#to an audience of 2 people

[jaratedeguadalupe]

Remus would have the weirdest names on social media, can you imagine him hitting on virgil and going “oh, here's my instagram” and the man types tractorpussy69 in front of him 

#amazing first impression #no actually it's great insight on what kind of person he is #virgils would be #mothmans husband #smth cryptid related #i think he'd be the type to have an art/fandom insta #not really post pictures of himself #remus's would be a total mess #a little bit of everything #one day he's and artist the next he's doing lives cooking at 3am #to an audience of 2 people #ts remus #ts virgil #virgil sanders #remus sanders #dukexiety

[marisatomay]

so cool that fanfiction won anne rice’s war on fanfiction

#the new show is sooooooo good #everyone go watch it!!! #and as my buddy pointed out #so cool that tom cruise won anne rice’s war on tom cruise #she’s 0-2 #for those not in the know: #she intentionally spread lies that cruise was trying to make the movie less gay in attempts to tank the film bc she was angry he was cast #and then fully admitted (!!) that SHE was the one who kept making edits to the script to try and make it more palatable to studios/audiences #(ie less gay and explicit) and that the director neil jordan actually put a lot of it back in there once he was in charge #and that tom had no say over the script at all #but by the time she apologized to him (like actually called him and apologized) the damage was done and people STILL think he did all that #and say what you will about him but thomas cruise put his whole pussy into lestat and stands by IWTV to this day #even after OPRAH called him to say she walked out of a screening of the movie because she thought it was putting the devil into the world #anyway. #sorry for being insane! it will happen again

[brainrotisseriechicken]

this is so niche its insane. im sorry.

(clefdraki as the two other indonesian (former) presidential candidates. what the fuck am i even doing.)

save me ganies clefdraki save me

#dr clef #dr kondraki #clefdraki #scp #scp foundation #scp fandom #scp fanart #fanart #doodle #THIS IS SATIRE I SWEARR #(thats not what satire MEANS!!!!) #donr even ask me the context of these i dont know either #kominfo dont arrest me kya :3 #pilpres 2024 #WKWKWKWKEJD ANJINGGGG #indonesia tag #this appeals to. 2 (two) people on this site #i think im so funny #ANJINGGG #sorry i think im hilarious #what the fuck is my target audience LMAOOO

[buwheal]

Hey, Spamton!! Happy birthday! Anything specific you'd want for your birthday? I'm sure we can somehow pitch in to get you something!

#teehee #hes asking YOU just to clarify TELL HIM!!!!!!!! HELP HIM!!!! #pitch in by suggesting a place to look :-3 #Sometimes i do these and i think like... is this cringe? this feels embarassing #and then i remember NOBODY FUCKING CARES THEY LIVE FOR THIS WHAT AM I ON #GOD #the general spamton audience IS cringe and IM cringe what am i worried about who cares #aha #anyways #[you've got mail!] #spamton #spamton g spamton #deltarune #deltarune spamton #deltarune chapter 2 #thanks to the two people who listened to my tags btw lol

[strongestpotion]

#the target audience for this is like 2 people #save me white boy #white boy save me #potion seller #justin kuritzkes #nick.png

[from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras]

When your name literally means “Battle Survivor” but you’re starting to wonder if Tolkien meant that as some kind of joke:

Seriously, though, I am still DEEP into my feelings about Obscure Blorbo Guthláf, and I remain fascinated by Tolkien’s thought process on his name, which really does mean “Battle Survivor.” In the drafts, Guthláf the banner bearer’s name was Guthwin (“Battle Friend”). Tolkien changed it later and gave that name to Éomer’s sword (written instead as Gúthwinë), but at that point he had ALREADY written that the banner bearer died at the Pelennor Fields. So he made a conscious decision to bestow the name Battle Survivor on a character that he knew full well had died in battle. Why? Who knows! Maybe it was ironic commentary. Maybe he thought it was funny. To me, it is just one more tragic element in Guthláf’s story and one more thing to get all emotional about. But then again, I do so enjoy getting weepy about my favorite horse boys.

