#tho the problem with colouring like this is you lose a lot of detail at the front lol

[darqx]

Aren't you tired of being nice?

#boyfriend to death #art #idk man i just wanted to draw the whole fire backlight look again #tho the problem with colouring like this is you lose a lot of detail at the front lol #he didnt start the fire 🎶 #it was always burning 🎶 #first thing i've properly drawn in about a month \o/ #august was a bit of a clusterfuck for me for multiple reasons #on a side note i do have a bunch of asks ive been meaning to answer since months ago so theyre coming at some point #...i forgot...his sunglasses #just pretend he has them in a pocket or something

[oldreignofhades]

BASIC INFORMATION

Full Name: Aylin Nadia Karga

Nickname(s): Lin, Karga, Hades

Age: twenty-eight

Date of Birth: April 13th 1993

Hometown: Antalya, Turkey

Current Location: depends on the mission, but mostly Cairo, Egypt

Nationality: Turkish

Gender: cis woman

Pronouns: she/her

Orientation: romantic and sexual biromantic/bisexual

Religion: atheist

Political Affiliation: none

Occupation: Oracle for Four Hundred

Living Arrangements: various apartments for example in Cairo, Sao Paolo, Madeira, Sylt, Paris, London

Language(s) Spoken: French, Turkish, German, English, Spanish, (Egyptian) Arabic

Accent: a mix of Egyptian Arabic and Turkish

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Face Claim: Hande Ercel

Hair Colour: Brunette

Eye Colour: Dark Brown

Height: 1,75 m

Weight: 64 kg

Build: fit

Clothing Style: Elegant, but at work mostly black, somewhat comfortable so it allows her to be as flexible as possible.

Usual Expression: stoic, maybe a slight smirk, in public more soft but still with an edge so people don’t talk to her but neither suspect or of anything (less intimidating)

HEALTH

Physical Ailments: various scars (gunshot wound in her leg, cuts and other wounds on her side and arm), two numb fingers on her left hand

Allergies: Lactose

Sleeping Habits: survives on however sleep she can get, but usually she sleeps around 6 hours, sleeps lightly, wakes up often

Eating Habits: eats healthy and tries to not eat a lot, tho she has a problem with eating junk food if she’s in another town but Cairo 

Exercise Habits: exercises a lot due to the job, remains fit, jogs almost every day

Emotional Stability: a solid 6, she’s been broken before, never again (at least she tries to think that way)

Sociability: introverted yet social. It’s a weird mix of both. Aylin won’t shy away from company, though she prefers to be alone.

Body Temperature: hot-natured

Addictions: the game

Drug Use: none

Alcohol Use: frequently

PERSONALITY

Label: the femme fatale

Positive Traits: adaptable, brave, passionate, decisive, tough

Negative Traits: aggressive, two-faced, hedonistic, dishonest, Machiavellian, cruel

Goals/Desires: continue her father’s legacy, protect her son

Fears: to lose her son, to lose her position and everything she has worked for

FAVORITES

Weather: sunny, not too hot, clear skies, slight breeze

Colour: green-blue, deep red, black

Music: classical music, Turkish rap, generally a bit of everything

Movies: at the moment she quite enjoys watching kids movies with her son. It’s a lovely alternative to the stuff she sees in real life.

Sport: hunting (I guess, not animals tho)

Beverage: Wine, chai, Glühwein, Coca Cola, orange juice

Food: Burger, Köfte, Döner kebab, apple pie

Animal: lions, hawks, snakes, dogs

FAMILY

Father: Orhan Karga, deceased, former army general & Oracle for four hundred before his death

Mother: Meryem Karga, 59 years old, former model and fashion designer

Sibling(s): Volkan Karga, 25 years old, younger brother -- student

Children: Serkan Karga, 4 years old, son (biological father open as a spot)

Pet(s): none

Family’s Financial Status: rather wealthy, her father made sure to keep his family financially independent even after his death

EXTRA

Zodiac Sign: Aries -  Like their fellow fire signs, Leo and Sagittarius, Aries is a passionate, motivated, and confident leader who builds community with their cheerful disposition and relentless determination. Uncomplicated and direct in their approach, they often get frustrated by exhaustive details and unnecessary nuances.

MBTI: ISTP -  ISTPs are attentive to details and responsive to the demands of the world around them. Because of their astute sense of their environment, they are good at moving quickly and responding to emergencies. ISTPs are reserved, but not withdrawn: the ISTP enjoys taking action, and approaches the world with a keen appreciation for the physical and sensory experiences it has to offer.

Enneagram: Type Eight - Protectors believe you must be strong and powerful to assure protection and regard in a tough world. Consequently, Protectors seek justice and are direct, strong and action-oriented; they also can be overly impactful, excessive and impulsive.

Temperament: Melancholic individuals tend to be analytical and detail-oriented, and they are deep thinkers and feelers. They are introverted and try to avoid being singled out in a crowd. A melancholic personality leads to self-reliant individuals who are thoughtful, reserved, and often anxious. They often strive for perfection within themselves and their surroundings, which leads to tidy and detail-oriented behavior.

Hogwarts House: Slytherin 

Moral Alignment: Neutral Evil

Primary Vice: Wrath

Primary Virtue: Charity

Element: fire

BIO (short, longer version will follow)

death tw, pregnancy tw

Once a loved child, Aylin grew up in a world filled with wonders. Always protected and surrounded by a great number of bodyguards, she could barely walk a meter without being watched. It didn’t take too long for her to accept her circumstances, especially considering her father’s absence most of the time. As oracle for four hundred he was tasked with getting rid of some of the world’s worst criminals which put a target on his daugher’s back. Unaware of the possible threat, Aylin attended some of the best schools and went on to see her father every now and then. His absence turned her almost bitter and resentful of him, which would change Aylin forever. The loving, laughter loving girl turned into a cold, spiteful monster with little regard for the emotion of others after her own hadn’t been acknowledged properly. Her father, noticing the sudden change in her, decided to train Aylin for a possibility to eventually take over his spot within four hundred. Their training sessions included light sparring, throwing daggers and cardio. Once started, once tasted, Aylin longed to keep on going as this felt like the right call at that time. Fed by her insatiable need for approval and spending time with her father, Aylin did everything in her power to train with him and be a good daughter. Years of training eventually manifested her choices and completely took over her life. Any possibilities to follow into her mother’s footsteps were discarded and only wrath remained. The world didn’t look all rosey after all, so she decided to help just like her father did. Yet fate propelled her into this position far too early. After her father’s murder by one of the world’s most influential forgers, Aylin took over her father’s position. 

Five years in Aylin got pregnant and took a short hiatus from Pantheon. Once Serkan was born her outlook on life changed since she had something to protect now, however the cruelty remained, as did her sudden mood swings. Shaped by a traumatic childhood and mostly neglectful parents she’s made it her mission to protect her son and continue her father’s legacy all while sating her own inner demons -- and to stop being her own worst saboteur and monster. 

#( info ; how do you like me now ? )

[probablytenderjourneys]

SIX OF CROWS AND CROOKED KINGDOM-LEIGH BARDUGO

There is no secret to anyone that knows me that the Six of Crows duology by Leigh Bardugo is my favourite thing to ever exist. The books are my comfort books; there is no describing the comfort I feel whenever i talk about them or read them; but if you are a reader like me, I'm sure you understand. There are so many things in those two books that just make me feel so safe and happy although I always end up sobbing whenever i read them. I'll try to tell you a bit about the characters and why I absolutely adore all of them, without spoiling too much(or anything). First of all:

1. Kaz Brekker: 17 year old boy, dark hair, tragic past. Need I say more? Kaz is a morally grey character, extremely smart and gifted with lots of abilities. Although he is part of a gang, and has scammed and killed people, he isn't 'bad'. Everything he does has a purpose- and in a city like Ketterdam, is rare to find people who wouldn't do anything and everything for money. While he does love money(quite a lot) he is motivated by his need of revenge. It's pretty rare that he loses control and does things without thinking them through. Amazingly developed character with an incredibly cool name.

2. Inej Ghafa: did someone say the strongest girl I've ever read? 16 year old who went through a life time of trauma. She kills and helps Kaz with his schemes, but she never loses her faith or her good nature. She is vicious, dangerous, deadly-but never cruel. She is wise and smart and just overall has a good heart. She does what needs to be done to stay alive and to keep her friends alive, but never enjoys it. One of my favourite female characters ever because even though she has feelings for one of the other 5 people in her team, she knows she deserves better and she never settles for anything other than that. She puts herself and her dreams and plans first. Also incredibly skilled and brave.

3. Nina Zenik: 17 year old powerful queen, sarcastic, brave and confident. A soldier who fights for what she believes in and stands her ground. Loves food and isn't hiding it. 10/10 one of my favourite women.

4. Matthias Helvar: 18 year old bigoted prick but we grow to love him as he develops. Looks like he could kill you and he most definitely can, but won't because he's a sweetheart (after he overcomes the prejudices that were put into his head).

5. Jesper Fahey: 17 year old that loves his guns and his gambling. Comedic relief, smart, incredible sharpshooter, charming and just overall a lovely character. I love him and some of his scenes broke my heart. He sometimes deserves better than what he gets.

6. Wylan: 16 year old- the rich boy of the group. Smart and brave. Even tho he is sort of 'nerdy' I love that he wasn't stereotypical at all. He is sassy and stands up for himself and for those he feels are being wronged, even against Kaz when he's at gis worst-definitely shows the kid was some courage in him.

Positives:

I love that we get chapters from all 6 perspectives. This way we really get to know the characters on a personal level, really see inside each of their minds. They are all brilliantly well developed characters- they go through changes, they learn to adapt, they learn that some things are not as black and white as they thought. We really get enough insight into their past, and we learn why each character is the way that it is. Details are given in time, not all at once. It really feels as if we are literally inside their brains. Each chapter made me feel as if I was becoming the character. The only character that doesn't have his own chapters in Six of Crows is Wylan, but Leigh Bardugo makes up for it in Crooked Kingdom.

-What attracted me to this book in the first place was the gang aspect; it somehow reminded me of Peaky Blinders. Despite it being about a heist, there is romance, not as the main focus but more as a subplot I would say-just enough to make you enjoy it without taking away from the main plot. The books also have lots of funny, heartwarming moments. Not to mention the heartbreaking ones. I can't even remember how many times I sobbed reading the books. I still cry about it sometimes, years after I read it for the first time. This what tells me a book is good: I think about it months and in this case, years after I've first read it.

-another positive is the diversity in these books: we have characters dealing with addiction, disabled characters, characters of colour, plus sized characters, characters dealing with trauma, characters dealing with various mental disorders, characters of different religions(although fictional) and characters of different sexualities. There is something for everyone. It also deals with xenophobia and sex trafficking, forced prostitution and fetishizing of different traits such as skin colour, hair colour etc. It also keeps a pretty feminist approach- there is no rivalry between the two girls in the group( Nina and Inej) and they are incredibly supportive of each other( i LOVE a good female friendship). Even when talking about the girls who 'work' at the brothels, they aren't shamed if they are there by choice- they are supported, which was good to see; it is important to see a book where sex workers aren't shamed or judged, especially considering that there is still stigma around the profession.

-what i also enjoyed is that the plot is not predictable. It keeps you on edge, it challenges you to guess the possible outcomes of every situation. Even the plans and schemes are sometimes(most of the time) hidden- we don't really learn the purpose of something until after it is done. Leigh Bardugo's mind is incredible- she comes up with the most amazing plot twists and turns. You can't really get bored of it- because if you don't keep reading, you may never find the real plan, the real purpose, why the characters choose to do certain things. It is honestly so entertaining to try to guess what happens next.

Negatives: -it does take a while to get into the action. The beginning of Six of crows involves a lot of planning, scheming, secrets- which to me seems only natural. We follow these characters through their journey and their journey isn't action packed at all times(this said, the book is never boring; there are interesting things happening at all times, even if we didn't reach the main part of the plot). The actual heist itself is more focused towards the second half of the book and that's where it really gets intense. If in the first half you find time to relax and breathe, in the second half everything comes crushing down. For me the pace wasn't a problem but I know some people like to get into things right away.

