffindor element: water enneagram: 5w6? mbti: INTJ character inspo(s): thea queen (arrow), hayley marshall (the originals), mona vanderwaal (pretty little liars), raven reyes (the 100), elizabeth keen (the blacklist) traits: cautious, independent, reserved, stubborn, resourceful, empathetic languages: turkish, arabic, english

“i remember years ago, someone told me I should take caution when it comes to love, i did.” – impossible by shontelle

BIOGRAPHY (tw death mention, child birth death mention, alcoholism)

A town in Turkey was where Defne was born, but her mother passed shortly after giving birth and so she was raised by her father.

Her father wasn’t someone who was necessarily fit to raise a child, and Defne grew up being used to him drinking a lot, picking fights with people, getting fired from jobs multiple times.

She gradually became the caretaker of the house, and of him.

He ended up passing away and Defne was left having to navigate life alone even though she was barely out of her teenage years.

Despite everything, that had still been her father and so his passing effected her. So she latched on to a guy who was her now ex-boyfriend.

He wasn't the best influence, though they were together for a few years. But Defne finally broke things off, realizing she needed to focus more on herself.

Doing a few odd jobs here and there, she eventually saved up enough to leave Turkey, wanting to see what else the world held. Traveled around for years before coming to the USA.

A road trip on an old bike eventually led her to West Virginia, where she was just aimlessly driving before getting to a fork in the road. She went right, landing her in Huntsville.

Defne has only been in town for a few months, still in shock over the implications that she and everyone else are apparently trapped.

She’s currently unemployed, not really sure if she wants to get a job yet since she’s still in the denial mode of being stuck in Huntsville.

(*** the bio insinuates defne was an only child but i am open to her having older siblings! so wcs maybe)

"but lately, her face seems slowly sinking, wasting, crumbling like pastries. and they scream, the worst things in life come free to us." – the a team by ed sheeran

SONG INSPOS dear reader by taylor swift the a team by ed sheeran impossible by shontelle nothing new by taylor swift & phoebe bridgers breakaway by kelly clarkson

#huntsvilleintro #defne introduction #death mention tw

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menstits · 5 months

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Penus wenus

The other day i met a different gynecologist because my period has been delayed and out of whack again and like. I mentioned that the previous gynecologist i saw said that i likely have pcos and after the checkup and shit she was like yeah you definitely have pcos and went on to say that like... It's just a thing i have that i was born with as much as having brown eyes is and that like the way in which i decide to handle it is up to me and idk. That really stuck with me like both my mom and the previous gynecologist kept talking about me potentially having pcos with like a mixture of pity and disgust so having a doctor show like basic respect and decency to me about it was almost surprising and like. I'm not saying that having pcos made me trans because that's a ludicrous claim obviously but i feel like having an intersex hormonal condition did affect the way i navigated gender way before it even became an issue or i knew that i had it because like. I HAVE had multiple pcos symptoms throughout my puberty especially like body and facial hair that i got relentlessly mocked for as a teenager but it only became like An Issue when my period randomly didn't happen for 5 months straight cause that's kinda concerning in itself but whatever about that like i just feel like years and years of failing at being a girl by virtue of being intersex probably did play a part in me realizing i didn't HAVE to try and fail at this and that there were other options. Like idk i have a bit of a confusing relationship with gender like i feel secure in the fact that I'm a guy & labels like nonbinary or bigender don't really describe me either but I'm also . Shaped by having grown up as an undiagnosed intersex girlthing as well. And to some degree it does still sting that i was doomed to fail at performing gender how it was expected from me from the start and it does also sting to have some weird kind of dysphoria both ways like 🧍‍♂️ I'm happy and comfortable as a guy and I don't even dislike like... Having more body and facial hair either really it's actually a trait i like. It's more like the knowledge that when i choose to be a gnc trans guy I can't do it the way someone who doesn't have some kind of hormonal condition can and the knowledge that a lot of the things i got mocked about throughout my life were literally outside of my control and just like . 🧍‍♂️

#🗨️#pcos talk once again

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officecyborg · 2 years

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I was wondering how the hell SPY INTRIGUE came in twenty-ninth place in IF Comp that year, but “that year” was 2015, which had a bajillion entries including Birdland, Sub Rosa, Midnight. Swordfight., Cape, Laid Off From the Synesthesia Factory... so, stiff competition. I still feel like it deserves more recognition though, what an amazing, ambitious piece of writing. it’s so unique it’s hard to articulate what it does well, but here are some of the things I liked about it:

themes about autism/neurodivergence and what it feels like to try and navigate the world when you don’t have a sense of empathy

extremely interesting painting-the-fourth-wall ways of portraying PTSD hypervigilance

the ways in which it deliberately makes itself difficult to play for narrative effect (interface screw, perpetually changing mechanics)

the ways in which it encourages you to go for “bad endings” to see more content, and how as a gameplay mechanic that underscores the main character’s fatalism

the main character is transgender, and also their own individual with a specific backstory (so, not a reader insert) but nonetheless their name, appearance, and gender are technically never specified, which seems like a deliberate riff on genre assumptions about playing a sort of faceless gender-neutral protagonist. also tied in well with the way they feel “disembodied” in their own life.

themes about pets saving your life (while also letting that relationship be difficult and sometimes painful)

playing on the differences between hypertext and text parser interfaces

also just, startlingly good prose, one of the bits about the cat made me tear up.

overall reminded me of the good bits of Homestuck and Virtue’s Last Reward, while also being its own completely original, indefinable thing. there were some routes that I didn’t seem to be able to get no matter what I did, so there might be some content I missed (wish the author had social media so I could ask!) but nonetheless, huge recommend

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qhaqhaprojects · 1 year

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Birth of the Mother

I often think about motherhood as an abstract idea, void of gender or even the body. The people who give birth to us may not inherently be our mothers, they may be more like vessels for us to incarnate into this reality. Having the person who gives birth to you, also become your mother makes it easier to navigate this existence. I think deep in our hearts we know who is worthy of the title of motherhood, and sometimes that may not be our biological mothers.

I have also come to perceive motherhood as a spirit that a person chooses to possess, whether one accepts it or not, is solely up to themselves. Because of this context, motherhood therefore is a choice.

I have experienced the love of a mother from firstly my own, and from women who mother other children, women who do not have any children, people who do not identify as women, as well as nature itself. Motherhood is warm, life-giving, nurturing, protective, passionate, patient, and loving. Who are we to assign a specific socialised body and gender to these virtues?

At some point we all are affected by motherhood, in its presence or absence. If you have been asked, 'do you want a baby?', 'why don't you have a baby?', 'when are you having a baby?', then these are ways in which motherhood is 'expected' of you. People often feel entitled to such a sacred and deeply personal experience, as if the pregnancy process is shared. Choosing to be a mother is a unique process on its own, because as much as most people get pregnant, or become parents, no one else gets to carry the baby or nurture it like you do. The child being carried is also a unique little human being whose experience belongs to them. Pregnancy is experienced by billions of humans, however, in this shared experience, everyone's path is individualised to them. Just like how every mother is different, yet their love seems to come from the same universal source.

With these paintings I imagined my own journey with motherhood as an abstract idea or spirit. I often wonder if I chose my mother before I incarnated into this world. And if so, why her? What does she have to teach me?...And if I ever were to be chosen by a little human, I would hope to learn why they chose me to be their mother. I believe that the answers to these questions lie within the relationship dynamics we form with our mothers, and moreso, the meanings we make out of them.

