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spookykoolkat · 8 months

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the red j.m. | chapter four

CHAPTER FOUR: NO GOOD

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pairings: older!joel miller x plus sized!younger!reader

chapter summary: you've been in jackson for a month now and things are still a little rough. you haven't found the right crowd to fit into yet, and thought maybe you might have to settle for the family of four you already know, until you meet your patrol partner, tyler. unfortunately, joel doesn't seem to like the idea of you with any other man but him.

warnings: 18+ age gap (joel is 57, reader is turning 26), inappropriate thoughts, sexual language, teasing, touching, slight jealous!joel, x-rated descriptions, crude language, perv!joel, creepy!joel, mean joel not too mean tho, MDNI!!!

wc: 6.2k

na: HI! thank you for alllll of the love oh my god my little gothic heart is so full i love you guys!!! i hope this series is everything and more to you guys bc i love this so much! hopefully as chapters go by, i get better in my writing and hope everyone enjoys it! i appreciate all of your kind words and interactions with me and making me feel welcome since i am new to writing on tumblr and kind of took a six year break from writing oneshots/fanfictions LOL. anyways please enjoy this chapter things are g3tting a little hot and heavy :P I CANT WAITT i hope that my writing is cathartic for my big girls we do not get enough representation for us in stories and writings!please enjoy! smut coming soon fr fr LMFAOO

i appreciate all reblogs, likes and comments feel free to do any one of those things or ALL! if u think its deserved :P

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DECEMBER 21ST, 2024

YOU

you’ve been in jackson for a month now. you couldn’t believe it, you truly had every doubt about staying even a week. but, it’s probably the calmest life you’ve lived in a very long time. you enjoyed it and you truly felt you’d made the right decision, it didn’t take much convincing either. but, you still haven’t unpacked the items maria gave you and continues to give you. just in case.

the neighbors are learning your name, as you are with them, and they actually care. as much as you let them. you felt quite bad because you found yourself still not clicking with anyone around you. and you’ve tried. the people your age find you boring, almost a dark cloud over them, bursting their bubbles. younger kids only approach you because of ellie, asking for advice on stance and grip. the older group, around tommy and joel’s age, finds you a bit much.

your language, your lack of social awareness–sometimes it gets embarrassing. saying something old heads wouldn’t necessarily like, being too blunt and a little explicit. joel figured you should hang around your age group, yet you didn’t really click in with the rest. he was far from embarrassed being around you, you just said the things he was thinking out loud.

you only found yourself clicking with joel. in many ways, as much as he let you. he was standoffish most of the time, barely cracking a smile at your weird habits and the noises you make when you’re passed out on the couch. he refused to let you break him, this wall that he had up to survive. do not get attached. he thought, maybe the less he knew you the less it’d hurt to have anything happen to you. but it seems even as little as he does know you, he’s still feeling that tug at his heart laying his eyes on you.

it was too late. whoops.

joel doesn’t want to address that feeling, and he doesn’t want to call it as it is. he actually cares about you. he had no choice but to call it that, because why else would he lie to you about finding cassettes in the house?— so that you didn’t know what he really did to get you whatever he could get his hands on.

he didn’t want you to know that he actually smuggled in goods that he and his family needed, and while bribing, stealing, trading and selling for necessities, he made it a mission to find at least one cassette tape for you. he didn’t know you actually saw him red handed, and you still didn’t know where those boxes were coming from. he figured if you knew, you’d bring it up.

he made it his mission for two whole weeks, after your first week of staying with him, and finally got his hands on some actual music for you. joel hadn’t made efforts like this in a long time, and he knew that denying the fact that he at least cared for you would mean he was being delusional.

but he was always worried about you. you were his object of affection and he craved to find a way to get you out of his mind. he actually felt guilty for thinking about you in ways you’ve probably never been before, he felt guilty for wanting nothing but to make you feel good—however that was.

you doubted it strongly of course, shaking the feeling off as your own delusion and insanity, but you always hoped. hoped that maybe his generosity and southern hospitality was actually him caring about you in a different way, but he was a grown man. you tried to off yourself in front of him–you were insane to think he’d even look at you as anything but a liability, he hardly looked your way as it was.

at least you thought so.

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joel paid attention to every single thing he sees and hears. he doesn’t show it, he doesn’t acknowledge it—all he does is observe. some more than others.

you didn’t talk to him unless he talked to you, you kept your distance like he wanted, but somehow he knew everything that was going on. he didn’t have to talk to you to know you, and that’s what he was ashamed of. he watched you.

he was a creep, he felt like someone who was abnormal and making things weirder than they had to be. he was studying you and you didn’t even know. he picked up on what made you smile, which cassettes you listened to the most, which just so happened to be the ones he was ‘holding on to.’ and in the midst of observing you, he checked you out any time he got.

when you weren’t looking mostly, but even sometimes when you were talking to him about something not so important. he realized that if you did see that his eyes wandered over you, you were probably gaslighting yourself into thinking he wasn’t doing exactly what you thought he was doing. he loved your body. and he loved the way you dressed your body, the way the shirts you wore always clung to your heavy breasts, how even when you dressed in baggy clothes he still wanted to ruin you like that.

sick. you’re a sick old pervert, ya kno’ that? he knew. what joel didn’t know is why you made him feel this way, why you drove him to do the things that he does for you. why he acted feral every time you bent over, why he would storm out of the room when you got on your hands and knees to pick something you dropped up off the floor.

but he also studied you because he wanted to make sure you weren’t feeling how you felt the night you woke up in jackson, to make sure you weren’t feeling depressed or like you didn’t want to be here anymore. just talk to her fucker. he couldn’t. he would never admit it, but he’s eavesdropped near ellie’s garage to hear conversations between the two girls.

“ellie, i mean it, you cannot tell joel.” you hushed as you glanced towards the door, back to ellie.

she scoffed. “like i’d tell him, lay it on me.” you noticed the irritation in her eyes when you brought up joel, asking yourself if maybe there was something that wasn’t being said. you just put a pin in it.

“okay. one, i’m finally allowed a gun and i got my patrol route.” you cheered in a hush and joel almost pressed his ear into the door.

ellie rolled her eyes, grabbing the piece of paper. “no fucking fair. good looks, telling me bad news first. what’s two?” she joked.

“i met my patrol partner. his name’s uh, tyler? i think. yeah,” you looked down and nodded, assuring yourself. joel made it a note to tell ellie how thin her walls were, not right now though.

“tyler… tyler m?” joel thought of every man in this town named tyler with the letter M as his last name. instantly made a mental list of five tylers.

“i don’t know. but he asked me for a drink. tonight, he was gonna meet me here but i told him i’d meet him there. lesson number 5, always have a way to leave anywhere you are if you need to.” you said. you figured it’d be best to teach her as much as you could, telling her things she needed to hear to survive.

that’s how joel knew immediately what was happening when he heard your soft singing from your cracked door. you were getting ready for him. he actually hated it. he couldn’t remember the last time he felt that heat in his chest, biting the tongue—it wasn’t until his face turned down into the old familiar feeling, what he recognized as jealousy.

who was he to be jealous? for what? it was a saturday night, most people were off of work, and everyone was settling in the town’s circle to drink and watch movies. everyone but joel. he was now classified as a bitter old man, with a dark whiskey in his glass. maybe now a bitter, creepy old man as he knocks slightly on the cracked door and you invite him in.

you were fixing the laces on your shoes, simple black converse, and his eyes made his way up from there to your face. a deep v neck shirt that looked like a second skin from how tight it was, and faded black jeans with tiny holes from being lived in that hugged the fat of your thighs. he never noticed the gold dainty necklace that sat in the middle of your chest, but it sits right between the curves of your breasts. were they always that big? he felt like a kid, ogling and asking stupid questions.

“hellooo? joel?” you called to him as you rested your palms on the width of your thighs. he saw your lips, coated in a sheen and your hair split down the middle instead of being in a pony tail or bun. creepy old man. you’re being creepy joel!!! he shook his head.

“headin’ to the circle?” he asked. if he were close enough you could smell the whiskey on his breath.

“yeah i-,” you thought for a minute. joel didn’t trust the next person as much as you did. you saw his protectiveness through ellie, you felt maybe he’d feel the same for you. even if you were a bit delusional.

“-was gonna catch a movie with ellie, most likely be back around 12.” you said as you glanced at the clock, 9:32.

“‘s that right?” he said suggestively, like he knew something you didn’t. he did.

“yeah. that’s right,” you stood firm, even shot him a dirty look. “why don’t you enjoy the night, joel. you got the house to yourself, ain’t that what you’ve been mopin’ around for?” you stood up and grabbed your gun to put in your waistband behind your shirt, sticking a knife in your high top converse and one in your jean pocket.

maybe you got too defensive, but you were right in a way. he looked miserable around the house, storming in just to grab a beer and lock himself in the library or room.

“that’s right,” he was just smug. so smug you couldn’t stand it, you wanted to slap him.

“whatever joel,” you wanted to be right so bad. you wanted to prove to even yourself that you were right. but neither of you were buying into this act you played, and you knew it. he was making you nervous with his stare, the hard shell you had was practically ripped off of you when he grabbed your wrist before you left the room. he held you, shoulder to shoulder and looked at your face, down your neck and to your chest.

“if you need anythin’, you let me know darlin’.” darlin’? it was so foreign to you, so alien that you didn’t even have time to process it before your mouth moved to say a small alright and taking your arm from his grip. when you did, it was cold and you could feel the print of his hand around your wrist down the stairs.

it was so different, something that leaked off of his words when he spoke to you. and you wanted to hear more of it, explore that with him.

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before you could psych yourself out of going through the bar’s doors, you heard someone call for your name and turned your head to the left to see tyler, walking towards you with a big grin on his face. tyler was just two years older than you, someone you met while you were in combat and patrol classes, and didn’t acknowledge until he approached you, re-introducing himself as your partner for the first two weeks. you couldn’t be cold and shoo him away, you just smiled and introduced yourself, really looking at him.

he was not joel miller. tyler’s skin wasn’t as tan as joel’s but he wasn’t pale, and he was actually a bit lanky even under the thick coats he layered. you noticed that his chest wasn’t as broad and strong as joel’s, hell his arms were smaller than yours. he was a skinny tall thing, while you were a bit short and thick everywhere. and when he embraced you lightly at the entrance of the bar, you just felt cold. no warmth, no comfort, you felt like you’d break him.

“hey, i was hoping you’d actually come.” he breathed in as he pulled away, still, it wasn’t feeling right.

“why wouldn’t i?”