-sometimes it's hard to believe that the characters are 16 to 18. They seem so much older, so mature at times but this again seems normal to me. They went through traumatic events that most people don't go and shouldn't go through at such a young age. They were forced to grow up and mature fast because otherwise they wouldn't be alive. It's not really a negative in my opinion, but thought it was worth mentioning.

Overall, this duology is a 10/10 for me, 5/5 stars. I read it so many times and will continue to re-read it. Each time I read it, I enjoy it the same as I did when I first discovered the books. Leigh Bardugo is an amazing author.

#six of crows #leigh bardugo #crooked kingdom #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #nina zenik #mathias helvar #review #booklover #books

[perikallis]

MEET THE MUSE POWER HOUR!! ━━ take a seat and REPOST this detailed little bio with criteria to introduce the world to your muse.     no reblog karma or tagging ━  if you see this on your dash, feel free to partake in it! ☆ ━ B A S I C S . NAME:: Zinon Konstantinou / Republic of Cyprus NICKNAME(S):: none actually, as his name comes from Ancient Greek; it’s possible that his name is already short for some other name that has been lost in time. But if you want to pay him back on his usual sweet talk and make him melt in private or embarrass him in public, you can call him Zinakis (Zinaki mou) or Zizis (Zizi mou). Note that these are Greek diminutives so they work under the assumption that your muse knows Greek too. In English I guess you can use Zino, tho he’ll probably wonder what’s the point of dropping just the last letter of his already short name AGE:: around 2,300 yo, says he’s 28 in physical age   GENDER:: male, he/him NATIONALITY:: Cypriot ☆ ━ A P P E A R A N C E . EYE COLOR:: green-brown/hazel   HAIR COLOR:: dark brown (dark enough that you might be fooled to think his hair is black until you see it flare copper in sunlight)   HAIRSTYLE:: a simple, short/medium haircut with voluminous curls falling over his forehead and the sides and back cut a little shorter (short enough that the curl texture can be hard to see fresh after a haircut). Maintains a careful hair routine to keep his curls looking their best and meticulously styles his hair every morning as in its natural state it can get pretty wild and frizzy   HEIGHT:: 174 cm / 5′8 1/2′’ WEIGHT:: 71 kg / 157 lbs   BUILD:: lean, broad shouldered, athletic... defined but not bulky, most of his muscles are in his legs from his running hobby TATTOO(S):: olive branch on the left side of his chest over his heart, and text tattoos on both of his forearms (on the inside as they’re not really meant to be shown off but exist more as personal reminders), the right arm reading “ΙΧΘΥΣ” (ichthys, fish in Greek but also a Christian acronym) and the left arm “ανέχου και απέχου” (anéchou ke apéchou, sustain and abstain), a motto from his favourite philosopher SCAR(S):: bullet entry and two surgery scars on his right shoulder, lash marks on his back that he refuses to talk about, lots of shrapnel from the WWs dotting his torso and legs, circumcision scar, various nicks and scratches on his arms and shoulders that he probably can’t (or doesn’t want to) recall the origin of. In case you were wondering, he has enough steel in him to set off airport metal detectors PIERCING(S):: left earlobe, usually wears a peridot stud there PREFERRED FASHION:: fitted t-shirts, chinos, and loafers for shoes, and if he wants to get fancier, he’ll throw a blazer on top. He likes quality (read: expensive) brands. Sometimes he’ll also wears button-ups outside of work but unless he’s going to the church, there is no force in the world that can make him button the shirt all the way up. He also likes wearing jewellery: besides his earring, he wears a golden cross necklace under his shirt and a thin golden band on his right ring finger (fake wedding band to ward off unwanted attention and uncomfortable questions about his marital status), as well as a watch... don’t expect it to actually help him be on time tho

TYPICALLY SMELLS LIKE:: woodsy and citrus-y cologne that may have been applied a little too generously, cigarette smoke that clings to his clothes and hair, whatever stuff he styles his hair with, and coffee breath ☆ ━ P E R S O N A L I T Y . POSITIVE TRAITS:: allocentric || appreciative || calm || caring || challenging || charming || creative || compassionate || dramatic || efficient || focused || imaginative || liberal || loyal || neat || non-authoritarian || observant || witty || NEUTRAL TRAITS:: stubborn || perfectionist || sarcastic || confident || prideful || competitive || rash || unsentimental || artful || casual || complex || emotional || honest || outspoken || sensual || NEGATIVE TRAITS:: abrasive || argumentative || blunt || crass || cynical || egocentric || fatalistic || hesitant || indulgent || irritable || lazy || libidinous || meddlesome || moody || neurotic || passive || possessive || vague || LIKES:: cooking and eating good food, drinking coffee, indulging his loved ones, plants and flowers, nature/green spaces, the colour green, running (away from his problems), reading philosophy and self-help books, saving money (but also shopping expensive stuff; his argument here is that buying a quality item is an investment), pomegranates, math, napping and sleeping in when he can, and watching Hallmark movies and chic flicks (a secret guilty pleasure)     DISLIKES:: being yelled at/criticised/scolded, admitting that he’s in the wrong or doesn’t know the answer, being stuck in traffic, things/people not working the way he thinks they should, falling short of his own (high) standards, someone calling Cypriot coffee Turkish (call it Turkish at your peril), answering questions about his personal life or socioeconomic and geopolitical Situation™, rain/snow, being cold, the smell of roses, high fives, cockroaches, and wearing socks PHOBIAS / FEARS:: failure, never being good enough, becoming corrupt, becoming a burden to his loved ones, being useless/unneeded and thus unwanted, losing his composure/self-control (and relating to his fear of losing control, he’s also somewhat emetophobic), thunder, public speaking, and horses HABITS:: carries a frappe with him about half the time, smokes like a chimney especially towards the evening, talks with his hands, sometimes drives his car with no hands, always fiddling with something in his hands (if nothing else is available, the komboloi comes out from his pocket), is casually affectionate with others both verbally and in gestures, and apologises a lot (istg “I apologise” has become his catch phrase)     ☆ ━ R E L A T I O N S H I P S . SEXUAL ORIENTATION:: gay ROMANTIC ORIENTATION:: gay RELATIONSHIP STATUS:: his life is a mess and he’s married to his job (and the other issue is with his ‘deviant’ sexuality... however it doesn’t mean he never has needs for intimacy and may occasionally seek out casual relationships)

☆ ━ H E A L T H . CHRONIC CONDITIONS:: depression, PTSD, neuropathic pain in his right arm due to nerve damage, chronic stress and insomnia (constant fatigue, restlessness/anxiety, tension headaches and occasional dizzy spells as by-products of all the other stuff) ADDICTIONS:: nicotine (stress smoker with roughly a pack a day habit) and coffee, likely also dependent on antidepressants to function

(drinks alcohol very carefully in polite company - never more than two drinks - but drinks quite heavily in secret... and also lapses into a drinking spree once a year around dates that have no good memories associated to them)

ALLERGIES:: N/A

☆ ━ H O M E . PLACE OF RESIDENCE:: two bedroom flat in Strovolos, Greater Nicosia, and a village house in Pano Lefkara (and also a villa in Paphos tho this one is rarely used) METHOD OF TRANSPORTATION:: by car if the destination is more than 5 mins away PETS:: considers himself too busy to keep pets, he has houseplants instead ☆ ━ W O R K  &  E D U C A T I O N. JOB:: has an office job in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, along with his representative and diplomatic tasks as a nation (has enough paperwork that he often ends up burning the midnight oil to get through it all) SCHOOLING:: school of life he received his primary education from the Greeks, Romans, and Arabs, and was later educated mostly by Orthodox priests and bishops. He has been trained in the arts of war and diplomacy both by the Frankish kings and later in the Enderun Palace School in the Ottoman era. Most of his formal education is from the modern era and he holds degrees in Classical Studies, Medicine, Economics, International Relations, and Public Policy from the universities of Oxford and London. He hasn’t practiced medicine since the 60s and dropped the title of “Dr” with his most recent name change. He is still certified as a medical officer in the National Guard and has the skill set roughly equivalent to an EMT SPOKEN LANGUAGES:: Greek Cypriot and Turkish Cypriot vernaculars, Standard Greek and Standard Turkish (both with a distinct Cypriot accent), English (with RP accent), French, Arabic, Farsi, Latin, Ancient Greek, Koine Greek, and bits and pieces of Russian, Italian (more specifically Venetian), Armenian, German, and Cantonese SKILLS:: cooking, gardening, lying, carrying secrets, handling various weapons, emergency/battlefield medicine, sewing, playing tavli (aka backgammon), playing the piano, calligraphy (his handwriting is really pretty to look at but then you look closer and realise it’s illegible), traditional and modern dancing, mixing drinks, interpreting and translating thanks to being fluent in like 7 languages, scary quick mental math ☆ ━ R A N D O M . QUIRKS:: follows Stoicism as a life philosophy (he seems sweet and unassuming on the surface but dig a little deeper and you hit the bedrock pretty quickly), cannot take a compliment (but secretly craves them), doesn’t like asking for help, collects komboloi (aka worry beads) - the nice ones made with real gemstones and silk tassels, has the patience of a saint but there is a limit to it and you don’t want to see what happens when that limit reached, is ridiculously sensitive to cold, battles an ongoing national identity crisis, and teeters on the edge of a burnout every few weeks

RELIGION:: Greek Orthodox Christian (devout in his faith but has a few personal issues with the church and its views)

THEME SONG(S):: What The Water Gave Me - Florence + The Machine

#🌿 | know first who you are and then adorn yourself accordingly (hcs) #me introducing my muses: and on this side of the rink we have a certified hot mess #in case you were wondering why I've been quiet recently #this thing is the reason #this thing took me two months of research so you better like it xD jk #sorry it's long but tungler refused to let me put a readmore

[scrutineyeze]

i’m seeing a lot of ppl tossing around ideas about the nature of Fear & the Fourteen Fears (& some about the Extinction & its place in that), so i thought i’d try my hand at it too, lol. these thoughts have been kicking around my head for a while, & i’d be really interested in hearing what others think about this !

gonna put a warning here just about descriptions of fear/s & stuff. also a heads up: this contains spoilers for all of the magnus archives up to date [6/29/2020] and also i have A Lot of thoughts & can Not shut up, so this got. long. (2.7k) & ,,, increasingly weirdly worded bc uhh that’s kinda How I Write

without further ado: my thoughts on Fear, its facets, & how Old these might be. possibly also featuring mentions of the sublime & various things i’ve read. (i’ll work to paraphrase and/or quote these things as succinctly as possible.)

01. introduction 02. Fear: that it is not distinct Fears 03. Fear: a continuation, that it is in Facets 04. on the separation & age of such Facets 05. on, indeed, why such facets cannot be seen are Separate 06. some closing thoughts

01. thesis: robert smirke is Wrong about Fear. robert smirke believes that Fear is distinguishable into Fourteen Separate Fears; this has been shown to be, of a sort, already incorrect, as jonah magnus figured out & demonstrated with the only successful ritual, which entailed bringing in all the “fears” at once. however, to think of them as distinct Fears as in plural is a misunderstanding.

02. the following are selections from the meno, a dialogue written by plato & this translation is from Cathal Woods. beginning at 71d.