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vonkarma2 · 1 year

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cirillo for the oc ask?

remember this ask? no? that’s because it’s from 3 years ago. let it never be said I don’t answer every ask, eventually. the draft has been in my Google docs for so long haunting me lmao so I decided to get it done

B A S I C S

full name: Cirillo an Avarre (formerly Cirillo Toscani)

gender: male (transgender)

sexuality: straight

pronouns: he/him

O T H E R S

family: right now, none, considering he was disowned a few years ago. Before then he had various shitty relatives in a very large family of nobility that like 1) ran a huge worldwide company 2) participated in national government. Not close at all personally, more like frustrated coworkers than a regular extended family. His parents weren’t actively bad but they were absent most of the time and both had absolutely no interest in raising children, only having had them in the first place because they basically kinda had to. Culture very focused on continuing the family legacy + keeping it strong, as well as competition both within the family and with other ones. Ofc he had his sister Laura, the two of them were very close as children and drifted apart a little as they got older and had very different interests, and then drifted apart hard when Cirillo got promoted and kept selling out to literally anyone who asked. So she got him disowned and also hates him now. At the start of the main story

birthplace: avarrecia, living in a like fancy mansion estate in the middle of the countryside. lots of rolling hills probably a vineyard. very obnoxious. to be fair though he didn’t much care for it he preferred the cities they would go visit (usually within the country, but sometimes internationally)

job: at the start of the story he’s an old timey telephone switchboard operator, but he quits that very early on to be Rocio’s assistant (it’s officially recognized + he gets paid directly by the government, wizards have people like this all the time). They need one not for like menial grunt work which they love doing but for like, basic communication and interaction with other people. Sometimes advanced interaction. They want to get around both the office politics and actual politics they’re stuck navigating). This was not a wise financial decision for him as the government collapsed like 2 months later so now after the story ends he is unemployed. He can’t even come crawling back to his family because they lost all their money in an unrelated but similarly dramatic incident

phobias: nothing in particular, unless this just means like general fears? he’s afraid of nebulously being a bad person (

guilty pleasures: anything that makes him feel joy at all is a guilty pleasure. he could feel guilty about anything. someone could be like ugh it’s so cloudy today and he’d be like fuck I can’t believe let them down 😔

M O R A L S

morality alignment?: lawful good

sins - lust/greed/gluttony/sloth/pride/envy/wrath

virtues - chastity/charity/diligence/humility/kindness/patience/justice

T H I S - O R - T H A T

introvert/extrovert: extrovert if he goes like, 4 hours without talking to someone he feels like he’s about to die

organized/disorganized: meticulously writes down important things so he doesn’t forget, but other than that is actually pretty disorganized, when he was younger he was used to other people cleaning up for him and so now that he’s older and that doesn’t apply anymore he just doesn’t care lol

close minded/open-minded: open-minded, he would be friends with you if you killed someone in front of him he is ok with most things or at least willing to forgive them. If you’re not a bad person and you’re just like weird or something then he wouldn’t care in the slightest

calm/anxious: anxious

disagreeable/agreeable: agreeable, he has never started a fight in his life. whenever someone argues with him his first instinct is to appease them by whatever means necessary and he has to actively consciously fight against that impulse

cautious/reckless: cautious, sometimes he tries to appear reckless but he’s basically always thinking things through as much as he can. that doesn’t mean he comes to the right conclusions though lol

patient/impatient: patient, but this one’s because he tries not to expect anything from anyone or like the situation in general I guess? he tries to always keep his expectations low, so he wouldn’t get mad waiting for anything

outspoken/reserved: for someone who talks a lot he is actually pretty reserved about personal information (unless he thinks the person he’s talking to needs to hear it, like so he can relate to them or something) and his own

leader/follower: you can probably guess by now lmao. He’s never made his own decisions in his entire life

empathetic/unempathetic: some of these questions are so obvious for the character in question I feel like I’m talking down to the audience answering them in like the most obvious way. empathetic what do you want from me

optimistic/pessimistic: weird mix of both, I’d say optimistic overall and believes that everything will turn out alright in the end in general, but does

traditional/modern: modern for sure, although in this world the concept of that is kind of different, especially since he moved to a different country where the culture and concept of modernity is very different from in his home country. but he likes modern fashion styles, modern technology, tries to get invested in progressive politics + like new societal ideas. he thinks everything in the world can and should be improved in some way. To be clear, he doesn’t blindly support every newly introduced idea obviously this is like. the general trend

hard-working/lazy: despite his best efforts he does not have much of a work ethic for things he is not interested in, but of course if it’s necessary or it literally anyone is there to potentially judge him he’ll do it, so he ends up being hardworking most of the time. but literally only because of peer pressure. and he’ll internally hate every second of whatever it is he’s doing. it’s kind of pathetic it’s because he grew up incredibly like catered to I guess. has few to no life skills. he’s working on it

#it’s a fun template shame I probably couldn’t find the original lol #my ocs #cirillo an avarre #I feel so bad I made him sound like such a loser in thjs and honestly he kind of IS but he has good qualities too #he gets cooler over time I swear #thanks for sending this sorry for the 3 years wait aha

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bardic-tales · 2 months

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3.3.24

Day 2: Part 2: Describe your protagonists

This one took me a few days to figure out. Unlike Kayla, I had a rough idea of who I wanted Alexander to be in this WIP and how he will play out in the resulting books, specifically with events surrounding the prophecy.

Alexander Michael Augustus Maloney Knight-Commander | Saint Michael

Basics

Age: Timeless

Date of Birth: 3rd Day of Creation

Place of Birth: Kingdom of God

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Demisexual

Species: Celestial Being

Race / Subspecies: Archangel

Weight: 207 pounds

Height: 6’3”

Measurements: 46-36-16

Complexion: Fair

Eye Color: Brown

Hair Color: Long Brown Hair

Handedness: Right-hand dominant, but he is able to use both hands.

Ethnic Group: Celestial with cultural elements reflecting his earthly presence in Ireland.

Family

Marital Status: Single

Spouse(s)/Partner(s): Kayla Winters

Children: TBD

Biological Father: The Creator (God)

Siblings: Abaddon, Asmodeus, Azrael, Barachiel, Beelzebub, Belial, Ezekiel, Gabriel, Leviathan, Lucifer, Mammon, Raphael, Sealthiel, Uriel (Peter), Zachariel, the Seraphim, and the Cherubim

Social

Citizenship: Irish

Social Status: Respected and esteemed within the military and the broader community. He is known for his leadership and integrity, but he maintains a low-profile social life to conceal his true identity

Job/Career: Military leader and commander of the Sovereign Military Order of Divvik

Position/Role: Knight-Commander of the Sovereign Military Order of Divvik

Rank: As Knight-Commander, he holds the highest rank within the Military Order of Divvik, overseeing its operations, strategies, and members.

Physical Description

Alexander Maloney has long, chestnut-brown hair that cascades in gentle waves. The locks rest against the midpoint of his back. He has piercing blue eyes with thick eyelashes. He stands 6’3” and weighs 207 pounds. His features are very chiseled. Alexander does not have any facial hair.

Wings Alexander Maloney's wings unfurl with a commanding grace, stretching to a formidable span of fifteen feet, their snowy white plumage reflect his purity and ethereal beauty. He has to manifest the wings. They will burst from his back when he does.

His true form has six wings.

Clothing: Alexander wears a navy-blue wool sweater. He wears a pair of white slacks. He wears a thick, black leather belt. On his right arm, he wears a golden watch as well as a golden belt buckle. He also wears a charcoal gray pea coat that stops at the middle of his thighs.

Aegis - Short Sword Aegis is the angelic 2.5 foot short sword of Alexander. It silver-white blade embodies purity and divine purpose. The blade has Enochian lettering etched down the blade, itself. It’s pommel and cross guard is compose of a gold metal. The gripped is wrapped in a cream-white leather that squeaks when he grips it. Alexander can ignite the sword with blue flames when he runs his hands over the blade. Aegis is a beacon of hope against darkness.

Personality

Lawful Good | Leo | INFJ | Type 1: The Reformer Fatal Flaw: Sacrifice

Alexander's personality is characterized by unwavering resolve and dedication to his mission, blending determination with a sense of duty. He has an aura of wisdom and authority, tempered by humility and compassion for those under his guidance. Possessing a keen intellect and strategic acumen, he navigates the complexities of celestial and mortal realms with grace and foresight. He strives to uphold the principles of justice and righteousness. As a military leader, he maintains a stoic demeanor, rarely revealing his emotions, yet his actions speak volumes of his commitment to his and the Creator’s cause. Despite the weight of his responsibilities pressing down upon his shoulders and the yoke of a prophecy, Alexander remains steadfast in his commitment to protecting humanity. He embodies the virtues of selflessness, integrity, and unwavering faith in the face of overwhelming adversity.

Likes: Astronomy, Classical literature, Meditation in solitude, Stargazing

Dislikes: Deception, Discord, Laziness, Unjust acts

Hobbies: Calligraphy, Swordsmanship training, Tending to a garden of flora

Unique Quirks: Maintains a meticulously organized collection of antique weaponry from different historical periods, Practices a daily ritual of sunrise meditation regardless of his location or duties, Adheres strictly to a regimented diet and exercise routine, even in the midst of chaotic situations

Personal History

Alexander Maloney, originally known as Michael, emerged on the third day of Creation, crafted by the hand of the Creator alongside his celestial brethren. He wielded Aegis, his celestial blade, in the battle against Lucifer and the rebel forces, securing victory and banishing the fallen angels to the depths of Hell.

