#time loop as metaphor

[sulkybender]

for a moment the world turns gold

or: a fanfic I am posting on Tumblr for some reason

tags: time travel loop as metaphor for growing up abused, canon-typical child abuse, Zuko needs a hug, Zuko needs a boat, hurt/comfort, hurt Zuko

The first time he wakes up with his old face he thinks it was all a dream, everything that came before. It was a nightmare about the way things could have gone, and a warning, and Zuko takes it to heart.

In the war room he says nothing, and when it ends his father pulls him aside.

His silence, Ozai says, was weakness.

And then he burns Zuko’s face.

—

The next time he wakes up, he feels at his face, gasping. It’s all clean skin, good skin. And he speaks with authority at the war meeting, and his father pulls him aside.

He had no right to speak, Ozai says. He is a child.

And Zuko burns.

—

When Zuko wakes up again he panics. He stays in bed for a long time, longer than he should, trying to breathe.

He remembers the feeling of his father’s hand covering his face, the heat and sting of it, then white-hot pain and then much less, as his nerves died.

And he shakes in bed, crying, and when his father drags him out and asks why he slept through the war meeting, Zuko can’t tell him the truth, because the truth is so much worse.

He didn’t sleep. He cowered.

And Ozai burns his face.

—

The next time he wakes up he goes to find his uncle, to ask for help.

He tries to stay calm, to sound like himself, even though he’s beginning to doubt he knows what that means anymore. He woke up this morning with a nervous tic, a tremor all down his leg.

“Please,” he says. “Please, Uncle. You have to help me. I can’t go to the war meeting.”

“Prince Zuko,” his uncle says. “Backing out of your duties only hours before is shameful behavior. You have made a commitment to the Fire Lord. And I put in my own word for you, you wanted so badly to attend.”

“Uncle,” he says, and his eyes burn so badly that he thinks it’s starting now. “Uncle, please.”

And he sits through the meeting, crying, and his father burns his face.

—

This time he pretends to be sick. He answers with the most wretched cough you can imagine when his uncle comes calling his name.

There’s the coolness of Uncle’s hand on his cheek, the softness of his disappointment. He knows, and shame is like ash in Zuko’s throat.

“Next time, perhaps,” his uncle says. “When you’re better.”

Yes, Zuko thinks, sick with relief. Yes, when he’s not the pathetic person he is now; when he’s braver, stronger, deserving of love. Better.

And his father drags him from bed by his hair, hissing about weakness, his weak and useless child.

Zuko doesn’t disagree.

And his father burns his face.

—

He speaks up again, because he knows what’s coming. His father tells him to rise and fight, and he rises, he fights.

The flood of fire he can’t break, seething, billowing in waves. For a moment the world turns gold. He could live in the heat of it forever.

The world is really very beautiful, even as it tries to dissolve you.

Then he feels the skin of his forearms blister and peel, and his father grabs his arms, twisting them. His vision goes white.

He falls to the ground, and burns.

—

He speaks up again, because he’s angry. He’s angry with his father; he’s angry with himself.

He’s trapped and he’s angry, and he hates what’s being done to these men, because it’s the eighth time he’s seen the generals discuss it openly and plainly, with such pleasure. And no one’s ever stood up for him, and someone should stand up for the people no one’s ever stood up for, and he knows, he knows, that if he’s forceful enough, compelling enough, his father will respect him.

What his father respects is strength. Zuko can be strong.

He speaks out, feeling the tremor in his leg, but it’s a tremor of excitement now, not just fear. He knows the right thing to do and he knows how to do it—the thing he’s never known, not just the force of his ideas but a shape—and he gives his speech with the kind of moral clarity that will make his father proud.

And his father burns his face.

—

The next time Zuko wakes up he stares at the ceiling for a very long time.

Then he goes down to the war room and his father burns his face.

—

The next days are like this, and the next.

—

After a while, waking up whole becomes more painful, almost, than being burned.

When he wakes up with his clean face, his good face. It means his suffering didn’t matter. He wants it to matter. If it has to happen, he needs it to matter.

He wakes up with his clean face, his mother’s face, and thinks she wouldn’t recognize the person he’s becoming.