Socrates: … But you yourself, divine Meno, what do you say virtue is? … Meno: M: But it's not hard to say, Socrates. To begin with, if you want the virtue of a man, it's easy. A man's virtue is this: to attend to the affairs of the city effectively and in the process to benefit his friends and harm his enemies and make sure that he suffers nothing similar himself. If you're looking for the virtue of a woman, it's not hard to express. It's to manage her home well, preserving her possessions and being obedient to her husband. And there's a different virtue for children, both male and female, and for an old man, and, if you want, for a free man and, if you so desire, for a slave. And there are so many other virtues that there's no problem saying what virtue is, since there's a virtue for each occupation and stage of life with respect to each function of each person. And I take the same to hold for vice, Socrates. Socrates: It seems I've had some great good fortune, Meno, if, when looking for a single virtue, I have discovered in your possession some kind of swarm of virtues.

socrates then goes on to ask about bees & if meno thinks that they differ from each other insofar as “their being bees” or if they only differ through other means, such as beauty, size, colour, etc. meno says that they differ by other means, not through their being bees, & socrates presses then that virtue must be the same: there must be something which makes each of the attributes which meno listed virtues, and that connecting thread must be Virtue.

imagine, then, that we are talking about fear. (not so hard to do, when we are talking about fear lol.) so it might follow thus:

Socrates: meno, what is fear? Meno: Well, it is of corruption, and of violence, and of death, and of …

and so on—except that meno could, of course, differentiate further than simply the fourteen which smirke spoke of. as said in 111 “Family Business:”

I always think it helps to imagine them like colours. The edges bleed together, and you can talk about little differences: “oh, that’s indigo, that’s more lilac”, but they’re both purple. I mean, I guess there are technically infinite colours, but you group them together into a few big ones. A lot of it’s kind of arbitrary. I mean, why are navy blue and sky blue both called blue, when pink’s an entirely different colour from red?

and, of course, he goes on to say:

I mean, you could see them all as just one thing, I guess, but it would be pretty much meaningless, y’know, like… like trying to describe a… shirt by talking about the concept of colour.

but i would (will) argue that it isn’t meaningless to try to describe Fear as it is, which is as a single Entity. because it is the differences by other means (beauty, size, shape) which distinguish the facets of Fear, and not that it is distinct from itself by its Being Fear. that which makes us afraid—and us here, and likely everywhere, will be in reference to living things which feel fear in general, tho i will try to make myself clear at any time i speak less or more generally—makes us afraid through its Shared Connection to Fear, not through its connection to any other thing or other attributes. if something has the capacity to induce fear, then it must contain within itself the connection to Fear, or its being scary—the way that a bee, regardless of its other features, will always share with other bees their Being Bees, and the way that virtues must all contain within themselves that which Makes Them Virtuous in order to be listed as virtues at all. “that which Makes Them Virtuous,” socrates says, must be Virtue, & he spends the whole dialogue trying to get meno to help him answer that question (plus an interesting part about memory & reincarnation, but that’s unrelated).

(i’m going to say here that you Really Don’t Have To Read the meno. i uh personally dislike plato, esp when he’s not talking about love—but this is neither here nor there.)

03. so this brings us to, well, if Fear isn’t separate, then what are the Fourteen in relation to Fear? i’d say that they’re Facets of Fear, the way that honeybees and bumblebees are both bees, and aren’t different insofar as “their being bees,” but they are different in terms of other things, such as size and shape, so you might call them Facets (or different manifestations) of Bee-ness.

this does, also, allow for the looseness of seeing Fear like Colour. you can stick to the basics—blue, red, yellow, green, etc.—or get into specifics—ochre, cerulean, lilac—but you’re still discussing Colour. at the same time, Fear works similarly; you can speak of Fear of change (which would include fears such as uninjured to injured, healthy to sick, alive to dead), of depths (which is my reasoning against the point in 111 that “[s]ome really clash, and you just can’t put them together” … “I doubt The Buried would be bringing through The Vast,” because the fear of both seems to me as significantly more similar than dissimilar: the fear is often categorized as not being able to breathe, due to a too-much or not-enough, and also as the fear of being insignificant in comparison to the size, the fear of a deepness you will Never comprehend that Will Swallow you—a video i would Highly Recommend is “Fear of Depths,” made by Jacob Geller; he talks mostly about caves, the darkness you can’t see into, the call of the void. he talks some of the creatures at the bottom of the ocean, a lot about various video games, including a platformer which causes you to lose the floor. it’s a game about going deeper, ever deeper, and yet … you’re plunged into a massive, empty space. it’s a very, very good video. cw for talking about someone dying stuck in a cave.)—and you can speak of Fear in specifics, even more into detail than the Fourteen do. the Fourteen seems, to me, as a relatively easy nomenclature for these things, especially as understanding these things involve “paradoxes that most adults couldn’t handle” (111)

04. and i’m not arguing, necessarily, against using such nomenclature. to talk about Fear is difficult—i believe, much like socrates believes in Virtue, that there must be something that we can speak to which will succinctly categorize all that we find Scary, but, just like socrates and his search for Virtue rather than the naming of virtues, i find myself at a loss. i have my own thoughts on its connection to the sublime, & how terror and awe meet—how i find it impossible to separate the two, and other thoughts on how perhaps calling what i’m speaking of Fear is a reduction of what it Is—but i think putting those thoughts in another meta is a better organization of my thoughts.

so to talk about Fear in a much more manageable way, to talk about it in its particulars, in its Facets, allows us to better speak to it, just as, when trying to speak of Bravery, one does not need to speak of all things Virtuous.

however, i do believe it important to bear in mind the distinction between something being a Facet of Fear, and something being A Separate Fear. this is when we come to the “age” of various “fears,” or facets. this is another point at which i believe that robert smirke is wrong. he believes that the flesh is the youngest entity, that the end is old & so is the dark—and i’ve seen further speculation from there, about the eye being young—which, in light of how the eye (or, at least, jonah magnus, which i think is more likely, as it does seem Fear is malleable based on belief—as it should be, if it is to reflect our Fear) feels about children’s fears (cf. “Night Night,” ep. 173), i’ve seen quite a bit about

in order for fear to exist, the Fear must have been there since the first time fear was felt—or must have been created simultaneously with it, or some such thing. if Fear is indeed how i’ve described it, and smirke took the easy way out by calling it by its Facets as meno did Virtue, then i would argue against the saying that one facet of Fear is older than another—especially because the difference seems only to be in how close one pays attention.

consider the hunt and the eye, for a moment. at first glance—indeed, likely from smirke’s point of view—the hunt would be an older fear than the eye. we understand the hunt to be the fear of being chased, the fear of being made prey, the fear of predators lurking or stalking or hunting. and we understand the eye to be the fear of being watched, seen, known, of having our secrets brought into the light—the eye, as i’ve seen algie @equalseleventhirds say (along with a great deal of other things that i find highly interesting! they have had a lot to say about the connection between fears—fear soup is the nomenclature there—& also about jonah’s effect on the apocalypse & the distinction of Fear that we’ve seen in season five; all of this i highly recommend checking out) is younger than others, and from how these facets are understood now, it seems possible

after all, animals have been afraid of being prey since there were first hunters.

except to be hunted, you must first be Seen. how many animals protect themselves through camouflage? how long have animals used camouflage to protect themselves? how many animals Must fear being Seen just as much as being Hunted because, to them, those facets are inextricable?

05. which brings us to the facets being incapable of being made separate. we—and once more, this is all living things which can feel fear—don’t ever fear only One Thing At A Time.

from a piece of my writing (which is still very much in the works):

“Fear … isn’t that separate. The cabin fed on your fear of loss, yes, but also of being alone—of being left alone. Of being the sole survivor. Of watching us slip away—of losing us to an unfathomable violence that hid[es] … you’re not only afraid of one thing, Tim. It all blurs together.”

in this instance, i’m talking about desolation—kind of. 111 describes it as the “[f]ear of pain, fear of loss, fear of unthinking or cruel destruction.” but where does the fear of pain stop connecting to the fear of being prey, of being the victim of some unexpected violence? from “the Eye Opens,” ep. 160:

You see, the thing about the Fears is that they can never be truly separated from each other. When does the fear of sudden violence transition into the fear of hunted prey? When does the mask of the Stranger become the deception of the Spiral?

where does the fear of loss stop being the fear of being alone? if you’re afraid of losing those you love, you’re also afraid of being made separate from them, of being alone, aren’t you?

even the flesh, which smirke thinks began with the industrial revolution, must have existed since there were first bodies. even if included within other facets, there are so many things which force us to recall our own physicality in the worst way. in the disease & decomposition of bodies—in things like gangrene, in the bacteria that consume flesh—in the witnessing of flesh (sometimes yours) in the mouths of predators—hyenas and lions don’t always kill their prey being beginning to consume it—

humanity’s stories are full of reminders, too. we have cannibalism in our fairytales (hansel & gretel) & we have it in our propaganda: horror stories ranging from during the famine in Jerusalem during Titus’ siege—Reza Aslan’s Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth, “There were scattered reports of Jews who succumbed to eating the dead.” and i think i’ve read of similar rumors spread about early christians eating children, tho can’t currently find any sources—and also in significantly more recent times we also tell stories of various people participating in cannibalism, or of monsters which only consume human flesh, or people driven to starvation (cf. ep. 58, “Trail Rations”)—these stories aren’t new. living things have probably feared our own bodies since we had the knowledge that they age and deteriorate and die—that we must eventually end because of them.

this is also why i don’t believe the extinction is any more than another facet of Fear, just like any other; (from “Rotten Core,” ep. 157) “[p]erhaps it is an existential fear that flows through the others like a vein of ore.” it overlaps with and through and into the other facets just as each other in turn folds into the rest. i mean ,,, how many apocalypse-setting shows/books/movies/podcasts exist now? how big was the “2012 as the end of the world” thought? (they made a movie about it: 2012.) us, our end, & the life that comes after … i’m put in mind of a post i recall going around:

“but we built robots, who have beat-up hulls and metal brains, and who have names; and if the other people come and say, who were these people? what were they like?

the robots can say, when they made us, they called us discovery; they called us curiosity; they called us explorer; they called us spirit. they must have thought that was important.

and they told us to tell you hello.”

06. this has all been a rather long-winded (and somewhat meandering) proposition on how Fear might work—i’m Very interested in how other people think about Fear/the Fears/the Fourteen (& if anyone wants to talk to me about the Sublime & where that meets Fear, i’d ! be Very interested in talking about that, i might make another post about that too). i see each facet of Fear as inextricable—when talking and/or writing about them, i find it hard to keep any of them separate at all, especially when it comes to fears i specifically have myself. what do other ppl think ? how separate do you see the various fears/facets ?

#tma #the magnus archives #magnuspod #meta #season 5 spoilers #ig idk i kinda only referenced night night & an au version of cozy cabin #but anyway yeah ! i have a lot of thoughts on how fear works ! im very curious to see how other ppl think it works ! #pls come talk to me about the nature of fear lmao !

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Animal Instinct + Dead Disco | Writing Update

Hey People of Earth!

We’re back with another Moth Work update because ya girl has finished two chapters and is here to spill all the tea! If you missed update one, and two, be sure to check them out before reading this one! I’ve been having a bit of cabin fever with this project lately which has made it difficult to really immerse myself into the project. But we’re almost at the 20k mark of this project which is wILD! I never imagined writing so much of this story (which was initially just a guilty pleasure) and I’m happy with how much I’ve learned about my characters just through this small detour in the series.

The first chapter I’ll be updating on is chapter four, ANIMAL INSTINCT. 

This chapter was a giant pain to finish! It had about 5000 revisions mid-draft, and I definitely feel like I had blinkers on when writing it. Because of that, I lost sight of the big picture and really got stuck on the little things, like the writing and overall quality of the project. This was not actually the purpose of Moth Work--it was supposed to be a dumping ground for whatever. However, in this chapter, I became really hyperfocused on all the small details I disliked which made drafting it a month-long process. I’ve now come to a slightly healthier place with quality in this draft, and found a middle ground between trash-dumping and nitpicking. 

What’s it about?

Animal Instinct is a major point of tension for Lonan and Harrison as their goals deviate. This chapter focuses heavily on the volatility of their relationship and highlights Lonan’s current irrational mental state. The title stems from this idea of calculated action for the sake of a single person’s benefit. 

The writing bit: 

I struggled to write this chapter quite a bit. It took me the majority of July to complete because of a major logic problem I kept running into. After struggling for a few days, I finally realized by fleshing out what I’d written initially, I could overwrite the logic problem. The solution took a lot of work/test scenes to figure out, but eventually I got it!

Excerpts:

I shared this excerpt before because it’s one of the only paragraphs I don’t mind in this chapter! I think the flow is a lil funky but I dig the concept! This outlines the last bits of the cabin, specifically Harrison’s final check around the perimeter. 

