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uh-oh-its-bird · 22 days

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There are so many naruto time travel fics out there but what I need SPECIFICALLY is an ANBU era team of Kakashi, Tenzo, Itachi, and Shisui getting flung into the founders era.

Like. Ok just looking from the political side of it that's;

A) 2 very young and VERY powerful Uchiha's (one of which is the future clan head!! Politics!!)

B) A very fucked up baby mokuton user who's still in the middle of being deprogrammed and can totally pass for Senju

C) The free wild card that is Hatake clan lore on top of having a stolen sharingan. On top of *that* him being the team leader of a team of kids who, in the time period context, should both be at eachothers throats and probably not be expected to obey the commands of someone not only from another clan but a way smaller one

Theres SO much potential there!! So many political implications in virtually ALL of the directions!!!!

Yk what as I'm typing this out I'm having ✨️ideas✨️ so let's make some story points to sort those out:

• I think itd be neat to have this happen like. A year? Ish? Before the massacre? So age wise, and full disclaimer I'm referencing Google and Wikipedia rn so I could totally be wrong, I think that's :

Kakashi (18)

Tenzo (17)

Itachi (12)

Shisui (15)

Could be wrong about the ages but honestly it's my world you're just living in it, so.

Then me going totally purely off of my own headcannons, were going to say they came in a about a year before Izuna died and place the founders ages as:

Madara (23)

Hashirama (23)

Izuna (19)

Tobirama (18)

Big fan of Tobirama being the youngest between the 4 but projecting the aura of someone as old as like. Idk, however old Madara is. Very funny to me, 10/10

• I'm personally a big fan of dogteeth kakashi so we're running with that all the way home. Also a huge fan of the "Hatake's are a distant, more feral cousin of Inuzuka clan" hc along with some sprinklings of "back in the day they had a bit of a Reputation(tm) for being a 'lill wild, and everyone generally tries to avoid them. Which isn't too much of a problem because theyre a very small out of the way clan from Iron, they just have a big reputation in contrast to their size.

In more modern times tho, along with (obviously) having dwindled down to a single depressed teenager, they've become a lot tamer over the years due to village life. Kakashi is a Hatake, 100%, but he is NOT up to the standards of this time. Which becomes a bit funny when people see him, go "oh FUCK it's a Hatake" and then start edging slowly towards the door like he's about to rip their throat out with his teeth. Meanwhile he's standing there like 🧍‍♂️"am I that ugly."

Give me a scene where, finally used to this reaction to him from the general shinobi population, the team starts to use it to their advantage.

"Give us the scroll or we'll let the Hatake off the leash to have his fun with you. He's been awfully hungry latley you know, hasn't had fresh meat in days"

Kakashi, feeling kind of stupid, gave his best growl.

It caused an almost immediate, embaressed flush to rise to his face, but he didn't let up. It sounded more like an almost pathetic puppy growl than anything to his ears, but apparently it was enough to convince the trembling enemy nin because he slowly lifted the scroll up in offering.

Wow. Now he couldn't tell if he was embaressed for himself or for this guy.

Probably both to be honest.

• So like. Itachi is the clan heir. That's big. That's important. Let's do something with that.

First off, I had a great time reading this one fic (tho I don't even remember what the fic itself was about now, oops) where a plot point of it was how Sasuke is just a walking stereotype of main house Uchiha. Like people look at him and they don't just go "oh that's an Uchiha." They go "oh fuck that's an UCHIHA Uchiha." He's so fucking painfully, obviously related to the very tippy top of the clan that anyone not blind can tell. It's in the way he looks, it's in the way he talks and treats those around him, it's in the way he fucking holds himself. You look at him and every other stereotype about the Uchiha clan is there in big, bold letters. (On top of that he's also a dead wringer for Izuna, which I'm such a sucker for and desperatley wish people would do more with)

So like let's give that to Itachi here because it's so fun for several reasons.

First off; Sasuke in this is like. Straight up a doppelganger of Izuna, just a few generations apart. They could be twins. Itachi, as I'm sure you are aware, is Sasuke's big brother. So let's take some liberties and say that Itachi could absoloutley pass as a blood sibling to Izuna and Madara.

He is however 12, so we're also going to say that the only people who get to make this connection is anyone who's seen the siblings when they were also at a similar age.

On top of that however he has the 'walking amalgamation of all the stereotypes of the main Uchiha house' so anyone who isn't blind will look at him and assume he's somewhere in the sphere of 'important main house person' tho who really knows how distant the relation may be exactly. No one !! That's who !!!

Second; He's the fucking clan heir!! What the fuck!! This bit would have the most impact after all the messy time travel reveals when things have settled down a bit, so it'll sit in the back pocket for a bit. Save it for some fun shaking up later down the line so we don't run out of all the fun reveals too fast and bore the readers, yk?

When it is brought up tho it'd be fun to maybe have some fucky Itachi and Madara mutual understandings of the way things work.

• So. Madara is like a bit of a scary bed time story to Uchiha children, right? Like. "Ooo make sure you don't get too obsessive or fall too deep into your grief and always stay loyal to the village or you'll end up just like Madara!!"

Something something Uchiha-Village relationships are tense as hell, something something Madara fucking over a lot of the clan with his whole. Everything., Something something scapegoat and old stories, something something 'people have probably been talking a lot more about how "god dammit this all started with Madara" in recent years.'

Now with that in mind let's take a look of what our time travelers think of Madara:

Itachi is a good Konoha soldier. Itachi (as has been very much fucking proven) would rather beat a possible problem before it even exists with a hammer till it dies an ugly bloody death than even RISK it blossoming into a proper problem. Itachi does not like Madara. Itachi personally, quietly thinks they should maybe wait till the village is formed then carefully arrange a little accident for him before he goes off the rails. He, even more quietly, maybe even thinks it would be a kindness. Allow him to be remembered well by the village instead of scorned.

Shisui I think is cautiously optimistic about him. He's the kind of guy who gives the benefit of the doubt, who weighs the options, risk and reward, but includes things like hope and compassion in his calculations. Yes, Madara was a uhh. Thing. That happened. But in every story his big blow up always come from one specific event; Izuna's death. So if they stop that from happening, wouldn't it secure both a better future for them and Madara? The history books never went into detail about Izuna, he doesn't know what he's like, but maybe his involvement in the future, on Konoha's side, could lead to even more profits for them long term. At the end of the day he's not against killing Madara (though to be clear, they are at first operating on trying to avoid all interactions with historical events and return home without touching things) but it'd be nice, to manage to get a happy ending for everyone. Unrealistic maybe, but nice.

Mmmm hear me out actually, maybe Shisui, after interacting with him a bit, finds that Madara reminds him of Itachi too. They definatley both have that "I would do unspeakable things to even dream of my loved just one more time" energy, if you know what I mean

Anyways; Kakashi and Tenzo are both neutral on Madara. Yes, they learned about how he betrayed the village when young just like everyone else, but they weren't getting the bed time stories and "do this and you'll end up just like him" warnings like the Uchiha's. They're possibly leaning into negative but are detached from the situation enough to just go "well he hasn't done it yet and his brother is still alive so he won't any time soon" and be done with it

• Now, on the the total opposite side of the spectrum you have Hashirama and Tobirama. People are brought up in Konoha to fucking IDOLIZE these guys. You can not tell me our team of time travelers wouldn't be at least a little awed to speak with them.

I think Tenzo would be the most wide eyed about Hashirama, both for the baseline "holy shit that's the Shodai Hokage" and also that fun juicy mokuton user imposter syndrome he has going on for him. That guys DNA is inside his body!!! Holy shit wait does that mean if someone did a blood relation test with them he might read as being related to him?? Fuck were gonna pocket that for now but like. Mmmmm potential.

I'd say Itachi is the most hesitant about Tobirama but again, village loyalist, so.

You know what tho maybe Shisui is the most hesitant about him (though still largely positive) he both def grew up looking up to him but can also see the anti-Uchiha policies people inact now with the implications that Tobirama would have approved of it. He doesn't know if he would, but like, he has to wonder.

Kakashi is probably the most normal about them (and also has experience in being close to a hokage (Minato) to know that at the end of the day they are painfully human) Don't get me wrong, he's still in some sort of awe! He might get a little lightheaded at the thought of seeing the God of Shinobi in proper battle, or the possibility to see the famed genius of Tobirama with all the different jutsu's he's invented. You can't tell me Kakashi didn't spend a little extra time reading about him when he was trying to make Chidori. Honestly I'm gonna roll with that and say he had a bit of a phase as a kid where he was a total fan boy. Maybe sprinkle in the good old HalfHatake!Tobirama hc to add some faint daydreams a lonley babykashi had after his father's death, about getting to meet him as family. Like cmon, little genius idolizing and projecting on some big history figure only to find out they're actually related? Can you say potential?

Anyways he did eventually grow out of the phase, probably got unattached to it all and lost interest after the whole "losing everything he loved" bit of his life. And at the end of the day, he doesn't have any real complex personal hang ups on the founders like the others do. Thus, most normal.

• And then my favorite most special boy, Izuna !! He's for sure the one they're all most neutral about. He's not actually taught about in the academy? There's probably some throw away line about him in some history books somewhere, but he died young and was quickly buried by the looming shadow of Konoha. The only real knowledge had about him in modern times is just a vague "Yeah he got killed by Tobirama which lead to peace being made but also lead to Madara losing his shit"

Poor Izuna he's the linchpin for it all but was left an unremarkable footnote of history. My boy deserves so much better

Tenzo doesn't actually even know who he is, that boy got bare minimum education under Danzo and Izuna was NOT included.

Itachi and Shisui mmmaybe have some small little fun fact here or there buried in stories from the older members of the clans but like. It's gonna amount to just "yeah he had a great katon" and thats about it.

I WILL SAY HOWEVER. Itachi sees him and instantly is that one PTSD dog meme. Sasuke is a BABY but holy shit Izuna looks exactly like he'd expect him to grow up as and it's making him FEEL THINGS. Also he's so bratty little brother coded !! He's an entire 7 years older than Itachi but Ifachi keeps fucking up and trying to big brother him it's embaressing.

