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intheticklecloset · 2 years

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Tickled to Death (Bungo Stray Dogs)

Primary Universe

Summary: Dazai asks Atsushi to tickle him to death - literal death. Atsushi is hesitant, but things aren't exactly what they seem...

A/N: I've had this idea for BSD since before I even finished the anime, and I'm SUPER excited to share it with you! My first full-length story for this fandom! And yes, I've created a Primary Universe for it because I already have two others lined up that take place after this one. Enjoy! ^^

Word Count: 2,700

Warning: Slight suicidal ideation (Dazai as a character likes the idea of suicide, so please be warned if that bothers you <3)

~~~

“Oh, Atsushi~” Dazai sang charmingly, leaning into his protégé’s vision with an innocent smile that immediately let the weretiger know he was up to something.

Still, he paused in his writing and indulged his boss. “Yes, Dazai?”

“I’d like you to help me with something.”

“What is it?”

“Well, I heard about this really interesting way to die—”

Atsushi immediately tuned him out, blinking slowly, waiting for the brunette to finish whatever spiel he was giving. Every time the man asked him to assist his suicidal urges, the younger detective felt a little nauseous and frustrated with Dazai. For all of his amazing qualities, this was one quirk Atsushi simply could not stand.

“What do you say?” his friend was asking now.

“Nope.”

Dazai looked genuinely shocked. “Really? I thought you’d have been all over this one.”

“I’m not going to help you kill yourself.” Atsushi turned back to the report he’d been writing up. “I have work to do. Please leave me alone.”

There was a brief pause. Then, in a more amused voice, Dazai asked, “You didn’t hear a word I just said, did you?”

“Huh? Of course I heard you. You heard about this interesting way to die, blah, blah.”

“Ah, so that’s when you tuned me out.” Dazai leaned against the desk and grinned down at him. “You think I didn’t realize you’d stopped listening?”

Atsushi glanced up at him, both annoyed and embarrassed. “Dazai, I’m not helping you—”

“I asked you if you’d like to tickle me to death.”

The weretiger blinked. Was he serious? He looked serious. Well, as serious as Dazai could look. “You…want me…to tickle you?”

“To death, yes.”

Atsushi sat back in his seat, dropping his pen, a little hazy. “I don’t know that it’s actually possible to tickle someone to death…”

“Sure it is! You just have to put your back into it. What do you say, Atsushi?” Dazai asked eagerly, spreading his arms as if in invitation. “Want to give it a try?”

“Uh…”

“Ah! Kunikida!” Dazai perked up as their coworker walked in, making the room a party of three. “I’ve asked Atsushi to tickle me to death, and he doesn’t seem like he wants to do it! Can you believe that?”

There was a long, long silence. Atsushi was just beginning to turn around to see the expression on Kunikida’s face when the man himself finally replied, “Atsushi isn’t the type to want to do any harm, so yes, I can believe that he’s hesitant. However…” He adjusted his glasses and looked the weretiger straight on. “…should you decide to attempt it, I will help you.”

“You’ll what?” Atsushi exclaimed, jumping to his feet, knocking his chair over. His eyes flicked between Dazai (calm and amused) and Kunikida (completely serious as always), trying to figure out what exactly was going on here. There was no way on this green Earth that Dazai wanted to try a new suicide method and Kunikida was actually going to help him!

Apparently Dazai deduced that Atsushi was going to do it, so he hopped up onto the desk and lay down flat, legs dangling off one end, stretching his arms above him. He smirked up at the younger man. “Well? I’m ready when you are.”

Kunikida strode over to them and sat on the ground below Dazai’s arms, silently grabbing his wrists and holding them firmly.

“You…you’re both serious,” Atsushi finally managed, blinking at the insane scene before him. “You really want me to do it. To…tickle you to death?”

“Yep,” Dazai said with a dazzling smile.

“Like…actual death.”

“Yep!”

Atsushi glanced at Kunikida, who seemed to have gotten comfortable in his position on the floor.

This was crazy. Absolutely insane.

Just another day at the office, he supposed.

“All right.” Atsushi reached his hands out to hover over Dazai’s torso. “I’ll…I’ll do it, I guess…”

“Might be easier if you sit on me,” the brunette suggested, still grinning. He looked way, way too happy about this. “I’m fairly ticklish.”

Kunikida snorted as though that were an understatement.

Almost in a trance, Atsushi did as asked and climbed up onto the desk with him, sitting on his boss’ waist, fingers poised over his ribs.

“Whenever you’re ready,” Dazai encouraged.

Atsushi let out a breath and started scribbling his fingers along Dazai’s ribs.

Admittedly, he didn’t have a lot of practice with tickling – giving or receiving. No one had touched him at the orphanage unless they were hurting him, and once he’d been driven away and started working for the Armed Detective Agency he’d been too busy trying not to die to even think about something as childish and playful as this. His movements felt jerky to him – uncoordinated and all kinds of weird – but his simple ministrations turned Dazai’s confident smile into a more natural one, so he kept it up.