“cause you’re out of my league,” he said with a seductive smile and you wanted to believe him. wanted to enjoy the night as it comes and maybe have a few drinks, talk. but your mind was on a bitter man who sat in a house all by his lonesome.

the thing about ‘dates’ now is that small talk doesn’t happen anymore. what’s your mom like? she’s dead actually. really? mine too! it was pointless. if you ended up here, you knew that you were alone.

it wasn’t long before you and tyler were sitting on two stools, side by side. your knees were in between his as the two of you talked, flirted, gave simple touches. you were having fun. doing what would seem normal at a bar, just enjoying the company of someone who actually liked you.

“how come you’ve never hung out with anyone else? i never see you with anyone.” he said, his fingers tapping on your knee.

“mmm, i’m just not for everyone.” you flirted, covering his fingers with yours. you knew this wasn’t going anywhere, but you’d like to live in it just a little longer. the touch of a man, someone who desired you even if it wasn’t how you wanted. something you started to crave from joel.

“maybe you’re just for me then?” he suggested, and you decided to just play into it. it was kind of hard not to when you were thinking of joel, you needed to act out on it.

“i doubt that, honey,” you said, tugging at the collar of his shirt. he smelled like tequila and grass, something not that appealing but you ignore it. you wanted something out of him tonight, because for some reason the words joel spoke to you kept ringing in your ears. if you need anything, you let me know darlin’. the words rumbled through your body and straight to your core, because if there’s anything you need he could definitely be of help.

you didn’t know how long you stayed at this bar, teasing and touching each other until you felt the ache in your core, aching for a touch that you’ve had once before. but you didn’t give a shit about purity or virginity, you wanted the ache gone and you knew tyler was the best bet.

“tyler,” you whispered in his ear as the bar started to empty.

“yes, beautiful?” he answered and slid his hand up your thigh.

“show me how good you are with your fingers, yeah?”

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he followed you back to joel’s, hand in hand as you turned the key to the house and softly opened the door to prevent the creaking. granted, you didn’t think this through, like everything else. maybe you should’ve gone to his. you cringed a bit, walking inside.

it was dark inside, nothing but the sizzle of a freshly put out fire. you put your fingers to your lips to shush him, taking him slowly upstairs and to your room. you couldn’t help but find yourself glancing at joel’s door, which is cracked open.

you finally made it to your room with the lanky man groping your body and trying to slither you out of your jeans, letting him.

“only want your fingers, okay? if not you can leave.” you established as you stood in your panties and tight shirt.

“fuck, yeah that’s okay,” tyler himself was craving a woman’s touch, he didn’t even care if he got off. he just wanted to see you, a woman’s body, to feel you.

“can i touch you? like anywhere?” he asked as he sat on the edge of your bed, his cock already hardened against his pants. it didn’t sound right coming from him. you wondered what it’d sound like with the texas twang you craved to hear from a certain man.

it still made your core twinge a bit, remembering the last time you were this vulnerable. you couldn’t lie, even if it wasn’t what you wanted, you fell in to the odd touch of the man desperately trying to touch you.

“anywhere. keep your dick in your pants, i’ll touch as i go if you want me to.” you moved over to him and crawled into your bed, and he slipped in next to you as he propped himself on his elbow to look at you.

“you’re so pretty, really.” he said, genuinely and you smiled. your stomach even fluttered a bit. it’s been a long time hearing that, hearing desire.

“touch me, please.”

tyler took his time, a little more than you’d liked but he was busy distracted with the way your tits pushed up to your chin, like you were suffocating. touching and teasing, his touch felt good but it still didn’t feel right, it didn’t feel heartstopping. maybe you’re expecting too much.

but he didn’t talk to you when he dipped his hand in your panties, you just heard his whimpers and panting as he rutted his hard on into the side of your fat thigh, barely focused on you. you weren’t feeling it anymore, your wetness wasn’t even directed towards him really. everything you did with him was what you wanted to do with joel. you weren’t interested anymore and it started to feel wrong, it never felt good because tyler wasn’t worried about you. just his nut, and you didn’t like that. you didn’t like to feel used.

“okay, wait, wait—i said wait!” you said and grabbed his wrist, pulling it from your panties and moving off of the bed.

“wait, fuck i’m sorry, i was just so, fuck i’m so sorry.” he said a bit loudly, and you swore you heard a creak in the hallway as you moved to the door.

“it’s okay, i just, i’m not–i’m tired. i think you should go.” you said, hugging your arm as he adjusted himself in his pants and got up.

“i’m sorry, i,-” he tried again and you waved him off.

“it’s done and forgotten, you didn’t do anything you were just really into it. i wasn’t.” you were careful with your words, not as tough as you would be because you’re vulnerable. but he wouldn’t get far if he hurt you, you knew that.

“i’m sorry, goodnight. can we kind of like, forget this?” he asked rubbing the back of his neck and you softly laughed.

“forget what?” you smiled and he returned it, giving a small kiss on the cheek before he left. he was a nice man, a good kid, and he meant no harm. he didn’t need a ruthless beating or yelling, just needed to tell him it wasn’t meant to be. you couldn’t shake the feeling of how wrong it was, how wrong it felt being tyler touching you.

you knew who you wanted to touch you. as sweet and kind and charming tyler was, he wasn’t what you wanted. the man you wanted was across the hall from you, on the other side of the stairs. sleeping, maybe.

you knew ellie was at a friends house doing only god knows what, so with the hope in mind that joel was asleep in his room, you trotted downstairs braless, and bottomless. you were still in the same tight shirt you left in, but now just in the pink panties that were apart of the gifts maria got you. just new/traded clothing you needed. the shirt hugged you and cut off at the dip of your curve, the fat of your tummy slightly protruding between the shirt and your panties.

you didn’t look towards the fireplace where the sofas were, instead you grab a small cup and let faucet water pour into it, taking a drink.

“work up a sweat?” a deep southern voice said behind you, from a distance. you jumped at the sudden break of silence and turned quickly to the sofas.

“joel? what the fuck,” you breathed and stepped out to walk to the sofas. somehow, you completely disregarded the fact that all you had on was a shirt and panties, standing in joel miller’s living room.

“what made you think it was a bright idea to invite a bastard in my home like that? not only that,” he said. you finally saw the light from outside shining on his face as he stood up, something glimmering in his hand. a gun. “but letting him touch all over you? that prick?”

you had a lot to say, a lot to yell out. but the only thing to say was a snarky comment. “you know he called you the same thing.”

which, he did. but you were too drunk on the flirting and drinks to care or to know why, even though you already knew. joel wasn’t nice to anyone but ellie. tommy and maria even think he’s an asshole, but that’s tommy’s brother and maria’s brother in law. he’s family. but there were things that you didn’t know about joel miller. things he didn’t want you to know either.

“why do you even care? who’s touching me, i mean.” you scoff, feeling less embarrassed about your state of clothing. but being a lot more aware as he steps closer and closer to your curvy figure, putting his gun in the waistband of his sweatpants.

he was intimidating like this. towering over you with his fists clenched, searching your face for something. you felt your heartbeat pick up as his eyes raked over you and fell on your lips. he was drunk off of you, the sight of your fat cunt only being clothed by a single piece of fabric drove him to dig his nails in his palms. the nakedness of your thighs, and the midriff showing—it was going to kill him.

“if you’re gonna fuck these town folk, make sure it ain’t in my house.” he spit, and you just rolled your eyes. you felt like you were in trouble for sneaking out, like a teenager.

“i didn’t fuck anyone. we didn’t do anything. he wanted to, i didn’t.” you defended, feeling small now but still holding yourself tall.

joel just looked at you, not wondering if you were lying or not. he knew you weren’t, he heard it himself the minute he heard something bang against your wall. it was just you shuffling to get up, and he heard you consoling him. you weren’t satisfied.

“why’d you lie to me? bout’ seein’ him tonight?” he asked, your head tilted up to his as he steps one step closer. your chest is almost touch his, and your breathing was getting heavier.

“figured you wouldn’t trust him,” you said, sounding like you wanted to say something else but keeping it to yourself.

he was watching you like you were his prey. like you were something he wanted to take and devour for himself, like you were something for his eyes only.

“smart girl,”

“he touch you wrong?” he couldn’t help but ask, the curiosity killing him slowly as time passes with you standing in front of him with your tight pink panties on. he looked down between the two of you and saw the hardened pebbles that were your nipples showing up through your black tight shirt, down to your tummy that was pressed against his. he liked the softness of your belly, he was practically dying to grip it himself. he wanted to grip every part of you, to palm your pussy and feel how warm you were in his grip. he even found himself hating his own mind as thought of what your pussy would look like sucking him in.

“i, he,” you were stuttering, embarrassing yourself as his hand trailed up your arm, thinking of all the ways he could watch you take his cock for him.

you watched him watch you. how his eyes went dark again, how there was a slight touch of possessiveness in his voice. you didn’t assume though.

“can’t find the words, hm? he wasn’t makin’ you feel good?” he asked softly, watching as you closed your eyes and breathed through your mouth, opening again to see a small grin playing on his lips, his head tilted to the side. his fingers barely left your wrist, and made their way to your fleshy hip, tapping against the bare skin. he was enjoying this. making you squirm. making you nervous.

“fuck off, joel,” you meant it to come out a lot stronger than it did, even you thought you sounded needy. “s’ none of your damn business,” you spit, stronger this time.

and before you could even wallow in your retorts, a smile tugged very faintly at his lips. you weren’t so convincing when you were practically trying to pull him to your body with your fists buried in his sweater. he appreciated the effort though, he's never met someone with as much bite in their bark as you.

he just liked to watch you writhe for him. you wanted to whine with how eager you were for him, how mean he was being to you for no reason. you needed him.

“it’s like you’re not even tryin’, what’s the matter? do i make you nervous sweetheart?” he gleamed in his power over you, the way your eyes searched for him and your mouth parted, just for him. he wanted to ruin you in every way. ruin every man for you, show you how to truly be taken care of.

"go fuck yourself," you retorted and he actually laughed. and he laughed at you. a sudden heat rushed to your cheeks, embarrassment filling you.

“i didn’t tell you but,” he paused as he leaned into your ear, grazing his cheek against yours and smiling to himself, “you looked real pretty today, ya know that? you look even prettier like this, all flustered for me.”

you had to be dreaming. had to have gone to sleep after tyler left, and this was your wet dream making up for it. there was no way you were this exposed to joel and he was practically pressed up against your body as he told you how pretty you looked. you couldn’t speak, your tongue was tied and joel smiled to himself as he realized he got you to shut up.

