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naffeclipse · 6 months

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Toying around with a sort of Apex Polarity spin involving Sun and Moon and having them as Arctic Fox type of creatures (think werewolf monster body types but fox style) and Y/N is an Arctic Hare-esque humanoid mythical being with white fur and long ears tipped in black. Of course, it's set in the Arctic tundra. Thinking of calling it Of Fox Maws.

You've seen the fox men before. They'll skirt the outsides of the large valley you like to go to gather arctic willow and sedge out of the snow. Their eyes glint in the harsh Arctic light, watching you. You warily tense your legs, always ready to bolt should the two fiends decide they're hungry enough to attempt to chase you down.

You can't trust foxes.

But you always skip away, out of sight and far from the terror of what could easily be your last day. This happens for a season. Sometimes, they attempt to creep closer in plain view but you turn tail and run, ducking behind snowy hills and hiding low until you're certain they're gone.

Once, you were caught off guard in the middle of your foraging. One voice called softly out to you. You jumped back and found the fox men too close, almost within lunging distance—your little heart fluttered as if to take flight and escape—but you ran and ran and ran until you couldn't breathe. Then, you look behind you.

The fox men were nowhere to be found.

One day, you're amid a rocky field of purple saxifrage, happily picking blossoms to toss in your mouth while twisting your long ears this way and that to listen in for any predators or creeping fox men that might try to break your little neck in their vulpine jaws. You never expected the teeth to come from the ground you placed your foot on. A snap of metal. A bone crack. You're bitten by something cold and terrible, and it chains you to the ground. Terrible pain eats your leg as blood, crimson among the snow and rocks, begins to drip down your fur.

You panic. Such is your nature. You thrash and struggle while the metal trap digs deeper into your leg. The safety of daylight begins to fade as exhaustion and fear begin to take hold, and then you see them. Their glinting eyes, their sharp ears narrowed, their fur white and strangely marked with colorful swirls on their underside, their claws scraping over the ground as they come closer and closer.

You cry it in your terror—you could always run before. They talk low and soft to you, one anxiously coaxing you to stop moving, to stop hurting yourself, but you tug and struggle in your wild franticness. The teeth keep biting your leg—you flounder before a set of arms catches you, pinning you down with strange gold and red fur on his chest that warms your deathly chilled body. You scream but another set of hands holds down your caught leg—this one with deep blue and silver swirls in the fur on his chest. You dissolve in the horror of the end that will come from too many jaws—

A musical steel note plays when he breaks the chain in half with his raw strength. You keep thrashing, struggling to get away, but the fox men are too strong, and the one holding you keeps asking you to stop being frightened—they only want to help. The other digs his dark claws into the metal trap and pries it apart as the other drags you out of reach of the contraption maw, and you cry from the pain of it all.

The two begin yipping and fussing. When they press their hands to the bleeding bite mark on your leg, the anguish overwhelms you until all you see is white, then nothing.

They become frantic at your slumped form and all the blood on your silky white fur. Sun takes to your wound and Moon takes you in his arms, and keeping pressure on the strange bite, they carry you back to their den. There, you'll be safe and warm, and there, they can help you with your broken leg.

Hopefully, you won't keep screaming when you wake up. (You will.)

#Of Fox Maws #fox!sun #fox!moon #hare!reader #apex polarity #<<< branching off from that #i love the furry mythical creatures and the boys being very dangerous but also a little misunderstood because ~foxes~#and you aren't exactly peachy with everything #but hey that broken leg isn't letting you go anywhere anytime soon (though you'll try)#(and they will not be happy to find your sorry carcass out in the snow as you try to limp away)#they boys are mischievous and predatory but in a fun cute way not real way #naff writing

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floccinaucinihilipilificationa · 1 year

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Hello may 31th anon! Look at that, another year behind us and a new one to come. Have a nice day! ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡

#may 31th anon #hello friends!! (｡’▽’｡)♡ how are you!! I missed you so much!#I'm sorry that once again i have not been posting but I did that thing again where I got scared of posting #I do not know why but it is the same with physical paper diarys #I have 3 diarys and they all have 1 entry #I think one just says 'I am ten'#what have you been up to!! did you do something fun? is it summer too where you live? c:#my tumblr messages seem to be broken! I'm sorry if you wrote something :C it just says 'no new messages' despite also saying new messages #not a lot has happened here! I got a tomato plant and then I got very invested into the tomato plant and I have eaten three tomatos so far (#my roses are also doing well!! I just got a new yellow rose and since she got here she only made orange flowers #I do not know the meaning of that #but I am very thankful! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡ I love it when things are orange!!#I've been trying to buy an orange shirt for the past 2 weeks but they always sell out before I get to them #I'm also thinking about buying a jean jacket #I have not worn a jean jacket for at least 15 years because one time in 7th grade tthe girl behind me said #that I was wearing a cool jean jacket and I just assumed that this was bullying for no actual reason #but maybe she just thought that it was an acutal cool jean jacket #we'll soon have out 10 year school reunion #maybe I should ask her #is anyone else going to a secret Sherlock phase again #I just want to see that silly little hat again #would sherlock holmes wear a jean jacket #have a nice day everyone!!#see you soon hopefully!!#♡＾▽＾♡