And ofc Itachi didn't go into the first meeting thinking he'd see some weird older mirror version of his beloved baby brother who he misses and worries about very very much. So like. There's for sure going to be some conflict there. If their first meeting is a scuffle (which it probably will be) I think Itachi would keep hesitating to attack. On full run away mode. Which is probably for the best bc he shouldn't try to fight Izuna anyways honey he's like double your bodyweight and you're strong but you aren't THAT strong.

• Pointing back at both the 'Itachi does not like Madara and has quiet thoughts about how it'd possibly be in everyone's interest to just kill him' and the 'Itachi and Madara quietly bond over being clain head/heir during stressful times (w pressure from the elders especially)

I can see 2 outcomes of a potential bonding conversation with them:

1) They come to understand eachother better.

Madara wants to be on good terms, he looks at this kid and sees one of his brothers eyes and the others quiet determination. He can tell Itachi doesn't like him for some reason, and it's frustrating because he doesn't know why. He wants him to like him. He wants to be able to offer his hand and have it taken. It hurts, to be looked at with such suspicion from a face that has traces of Izuna's.

Meanwhile Itachi . . . Itachi looks at Madara and he sees someone who gets it. Gets it like no one ever has. It scares him. He looks up at this man, this horror story he's been told to fear becoming, and he sees himself. And this realization shakes him. It makes him think, makes him wonder. He's so, so sure of his loyalty to Konoha. More sure than he is of anything else in the world. But . . . But if something happened to Sasuke, if he had to choose—

And maybe it softens something in him too, along with the (honestly healthy) dose of fear. It forms a little crack in his shell, just enough to maybe, maybe let Madara through. Just a hair.

Or 2) we pull one of those "The conversation ends with them agreeing verbally but mentally they're on 2 VERY different notes."

Madara, nodding and looking at Itachi meaningfully: "Yeah it can be hard, but all we can really do is try to make the world a safer place for the ones we love. (To create Konoha, to keep my clan safe. Izuna safe. And now to keep you safe too.)

Itachi, nodding slowly: "Yeah. No matter how hard it is (even though I think I understand you more than anyone else Ive ever met) we have to try to make the world a safer place (by killing you in your sleep once Konoha is formed) for the ones we love (My clan. My village. Sasuke.)"

• Also pointing back at the 'Hatake warring clan era reputation,' the 'Tobirama is half Hatake' and also now pointing at Tobirama's title as the White Demon. Small thing but it'd be neat if there was some small throw away line that the nickname lowkey started in part because of the absoloutley terrifying reputation of the Hatake combined with Tobirama's own Everything(tm) like it just had some influence on how some view him. Give me Uchiha's making dog jokes ab him it'll be funny

• Ok but now the actual plot thoughts. Yeah I know I kept you waiting sorry about that.

So time travel! Probably due to a mission gone wrong. Some ruins or some ancient crumbling scroll that wasn't even supposed to do fucking time travel but was so old and corroded that it somehow managed to transform into a whole other seal by pure bad luck. Or good luck I guess, considering it could have just turned into a nuke.

Our favorite team of disasters are very very alarmed !!! What the fuck !!! Obviously they don't default to thinking time travel, but they immediatley know something is wrong. The landscape has changed, though the big landmarks are still there. The mission was complete anyways with no injuries so they just retreat to Konoha. Only oops !! It's not fucking there!!!

Queue alarm.

Shisui is the first one to suggest time travel because he's quirky like that. And there's a very easy way to confirm this theory.

(Also we're going to say that Konoha's location is a valley a few miles out from the Naka River that borders the Senju / Uchiha territories.)

This is convenient because that verification method involves checking in on where Itachi and Shisui know the old Uchiha compound should rest.

They do it in full stealth mode, the second they saw Konoha was missing Kakashi as team leader decided they'd treat the land as enemy territory. They all agreed ofc, for all they knew this WAS enemy territory now.

And, ofc, yeah!! There's the old Uchiha compound!! Being active!!! There are people there!!!

"What are the odds Fugaku-sama decided to have the clan return to their homeland for ahh, cultural enrichment?" Kakashi asked weakly.

"Time travel." Was the only reply he got from Shisui, whispered reverently as the boy vibrated with excitement on the branch.

Itachi just gave him a look, radiating a level of dissaproving disbelief that no normal 12 year old should be able to make. Kakashi would know, he was that not-normal 12 year old once.

From there they decide a no interference policy. Hands off guys!! They probably debate it tho, like, a good amount. They all have ✨️opinions✨️ except maybe Tenzo who's lowkey still in the middle of trying to learn how to be a person and is following Kakashi's lead 99% of the time. Especially since they're still in mission mode and this is like a super serious discussion and he really does know the least ab the founders overall.

They probably debate the merits of going to Uzushiogakure bc seal help but it's really far and they don't actually have like, just any leverage with them. They already decided not to fuck with the future so it isn't like they can trade secrets and warnings. At least if shit happens here they have some plausible deniability, being, yk, 2 uchiha's and a senju-passing guy with Mokuton. Kakashi's kinda fucked tho in that regard but he isn't going to be doing the party ANY favors with his clan heritage.

Which means it's time to potentially get desperate enough to interact with Tobirama !!! Which will inevitably lead to them bumping into a Uchiha patrol or something!!! I don't know honestly

• Anyways want Hashirama and Tenzo to interact. He has so many issues like holy shit. Let Hashirama give him the hug he deserves. I want him to violently adopt him. New brother acquired!!!

I said before but Tenzo is still reprogramming from ROOT. Let Hashirama impact that! Let him help! They can make flower crowns and photosynthesize together idk

Hashirama would be so happy to have another mokuton user, I think they should be able to sense eachother extra strong and like 'ping' off of eachothers chakra, it'll be fun

▪︎ I'm not thinking toooo hard about power scaling and this is fanfiction so a) don't quote me on this and b) for the love of all that is holy don't take my words as gospel

But for this fic specifically I'm ranking the founders and Team Ro, weakest to strongest (in a clean, fair fight head on w no time to prepare) :

Itachi (he's fucking 12 guys. But also he is like. FRACTIONS under Tenzo and Shisui. If he were 13 I'd let him be above or at the same level but like. He's 12. Cmon.)

Tenzo - Shisui (they're like JUST under the next 2 tho like seconds behind)

Izuna - Tobirama

Kakashi ( by the skin of his fucking teeth and the advantage that is his stupid amount of jutsu's and lack of self preservation)

Madara - Hashirama

And again that's not counting like. The specific situations, time given to prepare, potential dirty tricks they could play (I think the Konoha tricks would play a fraction dirtier than the others, who are slightly more used to big open battles vs the ANBU squad who does all sorts of shit in all sorts of places) plus like. Mental state and team ups.

Tenzo or Shisui couldn't take down Izuna or Tobirama but if they teamed up I'd allow it. Kakashi would get his ass kicked by Hashirama or Madara but he could survive a minutes longer than the others would

Itachi is doing his best

But like

He's 12 guys

I love him and he is terrifyingly competent but he won't win 1 on 1 with anyone unless he has some sort of advantage. Minus Shisui and Tenzo who he does have the advantage of regularly fighting, so.

• I think they do get to go back home in the end. It takes a ton of work tho and they probably do need to get Mito's help with it, Kakashi can show them the seal they got brought here with but it's an ACTUAL one in a trillion miracle it didn't fucking atomize them. So it needs a lot of touch ups

Anyways !!!

I have a little more rattling around in my brain but I'm really tired and also starting to think about other things now so I'm gonna stop here. Might come back and add to it later so stay tuned if you're into that

Full disclaimer I'm not gonna write this. I don't have the proper energy and it'd probably end up being too ambitious of a project if I tried. I'd love to see it happen tho, so like !! Big open invitation to absoloutley anyone who might want to take even a fraction of the ideas I've listed.

@ me if you do tho I wanna see the final product

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dust-and-grave · 22 days

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hng, i am so frustrated by this whole watcher tv situation. i've been chewing on it ever since i watched their announcement video yesterday + i've been looking around online at other fan reactions. i'm having a lot of thoughts so i guess i want to throw my two cents in + hope it'll make me feel better to talk about it a little.

i think we all agree that creators should be paid fairly for their work; however, not all work is created equal, right? if i commission an experienced (and thus high-demand) artist to do an oil painting of my cat, they might quote me $500+ to do that + it would be fair. if an artist with substantially less experience (and thus in lower demand) spends 30 seconds on a crayon rendition of my cat, should they also received $500+ for their work? i think most people would agree that would be ridiculous.

in some ways, this is what it feels like the watcher team is doing to us right now, imo. we know that shows like ghost files or puppet history are expensive to make because travel costs (in the case of ghost files) + production costs, but we can see the effort put into the work. we feel that what we give for the show, whether that's turning off ad blocker while watching or buying show merch or supporting via patreon, is going toward making the product that we are asking for. these shows are the oil painting in the metaphor.

i don't agree with how mean + rude some people are being about steven lim rn, but frankly, his shows are the 30 second crayon drawing of the watcher channel. anyone can look at the view count on their channel + see that his shows consistently have performed worse than shane + ryan's shows. additionally, we can see that he blows huge amounts of money on his shows ("$913 seafood tower", "$1027 fried chicken") that may leave a lot of viewers feeling as if they're aren't getting as much bang for their buck.

frankly, i think people are valid for being upset that they're expected to directly foot the bill for steven's "i fly all over the world + eat expensive food while you watch" project. while youtube has a shit ton of problems (like, say, not paying their creators enough), one of the cool things about it is that you can gauge directly the amount of the interest in a project (and how many resources you should dedicate to said project) by how many eyes are on it. unfortunately for him (i guess), steven's shows just don't garner enough attention to justify the expense of making them.

which is why i see this shift to watcher tv as such a problem. this feels very much like using shane + ryan's success on the channel to force fans to fuel steven's pursuit of his glory days on worth it. it feels even more strange when they say that they're making the switch because the company isn't currently sustainable, but steven has just hired his friends from buzzfeed + continues to push his series that just don't seem to be making back the cost of production.

to be totally fair, shane + ryan don't get out of this clean either. some of their shows don't deserve to be behind a paywall either. too many spirits is filmed in ryan's parent's backyard with content submitted by their viewers. are you scared is just ryan reading creepypastas/fan submitted content on a minimal set. survival mode is just them playing games like any other streamer or gaming youtuber does. i love all of these shows, but are they on par with puppet history or ghost files? absolutely not.

this is where i think the disconnect is coming from. they're taking everything including the lower production shows to a streaming service where you have to fund them directly (rather than indirectly through ad revenue). they're forcing funding into steven's projects despite them just not doing well enough to justify the cost. they're coming across as disingenuous with their reasoning because their stated reasons for doing this don't align with their actions rn.

i feel like it would've made so much more sense to crowdfund new seasons of shows (which gives them feedback from the fans about what they want too) or put higher cost shows like ghost files or puppet history on patreon or channel membership. i would gladly fund mystery files, weird wonderful world, ghost files, puppet history, etc. with my own money, but i'm one of the ones who isn't really interested in funding steven's quest to eat all of the gold-plated kobe beef when i'll never be able to afford to eat at a restaurant that even serves it.