“would ya let me touch you, sweet girl? maybe you'd be nicer if someone knew how to touch you,” he asked, his fingers playing on your hip.

you still couldn’t answer. it felt like a trap, like if you let yourself give in to his words, every guard you put up was pointless. you were frozen, and suddenly felt insanely vulnerable but his voice was so inviting, so impossible to not fall into.

“touch me where?” you asked, treading lightly. you wanted to hear it, you wanted him to tell you he wanted you as bad as you wanted him. you wanted to prove to yourself that you hadn't lost your mind yet. but you also wanted to stretch whatever this was as long as possible before you find yourself on your knees for him without even asking.

joel felt like he was out of his body. like he was watching you squirm and move under his presence from above. he was so distracted by how hard your nipples were rubbing against him that he didn’t even notice your fists balled into his shirt, trying to take him in closer. maybe it was the alcohol he drank to ignore the jealousy he felt, or maybe it was the fact that tommy came to tell joel about the boy you were seeing. how the two of you were practically on top of each other before he left, how he was touching you in public–he was angry.

nothing was done, nothing more than joel grabbing your almost bare hip and you tugging on his shirt, but it still felt like something that was crossing a line. a line you wanted to cross.

until he got the courage to grab the hand that was buried in his sweater, taking it in his own and touching you with your hand. he was answering your question. his hand ghosted on top of yours as his eyes watched your eyes train on the sight between the two of the bodies, enjoying how soft and pink you look. you were hot and bothered, and he could get used to seeing you like this.

“first place i’d touch you, baby,” he breathes, his lips practically against your cheek now. he was breathing you in, drinking you in, “is right here,”

his hand guided you to cup your mound, angry that it wasn’t his hand touching you. your breath was shaky while you watched him, your eyes flickering from his moving hand to his eyes, and every time he made sure your eyes latched onto his. he wanted you to know how much he was enjoying teasing you like this, he wanted you to remember the way he looked at you while you panted against him.

“but like this, lemme show you ‘xactly how i’d touch you sweetheart,” he was lost, drunken only on you, ignoring the world around him. “don’t think that boy would be enough for a woman like you, ain’t that right?"

he took his own hand as you were still pressed against his front, his lips now teasing the skin of the crook of your neck and starting to pull your panties away from your skin to dip his hand inside. your breathing was uneven and your soft whimpers were getting louder the more he trailed down into your underwear, and he was loving them.

the second he felt the scruff of your unshaved mound, he heard you release a shaky, sexy breath, and he grew harder against your bare abdomen. even feeling the heat of your skin on his clothed cock made him want to get on his knees and worship you.

"needy little fuckin' thing, that desperate for me huh? you gonna let me feel this pretty pussy how i want?"

he was so fucking filthy. so filthy for someone who hasn't even seen you naked, so filthy for someone who didn't even talk to you before this. it was agonizing, you were melting into his harsh words and wanted to listen to him make you feel small like this all night.

"joel, i swear," you warned as his breath hit your lips with his eyes on yours.

you had a bush, he thought to himself. he really didn’t think that would turn him on of course, but now he pictured you standing in front of him, bottomless. how your belly would look with your curves, the way your breasts would rest at their natural position, your thighs fat and wide all for him, and the pretty fat mound waiting for him to feel and taste. worst time to think all of that of course, because it sent a flood of blood and excitement to his groin, giving him another thing to be nervous about. but god did he want to see it, see all of you laid in his bed, and tugging on the thatch of hair on your mound. he was fucked.

and god forbid you figured out that he’s been picturing you bent and folded in every way just so he could reach to the back of your cervix, if you figured out that his anger towards you is pent up sexual frustration because every time you’re in the shower, he’s thinking of the way you looked lathered in soap, waiting for him to join you. he was a sick man to think of you like this, but all of his desires and fantasies were threatening to barge in, to unleash all of his wants and needs to you.

he was fighting himself to be a respectable man, a man who doesn’t think of women who were young enough to be his own kid in ways that were sinful. he shouldn’t be wanting to fill your throat with his cock when you smart mouth him. he was losing whoever he thought was himself, and letting heart and cock do his thinking.

you couldn't think right, nothing was processing as you felt the heat of his hand on your cunt. you felt another wave of pleasure hit you and suddenly, you could feel your wetness pooling for him in your panties. you had a hard time wrapping your head around the fact that joel actually wanted you too, even if he wanted to put you in your place for once and shut you up.

you didn't care how he wanted you. you were a bitch, but you were desperate for him.

"mmm, you're real scary, baby, threats ain't gettin' you anywhere. you have t' beg me for my fingers," he teased, rubbing the hair on your mound.

"oh fuck off, i'm not begging you for shit," you're putting up a fight with yourself, and you were winning. at leadt you thought so. even if you were letting him touch you this way, you weren't goping to beg him or give him the pleasure of watching you submit to him.

"yeah? maybe i'll jus' make ya," he grinned, his sinister smile forming while he rested his forehead on yours, his hand inside your panties as the two of you watched him tease your lips.

the second joel’s finger moves from your hairy mound to the fat lips of your cunt to spread and feel just how much you ached for him, to tease your hole so you'd be sent into a fit of desperation, the two of you heard the doorknob jiggle and a loud laugh from the outside, meaning it was ellie. joel pulled his hand and body away quickly and nodded upstairs with a hard look, giving you the hint to go before ellie saw you in your panties.

your face expressed everything to him, you needed him. and you didn’t want to let go. he watched as you walked up the stairs, your ass practically eating up the fabric of your panties. it left nothing to the imagination and he groaned, something you swore you heard, before he fixed himself in his pants.

ellie walked in, and you stayed at the top of the stairs out of sight to hear the lecturing.

“are you outta your damn mind, ellie? it’s three in the mornin’,” his paternal instincts were coming out, and you smiled.

“i was down the street. relax, i just didn’t want to stay there.” ellie defended as she slipped her shoes off.

“did somethin’ happen? are you hurt?” he asked quickly, examining ellie to see if he saw blood or cuts anywhere.

“jeez, no joel lay off. why are you up anyways isn’t it like six hours past your bedtime?” she scoffed, annoyed at the father figure lecturing her right now. what was he gonna tell her?

“was waitin for your friend to come home, so i can lock up before bed,” he lied. he was lying and you knew it. you came home an hour ago, and he was still up.

“you’re in love aren’t ya? old man,” ellie teased. her demeanor was a little more playful than she’d been this last month and he shook his head annoyed, but to you it was silent. your lips pinched into a thin line as you heard joel grunt.

“go to be ellie. now.” he ordered and she rolled her eyes, saying her good nights and going to the garage to sleep in her space.

a part of you wanted joel to come upstairs, into your room and to do everything he wanted to do. you didn’t know exactly what he wanted to do, but with the touching and flirting he was doing, it seemed like he wanted you. maybe he was drunk, you could smell it on his breath! he seemed pretty sober talking to ellie. you cursed yourself as you moved quietly to your room, leaving the door cracked open just in case.

but nothing. you heard him trudge up the stairs, and walk directly the opposite direction into his own room. you were frustrated at this point. sexually frustrated if you must say, and the ache in your core was not leaving any time soon.

you felt embarrassed, and you felt like joel was toying with you. all of the sudden this comes up and he's trying to finger fuck you in the living room when you genuinely thought he didn't even acknowledge your mere existence. it was so confusing for you, but the only thing you knew for sure now after a few weeks of deciding is that you craved joel miller.

it was a weird feeling. only because growing up in an apocalyptic world as a teenager and a young adult meant your chances of love and relationships were slim to none, at least for you. but you met joel in times where you had given up already.

as you lied in bed, wondering if joel was asleep or thinking about you too, you felt silly. you were setting yourself up for disaster by having hope that whatever this was with joel was more than that, and not just that. you worried you were getting ahead of yourself, maybe you were taking joel's advances too seriously. what if he just wants an easy fuck? nothing serious, something for pleasure in this dark world where everyone seeks a way to alleviate their pain

you felt like maybe you were geting into your head like you always do. maybe this could be good. maybe this could be your chance to let go, be vulnreable again, let someone make you feel like a teenager again. you had your fair share of crushes when you were in the QZ, you remembered that innocent feeling of liking someone, the shyness that came with it, how nervous you got around them. and with joel, you felt that times one hundred.

the flutters in your stomach, the goosebumps on your skin when he stands too close to you. he made you feel good even without trying.

but nothing good comes from joel miller.

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campbyler · 2 months

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THEA!!!

they r so boyfriends! 😭😭😭😭😭😭 it should be illegal to read acswy while being single CAUSE I WANT TO BITE SOMEBODY SO BAD. so im gonna bite u guys. as a revenge for my poor heart. sorry.

first of all will with tote bag!!! mike with long sleeves and shorts!!! yes!! their fits r literally so perfect. i just have to say it.

the fact that will didn’t even bring his car key with him. he doesn’t hate mustang as much as he pretends 😭 and he definitely changed his mind after mikes explanation. can’t wait till will break his stupid rule and they’ll make out senselessly in it.

i got mikes reasoning for buying that car (and ted is an asshole in every universe. sorry that it happened to u thea) but he could choose less pretentious one 🙄 sorry i have a with aversion towards expensive cars. their drivers always think that they better than traffic regulations. anyway.

manual transmission is a crime against humanity and im glad that i never have to use it again. it wasn’t that bad on the road and changing gears doesn’t take much time but traffic lights became my arch enemies cause i always managed to stall on them 😭 i hope ur lessons were better btw. i feel that will will shake like chihuahua😭 plus it like one extra leg on the clutch and i have no idea how to not forget about it if u only drive automatic.

their not-date date cause they definitely aren’t dating they’re barely friends who love kiss each other on the mouth and hold hands and spend time together and tell each other their deepest secrets.

the things i felt when mike dropped wills hand in the car. i Know it was was a reason. and he totally recovered himself by holding wills pinky the entire way to the mall. i know their pinkies Hurt cause where’s no other way.

when they’ll find out that smooches at the center of the cafe is not really platonic. isn’t really platonic with kissing if we’re judging be their standards. The Kiss in the changing room though…. they literally obsessed with each other i can believe guys used to pretend they enemies 😭

someone brought up dwoht on relation to the thrift store and i can’t stop thinking about it

“u (authors) said there was nothing in the world that could stop it

i (i) had a bad feeling”

i loveeee noticing how their humor changed. will doesn’t want to hurt mike anymore he wants to laugh with him instead 💔 and he thinks mikes password is cute and loserish (it is) but he charmed by it omgggg!!!

im so glad that i spent this year with u guys (im finishing my comment in 2024!!!! happy new year!!!) and im excited to follow the story next year too. days if the updates became my favorite and brought me so much joy!!

thea, suni and andi thank u so much for ur talent and passion!! ily!! happy new year 🎉🎄🥳🎊🤶❄️

ALYAAAA i am SO sorry that i am the worst and it takes me forever to answer things but just know i have been holding this ask so close to my chest for the past million weeks bc it is so special to meeee 💗💗💗💗💗

i will accept the biting bc i am also biting someone. it is hard to WRITE it while being single wtf. every time i write a kiss scene i'm like gd who wants to kiss me..............i am here and kissless...........

that and also i think he was so eepy he didn't even Think abt bringing his keys but also lbr he knew mike was going to insist on driving lol. mike fr could have chosen a less pretentious car But i think mustangs are universally cool cars for sure and i think it's very important to mike to have a cool car so even tho it's not necessarily something he would have picked out himself i do also think that he loves it. a little bit. (<- a lot bit)

i've ended up not actually learning how to drive a manual bc me and my sister have both been busy so all of my knowledge for the next chapter is going to be thru research and osmosis so pls call me out if anything is incorrect 😭

sometimes you have to kiss your friends on the mouth!!!!! and go on a not-date date w them!!!!!!!!!! that is so totally normal!!!!!!!!!!!!! their pinkies definitely hurt so bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they are obsessed w each other fr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dwoht is not on the ch9.2 playlist but it is for suuuuure very will-coded for this stretch of the story if you even care.

we are so glad WEEE spent this year w YOUUU alya ty for supporting us and always leaving the sweetest most thoughtful comments 💗 i hope tht ch9.2 is everything you've ever dreamed of!!!!