Around the corner, the back patio is static—like Anna and her son never stopped sitting there. Her bowl of avocado and Greek yogurt—the holistic remedy Emily said would make her glow like an angel—sits gummy and pestered with flies. One of Milo’s toys is wedged under the cheap lawn chair. It haunts him, seeing them while not seeing them, but he leaves everything like it is. Anna and her son will always remain on the patio, Anna with her cheekbones splayed for the moon, Milo babbling mildly about his father like he hasn’t made the connection. They’ve gone invisible.  

After this first scene, Harrison does some driving in the dark which gives me major book three vibes lol, and eventually pulls into a motel somewhere in Nevada. This route from Oregon to Boston makes no sense but I conveniently needed Lonan to end up in Vegas, so!! do it for Vegas!!

In the motel, Harrison meets Jeremiah, his potential new man lol. Harrison is focused on getting in and out of there as quickly as possible, but he’s like dang mans teeth are the straightest I ever did see (me too tho). Because he gets distracted, he fails to notice his car turn off, and only makes the connection after passing it a few times in the parking lot. He minorly paniques as he looks for Lonan, but eventually finds him around the building. 

The scene that follows gets volatile as heck, and really showcases how similar Lonan and Reeve are? Like dang that whole family tho? (Can I join?)

I’m not going to share much of this scene because she gets dramatic, but this is the wildest dialogue I’ve written in a while and I think I’m going to steal it and make Reeve say it because something like this would come out of her mouth:

“Do you feel that, Harrison? I could burn you with a cigarette and call it a wolf bite and nobody would know the difference.” 

sounds normal at first then NOPE

The next chapter (chapter 5) is called Dead Disco:

This chapter came together very quickly because I’d had it basically planned out, however, it veered into an emotional direction I wasn’t expecting. This chapter was supposed to be fun and lighthearted, and it ended up being... not that??  

What’s it about?

After the tragic drama that occurs in the previous chapter, Harrison wakes up the next morning to notice that Lonan has #left and #taken the car. This is v/ not good, but instead of getting super worked up he chooses to chill out at Jeremiah’s place and chill ft. some disco. I meant for it to be cute but Harrison ends up in a mental place I wasn’t expecting, so the chapter feels a bit “derealized” to me. After both Lonan and Harrison head out on their solo endeavors, they meet back up and this encounter ends *badly*. 

Playlist:

July 31st Rachel was feeling very enthusiastic about the playlist for this chapter (I was writing while listening to music) and wrote down a list of songs that describe the progression of this chapter (in order + all Nothing But Thieves because predictable!):

Holding Out For A Hero

Crazy

Afterlife

Hanging

Excuse Me

Forever & Ever More

You Know Me Too Well

I’m Not Made By Design

Amsterdam

Number 13

Itch

Hostage

BUT SHOUTOUT TO: Disco by Surf Curse

Probably the most accurate vibe here lol

Excerpts:

This first excerpt is Harrison angsting hard about missing his friends. I don’t *love* her but I don’t *hate* her! I tried revising it but it... flopped, so here’s the failed revision:

Lonan could say those words and it haunts him, how easily he taints him like a bad omen. There are so many things Emily would tell him to do to cleanse the bad magic, but Harrison recalls none of them properly. He remembers words like moon, and black walnut, and quartz crystal, and cardamom, but can’t think of what to do with any. He wishes he were like Foster, curious enough to carry around a pocket dictionary, or like his mother, clever enough to make something up on a whim. All Harrison can do is bury his face in his palms outside the restaurant and hope no one watches him. The main road bustles by and he wishes to be invisible, like Anna and her son. He wants his friends back. Foster could lull him to consciousness with a quiz on the different kinds of plants, which are edible, which are poisonous. Reeve would split a cigarette with him and scare him back to life with her driving. Emily will never speak to him but at least she’d cast a curse on him, and even that’s better than his nullified state of living. It’s disorienting, to feel asleep while awake. Harrison blinks hard, but everything feels the same—the buildings all shimmering, the people staring barely even people, everything derealized like it’s all been coated in REM. 

(tag urself i’m foster’s pocket dictionary)

This next excerpt outlines Harrison getting turnt with his new man and then getting philosophical? drunk Harrison be Aristotle and Madonna smushed together idk

Harrison knows he shouldn’t drink around a stranger but Jeremiah’s got a handmade bracelet and scribbly tattoos on his forearm so it’s hard not to trust him. Photo prints of hostels in Japan, statues in Europe, cathedrals in Paraguay decorate the walls in perfectly cut rectangles. Each is plumed with a dried flower and it reminds Harrison so much of Emily, he has to look away, back to the Lonan-coloured drink. He studies the shot glass like it isn’t transparent, the grooves around the perimeter, the engraving that reads Cancun 1987. He loses Jeremiah’s absent swish around him, and gets lost in the blue. The trifecta amazes him, how a colour as unnatural as this has manifested in Lonan’s eyes, his earring, this drink. He tips the glass back and finishes it in one go, and even though it’s strong and should taste like artificial blueberries, his mouth is tasteless and numb.

“You live here alone?” Harrison asks, raking his fingers through his hair. The apartment overlooks the strip across the street and Harrison gets lost in it, the artificial signs like bad advertising, the neons ill like influenza. When he looks toward Jeremiah again, his glass is refilled and he has to think hard to remember if he emptied it in the first place. 

This is where Harrison manages to make disco big sad + some lowkey salt at Lonan which is always! a! win!:

Together, they move in a trance, limber and manic. The glass in Harrison’s hand isn’t a weight—it’s a lifeline. The apartment blurs, and waves in slow motion. Harrison doesn’t hear the music or taste the drink; he feels nothing in the ground, and everything in his tongue. His hair swims in his face like Lonan’s, moving like he did in the water, careless in his forehead, his eyes. The pictures on the wall become the pictures in his bedroom, and the blinking doesn’t get rid of them. In his sidesteps with Jeremiah he sees him, in the glass, across the street, under a streetlamp. Taking his cigarettes, his light, his car, his mouth like a cannibal. 

To end this update, here’s some dialogue ft. savagery:

“You’re patronizing me.”

“You’re patronizing yourself.” 

A meme to accompany this lol:

So that’s it for this update! At the time of drafting most of this post (which was a few weeks ago), I wasn’t really feeling this project, however, after writing chapter 6 and switching POVs into Lonan’s head (where there’s lots of messy stuff to work with), I’ve been having a lot of fun!

I’m sorry updates have been slow on this blog--I’m in the process of moving so I’m getting busy, however, I hope to post at least one more update before I go off to school! Thanks for reading. :)

--Rachel

#writing #writeblr #amwriting #writerblr #fostered #writingupdates #mothwork

[mao-s-mess]

Graduation ~Yoosung x MC fanfiction~

Yoosung Kim is only a month away to taking his finals exam in SKY University but MC starts acting suspicious during such a critical moment

Also on Fanfiction.net

Graduation Yoosung x MC fanfiction Disclaimer: All Mystic Messenger characters belong to Cheritz I didn't describe MC in detail so it could be any of the 5 MCs or your very custom ones! "MC! Come on!" a boy in his early 20s with bleached blonde hair and purple-coloured hair whined with a face of disappointment.

"No 'buts'. Your parents and sister also agree this is for the best. It is after all your finals." his girlfriend, MC; said sternly as she toss a bunch of the blonde's clothes into a luggage bag that was laid out on his bed.

Yoosung Kim crossed him arms and frowned at his girlfriend as she busily goes through his wardrobe.

In about a month's time, he will be seating for his final year examination in Veterinary medicine and what has been suggested and pretty much decided for him is that he and MC will be switching houses for the next month.

"Look, when you get pressured or stressed you tend to distract or 'de-stress' yourself with sleep or LOLOL or you start stress cooking. You're too comfortable in your own home so staying at mine where there's nothing much to do will be the best for you"

She was reaching for the last drawer when he frantically ran over and held it shut with his hands.

"I'll pack my underwear myself thank you!" he insisted as his ears and cheeks turned red.

MC raised her hands and backed away from his cabinet as he selected his underwear to pack.

"I know that's where you keep your por-"

"What?"

"I- i said don't forget to pack your SOCKS."

He nodded and threw in a few pairs of socks into the luggage looking very annoyed. His breathing was irregular; deep huffs but elongated exhales, a habit he has when he wants to say something but haven't found the words yet.

As much as MC found this habit of his adorable she had to stay serious. She knew oh so well he hated things planned out for him without his knowledge or approval but the exam stress has already gotten to him and it was only a matter of time before he has a breakdown and turns to his "can't be bothered" persona.

She walked up behind him and wrapped her arms across his torso; she felt his body tensing up as she did so. She didn't need to see his face to know he was blushing at her sudden action. She smiled as she buried her face into his back.

"MC?!" he flustered waiting for a response. When he recovered from the surprise hug, he placed his own hands over hers. He could feel her breath against his back as he looked down at her arms around him.

She wasn't that much older than him and just finished her university course shortly before she stumbled upon the RFA.

When MC came into the picture, it was probably the worst time for him; he was blinded from his grief of losing Rika, major hatred towards V, was lost with his directions in life as well as had difficulty handling his emotions but she accepted all that of him and even more; she helped him out of that phase in his life.

It has been about 2 years after the incident where he lost sight in his left eye at the hands of the hacker who called himself Unknown but the two have been inseparable since the party where he proclaimed his love and kissed her then and there.

It certainly wasn't an easy relationship being Yoosung's first and he had a rather fairytale concept and expectations of how a relationship should be. He realized the hard way that you either have to be seriously rich, like Jumin Han to pull a lot of things off or have magic and he had neither.

As for MC, it was a major test of patience and constant game of reassuring for Yoosung. She didn't have a relationship as serious as this before but both of them have managed to worked things out together even though they quarreled here and there.

"I just want what's best for you.." her voice muffled from burying her face into his back.

"Okay.." he responded in a defeated tone.

He turned around to give her a kiss on the forehead, when they first dated, he wasn't that much taller than her but he started participating in some sports and also joining Zen on some runs in the park outside Zen's place so he grew a bit, definitely more physical activity than when he was just playing LOLOL when he wasn't eating or at Uni.

"You're doing this because I'm important to you right?" he said with a small smile as he placed her palm against his cheek.

"You're number 1 to me!" she flashed the smile that he loves so very much.

"Meowww~"

Lisa, the cat they adopted together from Jumin 2 years ago nuzzled up against Yoosung's leg.

MC bend down to pick up Lisa to cradle her.

"Lisa's a close second tho, we're both rooting for you!"

Yoosung scratched Lisa behind her ear as she purred.

"Okay fine... I'll do it. I'll spend a month in your place for the finals... Thank you for thinking about me."

"Thank you! I've already asked Seven to help with your LOLOL. Either he plays your account or he'll assign a bot to it"

"A BOT?! I don't want to get banned! I'm currently number 1! I've only managed to beat Seven because he's always away on assignments now"

"Banned? Please. This is Luciel we're talking about. How bold of you to think he'll screw this up, this is a walk in the park for him."

"...Fine... i have lots of important gears there you know..."

"I know how much LOLOL is important to you. It was number 1 for you before I came along ;p " she said cheekily as she looked around for more things to pack.

"Okay okay.. can we have dinner and dates at times?"

"Yes of course! We'll play by ear as usual around your schedule"

"Okay.. how about next week, Wednesday then? I'm free the whole day"

MC froze up.

...?

"Uhm.. next Wednesday.. is no good... I have a meeting with Jaehee about uhm some part time event work thingy"

There it was. A habit Yoosung knows very well.

MC can't hide secrets or tell lies very well. On the Messenger and texts it's not so much of a problem. It's the face to face and phone calls that gives it away, she'll start to avoid eye contact and stutter.

"What are you hiding?"

"NO-NOTHING!" she waved her hands furiously as she went to grab more shirts from Yoosung's cupboard.

"I just have a meeting planned with Jaehee that is all! About some part time work thingy-YEA!"

Yoosung's brows scrunches up.

"And that's the reason you want me to bug her phone?" A boy not that much older than Yoosung with bright reddish orange hair and amber-coloured eyes asked with raised eyebrow.