#posts that have a target audience of 2 or 3 people #lord of the rings #tolkien #lotr #guthlaf #guthláf #rohan #sob

[secretmellowblog]

We need a Les Mis Magnus Archives AU where, instead of being avatars of the 13 TMA entities, the Les Mis characters are the avatars of Hugolian concepts like the “The Infinite” or “Man.”

Enjolras is an avatar of The Infinite.

Jean Valjean is an an avatar of Man.

You see the vision…..

#niche joke made for an audience of 2 people #Les mis #Les mis letters #lm 2.7.1

[speakofcompersion]

God of Performance Taemin ft. the cutest audience in the world 🥰 Move on AKMU's The Seasons: Long Day, Long Night (231103)

Bonus: AKMU also being cute

#First off: props to the live musicians. this live remix of Move is everything to me. It's so funky and groovy i love love love <3 #i want it stream-able pls give the clean audioo i beg #also to the cutest audience in the whole world: i love you. This video makes me so happy they're all so engaged and energetic #i relate to every person here :P the energy in this room must have been amazing! #he really did get them all to Move 😉 #and look at the beaming smile on Taem's face!!! he is loving this soooo much <333 #on the ethics of gif-ing audience members... i couldn't resist. I did make a poll a few weeks ago and “it's ok to gif” won the poll... #but only 3 to 2 (5 people voted total lol) so.. you can't really call that conclusive. feel free to lmk if it's not fair to audience!! #if so then i will remove gifset :')) #taemin #lee taemin #shinee taemin #shinee #akmu #kpop #performance #move performance #analook

[g1ngerbeer]

any dalek universe enjoyers out there

#id in alt text #my art #dw #doctor who #dalek universe #tenth doctor #mark seven #anya kingdom #post with a target audience of like . 2 people #This audio series has ruined me. To cope i have been making shitposts. #claw machine is because thats basically what happens in wrong woman. he uses a temporal claw machine to drag himself into the timeline

[eebie]

#scott pilgrim #lucas lee #2 reach a broader audience #The people nemed to see this

[shirleyjacksonesque]

dogs days are over - f+tm / goliath - kings nbc

#aka a post I put a little bit too much effort into #april.fuck #kings nbc #my target audience for this post is like. 2 people

[clannfearrunt]

HEY HOW ARE WE FEELING ABOUT DEDF1SH/ACHT BEING CANONICALLY THEY/THEM

I think I've unwittingly become the fucking Splatoon Gender Bad News Guy but I would not get your hopes up in the slightest:

The translation in Splat 3 has been kind of Weird, not with the major shit as far as I know (thankfully) but with little things on the side; they have little oddities that would not be fucking there if the English team were communicating well with the JP team, which doesn't inspire confidence in the quality of their already pretty Meh english twitter posts.

I would watch the info on Dedf1sh's Official Bio on their splatbands info section of their website:

(sorry every website I use is in comic sans it's the firefox settings)

If they change Ded's pronouns to they/them in here, THEN I would get out the bottles. Or if they use they/them in the actual game when Side Order comes out.

tldr: bizarrely, I super would not trust the goddamn official Twitter account for info which is certainly a fucking sentence but it's true! Shit's weird. Shit's weird in the game even. Just don't get your hopes up and get them shattered or god forbid start up discourse I can't do this again you Cannot Start Dedcourse 2. HOLD YOUR HORSES EVERYONE we have jumped the gun on Dedf1sh Translation before and it ended in disaster learn from the mistakes of the past

#sorry im kind of talking to a General Audience here bc this is a bit of an info post. ''you'' isn't specifically you! #splatoon #asks #duskittycat #dedf1sh #splatoon 3 #splatoon side order #ive been calling shiver's situation Dedcourse 2 but IT'S ACTUAL DED THIS TIME #nintendo barely has a grasp on binary trans people let alone nonbinary people you have to set your expectations a little lower

[theribbajack]

Just finished G.I. Joe: Renegades for the first time and hoo boy. It's been a long time since I was down this bad for a ship.