#asks #ch09 #acswy spoilers

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astrologicalsstuff · 1 year

Text

Astrology observations

👿True whores of the zodiac 😈

(Promiscuity indicators)

Please note not all of these placements necessarily mean they are going to cheat on you but if the chart doesn’t have something to balance it out you might want to keep an eye out

Sagittarius - Gemini Venus: sagittarius venus can have a “just go for it mentality” Although this is not a clear indicator of cheating they can lose interest pretty fast. They see something and go for it just hope your the target😖 Gemini venus however will cheat on you and lie to your face. I’m not saying all of them are like this. But Gemini is the sign of the twins so it takes a lot of mental stimulus to keep both minds satisfied. these people are open to multiple perspectives and may not even see the harm in cheating. Consider polyamory.

Sagittarius venus won’t cheat they are firm believers in commitment, but if they aren’t feeling it they’ll move on pretty fast.

Both require a great degree of conversation for commitment.

Actually I like to say most mutable venus is tend to be pretty… fluid in their relationships. all mutable energy is kind of go with the flow mentality. So Pisces Venus (exalted) can be a bit of a hopper. Pisces a venus tends to be a romantic so they go wherever the love goes. Downside they can be so whimsical that they don’t deal with any of the hard stuff. Virgo Venus just one whoever is going to validate their idea of perfect. They can cheat with fully knowing.

💐Libra moon💐

Actually ANY air moon

Aquarius moon just doesn’t know how to devote to solely one person, I think they really do feel the need to sacrifice for the greater population so it’s hard for them to consider one person more special. I don’t think it’s so much about cheating as it’s hard to get them exclusive they can care too much about everyone.

Gemini moons couldn’t decide if they like you or not lol.

Their mind could always be somewhere else and should also consider polyamory.

💕💕Libra moon is such a romantic💕💕

Libra moon is such a romantic but needs a partner and balance to feel emotionally secure. Honestly I’ve seen this sign the most in cheaters. Being libra they have a hard time with confrontation so they may say things to make you feel better but they may not necessarily be true.

Aquarius suns male and female and everything in between. When they said the sign of society they meant for everyone.

They don’t usually actually cheat but check those dms I’m sure they’ve got a list…

Pisces and Virgo sun (males mostly)

Pisces suns don’t know they’re doing it Virgo suns do!!

Pisces suns are “nice to everyone” and a little too nice but wouldn’t ever cheat. At least not in their understanding of it. Virgo suns know how to run the game? May like watching u fall. They’re interested in analyzation so they analyze the best ways to make u fall. Unexpected rizz Fr.

Gemini sun. Hot and cold tbh. Their heart goes where the conversation goes. If you can keep their mind stimulated you can keep their heart stimulated.

So random but cancer mars in women!!!

I think they need a lot of emotional fulfillment that’s hard to get from a single partner. I don’t think they notice.

Aspects:

Hard Saturn aspects to Venus and mars (square inconjuncts)

Uranus square or opposite Venus or mars.

Mars square venus

Moon square venus (their values and feelings do not correspond. Needs different things for emotional satisfaction and their wants)

Houses:

Venus in 3rd, 5th, 9th, 11th house.

5th and 9th can be committed but need fun in their relationships

3rd and 11th probably just want multiple partners.

Uranus in the 7th and 5th.

Neptune in any of the angular houses (1,4,7&10) -not a strong indicator tho (more likely to get cheated on)

Uranus in the 8th may have some weird kinks not necessarily indicative of cheating but definitely promiscuity and adventurous.

Venus and Mars in the first. (Actions and values are self serving, may seek partners for ego fulfillment)

#astro observations #astrology #astro placements #astronomy #uranus aspects #venus #aquarius venus #love astrology #astrology moon

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the-type-a · 7 months

Note

Some random HCs?💕

Whenever Duncan gets released from Juvie/Breaks out, instead of going home he heads straight for Courtney’s house(even if it means he’s sitting on a bus for 5+ hours) Doesn’t matter if it’s day or night, he just crawls in her window and gets comfortable, she always gets startled to see him in her room or crawling in the window but it happens a lot to the point that she just lets it happen.

Duncan starts to need glasses after a couple years, maybe years of straining his eyes from sneaking around in the dark, carving small details in his wood projects, getting hit in the eye during fights & just genetics starts to affect him when he gets older. He doesn’t wear them all the time, only when he really needs to lol

Duncan might be an absolute menace to other people but when it comes to animals it’s canon that he’s the opposite, so if he sees a stray dog on the street, if he doesn’t take them in himself, he definitely gives them food, water & warmth before he makes his way again

Sorta attached to that last HC but it’s canon that he’s attacked wild animals (deers, alligators, raccoons, etc.) so I just wonder if he specifically just doesn’t like wild animals? If so, why? 😳 Maybe he’s been hunting before or has hunters in his family, which ultimately is something him, Bridgette & DJ definitely argue about.

So I still HC that Courtney tends to get lost in her thoughts and spaces out A LOT, but whenever she does and if Duncan catches her, he immediately takes a picture.. he has a whole folder in his phone with Courtney completely unaware of things happening around her, his favorites are the ones where she looks a little cock-eyed lmfao she fights him to delete them fr

Duncan is definitely a sassy boyfriend, in fact he was a sassy boyfriend before it was a thing fr

He indulges in some drugs but can’t handle psychedelics, first time he tried he had a bad trip & decided that it’s not for him, Courtney would prefer if he didn’t do anything at ALL.

So we all know that Duncney pets are not necessarily the traditional type of pet(shout out garbage gang) so I can definitely see them getting a Capybara. Like.. just that, cuz why not?

On the Island Raccoons come around the camp a lot, everyone’s confused as to why they’re around so much, except Courtney because she secretly feeds them marshmallows lol she won’t admit this this tho because it’s common knowledge not to feed the wildlife but they’re just lil’ babies fr✨

Whenever Duncan gets angry his accent comes out lol OOH or the older he gets it becomes more prominent lol

after one of the many breakups, Courtney does drunk karaoke and sings “I have nothing - whitney Houston” and she’s a little too loud and passionate about it… (I heard an ai version of cartman singing it and I DIED 💀)

Courtney is a NERD, idc and I’m not talking about just being smart, she definitely gets too into fantasy books/series, she hyper fixates on stuff, she had NO DRIP in middle school(once Duncan sees some old photos of her, he roasts tf outta her), she had braces & stayed home even when she was invited out. She may be a mean baddie now but like.. I need this girl to be a complete dork and I love that for her fr

I love these 💜

Courtney could be fast asleep and hear her window open and just know it’s Duncan. She doesn’t even question it anymore, she just moves over so he has room to hop in and cuddle.

Duncan needing glasses would be the funniest thing ever. He’s slowly turning into his father and he hates it. What’s next? Balding? With the way he constantly bleaches and dyes his hair I’d say the odds are not in his favor.

Duncan has brought home so many strays Courtney made a rule that they can’t stay longer than one night. He just takes them to DJ’s now— he never cares lmao

Duncan and wild animals? They seem to be equals. Kinda like the whole, “pick on someone your own size.” It’s a problem.

Ah yes, Duncan 100% has folders of just Courtney. And it’s safe to say one folder is not appropriate and they definitely fight about it.

Courtney definitely rubbed off on him before they were even official. They’re so cute 💀

Duncan tripping out would literally be the funniest thing. I would pay good money to witness it.

Imagine Duncney being so rich they have homes in different countries and they have a capybara somewhere in South America lmao

HC, Courtney actually hates the marshmallows because of what they are made of and sneakily gives them to the raccoons. She only takes a bite out of that one to assert her dominance when Sadie gets bored off 😂

Imagine Duncan being so pissed he just starts flipping out in Italian. Chris has to cut that footage because he just knows it’s not in good taste.

Just the thought of Courtney singing that gave me goosebumps. She would put her whole soul into and imagine Duncan hearing it? OOOOHHHHH

Yeah, Courtney for sure was a nerd. Her taste in music is another example of it— classical music and instrumentals. It’s not entirely her fault though, her parents play a major role. But once she’s old enough to actually enjoy others company (kb5) she comes out of her shell A LOT.

#the-type-a #duncney #td courtney #td duncan #total drama courtney #total drama duncan #ragamuffin-bites

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vacantgodling · 10 months

Note

Costume, courage, and darkness for the magic ask game

And dealer's choice for the relationships ask game for Hya (aka whichever would be the most fun to answer)

( @angsty-prompt-hole )

thank you!!! :’)

COSTUME - How much research have you done for your WIP?

tbh for most wips i do end up doing a lot of research just bc (1) i think research and learning without guidelines or constraints is really fun and (2) i’m subject to fall down wiki rabbit holes so i end up learning more than i initially intend and then it makes it’s way into the wip or a wip somehow lol

COURAGE - What's the last word you had to google the definition of?

UM,,,, idk off the top of my head? ig beneaux — just to see if it’s an actual word that means something and it ain’t SO lol

DARKNESS - Would you rather start a WIP with no plan, or with everything planned to the exact detail?

everything planned to the exact detail bc planning is actually my favorite part of writing. i love concocting the story and all the scenarios and all the little bits and bobs in my head… i mean deadass this is how i’m “writing” tcol. i have so much planning and so very little actual prose but i’m 100% ok with that.