Luciel Choi aka 707 was the RFA's secret agent/hacker/nonsense maker. He has a love for fast cars, cats, honey buddha chips and dr pepper. Yoosung came over (after a few attempts of trying to decipher Seven's security system) because MC hasn't revealed any plans on her day with Jaehee and that just made even more suspicious especially since her fabrication details keep changing.

First it was a meeting then it was a shopping trip and then it was a Zen fanclub related outing and then she said she was meeting family.

"She's not telling me anything. She usually does in the end"

"Maybe she's trying to keep something from you"

"We're not suppose to keep secrets! It's bugging me so yes that's why i want you to bug her phone so I can find out. What if she's not meeting Jaehee, what if- what if-"

Seven slapped a packed of Honey Buddha Chips across Yoosung's face (semi lightly) as he had chips in his own mouth, shaped like a duck.

"You realized this is MC. The woman who put up with your emotional ass even after you keep comparing her to Rika. If she didn't abandon you then, what makes you think she'll abandon you now"

Yoosung bit his lips. He knew Seven was right, words stung but he was definitely right. MC cheating on him would be the last thing she'd ever do. He felt bad doubting her for that option.

"I still want to know what she's hiding from me though"

"Ugh. You'll never leave until you get something anyway. So what's in it for me"

"That LOLOL limited edition gacha item you couldn't get because the event happened when you went incognito 2 months ago."

Seven's mouth opened and his duck chips fell out.

"WHAT... ARE YOU SERIOUS. PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY AUCTIONING THAT OFF FOR REAL MONEY"

"You can have it. I also got the rare one too"

Seven did an impression of Edvard Munch's The Scream. He was that much in shock.

"If i take it i can sell it for real money too?"

"Do whatever you want with it"

"Even to buy new accessories for my babies?"

"Wait-can it be auctioned off that much?"

"NO TAKE BACKS. Do we have a deal? Your LOLOL rare item for an all access day pass to MC's phone"

"Do it."

"YAHOO~ LET'S DO IT THEN" he swiveled around on his chair to face his monitors and starting tapping away at the keyboard.

"Tapping into her GPS location... Done.. She's at a cafe not too far off from the C&R building.. Let me just pull up one of the security camera feed and... THERE. "

Yoosung leaned over towards the monitor and sure enough there was MC.

"OHMYGOSH WHO IS THAT A HOT GUY SHE'S WITH" Seven exclaimed.

Yoosung heart leaped and started panicking as he scanned the monitor in depth.

"Oh. LOL. My bad. That's just Jaehee. 8D "

It was Yoosung's turn to slap Seven with the Honey Buddha Chips packet across the face; sure enough MC was with another RFA member, Jaehee Kang; personal assistant to Jumin Han.

He breathed a sigh of relief.

The two girls seems to be chattering away happily when MC's face turned serious as she put her cup of coffee down.

"Can we listen in on them" Yoosung asked as he tries to read their lips but failing.

"Okay okay..." Seven said as he starting clicking away at the keyboard again.

Some feedback could be heard on the speaker when MC and Jaehee's voice came on.

---

Jaehee: So what was it you wanted to talk about? And why are we keeping a secret about this from Yoosung?

MC: Well... cos it's embarrassing really..

Jaehee: Embarrassing? With how you two are always at each other, showering cringe-worthy compliments and texts? How can anything be embarrassing?

MC: Heehee...

MC clapped both her hands together suddenly in a pleading manner.

MC: JAEHEE TEACH ME HOW TO MAKE A GOOD CUP OF COFFEE PLEASE

Jaehee: What. Why me. And Yoosung learned how to brew coffee from his coffee club, wouldn't that be better?

MC: But you have more in depth info on it.. You are passionate about the beans and the roast.

Jaehee: A month ago you asked Mr. Han for a private cooking session with his chef. Then you were looking around for some classes on baking.. Now coffee from me? What's going on.

MC fidgeted and looked down, her face turning red.

MC: Well... I'm trying to be a good girlfriend for Yoosung.

Jaehee: I don't understand, aren't you already a good one? He can't stop raving about you.

MC: To be honest, he doesn't show it but he's doing most in the relationship. He'll insist on cooking and he's always trying out new recipes, he also insists on being the one paying for dates even though he isn't working yet, he saves up a lot for our dates. I try to help but his ego won't allow me to take some of that burden away, he believes as the man in the relationship, he's got duties to fulfill.

At this point a warm smile came across her face.

MC: He's giving his all to become a vet when he didn't have any motivation or purpose before; medical isn't an easy line and he's working extra hard because of his left eye injury too and he'll be so busy soon getting that license and practical and all.. I don't know...

MC blushes as she took another sip of her drink before she continued

MC: I just... I want to do more than just offer words of support to him. I want to support him as much as I can even something as little as cooking for him or preparing a cup of coffee when he needs it. I'll be looking for work soon so that I don't seem like a bum that is leeching off him.. So at least I can help our wit the groceries or bills and transport fees and all.. And probably save up for trips for when he gets a break and stuff... I just... I just want to do more for him you know?

Jaehee gave a small giggle as she slid her fork through the slice of cake in front of her.

Jaehee: You're really something.. Always having such a positive attitude towards the face of change. Or danger.

Jaehee shuddered at the memory.

Jaehee: I hope that bomb is finally removed.

MC and Jaehee laughed at that remark as they continued on.

---

Back at Seven's headquarters (?), Yoosung stood stunned at the conversation he just eavesdropped on.

After a while, tears welled up in his eyes and he turned furiously red in the face.

"Whoa. You're as red as my hair" Seven said as he grabbed his phone to snap a photo of Yoosung's crying face.

"You-you meanie. Whydyouhabtotakeapicturofme"

"Can't understand you. SELFIE" He grabbed Yoosung by the shoulder and snapped another photo before he ruffled up Yoosung's bleached hair.

"You realize how frickin' blessed you are now? Now go and study hard for that examination of yours. If not for Rika, If not for yourself then make it for your future with her."

Yoosung rubbed his eyes with the sleeves of his beloved hoodie. Another renewed resolution for himself.

Half a year later the RFA gathered at Yoosung's graduation ceremony at SKY university

"To think that kid didn't bothered with uni in the beginning, I didn't even know he was taking a course like veterinary" Zen said as he occasionally stopped to smile and wave at some female fans. His career as a musical artist soared beyond the stage and onto television in the past few years. That also meant more fans.

"Well he did it for Rika at first because of Sally..." V stated as he was adjusting the settings on his camera to ensure he doesn't miss any shots of Yoosung. Much to persistence of his fellow RFA members, he managed to receive an operation on his right eye to stop him from going blind. He slowly started to take photographs again.

"He always did perform better if it's for someone else but it is rather surprising that he graduated at the top of his class and is chosen as the valedictorian." Jaehee said as she scanned through the graduation event schedule.

"He worked really really hard! His parents and sister are in the front, i saw them just now. They're so so proud!" MC said proudly.

"Indeed he did, his results were so superb it caught wind from one of our medical panel and they've offered him a position in one of our hospitals to undergo private practice so his future is secured as of now" Jumin Han spoke in his usual tone of voice. "I did not even need to put in any word of recommendation."

"I managed to retrieve my number 1 spot in LOLOL again because of this, he stopped religiously for the past few months" Seven said as he took a sip from a can of Dr. Pepper.

"It was nice of him to invite all of us. I know 2 tickets were allocated but you can purchase additional tickets for everyone else." Zen said as he posed for some girls who were trying to sneak a photo of him.

"Oh i paid for it. C&R is a major sponsor for the graduation, which is why we have such good and somewhat private seating" Jumin stated as he adjusted his cuff links.

"Tch. You just had to ruin it" Zen glared at the trust fund kid. Their relationship, as usual; have seen better days.

"I think it's great we're all here though" MC said happily.

"Yea, Jaehee and I weren't there for his high school one and we got to make sure we get proper smiling one for today!" Seven said with determination.

"Oh, it's starting" V said as he readied his camera, he brought his best zoom lens for this as the crowd quieted down.

Professors and head of programmes gave their welcome speeches before the calling of graduates, there were a lot of names being called out. The RFA cheered and clapped loudly when Yoosung's name was read out.

Yoosung walked proudly onto stage as he tipped his graduation cap to the head of programme upon receiving his degree and posing for a picture. A proud moment for him and those who were there for him. They all waited for the rest of the graduates to receive their degrees before Yoosung was called to stage to deliver the valedictorian speech.

"An-nyŏng-ha-se-yo! My name is Yoosung Kim and I am honoured to be delivering the Valedictorian speech this year."

A round of applause roared across the hall as the his Amethyst eyes scanned the crowd for the RFA and his beloved.

"It's really an honour because I wasn't always a model student. Well I was in high school but something happened that made me not take the first 2 years of university seriously."

"You see, I failed my exams and sometimes I'd fall asleep in class. I'd forget days where there are quizzes and had almost no motivation to come to class, I would often skip classes to play LOLOL."

"However, there were people who did not give up on me and I am thankful that I was given another chance to pick myself up. I knew I had to put in the extra effort as I wasted the first two years despite having an accident that caused me to lose sight, literally; in my left eye. It wasn't easy that is for sure but because of this 2nd chance, I did the best I could in all classes and I guess it showed with my results and also the fact that I was chosen as the Valedictorian. "

"What I'm trying to say is, sometimes in life we'll get lost and we don't perform our best, we fall and fail and when that happens, it feels like you're surrounded by darkness but I know of a saying, "Fall seven times, get up eight". There is a light in all of us, sometimes you'll find it yourself but most times you are assisted by outsiders to help you realise your potential. I have friends and family inside and outside the uni that had my back, professors who saw my efforts in getting better helping me out and most of all, I have a wonderful and supportive girlfriend that stood by my side and I'm really thankful for that. It was because of her that I felt that i could do anything and everything I set my heart into."

"This kind of feels déjà vu-ish" Zen said as he listened intently to Yoosung's speech.

"SKY University never gave up on their students and i am proof of that. So fellow students and friends, we tip our hats to our Professors, to our family and friends that have supported us but most of all, give yourself a pat on the back because we made it!"

He ended his speech with a word of congratulations to the students and wishing them the best in their future before walking off the stage with a round of applause tailing him. As soon as he got off the stage he nodded to his family before running off to meet the members of the RFA.

He was congratulated by every member but his eyes were fixated on MC.

"Congratulations on graduating!" MC said as she threw her arms around him when she had the chance to.

Yoosung blushed and gave a cheeky grin.

"Who'd have thought I'd be chosen to deliver that speech!"

"Not us" said almost all of the RFA in unison in less than a split second.

"YOU GUYS ARE MEAN!" Yoosung said with a puffed up cheek before breaking into laughter with the rest of the RFA.

"I'd like to personally thank every one of you for being here and for never giving up on me when I wasn't bothered with uni."

Then he turned to MC

"Most of all, thank YOU for coming into my life and blessing me with all of you. I graduated from uni but I feel like I have also graduated from my old self with the end of this chapter in my life. It's time to move on with the next chapter and I feel like I can take anything on as long as you are by my side. "

"So..."

He held her hand when he suddenly kneel down on one knee to everyone's surprise and took out a small box from underneath his robe and opened it to reveal a ring.

"MC, will you please marry me and make me an even happier person than I thought I could ever be?"

THE END

#yoosung kim #mc #yoosung x mc #mystic messenger #mysme #mystic messenger fanfiction #mysme fanfic #mao-mysticmess #mao mysticmess #mao-s-mess #mao s mess #fanfiction #cheritz #707 #jaehee kang #jumin han #v #hyun ryu #jihyun kim #luciel choi

[sanrosa]

10:43pm

A month ago, exactly a month ago, I would not have imagined being in the position I am right now. Because a month ago, I still had uni assignments that were still due, I was still living with my one sister and mom, I had just applied for a learnership which I had hoped and prayed so much for - feeling optimistic because of the responses I gave for the interview, I still had a learner's licence that was about to expire and I was blatantly waiting for it to expire because there was no hope whatsoever anymore that I would get a test before it expires (my punctuality cost me a great amount), I still did not know how I'd really execute my vision of getting into the scenes and finally officially put myself out there as a rapper/artist, I still did not know either how I'd take advantage of the platforms I had initiated but did not carry on with (my blogs, youtube channels, twitter accounts, instagram, etc.) and I still had no full set idea of what I was going to do this year, like exactly what I'm working towards by the end of this unexpected gap year. This was all me, a month ago.