At first the brunette just grinned widely and shivered a little, but with each passing moment and each increase in pressure on Atsushi’s part, Dazai gradually broke out into tiny giggles and eventually began squirming in earnest, his arms kept securely above him thanks to Kunikida’s hold.

Then:

“Cohohome on, Atsushi,” he whined. “You gohohohotta try haharder than that to kihihihihill me.”

“I’m not—!” Atsushi began to protest, then stopped. He wasn’t actually trying to kill Dazai, of course, but to be fair, the man had asked him to tickle him to death. That would require much harder tickling than what he was doing now. That, and finding a particularly ticklish spot. “Okay, fine. How about this?”

Dazai yelped in surprise when Atsushi gripped his sides and dug in hard, giggles bubbling into soft laughter, his face beginning to turn pink. “Yeheheheheah, that’s behehehehetter!”

Atsushi rolled his eyes. This was ridiculous, but he had to admit, it was also kind of fun. Watching Dazai break down this way, laughing out loud, seeming to actually grow a little flustered…all of it was novel to the weretiger, and the more he kept going, the more he wanted to see. He was curious how far he could push it before Dazai gave up and changed his mind. Because that’s what people did when they got tickled, right? They eventually reached a breaking point? No way Dazai was so superior to the average human being that he wouldn’t eventually change his mind about wanting to literally die laughing.

Suddenly Atsushi was smiling, too. He rubbed his thumbs in small circles just above Dazai’s hips, watching with interest and satisfaction when the man arched his back a little, a short squeak escaping him. “Good spot, Dazai?”

The man looked up at him through squinty eyes, still laughing, but something seemed to change in his demeanor before he flopped his head back down and said, “Try hahahaharder, Atsushi.”

Okay, now he was just being annoying. Atsushi dared to go slightly further down, finding the man’s hipbones and pressing in there, pleased to hear a loud “gyah!” erupt from Dazai, followed by a stream of hysterical giggles that were actually kind of cute coming from him. “Gohohohohohohood johohohohob!”

The more he kept talking, the more Atsushi felt an urge to get him to shut up rise in his chest. He used all ten fingers to dig into that spot now, nearly being thrown from the desk when his boss finally burst into actual cackling, squirming like crazy whereas before it had seemed like he wasn’t really affected that much.

“Any pointers for me now, Dazai?” Atsushi teased, keeping up his assault with a grin. He was surprised to find it was actually really fun to make someone laugh like this, just from touching the right spots on their body.

“I have one,” Kunikida said from the floor, reminding Atsushi of his presence for the first time in a few minutes.

“Oh,” the weretiger stammered, slowing down a little. “What is it, Mr. Kunikida?”

“Let’s just say there’s a reason I’m holding onto his wrists right now.” The older man glanced over at him with a tiny smirk. It only took Atsushi a moment to put it together.

“Ah, I see. Are your armpits really ticklish, Dazai?”

Dazai was back to his confident grin, though his cheeks were looking a little pinker now. “I don’t know. Why don’t you find out?”

“Careful. The more you sass me the more I actually want to tickle you to death.”

Dazai’s eyes only seemed to light up at the comment. All right, so maybe that was the wrong thing to say, but…

“You know what they say,” Atsushi continued, scooting up a little for better access. “You mess with the cat, you get the claws!”

Dazai clamped his lips shut for only a brief moment when Atsushi began scribbling in his exposed underarms, quickly breaking down and snickering and eventually throwing his head back with peals of laughter when his protégé started digging instead. His legs finally started kicking the air, too, and Atsushi knew this was it. This was the spot.

Now to go in for the kill, so to speak.

“If I stay here and keep tickling you like this, will this be enough to finally make you kick the bucket? Huh, Dazai?”

It was amazing to him that his boss hadn’t uttered one word of pleading yet. The few times he did witness a tickling episode, the person being tickled was often saying ‘stop’ or ‘no’ or some other variation of asking for it to be over. Dazai hadn’t done that once yet.

Well, Atsushi was determined to change that now.

“Nothing to say?” he teased, kneading his thumbs deep into his armpits. “No more pointers? No more demands? Am I doing what you wanted now?”

“AHAHAHAHAHATSUSHI!!” Dazai cried through his laughter.

“What?”

There was no reply. Only more cackling, more kicking. A small, encouraging smile from Kunikida.

Atsushi decided to experiment, turning one of his hands into a tiger’s paw and extending the claws, dragging them gently up and down Dazai’s armpit, careful not to cut him.

Dazai shrieked, arching his back again, shaking his head. Still no pleading words though.

Kunikida cleared his throat, drawing Atsushi’s attention. He overdramatically mouthed the words “tease him,” and suddenly it all clicked.

Atsushi looked back at Dazai’s screeching, laughing, blushing features – taking a brief moment to admire the rarity of them – before beginning to speak again.

“Look how ticklish you are, Dazai. I never would have known if you hadn’t asked me to find out. Thank you so much for this wonderful opportunity!”