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jamieedlund · 2 months

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March sketch dump 🧙‍♂️✨

#the dragon prince #aaravos #my art #callum #tdp #doodle #callum: when you're a simp for your master but you're also so pretty that you can literally start wars.#I got sick again #so besides slaving away on my thesis #all I had were more brainrot doodles #all of these are glued from different brainrots #I don't think I have the energy for fully rendered illustrations any time soon #but I'll do my best!#I want to post more w/out worrying about the notes #i know i sound like a broken record #but it's pretty discouraging seeing my notes on tumblr lately #hopefully these shows that I love them both very much despite not posting as often 💗#I'm on the last stretch of my thesis so all of my rendering effort is going to that instead.#hopefully I will finish soon in around june #that's all for now!#rambling in tags feels nice.#I hope everyone is well!#thank you for reading

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stardestroyer81 · 1 month

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Can I offer you a nice transfem sheep in this tryin' time? 💙🏳️‍⚧️✨

#⭐ Star's Art ⭐#Micah Vandenburg #Sheep Fursona #Fursona #Furry #Chibi #Cutecore #Kawaiicore #Trans Women #Transgender #Coolness #I had to write the image description for this drawing FROM SCRATCH three times thanks to tumblr's incompetence.#With that brief vent out of the way... behold! W O M E N ! ! ! ! !#It's been some time since I've drawn the 'chibi version' of my main fursona so I thought I'd indulge...#... in a style similar to Namco's trademark 'broken line' artstyle no less!#It's not 100% accurate (More so inspired) as I don't have a rectangle brush but I still quite love it for what it is #Plus I'm fairly certain this is the first time tumblr gets to see my fursona's usual outfit...#... which is interestingly based off of a very real outfit I've worn out and about before! Bi heart necklace and all!#I A C T U A L L Y drew this for a super secret surprise coming up very soon...#... so if you'd like to know what I drew this for specifically... stay tuned 👀#Anyways like this post to boop my snoot and reblog to give me a nice big hug 💖✨

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starlightvld · 29 days

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A rough sketch of Simon's face stares back at him, and a wounded noise slips past his lips as he runs a thumb over the jawline he never could quite replicate to his satisfaction. He doesn't have the energy to be embarrassed, though, as he stares at the crude rendering for far longer than he should with his sister sitting beside him.

The next page is almost worse: notes on the mission just prior to Makarov's jailbreak and a few scribbles of Price's beard in the corner. A huff from Fi catches his attention, and he turns to find her staring at the doodles.

"It should look ridiculous on him," she says.

"Aye, but he p... p... pulls it off s-somehow."

"A mystery fer the ages."

John snorts, which leads into an explosive exhale as he turns the page to find more notes. Memories bombard him from all sides. He can feel the walls closing in as he stares at the page and mourns all he's lost.

All he'll never have or be again.

- Broken Bones and Shattered Hearts, Chapter 11, Art by the amazing @kibagib

#john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #COD #Call of Duty #COD MW reboot #OG Starlight #broken bones and shattered hearts #technically a sneak peek but the chapter will be up very soon!#I swear I know how to write something other than angst.😅#ALSO LOOK AT ALL THESE DETAILS!#THE JOURNAL #THE MASK!!!!#KIBA you're AMAZING and I love it SO MUCH!!!

