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#those are more mm. personal pieces i guess
automatonknight · 2 years
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image id: two digitals paintings. 
the first one shows a robot character standing in the middle of clouds of smoke. they’re very messy, colored with shades of blue. above the robot’s head is a glowing moon. the robot itself, also colored blue except for the red top surgery scars on it’s chest, is facing the viewer. its head is a rectangle with a red lens, while it’s body resembles a human skeleton. the machine is shedding a single red tear, looking down at the viewer.
the other painting shows the same robot curled up in a vibrant green field. the machine is colored grey with red details. it’s wrapping it’s long arms around itself, with its legs close to its chest. end id
use it/its for the robot
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punkshort · 1 month
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Roommates | 3. fun in the sun
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Pairing: pornstar!joel x f!reader
Chapter Summary: Maria organizes a getaway to Lake Travis for a long weekend. You invite your new boyfriend, but things quickly deteriorate, leaving Joel to help you pick up the pieces.
Chapter Warnings: language, smoking cigarettes, alcohol consumption, flirting, sexual tension, jealousy, mutual pining, smut (18+ MDNI), semi-pubic sex, fingering, hand job, description of a panic attack, heartbreak, food consumption, golf
WC: 8.4K
Series Masterlist
Charlie was cute.
Well, cute didn't seem like the right word, and handsome sounded too stiff. But he was both those things and more. You discovered he was also very dapper when you met him for lunch one day during work. He wore a perfectly tailored dark blue suit with a crisp white shirt. One button was left open at the top, revealing a sliver of his tanned skin underneath. You almost felt out of place wearing what you thought was one of your nicer dresses when he took you to some steakhouse you never heard of that didn't have the prices on the menu and you began to wonder how he didn't own a home yet since he appeared so successful.
"I never have the time to look, to be honest," he told you with a shrug. "Work keeps me busy during the week, and even some weekends. Then between grocery shopping and laundry and occasionally going to parties and meeting super pretty girls," he smiled with a wink and you giggled, "I just never find the time to house hunt."
"I guess I got lucky with Maria doing all the heavy lifting for me," you joked as you picked at the remains of your salad.
"Yeah, and she did a great job. It's a good starter house," he said with a nod before checking his phone.
"Mm, I don't know about starter. She was hoping to raise a family in that neighborhood one day. She really likes the schools."
Charlie made a little noise and you glanced up. "What?" you asked with a small smile.
"Nothing, it's nothing," Charlie said, setting his phone back down on the table. When you tilted your head and gave him a look, he sighed. "It's a fine area of town, I just personally would prefer to raise a family elsewhere."
"Oh, yeah? Like where?"
"Barton Creek would be great," he said, and you nearly choked on your drink.
"Barton Creek? That's like, so expensive," you laughed but his mouth didn't twitch. Your smile slowly fell and you said, "are you serious?"
"Of course I'm serious. You wouldn't want to live there?"
You huffed and sat back in your chair. "Yeah, sure, in my dreams. But I could never afford something like that."
Charlie leaned forward and took your hand. "But one day, maybe you could. If you go back to school at night and really apply yourself, it would only take a few years-"
"I told you I'm not interested in becoming a lawyer," you said, smiling up as the waiter cleared your plates. "I'm happy doing what I'm doing right now."
"Well, I'm just saying. You're young, there's options out there. You should really give it some thought."
At the time, you thought Charlie was being sweet and encouraging by trying to help you reach your full potential, but you would later discover you were wrong.
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"I want to get out of town for a bit," Maria said at family dinner one night. You all looked up at her, bracing yourselves for whatever she had already planned in her head. "What do you think about renting a spot on Lake Travis?"
She immediately clocked the table's hesitation. "Just a long weekend. Four days on the lake, get out of this heat and on the water. Doesn't that sound nice?"
"When?" Tommy asked, and Maria knew instantly she had won.
She gave him a few different options while he scrolled the calendar in his phone to look at his work schedule. Weekends were hard for Tommy and hit or miss with Joel, so she knew it would be a tough sell.
Tommy picked a weekend and Maria's eyes lit up. Joel was about to decline when you piped up and agreed to go and suddenly, he couldn't resist.
"Amazing!" Maria said, clapping her hands giddily. She picked up her phone and began to look at availability for lodging. "You can invite Charlie, too, of course," she added without looking up.
"Oh, right," you said, feeling stupid for not even considering him. "Yeah, let me see if he's free."
Joel's heart sank and he looked down at his food, pushing the pasta around on his plate while you texted that guy you've been seeing, completely unaware that it was tearing him up inside. He tried to not let it bother him and he thought he was doing a really good job so far, but he wasn't sure how he would be able to handle four days in the same house, watching him touch you and kiss you and make you laugh. All the things he wanted to be doing, and more, but couldn't.
"He can come for Saturday and Sunday but he has to work Friday and Monday," you announced. Okay, so two days of watching another man touch what should be his.
Maria spent the rest of the night planning the trip while Joel bit his tongue. Why couldn't Charlie take off work a month in advance? he wanted to ask. Doesn't he want to spend time with you?
But of course, he didn't say a word. He and Tommy listened as the two of you researched activities, restaurants and bars in the area and planned out the weekend, making sure to carve out enough time to relax on the beach because you knew that's what he and Tommy really wanted to do. Fuck, he couldn't wait to see you in a bikini.
"Aren't you excited?" you asked him when Tommy and Maria headed up to bed.
"'Course I am."
"You don't seem like it. I thought this would be right up your alley."
"Oh, yeah?" he asked, leaning forward so his elbows rested on his knees. "Why's that?"
You grinned and settled back into the couch. "Girls on the beach, obviously. Dripping wet from the water or sweating from the heat. I thought you would be more excited."
"I am," he said, leaving out that he was excited to see you dripping wet from the water or sweat. You hummed and stretched out your legs on the couch.
"Feel like watching a movie?" you asked, and he quickly nodded.
He knew it was pathetic but he couldn't help it. Any amount of time you wanted to spend with him alone, he would take. And when you curled up under a blanket and shoved your feet underneath his thigh while you watched the TV, it took everything in him not to pull you into his lap and press his lips against yours.
Because you were spoken for. And that would be wrong.
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It was so fucking hot.
The day you left for the lake, the temperature was close to record breaking and all of you had to admit once you were in the comfort of the air conditioned truck that Maria's plan to get out of town was truly inspired. And once you arrived at the house you rented, you had to give Maria even more credit because the place was stunning.
It was a two story cabin with four bedrooms, a spacious living area and a kitchen behind it. The walls were all made of wood, stained a dark cherry for ambiance while the house sat a mere ten minute walk to the beach.
"Oh my god, this place is so cool," you said softly as you walked around the upper level, checking out each bedroom. It was hard to choose, they were all equally beautiful and had great views of the small forest around you, so you didn't mind when Tommy and Maria picked the master suite. Each room had its own charm.
The first evening you were there, you decided to go to dinner and then hit up a bar nearby, just the four of you. Charlie had planned on arriving sometime the next morning and then you would head to the beach, where you would spend a majority of the day getting tan and drinking whatever was coldest from the cooler you brought from home.
"Okay, do not even start that shit with me, Joel! You know I have a fear of heights! I'm not going anywhere near that fucking thing!"
He laughed and wrapped an arm around your shoulders as you walked down the boardwalk behind Tommy and Maria.
"It ain't even that high! It's just a goddamn ferris wheel!"
"I don't care, I'm not going on it. You guys can go and have a lovely time. I will stay down here, safe on the ground where I can't plummet to my death."
"C'mon, now. You know I won't let anythin' bad happen to you," Joel said, his voice dropping an octave lower as he pulled you in closer, the alcohol coursing through both your veins began to call the shots when you leaned into his hold.
"And what are you gonna do, Joel, if the thing breaks and I'm stuck up there? Do you have some superpowers I'm not aware of?"
"No, I think you're aware of all my superpowers," he teased, making you blush and shove him away with a laugh. "But I know I could distract you. Help keep your mind off it til help arrives."
You stumbled a bit as you laughed harder, Tommy and Maria leaving you behind when they spotted an ice cream stand.
"Yeah, I bet you would. Telling me shitty jokes or more stories of how you tormented Tommy on the school bus?"
Joel grinned and grabbed your hand, yanking you into him again as you continued to walk past various bars and restaurants packed with tourists.
"Both would work, I'm sure of it, but I had somethin' else in mind," he said without thinking, getting too carried away in the moment. It felt too good, it felt so natural as you walked with your fingers linked together around your shoulders and your head leaning against the side of his chest.
"Oh yeah? Like what?" you giggled, then hiccuped, then giggled again. Why did you have to be so fucking cute?
He opened his mouth to say something he would probably regret in the morning, then bit his tongue when you looked up at him curiously. You saw the look in his eye and you cleared your throat, leaning away from him when you realized how inappropriate the two of you must have looked.
"Maybe I'll try the smaller one," you said, trying to steer the conversation back after the awkward moment.
"Nah, I'm just teasin' you. Don't do anythin' you ain't comfortable with," he told you, making you smile right as you caught up with Tommy and Maria. He loved making you smile.
"You guys wanna head back?" Tommy asked, tossing a handful of used napkins in a nearby trash can.
"Yeah, I should probably get to bed. Charlie's getting here early tomorrow and he wanted to try to get a hike in before the beach," you said, pulling your phone out to see if you had any missed texts from him. Joel swallowed and looked away.
"A hike? Since when are you a hiker?" Maria said with a laugh. You shrugged and grinned before looping your arm with hers, heading back in the direction of the house.
"Charlie must really like her," Tommy said as he walked side by side with Joel, both of them watching you and Maria giggling and poking each other in the ribs. "Always took him for a workaholic. Surprised he would be interested in coming out here."
Joel frowned before lighting up a cigarette. "It's the weekend. Didn't think he worked on the weekends."
"Oh, he doesn't, but he likes to put in extra time. Always chasin' that next promotion. Always been that way."
Joel exhaled a puff of smoke before replying. "How'd you know him again?"
"Used to work at the bar with me, if you can believe it," Tommy said, "but it was just somethin' to keep money in his pocket while he finished school. He was always a hard worker, even behind the bar. Real focused, y'know? Wasn't surprised at all when he got a job right outta college with that finance company."
Joel took another drag from his cigarette and allowed his gaze to drift to the curve of your ass in your shorts, knowing that the darkness would give him cover. "And you stayed friends all these years? Doesn't sound like you got much in common."
Tommy shrugged. "He's a nice guy and fun to hang out with when he lets loose. Used to be a good wingman back in the day. But he's the type of guy who's real driven. Sets his sights on a goal and will do whatever it takes to get it. I think his parents put alotta pressure on him growin' up."
Joel nodded and flicked his cigarette onto the pavement as they walked up the driveway to the house. He should be happy for you. It sounded like Charlie was a catch but he couldn't stop from comparing himself to your boyfriend. Even if he quit his job tomorrow and started over doing something normal, he would never reach the level of success Charlie had.
He didn't stand a chance in hell.
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Maria was right. You were decidedly not a hiker. But Charlie seemed so excited to explore the area and you were just so grateful he took time out of his busy schedule to spend an entire weekend with you that you felt compelled to agree.
At least he gave you a great view of his muscular back as you trailed behind him, your legs ready to give out from the exertion any minute.
"I bet you made so much money as a bartender," you told him. He turned around and shot you a smirk.
"You checking me out back there?"
"Can you blame me?" you giggled.
"It's beautiful out here, babe," he said once you reached a high point with a clearing. He took a swig of water while you caught your breath. "Thanks for inviting me. I've never been out this way before."
"Really?" you asked in disbelief, "it's not that far from the city."
"Yeah, well, you know how it is," was all he said. You sat down on a fallen tree and stretched out your legs while Charlie took a few pictures of the view.
"Isn't Joel seeing anyone he could have invited this weekend?" Charlie asked out of the blue. You paused for a moment, taken off guard at the thought of Joel with a girlfriend. Something you never really considered before.
"Uh, I don't think he's seeing anyone serious," you replied.
Charlie chuckled and sat down next to you. "He's a bit of a fifth wheel, don't you think?"
Your face twisted up in disapproval when you looked at him. "Not at all. He's, like, part of our family. If anything-"
You stopped yourself before finishing your sentence but it didn't matter. Charlie furrowed his brow and glared at you.
"What? If anything, I'm the fifth wheel?"
"I didn't say that."
"But you were about to."
You sighed and rubbed your eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by it. It's just because we all live together, that's all."
He scoffed and stood up, brushing off the back of his shorts before picking up his water bottle from the ground.
"We should head back," he grumbled as the guilt settled deep in your chest. You stood and wrapped your fingers around his bicep.
"Wait, come here," you said softly. He sighed and hung his head before turning around to face you. "I'm sorry. Really. I am," you reached up to cup his face and pressed your lips tenderly against his. You felt him relax into your touch and you smiled against his lips. "Can I make it up to you later?" you asked suggestively, and Charlie laughed.
"I'll hold you to it," he said with a playful swat on your ass. You squeaked and he grabbed your hand. "Let's get back. I wanna go to the beach and relax with you."
"That sounds amazing," you said dreamily as you followed him back the way you came, grateful the trail was now downhill.
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Joel didn't like Charlie.
And it wasn't because he had his hands all over you the entire fucking day, but that didn't help matters. He tried to keep an open mind, he really did, but something about him just felt off. It clicked with Joel later when he noticed Charlie had encouraged you to cover up your bikini before heading over to the bar to grab some drinks, even though they had brought plenty to share in the cooler. You had initially protested, laughing him off when you thought he was joking, but gave in when you realized he didn't want other men staring at you at the bar.
Charlie was trying to control you and you didn't even realize it.
Those chips are terrible for you, babe. Try these instead. They're baked.
You gotta reapply sunscreen after swimming. Don't you know that, babe?
What are you reading that trash for? You gotta let me broaden your horizons, babe.
Babe. Babe. Babe. Babe.
It was really getting under Joel's fucking skin.
"You're so quiet today," you said, plopping down next to him after spreading out a towel on the sand.
"Am I?"
You gave him a look and grinned. "Yeah. What's up with you? Did you not sleep good or something?"
Joel shrugged and looked out at the water, grateful his sunglasses were able to disguise his feelings on that particular day. "Not really."
You hummed and regarded him silently for another moment before lying flat on your back, stretching yourself out to bask in the sun's warm rays. You took off your sunglasses and closed your eyes with a contented sigh while he fought the urge to stare at your perfect body so goddamn close to him.
He forced himself to scan the beach, looking for anything to keep his mind off your soft skin coated in a thin sheen of sweat just within an arm's reach. He felt a stirring below his waist when he imagined running his tongue between your breasts, licking up the sweat collecting there.
"Everything okay?" you asked when Charlie reappeared, his phone in hand. Joel shifted and tried to subtly rest his book over his crotch.
"Yeah, just a quick work call. Hey Joel, I think that girl's checking you out," Charlie said, sitting down in the sand next to you.
Joel resisted the urge to roll his eyes and forced himself to be nice. For your sake.
"Oh yeah? Where?"
"The one in the white bikini. Blonde hair, big tits."
You whipped your head in Charlie's direction, unable to keep the shock from your tone when you whispered his name in disbelief. Joel tried not to watch but he could tell you were offended and he hardly blamed you. Who says that in front of their girlfriend?
"Not really my type," Joel said, settling back in his chair and closing his eyes.
"Not your type?" Charlie scoffed, and Joel cracked open one eye, once again grateful for his sunglasses because he caught you trying to silently shut Charlie up, but he continued to ignore you. "If she's not your type then who is?"
Your fucking girlfriend is my type, asshole, he wanted to say. Instead he just shrugged and hoped he would drop it.
He didn't.
"Come on, why don't you at least try to talk to her. Maybe invite her to dinner tonight. Then it would be all couples for once."
"Charlie," you hissed, a little louder this time. "He's not interested. Leave him alone."
"What's the problem? You were just saying earlier how you wished Joel would find a girl. I'm just trying to give him a little encouragement," Charlie said with a smirk. Your mouth fell open and you shook your head but it was too late. Joel's heart plummeted into his stomach and the familiar sting of rejection crept up his throat, strangling him. If you were privately telling Charlie you wanted him find someone, that must mean you were really over him, and whatever foolish shred of hope he was clinging to was all for nothing.