AND HYA MY DARLING LMAOOO. even tho these are relationship asks i’ll mostly focus on hya’s side of things :3c

15. What names are they saved as on each other’s phone?

if hya had a phone (cellphones aren’t a thing in paramour but rotary phones are lmao) amon would be saved as “nuisance” or “butler” lmao. once they got married it might change to just “amon” but if amon did something that irritated him it’d change back to “nuisance” LMAO

16. What would they consider quality time?

literally the cutest thing hya enjoys is reading together. they actually snuggle up and literally amon will be behind hya and reading over his shoulder and they’ll talk about the book as they read. he may not say it out loud but it’s honestly his favorite thing to do and it’s the most genuinely content you’ll ever see him fr. he may even smile a little (GASP)

31. Do they fall in love easily?

he doesn’t but that’s extremely obvious. if amon wasn’t in the picture seriously i doubt that hya would ever date or have sex with anyone; no one is up to his standards AND no one would probably want to put in the leg work to get past his outer shell. and the thing is; even once you get closer to him that doesn’t mean he’s going to change necessarily. there isn’t a “stoic and mean outside to soft caring inside” situation going on here. it’s irritatble stoic and domineering and then slightly more docile but you wouldn’t be able to tell unless you squint. hya is very lucky that amon is fucking into him and into that in general bc tbh as much as i love hya he is an EXHAUSTING man. if you piss him off he’ll be pissed for days (unless you’re amon and you can get him to release that outlet), he’s not going to start the conversation most of the time and he will finish it. you have to have a lot of balls and self confidence to be with him and tbh it makes him respect amon even if, again, he won’t say it out loud or to your face.

35. What moment did they realise that they were in love?

this is interesting to think about especially in context of canon. i don’t think there was a sneaking suspicion or anything like that with hya—for him it was honestly that he noticed AMON starting to fall in love with him, or, even if not love starting to care about him more than just barbs when they talked and good raunchy sex. and that terrified him. he started to push amon away because he couldn’t bear the idea of amon caring about him; but he spent so much time focusing on amon NOT caring about him that he didn’t realize all the ways that he himself was caring as well. there’s a scene where hya and erecia go somewhere together and usually hya and amon are together and he’s on edge the entire time. he remembers things about amon, when he can’t be assed to remember shit about anyone. he worries about amon’s safety even if he won’t say it etc etc. it deadass isn’t until amon is CRYING and saying to his face that i’m in fucking love with you that it hits hya that oh *god* — i fucking care about him too.

but he doesn’t react how you’d expect. you’d expect him to yell and scream and vehemently deny it but i think what’s crazy and fascinating and makes me obsessed with hya is he actually feels a lot of his true feelings quietly. amon begs him not to go back to the chateau and he says, evenly, even after they were just SCREAMING at each other that he can’t. why? because he doesn’t want amon to face the keeper alone. he bandages amon up, but doesn’t look him in the eyes. he loves quietly because that’s the only way he can and i’m obsessed with it.

42. Have they ever been jealous?

hya is definitely a jealous man but in some aspects he’s never had anything trigger his jealousy about amon. to side track to amon briefly, amon is literally MAGNETIZED to hya. there isn’t a single person who monopolizes his attention more. even if he’s doing something else all hya has to do is step into a room and amon is orbiting him; like a planet and it’s moon. so amon’s never really given hya a reason to be jealous though… if he ever did or tried, he wouldn’t be able to sit for a week let’s put it that way.

#s: paramour #about renjamin

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myrddin-wylt · 1 year

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I 110% agree with the "race is an abstract concept" thing. I'm central asian and it pains me when i click the "asian" button when college apps in the US ask me for my ethnicity and then they have options for a bunch of asian countries except for central and west asia. Do... do i not count?? Bc fr i thought i was asian this whole time, no apparently the US counts central asians as white??? and i feel like that erases my whole identity.

I did research on genes and stuff to find some semblance of "asian" in the genes of the country i originate from, and i was a little relieved that there was more "asian" in the genes. But the fact that i did this to calm myself down really hit home how race is seen as a defining factor for many

Bc central asian history involves indo iranians settling in, the mongols invading, alex the great and all that stuff and you expect us to be homogenous like east asia? i was talking to my tunisian friend about this and she agreed, since there were arab takeovers and roman invasions and all that too, so of course the population will be split on race. I feel like ethnicity is more helpful because at the end of the day, this feels like it's more about skin color or what you look like, and i feel like the concept of race was popularized to divide people in a way

Theres tiktok discourse where an east asian lady called armenians white, which similarly erases armenian identity(also why i never understood why caucasian = white because it refers to people in the caucasus region, so armenia, azerbaijan, etc), so yeah i agree. Cant ethnicity be used instead? It feels like its a lot less subjective

you know, incidentally, what prompted that post was a bad race discourse tiktok I saw and thought “lol this person would have no idea what to do with a Turk.”

“I feel like the concept of race was popularized to divide people in a way.” so there is...... a LOT to this topic. a LOT. but strictly speaking you are 100% correct. like I feel like a dismissive asshole for saying “go read the wikipedia page” but there is absolutely no way I can explain even half the topic via a tumblr post. however I will try to give a few..... idk, tips?

1) prior to the 17th century, ‘race’ is just a group of people with a shared trait, not necessarily genetics/appearance.

2) scientific racism is pseudoscience that defines ‘race’ by genetics.

3) racial essentialism is the unholy result of when academics use ‘race’ to mean social construct but laymen think they mean genetics -> result: -> the consequences of ‘race’ are social and cultural and change depending on that culture, but the categories themselves are fixed. so the advantages and disadvantages of being white are purely social, but whiteness itself has a static definition (ie appearance). calling an Armenian white is an example of racial essentialism.

link, link, link, link to an abstract because the rest is paywalled but the abstract is sufficient, another abstract with a paywall, huh, it’s almost like the reason science doesn’t filter down to laymen is because it’s so fucking difficult to access and understand.

4) racial essentialism is the reason you can take something as useful as critical race theory and twist it so far beyond recognition that you use it to come up with a conclusion that both Thomas Jefferson and Hitler would unironically agree with.

here are some sources on the confusion of critical race theory. mind you, because this is so contentious, please use your own judgement on the accuracy and/or trustworthiness of these sources.* link, link, link, link

5) ‘identity’ is whatever traits people use to identify you, right? so it’s an external thing applied to you by others so that they can make assumptions to understand you. you do not have to make any of these assumptions or identifiers how you understand yourself ie your personal identity. have no fear. it’s less important to focus on what you ‘are’ than on what emotions you’re feeling and why, what your thought processes are and why, etc etc.

good luck and godspeed lmao

*if you read something you disagree with, don’t fuckin @ me

#ask #anon #disclaimer: if literally anyone clowns in my inbox I'm turning off anon

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katnissgirlsmakedo · 1 year

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no one asked but i’m awake and i’m here and i’m annoyed about it so i will now give you all my thoughts on the new taylor stuff. first of all. ok fake fan moment (hardly my fault the album was not good and i didn’t feel like going out of my way (beyond spotify) to listen to one fucking song from it) but i have never heard hits different before. as of writing this post i still haven’t frankly i listened to like 30 seconds and then was like eh this sounds promising enough that i’ll remember to come back tomorrow and then i came here. so that’s that. secondly. snow on the beach featuring more lana del ray?? ok taylor working overtime to beat the misogyny allegations i see. it’s not working. why? because this was bad. it sounds bad. sorry lana. you two should never collab again that was awful. sorry. i’m not a Music Guy i’m just giving my opinion. and my opinion is that it sounded bad and was bad. and i LIKE the og snow on the beach. so you know i’m not just being a hater because i never liked the song. anyway. never listening to that version again peace and love. going to stream some of born to die tomorrow tho literally album of the summer every summer since 2012 fr…. ok thirdly. the big one. going to ramble maybe idk i haven’t decided. anyway. if all the tiktok swifite discourse about karma featuring ice spice wasn’t enough to annoy you, how about the fact that the song sounds bad? it’s not good. sorry ice spice, i understand north west is a huge fan of yours so i assume your career will survive. but girl you did not have to agree to be a half assed feature on this bitch’s hastily made deluxe deluxe version of her flop album…. girl i know you did it for publicity i get it i love that but damn you should have at least used your bargaining power in this situation for something that is like. good to listen to. you HAD that bargaining power….. and you let blondie do this to you? goddamn. and now to comment on The Discourse because why not i’m already here. ok. people saying this was planned ages ago because music doesn’t “just come together last minute it had to have been planned a while ago” blah blah. you are delusional. taylor did not know who ice spice was probably until her idiot fucking boyfriend said some racist ass shit about her. i’m not saying taylor is incapable of also supporting ice as an artist like i’m sure after she found out who she was she listened to her music and was like oh she’s good sorry my man said that lol. i assume they respect each other as artists in some capacity. however you literally need to understand that taylor featured her to make it look like her boyfriend’s shitty comments were water under the bridge (despite the fact he never apologized). and ice spice agreed because she knows that 1) the swifties that are being critical of taylor rn are going to support her and probably listen to her solo stuff. and 2) the swifties that aren’t being critical of her are also going to support her and maybe listen to her solo stuff. there is no version of this situation where ice spice loses, she agreed to this feature to grow her career, not because she necessarily forgave that guy for what he said, or because she thinks he and taylor are such good people, or because she really sees the situation as water under the bridge. it’s pr for her too she made a smart business decision. but she’s not taylor’s friend. also the idea that a feature on a song that already exists takes months to plan is ridiculous. babe they probably did this three weeks ago, this industry is not as fucking professional as they want you to think. anyway. that’s all. i should listen to hits different now. what direction do you think i’ll blorboify that one? i do wonder, no way to tell until i’ve actually heard the song. it’ll probably be about kit. most songs are these days i don’t really have much else going on. ok goodnight

#beth.txt

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akkivee · 9 months

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the understated kuukou moment in these drama tracks is how everyone had given up on putting on the show after honobono came in like a wrecking ball but kuukou gathered up the pros, the audience and crew back and put the show back on (and continued ichiro’s dream)

#this is vee speaking #kuukou burst into hitoya’s office yelling about this thing ichiro wanted to do so he wanted to do it as well #and when everyone was worried ichiro wouldn’t show up in time kuukou was like nah he’ll be here with that unwavering faith of his 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#kuukou’s love for ichiro makes me fcking cry bro lmao it’s so cute and he’s so cute 😭😭😭#some of the stuff brought out from the track is making me think about ichiro/kuukou bb/bat parallels #it fr just makes me a little nervous speculating if they’re connected at all since bat still doesn’t have stakes in this lol *wheezing*#for kuukou’s bday tho hayama-san tweeted out ‘all of heaven and earth revolves around you’ so i WILL be holding that close to heart #even if it’s not necessarily true lol #(but it could!!!!!!!! yamada mama’s name means infinity and kuukou’s name means void and both are ENDLESS)#(there may be something!!!!!! lol)

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unhealthyfanobsession · 2 years

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hellllooooo!!! okay i would actually like to have a discussion about this. by no means is this any hate towards you or me trying to start an argument. just a civil disagreement re: your anti-neris/eris ask!!!