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deus-ex-mona · 2 months

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anyways, in honour of 1 year of honeypre (rip) eos, what were your top stats like at the end of the game? i’ll go first~~~

#(look at my pfcs boi)#still miss this stupid game (broken record) it was the one rhythm game i was actually good at lmao #i still think my funniest moment in retrospect was fcing taketori pt 2 with the help of anxiety attack jitters lmaoo #i miss the coloured mvs though. those were fun. and minami’s horrendous guerilla live dances lmfao #can’t believe i was so busy saying goodbye to honeypre that i forgor to set up my sif1 transfer code lmfaooooooo #rip to my very first sif1 account; august 2014-march 2023 #rip to my taisho honk ur </3 and my horoscope birthday ur honk </33 and all my ikemen honk srs auuuu #at least sif2 was terminal from the start so the pain isn’t as bad ig. but still. my taisho honk!!!!!!!!!! my 2-3 jellyfish yohanes!!!!#(note that when i say ‘lmfao’ here im actually doing so through tears s o b s)#ah well. come back soon honeypre (pls) you haven’t had the chance to capitalise on kawaikute gomen yet (hint hint)#wait come to think of it chapter 3 of the chizuutan manga is supposedly going up on this other site tomorrow. free preview time~~~~~~#i hope chizuutan throws down with pharmacy boy it’d be fun #just honeypre things

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astarlightmonbebe · 9 months

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episode 5 has left me considering the different - and similar - ways taeyoung and kwonsook think about themselves, and how they respond to pain/violence.

kwonsook calls herself a monster, someone who goes crazy in the boxing ring. that monster, she says, was created by her father, and her father used abuse, violence, and emotional manipulation to create that monster. he didn’t treat her like human, so it’s no surprise that the way she talks about herself when she boxes is as if she’s discussing an animal: she gets cornered, gets scared for her life, and lashes out to kill. she calls herself a monster with resignation; it’s not what she wanted to be, but she knows it’s what she was. she ran away to escape that monstrosity, to live as a human, doing good things, but that part of her never really died.

taeyoung, too, calls himself a monster. he’s a SOB, he does thing no one with an ounce of humanity would do. he seemingly has no qualms about what he does, perhaps because he can always justify it to himself, always has an exit prepared for when things really get bad (until, i’m sure, he doesn’t). like kwonsook, taeyoung accepts the label of monster, accepts his own inhumanity, even if they are inhuman in very different ways. whereas kwonsook wants to break away from that monstrous part of her - she’s only returned so she can free herself from that part of herself permanently (and if she finds a way to box without a monster, then...) - taeyoung embraces it. it’s through being a monster that he’s found success, how he secures futures for his athletes, and how he’s able to ‘solve’ their (and his) issues. monstrosity was not imposed on taeyoung, but (due to what we know so far) is something he chose for himself (although the factors surrounding this part of his past are decidedly murky).

in this episode, taeyoung and kwonsook also demonstrate similar responses to violence and (emotional) pain. when taeyoung upsets kwonsook by working with her father behind her back, he offers her an outlet for her anger by punching him. later on, after ahreum has already slapped kwonsook, instead of lashing out, kwonsook offers to let ahreum hit her again if it will make her feel better. in parallel responses, both ahreum and kwonsook debate taking that opportunity to hurt, but decide not to (kwonsook because she’s taking a chance on taeyoung, or moreso giving him another one, and ahreum because she decides that she doesn’t owe kwonsook that, that kwonsook is beneath her in terms of boxing, no longer on her level).

kwonsook learned to respond to pain at a young age. in boxing, you can’t flinch from the hit - you have to learn how to take the pain, absorb it, and get back up to hit again. outside of the rink, kwonsook absorbs the pain, but she doesn’t hit again. she’s experienced firsthand what her hits can do to people, and that terrified her. after all, she only boxed so that she could protect her mother. so when confronted with violence and pain, she takes the hit, because pain is what she knows and understands. it’s the emotions behind it that are hard for her. pain is easy for kwonsook, because she’s used to living through it, surviving it; beneath it, she’s always empty. she’s never really cared about boxing; it was what she had to do. the lee kwonsook that was a boxing genius was a monster she ran from, after all. but in order to break away from that monster, she has to come to understand the emotional investment of her fellow female boxers. before, they were just her opponents, never her friends, but now she has to face their own feelings about the sport, the passion they have for boxing that she never felt. like ara said, she didn’t feel happiness about winning, and kwonsook has never lost, so she’s never had to live with that humiliation, either. how her feelings will change in relation to boxing will likely be a reckoning for her.

taeyoung, on the other hand, is confronting his fair share of non-boxing sanctioned boxing. even though kwonsook is the boxer, it’s taeyoung who’s been touched by ‘true’ violence in this present timeline. his life is quite literally on the line, which has been shown again and again. he’s been ambushed by her father, threatened, blackmailed, and beaten up by chairman nam’s guys. he lives on the edge, anxious at every shadow, which is chewing him alive. to him, kwonsook’s anger is much easier to deal with. he knows she might hurt him, but his potential to hurt her is so much more (and if he does, in that case he’d find her anger justified, and probably let her beat him to death or something if what we’ve seen of his feelings for her is an indication of anything), and she might hurt him, but she’d never hurt him as much as other people in his life at the moment would (i.e. by killing him, or hurting the people he cares about). taeyoung is used to weathering the storm of other people’s dislike; he’s the scumbag, and he does bad things, deserves other people’s anger when it’s directed at him.