—

The last time Zuko sits in the war room, he thinks he’s going to lose his mind. He thinks he already has. The flames behind the Fire Lord’s throne lick and curl, shifting colors, and for a moment Zuko is too dizzy to stand. He could fall into that gold again, the loveliness of the world as it eats you.

But he does stand. And he gives the speech, not because he wants to get it over with or because he thinks his father will love him if he just gets it right, but because he’s accepted his father will never love him. That whatever he does he will always be burned. In a thousand worlds, a thousand lifetimes, there is no outcome in which his father does not burn his face.

And as he thinks about this, small hands clenching in his robes, he tries to imagine what it would be like to be his own person for the first time—not his father’s tool, not his sister’s.

“I’m not afraid,” he tells the generals, his father. “Whatever you do to me I’m not afraid.”

And he wakes up on a boat, face singing with pain, and his uncle holding his hand.

#atla #zuko #iroh #ozai #fanfic #atla fanfic #time loop as metaphor #finding meaning in suffering

[princess-self-shipping]

*Throws queerplatonic Miraloop propoganda into the aether and vanishes in a puff of glitter*

#princess art #in stars and time #isat #in stars and time fanart #isat fanart #mirabelle #isat mirabelle #loop #isat loop #miraloop #I dunno why but the idea of these two being close makes my heart happy #Loop has complicated feelings with Siffrin that can be very Metaphorical TM and fun to play with #but a dynamic with Mira? HAHA

[discatded]

lil thing from my fic TRY IT AGAIN, CHEATER! nothing to see here just fantasizing about normal things

(Reblogs are VERY appreciated!! <3)

#my art #isat #in stars and time #isat fanart #in stars and time fanart #two hat spoilers #isat spoilers #tiac posting #blood #gore #cannibalism #sloop #<- kinda? a little. depends on how you interpret the metaphors happening here #fun fact i. colored each tile individually. also drew the whole bathroom and cropped it at the end #wasnt as tedious as i expected! p nice actually! might do more backgrounds in the future #i really like the vibe of this one :) theres some little things id change but eh. i already put on all the filters #siffrin isat #loop isat #isat siffrin #isat loop

[purpleisdebeste]

in stars and time colour alts

there's a lot of metaphors here but in true isat fashion i will leave them all unexplained

#in stars and time #isat #thats my art #except not really but i dont have a tag for sprite edits #i wanted to draw but tech hates me #i have some fun ideas for loop too #but they would probably be human loop so i'd have to actually draw #and i say no #kinda want someone to tag this “x metaphor is really cool but it's probably unintentional” but that's just my catholic guilt showing #in stars and time fanart #isat fanart

[happysadyoyo]

Part 3 of the whump fic I'm working on. Part 1 is here (with @pillowspace's cute art cause I'm still not over it), and part 2 is here.

TW for talking about kidnapping.

Pretty sure we'll be hitting the big whump in the next bit. It's been a lot of setup so far, sorry.

You debate going to work anyway. After all, what could the powers that be do, deny you entry and your $30+ ticket fee? Except you don't have a child, and the daycare, or at least the Attendant, is pretty strict about adults hanging around, especially if they don't have kids there themselves.

And if you break the loop this go around (you will, you will), then you could use the cash. You linger on the thought of after. If there's no fire, would Sun and Moon want to stay at the daycare? Or maybe you could all move someplace far away from all of this, to the beach or the mountains, someplace beautiful for the animatronic who has never even seen the real sun or moon.

Yeah, something like that would be nice. So you don't go, not wanting to waste your money when you know there's still a couple months before the fire and you have plenty of time to figure things out.

You're still very excited once your forced time off is over, and you get to work early, scanning through one of the back doors since everything else is still shuddered. You'd been in such a hurry you forgot to even tie your shoes, resulting in a spectacular fall when you enter the brightly lit daycare. "Sunny! Shi---" You barely catch yourself from smashing your face into the rubber floor. Okay, yes, it's time to tie your shoes. Or maybe invest in some velcro ones since you keep forgetting.

"Hello, you're here! Are you all right?" It was infuriatingly endearing how Sun could bound so easily across the daycare in three, four strides to bend over and offer you a hand. He seemed so normal too; you take that hand and use it to propel yourself up and into a hug. "Ah, well, I've missed you too Sunshine!" Sun hesitates before hugging you back, and you withdraw slowly, looking him over.