"I never said that! Joel, I'm so sorry," you said, scrambling up from the sand and turning on Charlie angrily. "Why would you-"
"It's fine," Joel said curtly, standing up and brushing the sand off his swim trunks. "You're right. I'm gonna go talk to her."
You twisted your neck to look up at him, your mouth opening and shutting as you struggled to come up with something to say.
"Y-yeah. I mean... go for it," you stammered and watched as Joel made his way across the beach. Even from a distance you could see the girl's face light up as he approached and you felt a pit form in your stomach.
"Why would you lie to him like that?" you asked Charlie with a scowl. He grinned and settled back into his chair with a book.
"I just had a feeling if a close friend motivated him, he would do it. Poor guy needs to get laid."
Fortunately you could blame the heat from the sun on your reddening cheeks. Charlie had no idea what Joel really did for work. You always skirted around the question whenever it was brought up because deep down, you knew Charlie would have a problem with it.
You slipped your sunglasses back on with a sigh and crossed your arms, still pissed off with Charlie but not in the mood to get into an argument. You tried not to stare as Joel flirted with the girl in the white bikini. She leaned into him and playfully shoved his shoulder with a giggle and your chest tightened when you saw him thread his fingers together with hers and lead her towards the bar.
You had absolutely no right to get jealous. Joel wasn't your boyfriend for that exact reason: jealousy. You had your own boyfriend who was very smart, handsome and successful. And sure, sometimes Charlie pushed you into doing things out of your comfort zone, but he was trying to help you grow as a person. So if he was so great, why did you spend so much time thinking about Joel?
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Chelsea was sweet, in her late twenties, got her degree in economics and also spent the better part of half an hour subtly rubbing her ass against Joel's hips at the bar. It was crowded, being right on the beach, and getting louder and rowdier as the afternoon dragged on. At first, Joel thought it was an accident, that the crowds of people forced her to press up against him. But he soon discovered it was quite intentional when she ducked her hand under the bar to rub his cock through his swim trunks.
"Whoa, what're you doin' down there?" he chuckled. She beamed up at him innocently.
"Feel like going for a swim?" she asked. He thought she was ignoring his question until they got in the water, swimming out a ways where it was quiet, but not too deep. Chelsea glanced around before wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her mouth against his, wasting no time slipping her tongue past his lips with a soft moan.
"I recognized you," she admitted, dragging her mouth down the column of his throat and dipping her hand below the water. He hissed when she slid past his waistband and wrapped her hand around his cock.
"Oh, yeah?"
"Mhmm," she said with a mischievous grin, her fist languidly stroking him up and down where nobody could see. "You're in dirty movies."
He laughed and squeezed her hips, encouraging her to come closer to him.
"You got me."
Even though she had her hand down his shorts in the middle of a lake surrounded by people enjoying a hot summer day, he had to admit that Charlie was right about her. She was sexy and charming and he liked how confident she was. She also seemed more than okay with his profession, which thrilled him. Maybe this was something that could actually work.
The first red flag came when he had two fingers curled inside her and she murmured I bet I feel better than those girls you have to fuck, huh?
It took him off guard for a moment but he shrugged it off, thinking it was just an idea that turned her on, so he told her yeah, so tight, baby.
The second red flag was when she asked are you gonna think about me next time you're at work?
His hips stuttered a bit underwater and he could feel the mental block building up. He tried kissing Chelsea to keep her from talking but it was too late, so instead he focused all his energy on getting her off with his fingers. Her grip loosened around his cock when she came, her moans muffled against his mouth. She grabbed at his shoulders desperately as her muscles went lax and he whispered I got you and held her against his chest until she caught her breath.
Over Chelsea's shoulder he could see you and Charlie on the beach. It was far away but he could spot you anywhere. While Chelsea murmured into his skin and raked her fingers through his hair, his eyes were pinned on you. You were standing up and brushing the sand off your legs, your perfect ass sticking out when you bent over in that hot pink bikini that was driving him fucking crazy all day.
Chelsea's hand was wrapped around his cock again, the mental block disappearing the longer he watched you. He groaned when you began to rub sunscreen into your arms, your tits bouncing with each and every movement. Chelsea took that as a sign to go faster. She whispered in his ear how big he was and before he even had a chance to stop it, his mind was imagining you saying that, instead. He remembered how nervous you were but then how you begged for his cock and his hips began to thrust into her hand underwater. Then, his breath caught in his throat when he watched you untie your bikini top, your arm holding the tiny pieces of fabric against your chest as the strings hung loose and you positioned yourself face down on the towel to tan in the sun.
"Fuck," Joel groaned, his cock pulsing in Chelsea's hand as he came. His breath was ragged and he fought to stand up in the water and not succumb to sinking to the bottom of the lake. She seemed to sense his struggle because she whispered in his ear let's go back.
As he swam to shore, the guilt began to wash over him for thinking about you when he was with another girl. That wasn't his intention at all. It was disrespectful to both you and Chelsea. But you were directly in his eyeline and he couldn't seem to stop himself. He could do better. He would do better.
"Hey, what're you doin' for dinner? A few of my friends are all goin' to this Italian place-"
"Oh," Chelsea said, cutting him off in surprise when they finally made it to the beach. "I'm sorry, thank you, but I have plans tonight."
He was a little disappointed but he knew giving a girl he just met a couple hours notice to go to dinner was asking a lot. "Don't worry 'bout it. Can I get your number? Maybe we can meet up tomorrow?"
Chelsea gave him a disbelieving look as she adjusted her swimsuit. "Are you serious?"
"Yeah, 'course I am. I'd like to get to know you better," he said with a lopsided grin. She laughed awkwardly and rubbed the back of her neck and that was when Joel felt the uneasiness settle deep in his chest.
"I'm sorry, Joel. I thought this was just a hook up," she said, biting her lip and glancing around the beach. He could feel the smile fall from his face but he cleared his throat, trying to hide his disappointment.
"Y-yeah, sure, I get it."
"I mean, you're really sweet and all, it's just... you know," she said with a little shrug. He swallowed and nodded. He knew. You can't take a pornstar home to meet your parents.
"Maybe I'll see you around?" he said, and Chelsea nodded. She kissed him goodbye and he watched as she made her way down the beach towards her group of friends, who had been watching with great interest.
He was living every man's dream and he couldn't feel shittier about it.
He didn't want to just hook up with random girls anymore. It was fun when he was in his twenties but now it just felt pathetic. He sighed and turned his head in your direction. Charlie looked like he had dozed off in his chair while you were still laying face down with your eyes closed on your towel, your smooth skin coated with a sheen of sweat, pinkening under the sun's rays.
As he began to walk back towards the pair of you, he spotted Tommy and Maria making their way over from the opposite side of the beach, having done their own excursion for a couple hours that day and promised to catch up with the rest of you before dinner.
Joel was relieved. At least there would be a buffer.
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Admittedly, Joel drank a little too much at dinner. He was still a little bothered by his afternoon with Chelsea, but he would have gotten over it had Charlie not picked at the scab every chance he got. First, he ribbed him about not being able to seal the deal when he showed up to dinner alone, but Joel just politely laughed it off. Then, as dinner progressed and the table was on their third round, Charlie began to point out girls around the restaurant who looked like they could be single, asking Joel if he thought they were his type with a teasing lilt to his voice.
You hadn't really been paying attention. You were too engrossed with something Maria was saying, leaning across the table excitedly as the thin strap of your sundress slid down your shoulder. Your skin was practically glowing from the sun, your eyes sparkled when you giggled with Maria and Joel was finding it more and more difficult to keep his gaze off you. Charlie either didn't notice or care. His arm was resting along the back of your chair, his thumb brushing against your back or your arm while he explained to Tommy the Chelsea backstory. Tommy's eyes flickered back and forth between Charlie and Joel, providing a few forced chuckles at his teasing, then changed the subject the first chance he got.
"What d'we wanna do tonight?" he had asked, breaking up your private conversation at the other end of the table.
"Why don't we hit the boardwalk?" Charlie offered, tossing back the rest of his old fashioned.
"We did that last night," you said.
"It's my only night here, babe. I wanna check out the rides and shit."
Joel's jaw tensed and he looked down at the table.
Of course, everyone agreed, so once dinner was over they all strolled down the sidewalk towards all the bright lights, the intoxicating smell of sugar and the sound of carnival games in the air. Charlie spotted the Ferris wheel and snatched your hand.
"C'mon, babe, let's check it out!"
You stopped dead in your tracks, making him spin around in surprise. "I don't like heights, I'll just wait-"
"Oh, come on! It'll be romantic," Charlie murmured suggestively, pulling you into his chest and pinching your chin. Joel hurriedly walked past to catch up with Tommy and Maria, unable to stand there and watch him kiss you. He knew he was being unreasonable. He knew he had to get his jealousy under control or else it would drive a wedge between the two of you and he couldn't possibly risk that. You meant far too much to him. So, he tried to distance himself for the remainder of the night. He hung out with Tommy and Maria, checking out various shops, getting candied apples and playing games while he forced himself to not look over his shoulder and seek you out.
Looking back on it, he probably shouldn't have gotten that beer and shot at the bar after Tommy and Maria ducked into a photo booth. His head was already swimming from the drinks at dinner but he really didn't want to be awake later to hear you and Charlie through the walls.
Tommy and Maria found him after the photo booth and showed him the strip of pictures, laughing at some of the props and faces they were making when Maria suggested they take a ride on the ferris wheel since it would likely be their last chance. Joel told them he would just wait, not wanting to admit the mere thought of those little cars swaying back and forth made his stomach churn with the amount of alcohol he had drank that night.
He was smoking a cigarette and scrolling on his phone, sitting on a bench near the ferris wheel after Tommy and Maria had gotten in line when he heard you. The panic in your voice sent a jolt of fear down his spine and he jumped up, flicking his cigarette on the ground as he whipped his head back and forth, searching for you. Finally, he spotted you pushing your way through the crowds of people in front of the ride, your face red and soaked with tears. His heart sank and he rushed over just as Charlie emerged a few seconds behind you. When he reached out to touch your arm, you yanked it back so forcefully that you fell on your hands and knees, scraping your skin against the hot blacktop.
Joel called your name and you looked up frantically, your chest heaving. You reached out a shaky arm towards him and he immediately pulled you up off the ground, his eyes raking up and down your body, assessing you for damage. Aside from some red scrapes on your hands and knees from the fall, you appeared fine, but you clawed at his arms and gasped I can't breathe and his heart began to slam wildly in his chest. He held you up against him and twisted around, trying to spot a paramedic when Charlie waved you both off with a dry laugh.
"Bro, she's fine, she just got scared on the ferris wheel."
"She's not fine, fuckin' look at her!" Joel yelled, turning a few heads, but he didn't care. He dropped his gaze to your face, cupping your jaw and wiping your tears away. "You're alright. Hey, c'mon, you can do this. Take a deep breath in through your nose, like this. Watch-" he inhaled deeply and you did the same through clenched teeth, then he exhaled slowly, pursing his lips as you continued to follow his lead. He did it a few more times until the tears stopped and your color returned to normal.
"You alright?" he asked softly, brushing your hair away from your face. You nodded and looked around for somewhere to sit. He seemed to read your mind because he led you by the elbow towards the bench he vacated. Giving you a chance to catch your breath, he turned on Charlie.
"What the fuck, man? Why'd you make her go on that goddamn thing?"
His nostrils were flaring and he could feel the anger bubbling up into his chest.
"I didn't force her to do anything," Charlie said with a frown. "She's a fucking adult, she made her own decision-"
"Because you fuckin' pressured her!" Joel shouted, taking a menacing step forward. "I heard her tell you she was afraid of heights so don't bullshit me."
Charlie's hand clenched into a fist and his jaw tensed. "Why don't you mind your own fucking business before I knock you on your ass?"
"Is that a threat?" Joel countered, closing the distance between him and Charlie, staring him dead in the eye as he waited for him to make a move.
You shoved yourself off the bench and quickly wedged yourself between the two men, a palm pressed against each of their chests, pushing them apart. "Stop it, please," you begged, "I just wanna go back to the house."
They stared each other down for another moment before Charlie looked away with a scoff. He grabbed your hand and muttered something under his breath as he began to lead you away, but when you passed by Joel, you stopped.
"Thank you," you told him softly. You reached out to grab his hand and gave it a grateful squeeze. He nodded and forced a small smile before Charlie tugged on your other hand. Joel watched until the two of you disappeared into the crowd before he sighed and collapsed back onto the bench. He raked his fingers through his hair, trying to get his temper under control when Tommy and Maria walked over, hand in hand with huge grins on their faces.
"You missed such a great view, Joel," Maria said, then looked around the boardwalk, asking where he thought you and Charlie went.
"Back to the house," was all Joel said before gruffly standing up and lighting another cigarette to help with the burst of adrenaline still coursing through his veins.
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Joel managed to calm down by the time the three of them arrived back at the house. He replayed what he had said and done over and over and just hoped that you didn't hold it against him. It didn't seem like you were pissed with him when you left but he knew his actions just made the next day incredibly awkward, so Joel decided once he saw Charlie in the morning, he would apologize.
When he walked by your closed bedroom door, it was quiet with the exception of the water running in the bathroom. He slipped into his own bedroom down the hall, then turned on the TV and fell asleep.
He slept in a little later than he intended but he had a hunch he wasn't the only one. It seemed like everyone had a little too much to drink the night before and from the sound of the plates and silverware clinking together in the kitchen below, everyone was getting a slow start to the day.
"Mornin'," Joel mumbled to Tommy, who was sitting at the table, rubbing his eyes over a steaming cup of coffee. He glanced up and nodded in return before bringing the mug to his lips and taking a sip.
"Need help with anythin'?" Joel asked Maria who was busy cracking eggs. She laughed and shook her head.
"Go sit down. You look like you feel about as shitty as your brother."
Joel didn't need to be told twice. He sat down next to Tommy with a grunt, his hands curling around his own cup of coffee, blankly staring down at it, hoping it would bring him back to life.
"Hey," Tommy whispered, eyeing Maria from across the room who was busy gathering things from the fridge. Joel leaned forward and arched an eyebrow. "Charlie left real early this mornin'. I heard a car door slam and noticed his car's gone when we got downstairs."
"Shit," Joel muttered, glancing over at Maria quickly, making sure she didn't notice them gossiping about her best friend.
"Think they got in a fight or somethin'?" Tommy asked, but right as Joel opened his mouth to tell him the details of what happened the night before, Maria bounced over to them with a plate in each hand.
"I'm gonna go wake them up," she said, turning on her heel. Joel gave Tommy a curious look and he just shrugged.
"Didn't tell her," was all he said, then rolled his wrist in the air. "Tell me before they come down."
Joel managed to give Tommy the bullet points then began quickly shoveling eggs into his mouth when they heard Maria descending the steps. She entered the kitchen with her hands on her hips, looking concerned.
"What's up, baby?" Tommy asked innocently. She swiveled her finger around in the air as the gears turned in her head.
"Charlie left."
They both did a good job of acting surprised as Maria sat down with her own plate of food and with a hushed voice, told them you were upset and didn't want to come down for breakfast.
"Did they break up?" Joel asked, realizing too late that he sounded a little too eager, but Maria didn't seem to pick up on it. She was biting her nail, worried about you and trying to figure out how to navigate the rest of the day.
"I think so."
Conflicted was the only word to describe what Joel felt in that moment. He really didn't like Charlie but he hated the idea that he could be partially responsible for your pain.
After they finished eating, Maria checked the time and tapped her foot. "I think I should cancel the zip-line, Tommy," she said, "I don't want to leave her here all alone." Maria had planned for her, Tommy and Joel to zip-line over the beach, overlooking the lake. Knowing your fear of heights, she had intentionally picked that day, expecting you and Charlie to spend some alone time together.
"I'll stay, you two go," Joel said immediately, picking up their plates and heading to the sink.
"Are you sure?" Tommy asked, and Joel nodded.
"I'm not exactly in the best shape to be flying through the air, anyway."
"And I am?" Tommy replied, but Maria shoved his shoulder and put her finger to her lips behind Joel's back while he scrubbed the plates. "Uh, yeah, thanks Joel. You let us know if you end up goin' out and we'll meet up."