both taeyoung and kwonsook want to resolve things through violence. i think it’s telling that despite being two emotionally aware people, they both consider other people’s feelings to be so easily taken care of. they want the quick, instant pain, and then they want to get it over with. because the violence is what they’re used to, and to a degree it’s what they both think they deserve. however, what lies beneath that, what doesn’t go away with a single hit, is much harder for them to confront and understand.

#star stumbles #my lovely boxer #kdrama #my thoughts #in boxing you get hit and you hit someone else and whoever is still standing wins #and it's basically that way in the whole world of (physical) sports #and it's going to be so so good when they both end up embroiled in the very emotional situation that they both want to avoid at all costs #ie their feelings for each other / betrayal / broken trust / fear #i think i ended this poorly i kind of got distracted and honestly...honestly i don't KNOW what their response to violence really says #or how it's going to be played with throughout the drama #this text is the bare bones of what i can understand through what i've seen #and oh yes even though i know some people might argue that they're not emotionally aware i think they are...#both very emotionally mature. despite their actions they both know what's up in their hearts #and they're very adept at reading one another (or at least taeyoung is towards kwonsook i think she's getting there but she's also trying to #distance herself from him so. i do think she's ignoring some of what she'll probably reinterpret later on #nobody made taeyoung a monster he chose that path vs kwonsook left the path as soon as she was able to #and her getting punished for his bad deeds...even though at the end she admits they're both scumbags for going through with this deal #because she's understood that she'll hurt boxing whether good things come out of it or not #because she'll be disrespecting ahreum and everyone else by rigging the match and losing on purpose #which will probably add to her conflict later on #and taeyoung simultaneously struggles with not wanting to string her along vs stringing her along #because he's been upfront with her about how he's a bad person and she sees it too but ALSO #he can't bring himself to tell her some of the worst things because he wants her to see him differently #like he wants to act like a good person for her but also knows he needs her #honestly their relationship dynamic reminds me so much of my liberation notes #it's the ahjussi / disenchanted two people approaching each other and something ending up growing there where they thought nothing would #again

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everybodyshusband · 10 months

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10k+ words of raindrop daddy kink, cumming soon to an ao3 near you

#please help. this fic has broken me /pos O_O #also. “soon” is a very loose term...#husband rambles

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toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account · 3 months

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havent watched the pjo series & not really sure i want to but when season 2 happens i will be watching the tag like this to watch how they depict my sweet baby boy tyson and hope they don't fuck it up

#sea of monsters (2013) we are FUCKING enemies #where is his broken language. where is it. what did you do to it.#my mom reasoned it as 'well if annabeth hated him while he talked like that the audience would HATE her'#as if it's not revealed HALFWAY THROUGH THE FILM that she's prejudiced against him bc a cyclops killed talia #and she's WRONG for it! it's a PROBLEM and it shouldn't be softened by taking away a VERY SIGNIFICANT CHARACTER TRAIT from tyson #(if that's even the case which. i don't even think it was.)#like. unless they get angry and storm out the audience of the film would have soon realized *why she doesn't like him*#and that it *explains* why she hates cyclops but doesn't justify it. it's. it's quite literally The Point #i watched it again today with my mom & the salt has just been rejuvenated tbh #anyway #mine #pjo series #pjo spoilers #in the tags

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zebrafiz · 2 years

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MORE hot monster girls want to talk to you! don’t miss out!

#mysims #blood tw #tw blood #saurry for all the blood as u can see i downloaded some cc today .#anyway today we haveeee a very vicious vampire! a broken doll who's been thrown away and doesnt understand why but will soon seek revenge!#a serial killer who idolizes michael myers and loves blood a little too much (think That One Character in some horror mangas who gets wayyy #too into blood)!#and lastly an oni!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#the oni is my fav #ts4 #sims 4 #the sims #ts4 screenshots #*portraits #sims 4 cas #ts4 cas #simblr #sim portraits #gore

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goldeneyedgirl · 5 months

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TwiFicmas23 Day 7: ATBT (all the truth that's in me)

Good evening! Tonight I've got All These Broken Things, with a brand new portion from the second draft. I'm really excited about how this fits into the fic because it really sets up the 'healing' character arc and the part it replaces wasn't nearly as interesting or character-driven.