"How're things while I was gone? You look okay." You're reluctant to let him pull away entirely, hands on his forearms well after he'd let go. He did look okay. No children's doodles or sticky handprints, just the usual dings and scrapes from daily wear and tear. You'd like to help buff everything out and clean him up, but...

"Everything was fine," he says, and you know he's lying. But nothing you say will get him to admit it.

You trail after him while he prepares for the day, peppering him with questions about the previous few days, but he's evasive. It's not until you ask about Moon that he stops.

"I really appreciate your concern," he says, rays pulled in ever so slightly, "but talking about Moony is... hard. The children will be here soon, so please. Let's just have a Fazerrific day."

"Does he know I miss him at least?" you ask, and when Sun turns away without an answer, you grab his hand. "Sunny. I'm your friend. You can tell me anything. You know that right?"

There's a moment of hesitation before Sun lays a hand over yours, adjusting your hold so your hands are cupped in his. "Starlight," he says, voice very very soft as he stares at your hands. "You need to take care of yourself first. We'll be okay."

"But---" You won't. The words die as Sun pulls away, and you find yourself tearing up despite everything. That's so close to the Sun you knew, the Sun you fell for, but it's not. Because he doesn't trust you enough to share his pain.

Sun opens the doors to let the first kids of the day in, and you wipe furiously at your face, trying to shake off the feeling settling uncomfortably in your stomach like lead.

-*-*-*-*-

Hiding in the janitor's closet, waiting for the pizzaplex to fully close makes you feel a little dumb, but here you are regardless, tucked away with the mops and bleach. It smells vaguely of chlorine; you're trying not to think too hard about what you might be inhaling.

You decide to check the news on your phone instead. Strange, but you hadn't really looked at the local news before. Everything had been so centered on you, on the Attendant, on this little bubble of the world, that you genuinely had no idea what was going on elsewhere. You open the local news site, leaning back as you scroll.

Twins Missing from Beds, age 9 Latest Disappearances of Children, No Leads Found Says Detectives The Pied Piper Strikes Again

The three articles are clustered together, the twins being the oldest story from right around when you started working at the daycare. You tap the newest one first, skimming initially, only to pause and restart when you catch the name Freddy.

...Ms. Spencer reports that she lost her daughter shortly after picking her up from Freddy Fazbear's Mega Pizzaplex's daycare service. She says they had stopped to use the restroom and when she finished, her daughter was gone...

There's a picture of the daughter, and your gut, already dropping, went cold. You know this girl. She had the biggest crush on the Attendant and would constantly carry this handmade plush of 'Eclipse', a sort of pseudo-original character she claimed was Sun and Moon together.

You remember Ms. Spencer too. She always looked tired but happy with her little girl. You don't remember what she did, just that she explained Eclipse was named after they saw an actual eclipse together a couple years ago. She'd fallen asleep and dropped the plush, so you had chased after them to return it.

Laura. The girl's name was Laura.

Is! Is Laura. This Pied Piper person wasn't murdering them, as far as the article said. The kids were just missing, and Laura disappeared---yesterday. She disappeared yesterday while you'd been at home daydreaming. No, it's fine. She's only recently gone and

You click on the other articles, a perverse sense of relief hitting you when you see the other four victims weren't kidnapped from the Pizzaplex, though you do recognize another name from an old roster and one of the boys is wearing a Roxy shirt. The oldest article, the twins, was almost two months ago. You didn't like what that probably meant, so you pushed the thoughts away. There was plenty more to worry about.

Like maybe that figure skulking about was the Pied Piper?

You leave the closet well after close, squinting as your eyes adjusted to actual light and not just being blinded by your phone. You check for Vanessa before making your way to the bathrooms by the daycare. Maybe there was some clue left behind?

It's quiet without the noise of the kids and parents and music all at once. Of course, it'd been like that before, but now, knowing that a child went missing, was kidnapped, here... or maybe you were just gone too many days in a row and forgot how it felt. You're just being paranoid. When you get to the bathrooms, you peek inside, then slip in, holding the door so it doesn't slam shut. The lights flicker on from your movement.