Joel stayed downstairs, alternating between going on his phone or watching TV. When it got closer to noon and you still hadn't come down, he began to worry. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a couple water bottles. Putting them on the counter, he scoured the fridge and scratched his chin. He was always a terrible cook, so he gave up quickly and resorted to ordering a couple burgers for delivery before taking the waters upstairs.
He rapped two knuckles gently on the door, then heard some shuffling before your voice called out, inviting him in.
"Oh, sweetheart," he said sympathetically when he saw your puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. You sat up in bed and tried to run your fingers through your tangled hair before sighing and giving up.
"Leave it to me to get dumped on vacation."
He gave you a sad smile and held out a bottle of water, which you eagerly accepted. He sat down on the edge of your bed and watched as you drained almost the entire bottle, then handed you his. You thanked him and set both on the end table before turning your attention back on your television, which he hadn't even realized was on.
"Legally Blonde?"
"I wanted to laugh but I forgot she gets dumped in, like, the first twenty minutes."
Joel chuckled and leaned back against your headboard. "I'm so sorry. If it was 'bout last night-"
"It's not your fault," you sniffled, pulling the comforter up to your chin.
"You wanna talk about it?"
"Not yet."
He hummed and nodded, turning back to the television. He gave you all the time and space you needed, staying close by for the rest of the afternoon in case you wanted to talk, only leaving to get the burgers when they arrived. You ate them in your bed, grease dripping from your fingers and laughing at stupid movies until you felt good enough to get up and shower.
"You wanna go mini golfing?" you asked over your shoulder as you fixed your hair in the mirror. Joel cringed but agreed. He absolutely hated golfing, but for you, he would suffer through it. Especially considering your mood seemed to be improving.
"Lemme text Tommy and let 'em know where we're goin'," he said, pulling out his phone and following you out the door.
"Oh, let's just do our own thing tonight," you said, then cleared your throat when you realized how that sounded. "I mean, y'know, they probably want time to themselves, right?"
"Yeah, sure," Joel agreed, side eying you before hopping into the truck. You gave him directions to a mini golf course ten minutes away, then rolled down the window and stretched your arm out, the warm summer air slipping through your wiggling fingers. Even though the sun had set, the air was still so thick with heat it felt like you could grab it.
"It's so hot," you said, sliding out of the passenger seat once Joel parked the truck. You fixed your skirt; a flowy, white number that felt feather light against your thighs as you walked. Joel agreed and checked his phone, noticing a text from Tommy.
"Hold up," he said, and you twisted around, your tennis shoes crunching on the gravel parking lot.
We're gonna go to that Mexican place. 30 minutes.
"They're invitin' us to dinner," he told you without looking up.
"Tell him we already ate."
He nodded and tapped out a quick reply before pocketing the phone and approached the cashier.
"Two tonight?" she asked, smacking her gum between her teeth.
"Yes, but I'll pay for mine," you said, reaching for your wallet.
"Nuh-uh," Joel said with a frown, about to argue but the cashier spoke up first.
"It's date night. Two for the price of one."
Your cheeks felt hot at the insinuation that you were on a date with Joel, but you couldn't pass up the deal to play for half price. Glancing at him awkwardly, you shrugged and he slapped his card down with a cocky smirk.
"Alright, pick out your ball, but for the love of god don't pick the-"
"Oh, look at the hot pink one!" you exclaimed gleefully, snatching it up from the bucket. He groaned and buried his face in his hands. "What?" you giggled, shouldering him playfully as you admired your ball.
"It's just such a girl thing to do," he said with a grin, then leaned over to pick a neon yellow ball for himself.
"Well last I checked, I am a girl," you winked and headed towards the door, his gaze falling to your ass only once before getting himself together and following you.
"Shoulda known," he tsked once he caught up, "matches your bathing suit and everythin'."
Your stomach flipped and you felt your cheeks grow hot once again but you just laughed him off and approached the first hole. The course was packed with couples, no doubt taking advantage of the deal, so it was slow going. By the fifth hole, Joel grew impatient and plopped down on a bench.
"Giving up so soon?" you teased, and he huffed.
"I ain't a quitter, just waitin' for some of these people to play through. Sick of standin' around."
"You sure it's not because I'm beating you by six?" you grinned as you sat down next to him.
"I'm lettin' you win, darlin'. Tryin' to mend your poor, broken heart," he said, rolling his head to the side with a smirk.
"Eh, I don't think we were together long enough to say he broke my heart, but it still sucks," you sighed, playing with your golf ball in the palm of your hand.
Joel eyed you for a moment, trying to choose his next words carefully. "You ready to talk 'bout it, or-"
"I thought he was nice, y'know? Like, okay, he could be a little pushy sometimes, but I really thought he was just encouraging me to get out of my comfort zone."
Joel frowned and shifted his weight on the bench. "What'dya mean?"
"Like, professionally. He was encouraging me to go back to school so I could get a better job, but I like my job. And other things, too. The ferris wheel," you said, rolling your eyes, "told me I should face my fears and all that."
"You're better off without him," Joel said without even thinking. You laughed and glanced up at him through your lashes.
"You think?"
"'Course. You don't need someone to tell you how to live your life. If you like your job, then why change it? If you're afraid of heights, who cares? Seemed to me like he was tryin' to fix you, and from where I'm sittin', you're-" he cut himself off and looked down at his hands, chewing on the inside of his lip to keep himself from finishing his sentence.
You stared at him for a moment, watching something flicker across his face. "I'm... what?" you asked gently.
He shrugged and took a deep breath. You're perfect, he wanted to say, but instead he went with "you don't need fixin'."
You smiled shyly and poked him in the ribs, making him chuckle.
"Thank you, Joel. You managed to save me from wasting the last day of vacation moping around in bed."
He let you drag him up from the bench so you could continue playing the course, but your conversation kept replaying in his head, distracting him. Even though you weren't a fan of his job, you never once pressured him to find a different one. You accepted him for who he was and it bothered him that Charlie couldn't do the same for you.
Joel watched you with a smile as you bent your head and lined up your putter with your golf ball. A little crease formed between your eyebrows as you focused on the windmill eclipsing the sixth hole, trying to time it just right. How could anybody want to change you? You were so adorable and sweet and you deserved someone who would worship the ground you walked on.
A foolish thought popped into his head and he opened his mouth, about to ask you a question that could possibly change everything.
"What if-"
He cut himself off when you tapped the ball down the turf, both of you watching and holding your breath when your hot pink golf ball managed to avoid the blades of the windmill and dropped into the little plastic cup with a soft clink.
"Holy shit!" you exclaimed, garnering a few odd looks in your direction, but neither of you cared. You dropped your golf club and jumped into his waiting arms, letting Joel spin you around as you both laughed and he told you what a great job you did, deciding it was best he never finished his question, anyway.
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pizzapizzadickz · 2 years
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Asdfghjkl. I just was making an iced coffee for me and my mom and my dad started talking to me and bombarding me with things and joking that I should open a coffee shop and it overwhelmed me so now I feel like crying and my skin is crawling.
Like I know it's not something big but it was a bit too much bc I was trying rly hard to focus and do stuff and I had a meltdown recently so I'm like really close all the time lately.
Ugh. As soon as I start getting overwhelmed sometimes I just want to throw shit out, curl into a ball, and hit myself. But that like not "socially acceptable" or whatever.
#diary#personal#suicidal ideation#i also now feel like i wanna die.#recalling makes it worse.#its been a while since ive got like this.#ugh. ive been watching a lot of autistic tiktoks lately so maybe thats partially why?#self harm#its not rly true self harm it's more of a stim but whatever#ugh. bc its been a while since ive got like this i feel like im just a stupid piece of shit.#like. im not sure how to translate it to words. but i guess like im just adopting these behaviours rather than expressing then myself#bc ive always mimicked things i find interesting#i just sorta always have. mm. i think its good i didnt go to pride. considering i nearly melted down from this.#honestly im still mildly falling apart im just rly good at surpressing stuff... which usually cause me to meldown later.... whoops#i might just get high bc my brain feels fucky. tho idk. i have stuff i wanna do.#drugs tw#but im definitely gonna go curl up in a ball in the dark with my noise canceling headphones#...seriously those r lifesavers when i get bad like this. cuz rather than feeling like theres too much going on ill be able to calm down.#mm. i wanna talk to my friends or something but its a bit too much rn and might cause me to breakdown.#like. its just like when i go to partys n stuff and ill enjoy it at first but then need tp be weird and fuck off bc i got overstimulated#which also always makes me depressed lmao. i always feel so bad bc i cant be normal...#like. how do i explain to you that i need a break without seeming like... idk weird i guess?#anyways ill continue that thought later imma go curl up in bed first before i feel like actual shit.#rn its only mild shit but i dont wanna push this too much lmao
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puppy-steve · 1 month
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april fic rec
a monthly rec list to help me handle my tbr
<- march fic rec ❀ more fic recs ❀ my ao3
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jake from state farm - T, complete @matchingbatbites
tags: modern au, cheating (not between steddie), getting together, valentines day
After a moment the ringing stops, and a voice says "Hello?" "Uh, hi, is this Steve?" "It is, who is this?" "It's Eddie, Jake's roommate? I got your number from him." Well, from his phone when he'd left it unattended one day, but Steve doesn't need to know the details. "I really, really hate to be making this call, especially the day before Valentine's, but uh. Jake is cheating on you."
wrong number - G, complete @steddiealltheway
tags: modern au, texting, getting together, friends to lovers
Steve waits a few more minutes before he makes his way out of the house and goes to his own. Once he gets into his room, he pulls out the piece of paper and types it into his contacts - after messing up the password and struggling to find his contacts. Steve: So not a serial killer I hope? There’s instantly some typing back that worries Steve. Shouldn’t Robin be distracted by her date? Robin: Not a serial killer but you might be… who is this? You intrigue me. Not Robin. Steve’s heart races as he looks at the scrap of paper. Damn scribbled mess.
Baby, It's Cold Outside - T, complete @steviewashere
tags: established relationship, nightmares, ptsd, hurt/comfort, fluff
He was blissfully asleep in bed when a sudden cold shock to his back awoke him. Steve yelped, “Jesus!” And turned around to see who had snuck into his house this early in the morning (it’s only nine) and came face to face with his boyfriend, Eddie. “Eds, what the fuck? Hello? Hi? What happened to those? Christ.”
Am I The Asshole? - N/A, 5.6k, complete cairparavels
tags: modern au, AITA, getting together, autistic eddie, misunderstandings, fuck chad all my homies hate chad
Eddie hates his best friend’s new boyfriend and believes it is proof that he is homophobic. He takes to reddit to find out.
We could plant a house, we could build a tree - E, 3.7k, complete what_about_the_fish
tags: breeding kink, established relationship, feminization
When Eddie's dirty mouth stumbles into an interesting kink that makes Steve moan, they have to explore it further. A messy smut filled ride through Steve's breeding kink.
Come on Baby, Eat the Rich - E, 4.2k, complete nativity_in_black
tags: mild exhibitionism, daddy kink, feminization, dom/sub
“Eddie, we can’t- you know how they are. Just a bunch of rich snobs who think they own the place. What if we get caught?”, he worried aloud, trying to keep his voice steady as Eddie smoothed his hands along Steve’s waist. “Mm,”, Eddie hummed in thought, a mischievous glint in his eyes. Clicking his tongue, he looked back up at Steve, “Guess we’ll just have to be quiet, then. What do you say, baby?”
Come Back To Me - T, 3.8k, complete @beetlesandstarss
tags: major/temporary character death, grief/mourning, angst with a happy ending
“Where— uh. Where are you gonna bury him?” Eddie asks. “We’ve got… We’ve got some of his stuff. A box. We thought maybe…” “That’s a fine idea, son,” Steve’s grandpa says. And then, “Next to his parents seems the most fitting.” And— oh. Oh, God. No. Steve’s parents are— Are they dead too? (Or, Steve dies. And then he comes back.)
Hazy Shade - T, 5k, complete weird_witchcraft
tags: season 2 compliant, canon divergence, eddie gets involved earlier
Eddie stumbles into Merrill’s farm late at night on Sunday, November 4th, 1984 and runs into the last person he’d expect to see: Steve Harrington.
Worth the Effort - T, 9k, complete @solarmorrigan
tags: post-s2, friends to lovers, eddie takes care of steve, sick fic, hurt/comfort
Eddie ambles up and drapes himself against Steve’s locker door, head tossed back and eyelashes fluttering wildly. “Oh, Steve,” he simpers, high and breathy, “aren’t you going to whisk me away for a whirlwind Valentine’s romance?” “I’d love to, but I’m pretty sure I have a stats test tomorrow,” Steve drawls, sending a sidelong smirk at Eddie. “Ugh. Romance is dead,” Eddie declares. - In which Eddie contends with his crush on Steve Harrington, learns what a migraine is, and gets a valentine, more or less in that order.
nice to meet you, where you been? - T, 3/3, complete @flowercrowngods
tags: modern au, tattoo artist steve, friends to lovers, ace steddie, transmasc eddie, i could scream forever about how lovely this fic is
When Eddie enters the tattoo parlour that Chrissy recommended to him, he doesn't know what'll hit him. Never in a million years would he have expected the pastel or the minimalistic decor or how really fucking polished everything about this place is. It's like an antithesis to Eddie's entire existence has been created with the makings of this shop. The absolute cherry on top is the man that walks into the room to greet him, though. Because there is no way that Steve Harrington, whom Eddie had the maddest crush on in high school, owns a tattoo shop. No way. Nuh-uh. Not dressed in pastel like he is. Eddie wants to hate it. But he doesn't account for how genuinely amazing Steve is, or how crushing on him is the easiest thing. Really, it's a losing game from the start.
Mutually Beneficial - E, 1.2k, complete @steddie-island | kintsugi_kid
tags: mean dom eddie, age difference, power imbalance, choking, bottom steve
It had started innocently enough, with Steve getting kicked out as soon as he’d graduated and with Eddie Munson, town outcast, advertising a room for rent and a kid who needed a sitter. Moving in would be mutually beneficial. It evolved into, “Pretty thing, you take care of me… and I’ll take care of you.” Really, how was Steve supposed to argue with that?
Love and Smoke - T, series, WIP @stevieschrodinger
tags: cottage witch steve, snake familiar eddie, fluff
She sighs, rolling over on the couch like Steve’s just committed a huge offense, “I just don’t understand why you're so against it.” “There are a lot of reasons why a familiar is a bad idea Robbie.” And because they’ve been over this what feels like a hundred times, Steve can list them easily, “it’ll be fur or feathers, so not only would they shed on my furniture, and I’ll have fur or whatever everywhere, you know I don’t do so well with bird dander. Makes me sniffly. They get separation anxiety, so they have to go with you everywhere. Not exactly going to be convenient if I pull a- a – dire wolf or something, and you want to go to the movies. And if I leave them home alone, it would be cruel.” “You might get something small and hairless! Like a- a frog!” Rob insists. Steve just rolls his eyes and huffs, “but I might not. So no. Also, a frog? Really?” Not that Steve has anything against frogs particularly, just...where the hell would it stay? The sink? “Steve!” “I said no Robbie, okay. I’m not lonely. I have my garden, my books, I have plenty to do. I see you at the weekend, I see plenty of people at Tuesday Market. I am fine.”
Can I Kiss You? - G, complete @transvampireboyfriend
tags: crushes, first kiss, fluff
“Can I kiss you?” Steve asks, eyes glued to the side of Eddie’s face. Eddie is sitting on his couch and Steve is hanging out across from him, lounging on Wayne’s recliner. He gets to use it whenever Wayne’s at work, with his explicit permission and now priority, since Eddie was jealous enough to start a mock argument and Wayne took Steve’s side just to tease his nephew. So now Eddie has to give that place up whenever Steve’s over. Which, he almost always is, these days.
If Found, Return to Me - G, complete @steviewashere
tags: established relationship, couples t-shirts
He grips the hem of his shirt and tugs. Chin tucked into his neck so that he can read the text, which is bold and black and dark on the white background. ‘If found, return to Steve.’ Eddie groans. “Do we seriously have to wear these?” He whines.
fear the inky blackness of night - T, complete @griefabyss69
tags: post-s4, pre-steddie, steve getting over his fear of the dark
So when Eddie walks into his room, as he does, you know, like a person will just walk into the room he sleeps in, bed and dresser and guitars and all, he doesn’t expect there to just be… A fucking guy in there.
burgundy kiss - E, 6.5k, complete @hawkinsbnbg
tags: soulmates, modern au, dom/sub, under-negotiated kink, daddy kink, light breeding kink
Steve got Good boy inscribed on his butt, just on the right cheek. It would be funny if it was a tattoo Steve had gotten one time when he was too drunk and on a dare. Except it wasn't a tattoo. At all. Even though it kind of looked like one. In truth, it was the first word his soulmate would say to him.