I hope everyone is well and having a nice holiday period, whatever that looks like.

all the truth that's in me.

five years post-breaking dawn.

The notes start showing up late spring, in dirty and crumpled envelopes with the address written in unsteady letters. There is no pattern to their arrival - three might arrive one week, and then it might be months until another appears. All of them are addressed to him, and they have no return address with postmarks from all over the country. Several of them arrive postage-due, and it’s all very strange, but no one says anything.

They know who they’re from, and so does he.

And it’s always a postcard-sized page torn from a sketchbook with a simple pencil drawing. No letters or signature. Just the drawing.

(He’s not sure what they are supposed to mean, at first - a cloudy night sky framed in treetops; hand prints sunk into the mud. His face sketched smiling warmly at something off the page. They are oddly unsettling, and he’s not sure what to make of them, or why she’s sending them. But he keeps them in his desk drawer, away from prying eyes.)

They keep coming. A dead body with the neck snapped. Blood on thin hands. Jumping into the river and being dragged by the current. A dress that doesn’t quite fit. All sketched out, devoid of colour, but so vivid and detailed that it doesn’t matter. He can see it all as if it’s a still photograph; she’s talented even beyond the skills of a vampire.

But he doesn’t know what Alice is trying to tell him. Is she showing him where she’s going? What she’s doing? It’s all disjointed and strange and he wishes he could ask her.

(He doesn't care if she's stopped hunting animals. It's not going to shock or disgust him if she has. He hopes she knows that.)

The pile of pages keeps on growing and it takes more than a dozen for him to realise Alice never draws herself. He sees her hands and feet, but there are no drawings of her face. No real reassurance in the images that she’s okay.

It still doesn’t feel like the reason she’s sending them.

(The rest of the family want to know exactly what she’s sending him, but they know better than to ask. Perhaps they are imagining short letters full of pleasantries that at least makes him feel confident in her path forward. Or marks on a map so that he knows where to find her. Both things that he would prefer so at least he knows that she’s not out there miserable and suffering - which is what he assumes is the truth. She never asked them for help before.)

He doesn’t understand.

The next four arrive in a row, one after the other from Tuesday to Friday.

The first one is of a diner. People hunched over soup bowls and coffee, the checkerboard floors, the waitresses doling out coffee.

He doesn’t recognize the place until the second card and it’s like being thrown back in time, into his most shameful memory. He knows that diner, he remembers that night and what he did there. It weighs as heavily on him as a lot of the things he did in the South.

He feels sick looking at the drawing, at the rendering of his rain-soaked self walking through the door. He doesn’t need another card, he wants to tear this one up. He hates it, hates the fact that Alice saw this, hates the fact that she found a red pencil just for his eyes. And he hates that the next card that he gets will show him exactly what he’s capable of, damning evidence of one of the most terrible things he’s ever done. A page scrawled over in red, letting him know that she knows his past, knows what kind of man he chose to be.

The shame is stifling, and it takes hours for him to calm down enough to venture out of his study. He’s confused and oddly hurt that she felt the need to send him this, even as the calmer, more rational voice in his head reminds him that she is most likely still upset and hurt by him and his actions in Forks. That if lashing out with the truth, with his truth, hurts so badly then that is his fault for being such a monster in the first place.

Esme notices how unsettled he is, but she doesn’t ask. Of the whole family, she and Jasper are the two who took Alice’s departure the hardest. The rest of the family were confused and hurt - but Carlisle was very much the kind of person who believed that the door was always open to Alice as a daughter, a sister, or as a friend, and that sometimes paths divert. Rosalie and Edward saw it as a betrayal, that Alice had rejected their offering of family, and weren’t interested or invested in her return. Emmett just shrugged and said that he hoped she was doing better. And Bella just admitted that Alice had scared her when she was a human because of everything that happened with James.

He doesn’t want to talk to Esme about the drawings. Alice addressed them to him and to him alone. And he’s still not sure what the message is, beyond the diner. He doesn’t want Esme speculating, inspecting them for clues. They’re his, and his alone, to riddle out for a reason.

It’s less than a day before the next one arrives, and he practically snatches it from Esme’s hand, tension in every movement - obvious enough that Rosalie gives him a funny look but he doesn’t want to explain.

He sits in his study with the door locked, and it still takes time to convince himself to open it, to see her beautiful rendering of the diner awash in the blood of twelve innocent people. A place he set fire to as soon as he could stand. It had been in all the papers, the gas-line explosion in Philadelphia that killed everyone inside.