Lineart below the cut:

#my art #g.i. joe #scarlett o'hara #snake eyes #snakescar #g.i. joe renegades #gi joe renegades #hasbro #this pic has a target audience of about three people #inb4 people reblog thinking its some sort of buckynat au #for real tho i love how committed this show was #they really said “yes snake eyes IS the coolest character” #“and scarlett IS his gf” #and i love them for that #i know army dudes aren't as novel as big robots that turn into cars #but i wish this franchise got as much attention as transformers #at least give us a season 2

[blorbocedes]

fernando/guanyu, hero worship, movie star fernando au

Guanyu justifies spending his sizeable allowance on booking a Saturday night private booth at Flavio Briatore's club with: if he wasn't spending it here, he would've been using it to buy Balenciaga to wear to class. Well, he does wear Balenciaga in the halls of UCLA, but still.

Zhou Guanyu would like everyone to know he is not a stalker.

All of this is publicly available information, such as Fernando's jet landing in LA on Friday, and Guanyu's bookmarked gossip boards confirming Fernando and his girlfriend are well and truly over.

And the Michelin star sushi bar Fernando posted on Instagram story that is impossible to get a booking into, and Guanyu had to beg his father's secretary to use his name.

It's just a hobby, LA is full of celebrity sighting.

Guanyu was five when he first saw Fernando, on a Chinese dubbed telenovela playing a young heartthrob. He was instantly a fan. Over the years, he followed Fernando's career diligently watching him break into Hollywood, and then critically acclaimed movies. Those movies taught him English better than the expensive tutors his parents hired. He remembers staying up late to watch the Oscar's, only to go on a very angry rant on Weibo when Fernando was brutally snubbed. He had posters of Fernando on his wall, followed his career even as it careened to a few disappointing cash-grabs the last few years after a successful stint at directing a one man play. Word on the street is Fernando's producer, Flavio, was using his production company for illegal tax writeoffs.

Guanyu waits, sparkling water in hand and a keen eye scanning the floor; the music slightly muted in his private room with an unopened champagne bottle on melting ice, glittering square table and uncomfortable lounge seats. Maybe Fernando isn't coming, maybe Guanyu's in the club all alone. Maybe he can invite Logan and Oscar next time, and opt out of the private booth in case they're uncomfortable with that. He still remembers the look on their face when they found out he has a personal cleaner come to his dorm.

Just as Guanyu was about to call it quits around midnight, a celebrity entourage with the DJ announcing his welcome -- Fernando walked in.

Even after all this time, Guanyu still feels a little starstruck, like the wind knocked out of him. It's not even the first time he's seen him in person, but the feeling is still the same. Fernando is so handsome, and whatever cosmetic work he's done is tasteful, looking older but striking. Guanyu waits at the bar on the upper floor and sneaks glances at Fernando when he can get away with it, watching him hug Flavio.

Fernando seems to catch his eye, and Guanyu looks away fast - fast, ears burning hot. He knows he's well dressed in his Chanel boots, two older ladies try to approach him and he politely declines, and when he turns around this time Fernando is gone from his seat.

Guanyu tries not to feel disappointment. He stares at his melting ice sparkling water.

"You are my favourite type of fan." The Spanish lilt of the voice by his ear makes Guanyu jump, Fernando Alonso right there beside him. "Beautiful, rich, groupie. Makes the experience rewarding for both of us, no?"

Guanyu wants to protest he's not a groupie but he's stuck on the beautiful, a blush rising from his neck, and Fernando is grinning wolfishly at him. This close, Guanyu feels a little dizzy. He can see his pores, like an HD Getty Image. He actually had a 10 step plan of how Fernando would fall in slowburn romance with him eventually after a carefully planned coffee shop meetcute but this was jumping several steps.