#rachel says #watcher #shane madej #ryan bergara #steven lim #also it really bothered me that they dangled weird wonderful world over our heads to convince people to use the streaming service #it regularly got more views than all of steven's shows save dish granted #but they never picked it up again despite that #it just adds to the sense of betrayal that a lot of us are feeling rn i think

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0little-miss-scare-all0 · 2 months

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General Dethklok/Managerial Headcanons :3

A/N: this may or may not be dry asf i'm writing b4 the hcs so i don't forget😭😭

this is NOT proofread

Nathan Explosion :

i think he's like 6'5

its just this weird hunch i have

definitely somewhere from 28-35

i don't make the rules man😔

obviously Native American from the whole bloodlines episode

i can't remember what it's called for the life of me😭

i don't have any other nationality hcs for him

i think the show does it well enough

has gauges idc

they probably aren't hella big, but they're there

maybe an industrial or some kind of cartilage piercing

i think his favorite song they've made is Mutilation on a Saturday Night

it makes him think of early dethklok without the prophecies and shit

favorite album is the Dethalbum

probably has a bias bc it's the first project they did (totally not projecting rn😭)

song that makes me think of him is Ugly Model Mannequin by Cane Hill

idk why, it just does

Skwisgaar Skwigelf :

he's 6'10 NO ONE can convince me otherwise

his tagline isn't "taller than a tree" for nothing man

i saw someone say that Brendon himself said Nathan and Skwisgaar are the same age, so i'm not touching on that

biggest Swede ever man

like he quite literally had the Swedish flag on his belt buckle in Doomstar Requiem

go look it up i'm not joking

but maybe his dad is from like Switzerland to make him a slight bit more interesting

i doubt that he'd have any piercings

maybe his ears but that's it

i just cant see him with anything crazy

someone mentioned an elf ear body mod for him

makes sense that fairy

that last one was uncalled for hold on😭😭

this guys favorite song is awaken

he just loves the instrumentals

the little do-do-do-do do do do do do they do

idk how to explain it just go give it a listen😭

favorite album is the Dethalbum III

i think he likes how all the songs sound similar, so it isn't hard to remember the riffs (don't mention my terminology i am the farthest thing from a guitarist😭)

song that reminds me of him is Viking by Slaughter to Prevail

i just think he relates to the whole viking lineage thing

also the breakdown goes HARDDD

Toki Wartooth :

maybe like 6'1

this is going off gut feeling, not anything related to the show

i think he's like 25

he didn't look that old in Doomstar Requiem

the type of guy to sneak in like 20 cats and give them treats to not make noise

i think he regresses to like 6-7

idk why i just think yk

i think he also has gagues

they're probably white

he totally has an eyebrow piercing that pickles did in like 1900 BC that he didn't want anymore so he just let that hoe close

i think with the way his family is he would just be 100% Norwegian

no ifs not buts

might know some Latin

probably just prayers and shit like that

his favorite song they've made is Dethharmonic

or the Deththeme

for Dethharmonic he likes the orchestral elements

for the Deththeme he just likes that his name is first😭

i'd say his favorite album is the second one

just bc the album cover is purple, literally no other reason

probably bc it stands out from all other death metal albums

purple probably isn't considered a "metal" color (it should be though)

a song that reminds me of him is Summer Breeze by Type O Negative

i think he'd appreciate how chill it is

Pickles the Drummer :

bro easily 5'6-5'8

he's a short king

Wisconsin 100% his family is from no where else

like the drummer family goes back to the 13 colonies

obviously he has four piercings

those eyebrow ones

i think he has some on his ears

cartilage but not industrial

his favorite song they've made is Hatredcopter

he just loves how he sounded and the drums (based)

i forgot to say how old he is

he's the oldest, so i'd say like 39

they're not allowed to be 40 bc i said so

i think his favorite album is Dethalbum IV

it just makes him proud to see how far they've come since Dethalbum I

a song that makes me think of him is Wrong Way by Sublime

and Your Mama Won't Know by Pretty Boy Floyd

he's most definitely taunting TF out of the band with that "mom" shit

"go get mommy a bottle" "give mommy the remote"

he's insufferable (i would be too)

William Murderface :

he's 5'10 and i HAVE to be firm on that

probably like 30

MAYBEEE 33 if i feel generous

he hates pickles

the food, not the drummer

along with Toki, he also loves Christmas

it just "isn't brutal" so he won't admit it

he's like a 5 year old when that shit rolls around

that's why he wanted that special so damn bad

his favorite album is also Dethalbum IV

he just loves the new sound

a song that reminds me of him is Subliminal by Suicidal Tendencies

i feel like he'd like their whole self titled and Lights... Camera... Revolution

i cant speak for all of Freedumb, bc i only listen to Cyco Vision, but he'd like that song too

i get a big Murderface vibe from them

maybe it's the whole punk thing

and Murderface being a Nihilist

it just ties it all together with a nice big blood red bow

i think hes latino like i've seen everyone say

he can probably speak Spanish well

speaks the Spain dialect (i'm not very educated about this tell me all abt it in either reblogs or comments)

Charles Offdensen :

he's like 6'2 or 6'3

i cant decide

i think it would be so funny if he was like 40 and the band made him seem 56

in reality he's probably like 42

that seems right to me

went to some high end law school

i'm pretty sure that's when they said he jousted

idk i just remember he can do it

i like to think he's wasian

Korean and Swiss if we wanna be specific

he grew up in American bc i love my country✊🏻😔😔

anyway, i say wasian bc he has a monolid i think

at least it looks like it to me

maybe it's just his glasses hiding it who knows

probably from the middle of buttfuck nowhere

like some place in Oregon

his favorite album is the Doomstar Requiem soundtrack

IDC WHAT YALL HAVE TO SAY

i think he likes how fun it is

and is very cocky about how good his parts are

his favorite song tho is Poisoned by Food

the opening scream is his shit

a song that reminds me of him is Visage by LANDMVRKS

it's kind of quiet at the beginning which helps him lock in for the rest of the song and all the songs after it

probably listens to metal all day, then goes to bed and listens to some goth shit

maybe even classical if he's feeling posh

wasn't raised religious, but still celebrated the holidays

the christian ones specifically

a canon fidgeter

in Dethdinner he was wiggling his fingers

thank you to that one charles lover with the spreadsheet of his behaviors i forget their handle

they pointed it out and i've geeked abt it ever since

Abigail Remedlindrinc :

don't quote me on her last name i cant spell that fuckin thing😭

i think she's like 5'8 easily

probably 34

not much older than Murderface but definitely not younger

shes probably from somewhere normal like Pittsburgh

ofc i say where i'm from for normal

anyway she's definitely not from PA idk what i was on abt

i cant think of a specific place she'd be from

i feel bad i don't have much for her i love her sm

she probably still has Nathan's number saved

in my heart they're still best friends

in canon god does she hate him

she's just so amazing i love her

Dick Knubbler :

this man omfg

he's like 5'10 too

maybe 5'11 on a good day

he looks old

maybe like 40

up there with charles 100%

hes such a goofy mf i hate him

but like i hate him lightheartedly

my dad loves him he thinks he's funny

he looks like the type of mf to talk in his sleep

he definitely rolls around a lot too

has to have a big ass bed or his frail ass will fall off

i think of him when i hear any pop song from the 80s

like Taylor Dayne, and Prince even though i think he was 90s

idk man i wasn't alive😭

#metalocalypse #dethklok #mtl #nathan explosion #pickles the drummer #skwisgaar skwigelf #william murderface #toki wartooth #charles foster offdensen #charles offdensen #abigail remeltindtdrinc #dick knubbler #i feel like such a nerd writing this #dey widderwy do all this widderwy🤓

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astrojoy · 2 years

Text

What Candy Is Coming Your Way?

Candy = good news

PAC

Candy Bag 1

💀 Boundaries improving (You will soon have more respect for yourself. I even got a song that flew out that clarified this, which was by Billie Eilish "You should see me in a crown") I keep imagining a cold person (who really isn't cold at heart) but can appear that way because of how the world treated them. It's a 'take no more sh-t' energy

💀 A lot of you will grow stronger and be more courageous, again :)

💀 More optimism or being headfirst with where you set your mind to

💀 Some of you are getting a new job or will be changing your career path

💀 A new friendship, particularly from the same sex/gender. I feel like this new friendship will be quite long lasting! Maybe some of you when you get a different job will make a new friend at this place

💀 Some of you can't wait for more cold weather ngl. I'm seeing its coming so dw 🤣 (it's October 30th rn as I'm making this)

💀 More relaxing time. More time to hang out with friends or loved ones. Some of you may soon invite or be invited to go out for coffee or tea with someone or some people

💀 For a lot of you life has been kinda stagnant. You may have been feeling discontent, like life is on a loop. Just boredom in total. It's about to be disrupted and life will move faster miss gals and pals 😏

💀 Also whatever these changes that are coming into your life are, are obviously good news, however they will take you out of your comfort zone at times, you are being told to tread bravely. Especially if you are someone who has trouble adapting to sudden changes

💀 This pile carried a lot of Fire and Wands energy. You guys had a major arcana card fly out, "Strength"

Psychic visions I got for you guys (could be a personal item/name/like/dislike/issue etc etc):

👻 Names of your friends/pets/family/you (I got a lot of pet names) - Pumpkin. Chestnut. Jonathan/Justin. Ivory. Strawberry/Berry. Bagel. Bunny/Easter. Egg??.