A month later... so much has changed, I'm quite amazed. So... I never quite really finished the assignments on time, and well, in summary: I failed. The hour I spent after reading that email, that hour- in pure shock, is one I will never quite forget. How I had emotions too many, yet none. A state of confusion, shock, heartbreak, deep sadness, then numbness, then acceptance, then happiness, then relief and joy. All in a matter of minutes. At the same time, I was trying not to feel either. I convinced myself that it is not that deep, I am strong and I will get through this. Because in a way, I had also expected it, the way things were going. I could not have expected that I pass with flying colours when the effort I was putting was minimal to none. Literally doing things last minute. So, while I was surprised at failing for the first time in my life academically, I honestly did not have anything or anyone else to blame but myself. The responsibility was completely my own and it is in my doing and way of handling my time that I succumbed to this position (of failure). So, yes, I do know that I am at fault. But fr, it just could not erase the fact that I was in shock hey. But I did move on from that rather quickly. And what I took from that moment were two things... A big lesson, and a big advice. The biggest lesson was (and will continue to be, until I truly learn and master it) - How to take control of my time and manage it efficiently! There will not a lesson as big as this one right here for me. Because it has become my biggest weakness and starting to become my most wounding one, unless I start acting right and learn it. I've been losing too much and too many precious things (opportunities, assets, beautiful moments) to my lack of time management skills. And it hurts! So I have no choice anymore other than to fully commit myself to respecting, cherishing and managing my time the way I'm supposed to, to get to exactly where I want to be. And well, I guess I'd say the advice is actually also in this lesson; Practice, practice, practice! Master the art of doing something when I need to and am able to. There's no better time than now. Anyways, next. Well, just a month ago I thought I'd be living with my sister for the year. But, my aunt and cousin came to visit for a weekend, and my cousin did not have a place to stay yet for his school year (res) so we found out he'll be staying with us. For a month. Jiki-jiki, a month later.. Both my sister and my cousin have left. Gone to their residences and off living their lives. As if I expected that?? I should've, right? No. Because my sister never actually said anything about leaving, and I genuinely thought my cousin was actually going to stay like a bit longer because who starts staying in a place in like the middle of the month, you know? So here I am now, lonely and sad they're both gone and I'm just left with my mother, who besides being a really cool and sweet human, likes to naaagg! about almost anything around the house. from the table not being wiped properly, to the windows, to the curtains, to the food and the way it was cooked, to the. Which, I'm not gonna lie, I understand as she is a black parent. I dislike it (extremely), but I do understand. I mean in any case, she probably has a lot of stress already so this is like her way of taking it out I guess (and lmao that is actually exactly what goes through my mind when she nags. I bounce her energy off, and not let it interfere with my energy, by keeping in mind that she's just trying to air out her 'boiling' thoughts, so i should not let it get to my emotions so that I have a bad vibe because the vibe that's been created. and it works like a charm). At the same time though, I'm not trying to paint a picture of her as an extremely 'complaintive' person lol, it's just i think that i'm not used to this energy anymore. I left the nest last year. Now that I've come back, I'm not sure how the hell I was able to handle such energy... cause it is lame as hell. But anyways, my point actually was how sad I am that my sis and cousin left. So abruptly even. Man. At least my cousin (who actually just left this morning) did leave me with something valuable. A truly valuable gift. He taught me how to make a beat. Just a day ago I didn't know practically anything about making beats. Not even the names of the types of instruments (snares, kicks, hi-hats, melodies). But now, I feel like I've unlocked a whole new world of understanding music. Cause now it feels like I even know exactly what went into the beats that these famous artists (Drake, Kanye, Nicki, PND, Cardi) use for the songs. Of course not exactly what they used, but more or less how they made it. And it looks easier now. My journey on being a rapper now looks more lit up cause bitch I'll even be producing my own hits now. Ah! Lol but okay, honestly, that was fire. And I'm truly and eternally grateful he helped with that. I hope he has a blessed year. Alright... next. (sigh) The learnership. Actually this one kinda still hurts deeply so I won't get too in detail about it, but... I did not get the learnership. Though I genuinely felt like I fit the criteria perfectly when I applied, as well as living very near to the workplace. Heaven only knows why I would be given such an opportunity and have the strength to actually take it, yet the outcome is a complete flop. Like I am honestly trying to understand why I even saw the ad in the first place... At such perfect timing (cause I was not going to be taking a gap year this year anyways)... All to just give me unnecessary hope? Why?? Why break my heart like that??? But ok yeah ... Life and shit. Anyways, the learner's licence. Haha, this one is quite interesting actually. Because to be truly honest, I had almost forgotten that I had a learner's licence. And I think it's because in my mind I had obtained the learner's, took driving lessons and had already planned to take the driver's test in PE, however I was in Gtown for most of last year, so it seemed like something that could not happen until I fully got back to PE, which was December. December came and went with all the fun I had and it completely slipped my mind that I could take lessons and a driver's test during the time. Came beginning of January, I'm preparing for school. Still no 'go book a test' in mind, until the middle/end of January (when it became final that I was not going to school this year) and I thought 'oh damn, this would be the perfect time to actually take lessons and book a test then'. Only to find out I am too darn late; the DLTC is all booked out. Oh, how I regretted wasting my time on idk what. 🙂💔 Fortunately, I was not too bummed out, considering I have another whole year to redo this then. Unfortunately, I stumbled upon a post by one of my favourite artists right now, Saweetie, and found out that she is doing a giveaway (brave of me to enter that world again, I know. I don't know what's my problem really) and well, I decided to enter it. Thing is though, it's a giveaway for a whole Tesla. Yes bitch, a whole entire mthrfking TESLA. And my ass is smart enough to think I would win it lol. Okay, God bless my heart. Anyways, so the catch is.... You need a driver's licence. OBVI! But I don't have one. YET! So, uhm, *cough cough* let me f**king book for learner's as soon as the day it expires!... Okay, done! Now let's go take the test 6 days later!... Okay, done! We passed... Done! Wooh. Now let's book for a driver's test as soon as you get home from writing the test cause we excited asf!... LMAO done! Now let's make sure it's a good date and good time astrologically too (cause that lowkey was the case with you writing the learner's test and boom you passed, even tho you didn't even check).... Done! Okay, we almost there, now go book for lessons at One Way (I'm sure they'll have spots for you cause it's a whole month and 3 days before you take your test lmao).... Done! Yay! I have a whole month to practice. Let's get it! Okay well, that's where I stand so far. Tuesday I'm then going to pay the booking fee and stuff. Then, take lessons from both the driving school and with my mother. Then take the test on Weed Day lmao. So after the test I smoke one up and celebrate victory. 😄 All in due time for the giveaway closing after two days. Wows. Whether I win the giveaway or not though, I'll just be glad that it seriously inspired me this much to finally get a driver's licence. Like, it genuinely pushed me hey. So boom I was able to get a licence this year 😁 Urrrniways... Next. My vision. Oh my dear vision. To be a well known female rapper. Beeeen hiding behind the scenes, you'd never know what I'm up to, whether I'm working, I'm playing, I'm being boring, I'm having a blast... or even having a child, chile (lmao). But one thing's for sure, I am still alive. Okay. And I'm just about to be more alive, and you'll even feel more alive... when my ass starts dropping things. Yasss honeyy, dropping my name, dropping that ass, dropping these beats, dropping this sass. Oh shit, here's the real her. Yes, hi. I been working, and I been playing, now let's get to showinnngg.😁 Lol, okay but on the real. A month ago, I really did not know how to execute my vision. In some parts I still don't really, like the cover for my debut EP (photography-wise), who to really contact for first edition EP-listening, and how much it would completely cost to distribute this whole idea/vision (which I'm actually going to have to start becoming my own professional accountant). But in some parts I now do, including important parts like GETTING THE MIC (😪😁 finally! and guess when it came? March 16th. always a special day for me this one), knowing how to produce my own beats here and there (finally 😁), and how exactly to market to a large number of people (😆more views and stuff), then perhaps less important stuff like the outfit I will wear for my very first performance lmao, and posting my stuff on instagram and tiktok (unexpectedly actually), and actually understanding and lowkey connecting with underrated rappers/singers. It's a pretty dope world to see tbh. Overrall... Babbyy, I see you the see the vision now. It's an exciting time to be in. (Side-note: Lmao I highkey lowkey think the moon being in Gemini just impacted me now. cause suddenly I'm on some other mood within writing this post. lmao shit changed quite drastically than when I began writing). Anyways, next. Last but not least... Taking advantage of these platforms, in conjunction with what exactly I will be doing this year. So, a month ago, I had almost forgotten about my astrology blog. Well, let me actually put it this way... I started to kinda cringe at the thought of my blog because it had been a while since I'd posted, so I wasn't too keen on going on to tumblr again. All the notifs, inboxes and deep cringe from noticing how it's been almost 5 months since I last posted something. Likkke... girl, is you serious or not? Lol, but then... an idea got blessed in my head on the 4th of March (a beautiful idea that will start commencing very soon)... How about I start a small business? :? Selling..... Merch. Based on astrology.😁 It is one heck of a win-win situation for me and the people getting interested in astrology now. But of course... I need an audience to sell to. So, (to the Heavens I thank for the day I randomly posted some astrology thing here on tumblr and it actually blew up and I did not even expect that), now I have some people to at least engage and connect with for this business. And I thank the Heavens even more that my idea somehow got transferred into my mom's head and she popped up a question of "Don't you wanna start selling stuff?" or something like that. And hell to yes, I grabbed that opportunity like no other! (but fr, I was shocked first. like what? you read my mind or sumn?) Lol, and so... Mi lady and I talked business and how she'd invested a K for me to check if I'd really be able to handle it. (Oh and perhaps I might add, my dad also did 'invest' a K for me in terms of my music... cause I was able to buy a mic with the money he gave me. Yes, yes, a whole K went into a mic). So I can only genuinely thank God for the people in my life, and how this path is going for me right now. Like, wow. But yeah. Technically, I haven't received the K from Mi lady yet, but that is good because I'd like to get in touch (and get bigger) with my tumblr astro fam again. Then in a couple of weeks, we officially commence. Just in time for me having a driver's licence. So, things can be easier for me pushing my business. :') Lord God, You are great. The greatest. Otherwise... yeah, then other stuff ke like really building my niche on instagram (posting pics and stuff), starting a music/astrology channel on YouTube (which I released my first video today 😁), and already officiated handles on twitter and insta. I'm not too sure if I care about facebook tbh. but yeah, then all that's left is the website itself and a professional email address. then, digitally, we up!

So yeah man... wooh, what a month passing by. never would've thought of all of these things happening. but I can only thank Lord God because it's none other than His doing that's helping me with all of this. Like I actually cannot explain how grateful I am for how kind and amazing He has been to me. and the fact that I'm able to see and understand why these things are happening. some making me really sad, but it's all just to introducing the next that will make me really happy. I am truly blessed man. wow.

God, I thank you. With all my heart and being. All my existence and soul. I thank you.

#strawberry mint series

[kitto-toberu-sa]

Sailor Moon Musical - Le Mouvement Final

So on the 23rd of October I went to Aichi to see the Sailor Moon musical~ Our bus arrived at 6am, so we spent the day chilling and checking out the Pokemon Centre and the poor selection of Digimon items at Kiddyland…

From Nagoya, it took an hour and a half by train to get to the venue, Ai Plaza Toyohoshi. We were cutting it really close (missed a train), but managed to power walk there in time. Thankfully goods were being sold in the break and after the show.

Unfortunately, the venue was dead.

The first floor is S tickets (8000 yen), the top floor is A tickets (6000 yen?). A third of the first floor was occupied, with a smattering of seats in the top part.