1. agree entirely with this point omggg nesta is literally an eris/rhys in female form without the added ambition, war crimes, and misogyny under her belt fr fr

2. OKAY LOVED BEST LAID PLANS QUEEN YOUR TALENT>>>> sorry love to see white men lose. here’s where i disagree tho. you say that eris saw nesta in a way that cassian didn’t/doesn’t. but i would argue that he does! eris clearly sees nesta as a prize worth having and a huge political advantage (which, duuuhh) but i would say cassian does too. in fact, i would go so far as to say cassian sees so much more than eris. he sees the power she holds in her humanity, in her trauma, and in everything she is beyond that. i think cassian does not let that be the only thing that defines her. that’s she’s a great weapon but that’s only one facet to who she is as a person. i think also saying that cassian didn’t want her as unapologetically or unashamedly as eris did is a little unfair to cassian and nessian’s story over all. their relationship dynamic’s exterior is more of a push/pull sort while their interior leaves a lot of things left unsaid. they’ve never had the clean slate of “seducing him with a dance” that eris had. and i 100% am with you, cassian did do some majorly questionable things (a discussion for another time, maybe. this one is already dragging its ass lmaoo) and i’m not excusing what he’s done but i think nitpicking a few wrongs out of the many and multiple good things cassian not only did for her but *with* her kind of cheapens nesta’s love for him a little bit but that’s maybe just more my opinion than anything else. ALTHOUGH I WILL SAY i’m kinda offended w this klaroline comparison queen. i get neris is fantasy and fun and whatever you wanna make it but c’monnnn klaroline king and queen of the screen UNTOUCHABLE UNREACHABLE PERFECTION…just can’t compare. also eris will never be babyklaus i’m sorry i’ll see myself out now pls don’t hate me.

3. YES! YES I AGREE. I AGREE NESTA OVER HUMANITY IM SO SERIOUS RN!!!! nesta archeron the woman that u are…

4. ooooh yep u got me there queen. may i offer, also: azriel. mysterious morally grey pretty bois will always trump whitehets for me ngl. THE ENEMIES TO LOVERS POTENTIAL!!!!

all in all, queen i truly truly deeply do not mean to offend you at all i just wanted to offer some food for thought and another perspective for the discussion!!! i love everything you write you’re literally the best nessian author fr you feed me all the time i have NOTHING BUT RESPECT FOR U!!!! love u love u love u

Hello hello - first of all when I said I was getting hate i 100% NEVER mean things like this. Respectful disagreement is important and fun. I’m literally a lawyer I promise to never be offended by stuff like this lol. I just kinda dipped out of my own messages for a while because I was over it.

Overall, I think the crux of everything I say with Neris is just the ✨fantasy✨ we don’t know what Eris would be like or how he would behave and we are annoyed with Cassian. The MAJOR issue I would say is that pretty much all of the good things Cassian did or affection he showed was before ACOSF and then he spent like half of THEIR BOOK being, if I may say so, a little bitch. He just never defended her until she started doing what he wanted essentially. I don’t think Cassian didn’t care. I think it’s clear he always cared and always wanted Nesta - but it’s the fact that this book was SO anticipated and we were waiting for a healing journey but it ended up being a drill sergeant. Annoyance with Cassian is kind of caked into annoyance with all of ACOSF, in my opinion. I’m not necessarily defending Eris and I don’t actually canon ship this couple, I’m more just explaining where the Neris shipping comes from in my opinion. Cassian was a total simp pre-ACOSF and we fell in love with that. There was the original tension of “calling her out” (eyeroll) but then his whole story was basically longing for and being the only one who understood Nesta. So the combo of the Cassian who actually understood Nesta being nowhere in site and this powerful sexy man being into Nesta and no questions asked wanting her … which was basically EXACTLY what we were all expecting from Cassian just amped everything up to a thousand. We were expecting pained sad boi longing as they healed together and instead we got forced into a house and “everyone hates you” and I think the collective attitude was well if she’s going to not have that epic love story then at least get her away from the IC and make her in charge of a Court thx. That was my mindset anyway. Again, I don’t think it’s actually where anyone felt the narrative going and it’s an over simplification but it was born from a lot of anger over a lot of different issues and character hypocrisies.

Also, to be clear, the Klaroline comparison was genre based only. Just the idea that an enemy becoming obsessed with one of the “good guys” and putting her first while her “boyfriend” is putting others before her is a very sexy vibe that we are all susceptible to. I do hate comparing Cassian to Tyler even a tiny bit … but yknow what if the growling and alpha male complex fit …

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wrenhyperfixates · 1 year

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HELSPJS MAMMON WAS MY FIRST FAVE HES ADORABLE!!! AND STILL SITS IN MY TOP 3 HES JUST GREAT and hell yes, let me rank my obey me faves from 1-7 with reasons because I don't have a life.

1. Levi - He's so funny, he's so skrunkly, he's such a mood. I kinda kin him and have a giant crush on him at the same time. i'll cosplay as ruri-chan for you anyday bbg 10/10 man

2. Belphie - he's hot now but he was a red flag at the start (thankfully im a sucker for villain redemption arcs, no wonder im a scara simp). Anyways belphie = scara they are the same person.

3. Mammon - MY FIRST FAVE, MY FIRST HUSBANDO!!!!! i love him sm you have no idea he's so precious he's so blorbo he's so !!!! i still simp for him but i find myself in the Levi/Belphie tags more often so I can say that he has officially been dethroned now 💔

4. Beel - LITERAL BABIE !!!! i wouldn't say im a simp??? idk he just reminds me of a giant puppy that needs to be protected at all costs and he's so precious 🥹 but those arms are literally criminal WHY. anyways, he is the definition of himbo and one of my favorite characters in the game

5. Lucifer - he's fine ig, i don't hate him but i don't understand all the simpery 😭😭 he's hot tho

6. Asmo - he's kinda annoying 🤡 like i get that him only loving himself is his entire shtick but CMON???? GIVE HIM SOME PERSONALITY PLS???

7. Satan - I literally don't know anything about this guy wth

Ooooo ok a very respectable list!!!! I shall now share mine 😌

1. Mammon: he’s hot and very openly simps for mc (tho he tries to hide it sometimes he doesn’t do it well lmao) he’s adorable 😫 I feel like the game low-key wants you to like him the most sometimes asdfghjkl I really do love how soft he is for mc and he’s pretty funny and yea he’s my little tsun tsun 💖

2. Belphie: yea he’s a red flag but red’s my favorite color. But fr once he works through his stuff he’s very sweet and very baby. he is my babygirl I love him I want to cuddle him while we nap pls

3. Levi: LETS BE OTAKUS TOGETHER MY PRECIOUS LITTLE SHUT IN BOY ❤️ skrunkly is exactly the word for him. Would love to do some gaming and anime watching with me. Probably very close to my ideal bf ngl-

4. Beel: YES HES SUCH A HIMBO AND I LOVE HIM FOR IT. also don’t necessarily simp for him but he’s so sweet and caring 🥺 probably gives the best hugs and is the most thoughtful out of all the brothers imo

5. Satan: interchangeable with Lucifer depending on the day but I would love to read and look at cat videos with him 😍 those may be his only two character traits but that’s enough for me lmaooo. Also he low-key has daddy issues. There’s something abt the way he interacts with mc that I just find hot tbh 😳

6. Lucifer: like I said, interchangeable with Satan. Probably the hottest of the brothers if we’re being honest 🥵 I feel like I don’t actually know much abt him but um yea hot. And he’s a good big brother… most of the time lol

7. Asmo: we would be great friends but I don’t simp him at all 😭 I’ve read some analyses abt his character so I think he has more depth than the game rlly showcases

Are you up to do the side characters?? 👀

#ask #obey me #mutuals <3 #my name twin 💖

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aoshihugs · 2 years

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anon requested:

yukimiya kenyu simp content

⤿ ‘x reader’ hcs

⤿ warnings: swearing, use of ‘love’ as a petname

❥ if you’re comfortable with having a public relationship, the experience would be summed up in one word: clout

❥ so much fame, so many haters, so many more shippers

❥ hope you have thick skin because oh boy

❥ if you’d prefer to keep things on the DL he’s cool with that too, he prioritizes your comfort over his all day every day

❥ in fact, i think yukimiya would prefer to keep his relationships private, because he values intimacy

❥ while he may be popular, that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s into dating culture

❥ he’d post cute couple’s pictures and candids of you when you’re not paying attention (with your permission) and the relationship wouldn’t necessarily be a secret, but he wouldn’t broadcast your love life, yk?

❥ your family and friends would love him

❥ he’s so charming omg

❥ annoyingly so, sometimes? like yea your bf’s hot no wonder everyone wants to get his number, get in line mfs 🙄🙄

❥ too bad so sad lmaooo

❥ he doesn’t harshly reject people, he’s more of a “gentle rejection” type of guy

❥ but if you start to get uncomfortable with how many people throw themselves at him, he can be more assertive

❥ serious yukki is so hot wtf did yall see that one panel

❥ anyways

❥ definitely the type of bf to shower you with surprise gifts and expect nothing in return

❥ very attentive and observant, he pays attention and remembers the little things you mention that you like so he can surprise you with them later

❥ very good with remembering dates!! he’ll know your birthday, anniversary, your parents’ birthdays, the day your fish died, etc etc lol

❥ is always genuinely surprised and kinda emotional whenever you surprise him with a gift

❥ he genuinely doesn’t expect you to do the same for him because he’s used to spending a little more money than other people

❥ so cute thoooo, he’s such a sweetheart with you it’s almost disgusting

❥ you could be on a casual date to your “usual spot” (wherever that is) and if you pull out a small penguin plushie/accessory he’s all:

❥ *gasp* “aww love, you didn’t need to… 🥺”

❥ like stfu yes you DID bruh. accept the damn gift.

❥ uses “love, dear, darling, honey, baby” by default unless you ask him to change them

❥ big fan of cheek and nose kisses, this guy!! both giving and receiving!!