Or, a meet-sexy story where Steve's soulmate is a man of culture.
dance with the devil - E, 2/?, WIP @sourw0lfs
tags: modern au, guardian angel eddie, monster steve, magic
The apartment is quiet around him, the only sound is the rush in his ears from the growing hangover, but it’s not so big he can’t find the owner. When he finally does, Steve actually throws up. If it weren’t for the smallest sliver of still clean blond hair amidst the sea of blood-clump strands, Steve wouldn’t even believe that the mangled corpse in front of him is the same guy as the night before. What the fuck happened? OR: The one where Steve turns 21 and his life turns upside down in the worst ways, complete with gaining the most obnoxious guardian angel known to man
go for it - T, 4.6k, complete @steveseddie | mseg_21
tags: flirting, getting together, pining, first kiss
Steve huffs. “What makes you so sure that you can convince me?” He asks with an arched eyebrow. “The kids have tried and failed and you know how relentless they are.” “Yeah, but I can be very persuasive.” He gestures at himself with a hand flourish. “You know, as a cult leader and all.” Steve hums. “Of course.” He leans his hip against the counter, only an inch away from Eddie’s thigh. “There’s gotta be something I can do to convince you,” Eddie says, moving his thigh until it touches Steve’s hip. “Something I can give you in exchange. To make it worth your while.” Steve’s eyes immediately dart down to Eddie’s lips. Eddie’s stomach swoops. There it is. or Eddie and Steve finally stop dancing around each other- too bad that the Hellfire Club is there to witness it
The Hawk - T, series, WIP @fastcardotmp3
tags: nancy wheeler centric, "the bear" au, multi pov, grief/mourning, character studies
A "The Bear" AU about the restaurant that falls into Nancy Wheeler's lap and the people that help her make it more than a burden. (Ensemble, Multi-POV)
the sweetest thing - E, 7/7, complete @cranberrymoons
tags: no nut november, established relationship, dom/sub undertones
It had started out simple enough between them, Eddie making some off-hand comment about Steve not being able to hold out for a whole month and Steve, ever unable to back down from a challenge, rising to the bait. “Whatever,” he’d said, rolling his eyes. “A month? Please.” He could do a month. Easy. He just hadn't counted on Eddie being – well. Himself. eddie goads steve into a No Nut November challenge; he never said anything about taking it easy on him
The Hole Story - E, series, complete @griefabyss69
tags: pre-relationship, fantasizing, slow burn, rimming
Steve wishes he hates the way he can't stop thinking about Eddie's tongue.
surface-level freak - E, 7k, complete @starryeyedjanai
tags: modern au, transmasc steve, werewolf eddie, human steve
Steve Harrington, Werewolf Fucker. He thinks he should be able to put that on his business card, but Robin says it's a little crass.
But My Heart Is Just A Little Boy - T, 2k, complete Atalia_Gold
tags: established relationship, hurt/comfort, steve has dyscalculia
“Look, just carry on without me,” Steve muttered, and stood up quick enough that his chair scraped on the floor. “Steve -” Dustin started, but Steve was finished, striding towards the stairs and blinking back tears. He wasn’t going to cry in front of the kids, not over a fucking game, not over something his boyfriend loved so much. But they were coming faster than he could blink them back as he headed out of Mike’s stuffy basement and out to the driveway, the cold night air caressing his flushed face. This was supposed to have been a treat for Eddie. It was supposed to be fun, and Steve had ruined the night by being fucking stupid. ***** Steve wanted to surprise Eddie by joining in on D&D. Unfortunately, he's struggling with the math involved, and the kids aren't making it any easier.
Just a Shirt - T, 1k, complete @shares-a-vest
tags: established relationship, fluff, love confessions
Eddie makes Steve a customised Hellfire shirt, just for him.
The Taste of the Divine - E, 4.3k, complete tsmkeeler
tags: steddie as roommates, phone sex operator eddie, dom/sub, getting together
The exhale Steve was releasing staggered, and Eddie’s ears caught what sounded like Steve’s moan. The shuffling on the other side of the line reminded him he was on the clock and this was a good paying customer. He couldn’t just drop the line to handle Steve. He just needed to get him back in position and doing something, then he could get Steve out of there. He made a correcting noise. “On. Your. Knees.” Little brat thought he could do whatever he wanted for the pleasure. To Eddie’s surprise, Steve lowered to his knees. His chin tilted to his chest, hands on the tops of his thighs. He was sitting so pretty. What was stiff was now throbbing against the rough material of his dark jeans. “Yes, sir,” Steve replied breathily. Surely, Eddie was asleep and this was a night fantasy well beyond his best daydreams. There was no way. No fucking way. OR Steve and Eddie aren't only co-workers, they're roommates. While working his second job late at night, Eddie forgets to close the door and is pleasantly surprised by his roommates willingness to join him.
The Right Wrong Number - M, 8/8, complete @apomaro-mellow
tags: wrong number, getting together, phone sex, first meetings, modern au
Steve gets the wrong number and starts texting an interesting guy.
Kinktober 2023 - E, 19/19, complete @stevesjockstrap | deansdemondick
tags: kinktober, multiple pairings
Kinky Drabbles for October 😈
The End Of The Line - E, 6.4k, complete entanglednow
tags: post-s4, nightmares, (platonic) mutual masturbation, phone sex, feelings realization, fantasies, humor (like so much humor this fic made me laugh so hard)
Eddie knows better than to ignore a phone ringing in the middle of the night. After everything they've done for him the least he can do is be there for a friend in need.
Never Caught my Breath - E, 6.1k, complete @emchant3d
tags: established relationship, dom/sub, service dom eddie, role reversal (kind of), needy dom eddie, transmasc steve, daddy kink
“I know you had a long, long day,” he tells him, his touch tracing down, down, down, Eddie’s torso shivering beneath the ticklish drag of his hand, “so why don’t you just let me take care of you, huh? Does that sound nice?” “Yeah, baby,” Eddie says, barely more than a whisper. “Yeah, that sounds real fuckin’ nice.” Eddie works too hard. Steve helps him relax.
You're the Missing Piece - E, 7.9k, complete brokenpromisesandhope
tags: modern au, established stancy, polyamory negotiations, 5+1, stoncy endgame, exhibitionism,my first stoncy read and it made me feel Emotions idk
5 times Steve, Nancy and Jonathan had sex without each other and one time they did it together.
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thepenultimateword · 9 months
Note
please write some fluff hero x hero as they’re trying to retire to get married and settle down 🙏🙏
tbh retirement age for hero’s must be like 30 at the latest. I don’t think they last long.
“Noooo,” Hero groaned, slapping their palms over their eyes
Other Hero paused in the middle of their dark decor, fanged mask in hand. “What?”
“You’re not hanging that in our living room!”
“How’s that any different?” Other Hero said, pointing at the candy blue cape hung on the other wall.
“It pops! Brings some warmth to the room. People like warmth not…” they made a circular wave at the dark mask, “reminders of their fading mortality.”
“Oh, right, that would be bad, we’ll just give them a headache instead.”
Hero stomped their feet together and folded their arms. “You liked it!”
“I liked it better on you.” They stepped up to their angry newlywed, tucking a piece of honied hair behind their ear. “Too big for you. So adorable and bright. It brought out your eyes.”
Their fingers trailed down their jaw.
Hero leaned in on tiptoe, noses just brushing, voice lowered to a whisper. “I don’t want the mask over the hearth.”
“Curse it!”
“But. To make it fair I’ll move the cape as well. Oh! Maybe let’s just have a show room! Dedicated to our mementos! A Hero and Other Hero collection. People would pay to see that!”
Other Hero shrugged. “They’ll forget about us soon enough.”
Hero's bright grin faded and their petite form wilted. Retirement wasn't as simple as they'd thought. It all made sense in their head; they wanted to live comfortably with Other Hero. So many times in their career they'd thought it would never happen. That one of them would meet an untimely end before they made this far. The last month had been torture. They'd probably called Other Hero's mission comm over a hundred times, checking in on them. And no, they weren't so old, but their bodies couldn't take the strain of the job anymore. They deserved to take it easy. And yet. Was that it?
They'd dedicated their life to helping this city, time, relationships, their own well-being. And it was nothing more than a blip in history. Other Hero was right. New heroes would step up to replace them and soon no one would even remember the two of them or anything they'd done.
Strong arms wrapped around their waist, and Other Hero's chin rested in the crook of the shoulder. "I'm sorry."
"Mm. Doesn't matter."
Other Hero traced the scars spattered over Hero's neck. "Yes, it does."
Hero turned around, sinking against their spouse's chest and reaching to cup their face in both hands. They roved the worn eyes, several-times-broken crooked nose, and the dark circles that still hadn't faded.
"More nightmares? You were tossing and turning last night."
"I guess I'm still getting used to not being on call."
Liar. That was one thing Hero wouldn't miss. They were going to spoil Other Hero rotten until all those inner scars faded away.
They looped their arms around Other Hero's neck. "Hey, remember when I used to sneak into your side of the agency?"
Other Hero snorted. "We got penalized at least a dozen times."
"Those dating rules were ridiculous. No relationships between departments?"
"To be fair, you were a TV hero," Other Hero said, rubbing circles into Hero's back. "You needed to be preserved. My training was to put the job above my life. They didn't want me getting attachments."
Another thing they wouldn't miss.
"I loved you from the moment I saw you." Hero grinned. "They didn't stand a chance."
The next thing they knew they were off the ground and in Other Hero's arm. "Everything is going to be ok," they murmured. "Yeah?"
Hero nodded, basking in the quiet warmth and the weight of their arms. After several moments, they said, "Should we start unpacking the kitchen? I'll make brownies. And this time we won't have to run out the door before they're done."
Other Hero kissed their forehead. "Sounds perfect."
Master Taglist:
@moss-tombstone @crazytwentythrees-deactivated @just-1-lonely-person @the-vagabond-nun @willow-trees-are-beautiful @cocoasprite @insanedreamer7905 @valiantlytransparentwhispers @whovian378 @watercolorfreckles @thebluepolarbear @yulanlavender @kitsunesakii @deflated-bouncingball @lem-hhn @office-plant-in-a-trenchcoat @ghostfacepepper @pigeonwhumps @demonictumble @inkbirdie @vuvulia @bouncyartist @lunatic-moss-studio @breilobrealdi @freefallingup13 @i-am-a-story-goblin @ryunniez @rainy-knights-of-villany @distractedlydistracted @saspas-corner @echoednonny @perilous-dreamer @blood-enthusiast @randomfixation @alexkolax @pksnowie @blessupblessup @wolfeyedwitch @thedeepvoidinmyheart @cornflower-cowboy @bestblob @a-chaotic-gremlin @espresso-depresso-system @prompt-fills-and-writing-spills @paleassprince @takingawildbreath @yindo @psychiclibrariesquotestoad @harpycartoons @pickleking8 @urmyhopeeee @goldenflame2516 @tobeornottobeateacher @talesofurbania1 @sweetsigyn
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faulty-writes · 1 year
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Hello there I hope requests are still open. Could you do headcanons for Sero Hanta and Fumikage Tokoyami finding out their girlfriend slept around a lot with other boys from their class and/or other classes as well ? Absolutly no slut shaming just those two (separatly) discovering her history through their friends, maybe someone rubbing in their face the fact that they were ex-friends with benefits with her, please ? Sorry if this is a weird request askrkdkdi thank you !
[ Eh, I feel like this is probably more or less a normal aspect of certain relationships. Personally, I don't care who sleeps with who. But I'm happy you requested characters that don't normally get requested, I hope I did them justice! ]
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"Yeah, not to brag but Y/n and I are going pretty steady!" Hanta was always so happy to talk about you, even if others didn't want to hear it. Then again, why shouldn't he tell everyone that the coolest girl in class is his?
"Hm?" he normally didn't listen to rumors and Mineta was girl-crazy enough to make anything up but there was something genuine about his words. "Ya gotta believe me, man! She's been around! Ask anyone!" he declared, but Hanta ultimately chose to ignore him.
"What's going on here?" he demanded, having spotted you with Eijirou who appeared to have you cornered against the wall. "Nothing," the redhead stated before walking away. "Let me know if you ever wanna take a spin on me again babe!" Hanta narrowed his eyes, now his suspicions were raised.
"Do I really have to spell it out for you man!?" Eijirou said crossing his arms. "Y/n and I go way back and frankly, we had a bit of a friends-with-benefits thing going on and it's fine if you don't believe me. Just go ask some of the General Studies students" he suggested, making Hanta frown.
"Yeah, I've heard she's slept around with some of the guys from Class B," Chikuchi replied bluntly, she didn't favor talking to any hero students from Class A. "Don't know what the thrill in that is," she said rolling her eyes and waving Hanta's concerns away.
"Oh, pity you're Y/n's latest boy toy. Well, at least their performance in bed was satisfactory," Neito declared before Hanta silenced him with his tape. "Shut up!" he snapped, knowing this situation had gone too far. Why did you sleep with so many people before you and he started dating? Well, there was only one way to find out.
"I fail to see how this is of any relevant importance. What one does before an established relationship is their private information, although it appears as if others have disregarded Y/n's wishes for it to remain private. However, as it stands, I believe Y/n is quite dedicated to you," Tenya explained, Hanta had sought him out to get advice. "Mm...I guess but I still have to talk to them about this," he concluded.
It was a hard conversation, but Hanta appreciated your honesty. "I mean I guess you're right..." having sex with someone you didn't love was pointless. What you and he had created meant much more than a good romp in the hay. "But I'm not going to tolerate people talking about you anymore! Next time, they'll get more than just my tape around their mouth!" he declared, pulling you close with a smile.
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Fumikage was seen as a calm and logical individual, but when his emotions were involved, he tended to act out of this perceived persona. This was especially true when it came to you, the one he adored and vowed to protect.
Fumikage was proud to say he was involved with one of the kindest females in Class A, who always tried her best to understand others. But he also knew that you tended to be a people pleaser and put others' wishes above your own, and this is the exact thing that led him to find out about your past endeavors.
At first, he thought nothing of it. What happened in your past was your business and yet he still felt the harsh sting of jealousy when Kaminari admitted a certain piece of information. "Yeah, Y/n and I had a few bedroom moments together but hey! If you're happy with her, that's all that counts right?"
He knew that believing something blindly was not wise, so he had made the choice to further investigate this matter. But when discussing the matter with Hitoshi Shinso, things got heated. "I would appreciate it if you stopped speaking about Y/n that way," he stated. "Yeah, what's your problem anyway!?" Dark Shadow demanded, continuing to press Hitoshi against the wall who merely smirked in response.
"Why can't those guys learn how to be quiet!?" Dark Shadow hissed, clearly upset when more and more rumors about your past started floating around. "To think Y/n has done such things with others I..." he grumbled, trying to keep a calm mind. Surely there had to be an explanation for your behavior.
"I...I do not know how I feel about this," he said, clearly frustrated as he stared at his phone contemplating if he should text you or not. He knew demanding an answer out of you wasn't right, and while he had no doubts that you were loyal to him and him alone. Knowing you were so intimately close to others in the past while he had yet gotten a taste of it was disheartening.
"Please explain, why is it that you so easily gave yourself to others but..." he glanced away, not wanting to cause a fight. He knew his words would hurt you despite that being the last thing he wished to do. It wasn't easy for you to admit that you were a people pleaser and up until you met Fumikage who put your needs first, you slept around because you thought that's what the boys wanted.
He knew that what you and he had was special and that he couldn't push certain relationship goals. But unlike those in your past, he held the rights to your heart, mind, and soul. The three things he vowed never to lose.
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mabelstone · 8 months
Note
okay but.. hear me out on this.. song one shot of 'Diet Mountain Dew' by Lana Del Rey!!! (you can pick who it is :)) - the same person who asked for enchanted!!