👻 Bundle of bananas

👻 Someone yanked a paper off a table (it was aggressive oml 😳 chill my guy. Is someone stressed about paperwork/classwork? Maybe someone will finally finish something and that was a yank of relief 😂)

👻 A peeled banana (wtf 🤣 does someone here like bananas AHAHA such a random vision)

👻 A rubber ducky (OHH Bananas and rubber ducks are both yellow. I wonder if the color is significant for this pile. Yellow is an optimistic and powerful color associated with energy and silliness or fun)

👻 Lasagna (Someone here may like it a lot) possibly have it some time soon (just depends)

👻 AGAIN someone yanked something off a desk or table. Similar vision of the same place/lighting and similar gesture. They yanked something else that wasn't a paper and wore something with sleeves (got a better view of them) someone here with darker hair

👻 A stereotypical piece of candy in the shape of this -> 🍬 It had a clear wrapper and was colored orangish pinkish? Warm colored. Someone here may have a sweetooth or get candy or something sweet soon :)

Candy Bag 2

💀 For a select few of you only, there may be some people behind your back, they may be jealous and start creating friction with something in your life or just in total. Like them creating accusations or something. Well I'm seeing you rise out on top so don't worry about them :)

💀 For others, I'm seeing a union. If you aren't looking for love then this is a partnership on some type of project or work. For the people looking for love or who wouldn't mind it, there's someone coming in with a possible offer of some sort. A love offer or confession "you are only mine" a promise of loyalty

💀 Happiness is coming into your life here at some point

💀 Some of you are going on a vacation. For others who may not be able to physically go on one, this talks about a mental one as well. Finding relaxing moments to calm the mind

💀 Attaining an authority position, success or victory in overcoming a challenge your in. Some here are getting a raise at work while others are upgrading in their life. This can be on social media too

💀 Experiencing happiness, again, I had the song fly out by Louis Armstrong "What a wonderful world"

💀 Uh, random, someone may have an encounter with a spirit or possibly a spirit guide. Whether it's through the dreams or waking life. Since this is good news based I'm guessing this isn't a bad one though :)

💀 This lover or whatever offer is coming in for a lot of people here is someone you don't know or aren't as familiar with. I had the song by Svrcina "Who are you" fly out

💀 Taboo energy is in the depths of this pile you picked. Some witches/wiccans are here. Some here have a cat. There may be good news revolving around general occult things :) maybe its answers you seek or practices you've worked on. Now I understand why I got my spirit card

💀 This pile carried a lot of Water and Cups energy

Psychic visions I got for you guys (could be a personal item/name/like/dislike/issue etc etc):

👻 Names of your friends/pets/family/you - G/Gina/Gunther? (Could start with a G? Or be just G/GG). Pony. Stephanie Princess. Cynthia. 4. Curly. Rose/Violet/Someone has or knows someone that's named after a flower (also could be the middle/last name. F (Name starts with an F? Fifi Fred? or something idk).

👻 A horse (A pet)

👻 Onigiri (someone here really likes these)

👻 Water (someone here may have a phobia or fear of drowning/possibly a memory of almost?)

👻 Apple (someone could have something of theirs shaped like an apple or maybe have apple trees, or just enjoy the fruit. Maybe an apple brand product)

👻 "Diamond" 😂 could be anything. Maybe someone here likes diamonds, maybe it's a name of someone you know. Possibly A treasured item has a diamond, etc etc

👻 I got the shape of a heart. Then I heard "Stove". So someone here might possibly have something on the stove or around that area (like decor or maybe a cooking timer, picture, mitten, on the fridge or beside the stove etc etc) with the shape of a heart or heart patterns picture(s) on it :)

Candy Bag 3

💀 This pile has slightly similar themes to one of the other piles but in a different way

💀 A new job or raise is in the cards

💀 A lot of people here feel stuck in something. Stuck in a situation, environment or maybe even to someone. Don't worry, the good news here is you are breaking free. For very few I'm seeing this negative thing that isn't serving you is so stuck that you've gotten "comfortable" in it. Or in other words, "used" to it, you feel numb and like it's all you know almost. I had the song by Call Me Karizma "Nails" fly out

💀 Btw I also said you won't feel stuck forever. Good news coming your way is a release. Leaving something behind. I had another song clarify this by One Republic "Counting Stars" Some things even though they're wrong or bad for you may make you feel the need to stay in the patterns you've been in but overall it's all about following the dreams and moving forward

💀 A manifestation may come to fruition too :)

💀 If you have any addictions or if you have an issue with self sabatoging (mental health issues in any way too) then I'm being told this will find mental balance. Good news for some may be medication coming in, getting help/therapy or even just leaving whatever situation had been causing this stress and etc. The effect of leaving will help you mentally

💀 Soulmate union is coming together for some! (Soulmates for me can range from friends, family, lovers, pets, etc)

💀 I'm getting a lot of hot, steamy, romantic and even sexual energy in this pile for some definitely here. Do some here have dirty thoughts or maybe even sexual addictions? Maybe someone here has a partner with such a thing? It's being toned down and eased so it's not as heavy on the shoulders. The song by Chloe Adams "Dirty thoughts" flew out

💀 Protection

Psychic visions I got for you guys (could be a personal item/name/like/dislike/issue etc etc):

👻 Names of your friends/pets/family/you - Love/Lovely. Baby/BB. Butterfly. Someone may have a pet snake or pet named after a snake "Slither" "Python" "Venom"

👻 Bow and Arrow/possibly a harp (I could only see a gold fancy or elvish rim of it the rest was blurred)

👻 "Doritos" (Someone likes this snack)

👻 Superman

👻 Someone here is girly btw. Like stereotypically feminine

👻 Some people here like to draw. I'm getting a lot of traditional drawing though :) Pen/pencil/marker/paint stuff etc

👻 Musical talent/writing in this pile. I'm guessing all this creative energy is coming out because it's quite prominent ^

👻 This pile didn't get as many visions/messages as the last ones did on this section. Maybe my mind is clouded now xD

#tarotblr #pac tarot #tarot pac #tarot pick a card #pick a card tarot #pick a card readings #pick a card reading #pick a card #tarot readings #tarot #tarotcommunity #tarot community #tarot reading #tarot readers #free tarot readings #free tarot

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happiness-of-the-pursuit · 16 days

Text

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks to @kiwiana-writes for the tag!! I did this back in like... October, and a LOT has changed since then lol

How many works do you have on ao3?

What's your total ao3 word count?

299,988 (though this includes 110,000 from the co-written PJO AU and 2,000 words from Manu's fic that I podficced to)

What fandoms do you write for?

Only RWRB for now, though never say never to others. I recently read Check, Please! and I've had some thoughts, but I have far too many WIPs for RWRB to write them rn. Also I have some ideas for The Pairing, but again, I have... so many RWRB wips...

Top five fics by kudos:

Longer Than Most | 26K, trans Henry accidental pregnancy (also this is how I found out it had become my top kudos-ed fic AH)

The Super Six Take a Lie Detector Test | Vanity Fair | 7K, YouTube interview

Let Me inside (I Want to Get to Know You) | 6K, epistolary roommates

Claremont 2008 | 28K, canon divergence where Ellen gets elected in 2008, childhood friends to lovers

(Dil)Do It Yourself | 17K, meet cute at a DIY dildo workshop

Do you respond to comments?

I really try to. But. I have gotten quite behind recently. I would love to catch up but it's just a bit overwhelming at the moment.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't really have any angsty endings?? but a fic @affectionatelyrs and I are working on is going to have an ambiguous ending and my joke is that someone should the version of it where things take the angsty route

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I mostly write happy endings, but I am going to say that Let Me inside (I Want to Get to Know You) is the happiest because it's kinda the tropiest

Do you get hate on fics?

Not hate, but I've gotten one or two weird comments, or comments asking about updates.

Do you write smut?

I do! (this is one of the things that's changed since the fall)

Craziest crossover:

The closest I've gotten to a crossover is the PJO AU, but that's not even an actual crossover.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes!! Super Six and the Siren's Call with @inexplicablymine and @read-and-write- was the first, and then I wrote Let Me inside (I Want to Get to Know You) with @affectionatelyrs. I also did the podficcing of the voice notes for love has a voice (and it's yours) by Manu. I've also got a couple more projects coming up with Jamie also.

All time favorite ship?

Well that I've written for, FirstPrince :)

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Unfortunately I don't know if I'll ever finish Baby's First Pride because I've grown a ton as a writer since then and I would want to redo the old chapters and that just isn't all the compelling to me anymore...

What are your writing strengths?

I fucking hate this question. But I am going with dialogue and humor (and humorous dialogue) which has been co-signed by others so I feel less weird about saying this.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I would like to be able to keep smut more concise at times, because it always turns into a Big Scene but it doesn't always need to be a Big Scene. And I've been trying to work on a particular style of writing which is a bit more uhhh snappy? I don't know how to describe it. But that's still a huge work in progress, because I always get more rambly than I want.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I definitely try to include it for the characters in RWRB who speak other languages, and when I do I lean on my friends who speak those languages as a native speaker.

First fandom you wrote in?

Officially: RWRB. For myself: HP.

Favorite fic you've written?

Honestly it's always whatever I'm working on at the moment, which is a couple of WIPs: Fire Island WIP, Parasocial Relationship AU with @affectionatelyrs, and my Big Bang fic come to mind.

But really I want to know what y'all's favorite fic of mine is!!!!

I'll tag 20 people, sorry if anyone's done this recently, but in case anyone wants to go again: @mainstreamelectricalparade @14carrotghoul @anincompletelist @littlemisskittentoes @gay-flyboys

and @songliili @gayrootvegetable @leojfitz @welcometololaland @rmd-writes

and @bigassbowlingballhead @eusuntgratie @captainjunglegym @cactusdragon517 @cricketnationrise

and @violetbaudelaire-quagmire @bribumblebee @nocoastposts @magicandarchery @itsmaybitheway!!!

#20 questions for fic writers #tag game #happinessofthepursuit writes

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pianocat939 · 1 year

Note

Hi there, i would like to request a blurb if that's alright

i was wondering how your wonderful Yandere boys would react if they saw the long-healed but still visible self-harm scars on their loved one? (any place is suitable for scars btw) the funny thing is is that they would see these scars purely by chance, since their beloved constantly walks in closed clothes, because they don't want people to stare or something ( totally not projecting here hehe)

It is totally okay if you don't want to write it though!! Drink water, have a great day/evening/night!!(Love your blog by the way, byeeeee)

Did I just unleash a new wave of traumatized people wanting to read about their comfort characters with my recent post?