His words may have been slightly sarcastic, but he honestly was happy to have been given the chance to see this side of his boss. He was even happier when the brunette whined through his laughter and cried, “NOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!”

That was it. Teasing. Dazai never uttered a word of protest or begging until Atsushi had started talking back. That was what it took to break him. Well, consider this stallion broken!

“Tickle, tickle, tickle~” Atsushi pulled out all the stops, using every cutesy, cooing word he could think of, using a baby voice on him. “Aww, look at the little detective~ What’s the matter, Dazai? I thought you wanted this. Why are you shaking your head at me? Do you not like it anymore?”

Dazai cursed, surprising and pleasing Atsushi immensely. “STAHAHAHAHAHAHAP THAT!! STOP TAHAHAHAHAHAHALKING, ATSUSHI!!”

“Why should I? Does it bother you?” Atsushi beamed, suddenly finding that he was having so much fun with this he almost didn��t want it to stop. “Can’t handle a little teasing? Aww, look how red you are now! You’re like a cherry! How cute~”

“I’M NAHAHAHAHAHAT—!!” Dazai snorted, and the sound made Atsushi laugh, too.

“You’re cute when you laugh, you know. So cute and blushy and giggly~ Oh, my! Are those tears I see? Are you laughing so hard you’re about to start crying?”

Indeed, mirthful tears were pricking at Dazai’s eyes, and for the first time since this insane endeavor began, he looked up at Atsushi with something akin to distress. “STAHAHAHAHAHAP, ATSUSHI!! PLEHEHEHEHEHEASE!!”

Sensing victory was near, Atsushi went back to kneading his thumbs deep into his armpits, grinning at the howl of crazed laughter it pulled from his friend. “Changed your mind, Dazai? No more tickling to death?”

“YEHEHEHEHEHES I CHAHAHAHAHANGED MY MIND!! NO MOHOHOHOHORE!!” The brunette snorted again, and the first tear slid down his cheek. “PLEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEASE!!”

Atsushi decided that was enough.

He slowed his tickling fingers to a gradual stop and climbed off of Dazai, taking a moment to straighten his shirt before Kunikida had a chance to let go of his wrists and stand with him. Dazai lay on the desk, red-faced and bleary-eyed and gasping for air, and the sight was so unusual it both amused and worried Atsushi.

“Dazai, are you okay—”

“Excellent work, Atsushi,” Dazai said, finally turning his head to tiredly face his protégé. “That was a wonderful attempt. I have to admit, I wasn’t sure you had it in you.”

“You…what?” The weretiger blinked, glancing at Kunikida, who stood by his side with his arms crossed, a small smirk on his face. “Had it in me? What are you talking about?”

“He did this to me once before as well,” Kunikida explained calmly while their friend recovered. “He claimed to have found a ‘fun, interesting way to die’ and asked me if I could tickle him to death. Of course, once things got too intense he backed out pretty fast. It was all just a ruse to see if I’d actually fall for it; tickling someone to death would be murder, after all. Not suicide. And we all know he’d much rather take himself out. Right, Dazai?”

“Right,” Dazai confirmed.

“But…” Atsushi frowned, confused all over again. “If you weren’t serious about it, why did you ask me to do it?”

“I wanted to see if you would for a couple of reasons. One, to see if you’d do something crazy for me if I really wanted you to. Second, to see if you had a tickle monster buried somewhere deep inside that kind, quiet soul of yours.”

“And third, because Dazai loves being tickled,” Kunikida added.

This third one threw Atsushi off more than the first two had. It was easy to believe Dazai would test him in the first two ways. But to learn now after it was all over that Dazai had enjoyed it…

“You really like it?” he asked, his voice quieter now, making both other men look at him curiously. “I’ve…I didn’t know anyone could like it.”

Finally the brunette sat up, running a hand through his messed-up hair and softening his gaze toward Atsushi. “Yeah, I like it. I think it’s a lot of fun. But not everyone does, and that’s okay.”

Kunikida watched Atsushi carefully. “Do you not like being tickled, Atsushi?”

Suddenly the weretiger felt put on the spot, and he shrank under their gazes. “I…I don’t know. I’ve never…no one’s ever…”

Both of them stared at him. Dazai was the first to understand. “That orphanage really was the worst, huh?”

Atsushi hugged himself, trying to feel more secure. What had happened to the mood? Was it his fault it had changed? Probably. Lots of things were his fault nowadays.

“Well,” Dazai said after a pause, hopping off the desk and putting a hand on his protégé’s head affectionately. “One day we’re going to have to change that. But only when you’re ready to find out. And I promise, I won’t try to tickle you to death. The first time.”

Atsushi glanced up at him, saw his smile, and smiled back. He felt warm relief wash over him. “Thanks, Dazai.”

Dazai ruffled his hair and moved to walk past him, heading toward the exit. “That was a lot of fun. Thanks for indulging me, Atsushi. And…” He stopped in the doorway and turned back, grinning with his usual confidence again. “…feel free to tickle me again anytime you like. I’ll be waiting.”

He slipped out of the office, and Atsushi smiled after him, that same feeling from earlier rising up in his chest again at the offer.

He was already looking forward to it.

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