White Pontiac Heaven
matt stone x reader
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one of my fav lana songs ever, thank you for the req <3
summary: you're know you're just the 'side piece,' but his secretive, sweet nothings are enough to keep you wanting more
CW: cigarette smoking, fingering, oral sex while driving (m receiving), size kink if u squint super hard, the term "pretty p*ssy" is thrown around a few times soz, I DON'T CONDONE UNSAFE DRIVING!! we have beds for a reason
focus lyrics:
there in his white pontiac heaven; do you think we'll be in love forever?
take another drag, turn me to ashes, ready for another lie
you're no good for me, but baby, i want you
You always made an effort to look pretty for him, knowing you'd succeeded each time he complimented you. You had your hair in a half up, half down do, a white ribbon wrapped around your loose curls. You wore a matching thigh length satin dress with three inch heels with a dainty golden buckle.
He picked met you outside, standing beside his new convertible. Always such a show off. He wolf whistled as you walked toward him, causing your cheeks to match the pretty pink panties he'd later take off you.
"Good morning, Matt," you blushed as you reached the car.
He took your hand in his, brazenly scanning your outfit as he took your hand, leading you to the passenger side. "It is a good morning, isn't it?"
"So, how long are you planning on keeping this one?"
"Until I get bored, I guess," he chuckled, slamming your door before slipping into the drivers side. The car was nice, ridiculously shiny, all red leather interior with an old fashioned steering wheel.
"So give it, what, three months?" You teased, sliding on your sunglasses as it was your turn to watch him now.
"Don't act like you're complaining, sweetheart." He started the ignition, defined muscles flexing with every movement. He wore a white cotton button down with the sleeves rolled up slightly, black slacks hugging his lower half. Short praline curls that moved delicately in the breeze, sunglasses of his own hiding those enchanting emerald eyes.
"I'm not," you defended with a soft smile. His hand found its way to your thigh, your heart leaping in your chest. "Where're we going?"
"Canadaigua Lake," he smiled back, eyes still glued to the road. "Smoke?" He asked, pulling his hand away from your thigh to open the glovebox, pulling out a pack of Marlboro's. You never were a smoker, but you knew he liked it when you joined in with him.
You nodded, taking a cigarette from the box and placing it between your lips. Left hand still on the wheel, he used his right hand to light the cigarette, you cupping your own in front of the lighter so the wind wouldn't extinguish the flame. You took a drag, the burn that was growing all too familiar gracing your tongue and throat, the thick, heavy, yet soft smoke spreading through your chest. He grinned at you from his seat, "you're getting good, you know."
You picked up another cigarette, placing it between his lips this time. You cupped your hands around the lighter for him as you did for yourself, watching the tip of the cigarette turn red as he took a drag.
"At what, smoking?"
He nodded, taking another long drag. He blew the smoke out into the open air, eyes on the road as he affirmed, "mm, turns me on."
"Yeah?" You blushed, already getting that tingling feeling inside you that seemed to creep up on you far quicker with Matt than any other sexual partner.
"What you got on under that?" He gestured to your dress, already halfway through his cigarette.
You pulled your dress up by the hemming enough to reveal your panties and your lower stomach, your stomach flipping at the soft groan that escaped his lips.
"Are those new?"
"Mhm, got new ones just for you." You went to pull the dress back down when you were halted by Matt's swift hand, switching his smoke to his hand on the wheel, careful to not burn your dress.
You moved your hands, letting him take over. You brought your own cigarette back to your lips, blinking innocently at him over the top of your glasses. "So you like them?"
"Take them off," he instructed, fingers now hooking into the top of the silky material.
"You're driving," you protested, yet his hands didn't move, only impatiently tugging at them now.
You pushed yourself up by your heels, cigarette between your teeth as you slipped your panties down, pulling them off around your ankles and placing them in Matt's expectant hand, which was now extended for you.
You were driving on a long open road, and there were hardly any other cars around, so you felt... as safe as you could, I guess. Any rationality you had, however, was thrown out the window when he brought the pink silk to his mouth, licking over the wet patch that had formed embarrassingly early.
You breath hitched in your throat at the sight, moving your legs out of the way as he slipped your panties into his glovebox. You threw the rest of your cigarette out of the car. His fingers found their way to your folds, sliding his fingers through your slick, sending a shudder through your body. He pulled his fingers away, running his tongue over your arousal.
"Tastes so good," he groaned, fingers immediately moving back to your heat, rubbing small circles into your clit. Your legs reflexively spread, your small hand placed on top of his much larger one, impatiently guiding his fingers to your entrance. He chuckled deeply, abandoning his own cigarette butt before slipping a digit into your tight entrance. The feeling caused you to throw your head back, his talented, slender fingers deep enough inside of you to blur your vision. He slipped in another, a pretty gasp tripping over your tongue and falling past your lips, your back arching under his touch.
"Touch yourself too, wanna feel that pretty pussy cum."
You nodded, pretty much on autopilot, your fingers slipping down to circle your clit. He continued to fuck you with his fingers, occasionally scissoring them, the prettiest sounds of approval leaving your mouth.
"Matt," you whimpered, your legs beginning to tremble as your orgasm got closer and closer.
"Don't stop, baby," he coaxed, his fingers sinking deeper into your heat, hitting your g-spot repeatedly, your breathing growing erratic.
Your head fell back against the headrest, rolling your head to the side to watch him. One hand on the wheel, the other pumping relentlessly, your climax approaching tenfold. He looked to you, hooded eyelids shifting between you and the road, soft words of encouragement leaving his mouth.
"Matt, I- mmh-"
"That's it baby, cum for me," he spurred, struggling to focus on the road as you came undone around his fingers, whining a mantra of obscenities and his name as you internally convulsed with pleasure. "God, you're so fucking good, good girl."
You rode out your orgasm, legs trembling uncontrollably, eyes rolling to the back of your head, swiftly pulling his hand away when you became too sensitive.
"I should pull over and fuck you right now," he confessed, fingers finding their way back to his mouth as he sucked them clean.
"Let me return the favour," you offered breathlessly, unbuckling your seatbelt as you turned to face him. He grinned down at you, watching your nimble fingers make quick work of discarding his belt, tossing it by your feet. You unzipped his fly, pulling his briefs down to free his painfully hard cock, already leaking with precum.
Wasting no time, you wrapped your lips around the pretty pink tip, swirling your tongue around it, tasting his arousal this time. He let out a gasp when your soft lips met his tip, feminine whines replacing his soft gaps when your lips slid down his shift. You hollowed your cheeks as you took more of him, sliding your mouth up and down, tongue flat against his shaft, just the way he liked it. His fingers thread into your hair, urging you to take more of him. You breathed deep through your nose, taking his full length, your nose connecting with the soft tuft of hair on his pubic bone.
"Don't you dare stop," he warned, his grip on your hair tightening as he began guiding you along his length. You hummed in understanding, swallowing around him to your best abilities. You quickened your pace, continuing to swirl your tongue each time you reached the tip, feeling his cock flex against your tongue. His hand reached down to your ass, his arm long enough to slip under you, fingers wedging into you once again.
You moaned around him as he toyed with your clit, the vibrations causing him to moan out, knuckles white from how hard he was gripping the wheel. He bucked his hips slightly, causing you to gag around him. The combination of your warm mouth around him with your pussy around his fingers was enough to send him far over the edge, "I'm gonna cum, baby."
His voice pitchy, grip on your hair so tight that tears pricked at your eyes, hot ribbons of cum shooting across your tongue. You continued swallowing around him, the taste of him dripping down your throat. He moaned like a female pornstar, your pussy throbbing at the sound alone. You slowly pulled off, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, lips dark red and swollen.
"Holy fuck, I nearly crashed," he laughed breathily, swiping a finger over your lips tenderly.
"Is there a roof for this thing?"
(did not proof read)
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seraphiism · 5 months
Text
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𓆩 ♡ 𓆪 ┊ 𝐍𝐎 𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍 , 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐄𝐑
( i've been trying to go home my whole life. )
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chara : kaveh fandom : genshin impact quote cr : chelsea dingman a/n : meant to be platonic! part of @favonius-library's 2023 secret santa gift exchange! happy late holidays @stellar-skyy ('▽^人)
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i. BUT THERE IS ALWAYS A LONELINESS IN UNBELONGING, A GRIEF IN THE HARBOR OF GUILT, AND IN THE HEART & HOME OF AN ARCHITECT, THERE IS AN INCREDIBLE SORROW.
ask a thousand people what home means and you will surely receive many answers : a place, a person, a reason. ask a thousand people what home means and you will surely be blessed with gentle tones and the faintest smiles in recollection of diamond days.
ask kaveh what home means and he will not know, not anymore. he remembers days past, but that time was long ago, and it is no more. now, he is not sure what home means, not sure where it is, even in the knowing of the place he returns to at the end of the day.
"home is..." his words drift off, die down. he goes silent, deep in thought.
you sit across from each other in that familiar cafe, the air so deafening from his lack of response, yet so loud in the idle conversations of other patrons. he stares at his reflection in the teacup placed before him, notes that strange reluctance that adorns his features.
you do not push; you do not press. you do not rush him, nor do you change the conversation.
"...i don't know." he admits. he looks up, finally, and when your eyes meet that comforting crimson, there is a quiet longing for those he lost and those he misses. "i should know, shouldn't i?"
you smile, sad.
"not everyone knows, kaveh." you answer. the tip of your tongue feels numb, the words heavy and filled with more uncertainty than you'd like. "i hope you find the answer you're looking for."
ii. kaveh finds himself working in your atelier often. maybe it's the company that makes life a little better, eases the difficult thoughts that cloud his mind when he's overwhelmed from the woes of his job. the drafts scattered about on the desk are long forgotten, scribbles prominent here and there. he pauses, stretches his arms, lets out a deep breath. hours and hours of work, stagnant in progression. he can't think, can't seem to put the missing pieces together.
he watches the sight before him : you, your focused gaze, your mindful movements as you work the clay, shaping it ever so carefully.
he always finds fascination in your work-- he's seen it and the end results a thousand times over, but he never tires of it. you reciprocate the same feelings when it comes to his craft, you tell him, but he always brushes it off, all too modest, all too underestimating of himself.
"do you worry that it'll break?"
"mm?" your train of thought is disrupted by his words. you can't help but raise a brow, amused at how he slumps over your desk, chin resting on the heel of his hand. "what, the vases and all?"
he nods.
you shrug, nonchalant. "sometimes, yeah. but not everything broken has to stay broken, right? there's always a way of recovering, i guess." you hum, musing over the question. "it's not always a bad thing, the breaking. you can always come back from it, somehow."
he doesn't answer, not for a long while. you both remain in silence as his fingers trace over the lines on his blueprints, your fingers smoothing over the clay.
now, it is his turn to ask.
"do you know what home is?"
your lips curve into a small smile at his question. it is a familiar one.
"here, i think."
"your atelier?"
"yes, and you."
his movements stop at the answer. he sits up a little straighter, tilts his head in that one specific way when he's curious.
"me?"
you laugh softly. "yeah. home doesn't always have to be a place, you know?"
he stares at you for a long while before glancing down at the drafts once more, and with a clear mind and just the gentlest of smiles, he begins to work again.
iii. kaveh keeps that moment very close to his heart. he thinks about it often, thinks about a lot of things often, really.
he thinks about your words-- the way you were the first to ask what home was, the way you so casually noted him as one of your many definitions of home.
he stares up at the night sky, observes the stars. they're always brilliant, radiant, so vastly known. he tries to remember everything tighnari taught him, but he can only absorb so much knowledge from his fellow colleague, and there is a fondness in his eyes as he reminisces.
"home isn't always a place."
your gaze shifts from the skies to him. you can tell he's thinking hard about something-- his brows knit just the slightest bit, the words you once said well remembered and recited.
"yes," you answer, "home isn't always a place." a moment of serenity, of quiet. "did you find it, kaveh? the answer you're looking for?"
you do not push; you do not press. you do not rush him. instead, you watch the moon, note how bright she is on this fragile night.
he thinks about his family, his parents, the friends he's lost and found, thinks about the ones he cherishes. maybe he never lost home in the midst of tragedies-- maybe it just changed after all his hardships. maybe his home lies in the nostalgia, the memories of good times. maybe home is with you, maybe home is with his many friends.
he looks to the stars once more, closes his eyes. his lips curve into something so incredibly kind and gentle that you cannot help but smile, too.
"yes," he finally says, "i know what home is."
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natasha-in-space · 5 months
Text
'Why do you love rika. I love rika myself as well. Tbh for me its like, the more I stay in mysme fandom the more my love and appreciation for rika grows. It initially started as me being angry at the double standards of the most asian media fandoms in general cuz i realised that rika would have been more well loved if she was a man, people would use the male!rika's trauma to justify his actions and this thought has made me angry and made me "appreciate" rika out of spite. But it eventually has grown into a genuine appreciation for her. Idk how to explain but something inside me makes me want to protect her and save her from everything happened to her leading upto the current situation. And more hate she gets more i feel the desire to defend her.
Actually my no 1 is another character and he has a place of his own which no one could take (its yoosung btw) but rika...i think she might be a close second fave i guess - anon'
I accidentally messed up your ask, so I'll be replying in this way instead!
Thank you for the question, dear anon! I'm always giddy to chitchat about these things. I do want to prelude this by saying that this is not really a proper analysis, but more of me just writing out my personal feelings. I might try my hand at actual analysis one day, but, for now, I'm just sharing my own interpretations!
Mystic Messenger is probably the only fandom I have been in since... well, since it has formed, basically. It's wild to think about sometimes. Things are very different in our little space now, compared to how it was before. Public perception of Rika is one of those things. I can totally resonate with your frustrations on that front, unfortunately. I know many folks miss the time when the fandom was bigger, but... personally, I don't. Especially as a Rika fan. It was borderline exhausting trying to curate your fandom space as a Rika fan at the time. Hell, we had full blogs dedicated to solely hating on her, a fictional character, and people who expressed their love for her. And that's just here on Tumblr. People used to full on write hate comments under every single seasonal CG with Rika in it. It was terrible, and very, very disheartening to see. Especially since most Rika fans I've met over the years are the sweetest people. Granted, there is a case to be made for practically every mm character, and how the fandom may have misinterpreted them in one way or another, so it's not just a Rika problem. Just that she was majorly disliked.
If anything, I'm very happy Cheritz still continued to include Rika in the seasonal events despite it all. Props to them on that front.
Right now, thankfully, things are much more peaceful and respectful. Rika is definitely not the more popular character, but now you can openly express your love for her in the fandom space, without fear of being harassed. I'd say that's a great win for us!
That being said, as to why I love Rika... Hm, it's interesting to put it into words. I didn't have a strong opinion on her until V's route came out. I never really shared the collective hatred of her, but I didn't love her either, you know? V's route came out during a pretty rough patch in my life, and I think that helped me get personally invested in what it had to tell. Rika actually feels like a fleshed out character with many nuances, and that instantly made me interested in paying close attention to what they wanted to do with her.
Rika is complicated, to say the least. She always was, but, with all the added content to her story that Cheritz have put out over the years, her complexity only evolved further. I love that about her. I love morally dubious characters who's mind you have to carefully study and pick apart piece by piece in order to understand them. I love how she is not really a villain in a traditional sense. She is not actively pursuing harm on anybody, not in her eyes. It is fascinating to me how different her view point is, compared to those around her. How skewed her perception of the world around her grows over the years. It's both scary and captivating.
So, it started with fascination. Appreciation for her character and a desire to delve deeper into what makes her who she is today. I think... my appreciation has grown into love when her Behind Story came out. I know many folks have very complicated feelings towards it, especially since it came out alongside V's After End and its unfortunate push for forgiveness, but I never really viewed Cheritz establishing Rika's past as an attempt to wash her of her sins. It just came out at a very bad timing is all. If her Behind Story came out a bit later, I think public opinion of it would have been different. It's a shame that their huge mess up with the message in V's After Ending sabotaged it like that.
Thing is, Rika wouldn't be as compelling and interesting as she is, if she was truly innocent. That being said, I... relate to her struggles on a deeply personal level. Not as deeply as I do with Saeran, but her story and her struggles do make me choke up to this day. Because, in a way, I see my past self in her. Being able to read through her story, her thoughts, and her feelings have really made me form a genuine fondness to her. Her religious trauma, her painful path of learning to survive in an environment that actively tries to harm you at every possibility, her fears of being the devil everyone says she is, her inability to accept and love herself, because all she has ever known is pain, danger and hatred... It hurts. I think, everyone has that little voice inside their head. Telling them that they are bad and undeserving of the love people close to them are expressing. That everyone actually hates them. That there is something inherently wrong with them. It's heartbreaking that, in Rika's case, this voice has eventually consumed her to the point of no return.