I feel so bad for all the cast and crew. It must have been really awkward to be singing to a bunch of empty seats. I’m not sure how much this was promoted, but having the venue so far out of the city really didn’t help things.

Personally, I had wanted to go to see the show in Osaka, but thanks to Aichi not being sold out, we ended up having really amazing seats ;; We were ninth row from the stage and I was on an aisle seat. It was seat 29, and I was going fight my friend for seat 30 (lucky number lol) but I’m glad I didn’t.

The show itself is explanatory. It’s the finale of the manga.

The start with Mamoru half proposing was wonderful. You could feel the audience’s hearts getting excited for Usa. It was obviously much more condensed than the manga, which I was thankful for. It gave us time to jump straight into things; however, the cute dance between Mamo and Usa at the start was really nice!

Chibi-usa was gone from the start, instead of leaving part way through. Ami is the one to notice something is wrong with Usagi, rather than Minako. Iron Mouse isn’t killed straight up either. She’s able to go back to Galaxia, say she’ll do better next time and gets a reprieve after having her butt handed to her. We get a rift in the four Galaxy Sailors here.

(Honestly, Seiren and Crow can step on me any day of the god damn week)

Chibi Chibi is insanely adorable. I am honestly not a fan of small children, don’t want kids and always ??? at people when they try to coo and tell me how cute their munchkin is. But damn. This kid was cute. It didn’t feel fake sweet or like she was out of place.

I also really enjoyed the scene where the girls are trying to figure out whats up with the Lights. Minako mentions they might be chicks. Setsuna has chibi faces of them on a white board. “….then they’d wear mini skirts if they were scouts…” A fight ensures as she tries to fuku them up, while Minako and Makoto are mortified haha

Usagi being forced to remember what happened to Mamo happened straight after Mercury and Jupiter dying, so it was very raw. I don’t think Venus’ loss really had as much of an impact. Rei’s did. For me, at least. Rei’s always been my number one girl, but her last thing she said was ‘sorry we couldn’t protect you’. I think it says a lot about her character, especially when most other people just said ‘Usagi’.

Usagi has a dream where everyone is alive and Mamo’s a chef and it’s all just very pure and sweet and then she wakes up and everyone’s still dead  The scene in front of the door was sufficiently eerie. I think Usagi’s wavering and ChibiChibi’s innocence helped this scene a lot as well.

At one point after the interval, Galaxia is singing. She walks down the aisle, right next to me. HO DAMN! Even with those stupid coloured lips she’s amazing! Her performance was one of the best, even when she was speaking, her expressions and pose said it all.

Kakyuu’s death was touching. As was the Lights. The problem with this arc is that everyone dies. Done in a weekly anime or manga, it’s probably more emotional, but losing 10+ characters in under three hours makes it a little less so. In saying that, I cried a couple of times lmao It was nice that there weren’t as many Senshi tho. This isn’t Oprah folks.

The scene where everyone is resurrected was great. The song was powerful, the girls looked bad ass. Wonderful. 100/10. Chibi Chibi talking to Chibi Moon was also really good. And of course, when she transformed as well. Everything about her is just stunning. Her outfit was perfect, she was perfect, 100% would cry over again.

I also really like how it discusses all the past enemies. They put up images of all the old enemies, up to Galaxia, on a sheet that came down in front of the stage. It gave it a warped feeling, and kinda made it more space like. Unlike the manga, the musical goes more into detail about who Cosmos is. Same about the whole siblings thing.

The wedding scene was really cute. I’m not sure if it happened in all versions, but Minako said she’d definitely get married next. Of course, Rei is the one that catches the bouquet ;;

Once everything is finished, The End comes up on the screen. They also do a montage of the previous musicals from this run. A lot of the audience was emotional. I only saw last year’s and this year’s live, but it’s super nostalgic. Afterwards, they did the usual performance stuff, mixed with songs from previous musicals as well. Yuuga was both Tuxedo Mask and King Endymion. She teases the audience so well I can't deal with her.

There was a point Yuuga came down the aisle. Yes, right next to me. We made eye contact. I squealed and leaned into my friend after she passed. The crowd was losing it. At one point a dude behind me asked his SO ‘…that’s a dude right?’ and the SO just scoffed ‘no’.

I’ve always understood Yuuga’s appeal, but it never clicked with me personally. But nine rows from her? I get it. Even my friend, who is a as straight as an arrow, went wow a few times. God bless Yuuga.

My heart’s still racing <3

It would have been nice to see the Crows in their true form. And get to see more of the girls going back to their own castles and stuff, but what can you do? Considering the time frame, they got through a heck of a lot of this arc, and there’s only so much they can do with budget constraints. Aichi certainly did not help in that. I’m honestly not sure why they didn’t make tickets cheaper and just give those that had pre booked an extra bonus or something (as it is we got cute post cards)

This musical had a really nice balance of comedy and seriousness. It felt quite real. The directorship was really good. Some of the songs were repeated from earlier musicals. Considering they were some of my faves, I’m not complaining.

The cast was excellent, as always. Thanks to the seats, I was able to see in so much more detail and was able to make lots of eye contact with the cast haha! Uranus completely stole my heart with her gaze <3

At one point I was signing up to buy the dvd. Unfortunately I didn’t ask if I could pay later (has happened other times I preorder these dvds). She didn’t confirm that with me either. So I filled out the form only to tell her I didn’t have the cash (how much money do they expect people to have on them?? Most people were spending at least 3000 on goods (many were spending more) so they expected you to have at least 20,000 ($200) on you for one musical? That’s ridiculous). She was honestly really fucking rude and basically snatched the form out of my hands and tossed it in the trash. The staff at Osaka were so much nicer.

The guys at the door were cool, and a lady was sitting in our seat. I didn’t want to cause a scene so we went to a staff member and asked to be guided to our seat (obviously he then mentioned the other chick was in the wrong seat). There was a surprising amount of foreigners, considering how few people were actually there ;; Someone I knew actually saw me but I didn’t see them haha ;;; The fans were really nice.

Except for that old fucker who felt asleep and started snoring before the interval. Fuck him. (There was a lot of old people there? Like I’m talking 55+?? Why)

Anyway, as we left, walking back to the station, a lady cut in front of us. It was one of the actresses! She had track pants with an off the shoulder white shirt, which I thought was a little odd, but then I saw she still had the shoes on. I’m still trying to figure out who she is. We didn’t approach her – she had headphones in, and kept glancing around to make sure people weren’t following her. That’s one reason why crowds are kicked out so quickly here – this is the third time I’ve seen cast leave. Depending on the area/fame, they’ll walk or taxi out of the venue, so the chance of them being spotted and harassed is pretty high. The faster the crowds are gone, the safer it is for them. In any case, I hope she enjoyed whatever she bought lol

I enjoyed it! If I lived closer I’d go see it again. I heard other people say the same. My friend was surprised by how professional it was. She really enjoyed it! I recommend seeing it if you can! If not, please support it officially where possible. Also, if you have any questions feel free to ask! This isn’t as in depth as normal, sorry ;;

#Sailor Moon #Sailor Moon Musical #Sailor Moon Le Mouvement Final #YUUUUUUGAAAAAAAAA

[multiple-nerdery]

even numbers?

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? It’s happened, but its rare.

4: Do you find it easy to trust others? Trust is a cryptic. 

8: Are you close with your dad? eh. Not less than many people, but he can be an annoyance.

10: What are you listening to? A coworker practice piano

12:Do you like hickeys? Take a look at my neck rn and ask that again (the answer is yes. y’all should see it it’s extensive)

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? Not sure if continuously, but like, there’s someone who often does.

16: Do you always answer your texts? no          

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? This morning if texting counts.

20:What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? This bed is big and empty.

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? Eh.

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? Erin, a little. Also I wish I talked to Danny more I want to hang out with him once before I leave forever.

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? It’s crimson. The decemberists.

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? Well someone has blocked me, but I’m not sure if it counts as ignoring if we hadn’t talked for a while anyway. Also another person kind of.

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? liSTEn. I honest to fkn god don’t know. I haven’t seen it happen too much

32: Are you mad at anyone? Nah                

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? 19? I’m pretty sure.  

36:Do you have any summer plans yet? Road Trip starting 2 June hang out w/me other friends while u still can!!!

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? I am keeping literally nothing from my best friend. Unless she wants to know random things about my past past that I haven’t thought of, or details that I haven’t brought up about things she already knows about.

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? Actually a little. It was a long enough while ago now to where I don’t have as much a problem with it.

42: Are you available? I... I don’t know? (y’all shoulda asked 43 b/c it would be funny).

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? Nose ring?

46:Do you regret anything? See #40    

48: Did you ever lose a best friend? Lose as in stop being friends? Yeah but it was for the best. Lose as in they died? no.

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? I don’t think I have romantic feelings for anyone. I’m trying to avoid thinking about romance seriously until I matriculate into College.

52:Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? ...yes? Is this even a question for me?          

54: Did you get any compliments today? Long time drum student expressed sadness that I was leaving soon, which made me cry a little.

56: Do you own anything from other countries? Yes.  

58: Where have you lived most of your life? Colorado

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? Not successfully. Like. We were going too but everyone was too tired and we just laid around instead.

62: Who do you text the most? Best friend if you count non-SMS texting, otherwise it’s my parents.

64:What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex? Like I’ve got one of those.

66:Is the last person you kissed younger than you? Yes. Almost all of the people I’ve kissed are younger than me.

68: Are you happy with where you live? It’s nice but i’m rEADY to lEAVE

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships? I’m fine with both in theory but I might be a little too jealous to actually have a poly relationship. But. Maybe? I’ve never tried it.

72:What do you most like about making out? Teeth. Pressure of someone’s lips against mine. Pressure of someone’s body against mine. Tongue. Warmth and passion. Breath. Teasing. TEASING. teeth. Really all of it. All of it is good. Oh and personal fav thing is making shitty puns and having th partner break down into laughter b/c it’s cute as hell.

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other? Usually, I would say, I start things. It can really go either way tho.

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed? Parents

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name? Nope. Not sure I could to be tbh honest.

80:Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? Not at the tender age of 18.

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? Not directly but it slips out. Plus I am not subtle.

84:Last time you slow danced with someone? In a romantic context it’s been like 3 or 4 years, but, like, I slowdance with best friends at school dances sometimes.

86: How can I win your heart? Fuck if I know it just happens an I’m all ‘oh shit’

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Sleeping, but barely.

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? I mean. I guess kinda but not really. It wasn’t NO communication.

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly? I don’t have the luxury of choosing. Few people find me attractive, so I take what I can get.

94: Name four things that you wish you had! Kaoss Pad, shit tonne of samples fr music, more musical talent, enough money to be financially secure.

96:Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day? Yes. Twice. Both because of the same person to be real here.

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr? Not really I don’t think. I’ve met people randomly, found out they had a tumblr and then became mutuals with them, though.

100:Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with? Yah there’s plenty. 

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out? The last time I did it, they got me high first, and then shot me down after so like... I mean I usually don’t imma be real here.But I can and have done it.

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? only if we’re kissing or obviously joking.

106: Do you flirt a lot? Does the Pope Shit in the Woods? (yes. That’s a yes)

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012? I’ve kissed 9 people, and I hadn’t kissed anyone in 2012 so... yes.

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be? I don’t know. Any cute person who wanted to I guess. I am not desperately wishing to kiss people who I cannot kiss right now so...

112: Does someone like you currently? I dunno. Do they?

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? I haven’t really done too many flings. So idk.

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship? I’m sad all the time, regardless. But fr it really depends on the person.

#Anonymous

[mocharoll]

A tag thing!

Tagged by @dishon-nerd !!! Thank you so much!!! <3 <3 <3 

LAST

1) Drink: Green tea!

2) Phone call: With my mom, about wot I'm getting for lunch! (might as well give detailed answers.!! Hahaha!)

3) Text message: To my mom again

4) Song listened to: CP Violation, if that counts! Having sosososo many Half Life feels these days smH!!

5) Time you cried: OoOh! A week ago when I saw Logan!