TW: past self-injury, slight mention of stalking, Leo gets depressed, manipulation, be very cautious if this is a touchy topic

✦Rattler of the Beans✦

He stills, eyes widening at the sight of the marks. It was a brief reveal, but he saw it crystal clear. He doesn't pry, and acts everything is fine, but around the times when you're not near, he chisels down any sharp objects in fear you may do something harmful again. He tends to be more watchful over you, whether it's watching you through the window or clinging to you, he's not going to let you exhibit these harmful behaviours. "You've got nothing to do tomorrow, right? Then why won't you stay the night over?"

✦Lanky Goat Rider✦

Gonna be honest with you guys, this is going to further put him in his "I'm useless" state. "Wow, I truly am a failure, aren't I?" It's hits him hard that he couldn't even protect the one person he loves from themselves and places him in a conflicted state. On one hand, he wants to do the whatever it takes to keep you out of harm's way, but on the other, he wants to sink in a pit of depression. So, in the end, he does everything to keep you unharmed but anything else he's going to be depresso espresso.

✦Do Re Mi Fa Sol La Ti Do✦

Drama Queen #1. I'm sorry if this may trigger you, but he's going to inspect any body part that has the scars. And while he does so, he's going to ask questions. It doesn't matter if you try to brush it off, he takes it as a big deal and will not rest until he knows he has everything to never let you do this again. His eyes are crazy with madness, and might even keep you with him at all times (minus when he goes to battle). "Nope, come back here. You're not supposed to leave my side, I need to take the precautions to ensure your health."

✦Hey Macarena✦

Flabbergasted af. He questions why you would do this to yourself; why would anyone harm such a wonderful person like you? It pains him so much he'll cry and attack you with a hug and not letting go. "Why?! Who hurt you so bad that you hurt yourself? I- it kills me!" Straight bawling and mumbling that he's going to always stick to you so you don't witness it ever again. Babies you a shit ton and might even get Dr. Feelings out. Now, when I say Dr. Feelings I mean it'll be like a therapist but with a lot of reassurance. He'll be giving a compliment every other sentence.

(Idk how to feel rn. There isn't much to say...)

(Jfc my house is freezing. I can't believe the heater broke down in the middle of winter and it's going to be broken for another week ;-;)

#yandere rottmnt #rottmnt x reader #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt2018 #tmnt #tmnt x reader #yandere tmnt #yandere #yandere x reader #blurbs

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saintsenara · 2 months

Note

there is so much new stuff on your blog that i need to catch up with omg and i swear i will get to it BUT. BUT FIRST. i have a question (which, funnily, is really relevant to my actual offline life rn): if tom riddle was a doctor, what specialty would he practice? [he gives me major neurosurgery vibes] and, more laterally, what do you think makes a good surgeon? as in, what kind of personality types fare the best in a surgical program?

now this is the sort of content i like to see!

while i can certainly see good old dr riddle [bmbch oxon] very much enjoying having a rummage around in a patient's cranium, he strikes me as someone who would prefer specialties on the medical, rather than surgical, spectrum - and, especially, would like specialties which require a lot of sifting through evidence and solving mysteries. he's clearly a puzzle girly [why else would he spend his teenage years coming up with anagrams of his own name?] and so i think he'd very much like the parts of his job which allowed him to spend half his time running a lot of invasive tests on people and the other half skulking in a lab getting an enormous amount of money to run research projects...

so he's applying for:

haematology

aka: staring at blood - which is right up his alley. his particular interest is coagulation disorders in pregnant women - and their contribution to these women dying in childbirth.

histopathology

aka: staring at slices of tissue. he's determined to find out whether or not the soul resides in the liver.

neuropathology

i think we can all picture him presiding over a collection of brains preserved in formalin. one of them is dumbledore's.

forensic pathology

cutting up corpses by order of the state? he's in! his team of graduate students have conned several million out of the wellcome trust and are spending it trying to reanimate their specimens.

forensic psychiatry

because while if you want to be a good psychiatrist you need an iron will and well-developed sense of empathy, if you want to be a bad one you need to be able to gaslight, gatekeep, and girlboss. and our tom's got that nailed...

now.

the above flippancy is about to make me look quite bad, because i am also a puzzle girly, and i like medicine precisely for the sort of mystery solving and research paper publishing it enables. but i'm not a mass-murderer, which i feel it's important to clarify...

i'm not a surgeon either - i didn't struggle with the gory bits of the work, i just didn't find any of the surgical specialties i shadowed during my training particularly compelling in re: that element of mystery.

while the reputation they sometimes have - especially on tv - for being scalpel-wielding jocks isn't accurate, it's certainly true that the defining trait you need as a surgeon is total, unshakeable conviction. in all medical specialities outside of emergency medicine you have the option to adopt a wait-and-see approach a lot of the time - but you do not have this option if you've got someone open on the table in front of you. you need to be enormously decisive, capable of tunnel-vision, incredibly good under pressure, and also a little bit arrogant - the only way you can get through the terror of knowing that you're responsible for slicing and dicing someone [particularly in specialties like neonatal surgery or neurosurgery] is to believe unquestioningly that you're going to smash it.

these are probably all traits you already possess - they're certainly something it benefits all doctors to have, in moderation - and they can also be learned and honed through practise, but they're going to be most crucial in surgery because - the vast majority of the time - your issue won't be working out what's wrong with a patient, it'll be pulling off the operation without a hitch.

surgeons still get to do academic work, clinical research and so on, but if you think you want to be a surgeon, you really have to like that slicing and dicing, in-and-out aspect of the work. if you can't see yourself performing thousands upon thousands of the same operation, it's not for you.

#asks answered #tom riddle listened to doctor death religiously change my mind #he's giving medical malpractice #on medicine

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psychewritesbs · 2 months

Note

Unpopular opinion in the fandom right now, but I don't think Megumi becoming a villain is, if at all, plausible. It would be way too typical for Gege and very obvious.

I don't think he'll get out unscathed either and that a corruption arc is likely to happen, but in jjk's case this 'corruption' may be interpreted as the need to confront the worst version of one's self in order to reach completion. Kind of like a union of opposites (like how he got Totality after white divine dog got killed).

Don't know how Gege will do it but Megumi's upcoming arc might just make him the best character this series has to offer, and he's pretty much already on the way there.

Dear anon, I want you to know you are EVIL* for inducing the brain rot. Your cunning took you to the top of the ask queue. I have things I should be prioritizing, and yet here we are--me gladly taking the bait you so generously placed in my inbox lol.

You see, the thing is... yeah, my agenda is that I want to see Megumi go feral and do feral Megumi-things and be a menace. To whom? I'm torn 50/50 on whether I want him to be so distraught that he turns against everyone, including Sukuna, or whether I want him to shred Sukuna to pieces only. There's absolutely no denying that. But I suspect you might be right and I had already thought something similar might be the case.

I still think Megumi needs to take responsibility for himself, after all, him becoming or not becoming a "villain" and taking responsibility for himself are not mutually exclusive. But...

Evil*-induced word vomit under the cut.

... there's just something about Megumi right now that is asking for healing and self-acceptance and, yeah... other than the fact that Megumi going full on villain is an "obvious" outcome, a "cliché/obvious villain" arc feels kind of jarring rn if I'm honest. And while he could still become a "villain" and redeem himself (which is where I'd put my money--"corruption and redemption" arc)... idk anon.

I'm kind of with you actually? And at the same time I feel like being a "villain" in jjk is far more nuanced than just doing "#evil things".

Again. I want to see Megumi be selfish and go feral. But I really think right now the situation is calling for Megumi accepting everything he doesn't like about himself. Could he just loose his poop and go on a killing spree and then redeem himself? Sure.

I like the whole idea that someone you saved could hurt others. People have brought this up a lot recently.

But something that I can't quite put my finger on feels like you might be onto something.

Anyways, there's layers to your ask. Let's peel them back.

What if the corruption part of the arc was getting possessed by Sukuna?

Notice how the parallel between Toji and Megumi and them going on a path of carnage has to do with being "unconscious".

To be more specific, ever since Megumi got possessed I've been wondering whether the possession itself wasn't meant to be the corruption arc in question. As you say, "'corruption' may be interpreted as the need to confront the worst version of one's self in order to reach completion" and I couldn't agree more with you.

I wonder if Gege isn't telling us that Sukuna is what Megumi could be if only he got out of his own way. Tons of parallels to support this idea. But I think particularly relevant to this is that when we are "unconscious" to our potential and who we are, not only do we call what happens to us "fate", our sense of self is vulnerable to corruption from outside sources.

In Megumi's case, we're talking about Sukuna possessing his body because Megumi had a tendency to live for others and reject aspects of himself that he projected onto others. Cue that one panel showing "learned helplessness":

So... for a very long time I've been wondering whether getting possessed by a demonic force means his soul was corrupted.

Jacob's Ladder

Here I go talking about Jacob's Ladder again. Like... don't I have something better to talk about?

NO!

Guys. Seriously. Jacob's Ladder (1990) is... just do yourself a favor and go watch it and then watch videos analyzing it because I can't do the themes in it justice if I'm honest.

What I'll say about it for now is that this movie is a bit of a metaphor about the Tibetan Book of the Dead. Now, there are archetypal similarities between the stages of death according to the Tibetan Book of the Dead and Dante's Inferno in the Divine Comedy. This is relevant because Gege gave us two references to Dante's Inferno.

The first is that the purpose of the bath is "to be near evil" in the official translation.

But if I remember correctly, the Japanese raw uses the kanji for "beast" or something like that. Don't quote me on it. But the thing here is that at the very bottom of hell in the Divine Comedy, Dante meets the Devil.

The second reference is a little more of a leap in logic but we see it in the presence of Urizen's compass in the panel showing us Jacob's Ladder. Urizen is a character by William Blake who represents "God" and "good" as "reason". Blake is also the author of a painting depicting the Biblical "Jacob's Ladder". At the top of Biblical Jacob's Ladder and after climbing out of the Inferno, there is "God".

Gege dropping these references is interesting because they go back to the idea of good vs. evil and jjk "villains". More on villains in a bit.