When you are an abused child, who knows nothing but the hostile world they have at home, it will follow you into every crook and cranny of your life. Even when you're not home, even when you're 'safe', your mind and body will still be on high alert, as it's natural to try and keep yourself safe from harm. Rika's fear of the world around her, her deep inner self-hatred is something I have experienced as an abused child/young teen. It's debilitating, and it's heartwrenching to think that so many people have to suffer like this.
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I think the beauty of her story to me is the sheer tragedy of it. It's a tough pill to swallow, but people are not born evil. She has done horrible, immoral and unforgivable things, and yet, in some twisted sense, her heart was not filled with malice as she did so. She believed she was saving Saeran, she believed she was providing her believers the safety and love they couldn't get elsewhere, she believed she was trying to show her old friends the truth by taking them to her side. Of course, none of those things are actually true. Her real intentions were selfish, albeit not evil. A desperation to be loved and not abandoned. That dichotomy is both beautiful and tragic to me. (Some of these are very bad quality bc I can't screenshot stuff right now)
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Of course, there's also the whole V/Rika debacle. Personally, I never put all of the responsibility onto either one of them. That takes away the beautiful tragedy of their shared bond. V - or, Jihyun - genuinely cares deeply for her. He is heartbroken at all the suffering he sees her go through during his route. Of course, it's not just his care for Rika at play, but we're not talking about him right now. While, for Rika, he was her only anchor, her light, the one person who saw the real her and accepted her instead of forsaking her. At least that's what she thought. Rika and V are two very hurt and troubled individuals who have met each other at the worst possible time. And that makes it so sad to me. Neither him nor Rika truly wanted to harm one another. Whether there was any romantic love between them or not, they did care for one another deeply. Too deeply, even. Clinging to one another in order to satiate the emptiness they had inside, each in their own toxic way. It was not healthy. But it was genuine.
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And I love tragic bonds, be it romantic or not. There is something compelling about two people who do want the best for one another just causing more harm than good. It's also painfully truthful. Not to such an extreme, but the struggle of doing what's best with no direction is one many can relate to.
I guess, to conclude this all, I'd say I love Rika for her complexity most of all. There are so many layers to her, and her story is truly a heartbreaking one to behold. But, God, is it beautiful, too.
Also, may I just add, her voice actress is absolutely amazing? She puts her all into playing Rika, and her story wouldn't be as moving if it wasn't for her breathtaking work. Her voice acting made me cry a whole lot of times.
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cainluvr69 · 5 months
Text
Surely, We Can Make Miracles Chapter 21
Previous Chapter
Arthur: We've followed the mermaids a pretty long way…
Cain: Are we coming up on Adams Island yet…?
Rutile: …Oh! I can see something, over that way!
Chloe: …You're right… Are those…buildings…?
Murr: That's Adams Island! I wonder if the beautiful stone staircases it was known for are still in one piece?
Rustica: You've been to the island before, Murr?
Murr: Yep! Aaaages ago, though!
Cain: There are a lot of overhangs around here. Everyone, be careful you don't run into them.
Chloe: Okay… The mermaids are all swimming pretty close to the ground…
Arthur: …Mm, with all the sand swirling around, it's kind of hard to see. Be careful, everyone…!
Cain: Gotcha!
Rutile & Chloe: Okay!
✦✧☾✧✦
Arthur: … …Now that the sand's mostly settled, it's really starting to look like a city…
Rustica: …What a mystical landscape… It's hard to imagine that long in the past, people walked through these streets…
Cain: …I can see something carved into this monument…it's pretty faint…
Rutile: …Coral Road… Is this the street's name…?
Murr: Oh, I'm feeling downright nostalgic! I used to walk through this part of town a lot! I'd sit in the window seat of that cafe there with a book or two… …!
Arthur: …!
Chloe: Wh-what? What is it?!
Arthur: Something's coming closer…
Rutile: "Something"…?
Rustica: We should hide ourselves.
Cain: But…
Arthur: Rustica's right. It's something that we have absolutely no chance of defeating.
Cain: …
Murr: …
Rutile: …
Chloe: …
Rustica: …
Arthur: …
Hwylryn: My, my. A whole flock of wizards.
Arthur: …A young man with a silver bracelet…?
Rutile: Hwylryn…?
Hwylryn: Oh, you were with Akira.
Rustica: <Amores Viesse>
Hwylryn: Wah… What a pretty song…
Murr: Let's move now. We need to get away before Rustica's spell wears off.
Cain: Murr?!
Murr: Or we're gonna get slaughtered.
Chloe: Wh-what…?
Hwylryn: …It's so lovely…
Rutile: He wouldn't…! Hwylryn isn't that kind of person…
Arthur: …gasp… …I forgot to breathe… …He rivals Lord Oz…
✦✧☾✧✦
Akira: You can feel the cintamani stone from…this direction…?
Oz: Yes.
Heathcliff: This ship is so big… I wish I could've seen it before it sank.
Shino: There's mana stones here and there… I wonder if they're the stones of the wizard who'd been steering this thing.
Faust: I believe her name was Melissa. Murr's acquaintance…
Oz: It should be here.
Shino: There's nothing but treasure chests in here…
Faust: Should we just start opening them at random?
Akira: …No, wait… Look at that smaller chest…
Heathcliff: This one?
Akira: Yes. If this cintamani stone is the same size as the one on Hwylryn's bracelet, that should be about the right size for it…
Heathcliff: Then I'm going to open this one with my magic. <Repsev Aivulp Sunos> …Huh?
Oz: There is a seal placed on it.
Faust: I guess we're just going to have to force it.
Shino: Hey. That's way more crude than your usual methods.
Heathcliff: It seems like a pretty simple seal… It should come undone pretty easily…
Akira: Do you think you can do it?
Heathcliff: It's not like I'd be able to open any seal you put in front of me, but Nero taught me a bit about it… …Okay… <Repsev Aivulp Sunos> It opened…!
Shino: You did it, Heath!
Vespa: …! …!
Faust: So this is a cintamani stone… I've never seen one before.
Heathcliff: Really, you haven't?
Faust: Nope. Oz, can you confirm that's actually what this is?
Oz: Yes.
I peeked inside the chest. There was a beautiful blue gem inside, one that looked the same as the one that had been set in Hwylryn's bracelet.
Akira: …This is the cintamani stone of medicine… We can save Snow and White with this!
Oz: Correct.
Oz smiled, looking relieved. Even if he'd never said as much, there was no way he wasn't worried about the twins' lives. He took his staff in hand and looked up towards the water's surface.
Oz: Heathcliff. Shino.
Heathcliff: Yes.
Shino: …
Oz: I shall entrust the two of you with the stone, and transport the both of you to Borda Island. I am trusting the both of you to take it to Figaro.
Heathcliff: Wait a second… You mean you're only sending the two of us back to land?
Shino: What about you? You're planning on going to where Arthur is, aren't you.
Oz: Correct.
Heathcliff: What about you, Mr. Faust…?
Faust: I'm going to look for Lennox. I want the both of you to return to shore.
Heathcliff: But I'm worried about you… And Nero told me to watch out for you. I'm staying with you.
Faust: Don't be stupid…
Heathcliff: If Lord Oz stops being able to use magic, the burden you're carrying right now is only going to get heavier. So wouldn't it be much safer to have him and the Sage deliver the stone instead, the way Prince Arthur said they should?
Shino: That's true… As soon as Oz is able to use his magic again, he can just pop right back down here.
Oz: It is difficult to accurately read the location of presences within the water. I am not certain I will be able to transport myself accurately.
Shino: Then just don't come back. Deliver the stone and then the Sage can open negotiations with the sea dragon.
Shino had a bitter look on his face as the words left his mouth.
Shino: To be honest, I don't think it's a good idea. If the dragon eats Oz while he can't use his magic, it's going to become an enemy no one's gonna be able to deal with.
Heathcliff: Shino…
Shino: I'm just speaking the truth.
I saw fear and apprehension in Shino's eyes, but he wasn't looking away. He wasn't a coward, after all; he was cautious because he was an excellent warrior. I was probably putting too much faith in my instincts and saying something stupid, but…
Akira: (That dragon is my friend…) (But I don't know if Hwylryn thinks the same of me. In that case, negotiations are going to be a bust. All I'll have done is make things harder for everyone…)
As my heart began to cloud over, Hwylryn's innocent, guileless smile flashed through my mind. I shook my head, just a little. I couldn't just decide talking to him was meaningless before I even had a chance to try.
Akira: If Hwylryn hurts Oz, then I will truly think of him as our enemy. If he intends to do anything else to Snow and White after what he's already done to them, then I will truly think of him as our enemy. And if I do, then my heart will align with Oz's, and he'll be able to use his magic, so…
Faust: …Sage… …This isn't the kind of thing I want to have to say, but this is a matter of life or death. All your lives, even.
Akira: …What is it?
Faust: It's difficult to think of someone you once called a friend as your enemy.
I looked at him. Faust had been betrayed by someone he'd considered his best friend, and became a curseworker. My judgment now sufficiently clouded, I looked up at Oz. After a moment of silence, he nodded.
Oz: For now, we must prioritize haste. We will take the stone to the castle.
Faust: Got it. The rest of us will follow Arthur's group.
Oz: I pray for your safety.
Heathcliff: Take care, Master Sage.
Shino: Sage. I have one last thing to say first. I've encountered a lot of animals in the Sherwood Forest. I've considered some of them friends, too. But in the end, they're just wild animals. Sometimes they attacked me anyways, and I had to take care of them after that.
Akira: Shino…
Shino: Sometimes you can't be friends no matter how much you try. But you can't blame yourself when that happens. Because it gets to be too much that way.
Heathcliff: …
Akira: …Thank you, Shino.
Shino: That's it. If your negotiations work, be sure to introduce me. I wanna try riding on a dragon.
Akira: Alright… Thank you, everyone!
Oz: Let us depart, Sage.
Akira: Okay!
Oz: <Vox Nox>
✦✧☾✧✦
Akira: …
And then, I was in the sky. The sky was clear, and the stars shined brightly. It didn't take long for Borda Island to come into view. Oz seemed relieved he was able to use his magic. He glanced at me, my hand still held tightly in his own.
Oz: We shall arrive at the castle momentarily.
Akira: Okay. Um, Oz… Can I ask you something?
Oz: What.
Akira: …Why did you stop your attack against Hwylryn back then? I know that Snow and White are very important to you… But you listened to me instead…
Oz: … Had I ignored your words and slain the dragon… You would have never trusted me again.
Akira: …
I felt a strange, all-consuming warmth well up inside of me. I…was treasured. My heart was treasured. That's how I felt right then. The moon hung in the sky above the ocean, its golden glow flickering on the waves. I wanted to treasure everyone in this exact same way. I wanted to be capable of noticing people's wishes that had fallen to the wayside and pick them up, cradling them gently in my palms. I wanted to support people's hearts with kind words. As if I could cast spells of my own.
Oz: Let us be off, Akira.
Akira: …Okay!
✦✧☾✧✦
Rustica: <Amores Viesse>
Hwylryn: …It's such a lovely sound…
Cain: …!
Arthur: Cain!
Cain: Let's go, Arthur! Let's save Shylock! I can't see if anything's there, but I'm still getting goosebumps just from the presence of the thing Murr was talking about!
Rutile: W…well, the beautiful, silver-haired young man we met at the torta di cocco shop is in front of us right now. But like the Sage said, his name is Hwylryn. But he's really a dragon…
Arthur: …Then, this would be…?
Cain: If he's strong enough to rival Oz, then we cannot beat this thing. We should find and save Shylock while Rustica's magic is still working on him! I'll stay here to support Rustica!
Chloe: …I'll stay, too!
Rutile: I will as well! Hwylryn remembered who I am! I might be able to talk to him…
Murr: Gotcha! Then I'll get going!
Arthur: Murr!
Murr: Let's go, Arthur!
Arthur: Alright!
Vespa's Sister: …! …!
Arthur: Thank you! Please, take us there!
Chloe: …Be safe, okay…! And please help Shylock…!
Rustica: …Lalala…lalala…
Hwylryn: …Pretty…
Rutile: …
Chloe: …
Cain: C'mon…please… …Don't come back to your senses…
✦✧☾✧✦
Heathcliff: Let's start heading back to Prince Arthur's group. Vespa, can you take us there?
Vespa: …! …!
Faust: …
Shino: Quit worrying, Faust. Everyone in Arthur's group is reliable. Maybe they're taking Lennox back right now as we speak.
Faust: You're right…
Heathcliff: What is Lennox to you, Mr. Faust? I know that he used to be your servant a long time ago, but…
Shino: Man, don't say "a long time ago". He wants to still be serving you. He keeps looking at me and Heath all jealous-like.
Faust: …
Shino: And you've completely lost your cool about him. The two of you were close, right?
Faust: We never had a relationship as significant as all that. It's just… …I worried him for so long. Even though we were only together for a few years, he spent four hundred looking for me. That's a long time for someone to feel the same way, but he's the kind of person who can maintain that kind of loyalty. He's patient, sincere, and very strong at heart. Anyone would be blessed to have him nearby. No matter how much one might hate themself, he'd keep doing what he could for them, affirming them instead of denying them. He's not someone who should be next to me. Someone like him should be serving someone more serene, someone who's at least a little bit blessed. Someone who actually has a future. If he'd just forget about me, he'd find someone else in no time. I just want to bless him somehow.
Shino & Heathcliff: …
Faust: …I shouldn't have said all that. …! Both of you, get back!
Heathcliff: …?! The ocean currents are whipping into a whirlpool…!
Faust: <Salliuqnart Mulcredo>
Shino: Faust!
Heathcliff: Mr. Faust!
Faust: Are you two okay?!
Lennox?: …So this is where it was…
Faust: … Bastard…!
Shino: Lennox…! No, Balthazar…
Lennox?: Where is the cintamani stone. Hand it over without a fuss to save yourselves.
Faust: …That's my line. Give back Lennox's body! Or else I'll make sure your soul rots in Hell for all eternity!
Lennox?: Fascinating. For an Eastern wizard to declare that… I'd like to see you try.
Faust: <Salliuqnart Mulcredo>!
Lennox?: <Mare Praeda>!
✦✧☾✧✦
Lennox: … I heard someone call my name…? …Where is this…? I feel like I've walked a long way, and yet… You're right, Courir… I've been to a lot of places. And I've met a lot of people. Just like how I met you… I've been blessed everywhere I've gone. But…he was never there.
✦✧☾✧✦
???: Faust? He's not here right now. What am I doing? I'm cleaning the mud off everyone's boots. We were all clomping around in the rain yesterday. I've got more stamina than most people. And I always wake up early, so I have the time to spare. Wait, aren't you… You're that wizard from the coal mine that just joined up, right? Lennox? I knew it! You're pretty huge even from a distance, but you're even bigger seeing you up close like this. What happened at the mine was terrible… How's your family? Did they make it out okay? …Oh, I see… …I'm sorry. Hey, could you lean over a little? …Hm? What for? It's so I can give you a hug. Thank you…thank you for coming all this way….thank you for continuing to live without ever giving up… … Haha… Yeah, people tell me I'm warm a lot. It's good to be working with you, Lennox. Ah… Sorry for treating you like a kid. …Since Faust isn't here, you want to talk to Sir Alec instead? You're hugging him right now, actually.
Alec: Welcome, Lennox. I'm Alec.
✦✧☾✧✦
Shylock: Mm… My apologies, but I'm afraid I don't know. But if you've been searching for him for this long and haven't found him, then… Perhaps he's changed his name or sequestered himself away from society? It's also possible that he simply does not wish to see you again. Oh, no. I'm not trying to criticize your chasing after him. I am a Western wizard. I'm fond of people who have given themselves up to their desires. However… … Please, sit down. Let me pour you a glass. It's on the house. Take a moment to recover from your long, long journey.