Jasper never returned to that city, and has refused to live there ever since.

He finally opens the envelope and flips over the paper.

It’s not…

It’s wrong. It’s not what happened.

The page she has sent has him sitting in the window of the diner, across from her; the angle is such that her hands are reaching out to him, wearing gloves with tiny buttons. The closest thing he has to a drawing of her face is her fuzzy reflection in the rain-flecked glass.

The look on his face in the drawing is unfamiliar. It’s suspicious and incredulous but so very tired. He’s forgotten how gaunt he looked in those days, the strain of everything written across his face.

(He understands even less than he did before, but if she means it as some kind of comfort to him, he appreciates the clumsy attempt. He murdered twelve people that night, a hysterical panic attack that was over in less than twenty seconds, and left him shaking in the corner of the diner. Ten minutes after he walked in, the building was on fire, and he was half a city away.)

It still feels like he’s missing something about all of the cards. He could ask the others, but he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want his siblings to look at him like he’s crazy or a fool, and explain them so simply and obviously. He couldn’t stand it if they understood immediately and he hadn’t, when she entrusted them to him.

And then the next one arrives, and he’s absolutely bewildered. No faces, just bodies, his hand hiking up her skirt with her legs wrapped around him, pressed against dark brickwork of an alley. Even with only a fragment of the scene, it’s abundantly obvious that this is what happened after the diner and he’s oddly ashamed that this version of him that she’s made up didn’t have the grace to get a room for the night. But he’s also the one that was fucking her in the woods, so maybe he’s a hypocrite.

He’s also oddly relieved to see the return of the red pencil in the trim of her shift, and nothing else.

And that’s it for months. No more grubby envelopes with his name written neater every single time. No more postmarks darting all over the country. No more picture-riddles that he doesn’t understand. And somehow, that makes it worse. He spreads them out on the floor of his study once, in order, and tries to figure them out. There are exactly forty-eight of them, and he wonders if that’s a coincidence.

Emmett brings him the next one, nearly six months later. Marked from Washington State, and Jasper wonders with horror if she tried to go home again and they weren’t there. But it’s been years, surely… no, surely she was just passing through. She knows they aren’t there, because she sends mail to him. Just a coincidence.

There’s more than one in the envelope this time. And they’ve all been destroyed; scrunched up and torn and scribbled through. It takes him over an hour to piece together what she’s sent, to try and erase the angry lines bisecting the drawing without erasing something important.

And they’re beautiful. Vaguer and looser than the drawings before, scattered scenes across four pages of them. Her face is always obscured but the way she stands next to him, the way she’s portrayed beside him - always close, always touching - is so different to what he expected. It’s a kind of gentleness he never thought himself capable of.

Before all of this, when he considered marriage, he figured he’d be exactly as he would have been as a human husband - polite, respectful, and protective. That he was incapable of that easy back-and-forth that Esme and Carlisle shared; or that relaxed affection and camaraderie of Rosalie and Emmett. Or even the absolute devotion that Bella and Edward held together. That invisible way anyone who walked into a room could tell that they were together and in love. No, he wouldn’t have that. If there was any hope for a partner for him, they would have to accept separate rooms and that polite but firm distance between them. He would take care of them to his full ability, but that kind of intimacy would never be part of any of his relationships. He accepted that a long time ago.

And now he’s seeing that Alice, at least, believes he is capable of more. He sees that in the lines of his illustrated self, the way his body leans towards her and her to him. Touching her cheek, clasping her hand tightly, hands lacing or buttoning up a dress along a bony spine. The kind of affection and gentleness that feels alien to him, and he is bewildered and oddly frustrated and angry that Alice has imposed this possibility onto him. She’s delusional if this is what she hopes for, what she expects from him. She’s destined to be disappointed if that’s the kind of thing she wants specifically from him.

Those postcards get tossed in the drawer out of order from the others, and his mood is foul for days. He’d rather she’d sent him a portrait of his kills than this fantasy.

He ignores the next two envelopes on his desk for two weeks before he opens them. The first one he wants to burn, because it’s just him again, facing her with a totally foreign expression on his face. His own face looks like a stranger to him in that picture.

But the second one…

It’s identical to the very first one she ever sent. The night sky framed in trees. Perhaps they’ve reached the end of her fairy tale, and he can be left in peace.

The next ones take weeks to arrive, one every three days, and he’s not really sure why she’s still sending them until he opens the first one up and recoils.