It's clean. Of course it is. The janitorial staff wasn't particularly large, but they always did a sweep at the end of the day. You don't know what you were expecting really. Crime scene tape? Those little number placards placed next to a puddle of blood? You probably should lay off the true crime for a bit, you decide, even as you check each stall. There's a wet floor sign hanging out in the far back, and you give him a little pat on the head. It's hard not to feel affectionate towards the little guys.

Would Sun and Moon be annoyed if you took one of the signs home with you both after the fire? Or maybe they're like guinea pigs and need more than one.

You're getting a little too distracted now.

At this last stall, you do actually notice something. The ceiling tile above the toilet is askew. Not much, just enough that you thought there was a bit of mold before you realized that it's just the blackness showing through. "Excuse me," you say to the sign, hearing its little wheels scrabble for purchase on the wet tile so it can watch you clamber onto the toilet and push the tile further out of the way. You have to take off your sweater and toss it up first before you can climb onto the metal pipe at the back of the toilet and pull yourself up.

You manage to support your weight on the tracks holding the tiles up, peeking down. "Don't tell anyone I'm up here, okay? This isn't dumb. Vanessa said there's someone sneaking around here and now there's a kidnapper. So maybe they set the fire. Maybe they're using the pizzaplex to track victims and they got greedy with Laura.

You try not to linger on the if I was working this wouldn't have happened. If Sun wasn't struggling, if if if

You also try not to think about the fact the daycare had been dark when you passe by again.

You turn the flashlight on your phone before dragging the tile back in place. It's dark now, musty smelling, and your heart is in your throat. You tie your sweater around your waist and start to crawl, looking for... something. You don't know what just yet. But you will.

#time loop au #dca #fnaf dca #daycare attendant #fnaf daycare attendant #'the big whump' lol more like I'm gonna finally get the metaphorical claws out #all of this is setup for vanny and co

[opanchu]

cannibalism as a metaphor for love is not fucking interesting im sorry it must be said also a lot of people are so so so fucking weird about it

#and can i be real. time loops are a million times better as a metaphor for love and devotion. timeloophead forever (pun intended)

[muninnhuginn]

Time loops are just about the whiplash of constant highs and lows until you reach the point where it becomes monotonous, but in the back of your mind it's still a rollercoaster; you're just numb to it.

Death as comedy because there are no consequences. Is it allowed to be tragedy when there are no consequences?

Watch the descent laughing until your breath is stolen by the horror and you don't know if you even care anymore.

#time loops #ff stuff #idk don't ask me tnk #for someone who doesn't like rollercoasters I sure use them as metaphors a lot #I guess it's because as someone who's afraid of stuff like heights and social situations it's very easy to equate it to time loops #because at some point you're still afraid but you also don't care but you're also underneath that still terrified

[meamiiikiii]

i will not elaborate further beyond the original notes i had:

these are the type of thoughts i have while eating breakfast ASDASD

#isat spoilers #isat act 6 spoilers #isat act 6 secret encounter spoilers #isaloop #in my mind this is isaloop even if u cannot see isa he is there metaphorically off screen u see #seperated from prev cuz it did not distinctly fit the sentimental vibes this is infinitely sillier to me ASFASDA #well that and i kept messing with the way i was coloring it lmao #...okay maybe i will elaborate a bit more in tags ASFASFAS #the thought process was to divvy up the most identifiable wearable items from each party member onto siffrin and loop #these items needed to be reasonably removable ofc #they were also not going to be related to their customs (no bonding earrings for example) #the original plan was to give siffrin miras shawl bonnies hat isas belt and odiles glasses #then i was like ehhhh actually idk if the dangling gem bit is like a custom thing or not since it could be??? #so i switched up to odiles coat and miras gloves and rest remained #realized midway thru YOU WOULDNT BE ABLE TO SEE MIRAS GLOVES THAT WELL??? #so i gave siffrin the rope belt from mira instead #as for loop the plan was always to give them miras bow and bonnies bracelet #i revisited just the glasses part for odile briefly then thought a lil more and went #i do not think odile would chuck her glasses #hence the book since i dont think i couldve reasonably removed anything else from her #the pants #the pants. #in terms of identifiability to me the striped pants are fun and striking #hence the immediate next thought in the original notes ASFASDAS #however i do not think isa would just??? chuck his pants like that???? esp in context with the rest of the party????? #but in my minds eye this was a little bit funny so yea ASDASDSA #OKAY. tag talk over it is nap time ASFAS

[thebestpartofwakingup]

“What if Revolver Ocelot was always setting Solid Snake up to finish the Boss’s will and take down the Patriots?” What if my heart shattered into 100000000 pieces and I cried FOREVER?!?