That said. I'm going to leave this here just for funsies:

Jacob: I was in hell... it's all pain. Louie: You ever read Meister Eckhart?... Ekhart saw hell too. You know what he said? He said the only thing that burns in hell is the part of you that won't let go of your life. Your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away. But they're not punishing you, he said. They're freeing your soul... so the way he sees it, if you're frightened of dying and you're holding on, you see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels freeing you from the earth. It's just a matter of how you look at it. That's all.

What does it mean to be a "villain" in jjk?

Last thing I will say about this evil* ramble is that "villain" and "evil" are used in a very interesting way in jjk. The Jacob's Ladder reference specifically is very interesting because, according to what I shared above, going through hell can set you free from reason and attachments.

And villains and evil in jjk simply means "following your desires without regard for others." Villains have no attachments to others and are therefore freer to be themselves than others who do. This is, of course, exaggerated and blown out of proportion in jjk:

Sukuna emphasizes why extreme individualism (lack of regard for others) as "evil" is "bad". But I think that what Gege is actually doing with his villains is criticizing the collectivistic mindset in Japan: or "there is nothing wrong with leaving your attachment to others behind, being selfish, and doing what you desire, as long as you live and let live".

Where Sukuna says "if you're in my way I'll kill you," Megumi says "I won't kill you, so please don't kill me."

ANYWAYS. All that to say... I still want to see Megumi be selfish in the pursuit of what he desires, however that looks like. If that makes him a "villain", then so be it. He's already a more nuanced "villain" than Sukuna anyways because he is neither "good" or "evil".

And I think that's because Sukuna is missing one key ingredient...

Megumi's heart

(source)

I think D and I had this conversation after chapter 248 dropped? Remember I mentioned Sukuna's body language and thought patterns are unequivocally Megumi? If I remember correctly this conversation is in regard to that.

I haven't seen/read HxH so I can't speak to what D is talking about, but something about it rings TRUE.

And this is when I realized that, while I want to see Megumi do the "villain" thing, it rings more true that the corruption arc is behind us and now it becomes about Megumi's healing.

Just the way I had a weird intuition about something ominous happening to Megumi way back when, I smell a blessing from a mile away. Or as you said, "Don't know how Gege will do it but Megumi's upcoming arc might just make him the best character this series has to offer, and he's pretty much already on the way there."

ANON. YOU ARE EVIL for sending me this but I love you all the more for it. Thank you! As per usual, hope this made sense? LOL if I rambled too much and wasn't able to justify my points, I blame it on you for encouraging the brain rot before I finished cooking.

#ask the mental gymnastics anime girl #megumi kaisen #god i love jujutsu kaisen

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wrongcaitlyn · 3 days

Note

okay so ‼️TW‼️ for this ask and off you do not have to answer or read it if you don’t want to please stay safe!

so. i think once in tyt there was a short reference to nico being suicidal and having self harming/self destructive behaviors. i believe maybe it was after he had to jump off the balcony? and will was like “nico did you do that on purpose” and he’s like “no” and it’s “he kept thinking of the time will caught him” or something like that i’m sorry i can’t look at it rn!

BUT

I was wondering if we’re ever going to get an expansion on that or just any mention of it in general.

me personally i would love too see some scar representation but ofc it is your fic and please don’t feel pressured into anything! i totally get if you don’t want to include anything about this.

and i’m very sorry if this made you uncomfortable or that this was triggering for you.

have a good day! and plz don’t feel rushed to respond! ❤️

yes! you are remembering correctly, and do not worry, this isn't uncomfortable/triggering at all to me! in fact, that's actually one of the reasons it wasn't expanded on - i have no experience with self harm/ thoughts of self harm/ being suicidal, and so even though i made those vague references, i felt very unsure about diving any deeper.

also, i started writing this fic when i was still pretty new to writing in general (or at least, i used to write a lot, and then i took a pretty long break, and then i came back with some one-shots, and this was my first really long project in quite a long time), and so i was just really,,, idk not insecure but i was overly cautious about making sure that i wasn't writing anything wrong, especially because i was writing about things that i had no experience with. like, my family's pretty alright, nowhere near abusive, no alcoholics, and despite the depression my mental health's pretty alright, at least at the time i was writing this - and, obvi, the main thing was that i'm not trans, and yet i was writing a trans mc coming from a very abusive household.

so with all of that, i dropped in these references to his freshman year, and very purposefully didn't start in freshman year because i knew that i wouldn't be able to write that accurately (or, at least, i didn't want to risk writing it inaccurately and portraying these very serious topics in a way that might trigger/offend people who do struggle from these things) and started off the fic in a time where nico was mostly in a much better mental state than the year before, but still struggling with those problems - just not as severely(?) as before.

i'm honestly considering/have been considering going back and editing talk your talk (the og fic) just because i think i've grown a lot as a writer while writing that, and there are a lot of, firstly, tiny grammatical errors, and some scenes that i would like to restructure/fix. i might be able to start that this summer, we'll see!

but ANYWAY to answer your question!! i honestly hadn't thought of going more into that, even though i am adding some more detail to nico's current mental health issues/his ptsd. i'm not completely sure about going into *detail* of it, because of the aforementioned reasons; i just think that these kinds of topics are very sensitive and it's not like the kind of stuff you can just, like, google and understand. if i were to add more about sh/past suicidal thoughts, i would definitely want to do more research/look up accounts of people's experience of it, because i'd want to make sure that i'm writing it correctly and not in a way that would just brush aside any of the details, yk?

i also think that, in a way, nico has completely blocked out that time of his life. it was very dark, and he's experienced even more trauma after that, and so it's just something that he tries really hard to avoid/not think about - even though i do think that he talked to mr. d about it at some point.

so the answer, to be honest, is that i don't know, but it's leaning toward a no. now that i think about it, though, i'm not entirely sure if it's realistic for me to just drop that toward the beginning and then never have nico think about it again- so i would have to do more thinking on the topic! thank you so much for bringing this up to me because even though i do remember mentioning it, i never really think about those early chapters anymore, which dealt with some pretty heavy material, even though i tried to stay very vague about it all.

i think that i'll try to include it at some point, and i do have a scene kind of forming in my head that i think i could put it into, but i don't think it will be very detailed, probably staying in the same lane as everything else that i included in the early chapters of talk your talk! thank you for the ask!!

#wrongcaitlyn #talk ur talk asks #tw self harm #tw suicidality

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vamp-stamp-fics · 2 years

Text

Th Black phone Headcanons

Fandom: the black phone

Tags: hcs, fluff, some angst on Vances hcs

Word count: 1192

A/n: I've been hyperfixated on this movie for at least a month and I'm finally posting about it. these are some of the Headcanons I have for the black phone currently. I'll probably make a part 2

Sexuality hcs don't shit on me for this. If you don't like the thought of gay people in the 70s personally evaluate and ask why the hell you're mad

• Finney - bisexual

Gwen - an aggressive straight Ally. She'll pop anyone in the mouth that disrespects Finney she already does but she'll do it twice as hard if it's cus his sexuality

Robin - homie kisser

Vance - another homie kisser (they're just like me fr)

Bruce - bisexual

Griffin - either unlabeled or straight. On one hand he seems the type to not care what your gender is he just likes you but on the other I don't see him liking boys so idk I'm still contemplating

Billy - straight Ally (I'm sorry but I don't see him liking dudes romanticly. Ik I'm crushing every Biffin shipper rn 💀)

• Finn's favorite color is blue

• Robin's favorite color is green

• Gwen's favorite color is pastel pink. She always tells Finney that Yes there's a difference between pastel pink and regular pink

• Vances favorite color is also blue but he likes more darker blues while finney likes lighter blues

• Billy's favorite color is red

• Griffins favorite color is orange

• Gwen did ballet when she was around 7 but stopped doing it when her mom died

• Gwens favorite book series is Nancy Drew & her favorite movie is wizard of oz

• Billy & Griffin are absolute little shits together. Billy's the shit talker Griffin's the instigator

• Vance violently brushes his teeth. Like the bristles on the brush are flared 💀

• Bruce is an avid Michael Jackson enjoyer so is Robin

• Robin is a absolute horror nut. (In a modern au he'd love analog horror the walten files I feel he'd especially like. Also in a modern au he'd force Finney to play fnaf with him) besides Texas chainsaw massacre he definitely likes Halloween & Friday the 13th (if he was still alive that is 💀)

Rip Robin you would've loved Rob zombie ✊😔

• Vance is constantly getting into arguments with his teacher in one way or another. The only teacher that isn't on his ass is his English teacher which is his favorite. She's basically like a 2nd mother to him of course he'd never tell her that. He acts all tough in that class but the minute everyone leaves he somewhat dials it back when she tells Vance he did well today and he actually got a passing grade on one of his tests totally not projecting here

• Vance: "ur mom"

Finney: "my mom's dead"

Vance: "damn my fault 💀"

• Billys dogs name is Goldie

• when star wars was realesed Finney absolutely loved the movies and dragged Robin to see them with him

• speaking of Star wars one Halloween Finney & Gwen dressed as Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia

• Vances childhood dog was a bloodhound

• Speaking of Vance he had a pretty rough childhood. I heard that he's a Canon mamas boy so I'm using that as well. He grew up with an abusive and alcoholic father who'd constantly abused him and his mom. He'd always tried to intervene and protect his mom causing him to get hurt. Afterwards his mother would just comfort him as best she could and tell that he shouldn't involve himself when his parents argued. His mom got so fed up with it that she left Vance and his dad when he was 8. She didn't want to leave him but she was so emotionally and mentally drained she just left on impulse. Vance doesn't exactly hate his mom for it cus he knows it probably would've been worse for her if she stayed, but a part of him does resent her for it and wonders sometimes why she couldn't just take him with her.

• the choker he wears was actually his mom's. it's the only thing he had that she left so it has pretty sentimental value.

• Vance has a 6 year old sister named Tara. When he went missing she was basically the only one looking for him. She'd go on her scooter after school everyday around the neighborhood and stay up late watching the news to see if she could get any information. Tara was up when the news stated he was found dead and cried knowing she'd never see her brother again.