James’ face fills the frame, his smile too wide, and his eyes cold. The red pencil has returned in his irises, in the corners of his mouth, and a swipe at his hairline. In all the careful renderings of his own face, Jasper had wondered if Alice was even capable of drawing the violent, monstrous truth in people. But now… the pencil has dug into the paper, and some of the lines are unsteady. There is terror and hate in every stroke, and James in that picture is the most terrible thing that can be conceived.

The rest of them are abstract, with no faces or details, but it doesn’t take much to decipher the violence and fear and misery in each one.

In the spirals within the internals of her severed wrist, the petrified flesh and muscle rippled like the rings in the stump of a tree.

In the portrait of rats, of squirrels, of scavenged meals so beneath her nature that he can see the shame in each line. In a collection of lines that he doesn’t do more than glimpse at, but the meaning and intent and occurrence are already burnt into his mind.

This is how he tortured me, degraded me, raped me. He can hear her say it, in her soft, flat voice.

And he wonders, again, why he is being shown this. Why she has gone to so much trouble, to draw and send him each page like this.

The final one arrives in spring, more than three years after they started. They’ve stopped being a curiosity in the house; Esme very occasionally asks him how Alice is, and he’s noncommittal because he truly has no idea. He knows nothing more than when they started, honestly.

There are over one hundred of them now, bound together in his desk, and he’s given up trying to understand Alice’s motive in sending them and is just compiling them for her. They are some kind of diary, and he is merely the archivist. He can do that. It makes them easier to handle, in many ways.

He doesn’t even realise the last one is the end, honestly. He’s become numb to the horror of the most recent ones, looking at them briefly before adding them to the stack - in order, of course. The previous one had them running in the forest - the red of their eyes and of Victoria’s hair bright and eye-catching amongst the black of the pencil. The drawings have gotten looser, lazier, and he wonders if she’s losing interest in the project.

The last one slides out of the envelope, and… it’s him. It’s him, in beautiful detail, the baseball bat mid-spin in his hand. He’s grinning at someone off-page, and she’s found a golden pencil for his eyes. There’s the gesture of Bella and Esme behind him, but he is the focus - soft and realistic and rendered so very carefully, right down to the scar next to his right eye.

And in the bottom left corner, in tiny letters, there is a heart with ‘Alice’ carefully signed. That’s how he knows she’s done. And that’s how he knows that it’s taken him too long to understand and that he needs… he needs someone else to look at what she’s given him and explain to him how he’s supposed to put this all together.

#alice cullen #jasper hale #jalice #the twilight saga #twilight fic #ficmas #ficmas23 #my fic: all these broken things #when jasper realises they're going to have to hold him back from finding her #alice spending hours drawing jasper just the way she sees him in her head #and ending up in tears drawing all the good times they were supposed to have after the diner #as soon as stl is complete atbt gets posted i'm very excited

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stewyhosseini-bf · 1 year

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I‘ve said it before and I‘ll say it again. People who dislike Kendall lose all sense of nuance and critical thinking skills and understanding of complex/conflicting character motivations once he does literally anything other than just sit on the floor crying

#in a very real and fucked up way I have to think about Naomi saying he loves the broken you . as soon as he doesn’t behave completely #passive and broken Logan can’t stand him and some of you are the same way lol.#Kendall Roy

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batz · 11 months

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#frank.txt #also shit is FUCKED rn . im so STRESSED #my landlord had a landlord moment so we're moving. also this place is getting unbearable #we live near freedom convoy folks and ive been called all sorts of slurs just trying to walk to 7/11 so . idk #maybe the next place will at least have homophobes that aren't as shouty and angry n shit bc GOD. GOD #that one guy that followed me halfway home just yelling slurs like yeah maybe moving out is a blessing in disguise #also this house haa no insulation which is awful in summer and winter #the next place we're going to is more expensive unfortunately but like. its insulated. doesnt have squirrels in the attic. or asbestos.#so uhm yayyy #its in a very secluded farmland area. tbh maybe thats what i need rn bc my physical and mental health arent super sturdy rn #physically feeling a bit bettr tho! just having bubble baths about it <3 #i only post now on my priv twit @dykefiend rn #once things are settled ill go back to posting art .#bc i RLLY want to draw my own stuff soon i just gotta work on commissions wnd then start PACKING #genuinely almost cried last night thinking abt how i'll probably be able to see stars at night again #its the outskirts of the city in a rural area. super rundown broken down house but gorgeous yard. all u can hear is wind ans birds #no sirens or yelling or cars!