"I keep seeing you, and I don't forget pretty face. What's your name?" Fernando's arm goes around Guanyu's shoulder.

"Zhou Guanyu--Joe, my friends here call me Joe."

"Guanyu," Fernando butchers the pronunciation. "Zodiac sign?" He must've picked it up when he starred in Dragon Warrior: Unleashed in Beijing.

"Bunny." Guanyu momentarily forgets the English word for rabbit.

"Ah. Year of the Rabbit. I remember, from my time filming in Beijing. You are old enough, I will buy you a drink."

Guanyu finds himself being led to Fernando's table, legs walking on autopilot, heart throbbing out of his chest.

"Tell me, bunny, have you ever had a flaming whiskey shot?"

Fernando's grin is shark-like, hand on his shoulder sliding down to Guanyu's waist when he shakes his head no, signalling to his private server.

The rest of the night goes like this: Guanyu's lips close around the rim of his glass, and then it closes around the rim of Fernando's cock.

The sex is an out of body experience. Guanyu is going to compare it to Fernando's sex scenes he has bookmarked when he gets home.

"So, what are you, big Mclaren Heroes fan?" Fernando asks after, referencing his most popular movie that most people know him from, mostly because it was also the film that launched 7x Oscar winner Lewis Hamilton onto the scene. Otherwise, Fernando has just been on the film scene forever, but without the huge blockbuster hits. Guanyu actually thinks the first one is a little overrated, and then the decline in quality in the cashgrab sequels years later that never quite caught the charm of the first one.

Guanyu shakes his head. "I loved you in Minardi. I had a poster. I was 5."

"Jesus, don't remind me, kid." Fernando shudders, getting up. "It was a good run."

Guanyu has a million photos saved of it, but Fernando's back tattoo is still immaculate in person stretching from his nape all the way resting above the dimples of his lower back. He remembers when it was freshly inked and Fernando had posted it on his now abandoned Facebook. There's probably things about Fernando that he himself has forgotten that Guanyu remembers.

"You like?"

Guanyu blushes again, caught. He nods. "It's so cool."

Fernando smiles, maybe a real one this whole evening. "You have to be brave in life, like a samurai."

Fernando puts on a robe, heading to the en-suite bathroom.

Guanyu bolts over to where Fernando's phone is, unlocking it: 3314. He saw Fernando type it before, and it opens. Going to the phonebook, Guanyu saves his number as 🌸🪷💖Bunny🌸🪷💖 (Joe from the club) (Minardi fan Zhou Guanyu); before leaving it back where Fernando kept it.

If he were some lowlife stalker he would've called himself to save Fernando's number, but he's not. He hopes the emoji associations remind Fernando of the good times they had.

The next time Guanyu sees Fernando at the club, he's there with Logan and Oscar, who had invited their friends along too so the private perks and the membership card hadn't been awkward at all -- everyone calling him Joe The Man.

Logan, drunk, collapses on his shoulder with an inconspicuous whisper yell over the music. "Is that, that dude from Heroes?"

He locks eyes with Fernando across the dance hall. This time, Guanyu doesn't look away.

His phone buzzes with a text.

#the core thesis is they both don't see each other as real people here #the recent gif of them inspired this #as well as yandere little guanyu!!! not enough fics of them imo #this is a fic with an audience of 2 mutuals #but if you like it please Lmk! #f1 rpf #my fics #guanando #Fernando/guanyu

[gir4]

“Don’t you watch Seiya a lot?”

#tsurune #onogi kaito #takehaya seiya #cant wait for this to hit a whooping audience of 2 people who are both into tsurune and kaito/seiya #btw the quote is from the novel translated by tumblr user thefinalcinderella

[everyshadeofwrong]

taskmaster rusty lake AU wasn't on my 2024 bingo

#I'm aware the target audience for this post is maybe 2 people #taskmaster #cube escape #rusty lake #my post #alex horne #mr crow