#mgs #metal gear solid #HE TOOK THE FALL!!!! HE TOOK THE FALL FOR EVERYTHING FOR THE BETTERMENT OF EVERYONE INCLUDING SNAKE!!!!!! HE WAS JUST LIKE HIS MAMA!!!!! #HE WAS JUST LIKE HIS MAMA THE WHOLE TIME!!!!!!! #he fell for big boss but he secretly loved solid snake as the boss loved naked snake tHE WHOLE TIME IM GOING TO CRY SO HARD I THROW UP #unrequited found family. Big Boss could and would never love the clones but god. god. ocelot could. #and it wasnt just david!!! IT WASNT JUST DAVID!!!! you follow the logic of all of Ocelot’s plans start to finish and he tried HE TRIED #to get every EVERY snake out. DAVID WAS THE MOST ‘OUT’ TO START WITH!!!!! #AND AND AND AND AND AND AND!!!!! #of the boss’s 3 sons….otacon was also the ‘most out’ from the word go. the only one who wasnt a child soldier #OTCAON IS SO OUT OF THE LOOP HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW HE WAS A PIECE ON THE BOARD #we don’t even know if Ocelot knows. but my god if he did. if he DID?! thats his BROTHER?!?! #and Ocelot WAS the proto-type Las Enfant Teribles in everyway that the Boss was the prototype Snake #and the boss didn’t even KNOW Otacon she NEVER knew that strangelove was doing that shit #Ocelot got approximately/metaphorically 15 more minutes with his last ‘son’ than the boss did with her’s and it was enough. it was enough #Snake is going to die but he got an extra 15 minutes of freedom that Big Boss + Ocelot + The Boss NEVER had #there was so much love and it didn’t affect anything and everyone was doomed until the very last minute

[spitblaze]

Tbh on a higher analytical level the Endless Eight could easily be read as commentary on the state of the anime industry at the time, pumping out show after show of inane high school moe nonsense. Show after show of the same, repeating their cute antics ad nauseum.

Pool. Bug catching. Part time job.

Pool. Bug catching. Part time job.

It is summer vacation. You and all of your friends are in tenth grade. You have done this many times. You've seen it all before. But here you are again. Maybe because you lack the will to initiate meaningful change. Maybe you feel it would be pointless - Maybe you find a sort of solace in that helplessness. How many times has it been now, how much time have you lost to the comfort of what you know? Why can't you move forward?

Will you be reliving that tenth grade summer forever?

#spitblaze says things #uuuuuuuuuuh this got away from me. just a bit #this is a *personal* reading. it doesn't necessarily reflect the actual message of the show #but examining what is there the time loop could absolutely be a metaphor for stunted growth #or a wish to relive a sort of idealized snippet of your past #and not only the futility of it but the toll falling prey to that can have #or something idk im not that good at analysis but i like doing it

[grayvveyard]

The thing about a timeloop is after a while, you just give up. You know you can't get out, so you give up on trying.

The loop is infinite, no getting out

Just give it time, it will become your only comfort

#grayves brainbugs #time loop #time loops are cool guys #comfort in repetition #repetition #definitely not a metaphor

[aropride]

oh god i manifested the time loop into my actual reality. i experienced trauma my freshman year & had a delusion where i had to do everything just right in the aftermath of it so i wouldnt fall into a timeloop. and now i’m back in college and i experienced a trauma and i’ve been trying to do everything just right in the aftermath so this year doesn’t end up like my freshman year. i made the fucking timeloop real. what the fuck.