✦✧☾✧✦
Figaro: You're still looking for Faust…? Wouldn't it be better to just give up already? There's no guarantee you'll find him… And even if you do, there's no telling if he'll still be the man you're longing for. Someone who's been betrayed and hurt like that loses everything. Light, kindness, peace, luck, a genuine smile… I've seen more people like that than I can count. Despair is like a poison. It changes people. But you haven't changed, even though you couldn't protect your master and he tossed you away. Oh, don't get me wrong. That's me praising you. I think you're amazing for still being able to cling onto your hope like that.
✦✧☾✧✦
Tiletta: I suppose so. Are you planning on leaving the South at some point, then? I'm planning on staying. I've got a husband, after all, and we've got a kid on the way. The spirits here still seem to be completely baffled by me, but I'm sure it'll work out somehow. When my child grows up, I hope the two of you will get along, provided you're still in the country. You'll be fine. I know you'll find him. Wizards have long lives, after all. Even if you never made a promise to meet again, as long as you stay alive, you'll meet one another again and again and again. So it'll be fine. Both you and the person you're looking for are wizards. You can still meet again. And you will.
✦✧☾✧✦
Vespa's Sister: …! …!
Arthur: So Shylock is down this path…?
Murr: Remember, Balthazar's a Northern wizard! We can't match him so easily! Don't try to attack him head on! Once we save Shylock, it's time to split!
Arthur: Understood! We can't let ourselves take too long here, or the rest of our group will be in danger!
Murr: Nice job, reading between the lines! Arthur! In the unlikely chance things come to blows, I'll be right there to support you! You'll be the cornerstone of our attack. So I'll be in your care!
Arthur: Let's watch each other's backs! Ah…! There's Shylock!
Murr: Shylock!
Shylock: …! Stay back! This area is inside of a magic circle that Balthazar has cleverly hidden away. Setting foot inside of it will make you unable to use magic.
Murr: Sounds like we should be smashing that circle first, then! I'll wipe away the illusions hiding it so we can see it, annnnd…
Arthur: I'll break the pattern enough that it can't keep itself working!
Murr: Got it in one! Good boy!
Arthur: I've got your prudent guidance, after all!
Murr: <Eanul Lambru>
Arthur: (Light is gathering around the circumference of the area…) (I need to break the pattern of Balthazar's circle…!) <Pernoctant Nixzo> Did that get rid of it?!
Murr: You did it! Great job, Arthur!
Arthur: Yeah! Time to save Shylock!
✦✧☾✧✦
Lennox?: <Mare Praeda>
Faust: <Salliuqnart Mulcredo>! …gh, I can block his attacks…! Get ready to put up an exorcism circle!
Shino: Got it! Styrax resin, compeil oil, fallen elderleaves…
Heathcliff: We're in the middle of the ocean! You can't just use them as-is! First we need to stabilize the area with white rose quartz… <Repsev Aivulp Sunos>
Shino: <Matzah Sudipas>
Lennox?: How naiive…!
Faust: I'm your opponent right now! <Salliuqnart Mulcredo> Lennox! It's me! Answer me, Leno…!
Lennox?: …This body is mine! I'll rip this head right off its shoulders! I wouldn't mind giving you back just the head. Though it'd turn to stone as soon as I did!
Faust: The only one turning to stone here is you! <Salliuqnart Mulcredo>
Lennox?: Hmph. Was that supposed to do something? …?! Shylock…! …gh…!
Faust: (It worked!) (Something seemed to disturb him for a moment, though…)
Lennox?: …kh… What are you waiting for, Hwylryn?! I told you not to let them get close to him!
✦✧☾✧✦
Hwylryn: …Ah…
Rustica: …! My spell wore off…
Cain: C'mon! Try it again…
Rustica: <Amores Viesse>
Hwylryn: Nope, not this time.
Rustica: …
Hwylryn: Huh… There's less of you than before. How many went further in? Well, you got me… Guess this is how it has to be. I'll take you all on.
Rutile: Hwylryn…! Please return Leno and Shylock! They're very precious people to us!
Hwylryn: I'm sorry. Balthazar seems like he really wants them. You're one of Akira's friends, right? I don't want to have to hurt you. You should get away from here.
Rutile: I won't leave until we have both of them back…!
Hwylryn: … Okay. I'm really not feeling up to this, but…
Cain: (He's coming!) <Gladius Procella>
Rustica: <Amores Viesse>
Cain: …Uwaahh…!
Rustica: …Kh…!
Chloe: Rustica…! …ah, ahhh…
Rutile: Oh no…!
Hwylryn: Just let the current take you far, far away from here. Coming back is a no-no, okay?
Cain: …gh! <Gladius Procella>!
Hwylryn: …You're not listening…
Cain: …! (The current is so strong…!) …gh…! (I'm going to be swallowed by the current…! It's going to rip my limbs apart…!) (I'm wasting so much magic just trying to keep it together…!) (At this rate, I won't be able to breathe…!)
Rustica: <Amores Viesse>
Hwylryn: …
Cain: Rustica…!
Rustica: Cain, are you okay?!
Hwylryn: …La…lala…
Cain: Is it that spell again…?!
Rustica: Yes. Though it won't last long, I fear. Chloe, Rutile.
Chloe: Absolutely not! I am not running!
Rustica: …
Chloe: …I'll use the cloaking magic again…and you can use your song, and…
Rustica: …Alright.
Rutile: Cain, I'll heal you!
Cain: It's fine! Save your magic! If someone's close to death, they'll need it more…
Hwylryn: …nn…
Cain: … He's going to attack again…
Hwylryn: …Hmm? Oh, you got me again…
Rustica: <Amores Viesse>
Chloe: <Suispicibo Voitengok>!
Hwylryn: Jeez… I guess I'll have to make it hurt a little.
Cain: <Gladius Procella>!
Hwylryn: Back off!
Cain: …Waaahhh…!
Chloe: …cough…! I can't…breathe…!
Rustica: Chloe…!
Rutile: …Everyone…!
✦✧☾✧✦
Mithra: …Sigh… Don't piss me off so much, Figaro… Why do you have to make me mad? If you're so worried, then you should've just protected the Sage yourself. I'm already busy enough keeping Mitile and Rutile safe. Because I promised Tiletta I'd protect them… … Uh oh… What were those two supposed to be doing right now? Are they waiting for cake again… … <Arthim>
Next Chapter
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ntls-24722 · 7 months
Text
i think the reason i'm so obsessed with DJ is because I've never had this degree of freedom or fun with any character before
I've never been, like, a fictional character person. Like I had characters that I really liked and would collect and draw art of them but when it came to who was imagining incredibly detailed AMVs of in my mind it was always my own OCs but even then I didn't have as much fun as I could've had with my OCs either.
Like, I never focused on AUs - I had them, especially for this one character who I made 48 AUs, but they were made just to have a bunch of AUs so I could say they had a "merliniverse" in the same way there was a "oncelerverse" or a "sansiverse". But I didn't like, make one just off a one off thought. It'd be a one off thought and I'd leave it there because I had Things To Do with those characters. I was always PREPARING to tell a story and guess what! I never told that story because I could never catch up with the redesigns and the rewrites and eventually I gave up.
I never posted sketches, either. I was always trying to churn out digital pieces, but the problem was, was that said digital pieces were character references. BARELY scenes from the story or cool things that I could make because I was so focused on making something basic so that I could compile them and one day Properly Tell The Story. But I never did. And I never got to show all the in-betweens and how the story developed because I also believed that my art wasn't worth posting unless it was digital.
I have had this one story of mine with my characters for more than 3 years now and most of what I have to show for it are the lame things I drew for their pfps and their character refs because I felt that I had to focus on showing what they look like and not who they were.
AND LOOK AT THIS COMPARED TO HOW I AM WITH DJ
I think WHY i came to this is because i was like "man, fnaf. It's been awhile. I'll have fun with you before I go back to my old stuff" AND THEN I NEVER STOPPED HAVING FUN WITH HIM! I have 103 DJMM/MM AUs and i didnt even break a sweat making them all because GUESS WHAT, i didn't make a fully rendered (RENDERED, YES, I FULLY RENDERED EVERY REF I MADE BACK THEN) character ref for each and every one of them just for the sake of having something solid whenever i needed to show them to someone! I made a million sketches showing who they are and what they do and shenanigans and the angst!
and man I'm SO fucking glad i made the #(almost) daily music man tag. i love showing all my pencil doodles for you all and not caring if they're good enough or not. tl;dr: make a million things even if you finish none of them never take life seriously
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Megop week 2023
June 14th, Day 4
Sweet
Something as simple as a snack cake sends Megatron into a trip down memory lane. (unlike my previous stories, this does not follow Transformers Earthspark, or really any canon: I sorta mish-mashed elements of the More Than Meets The Eye comics)
“Stay right here. I’ll be right back!” Waiting. Megatronus was damned to even a slight waiting time, leaning against a building with doors much too small for him to enter through, glaring at any passerby he saw fit. Megatronus was well aware of how afraid most Cybertronians were of him. 
Good. He thought to himself. He knew it wasn't healthy. Hell, he was writing to produce the opposite effect, but he couldn't help but be even a bit petty. If civilian frames weren't going to extend the effort to even fake a kind glance, then why should he extend the same courtesy? He was a poor model of a revolutionary. Megatronus did not have to dwell too well on the subject as he heard an overhead chime from a door opening, a red and blue bot joining by his side once more with two small energon treats in his servos. “Here!” The archivist spoke, handing a treat to Megatronus. H examined it carefully, sniffing it the slightest, and becoming near overwhelmed by the smell. “You bought . . . snack cakes?” Orion chuckled for a moment, already taking a bite of his own. “Of course! I figured it would be a nice little thing for us to share.” He spoke, between muffled bites, and swallowed down a piece. “Go on, try it!” Megatronus was hesitant, to speak up. “I, uh, Im not much of a sweets person.” Orion couldn't help but roll his eyes. “Please? Just one cake. Besides it may have uh, cost me 10 shanix.” His voice trailed off as he took another bite. Megatronus stared incredulously. 10 shanix for such a little thing?! Now he had to try it, if not for his own enjoyment, to just know Orion hadn't wasted his money. Megatronus took a sizeable bite out of the soft snack cake. He at first, enjoyed the first few moments until the taste became just a bit too much for him. He covered his mouth, blinking a few times as he began coughing. “Primus–?!” He said between coughs. Orion tilted his head, speaking lightly. “Too sweet?” Megatronus swallowed down the horrid mess in his mouth before he answered with a sickly nod. “Impossibly so.”
Orion couldn't help but chuckle. “Oh, I’m sorry . . .” he was quickly over his need to apologize, leaning just a bit closer. Megatronus could pick up very well what that meant, already handing the terrible little treat to Orion. “Here,” He mumbled out, trying not to focus on the taste still lingering in his mouth. A few moments quiet, and Megatronus spoke again. “I do appreciate it, Orion, fraid I just don't have the taste for it. Thank you.”
Orion swallowed down the rest of Megatronus's treat as he answered. “You're welcome Megatronus. I guess, sometimes I worry about you. About what . . . we’re doing.” He admitted quietly, a small sad smile crossing Megatronus' face as he continued. “I hope, little moments like this trick me into thinking we’ll be okay.” Megatrous inched just a bit closer to the archivist. “I would say so. I promise you Orion, there’s nothing to worry about.” He squinted, kneeling down and rubbing a servo carefully against the corner of Orion’s lips. “Mm, still have a bit right here.” Even when it was all cleaned away from Orion’s lips, he couldn't help but stay there, leaning his helm against Orions, just staring into those beautiful blue optics. “I love you, Orion.” He spoke quietly. Orion responded naturally. “I love you too, Megatronus.” Megatronus leaned in to share a kiss with his beloved, only for his optics to shoot open and lean away as fast as he could. Orion laughed happily, seeing as Megatronus was only reacting to the lingering taste of the sickly sweet snack cakes.
Megatron hadn't known peace in a long time. Taking what little forces he had, ravaging an abandoned Iacon on Cybetron’s now devastated land. To think, centuries before he walked these same hallowed streets, a different mech.  He took a rest on an old broken-down bench, just looking over. Ashened winds blowing, fires started just for some kind of semblance of warmth for the survivors. His sore red optics closed, body ached badly, having not sat to rest in forever.
It wasn't till he heard a small, “Ahem!” When he opened his eyes, met with a familiar black and purple seeker jet. “What is it, Skywarp?” His voice came out rough, and tired. The seeker held out a small bag jiggling it slightly. “It’s for you!” I found it at some old broken-up bakery.”
Megatronus only glared, raising an optic ridge. “Do you have any idea how old or rotted over this may be with all its preservatives?”
Skywarps’ smile faded, wings going up ad down ever so slightly. “Well uh,” “Just go,” Megatron interrupted, sending the seeker on his way. Skywarp nodded, taking flight to find whatever else he could before they’d leave the barren city.
Megatron opened the tearing bag carefully, pulling out its contents. He almost felt his intake drop holding such a small snack cake. Despite his own negativity, it looked perfectly preserved. It had to be, for whatever was in it.
Something in him grew profoundly sad, staring at the energon snack. Optics tired and focused, didn't hesitate this time to take a bite. He swallowed quietly, grimacing. It tastes just as terrible as all those years ago. Absolutely chockful of sugary preserves and a texture equivalent to soft sand. And yet, he continued to eat the cake, he hadn't even realized the tears trailing down as he ate. Something so small, and truthfully, so awful to eat seemed to break down so many things in his system. Reminiscing just what these roads once were.
How many times had he sat here on this bench with him? How many times had he managed to get Megatron to eat a snack cake with him? How many times had Megatron walked down these roads, hand in hand with him?
With Orion. Orion, who loved these cakes, as a little reminder that no matter how bad things got, he and Megatron would be alright, safe together.
How wrong his Orion was.
Megatron finished the snack soon enough, only now going to touch and wipe away the tears. He found himself pathetically chuckling. “Still . . . still disgusting, Orion.” He sniffled, crumbling the bag and tossing it to the ground. All he could do now until his trine returned to him was sit in silence and reminisce.
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imrix · 2 years
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Alright yeah having finished it I get what the buzz about Cyberpunk Edgerunners was, even though cyberpunk as a genre and in particular its treatment of cyberware usually isn’t my jam. Damn good show.
Becca deserved better though - like, not even for her own sake, I think her ending hurts the story a little. Spoiler meta below the cut.
Edgerunners is a story about the value of human connections - that much was obvious pretty much from the moment David fell in with runners because they could make a pitch to him as people, where the corpo recruitment offer is as impersonal as a recorded message. But it’s also a story about ego and addiction and how poisonous they are to those connections. It is, after all, a tragedy where all of one of the crew makes it out alive (two if you count Falco, which... ehhh?), having lost a great part of what she was living for.
And the big foible that's constantly on display, the way those connections sour, is like - Gloria and Lucy and David and even Maine to a degree, they're all carrying that throughline of trying to save/protect others, to be the person who saves/protects others, even as in doing so they're stifling or destroying the dreams and desires of the people they're trying to protect. It’s about them being the saviour more than it is about connecting with or understanding their loved ones.
Gloria wants to save her son from the squalid life she knows, even as it crushes him. Lucy wants to save David, even as she can't bring herself to let him in to give him the connection he yearns for. David wants to save Lucy, more than he cares that she wants him to stay alive with her. Maine wants to be the strong father leading his crew to prosperity and success, even as he destroys himself with a chrome addiction that ruins their capacity to be a crew.
Becca is different in that she's about the one person in the cast who's willing to put herself out there and... care about the desires of the people she cares about, I guess, which is to me a rock-solid necessity of building anything healthy.
She wants David, but she doesn't do the catty thing and try to compete with Lucy for him - she's a bit grumpy that David wants Lucy instead of her, but she ultimately accepts it, and more, she acts on that acceptance by leaning in to saving Lucy for the sake of bringing David back to himself. And for a story about the value of connections and how they fail, I think it's a poor choice to strangle that before it can say its piece in the final accounting.
It’s a basic rule of action storytelling, right? Any fight between characters (rather than a character versus the living scenery of mooks) is on some level an argument between who they are and what they represent. Fights turn on who's winning the argument. But Becca doesn't get to have an argument, and I think that's a poor narrative choice when she has something important to say for what I saw as pretty core to the story.