❥ if you’re shorter, he likes to tilt your head up at random or when you’re hugging and press one to your nose or cheekbone

❥ if you’re his height and taller, he still guides you by the chin for a quick kiss

❥ fuckin sap ew

❥ his kisses are very soft and gentle, he’s a pretty patient and laidback guy (blue lock really has his blood temperatures rising lmao) and i think that reflects in his physical affection tendencies

❥ is super cool with any pda that you’re comfortable with!! personally enjoys hugging and hand holding

❥ just feels very satisfied(?) with being close to you in some regard

❥ if you’re not the pda type he’d adjust accordingly, but would still be kinda sad lol

❥ give the man some love pls

❥ he’s not a very insecure person but every now and then he’ll need some reassurance that you truly care about him and not his image

❥ WOULD BEG YOU TO READ OYASUMI PUNPUN LMAOO

❥ he wants you to be into what he’s into, and he’s into some dark shit fr (canonically likes that one scene in evangelion where homegirl gets a sky funeral?? hello?? what??)

❥ will reciprocate this tenfold tho!! super excited when you ask him to do something you like or watch a movie together or recommend a book or blah blah blah

❥ you’d be such an annoyingly cute couple jfc save some hope for the rest of us please

❥ 100% does that thing where he “tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear” if it’s long enough

❥ you ever watch a romance k-drama? yeah that’s you and yukki… minus the forced love triangle and surprise hospitalization arc

❥ is cool with sharing his food with you

❥ would also be down to feed you his food

❥ like i said, annoyingly cute

❥ PLEASE WEAR MATCHING OUTFITS WITH HIM HE WOULD GET SO EXCITED!!!

❥ do you want to see blushing yukki? i know you do. put on the “i’m with stupid –>” shirt right now.

#<//3 ranfiction #yukimiya my love #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #blue lock headcanons #blue lock #bllk #bllk hcs #yukimiya kenyu #kenyu yukimiya #blue lock yukimiya #yukimiya kenyu x reader

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cancerfairy · 2 years

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exchange reading

Hello lovely !! How are you doing? I was wondering if you’d be down for an exchange reading ?

the question: How/When will you meet your future spouse ?

your reading:

Ok so I’m getting that you’ll meet them in a time when you’re probably not focused on relationships in general. You might have even been hurt in the past or you just don’t want anything to do with “love” at that time. You’ll be healing and working on yourself as a person, doing your own thing and love will honestly be the last thing on your mind. You might meet at a peaceful place. That’s doesn’t necessarily mean “quiet” but rather just somewhere you find inner peace or simply inner happiness at. Im getting you might even meet at a wedding or celebration of some sort. Graduation ? I’m not sure ignore that if it doesn’t resonate lol it just came up in my mind. But I see the meeting time is not really stable. Like, it feels as though it depends more on your healing process and meeting your future spouse is part of the healing itself. You’ll meet this person simply when you get to a stage of healing when you’re not even focused on meeting them and they’ll heal parts of you that you didn’t even realize where there to begin with. I’m getting the number three for timing as well, that intuitively came to me.

Cards: Three of Swords, Four of Wands, The Hermit, The Hierophant (I wasn’t able to get more cards out for this reading so I’m thinking the rest is for you to find out from within)

I hope the reading resonated though love! If not then I don’t mind doing it again, or let me know if you have any more questions ~ thank you for your time and effort <3

hi my love <3333 gosh this resonates more than you know tbh bc i keep getting that i'll meet him when i don't wanna deal with love or when i'm focusing on myself fr. literally the only message i get when i ask this question for myself is "divine timing" so it's no wonder you can't pinpoint an exact time literally my guides don't want me to know at all. but omg graduation does resonate for me ngl. i'll keep the number 3 in mind tho 👁

➪ how/when will you meet your fs?

(when) cards: ace of wands, two of swords, the hierophant -- four of pentacles at the bottom of the deck

(how) cards: three of swords, king of swords, three of wands, five of swords -- four of pentacles at the bottom of the deck

so intuitively i'm getting that you'll meet your fs very very soon like i kept hearing "now now!" so yeah take that as it resonates. now because we got the ace of wands too it kinda reinforces that timing as well. not really getting a specific amount of years, weeks or anything because it's kinda a divine timing thing. now you might meet at a time when you're feeling really excited about life, ready to start new things but still feeling confused about which direction to go so this might have to do with school. especially with the hierophant here, you might meet at school or college? as for how you'll meet them, you might meet after you or they've gone through a heart break but bossed up. at that time they could be trying to move on or travel to get away and gain peace of mind. definitely went through a falling out with someone or some people they were close to which causes them or you to be guarded when you meet so look out for that.

additional messages: wish, 18, in common, time and and tide, self love, ocean, moments - jhene aiko, peace of mind - lauryn hill

#exchange readings

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palmett-hoes · 3 years

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Do you have any fan casts or strong takes/feelings on the foxes’ appearances? Fandom tends to use the same Pinterest models, which feels wrong to me.

i do in fact! i've actually been meaning to make a post about how i choose to write all of the foxes' ethnicities anyway

but yes i absolutely agree that the typical pinterest model types u generally see on edits is not how i see any of them. nor is reece king or froy gutierrez or lucky blue smith one of my FCs for anyone

for a lot of them i don't necessarily have a single specific FC so much as i have like,, a general impression of features that i will see on various different people, who all may look wildly different from each other or who may not even look how i see the character as a whole but do have a specific feature i associate with them. mostly it boils down to the Energy i get tbh and that's just a Feeling i cant even explain

fun fact im a tiny bit face blind so that might account for some of why i'm so all-over about this

may as well go chronologically. some of them i definitely have more thoughts on than others

1. Dan

ethnicity: Afro Native (Sioux)

features: medium dark skin. buzzcut, killer fade. she often styles it in waves. she's very butch, wears a lot of basketball and cargo shorts, tank tops and flannels and jerseys, hiking boots. skinny but muscular, with a very rectangular body shape. defined jaw. probably like 5'4 or 5'5

FC/Energy: sometimes i get some dan energy out of janelle monae but more butch. lotta dan energy out of samira wiley. lashana lynch

2. Kevin

ethnicity: a lot of things tbd, but he's pretty multi-ethnic. i like the idea of kayleigh being half- or a quarter-japanese in addition to irish because it gives her more of a reason to go to japan for her undergrad. wymack is from d.c. which is a majority black city for its actual residents, but i also like the idea of him being Pasifika/Hawaiian. HOWEVER - and this is pretty important to my read of kevin's character - he's white passing, and has been mostly treated as a white guy who tans his whole life, like occasionally asked if he's italian maybe. learning that his father was a Distinctly Not White Man was a big shock to him.

kristin kreuk, lindsay price, phoebe cates, and marie digby are all half-asian actresses i base kayleigh on

i suppose i base his story partially on broadway actress carol channing, who revealed publically that she was a quarter black when she was like 80 years old. though maybe wentworth miller, a biracial actor who knows his father is black but also doesn't know him, is more accurate to kevin's story. then keanu reeves is a white passing actor with asian ancestry

also none of these people look anything like how i picture kevin lol. kevin is just like,, a guy. handsome ig. but kind of in a CW character kind of way

actually

kevin looks exactly like young jason momoa

3. Andrew

ethnicity: kayin/karen from myanmar

features: fat and muscular, very wide and heavy. this blog is basically all andrew body type refs. medium-olive skin, has a bit of a greyish tinge that makes him look a bit eerie or unhealthy. deep set, droopy eyes; looks so tired. flat face with a low-bridged nose. crooked teeth, especially his canines. natural hair black-ish but he bleaches it light blond. has the beginnings of martial artist punching callouses in his knuckles

FC/Energy: holy shit the characters i feel have Andrew Energy are all over the place. pedro pascal. babe ruth (yes fr). oddjob (harold sakata) from goldfinger. the jinn (mousa kraish) from american gods. gaear grimsrud (peter stormare) from fargo. takeshi kovacs (joel kinnaman) from altered carbon. and i wanna be clear, it's these characters specifically, and generally NOT the actors outside of that specific role. except pedro ❤️

4. Matt

ethnicity: cuban

appearance: matt has more of an Energy than specific features to me rn. that energy is Warm. he has that Warm bro jock dude energy. kind of a marvel hero build, hunky and muscular. very rectangular face. has this haircut:

5. Aaron

i get to cut myself some slack and not go AS in depth about aaron because he and andrew are identical twins

ethnicity: kayin/karen from myanmar

appearance: similar build to andrew, less confident and casual posture and body language. less apathetically murderous and more emotive expressions. better teeth bc his mom took him to the dentist. yes also bleaches his hair

celebrities: probably a lot like the difference between the characters and the actors. andrew is the characters and aaron is how the actors actually look. idk ive never looked at someone and thought 'hey! looks like aaron!'

6. Seth

ethnicity: have been going with half-vietnamese. considering looking into various south asian possibilities like pakistani

appearance: string bean build. that's all i have to offer

7. Allison

ethnicity: allison's very up in the air for me. she and seth are the two foxes i feel fine with being white, but im committing to having no white foxes sooo. i would say i generally see her as either half-middle eastern or chinese

appearance: plus sized and hourglass shaped. heart shaped face. taller, like 5'8 or 5'9. she has a pretty fraught history with her appearance and her parents payed for/pressured her into getting a nose job to have a 'prettier' nose. she also bleaches her hair blonde. she gets it done at a salon tho the twinyards do it in their bathroom

FC/Energy: elle king and nadia aboulhosn are my main inspos for her, esp body type but nadia esp in Vibes

8. Nicky

ethnicity: multi-ethnic. his mother is southern mexican Indigenous, possibly oaxacan. his father is mixed white/kayin

appearance: definitely takes after his mother while his father is white passing. dark brown skin, warm undertones. slightly stocky build. tall ovular head and thin aquiline nose. he's kind of just,, the opposite of the twins ig, so like their facial features look very different, which is a big part of why people don't make the connection between him and the twins alongside the difference in their skin tones, heights, and builds. nicky's build and features are very vertically-oriented, with a tall head, narrow-set eyes, thin nose with a high bridge, etc. the twins are horizontally-orienged, with broad, flat faces, wide-set eyes, wide noses with a low bridge, etc.