6) Dated somebody twice: Not really sure wot this means, but I've never dated anyone twice, if that's what it meanz!

7) Been cheated on: Nope, thank Gawd!

8) Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope!

9) Lost someone special: I lost my grandma when I was 13. Don't know if this counts because I wasn't there to experience it first hand, but my grandparents at my mom's side. Both of them, my granddad was an amazing surgeon and my grandma was pretty much a queen, were so so nice and special and they would have made such great grandparents. They passed away when my mom was 17 and I never got to meet them. Would have been the loveliest thing. I miss them every day! <3

10) Been depressed: I don't remember the last time I was, but it was a long time ago thankfully. Probably around 3 years ago when I started getting medication concerning my mental health- and when it was at it's worst. It wasn't a good time, basically! <3

11) Gotten drunk and puked: A year ago actually, though it was much more extreme than that. Haven't had that much alcohol ever since.

THREE FAVOURITE COLOURS

12) Reds!

13) Lilac / violet

14) Fuchsia

IN THE LAST YEAR YOU HAVE YOU

15) Made new friends: Definitely!

16) Fallen out of love: Thankfully! It was making me lose my sense of direction and it was more harmful than positive, so I gradually got over it. But again, was it /truly/ love? I don't think so anymore, but I didn't want to leave this empty!

17) Laughed until you cried: Happens once every week thankfully!

18) Found out someone was gossiping about you: Hhhh, I did! And it was in fact wrong information they were giving each other too, something they'd overheard and I reckon they had absolutely nothing to do so they began to talk about it when they saw me at the canteen, so I went up to them trying to be as polite as possible- and fixed that information, so that the assfarts could at least do it right! Really proud of that moment!

19) Met someone who changed your life: Ohh definitely!

20) Found out who your true friends are: Learned that a lowng time ago, but I was reminded!

21) Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Actually, yus! It was the first day in 2nd grade though  

HOW MANY/MUCH

22) Facebook friends: Around 100 I think!

23) Pets: A Lab called Chico!

24) Want to change your name: I'm really fond of it, honestly!

WHAT

25) Did I get for my birthday: A toy microscope, two dresses, an abstract t-shirt, a nice skull ring and skull earrings

26) Time I woke up: 6 am.! Hhhhhh!

27) Were you doing at midnight: Sleepz!

28) Can’t you wait for: whEN Half Life 3 comes one day......!!! Hahahah! Seriously though, when 21st of June finally passes! That's when all my university entrance exams will be over!!

29) Was the last time you saw your mom: A few secs ago!

30) Was something you wish you could change about your life: Definitely how I reacted to distressing situations 3 or 2 years ago- my mind was at a fragile state back then and I've reacted miserably. Wish I could have faced them as my current self. Oh well! <3

31) Are you listening to right now: Nothing, really! Sound of my dog's pants, maybe!? <3

32) Gets on your nerves: My answers are pretty much the same as Josi's, ngl! <3 I hate /especially/ animal cruelty, racists and haters of lgbtq and women rights in general, superficial, uncaring, shallow minded folk.. and assholes in general!

33) Talked to a person named Tom: Ohh! Well it's been at least 4 months since I texted a Tom! Hope he's doing alright! <3

34) Is your most visited website: Either Fallen London or youtube! But I've been on Pinterest a lot as well

35) Elementary school/primary school: A fairly liberal viewed private school with a considerable amount of snobs but really really great people in an even greater number. I love it ngl!

36) High School: Same as above! I'm still there- Iz my last year though!

37) College: To Be Announced.!! Hahahahah! <3

38) Hair colour: Dark brown!

39) Long/short hair: Long-ish right now, but I've always loved short/medium hair!

40) Crush: Always have one! Hhahaha!

41) Do you like about yourself: Hrm! Honestly I've never done something like this! Well, I like how I'm forgiving and able to be positive, passionate about wot I love and how I'm at peace with myself- I love how my heart is open and I love to give affection as much as I love getting it! I like how creative and intellectual I am and how I can fluctuate between super crazy goofy and serious thoughtful attitudes at the right momentz!  

42) Piercings: One on my right ear (cartilage)! Pretty sure it's closed now though

43) Blood type: B rH+ ! <3

44) Nickname: Zeyno (most of the time), Raine or Strong (internet fwiends), Queen (family only! Hahahaha!)

45) Relationship status: Lowng distance!

46) Zodiac: Leoooo!!

47) Pronouns: She/her

48) Favourite show: House

49) Tattoos: None for now!

50) Left or right handed: Leftie!

51) Surgery: None, thank Gawd!

52) Piercings: Ear cartilage, hurt a lot but it was kinda fun ngl!

53) Best friend: A gurl called Özge (since like 2nd grade!)

54) Sport: I do mostly swimming and cardio!

55) Vacation: Italy, Greece and Izmir are my favs!

56) Pair of shoes: My first high heeled black boots!

RIGHT NOW

57) Eating: Nothing

58) Drinking: Air!? Hahahahah!

59) I am about to: Rush to the theatre cause it'll start in like 30 mins hhhhhh!!

60) Listening to: Half Life 2 soundtracks

61) Waiting for: my darn nail polish to dry!

62) Want to see: how the city lights look like in the night!

63) Want to get married: Don't really care!

64) Career: At a gud university's research facility, at WHO (maybeeee!!) or working at labs and samples and wot not for a company as a biologist!  

65) Hugs/kisses: Kisses! Not much of a hugger!

66) Lips/eyes:Oooh! Hm! Eyes get me nervous sometimes, so lipz!

67) Taller/shorter: Really really don't mind! I'm like 170 cm- anything works!

68) Younger/older: Hrm! This one's kind of odd for me!- With gurls I don't have a preference, but with guys, I like an older guy!

69) Romantic/spontaneous: Romantic!

70) Nice arms/nice stomach: As long as the person is nice, I don't really care! I'm really fond of nice stomachs tho!

71) Sensitive/loud: “sensitive, but loud in the right situations” Exactly this!

72) Hookup/relationship: Relationships- I've never liked hookups

73) Troublemaker/hesitant: Hrm! I prefer a gud mix of the two!

HAVE YOU EVER

74) Kissed a stranger: Not yet.! Hahahah! <3

75) Drank hard liquor: Yus!

76) Lost glasses/contact lenses: Thank Gawd I didn't!

77) Turned someone down: Yus

78) Canoodling on a first date: Nope!

79) Broken someone’s heart: Mrm, once I think- because the feelings this one guy had for me wasn't mutual

80) Had your own heart broken: I think so- I'm lowng over it thankfully!

81) Been arrested: Nope!

82) Cried when someone died: A zillion times (be it fictional or real)

83) Fallen for a friend: I have! That's how that lowng distance relationship started!

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

84) Yourself: Yus!

85) Miracles: Yus!

86) Santa Claus: Not really in the fairytail-ish sense, but as a person in history, I think I do!

87) Kisses on a first date: Ehh, maybe! Depends on how I feel about it!

88) Angels: Ngl, I kınd of do!

89) Love at first sight: Maybe!

OTHER

90) Best friend’s name: Özge

91) Eye colour: Really dark brown!

92) Favourite movie: Don't have /one/ favourite! But I love V for Vendetta, Some Like It Hot, The Dark Knight, Theory of Everything, Logan, High Society, Gone With The Wind, HP Deathly Hallows part 1 especially, Philadelphia is definitely so up there, Fathers and Daughters, Don't Bother To Knock (amazing Marilyn performance!), Niagara, breakfast at Tiffany's, To Rome With Love, Blue Jasmine, Moonlight (hhh!!), La La Land, Spy Game (saved the best for the last!!!!!)    

I’m tagging: @theearlgrey @dishonored-pendletwin @galadrielkenobi  @imperatorsapphiosa @certified-llama-chauffeur @rubinsammler @bluedarue @stuck-in--the-void @cheesecake-for-dayz @panda-with-problems @zombieparadeimpulses  If you guyz want to do it!!!! <33333

#I love these sosososo much! #I love you guyz!

[raitrolling]

charon is my favorite, can we get some deets about him?

omg im glad but i also gotta question ur taste in taste in trolls cuz charon is legitimately the worse lmao

but anYWAY if ur just looking for simple facts, check out his toyhou.se profile, but otherwise cuz i didnt know what to write deets-wise i ended up getting carried away textwalling the entire history of charon’s character so enjoy?? i guess????

charon was my first troll who i made way back in late 2010, sometime after i caught up with the comic (which iirc was the make her pay flash). at first i was like ‘lol fantrolls are a dumb idea why would you make characters if alternia no longer exists in the comic’, but then i discovered the trollslum board on mspaf and the types of really creative trolls people had come up with and now 6 years later im still stuck in fantroll hell LMAO. but charon didnt rly have much of a concept back then apart from doing the thing im sure a good 70% of people making their first fantroll did and choosing the lime green colour thats supposed to be in between sollux and nepeta, as well as wanting him to be some creepy dude who loves blood and fighting because i was still in my edgy phase back then rifp

this pic here was the oldest one i could find of him, i lost a lot of my 2010 arts when my old external harddrive corrupted, and the oekaki i used to draw him on no longer exists so i cant grab anything from there either. i cry looking at the horrid anatomy omg

so then i started rping him on mspaf (which was the first time i rly rped, apart from randomly jumping into other peoples rps on other forums when i was 10 cuz i didnt know wtf it was but i wanted to be cool and write characters too lmao) and he just kinda developed from there i guess?? since he came from a friendless background he ended up getting really attached and protective of the friends and quads he ended up making, which ended up being taken up to 11 and turning into his obsessive tendencies he has now (though i ended up retconning all his past relationships because at the state hes at now, he would never be able to move on from losing so many people and id be stuck with Yet Another Ball Of Angst OC)

the story about his lusus has been changed a couple times too, originally kitedad was just some big angry bird who was attacked by another troll so charon was seeking revenge, but then retcons happened. somewhere down the line i was like ‘yknow charon’s p full on when it comes to trying to help his friends to the point where hed definitely try to hurt them so he could keep them safe, that mustve come from somewhere’ and now we have the awful abusive/codependent mess that exists today

i think a lot of his development came from the way i kept reinterpreting his behaviour too. ive mentioned on this blog a couple times That Weird Black Butler Cosplayer I Almost Dated Back In High School, who, while im sure he meant well, said and did some real creepy shit like turning up to my house unannounced as he found out where i lived cuz we took the same bus home and had memorised the route, as well as turning up uninvited to parties (dressed as fuckign sebastian. i wish i was joking. even my 2011 ultra weeb ass thought that was embarrassing) i was going to because there was gonna be alcohol there and he thought i needed ‘protection’, and also texting me this incredibly detailed dream he had of saving me from bullies and whatnot and that just made me go HOLD ON THIS BEING PROTECTIVE OF SOMEONE THING IS ACTUALLY REALLY WEIRD so i wanted to channel that kind of creepiness into charon. also his guilt trippy tendencies and making everyone’s problems about him is the same shit people have pulled on me before so lmao.

tho that being said, ive never really intended for charon to be 100% irredeemable?? he’s really only ever been intentionally malicious to those who have hurt him or his friends, so he’s more... incredibly misguided to the most extreme degree. he knows what behaviours get what he wants, but doesn’t understand that those behaviours are harmful to others, and he’s hopelessly loyal and protective, but these traits are coloured by the fact he’s got a poor sense of boundaries and doesn’t recognise when he’s going too far. he’s an interesting character for me to write, but finding that exact balance has always been difficult and i still dont know if ive got him pinned down properly yet. i always get happy when i post something related to him and i get messages from people who are just ‘holy shit charon’, it makes me feel like ive done a good job at capturing his character lmao

he kinda came full circle in a sense, from horrible edgy disgusting creep to somewhat of a nice guy with the occasional weirdness to legitimate disgusting creep who happens to also be a nice guy?? idk unlike a lot of my trolls who have gone through a lot of development charon is one of the few who still has a lot of his core concepts, just refined greatly

#charon acerbi #IM SORRY IF THIS WASNT THE TYPE OF DEETS U WERE LOOKING FOR I JUST really love talking about my characters like thiso mg #Anonymous #asks