Would it have been better if she lived? Mm, maybe. You could do something pretty poignant if she’d been the one to get Lucy out safely (She's not a great driver - fine, neither was David and he still pulled stunts pretty quick when Lucy dropped him behind the wheel), and how that vindicates her behaviour as the only way you really make it or save anything, even if that’s still a tragedy of people surviving even as they lose the great part of what they lived for. But honestly it’s still fine if she dies, so long as she gets to have a bit of an exchange with Adam Smasher to acknowledge the significance of what she represents, rather than abruptly offing her. Something that speaks to Smasher's nature as a corporate tool severed from sentiment, or just his personal sociopathy.
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legendofzoodles · 2 years
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LU Character Design Analysis 4
In case you haven’t seen the previous three posts yet, I’m doing this thing where I’m analysing and subsequently ranking all the designs of the chain in LU. I was going to do it 2 at a time, but I’ve got so much to say that I’m doing it one a time.
All the designs are really good, it was hard to come up with a decent ranking system that I was happy with and even harder to apply it. The numbers I scored them are subjective and any one of them can be debated.
And now for...
6th place: Time
Time is a hard character to design if you’re going to age him up and there are lots of ways to go about it, based on the life he’s led so far. That being said, I feel really bad about this placement because I like him, but let me try to explain my decision.
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Pros: I love the concept of him being very different to how he was when he was younger. A lot of time has passed for him and a lot of things have happened to him. He isn’t the same person he was when he was a child.
His armour looks quite pretty. The colour placement is on point, with impressive looking golds on his shoulders, chest and lower waist, red accents throughout and the shiny silver taking centre stage. There’s even a bit of blue just below his collar bone to tie into his forehead marking, and I love the triforce and moon symbols on either side of that section. It’s a nice nod to the events of OoT and MM. The moon symbol is the one closer to his heart, meaning that he maybe reflects on that adventure more fondly and holds the good he did for Termina close to his heart.
His sword is held by a red ribbon connected to those two symbols. Which looks really nice and is something I haven’t seen before in other medieval style fantasy designs. I’m going to assume that tying it up was the best way Time could secure it to his back. It’s nice that even after going back in time, Time went out of his way to get that sword again. I like to think that this was just a benefit of him reconnecting with the Gorons like he did in OoT.
I love that his undershirt is a black almost skin tight semi turtleneck. It vastly contrasts his look in OoT, where the undershirt was white with a large collar. It reflects that he’s now a jaded experienced traveller who’s been through hell and despite willingly throwing himself into it over and over again because it’s the right thing to do, it’s wearing him down. He’s tired and deserves to rest but his heroic spirit (the will and power to act) won’t let him walk away from his duty. The fact that he doesn’t wear a flared collar now, but did when he was younger shows that he had an out, he could have stopped whenever he wanted, but chose to keep travelling. Now years later he’s in too deep and can’t quit.
He’s trapped.
I love the face markings and (possibly) missing eye, they allude to previous adventures we’ll never be clued into but can guess the outcome of. It gives Time an air of mystery to him, the feeling that there’s much more to him than what’s on the surface. Countless stories he could share but chooses to keep hidden from all but his wife.  
I’m glad that his Ocarina of Time isn’t strapped onto his waist by a thin piece of string. It’s too important and frankly too powerful to be treated like any old trinket and exposed in such a manner. It would be like Twilight having the horse calling charm Ilia gave him just casually hanging off his belt waiting to be damaged.
I also like that after all these years he kept the power gloves, likely going out of his way to find them after being sent back in time as they’re so useful, because they look great with the armour.
Quick confession: I’m an idiot. When I wrote the draft I thought the design was adapted almost exclusively from the Hero’s shade, which didn’t make sense to me because Time wasn’t even greying meaning that he was at most in his mid 30s and he hadn’t even had children yet and hadden developed the hidden skills and TL;DR I thought it was too early to start referencing Shade in his design. But references to Shade are only in the the fact that Time’s wearing a whole suit of armour, and the cloth hanging from his belt and face situation.
The major reference in Time’s design is actually the Fierce Deity. Which in hindsight should have been obvious from the face tattoos...uh...yeah.
It’s a sort of sun version of the moon inspired Fierce Deity suit- and I can’t believe I didn’t notice that before! His undertunic is a warm tan version of the Fierce Deity’s cool grey one, and the style of Time’s armour is virtually the same as the Fierce Deity’s, but with gold accents. Even the fact that Time has seemingly abandoned his fighting style of a single handed sword and shield to focus on a large two handed sword, may be because of an incident in his past. Perhaps Time’s still partly/unconsciously possessed by the Fierce Deity or somehow under its influence and now using a two-handed weapon feels more natural for him.
I might be the only one, but the fact that Time doesn’t use a sword and shield is a strange detail. If what I suggested is the reason why Time wields the Biggoron sword as his main weapon, then that’s some masterful use of subtext on Jojo’s part. But since it’s not come up, for now that’s just my little headcanon.
There are some key differences, like the triangle and moon symbols are moved and the blue beaded necklace becomes part of the armour in Time’s design. But anyway that’s what’s going on here, moving on.
Cons: I know I’m harping on almost every member of the chain who doesn’t wear armour saying that they should, and I just complimented the visuals of Time’s. But to be honest, this is too much for me. And this section is just me complaining about the functionality of it.
Don’t get me wrong, it makes sense to wear armour. Time like the others is a traveller who actively looks for trouble and danger, thus he needs to have some level of protection in the event that he gets ambushed by a pack of monsters. This is also a fantasy setting, so I can easily suspend my disbelief and pretend that running around for hours in chainmail and a few sparse armour pieces is a sensible and necessary thing to do.
But...a full set of bulky fancy looking armour just ain’t it chief. He’s already got a long sturdy chainmail tunic, but he’s also got on a heavy looking piece of armour that’s relatively fitted and goes from his collar bone to his lower waist. Why is he doing that to himself? Who cares if it’s magic when it looks this uncomfortable and restricting.
He’s not a soldier, and given all that he’s been through he’d arguably avoid being employed by the army, so why is he wearing more armour than Warriors? I like the idea of him picking up ancient and powerful pieces of armour from his numerous adventures, but please this is too much.
The colour placement is really good like I said, but it looks too decorative to be viable for combat- or even to be taken seriously. His armour comes with pecs that are outlined it gold, which is a little funny to me. The layered pieces on his midsection are probably there to help with mobility, but they look more cyberpunk than traditional and remember this is on top of chainmail, so I don’t think that’s going to be very effective for mobility.
Instead of the chestplate (if I can call it that) being rounded and smooth like TP darknut armour so that sword swings will bounce off it and disperse the force, it has all these crevices and parts that jut out. Meaning a well placed blow (like just above the gold waist thing) may not cut through the armour, but the impact over such a small area will hurt like hell. Also there’s no armour or chainmail on his upper arms and collar bone, and along with the black skin tight shirt makes those areas look horribly exposed.
The metal pieces on what I hope is a securely fastened belt (although it looks like it’s going to fall from the weight of those metal pieces) are fine enough. They are shaped in a way that will deflect sword strikes, protecting the major arteries in his thighs and other places. That codpiece is awkwardly placed under the torso armour, meaning there’s either a weird large gap there or it is shaped to fit the v shape. Forgive me please but I can’t accept any of this as serious travelling gear. It looks even more ceremonial and less spontaneous battle appropriate than Sky’s flimsy tunic and mondo white cape.
It’s a good thing Epona is too old to ride, because if Time tried to wearing all that he’d surely crush her.
And anyway, I’d argue that he’s not old enough to be able to get away with wearing a full set of armour. I can’t excuse this saying that he’s an old powerhouse and that can walk vast distances in all that armour because he’s done it a million times before, because it’s not like he’s 50.
Also, Time’s red ribbon is pretty and really unique, but it’s really impractical. The material has no padding and secures the weapon in a way that would mean all the weight is on his poor shoulders. I get why the ribbon is there, it would be a shame to put a brown belt across his torso and hide the details in the armour. But since he doesn’t have that belt like the other’s do he needs his weapon to be attached to his waist, that way the weight is distributed to other parts of the body so that the pressure isn’t only on the shoulders.
Wishlist: I wish the armour less extravagant, or at least if it looked more worn and made to look tampered with, like Time had adjusted it to make it more suitable for travel and his style of combat.
On one hand I like that he’s not wearing any green, as that’s the colour that symbolises the hero and he’s all but abandoned that title to reject being a pawn of destiny. But on the other hand he wouldn’t know that as to him the colour green would remind him of his childhood in Korkiri forest, a place near and dear to his heart. But on the other other hand, he would surely grow out of that longing eventually and try to move on from his childhood hangups.
But on the other other other hand I think that would happen maybe half a decade or so further into his life, like early to mid 40s. He’d start to rely more on armour as he ages, when his stamina and agility start to decline, to make up for his lack of mobility. And then stop wearing a tunic.
I’m sorry but I don’t have anything much to add here, which is awful seeing how much I’ve complained, but other than smoothing it out and breaking it up into more conventional chunks I really can’t see any other way to improve it. Putting him in armor was a good visual choice; I like the longer chainmail because it helps Time look older and more mature than the others, and I like the beige tunic because it still has flared sleeves like his old green one. Plus the outfit as a whole looks impressive and thus helps to visually show his authority over the others.
It’s not a bad design. Far from it, I think it’s great, I just also personally think it looks a little funny and impractical and it’s a little too early in Time’s life to start breaking out the armour and turning him into a stationary heavy highting type of fighter. Not when he has yet to develop the fast moving high skilled hidden skills...in fact he should be in the middle of creating them now. Right?
Also...didn’t know where else to put this but I’m just gonna say that I miss his ponytail. I wish he kept it, or better, if it was in a longish braid.
Score:
Aesthetic and visual score (/10): 7 Character representation score (/5): 4 Practicality score (/5): 3 Total (/20): 14
This one was so hard to place. I had a war with myself about how to judge his character design. Because on one hand it’s chock-full of symbolism and visual mysteries, but on the other hand I don’t like it nearly as much as the others higher on the list.
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Thanks for reading! What modifications would you make to their designs? And do you agree with me or not? I’d love to know :)
Masterlist
9th place in the character design ranking
8th place
7th place
5th place
4th place
3rd place
Character analysis posts:
Hero of the Sky, Hero of Time, Hero of Twilight, Hero of the Wild, Hero of Warriors
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uzumakisavior · 5 months
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𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄 (with relevant lyrics) .
Share at least 5 songs that you associate with or remind you of your muse!
SUGURUUUUUU Geto —
Paint the Town Red #1 Yeah, bitch, I said what I said //Geto KFC break up I'd rather be famous instead (walk on by)// Becomes Buddhist Cultist I let all that get to my head // His downfall and Yuki's Convo I don't care, I paint the town red (walk on by) // Murdered 112 and counting. The fire in that village. x2 Mm, she the devil She a bad lil' bitch, she a rebel (walk on by) She put her foot to the pedal It'll take a whole lot for me to settle (walk on by) Mm, she the devil She a bad lil' bitch, she a rebel (walk on by) She put her foot to the pedal It'll take a whole lot for me (yeah) to settle (walk on by) Yeah, said my happiness is all of your misery I put good dick all in my kidneys (walk on by) // Gojo...obviously
Applause By Lady Gaga I've overheard your theory, "Nostalgia's for geeks" // Memories of youth I guess sir, if you say so, some of us just like to read // He understands that intrusive traumatic memories are too painful to relive, so he decides to distance himself by taking on a new identity One second I'm a Koons fan, suddenly the Koons is me // One second I defend the weak, suddenly I they're punished by me Pop culture was in art, now art's in pop culture, in me // I abided by the moral of the majority now the majority abides by me/(my moral) I live for the applause, applause, applause // I mean....you know...star plasma vessel, yes? I live for the applause-plause, live for the applause-plause, live for the- Way that you cheer and scream for me The applause, applause, applause // I Just love the idea that he uses his trauma to mock the lay people.
Empty Walls (This song reminds me of the village Suguru has burned) Your empty walls Your empty walls Pretentious attention Dismissive apprehension Don't waste your time On coffins today When we decline From the confines of our mind Don't waste your time On coffins today Don't you see their bodies burning? Desolate and full of yearning Dying of anticipation Choking from intoxication Don't you see their bodies burning? Desolate and full of yearning Dying of anticipation Choking from intoxication I want you to be left behind those empty walls Taunt you to see from behind those empty walls
Ungodly Hour Song by Chloe x Halle (How I feel his love for Gojo would be in a song. This entire song screams satosugu to me) Hit me with your eyes I never seen that kind of view You walkin' over here The way that it went down, that's when I knew We be talkin' all night But I can tell you need to work on you, you, you Like you, you, you, like you Like you, mmm You be playin' sweet But, baby, don't you know that talk is cheap Can't fool me I wish that you could back it up for me, me, me Like me, me, me, like me
Go Forth and Die by Dethklok Trapped inside a box Four long years Hiding from the world Punished by your peers Studied teachers words Staff appointed hearts Earned a piece of paper No go forth and start Go forth, be conquered Go forth and die //The song about the disillusionment of higher education and its true, consumerist underbelly motivated by fear....not much different than the themes of JJK, sorcery, and its abuse of the youth. I think Suguru would relate to this. Newly graduated sorcerers go forth, just to be conquered, and more go forth and die
BONUS!!!! Bongos by Cardi ft Megan thee Stallion
Thick bitches in a black truck, packed in Eat whoever in my way, Ms. Pacman // Eating curses Hermes, made a real big purchase // Toji Purse so big, had to treat it like a person // Suguru's new pet worm
Any song with Megan and Cardi makes me think of Sato and Sugu, just saying
Tagged by — @ashestxashes
Tagging — anyone who ever reads this
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retconned-royalty · 1 year
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Continued from [X] @holmestheheart
It’s time to slow things d o w n.
Right now in Lizzy’s life, dust has been kicked up in a whirlwind, and now she needs to plant her feet back down on the ground, before she forgets herself, and trips over her emotions to make a m e s s. So, Damon puts them in a coffee shop. One of those almost liminal spaces, where you can feign the feeling of privacy, in a place that smells like h o m e.
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“Mm.” Lizzy held up a finger, pressing TOTAL pause on Damon as a person. She wasn’t ready yet. First, she had to order herself a cocoa with marshmallows and cream, sprinkles and a little gingerbread man, along with a slice of fudge cake. She has one go-to order in the winter season, and this is it. The girl over the counter even knows it by heart, it’s great.
Settled down in a booth a little out of the way, Lizzy felt she could b r a v e looking at Damon’s face, and telling him what she’s had explained to her. There’s a table between them. She can run first if she has to- she doesn’t. She really couldn’t be safer and we all know it.
“Okay. Okay, uh,” She’s n e r v o u s. For someone who has burst into tears in front of thousands of people on stage, this is h a r d to talk about.
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“It’s no secret, that you’re a big bad scary vampire.” She started t h e r e. “Before… I even k n e w I was your child, I was given a l l these stories of-” She didn’t want to go through it. “Well. Countless neck breaks, careless murders, a lot of! H a t e, or anger. I was t o l d, you would never c a r e about me and I should give up trying to think about you, in the end.”
It’s the hurt that’s so clear on her face, that speaks volumes of h o w devastating that w a s.
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"Okay, okay yeah, I see we're gonna need to have a little talk kiddo."
Damon had tried to at least gather his thoughts as he ushered her into the coffee shop, afforded even more time as they ordered their drinks. This was the last piece of the puzzle for him, his murders, and apparent sprees. Both hands slid around the warm white mug in front on him, he studied the foam for a moment before addressing her again.
"First, I am a menace at best. Barely ranking in the top ten of your extended family tree if I had to guess. I'm not a saint and I don't have mushy feelings about humans - my philosphy is don't shit where you eat but if some random ends up dead well they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. I don't hunt to kill on the regular and I have very good control over my faculties. My humanity has been off once and I mostly spent that time partying." The man kept it conversational as he listed off his sins, not exactly flippant, but no where near defensive about it. He felt no shame or remorse when it came to these particular actions. Damon was a vampire, sometimes that meant he killed people for food, but he wasn't a ripper.
Even his stint of no humanity he'd barely left a body count to be commented on. Flipping the humanity switch didn't make every vampire automatically an idiot. It had been easy to control himself because he liked where he was partying, you kill too many people and you have to move on. No reason to mess up a good thing.
"No Lizzy, the beast inside of you? The thing you fear?" Damon leaned forward, blue eye never more serious then when he meant hers in that moment. "That sounds like Stefan."
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