FC/Energy: yalitza aparicio, not a guy but one of the few Mexican Indigenous stars in the film industry and i really like her features for nicky. she's oaxacan

9. Renee

ethnicity: Black. african american

appearance: plus sized, circular/apple body shape. round face. dark skin. microlocs to a bit past her chin, bleached white and dyed at the ends. she and allison go to the salon together. femme but plain style, a lot of blouses and long skirts, practical shoes. knuckle callouses. about 5'6

FC/Energy: dominique fishback. tracie thoms, esp in RENT. gabourey sidibe. nicole byer, but not in Energy. brandy, for some reason, probably bc i think she has very serene Energy and is a little bit otherworldly. like if brandy played arwen or galadriel from lotr it would make perfect sense to me, and that's the Renee Energy™️

10. Neil

ethnicity: mixed. Black/Jewish on both sides. his father is polish ashkenazi and afro-brazilian. his mother is Black British and algerian jewish

appearance: very... sharp. like sharp all over. does that make sense? sharp features, sharp face shape, sharp angles to his body. he's got what i vaguely think of as a 'basketball build' not meaning tall but meaning very rangy and angular and lean. all limbs. seth has a similar build. lighter brown skin. he has waardenburg syndrome which is actually where he gets he gets his eye color, and his eyes are very large and widely spaced as well. freckles freckles freckles. freckles everywhere. 4a hair but at least during canon it's not very healthy and thus the curls aren't well-defined. he grows it out long enough to tie back and starts taking better care of it in post-canon. wonky, slightly crooked teeth, with a gap between the fronts

FC/Energy: now neil i actually have a ton for. mostly models which im a lil ashamed of bc i do try to draw more from athletes. alton mason is a main body type ref. mugsy bogues is good to see what i mean about the basketball build without the height. here're the boys: cykeem white, luka sabbat, désiré mia, Leo Hoyte-Egan, dylan hasselbaink, this beautiful stock photo model i've never been able to track down

i think about him every. goddamn. day.

in terms of like,, real ppl and not models: corbin bleu, especially during Jump In. figure skater elladj balde. rayan "ray ray" lopez from mindless behavior. A$AP Rocky a lil bit, maybe i just like his hairstyle idk

two more models i think are important: carissa pinkston and ralph souffrant

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angeltrapz · 3 years

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helo beloved mutual connor, im sorry ur goin thru it rn but i come bearing asks n a heart emoji (💗): bcuz i have had this thought floatin around for a lil bit, wld love 2 hear ur takes on an Adam/Eric/Mallick (+ Art too if u want!) road trip vacation! how long wld they go, do they get motels or camp or just sleep in th car? whats everyone's favorite road trip snack? what sorta shit do they like 2 stop for? (weird tourist traps like giant balls of yarn etc, small town main street stores, cool looking restaurants, nature sites, Actual Destinations, so on n so forth!)

fjkdsd thank u beloved mutual adam,,, <3

ohhh I love tht idea!! road trip fics/hcs are one of my weaknesses,,

but um!! I rly like the idea of th four of them going camping a few hours up north!! (we... don't rly know where. SAW is set so just. imagine a vaguely rural campground lmao. I'm used to camping in th upper peninsula of MI so) it's smth tht Art did a lot w his family when he was growing up, so he's th most familiar w it - Eric went a few times as a kid too, Mallick went Once, n Adam has never rly been camping, w his family or otherwise (he's slept on a trampoline at one of his friends' houses once tho). Art is p excited abt it tbh, it's not exactly smth he gets 2 do often so he's got this whole list planned of things he wants 2 show them!!

it's easiest 2 just take a week in late August, bc they can head back home on a Friday n have the weekend to settle n readjust b4 th coming week + they have to go back 2 work. so they head out around ten on a Monday morning 2 kind of get ahead of th traffic (or at least try to). Art drives both bc he insists and bc he knows they can switch if he needs to, which he does later w Eric. it's a good couple hours (at least 3) b4 they get 2 th campground Art wants to take them to, so clearly it is Music Time + Adam made sure 2 bring CDs! a lot of that time is just spent vibing 2 th music and singing very, very loudly (ESP on Adam + Mallick's end). Art's up front like u three are so fucking goofy (affectionate), but eventually he starts singing too lmao.

Mallick starts th Colour Game, where they try 2 find a car fr every colour of th rainbow. it's smth Eric is familiar w as well bc he used 2 play it w Daniel sometimes, and it's good until they come to purple bc how often do u see purple cars??? so Adam's just like "we're not gonna find pink either" n tht's when this fucking pink pickup truck (noticeably spray-painted, + not done well) passes them n Adam just groans n thumps his head against th window. Mallick is like, trying rly hard not to laugh by pressing a hand over his mouth + Art is biting his lip, but Eric is very openly cackling bc "u see what happens when u assume???" (he gets a very light slap 2 th shoulder but it's still very gentle)

ANYWAY. favourite snacks!! Adam can eat Way Too Many Sour Patch Kids. sour anything, actually, as long as it's candy. yes his tongue hurts and no he doesn't regret it. Eric just gets goldfish bc he tends 2 get a lil carsick + bc it's a food tht's familiar n comforting, n he doesn't rly want 2 be eating anything Too heavy (he's up front w Art, so he can sit by a window in case he needs some fresh air at any point). Mallick likes m&m's, but he switches fr cheez-its every once in a while bc he can only eat so much chocolate. Art likes those peanut-butter filled pretzel bites! he's also partial 2 animal crackers tho. they also bring a good amount of snacks/things they can b sure th four of them like, bc yeah there's a lil store abt a half hour away frm their campsite + they can go there to pick up things if they need 2, but it's easier 2 bring things they like, too. (there's also a mcdonald's in tht town n. they do go there at LEAST twice.)

th campsite they stay at has a lake + a beach, n one of Art + Adam's fave things 2 do is walk along it to see if they can find anything interesting! Mallick goes sometimes too, but mostly he stays w Eric bc Eric can't do tht fr as long as Adam + Art can (not tht he's resentful of it tho). he n Mallick chill on th beach w a blanket (it's kind of like. not necessarily sandy?) n just kinda sit against/lay on each other n read sometimes. Adam + Art come back 2 where they're set up to find them sleeping n Adam has never been more thankful he thought 2 bring his camera!!

on th second day Art + Mallick want 2 go swimming, so th four of them come back out to th beach, but Adam stays out of th water + Eric stays w him. they both know th water will be cold, even if it's late summer, n Adam rly doesn't like being in cold water ESP if it's over his head/he can't touch th bottom. fr Eric th cold can b kind of painful, so they chill n walk along th beach fr a little bit n just talk. Adam gets some good pictures n even gets some of Eric! he also does take a selfie of them, he can't help it. he gets a couple of Mallick + Art too. it's honestly such a nice thing fr them n it just feels like they can breathe easy, not having 2 worry abt looking over their shoulders constantly (tho they're all getting better abt that).

th third day they spend around th campsite to kind of unwind n relax. they might walk th beach a little bit again, but mostly they just sorta chill n walk some of th trails around the campground itself. when night falls they light a small bonfire (Mallick is still iffy around fire, understandably) n they sit around it in their folding chairs w th cupholders (Adam gets red, Eric has green, Art gets blue, + Mallick gets dark green) n make s'mores. they talk abt anything n everything until they're barely able 2 keep their eyes open, n then after making sure th fire is pretty much out they kinda just stumble into th tent n none of them r awake for very long after (they specifically got one tht cld comfortably hold th four of them).

fourth day!! they pack up n head into another little town about 45 minutes away; it's bigger than th one around th campgrounds. after they get situated in a motel room w two beds, they do some window shopping + going into lil stores that interest them! Adam def buys some niche graphic tees tht aren't going 2 make sense to anyone other than th four of them n he's delighted abt it. I like 2 think Eric gets a worry stone, specifically made out of rose quartz. Mallick too, but his is made of amethyst! he also gets a rly cool multicoloured jacket in a thrift store they duck into. Art gets a hoodie w th town's name on it n he's pretty happy w that. they get a few more lil things, just little knick-knacks while they're there, n then they have dinner in this lil diner they'd walked past earlier bc it's inexpensive + the atmosphere is very lowkey n honestly just Nice. there's not a bunch of ppl, the servers r rly kind n the lights aren't too bright, which Eric rly appreciates. it's such a tender moment bc they're squeezed into a booth, Adam + Mallick on one side n Art + Eric on th other, n they're talking n laughing n stealing bites of each other's food n it's Comfortable.

then they head back to th motel n channel surf while unpacking enough 2 get to their sleep clothes. Adam + Eric r sharing a bed n Art + Mallick r sharing th other one, tho Adam is very tempted 2 just push them together so they're all close by (th distance btwn th beds isn't tht big to begin with, but it's the principle of th thing). mostly tho, until they go to bed, they're pretty much just all stretched out Everywhere. Adam is only discouraged frm jumping across th divide btwn th beds bc Art breaks out his Lawyer Voice, despite trying rly hard not to laugh, to say Yr Going To Hurt Yrself, Don't Do That. he grumbles n whines abt it but Adam knows he's right jdhjks (th way he sees it is like. he can b silly sometimes. he's Earned It, but he also trusts Art + wasn't super serious abt tht idea). eventually tho Eric can hardly keep his eyes open n Mallick is just straight up asleep while he's still sitting up so tht's when they all go to bed after making sure every1 is comfortable. they leave a lamp on.

fifth day they pack everything up again n stop 2 walk th trails of this lil park b4 they head home! there's a lil shop near th parking lot so they spend a lil bit of time looking around in there first. they probably pick up a few lil things, souvenirs, n Adam walks around 2 get some pictures. he gets this rly cool one while they're on a bridge, th sun peeking thru the clouds a lil bit n shining down on th water. he's super excited to develop tht one (but he's excited to develop All of them, bc this is his family!!!) + he n Art discuss whether or not they're gonna need another cork board lol. eventually tho they round back to th parking lot n on th way home, they stop at another lil hole-in-th-wall kind of place, but it's just as nice as the first one they'd been to. after tht Eric switches spots w Art n he drives them home!!

they're all exhausted when they get back but they have room to crash w each other while they nap so tht's what they do. they fall asleep all tangled together, Art stretched out w Eric's head on his chest, Adam curled against Eric's back, n Mallick w his head on Art's stomach. there r arms n legs everywhere n tht is okay. they're happy. they love each other. they had a lot of fun on their trip n they're tired, but they're comfortable!! tht's what it's all abt!!! it's just such a good n relaxing experience fr them after all th shit they've been thru.

#can u tell I. love camping jdkfks #saw #art #adam #eric #mallick #ty ty!!! I rly appreciate it #I'm doing okay now mostly I think. pretty much always open fr saw asks tho djhfkjsd ESP if they're abt the polycule!!#I literally Do Not get sick of talking abt them dkjdskd #asks #gotta update th masterpost later!! I remembered yesterday but I was up fr too long lmao #real talk tho. thank u fr sending me asks they're my fave <3

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