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talentforlying · 7 months

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@thicketville: meta: did john ever want to go to college? what would he have studied if he did? if not, did he ever want any sort of higher education, like a vocational degree or apprenticeship? — META TOPICS.

i think college was always a very distant concept for him growing up: more 'something that happens to posh people in the big cities' than a potential career path. john's father was a dock worker before losing his arm and most of their relatives did labor-intensive jobs in and around either the coal mines or the docks, so for anyone who actually thought john had a future — which was very few people, if anyone — it was sort of expected that he'd wind up in the same realm of work. they could never hope to afford college, so cheryl wouldn't have brought it up to him as a possibility, because john was a dreamer of a kid and would've gotten himself in trouble with their father if he insisted on pursuing it.

honestly, john's childhood was lived one day at a time, and nobody really thought he was going to survive past the teenage years (least of all john), so he really never considered a future for himself at all, other than "one day i'll get out of here". and even that felt like a pipe dream before he discovered magic. these days, i don't think he spends time considering what might have been anymore, because the past is the past and it eats him alive already without him helping it along, but in a perfect, perfect world, i think he would've loved college, and maybe gone into creative writing.

#thicketville #i'm so very normal about constantine's childhood i swear :')#the fact that the issue 'dead boy's heart' that shows us his childhood is talking about both the story content And john....#he was a dead boy from the second he was born. expected to die early or be in trouble forever. nobody caring which one it ended up being #but he had SUCH a big heart and SUCH an active imagination!! he was SO smart and well-meaning and compassionate!!#he was always making up stories and play-acting and reading and inventing new worlds to put himself in! he SO would have been a writer!!#but everyone told him he was dark. told him he was nothing. told him he was broken. and he started to believe it and become it #god i just think all the time about how everybody looked at him as a kid and went 'don't worry dear the world will break you soon enough'#and Nobody thought to try and protect him from that. ends me #( headcanons. ) I'M JUST LIKE THE BASTARDS I'VE HATED ALL ME LIFE.#( answered. ) THIS IS JOHN CONSTANTINE. FUCK OFF.

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softnasty · 1 year

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is #wipwednesday a thing on tumblr…? used to do it semi-regularly on twitter when i was in mdzs fandom but it's been soooo long now. anyway. bit of rebelcaptain that i already shared in the discord 👀 politics au fun vibes lessssgo

When Jyn defects and goes to be Gerrera's campaign manager, the second thing Cassian does — after asking Kay how the fuck that's even happening, with the ironclad NDAs and non-compete clauses that they all have, right, no special treatment? — is realizing how this means that Jyn unilaterally put an end to their thrice honored tradition of hooking up at the yearly Alliance Intergalactic Conference. The third thing he does is asking Kay to review the fine print again — it doesn't fly well: Kay asks him if he's doubting his legal skills and flings his law school diploma at him, frame and all, when Cassian dares to say that he took two law classes back in college so like, maybe he could have a look as well to make sure?

[more under the cut!]

He doesn't even mention that he only took Intro to Business Law and Intro to Media Law like, almost ten years ago at this point. Figures that probably wouldn't help his case after the diploma flinging and Kay shutting the door to his office right in his face. Cassian doesn't do anything else after that. Sits on his hands and waits for the shitstorm to inevitably hit.

It's 7:30am in Coruscant. He's had five hours of sleep (generous, his running average for the month is around four point five), two coffees (one iced, one hot — decadent and self-indulgent, for no reason at all) and a diploma thrown at his face (painful and honestly irresponsible as the unofficial poster boy of Mothma's campaign — Kay should know better). He's had worse mornings. Better ones, too, when Jyn was still by his side, sitting at the desk across from his instead of parsecs away after throwing away a job she'd held for nearly five years and whatever fraught relationship she'd had with Cassian.

It's fine. Cassian needs to make it to 8am to pull the first opinion polls number on this shitshow and prep Mothma for the press. Then he needs to make it to 8:35am when she'll go on live television and announce whoever the fuck as new campaign manager. Then—

Kay opens the door to his office again.

"Did Jyn mention any of this to you?"

Cassian gives him a look. Searches for something he could throw at him. The heaviest thing on his desk is his laptop and he really needs that.

"What the fuck do you think? What kind of relationship do you think we have, Kay?"

He flings a balled-up sheet of paper at Kay and misses. Kay closes the door to his office again.

7:32am. Yeah. Cassian's had better mornings for sure.

#rebelcaptain #fic i wrote #more to come VERY soon because i have like 1k of this already and a semi-functional ~plot with an ensemble cast of r1+andor characters #the author miss softnasty returns to her favorite genre: sex comedies #wip wednesday #(ik it's thurs morning shhhhh)#rogue one fic #idk what to tag help #make no plans and none can be broken

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