Descending from Heaven after the Heavenly War, Alexander, now assuming mortal guise, received a divine mandate to safeguard humanity from Lucifer's influence and watch for the seals to break that would herald the Apocalypse. Under the name Alexander Maloney, he founded Knights Templar and eventually the Sovereign Military Order of Divvik, training prophets and knights to detect and combat demonic forces alongside his trusted second-in-command, Peter.

Amidst his duties, Alexander became ensnared in a prophecy foretelling a union with Kayla, a young prophet whom he saved from being taken by Lucifer’s demons and destined to play a vital role. Despite the prophecy's ominous implications, Alexander prioritized duty over personal desires, navigating the complexities of his feelings while remaining steadfast in his commitment to protect Kayla and fulfill his divine mission.

Throughout his journey, Alexander grappled with conflicting emotions, torn between his duty to the Order and his burgeoning feelings for Kayla. Despite his inner turmoil, he remained resolute in his vow to protect her, keeping the prophecy hidden to shield her from its ominous implications.

As Kayla grew into her role within the Order, Alexander's resolve was tested, his unwavering dedication to humanity and the greater good shaping his path of sacrifice and selflessness.

#originals #original stories #original writing #writers on tumblr #original works #writeblr #writeblr original #characters: pandemonix #oc: alexander maloney #pandemonix #wip: pandemonix #the leviathan method #leviathan method #day 2: protagonists #bardic tales #bardic-tales

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noir-wanderer · 10 months

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“Welcome, to my seven hells.”

This is a sub-blog dedicated to my FFXIV Viera muse, Yiuno Reine (and his twin sister, Yiuna). All follows, likes and asks will originate from my main account, @why-raven.

ALTER-EGO STAR SYSTEM.

This blog showcases both the lore-compliant and AU versions of Yiuno—from FFXIV and beyond into other fandoms, to even original settings. All of Yiuno’s “doppelgängers” are collectively called Alter Egos, or Alters for short. However…

On gender identity and sexual orientation, this often changes depending on the verse that Yiuno appears in. Be it a shapeshifter struggling with gender fluidity, or a crossdresser challenging the boundaries of social norms, there are also instances where his masc and femme forms exist as two distinctly different characters. These are mainly used for character studies and experimental writing, to explore the LGBTQ+ world within a fictional setting. As such, I may not conform to “politically correct” definitions, and I do not care about your opinions on these matters.

NOT SPOILER-FREE.

I do not, and will not, use spoiler tags in this blog. I tag my posts solely for the purpose of organizing my contents, and I curate my own space as I see fit. It’s a moot point for me to further complicate a hobby with unnecessary tag clutter.

That being said, all latest patch contents still follow the general community guideline of a two-week spoiler blackout before going live.

SPORADIC UPDATES.

This blog runs on an irregular queue. My presence on Tumblr is usually erratic at best—I have a demanding real-life job, a myriad of family responsibilities, and static commitments as a high-end content raider. I honestly don’t have much time and energy to chase after rapid community trends when I should be getting more sleep.

“Interested? Read on to find out more…”

“The antonym of love isn’t hate. It’s indifference.”

An adventurer by day, and an assassin by night—Yiuno Reine is an enigmatic Viera who walks along the blurred line of light and darkness. From the politically righteous Grand Companies to the unknown depths of the Eorzean underworld, Yiuno will work for anyone for the right price, especially if the job aligns with his personal agendas. However, the dangerous secrets that have slept within him for so long will become the key to the fate of the world… once more.

“Desire is a sin born from humanity’s instinct to survive.”

Many adventurers would have dipped a toe or two into the Eozean underworld during their long journeys; those enticed by the promise to fulfill their desires would exchange their virtues for riches, sinking themselves into the violent hellscape beneath the façade of peace and prosperity. Toxic masculinity ruled this chaotic world with brute strength, while they exploit femininity to charge their own libido. However, not all women are willing to bow down to such prejudiced savagery—Yiune Rei is an assassin who seduces her male targets with her beauty before she seals their fate in the silence of the night (or so the rumors say). Very few would live to learn about the shocking truth of this graceful lady of death… for “she” is actually a man under the glamorous mask. What compels him to exact his own brand of justice in such an unorthodox way? Is there more to this curious killing spree under the bleeding moon of Etheirys?

LFRP — OPEN.

For a limited time, I am open to only 1-2 players interested in creating intricate stories with Yiuno. Do read the LFRP post first (see link above) before approaching me.

I am no longer seeking roleplay contacts; all my partner slots are currently full. However, you are still free to send me writing prompts or approach me to chat about your muses. I love reading about everyone’s characters and learning something new about them.

“Run all you can, for there’s nowhere to hide.”

All my blogs use very specific themes for their respective tag systems. To help you navigate through the twists and turns in Yiuno’s mind labyrinth, all main categories are in French, based around the word noir (en. “black”). Further breakdowns are also used for clarity purposes. Tags preceded by dashes (--) are not included. These tags are often used as personal notes only.

PERSONAL — CHAMBRE NOIRE.

In the deepest part of the claustrophobic maze, there lies a chamber where the faceless puppeteer lives. They control this troubled soul from within, dictating what you need and don’t need to know about him.

info — pinned | lfrp | updates

WRITING — REQUIEM NOIR.

No one knows where the song of requiem comes from; it echoes throughout the labyrinth with such sadness, such rage… such joy that the colors of changing emotions would briefly light up the dark walls with a splash of his past across different worlds.

general — isorawrites | otherwrites

events — ffxivwrite | ffxivswaps

VERSES — MURMURE NOIR.

Hushed whispers resonate beneath the requiem, seeping into the music with their own notes. Sometimes they compliment the main verse and the song grows into a majestic fanfare; other times they twist the melody and phase into a different scene with playful staccatos.

verse — chronogenesis | forgotten past | future past | unknown | carnivals

rp — misadventures

au — yorha | sherlock | assassins | witches

ANSWERS — RUMEUR NOIRE.

Rumors may float around the maze, tickling you with curiosity and amusement. What do you know about this man of mystery? Is he a man… or a woman, or more? Ask to find out more, but beware: only one truth is hidden amongst lies of nine.

community — memes answers | quiz results | tag games

general — ask replies

GPOSE — MIROIR NOIR.

Mirrors reflect not just the light we see, but also the shadow beneath the blinding brilliance. Only the purest of souls would view the reflection as it is, while most others are clouded by the mist of their deepest and darkest desires.

scenery | comics | cosplay | nude (nsfw)

AESTHETICS — ACADEMIA NOIR.

A library, by definition, is a collection of multimedia items. From books to films, these records are kept together and organized systematically for reference and research purposes. Here, it is where these information are archived as inspirations to study the rich history of Yiuno’s immortal life.

quote | musique (my translations)

gallery — scenery | wardrobe | item

MISC — BALLADE NOIRE.

After countless wrong turns and life-threatening traps, you spot a figure in the middle of a crossroad. Approaching the person cautiously, you realize they are a bard playing a sad song on their broken harp. A ballad for your end…

abstract

“It takes two hands to clap.”

My ships rarely follow mainstream trends—I prefer slow-burn dynamics that build up into something complex and unique to each pair. I always believe that human relationships go far and beyond mere romance and sex, and I aim to explore them with the various couples listed below.

CANON — NPC.

bibliomantiques — yiuno x y’shtola | chronogenesis.

shenanigans — yiune x emanellain | chronogenesis.

bromantiques — yiuno & estinien | chronogenesis.

nethermantiques — emet-selch x persephone | forgotten past.

ORIGINAL — MINE & PC.

wandermantiques — sora amariyo x yiuno reine | chronogenesis.

misadventurers — yiuno reine & aisa yoto | misadventures.

AU — MULTIVERSE.

murdermantiques — sora holmes x yiune watson | sherlock.

espermantiques — ena (sora) x dio (yiuno) | phantoms.

“Going somewhere? Where is the end?”

Close to the end of your nightmare in this twisted labyrinth, a rabbit hole stops you from reaching your goal—your gateway to freedom. As you ponder about a solution to overcome this obstacle before you, a scarier thought flashes across your mind: why not try jumping into this swirling darkness and sink deeper into the unknown?