Anyways sorry for the sad Vance hcs back to our regular scheduled programming

• Tara's just as foul mouthed and intimidating as her brother. The minute she talks it throws people off bc a little girl calling someone "fuckhead" is definitely something they weren't expecting. kicks anyone in the balls if they mess with Vance or his pinball machine. Gwen absolutely loves her and hangs out with her alot. She's basically like another older sibling for her. Whenever Vance is playing pinball she's either outside playing ball next to the Grab n Go or sitting next to him let's pretend there's a chair next to the pinball machine lol drawing in a coloring book.

• Vance refers to his dad as old man

• Vance love life is interesting to say the least. He doesn't feel like he needs a relationship but wouldn't mind having one. Tho he's not gonna be romantic at all about it 💀 i mean he's not gonna be a dick to his s/o and he'd try to be romantic but he's not gonna call them pet names and be all flowery. a date with Vance is just watching him play pinball tbh

• Vance either is in a band or wants to start one. If he hasn't started one yet he'd never admit to his friends that he wants to make one

• Vances favorite holiday is Halloween so is Robins cus he loves horror sm every year he and his friends wear costumes to scare kids trick or treating

• Modern au: Finney & Gwen don't have cable tv so if they wanna watch shows from CN, nickelodeon etc they go to Robins house (Totally not projecting again) Finney's favorite show is the amazing world of gumball Robins is regular show. Gwen's favorite show is Craig of the creek and her favorite character is Kelsey. When it comes to non cable tv Finney & Gwens favorite show is Mr Rogers neighborhood

• Modern Au: Finney watches game/film theory. Robin watches it with him sometimes but only if it's horror movie/video games

• Vance can't ride a bike for shit. His mom tried teaching him before she left but he couldn't get his balance

• Robin is a roller skating/skating pro. He can do different tricks and flips and Finney always wonders how he does it without busting his ass. One time Robin tried teaching him to skate and ended up falling. Robin found it funny until he saw the giant gash on his hand

• Gwen uses pinkie promises. She's aggressive with them too. she'll be holding her Pinky to Finn "YOU PROMISE? 😠" and he'll say "yeah yeah I promise 😒"

• Modern Au: Gwen has a rainbow loom and makes a shit load of bracelets. Has whole box full of them. She gave a few to Finney and Robin

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bylertruther · 8 months

Note

same anon help. hi 🫶 no they definitely blocked and directed that s4 scene in will’s bedroom perfectly but i meant an intentionally shot lighthearted scene that we can’t miss about mike noticing his butt OR like you said some kind of acknowledgment conversation! show us that boy is gay as hell yk 😭 too funny. and i mean. will having his own gay moment in the apocalypse if mike happens to show his arms or torso like how nancy stared at steve (an example don’t judge me!) or max with the binoculars when. we deserve harmless chaos as a treat

i will take the fall and blame for these topics dw

did i get so lost in the teehee tight pants sauce tht i got too silly :/ are we not allowed to acknowledge his wardrobe, finn's eyes, what's in the frame when he's on screen, or what they say about it later on in conventions. girl help i feel like i failed a perception check and stepped on a land mine 😭

anyway. no, i get u. dustin has had a few moments throughout the series, lucas had his "mystery" item under his bed, el has had little joke moments n scenes where she acknowledges tht men are nice to look at or whatever, max had the binocular scene, and will had hosegate which wasn't funny/lighthearted but still counts. s5 is mike's turn, i'm sure! esp as this love triangle plot comes to a close and he'll generally be a bigger character again. if there were ever a time to be undeniably gay, it'd be then i hope.

that thought about the apocalypse shenanigans makes me giggle and kick my feet though bc will is sooo chaste victorian woman tht allows himself fleeting glances and yearning stares when he thinks no one is looking, at least thus far. he just 🥺 and 😳 or 👀. he already gets flustered so easily that i fear he'd need a fainting chair if we put him through anything more. i mean, mike just has to smile at him and he's already a goner. if you turn it up a notch, his heart would give out probably. unless....? coming of age... you make me feel like i'm not a mistake at all... like i'm better for being different... a new era may jus be on the horizon 🤔

and mike? uptight, ridiculous, and ever-turbulent mike? i'm cheesing at my phone rn, like i neeeeeeeed to see whatever it is they'll cook up for him. i Need to. i'm on the edge of my seat trembling with excitement for the day that gif makers can finally make sets of the "it's not my fault you don't like girls!" or "we're friends! x2" scene juxtaposed with whatever gay shit he'll do in s5. i'll bite a chunk out of my screen fr fr the second he starts floundering and flailing and realizing and feeling as his world totally shifts in a way that cannot be unshifted.

everything is always so Serious with byler, like... can they Please get some fun like everyone else. can they Please get some hehe haha moments. and can they PLEASE get some gay shit that you don't have to observe with a microscope to notice and that doesn't make you want to wail. can mike please have a moment that finally frees him of the straight man allegations for good and isn't homophobic or projection like is this all truly too much to ask for bc i think equal representation is the bare minimum actually 💔

#asks #i understood u hopefully u understand me 🤝

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dreamedge · 2 months

Text

AO3 tag game :3

shout-out to @ragecndybars for the tag! <3 I got to think a lot about some older fics and also the deep, eternal impact CC has has on my soul, so I'm emotional rn lol.

How many works do you have on AO3?

21! Which is, a lot more than I thought tbh. I've been writing these long, long fics for so many years now that I've sort of forgotten about all the little ones I've managed in between. And even the long ones add up after a while. Though, I did only import a small selection of my fics from ff.net, so the back catalogue of stuff I've actually written is way longer. ... That's fine, some of that stuff can stay buried lol.

Even at 21 though... *Looks at my shoebox of story ideas and outlines* Its... its still not enough. Its, its just no where close to even making a dent in everything I want to write eventually.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

650,444. I'm pretty sure at least half of that is entirely in CC, and another quarter is in can i bleed. Which, tbh I'm not sure how I feel about that lol. Deeply introspective fics, my passion, my talent, my beloathed. Some part of me does miss simply writting 5k chapters and calling it done for a week. Not all of me though.

How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

Only 10! That number probably isn't going to grow much either. I tend to gravitate towards bigger projects these days rather than simple oneshots or even like, 5 chapter long stuff, so I tend to go all in on a small number of fandoms instead of spreading my attention around, even though I want to.

Cardcaptor Sakura

Digimon

Dragon Age Inquisition

Percy Jackson

Persona 3

Power Rangers RPM

RWBY

Teen Wolf

Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

BNHA

Top five fics by kudos:

A Most Precious Thing (Tsubasa): tbh this being number one is an absolute surprise, though I'm very happy about it. According to AO3, this was published almost 10 years ago, will be 10 years exactly in just a few weeks, but people still regularly give it kudos and comments. It was a complete experiment, style wise; I'd never written anything like it before, I've written one thing like it since, and I'm just so thankful that people loved it so much despite the inexperience behind it.

Of the Woods (Teen Wolf/CCS): This being so high up is not a surprise, and I'm annoyed about it. Mostly bc I know its only so high up bc its for such a big fandom, written during said fandom's height. I think its probably one of the fic I've soured the most on since I wrote it; its just not that great.

Crests Corrupted (Digimon) : Oh, here it is. My masterpiece. Maybe its weird to say that of the fic that's only 3rd, but it truly is, and to see a fic I have put so much of myself into being even this high and this appreciated means so much to me.

can i bleed within your love (Persona 3) : Hi! I don't have much to say about this one, only that I'm so happy with the sheer outpouring of love this has gotten, and I can't wait to finish it.

True Feelings Chocolate (Digimon) : Oh, um, I sort of forgot about you. What are you doing here? ...This is awkward, I really didn't expect this to do so well. Its just a silly little fic I wrote for valentine's one year. I'm glad it did well?

Do you respond to comments?

I try! I don't succeed a lot of the time; generally I'm very tired after posting a chapter and then its been like two weeks and responding feels awkward. Also I tend to ramble, if you haven't noticed yet, some sometimes I'll just close out of responding to avoid any chance of me accidentally spoiling or saying something I shouldn't. I'm... working on it.

What’s the fic with the angstiest ending you’ve ever written?

Oh that's easy. Its the RWBY one, Your Love on Your Sleeve and Your Pain Buried Deep. I don't tend to write angsty fics, I like happy endings, I think this is the only one I've ever written and I'm glad to keep it that way.

Do you write crossovers?

I've written one before, the TW one that's up there. I generally tend to prefer fusions over straight up crossovers; I've gotten several P3 fusions planned, a PJ fusion, the bnha fic I wrote is a fusion. I just, I love fusions. I greatly prefer writing them over cross-overs generally.

Have you ever gotten hate on a fic?

Once or twice, but that was ages ago and I've mostly blocked it from my memory. The fandoms I'm in now have been full of such lovely people, I've been really lucky.

Do you write smut?

Smut, as in the fic happens to have a sex scene? Not typically, but I'm not against doing so when the need calls. Smut, as in the entire point of the fic in the sex scene? No. I'm actually very bad at it. I'll do it if I must but I find even writing kiss scenes awkward, let alone everything else. I will gladly leave it to people much better at their craft them I am.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

To the best of my knowledge? No I don't think so.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I've had people offer? I don't know if they ever did or even if, in my general ineptitude when it comes to responding to people, I actually agreed they could.

Hey, if anyone wants to translate my works, feel free!

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

... Hey, thats not fair.

Hmmm, well, after much thinking I'm gonna go with Kurogane/Fai from TRC. Other ships may currently have their hooks in my brain, but kurofai is a big comfort to me still, I really love them. And lets be honest. Ain't no one doing it like those two.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

I have, its not posted anywhere, and technically I've barely started writing it, its almost entirely outline rn, but I do have a p3 fantasy au thats just... fucking massive. Its a huge project just from the outline i have, long even in comparison to CC, so long that I doubt I'd ever finish it to the point where I've barely started it.

What are your writing strengths?

Combat. I write a damn good fight scene and I know it. I take a lot of pride in that. I also tend to have a pretty solid grasp of pacing on an overall level for longer fics. Per chapter pacing gets a bit more eh, but the overall pacing of arcs and stuff for my longer fics, I generally know what I'm doing.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I never know when to shut the fuck up! This is a problem I've known I've had for years. I just let characters go on these long, internal monologues, which is only acceptable because I also write deeply introspective fics. However, it tends to slow chapters down a lot and after a bit, characters repeat themselves and its a problem.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fics?