#text #IM JUST ACTUALLT IN THE LOOP NOW FOR REAL. CHRIST #NOT LIKE A LITERAL TIMELOOP. BUT I HAVE RECREATED THE EMOTIONAL CIRCUMSTANCES AROJND THE METAPHORICAL TIME LOOP #NEARLY EXACTLY. THE PERFECTIONISM THE KEEPING TRACK OF EVERY SINGLE MEMORY AND EVENT AND EMAIL AND MAKING LISTS AND NOTEBOOKS AND. #DOING EVERYTHING THE WAY I DIDNT DO IT BEFORE SO IT DOESNT END UP LIKE THAT IM IN THE LOOP AGAIN. I MADE THE LOOP REAL. WHAT THE FUCK. #DOES THIS MAKE SENSE. #🗒️

[apollos-boyfriend]

Number 1, 6, and 10

tondemo-wonderz - wonderlandsxshowtime

6. toynbee tiles - the scary jokes

30. metaphor - the crane wives

[send me a number 1-100 and I’ll tell you the song it corresponds with on my top 100 playlist]

#muse talk #anon #ask game #hides face in hands. yes my top played song was a wxs song. #i listened to it. uh. 412 times. which is really a shame i didn't loop it once more. #the other two songs r on different media-related playlists ^_^ #toynbee tiles is on my qsmp playlist #and metaphor on my akeshu playlist

[best-fictional-cat]

Maybe Shoe + Wagahai is losing, but they managed to snatch the first two spots on you top posts

The end and the beginning

How poetic

They sure have every intention to go down in history! And it is indeed poetic. They've come such a long way from teaming up and beating everyone else to um whatever is going on in the finals :D

It's like they're in a loop... They get beat and separated, only to team up again and start the fight anew...

#sorry the time loop analogy is the most poetic thing I can think of #someone who's better with metaphors than me should do the analysis on the situation #cat asks

[superconductivebean]

#543

WELL.

SPAMMED TAGS WITH AN ESSAY?

im very proud of these rambles but i can't understand why do i love to spam tags sm

#днявочка #днявочка: hlegacy #eng tag #днявочка: фандомное #damn wright #so i was peacefully asleep and then it came to me that wright is clingy but attaches Value to every hug she received or asked for #because when she was little her parents were too busy so any moment of Family Love was cherished and of gold and -- #-- slowly wright was remembering it all after The Battle. what her life was like before everything or what she thought was it like #i couldn't just kill off her mom off-stage i had to implement her in-full somehow so; not to overshare much but sharp will come to know her #and he'll tell everything he learned to wright as he'd originally planned but rookwood intervened and well it's a long story #by the time of that convo blorbos developed bonds over some things already but at that moment -- it was a rubicon ahead of them #wright felt lonelier than ever and sharp couldn't just leave her there for the sake of keeping the subordination up #wright entrusted him with the knowledge and her life and sharp stood by his word; she was *his student* after all and sought his help #so that how it started; still a mentorship but deeper. heavier. *falconry metaphors here* #they did become very close after The Battle but here's the catch: both of them didn't realize it right away #wright's clueless but sharp is always vigilant; he didn't want wright to have too much on her already cluttered mind especially -- #-- family related bc the topic is very dear and personal to her. for sharp it was more like 'family what family' -- #-- it's tied to scarborough incident (it took his hopes of having any family along with the ship but tshhh oversharing) #so. imagine a loop of suffering; wright seeks comfort and when she finds it in his arms she feels hardly any better because -- #-- it reminded her of her father of her mother but sharp is neither of them and the thought of it alone brought wright down very much #sharp isn't a substitute either -- and fear of losing him lingered and ohmygod how much talking they'd go through #self-indulgent part of it: when you're thick skin you tend to oversee many damaging things and may not even know smth has gotten under #wright thought she overcame her losses but in reality she never did and all these events only uncovered her lingers

[all-seeing-ifer]

buffy the vampire slayer - i only have eyes for you, passion, innocence, becoming part ii / jacob geller - returnal is a hell of our own creation / wolf 359 - variations on a theme / Blue Öyster Cult - (don't fear) the reaper

#buffyverse #buffy the vampire slayer #ifer makes things #failed be normal about that episode challenge yet again #just. time loop stories as a metaphor for grief and guilt and trauma OH IT'S SO GOOD #i love that shit this is why i'm obsessed with returnal despite never having played it and just watching jacob geller's video a bunch #also i probs could have included more w359 here but it's been a hot sec since i listened #so my memory's a lil foggy #long post