TUMBLR — BLOGS I MANAGE.

nigerrimus noctis — @why-raven. All follows, likes, and asks will come from this main account. Personal blog, multi-fandom, center hub for all my sub-blogs. Certified sarcastic at times.

la tempête d’argent — @silver-tempest. (18+, minors DNI.) Character and aesthetics blog featuring, Sora Amariyo, a Xaela Warrior of Darkness. By extension, may include some content related to her older brother from Sherlock AU, Syndrei Holmes.

chronogenesis — @isorawrites. A writing blog that mainly focuses on the world of FFXIV, with sprinkles of crossovers into other fandoms.

etheiryscape — @xivacademia. A personal gpose gallery owned and curated by yours truly. All showcased screenshots are achievable with vanilla items and emotes in game. Very clean, very SFW, and no nonsense.

a snitch in time — @ravenael. A writing blog for academia-related fandoms and Western-based media, such as Percy Jackson & the Olympians, Teen Titans, etc. (Work in progress.)

work in progress — @tsurrific. Under construction. Come back later.

ELSEWHERE — EXTERNAL LINKS.

AO3 — isorawrites | ravenael | tsurrific. You can find reprints of my fan works on Archive of Our Own, organized by pen names depending on the fandoms I was writing for.

Ko-fi — whyraven. If you like my content, please do support me on Ko-fi. Your donations are very much appreciated!

“Give credit where credit is due.”

Do not claim or repost any part of this blog as your own. Please give proper credit to the rightful owners.

All other fandoms belong to their respective copyright holders. I only own creativity I put into my works. See this page on desktop version for full disclaimers.

#chambre noire.#noir; pinned #-- pinned; info / tags / links #-- updated; 2024.05.02 #-- wip

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switchcase · 2 years

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for those that are questioning if they may possibly have DID/OSDD:

normal, nondisordered causes of memory "gaps/loss":

stressful/traumatic situations, regular inattention, boredom, insignificant details (eg, not remembering specifics about someone you don't interact with often), aging especially in regard to normal childhood amnesia.

conditions that cause memory gaps/loss:

C/PTSD, low vitamin B12 or B1 levels, depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizo spectrum disorders, all other conditions with symptoms of psychosis, sleep issues and disorders, malnutrition, migraines, chronic pain conditions, ADHD, autism, thyroid issues, medications like allergy meds and antidepressants, drug use including alcohol/tobacco, brain injuries, aging, neurological conditions, seizures, cancer, HIV, alzheimer's (including early onset), tumors, as a result of asphyxiation, dissociative amnesia as its own diagnosis, dissociation in general, etc.

normal, nondisordered identity-related confusion:

having different sides of yourself (everyone is a multifaceted person by virtue of being older than a toddler), figuring out your gender/sexuality, teenage brain development, society-related issues such as navigating multiple marginalized identities, age-related (eg, midife crisis), career/disability/hobby-related, stressors, big life changes, etc.

conditions that cause identity disturbance/confusion:

depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, C/PTSD, BPD, most personality disorders, brain injuries, sleep disorders, neurological conditions, schizo spectrum disorders, all other conditions with psychosis, autism, ADHD, cancer, alzheimer's, dementia, seizures, tumors, certain medications, dissociative disorders like DPDR, etc.

this isn't me saying you have to individually look at each potential cause before coming to the conclusion of DID/OSDD (although if you suspect certain physical or mental conditions it is a good idea to get a differential diagnosis done/do a rule out). it is also not me saying self evaluation of your own symptoms is bad. and by virtue of these causes being named, it is not an invalidation of experience. but it IS me saying there are a ton of things that cause symptoms that can appear to be similar to DID especially if you don't know what the differences and similarities are with DID vs other conditions. especially because many of these experiences have overlap with more than just one symptom of DID. so having certain experiences does not automatically mean that you have DID/OSDD, and keeping an open mind in regard to your experiences is a good idea. especially if the main reason why you think you might have DID have to do with the more sensationalized aspects that honestly do not represent the reality of the disorder as a whole

#dissociative identity disorder #actuallydissociative #.log #posted from drafts

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kaleidoscopic-quiddity · 2 years

Text

gonna be honest i lowkey don’t like using the word ‘transgender’ to describe myself at this point, like idk maybe this is because i’m Chronically Online TM or whatever but i feel like the term ‘transgender’ carries like,, so many implications about someone’s political stance and how they view themselves, or that just being trans is a political identity in and of itself, and like fair enough if that’s how it feels for other people but like,, that’s definitely not how it is for me. i view myself more as just some dude who happens to be afab, my being trans has fuck all to do with my political stances, my personality, or my personal preferences. like i am literally Just Some Guy. the issue here isn't that i’m ashamed of the term ‘trans’ or feel that its literal definition doesn’t apply to me any more, it definitely does, but more so that i hate how just one singular word is used to imply so much about who someone is as a person and their relationship with gender, whereas a term like ‘blonde man’ literally just tells you that someone is a man and is blonde.

like as far as i’m concerned i have no ~special~ relationship with masculinity, my gender is identical to that of a cis guy’s in the way that a blonde guy and a ginger guy are both guys, and thus the same gender. and the only reason i have ‘relationship’, (if it can be called that), to femininity at all is because i was socialised as a girl for roughly 14 years. and if i’m honestly, femininity means nothing to me in the sense that it doesn't apply to me at all nor do i have any desire to partake in it, or be perceived as someone who posses the quality of femininity. not to say that men cant be feminine, or that femininity is an undesirable trait, neither of those things are true at all, but rather just that i hold no connection to femininity at all, other than an understanding of what it is like to be socialised as somebody possessing that trait, and i feel like these days ppl who are defined as trans men are expected to have this complex, possibly resentful, possibly nostalgic relationship with it and are also perceived as like, being men, but being men in a different way from the way cis men are men, which is honestly fucking infuriating to me because i’m just a man, period, and my being trans doesn’t actually affect how i’m a man because i just am.

to me the word ‘trans’ should imply just as much about somebody’s relationship to gender as the word ‘brunette’, which is to say, absolutely nothing other than that they are a person of a particular gender who also happens to posses a particular superficial trait, but it doesn’t. instead, ‘transgender’ is used as a shorthand to imply a whole lot of complex gender shit, or that ppl who are trans are actually a somewhat different ‘type’ of male or female than ppl who are cis, and as someone who absolutely none of that is true for, it makes using the term ‘trans’ as a self descriptor really fucking annoying. like i said, i view myself as Literally Just Some Guy who also just so happens to be someone who was assigned female at birth, which doesn’t actually mean very much in regards to my relationship with gender, because i’d be a man in the exact same way if i just so happened to be someone who was assigned male at birth. i don’t have any special relationship with masculinity or femininity by virtue of being trans, nor do i feel that i navigate my gender identity differently from that of a cis guy or that my gender is inherently different from that of a cis guy’s, and i definitely dont consider my gender to have a bond with or encapsulate or overlap with femininity in any way.

as fucking dumb of an oxymoron as it is, ‘cis man who happens to be afab’ honestly feels like a better description of my gender than ‘transgender man’ because of the way i feel that the term ‘trans’ has been warped by online spaces and irl political discourse. like, trans masculinity is meaningless to me in the sense that i don’t feel that it’s any different from cis masculinity. or rather, i dont feel that there are such separate things as ‘trans masculinity’ and ‘cis masculinity’. men are men, women are women, enbies are enbies, yknow? things like ‘trans’ and ‘cis’ are just vague descriptors that don’t actually mean anything in regards to gender identity and self-image, (as well as political leanings, personality traits, etc) in the same way that ‘blonde’ and ‘brunette’ don’t tell you anything actually important about someone’s gender identity. i just dont feel, that im my own particular personal circumstances, that there’s actually any valid distinction to be made between ‘trans’ manhood and ‘cis’ manhood, male-ness is just male-ness in and of itself.