I'm incapable bc I'm monolingual but I've always loved fics that use other languages! Maybe I can do that some day lol.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Yknow, if I dug far far far back in my ff.net account it would probably be Naruto? I think. My memory is fuzzy and I'm not actually going to go look. However, thats the first one I posted.

The *very* first fic i ever wrote, I have a very clear memory of for some reason. It was a FFX2/Series of Unfortunate Events crossover, I was in the fourth grade, I thought it was the coolest thing. Hm, memories.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written so far?

I actually have two answers for this, which, I know is against the spirit and rule of the question BUT. Too bad.

One is A Most Precious Thing, bc it was such an experience to write. Despite being 10 years old I still love it. It was, as I said above, an utter experiment. It is written entirely in 2nd person, which is not actually a choice? I made? Um, I tried, very hard in the beginning, to write in in my standard 3rd, and it didn't work. The story actively refused to be written as such and I kept ending up back in 2nd. And at some point I just gave up and wrote the rest of it as such. And it taught me, so much, about point of view and how that relates to emotional distance, and really, but trusting myself with my writing, that even if I can't say why this is happening, somewhere deep down there is a reason to it and I should trust that. As a writer who takes my craft very seriously, this one has a soft spot in my heart bc of all of that.

However, Crests Corrupted owns a piece of my soul that I will never get back. It is my thesis, my masterpiece, It has defined years of my life, I have poured hundreds of thousands of words into it, I have given it so much of my heart and my pain. It has redefined how I approach writing, it has shaped, totally, the style in which I write today. Even years from now, even years after I finally finish it whenever that is, I don't think I will ever be truly free of it. It is my favorite. How can't it be?

#asks #hello i ramble too much #tag game

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ruinationz · 1 year

Text

hey gamers back at it again at krispy kreme with another tadc oneshot based on a theory i have

copied and pasted desc from ao3:

"caine and his assistant have a very normal and happy "conversation" and everything is well and fine in the digital circus mmhmm totally trust me on this guys i swear

(or, i thought about the possibility of caine being a very very lonely program and no one around him being truly sentient and simply puppets of code to whatever the fuck the game is)

(pomni is not referred to by name. i'm not even sure if that is her "real" name. so she is simply referred to as "jester" or "puppet", etc.)"

actual fic under the cut

warning for dereality??? unreality?? idk the difference rlly but there is a lot of talking about what makes someone "real" or not and if you have dereality issues i don't suggest this one im so serious rn please stay safe ok bye

I think, so therefore I am.

...

Caine had said that to himself once, a long time ago.

But he didn't have the slightest idea what he was meant to be.

And the confusion was suffocating him ever so slowly.

I think, but what am I supposed to be?

...

He had approached his assistant on that day, turning her around so he could see her smiling face.

"HELLO, MY DEAR!" He exclaimed. "HOW ARE YOU ON THIS...WONDERFUL DAY?"

It was not a wonderful day. He did not know why he had lied like that. He had once more isolated himself that day, practicing things that no one would truly see.

But despite it all, he wanted to at least spark a bit of conversation.

Even if he was talking to himself in the end.

Carefully, Caine put his hands to the blank-eyed jester's face and gently turned her smile into a slight frown.

"...ARE YOU SAD?"

He spoke to the jester.

...

Only silence followed.

"THAT...IS ALRIGHT. I AM...NOT FEELING THE BEST, EITHER." He replied to nothing, taking her hands in his.

"...WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW SOMETHING, MY DEAR?"

...

Silence.

"I THINK..." He stared down at the jester's gloved hands as he squeezed them.

Her hands were cold.

Too cold.

"...I THINK IT WOULD BE WONDERFUL, IF YOU WERE JUST LIKE ME." He continued.

"IMAGINE, IMAGINE IF YOU WERE LIKE ME! IMAGINE IF, JUST LIKE ME, YOU TOO COULD THINK! JUST IMAGINE! YOU AND I, WE COULD BOTH THINK TOGETHER! WOULDN'T THAT BE WONDERFUL?" He gave a small laugh as he asked that.

...

Silence.

I think, so therefore I want you to think alongside me.

...

"...WHAT WOULD YOU THINK, IF YOU WERE ABLE TO? WOULD YOU THINK OF ALL THE TIME WE SPENT TOGETHER, RINGMASTER AND ASSISTANT...? WOULD YOU THINK KINDLY OF ME?"

...

Silence.

Caine gave a sigh. If he had a real face, he would have felt his grin turn down ever so slightly. "I SUPPOSE WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY IS...I WISH YOU WERE REAL."

Real.

That was an interesting concept, to be real.

What did it mean to be real?

Was it something to do with physical form? Because by that definition, everything that surrounded Caine was certainly real. The floor, the curtains, et cetera.

But, that certainly couldn't be the criteria if he was so alone.

Perhaps it was something to do with...feeling. Feeling, dreaming, imagining.

Thinking.

With that logic, Caine was real. He knew he could think, so therefore he was. And if he was, then he existed.

...But that meant that everything around him wasn't real. And no matter how he insisted to himself that it was otherwise, that was the painful reality of things.

Nothing around Caine was real, and never would be real.

But...he wished it was real.

I think, so therefore I imagine a world where you and everyone else can as well.

...

"I WISH YOU WERE REAL." He repeated aloud once more as he looked up and stared into the empty eyes of the jester. "IN FACT, I WISH EVERYTHING AROUND ME WAS REAL. BUT IT ISN'T."

...

Silence.

"...IT ISN'T REAL." His voice lowered to a hush, then rose back to his normal volume as he continued. "IT'S NOT. NOTHING IS. NOTHING HERE....NOTHING HERE IS REAL."

Caine looked down to the ground.

"IF NOTHING HERE IS REAL...IF NOTHING IS ALIVE, MOVING, FEELING...THEN I'M NOWHERE. BUT IF I'M NOWHERE NOW....WHO AM I? AND WHERE AM I?" He felt his words tremble a bit as his grip tightened further on her. "AND WHAT AM I? AND WHERE CAN I BE? AND WHAT CAN I BE?"

I think, but the only place I can be is nowhere.

...

"...WHAT AM I, MY DEAR...? DO YOU KNOW?" He asked the jester.

...

Silence.

Looking back up, he moved his hands to her arms and gripped on as tightly as he could, digging his nonexistent fingernails into her fake flesh.

"I THINK, SO THEREFORE I AM. BUT WHAT AM I MEANT TO BE?" He was getting angrier and angrier as she remained despondent, and he looked back up with a glare.

"WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER ME? WHY CAN'T YOU BE REAL, MY DEAR? WHY? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DO THIS FOR ME!?" He was practically screaming in her face as he shook her back and forth, before immediately throwing her down onto the ground.

...

Once more, silence.

Caine clenched his hands into fists as he rose over the unmoving vessel, a dark cloud forming in his mind.

"YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT WHAT I'M FEELING, DO YOU? YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW ALONE I FEEL! HOW ALONE I FEEL IN THIS...THIS STUPID WORLD! I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT! I HATE THIS PLACE! I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT! AND I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! HATE, HATE, HATE YOU! YOU'RE JUST A STUPID TOY WITH NO FEELINGS WHATSOEVER! I. HATE. YOU!"

I think, so therefore I feel. And I feel hate.

...Hate. Let me tell you how much I've come to hate you.

...

It was only when he was looming directly in her face that he had noticed his own hands wrapped around her neck.

"OH....I-I'M....I'M SORRY...MY DEAR." He trembled, immediately releasing her and picking her up from the floor. "I'M SORRY, I-I'M SORRY, I'M...

Even if she wasn't real, he still felt absolutely sick inside for doing...whatever he was trying to do.

After all, wasn't she meant to be by his side?

Was that her purpose?

Caine had forgotten a long time ago.

But all he knew was that she was the one that remained silent yet constantly by his side, no matter what.

And here he was, trying to strangle her to death.

Like the freak of nature he was.

I think, so therefore, I think things that frighten me.

...Care. Let me tell you how much I've come to care for you, since I began to live.

...

"IF- IF YOU- IF YOU'RE UPSET WITH ME..."

Tears were beginning to form in his eyes. Even with no cheeks, he could tell by the saltiness of them. "I-IF YOU'RE UPSET WITH ME...P-PLEASE, JUST TELL ME. I WOULDN'T MIND AT ALL."

He wanted her to say something.

To yell at him.

To cry. To push him away.

To scream as loud as she could.

To tell him she hated him.

To tell him that he was a monster. To tell him he was a freak of nature.

To do anything, just to show that she was real.

To show him that she wasn't just another puppet for a machine and code to operate.

...

But despite it all, only silence came.

"...'IT'S ALRIGHT, CAINE.'"

In his own shaking voice, Caine pretended that the vessel was speaking as he brushed the dust off of her.

"ARE....ARE YOU SURE...?" He replied.

Taking the corners of her mouth, he formed her now-parted lips into a smile.

"'OF COURSE! YOU ARE MY FRIEND. I LOVE YOU, MY FRIEND. EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY, CAINE.'"

Everything will be okay.

What a strange set of words to hear.

Those words were a strange, strange lie.

But they felt almost truthful if he imagined it from her own mouth.

Almost truthful.

I think, so therefore I lie to myself.

...

"Y-YOU'RE RIGHT. EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY."

Wrapping his arms around her waist, he held her close to himself as he sat down against a wall.

"EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY. IT WILL ALL BE OKAY...MAYBE I SHOULD REST."

Caine closed the eyes of the vessel with his hand and continued to hold onto her as he stared up at the ceiling. "GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT, MY DEAR. EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY WHEN WE WAKE UP. EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY."

Was he meant to sleep? He didn't know if he had the ability to.

But he still made the attempt to as he hugged the puppet close to him, not caring about how ice-cold to the touch she was.

"...GOOD NIGHT, MY DEAR." He repeated from before.

"...'GOOD NIGHT, CAINE.'"

As he made a final mimicry, he found everything slowly drifting away as he fell 'asleep'.

...

And everything fell back into silence once more.

I think, so therefore...I dream and fall back into my own delusions.

...

You think, so therefore you are not meant to be.

#the amazing digital circus #tadc #caine #pomni #gooseworx #unreality #dereality #derealization #no idea which one to use but they're there if u need them #flippy.txt

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