#transgender #trans man #trans male #ftm #transmasc #transmasculine #obvi if other trans ppl DO feel that their gender is different from cis ppl's thats totally fine #ppl are free to feel however they want. and to describe themselves however they want.#and i recognise that gender can be a very VERY complex thing for ppl for a whole bunch of reasons #and like also im navigating gender from an essentially white perspective #my understanding of masculinity is that of white colonial binary masculinity #which is easy for ME to navigate but i completely respect how it's a majorly complex thing to ppl belonging to other cultures/races/etc #or something that they dont wish to partake in or have a relationship to at all #theres no one singular platonic ideal of masculinity. nor does all gender exist in relation to the western gender binary #tldr: gender is complex for a lot of ppl and whilst i totally respect that. it isnt for me #and i wish the word 'trans' wasnt taken to inherently imply said complexity #because that complexity doesnt actually apply to every trans person #og post //#cis ppl can rb but no commentary #non transmascs can rb but no clowning #also ngl this also goes for me vis a vi sexuality #my bi/pan-ness and aro-ness mean. like. fuck all past a superficial level #they are not political identities nor personality defining traits for me #theyre just words to describe how i happen to enjoy navigating sex and romance

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fedonciadale · 3 years

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Sansa does not threaten patriarchy like Dany. Unlike Arya,Brienne &Asha, Sansa is a gender conformist. She does not navigate difficulties of ruling like Cersei and Arianne who are feminine yet have to rebel against the social structure imposed in Westeros . In short Sansa is the embodiment of non intersectional white femininism that preaches about "purity", "conformism" and lays out the check boxes that entails an ideal Westerosi woman .

Sorry, not sorry. Any woman in a position of power threatens patriarchy.

Any woman in a patriarch society faces the same disadvantage of being ridiculed, not taken seriously, overruled. No woman ‘wins’ in patriarchy, not even the feminine women who happen to fulfill some of the ideals men impose on them - and you can clearly see this in Sansa’s chapters. And if you think that Sansa’s experience - that she did all that is expected of a lady and yet it did not help her at all - will not influence how she sees her role in the future, think again.

On the contrary, you could even argue that women who accept that the male coded virtues are ‘better’, women who are ‘not like other girls’, women who internalize misogyny like Cersei, these are the women who are more easily accepted within the male circles of power because they do not threaten the idea, that male behaviour is superior. They try to get power for themselves by ‘conforming’ to male coded behaviour. This is not the individualism ‘not like other girls’ type of women think it is.

By accepting women with ‘male behaviour’ as their almost social equal, men strengthen patriarchy. It’s an old method really. Allow some of the disadvantaged people to climb the ladder. They will all the more fiercely protect their own position. In my own career the person who was acting the most misogynistic towards me was a woman who had ‘made it’. Women will never get over that if they do not accept that the range of women is as colourful and diverse as that of men.

Sansa is feminine woman - which is not the same as a gender conformist, although there are overlaps. She is about to learn that there are different ways for women. She’s already met Mya Stone. She will find her own unique way of ruling without becoming “Aegon with tits” like Dany or “Tywin with tits” like Cersei. Sansa will be Sansa.

She might even become a feminist, in the sense that she’ll work for gender equality, but as things are now, she is not (as is no woman in the series - working to improve your own position is not feminism, even if you’re a woman. Nevertheless I am sure that she’ll go down into history of Westeros not as the woman with ‘manly virtues’ who ruled ‘as good as a man’, but that she will rule in her own style - and that might do more for women in charge than anything any of the other women did. I doubt that her reign will fall under the category of ‘purity’ or ‘conformism’.

It’s so ridiculous to me that you would claim that Sansa is a non intersectional white feminist when Dany - who uses poc to raise herself, who thinks disdainful about anyone who is not a Targ or of the Blood of Valyria in her own PoV - is right there. Sry, not sry, there is your ‘white ferminist’ (although she isn’t a feminist either, but white feminism is no real feminism, because feminism is about equality for all). The ‘mhysa’ raised on the backs of poc. It cannot be more clear than that.

No thanks for the ask, my dear confused Sansabut!

#anon ask #Sansa Stark #Sansa Stark defence squad #Feminism #faux feminism #White feminism #Not like other girls

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michaels-blackhat · 3 years

Note

thoughts on evil Forrest 😈

We are going to start out by apologizing. This is very very late. I’m sure when you sent this ask, you meant it to be in the same joking tone that I approach all of my other propaganda posts. Sadly, this is actually going to be a deep dive into a few Evil Forrest related things, including the moment I feel they changed directions, the perfect wasted build-up, and the implications of the change/how it then negatively impacted the story. As I’m sure you already know, by being on my blog at all, I don’t think the story was good to begin with, so we are going to focus on the weird hoops they made themselves jump through to make that story still work. Additionally, I am only going to mention once, right now, how much of a waste it was to not have Forrest ‘fall for his mark’ and complete one of my absolute favorite tropes. Honestly, I think “because I want it” is a completely valid reason to like Evil Forrest. But, the question was “Thoughts on Evil Forrest” and these thoughts have been developing for over a year and a half. So, I apologize in advance.

The majority of this is under a cut, with highlights in the abstract. If no one wants to read this, I understand completely. Go ahead, skip it.

Note: it pains me greatly to not actually have full sources for this essay. Just know that in my heart I am using proper APA citations, I just absolutely do not feel like digging through tweets to find sources to properly cite.

Abstract:

Previous research indicates that Roswell New Mexico has a history of repeating excuses to explain mid-season changes to plots. This essay explores how those excuses are not only loads of crap, but how they hinder the show’s ability to tell a coherent story, misuse the multiple-plot structure to enhance the themes being explored, and lead to decisions that mean the show continuously goes over budget. This also means that characters are not used to their full potential and has led to what some fans consider to be “out of character” behaviors. While these behaviors are not universally agreed on, evidence can be shown that these behaviors directly contradict emotionally important character arc/plot points in the show.

The author of this paper acknowledges that the show took some strides to mend this problem. However, once again no consensus could be found on whether Forrest was a low-level member of Deep Sky and thus just allowed to fuck off on a bus, or his job was recruitment because he did a piss poor job of making Alex not join.

The concept of Evil Forrest has been with the fandom as early as New York Comic Con (NYCC) in 2019, when it was revealed that Alex had a new “blue-haired love interest”. Speculation abounded within the fandom, with some people, including the author, going “yeah, he’s evil” while others rejoiced in the concept of Alex having a loving partner. Speculation increased as fans discussed Tyler Blackburn’s seeming disinterest in his new love interest, prompting some once again to scream “EVIL” at the top of their lungs to anyone who would listen. Very little was revealed, beyond the fact that the new character would show up somewhere around episode 3 of the second season.

Episode 2.04 aired with some commenting on how he barely interacted with Alex- prompting more evil speculation- and others excited to see the characters interact more. The character appears again in 2.06, where he invites Alex to dubious spoken word poetry (which Alex attends); 2.08, where they have a paintball date and go to The Wild Pony; 2.10, where the two are seen writing together briefly at the beginning of the episode; and 2.13, where Alex performs his song at open mic night, tells Forrest his relationship with the person in the song was long over, and they kiss. Forrest was not revealed to be evil during season 2.

Amidst the season airing, Word of God via Twitter post announced that yes, Forrest had originally been planned as a villain, though not the main villain, but it was changed as filming progressed.

The Word of God Twitter post revealed that Forrest had originally been planned as a villain, but they decided that they could not make their “blue-haired gay man” a villain. This mirrors a similar situation and excuse used the previous season, where the character of Jenna Cameron was originally planned to work with Jesse Manes against the aliens, before it was changed because they just “loved Riley [the actress] too much”. Both of these examples occurred while already filming and reflect on a larger problem with the show. Though not the topic of this essay, it is important to note that both characters are white, both in the show and by virtue of being played by white actors. The fact that they couldn’t be villains for one reason or another is not a courtesy extended to the male villains who are all the most visibly brown, and thus ‘other’, members of the cast.

This also highlights the fact that, via Twitter, it has been revealed two other times that occurrences that were reported in season 1 also occurred in season 2. During the airing of episode 1.02, it was revealed that the single best build-up of tension in the show- when Alex walks to the Airstream not saying a word to Michael after a dramatic declaration- happened because one actor was sick at the time and they had to go back and film the kisses later. At the point of airing for episode 2.08, it was revealed that one of the actors were sick and unable to film a kissing scene. Allegedly, this caused the writers to retool the entire scene and deviate from the plan to make that subplot about Coming Out. The execution of this subplot will be explored later in this essay.

The last occurrence revealed via Twitter also revealed larger issues within the show: lack of planning and poor budgeting. During the airing of season 1, Tyler Blackburn was needed for an extra episode beyond his contracted 10. A full explanation was never given, but speculation about poor planning and to fill in because Heather Hemmens had to miss one of her 10 episodes due to scheduling conflicts for another project. During the airing of season 2, yet another tweet came out saying they made a mistake and Tyler would once again be in an additional episode. No explanations beyond “a mistake” were given, though once again speculation occurred. It is the opinion of the author that this was due to changing plot points over halfway through writing, while episodes were already in production. It has been speculated by some that these changes occurred during the writing of 2.08, which was being finished/pre-production was occurring roughly around the time of NYCC 2019.

Previous Literature:

A brief look at different theories of plots and subplots

Many people have written on the subject of plotting, for novels and screen alike. The author is more familiar with film writing than tv, but a lot of the concepts carry over. Largely, the B- and C- (and D- and E-… etc) plots should reinforce the theme of the A-plot. This can be through the use of a negative example, where the antithesis of the theme is explored to reinforce the theme presented by the A plot, or through other examples of the theme, generally on a small scale.

A movie example of this would be Hidden Figures (2016), where the A-plot explores how race and gender impact the main character (Katherine Johnson) in her new job. The B-plots explore the other characters navigating the same concepts in different settings and ways- learning a new skill as to not become obsolete and breaking boundaries there (Dorothy Vaugn) and being the first black woman to complete a specific degree program and the fight it took to get there (Mary Jackson). A TV example that utilizes this concept of plot and theme is the 911 shows. Each of the rescues in a given episode will directly relate to the overall theme of the episode and the overall plot for the focus character. This example is extremely blunt. It does not use any tools to hide the connection, to the point you can often guess the outcome for that A-plot fairly quickly.

This is not the only way to explore themes within visual media. Moonlight (2016) looks at three timestamps in the life of Chiron. Each timestamp has a plot even if they feel more like individual scenes or moments rather than plots as some are more used to in films. Each time stamp deals with rejection, isolation, connection, and acceptance in different ways. So while there is no clear A-, B-, or C-Plot, each time stamp works as their own A-Plot to explore the themes in a variety of ways, particularly by starting out in a place of rejection and moving to acceptance or a place of connection to isolation.

Please note that there are many ways to write multiple plots, there are just two examples.

While there are flaws within season 1 of RNM, overall the themes stayed consistent throughout the season, mainly the theme of alienation. The theme threads through the Alien’s isolation/alienation from humanity which is particularly seen through Michael’s unwillingness to participate and Isobel’s over participation. There is Rosa’s isolation from others, how her friendship with “Isobel” ended up compounding her existing alienation from her support system due to her mental illness and coping mechanisms. We see how Max and Liz couldn’t make connections. This theme presented itself over and over in season 1. While this essay is not an exploration of the breakdown of themes in season 2, it should be noted that there were some threads that followed throughout the season. The theme of mothers/motherhood was woven throughout season 2, with some elements more effective than others. Please contact the author for additional thoughts on Helena Ortecho and revenge plots.

One of the largest problems within season 2 was the sheer number of plots jammed into the season. These plot threads often ended up hindering the effectiveness of the themes and made the coherence of the season suffer. Additionally, a lot of them were convoluted and difficult to follow.

Thesis:

Essentially, season 2 was a mess. To look at it holistically is almost an exercise in futility. Either you grow angry about the dropped plots and premises, you hand wave them off, or you fill them in for yourself. Instead, this essay proposes to look at individual elements to explain why Forrest should have stayed evil.

We first meet Forrest in 2.04 when he is introduced on the Long Family Farm, which we later learn was the location where our past alien protagonists had their final standoff. He’s introduced. He’s largely just there. The audience learns he has more of a history with Michael. In 2.06, we meet him again with his dog Buffy (note: poor Buffy has not been seen again and we miss a chunky queen). There’s mild flirting, Alex is invited to an open mic night, which he attends. For the purpose of this essay, the author’s thoughts on the poetry will not be expressed. Readers can take a guess.

It is after this point that the author speculates the Decision was made. This choice to make Forrest not evil- paired with the aforementioned ‘can’t kiss, someone’s sick’- impacted the plot. We have Alex have a scene with his father- which the author believes could have been pushed to a different episode- and then have Alex go on a date and then not kiss Forrest at the end of the night. Here, the audience sees Forrest hit Alex in the leg, allegedly not knowing he had lost his leg despite ‘looking him up’, which parallels the shot to the leg that happens to Charlie. Besides wasting this ABSOLUTELY TEXTBOOK SET UP WTF, it also takes Alex away from the main plot and then forces a new plot for him. Up to this point, Alex’s plot was discovering more about the crash and his family’s involvement. Turning Alex’s date from a setup for evil Forrest to a Coming Out story adds yet another plot thread to a packed season. It is also the author’s thought that this is where the convoluted kidnapping plot comes in. With Forrest already in 2.10 for a moment, a plot where Alex is evil has Forrest attack him for Deep Sky rather than Jesse abduct him for a piece of alien glass Alex was going to give him anyway and then for Flint to abduct Alex from Jesse. It’s messy. In a bad way. Evil Forrest would have been a cleaner set up: no taking back a piece of alien glass Alex gave to Michael in a touching moment. No double abduction. Instead, there is only Forrest, who Alex trusts, breaking that trust to take him as leverage over Michael.

Implications:

Now, Alex has two plots (Tripp & Coming Out). The Coming Out plot is largely ineffective, as they are only relevant to scenes with Forrest and have the undercurrent of there only being a certain acceptable way to be out. This could have been used for Alex to discover his comfort levels, mirroring Isobel’s self discovery, but there was not enough screen time for that. Additionally, Isobel’s coming out story was about her allowing herself the freedom to explore. Alex’s story was about the freedom to… act like this dude wanted him to. Alex’s internalized homophobia played out often in the series but it was also informed by the violence he experienced at Jesse’s hands and the literal hate crime he and his high school boyfriend experienced. With that in mind, the “kissing to piss off bigots” line comes off poorly. This is a character who experienced what a pissed off bigot could do- reluctance to kiss in public is not the same as not being out. There is more to be said on this topic, but as it is not actually the focus of the essay, it will be put on hold. To surmise: Alex’s coming out is attempted to be framed as being himself, but it is actually the conformity to someone else’s ideals. It does not work as an antithetical to Isobel’s story, as the framing indicates that the conformity/right was to be out contradicts Isobel’s theme.

Further Research:

MAKE FORREST EVIL YOU COWARDS

Author Acknowledgements:

The author of this paper acknowledges that the show took some strides to mend this problem. However, once again no consensus could be found on whether Forrest was a low-level member of Deep Sky and thus just allowed to fuck off on a bus, or his job was recruitement because he did a piss poor job of making Alex not join.

#anti forrest long #i guess #evil forrest propaganda #I asked and no one said don't post it so...#here it is #I started writing this roughly 7 months ago

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mbti-notes · 3 years

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Hi MBTI. Not type related but I still want to ask because of your social insight. What does respect mean to you? I’ve met people who preach feminism but do not communicate honestly and clearly with girls they sleep around with (eg ghosting), which makes me think that feminism is just political theory, but in practice it means to truly respect other people regardless of their gender (ie being honest, clear and able to put ones anxieties/insecurities aside momentarily to ensure the well-being of

[con't: the other person). I asked myself exactly what respect entails, it’s a concept Ive taken for granted and thought I knew but realized I’ve never actually read/heard someone really putting into words. I’ve been reading online and a lot of people seem to muddle it with the word “admiration” and I think I disagree because I think respect is more about being open to sharing common ground and not placing someone above or below you, as admiration could cause. To me respect and equality are more similar, and that’s how I linked it to feminism. How would you define respect? And what do you think about this? Thank you and all the best!<3 ]

You're mixing several issues together, which makes your question too complicated. Respect and making moral judgments are big enough topics without adding gender into the mix.

I remember once, a long time ago, I was grappling with a difficult moral dilemma. I approached a few people to talk about it. One person judged me as "incompetent" because the matter seemed quite easy in their mind. One person judged me as "weak" because I wasn't willing to just do what I wanted to do. One person judged me as "fake" because they thought I was only worried about appearing like a moral person in the eyes of others. One person judged me as "selfish" because I wasn't willing to sacrifice myself for the greater good. One person judged me as "overthinking" the matter because I was worried about more than just myself.

Of course, not being assholes, their judgments came out as veiled implications rather than direct criticisms. However, this example reveals some truth: People's moral judgments are often quite egocentric, a mere reflection of their own subjective ego conflicts about what it means to be a "good" or "bad" person. Whichever way they choose to conceptualize morality is what they expect of others (i.e. projection).

We all have to make moral judgments and navigate difficult moral situations. One thing that significantly influences people's ability to make good moral decisions is their level of ego development, you can read more about it in the Type Dev Guide. Suffice it to ask: Is your conception of morality more rule-based (i.e. about the power to judge) or more virtue-based (i.e. about the wisdom to do right)?

The more egocentric someone is, the more invested they are in maintaining a positive self-image, and the more sensitive they are to any data that would threaten their ego and suggest that they are a "bad" person. Egocentric people are more likely to use a rule-based approach to morality because its starkness and simplicity allow for easy detection and deflection of ego threats. If morality is a simple matter of knowing the rules of right and wrong, then moral judgments are a simple matter of whether people followed the rules.

For example, society says that you should work hard in school, get a good job, earn money, and your reward is that you are able to afford your life. Therefore, if you didn't succeed in school, you didn't get a good job, you can't earn much money, you can't afford the things you need, then there is something "wrong" with you. In short, you failed to follow the rules, so you deserve to be punished with the negative consequence of poverty. Rule-based morality is "safe" for the ego because there's no ambiguity that makes you doubt your moral judgment, and hence no reason to doubt your own moral worth.

People often talk about whether someone "deserves" respect, often because they want to make an argument that someone doesn't deserve respect for something bad they did. The more "admirable" someone is, the more respect they deserve? I will respect this person because they are "nice"? I will not extend respect to that person because they are "mean"?

If you approach respect with these "rules", you essentially get to play god. You get to sit on a high horse and judge people as worthy or unworthy. If you obey the rules of being an "admirable" person, you are called a "good" person, so you get rewarded with respect; whereas if you disobey the rules, you are a "bad" person, so you get punished with less respect or even disrespect. This way of thinking is rather childish. Notice how kids argue that they don't have to follow the rules when they see someone else breaking the rules. Their idea of morality boils down to whether they themselves win or lose.

Children, understandably, think in stark terms of reward and punishment because they are only starting to learn what it means to be an "acceptable" member of society. They only see what's on the surface because they aren't yet capable of more sophisticated moral reasoning. When an adult hasn't learned more sophisticated moral reasoning, they continue with the superficial idea of reward and punishment, only they take it further. Now that they are "adult" by society's superficial age standard, they possess the social status and thus the social power to dole out rewards and punishments to anyone "beneath" them in status. In essence, "I was subject to the rules as a child, and now I get to enforce the rules as an adult."

Adding gender into the mix, a lot of people abide by "rules" that they learned in childhood about what a "man" is, what a "woman" is, how they are different, and how people "should" behave according to their gender. Men, as a social group, are taught to obey one set of rules, while women, as a social group, are taught to obey another set of rules. This social conditioning shows up in people's implicit gender biases as well as outright gender discrimination.

If men, as a group, possess the majority of social power and privilege, they become the default reference point for everyone. Social and political decisions are predominantly made from their point of view, in accordance with their needs and desires, and this encourages them to treat women as objects that are only worthy of respect as long as they prop up masculine power. Women, as a group, are taught to see the world through the masculine perspective and believe that masculinity is superior to femininity, so they must behave submissively and serve their purpose to men.

As an individual man, if you follow the rules and elevate masculinity over femininity, you get rewarded with status and power. If you don't follow the rules, you get punished with lower status and being branded as undesirable (not a "real" man). As a woman, if you follow the rules and elevate masculinity over femininity, you get rewarded with some privilege and favors, but always safely within the bounds of masculine dominance. If you don't follow the rules, you get cruelly shamed into compliance and even ostracized if you are deemed a lost cause (not a "real" woman).

It is very difficult for individuals to counter social conditioning because so much of the learning happens unconsciously. It's a steep uphill battle for people to develop more self-awareness about the "rules" they have been taught to follow. And even when one becomes aware of having implicit biases or prejudices, it's not easy to rise above them. It takes a lot of conscious effort to go against lessons that were ingrained into your psyche since infancy. Furthermore, when you're a member of the social group that enjoys more power and privilege, there's very little incentive for you to change, in fact, you have much more incentive to preserve the status quo, which is why inequality is so difficult to remedy.

The unconscious nature of bias and prejudice is why ego development is very important. When you reach higher levels of ego development, your self-awareness grows, and that allows you to gradually shift from a simplistic rule-based morality to a more complex virtue-based morality which recognizes that moral issues aren't always black-and-white. Virtue-based morality is about what's actually in people's hearts and the role that moral conscience plays in decision making.

Taking the example from above: WHY did the person fail in school? Was it simply because they didn't follow the rules and work as hard as they should have? Or was it due to factors that were beyond their control, such as: an untreated learning disability, lack of school funding due to living in a poor area, a dysfunctional family situation that interfered with their learning process, etc?

Rule-based morality is about compliance and shaming people into the appearance of compliance. Virtue-based morality is about understanding and addressing the root causes of moral failing. To be capable of more complex moral reasoning is to dig deeper and ask more questions to get to the truth, which means that morality is no longer a simple matter. The gray areas start to appear, you start to see exceptions to the rule, and you become more empathetic because you're looking into people's hearts and seeing how they have suffered unfairly. You no longer stereotype and generalize about people but treat everyone as a unique individual with unique circumstances to take into account. Egocentric people don't want this level of moral responsibility because then they'd have to always question themselves about whether they are truly doing the right thing, and they would constantly have to confront the many ways they fall short in their morality.

When you truly see the harm of judging people by superficial appearances, you would never want to be a victim of it, and that helps you understand that you shouldn't be a perpetrator of it, either. When you truly see the harm of treating people unfairly based on gender, you would never want to be a victim of it, and that helps you understand that you shouldn't be a perpetrator of it, either. When you're able to empathize with people who were treated unfairly or victimized by unjust rules, you can't help but want to make things fairer for everyone (yes, equality). Virtue-based morality is about moral conscience in terms of what kind of person you hope to be, what kind of influence you want to have, what kind of society you want to live in, and whether you are actually a virtuous person in your heart rather than just appearing like one in public. When you show respect to people, it's not because they "deserve" it, it's because you know that you being respectful to everyone is the first step in helping to create a society that is more respectful to everyone.

#morality #moral development #moral philosophy #respect #virtue #rules #gender #egocentrism #empathy #ask

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kabbalicgay · 3 years

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Don't reblog this because really this should be put more articulately by a TMA person but it really does not escape me that most te.rf and those "kick the t out of LG.B" people recycle gender and bio essentialism that comes almost word for word out of white supremacist circles. Like, the "obvious characteristics" of trans women they look for are, 9 times out of 10, just not white and non European features, like hair distribution or the width of shoulder or fucking "masculine noses and facial structure", as if this ain't the type of shit I've seen thrown at Jewish women, at Blak and Black women, at any and all non European and Colonised women in order to dehumanise them. & it also doesn't escape me that these fools have the same stringent "men will ALWAYS be like this and women will ALWAYS be like this" attitude that conservatives and white supremacists have; it's the same gospel spilled by different mouths & yes, it IS inherent to their ideology. You cannot separate the colonialist and white supremacy from t.er.f or related ideology. You also cannot know and understand both the history of LGBT communities as well as the history of gender and sexuality in Colonised culture and history and then turn around and advocate for trans people to be kicked out of LGBT spaces (and quite frankly I don't think these people even interact with irl LGBT spaces because blah blah blah being cis passing isn't a virtue we should strive for whatever BUT I know multiple trans men and trans women who navigate LGBT spaces looking as passable as a cis person, and being desired just like a cis person without issues coming up - so how are you going to say some shit like "oh yeah trans gay men and trans lesbians are just straight people forcing gays and lesbians into heterosexuality" when quite frankly these people not only have a higher and more intimate interaction with the community than the majority of y'all dedicating whole fucking blogs to this shit, but ALSO are happily desired and functioning within gay and lesbian circles with no problem lmao).

All of this is to say I simply do not take these people seriously because if I wanted to re-colonise my mind and body I'd find an easier way to do it than listen to the 10th Coloniser with a tumblr blog lecture me about teh evil trans rights activists

#again a reiteration: this post isn't rebloggable but like you can reply or send asks or whatever I don't care #capain's log #Darcy don't look

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queermediastudies · 4 years

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Blurring The Lines of Gender In Sally Potter's Orlando

Sally Potter’s 1993 film adaptation of Virginia Woolf’s classic novel Orlando follows the narrative of gender ambiguous aristocrat and poet Orlando. Potter efficiently tackles Woolf’s other worldly plotline, in which her hero(ine) lives as both man and woman over the course of 400 hundred years. Potter’s reimagined version of Woolf’s fictitious, gender-bending world, highlights the disparity between men and women, along with the fluidity and performativity of gender itself.

The cast plays a role in both Potter and Wolf’s attempt at highlighting gender performativity. Orlando is played by actress Tilda Swinton who is noted for her androgynous appearance and capacity to play roles of ambiguous gender. In a movie review of the film by the Slant, the author address Swinton’s ability to inhabit these differing roles: “Of course, it’s less than shocking to say that Swinton—by now America’s favorite androgyne—slips effortlessly into the role of the titular male nobleman who awakens halfway through the film to find himself a woman”. Swinton’s character experiences an inexplicable change in gender, as Orlando wakes up in 17th century England in the body of a woman. This scene follows Orlando from her bed (which is often the identifier for a lap in time), to her mirror wherein she turns toward her now female body. With a brief examination of her reflection she says “Same person. No difference at all. Just a different sex.”

This scene is perhaps the most illuminative in terms of Potter’s message of gender performativity. As Butler states in her acclaimed work “Performative Acts and Gender Constitution”: “Gender is in no way a stable identity or locus of agency from which various acts proceed; rather, it is an identity tenuously constituted in time // an identity instituted through a stylized repetition of acts” (Butler 520). This film, similarly to Butler’s claims of gender as a notion of socialization and adaptation to fulfil certain modes of behavior and presentation, poses a definitive question regarding the validity of gender constructs. Further Butler speaks to the assumed value and connotative notion toward the body and the way it is presented: “Gender is instituted through the stylization of the body and, hence, must be understood as the mundane way in which bodily gestures, movements, and enactments of various kinds constitute the illusion of an abiding gender” (Butler 520). Orlando’s character is ageless, and thus changes very little throughout the film, aside from the way in which the character performs gender, making this distinction all the more blatant. Costume plays an integral role in how the audience is able to track Orlando’s gender. In the first portion of the film he presents quintessentially masculine for the time he is in, however there is a looming femininity about him.

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After the first laps in time, while Orlando is working in Constantinople, his appearance slowly becomes more feminized although he continues to be identified as male.

Potter perpetuates this questioning of Orlando’s gender via the way he is able to perform it, and the ways in which such performance fluctuates. As a woman, her dress and way of conducting herself is indicative of “womanliness”, and yet she vacillates in her capacity to “do gender.

In a scene amongst famous poets and writers of the time, Orlando struggles with the notion of what constitutes womanly behavior. As the men speak to the predominate assumption of gender roles at the time, Orlando struggles to comprehend why such rigidity would be placed on anyone purely on the basis of sex. The poets iterate conceptions of public verses private spheres of existence, masculine persuits of intellectualism, worldliness and achievement in contrast to the womanly persuits of home, society and virtue.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRFbanBfadU

https://images.app.goo.gl/DU5fcTCxvXcfKWDt6

She again flounders with the perception of proper feminine behavior, when proposed to by Archduke Harry. In his proposition he warns her of the inevitable fall into destitution and ruin if she is to refuse his proposal. Particuarly because knowledge of her being a man and then a woman is commonly acknowledged within English high society. She does however refuse him, preceded by another laps in time to the Victorian era.

As a man Orlando also struggles in his ability to inhabit “manly” ways of being. He is emotional, gentle and does not be inclined to take up heroic aims. There is however, a clear critique on the way in which he is able to move through the world more seamlessly as a man comparative to the characters time spent as a woman. In a brief scene of Orlando walking through a long hallway dressed in Georgian era women’s clothing, this difficulty is covertly expressed. Her large and overwhelming hoop skirt makes the navigation of a simple task like walking through a hallway seem absurdly difficult.”. In Andersson’s work on Queer Media, she discussed both the notion of identity as an ever-evolving “production” contingent upon one’s positioning: “In the same way identity is said to be marked out by difference, that is by what it is not. Instead of thinking of identity as “an already accomplished fact” identity is seen as a “production, which is never complete, always in process, and always constituted within, not outside, representation” (Andersson 2002). Potter expresses the differentiation in gender presentation and the access (or lack thereof) dependent upon the way one presents; even in the minutiae of activity.

Potter’s examination of gender performance harkens back to an almost Shakespearean methodology. Aside from the performance of gender the audience can observe in Orlando, characters like the Queen interestingly exhibit a similar queering of gender identity. Orlando has a close working and personal relationship with Queen Elizabeth I played by Quentin Crisp, a queer English actor known for his gender bending performances. The interplay between the two characters denotes the performativity of gender even further. Similar to a Shakespearean comedy, the Queen’s gender has a meta and manifold interpretation; she is a woman performing the acts of a traditionally masculine role, played by a male actor who defies the traditional roles of masculinity.

https://images.app.goo.gl/8QFjjAmshbYgYGP56

The films queering of love can be perceived as either accurate or problematically heteronormative. Orlando’s gender remains perpetually ambiguous, and thus each romantic connection can be applied to a queer reading. However, each romantic affiliation Orlando engages in, does fall within heteronormative expectations. He first falls for Sasha, an unattainable Muscovite princess; with whom he has a contentious and overly idyllic relationship with. Within this context he becomes possessive, petulant and assumes totalizing notions of ownership over her on the basis of affection. As a woman she has a sexual relationship with Shelmerdine, an American revolutionary who is represented of the masculine ideal. By the end of the film she presents more androgynous, is not in a romantic relationship and has become a serious writer. She does however have a child, which appears to fall into the trope of motherhood as some variety of completion for women. There are moments in which the film deviates from hetero notions of romance, as Archduke Harry professes his attraction toward Orlando “whether man or woman”. In spite of this, there still seems to be a gap in representation of queer romantic love within the film.

Another short coming within the film is the highly privileged positioning of Orlando’s character. While Orlando may experience the limitations of existing as a woman within a patriarchal society, she is also in a position of fiscal abundance and operates from a position of socioeconomic privilege. In Doty’s work “Making Things Perfectly Queer”, he address the disparity in intersectional representations of queerness: “Clearly we need more popular and academic mass culture work that carefully considers feminine gay and other gendered queer reception practices, as well as those of even less-analyzed queer readership positions formed around the nexus of race and sexuality, or class and sexuality, or ethnicity and sexuality, or some combination of gender, race, class, ethnicity and sexuality” (Doty 14). The film follows the story of an upper class, high society individual who experiences the socital demands of gender expectations, and moments of queer desire, however Orlando does not encompass an intersectional representation of queer experience. Largley I believe this is due to the fact that it is an adaptation of a Woolf novel, who herself often created her narratives from a position of socioeconomic advantage; however, Potter does deviate in her reimagining of the text, and thus there was potentiality to make this narrative more intersectional and accessible to a modern queer viewer.

My predominant interest in the film had to do with my affinity for Virginia Woolf, and my previous knowledge of the novel. The novel to me seemed a form of breakout text, as it dealt with notions of gender identity, the position of women within society and was developed out of a queer relationship between Woolf and Vita Saxton West (who she based Orlando off of). While I did feel that the film was able to navigate the complex fictional world Woolf develops, from a mode of cinema, I do feel that there could have been more work put into making this narrative more inclusive and indicative of modern queer lives. I was able to see myself represented in the film on the basis of being a woman and relating to the sexism and limitations the film exposes. I did feel it examined gender roles in a way that was relatable, however there was potential to take the analysis further and admonish some of the elitism which existed within the original text.

https://images.app.goo.gl/xQf7MQGRAafmqEiQ7

References:

Butler, Judith. “Performative Acts and Gender Constitution.” Feminist Theory Reader, 2020, pp.

353–361., doi:10.4324/9781003001201-42.

Andersson, Yvonne. “Queer Media? Or; What Has Queer Theory to Do with Media Studies?” July 2002.

Doty, Alexander. Making Things Perfectly Queer: Interpreting Mass Culture. Univ. of Minnesota Press, 1993.

Canby, Vincent. “Review/Film Festival; Witty, Pretty, Bold, A Real She-Man.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 19 Mar. 1993, www.nytimes.com/1993/03/19/movies/review-film-festival-witty-pretty-bold-a-real-she-man.html?auth=login-google.

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