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inkskinned · 9 months

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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

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welcometogrouchland · 4 months

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ANOTHER SKETCH DUMP! Featuring more of me playing with lineless art. Batman reborn era trio (dick, damian and steph) I miss you...when will you return from war. Also featuring Steph designs bc I've seen ppl dissatisfied w/ her current look, some good mom Talia, and Jason Todd poetry club. Duke is confused not that Jason would start a poetry club but that he'd have such mid poetry opinions. (ID in Alt)

#dc comics #batfamily #damian wayne #stephanie brown #dick grayson #talia al ghul #duke thomas #cassandra cain #mine #woo new art tag. please god let me keep this up all year #uhh anyway yeah! still a big backlog of sketches but i got burnt out which means i had time to collect some #i feel like my art looks. extremely different w/o lines compared to with? idk i worry that's it weird/off-putting #but hey at the end of the day I'm hardly worrying about my brand integrity on tumblr dot com #duke and cass being at poetry club is based on them canonically being into poetry and for a good while duke and jason got along well #Steph is there for both jason and cass' emotional support (unfortunately there's a design flaw. she can't do both simultaneously)#(which is fine bc cass is fleeing the scene at the idea of having to casually hang out with jason)#(they're the exact amount of similar and more importantly different that it's like putting two firecrackers together. bad)#i really like the steph mask designs... it'd be fun to do something with them but idk what y'know?#I'm just like. if we're assuming that her mask has to be different from both babs and cass then this is what I've got as alternatives #i mostly wanted to practice character interaction with the talia and damian one... and also i love them #looking at james gunns batman movie proposal. you keep your hands OFF HER MR GUNN #please if shes evil in a movie they're never gonna let her be good in the comics again 😭#dc when you inevitably cave and do your next big reboot let the ppl finally have the son of the demon origin (w/ tweaks of course)#idk it's canon in my heart. heartcanon if you will <3 #anyway yeah uhhhhhh enjoy?

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chitinleg · 1 year

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got him off-balance!

#my art #ds9 #star trek deep space nine #julian bashir #elim garak #garashir #watercolor #image desc in alt text #i normally post on mondays but. today im breaking my pattern! getting a little silly. getting a little wild. garashir jumpscare #“tumblr user chitinleg garak would neot easily let himself be swooped off his feet into a hug like that” yes i know BUT!#look at his expression. look at how his arms r pinned. he didnt let this happen LMAO julian just surprised him. grabby huggy human behavior #if you look really closely you can see the tiniest frown in the world on Garak's face. because he's like “EEP !”#cant see bashirs face at all in this only his body but i think we can all imagine that whatevers going thru his head. he needs this hug bad #ALSO. for anyone wondering what the fucked up shadow is that starts at the juncture of the teal sleeve-cap where its set into the armhole #the jumpsuits have a bit of a fold of extra fabric (called an Action Pleat) there which allows for a little more maneuverability of the bod #AND creates a really sleek and flat back panel #because you can see the fabric twists along the side arent grabbing the flat back fabric theyre grabbing the fabric folded beneath it #often times i think about drawing out a dissection of kiras first uniform and this voy era one for other artists to use. bc god knows #i struggled at first to find full body references #they like to shoot ds9 very close to peoples heads. and the camera is so blurry. they smeared butter on that thing. god bless

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tsukinoshinjiu · 1 month

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For requests, maybe draw Wild in a skirt and shirt? A nice flowy thing.

He's so bonita ✨

#my art #artwork #digital art #artists on tumblr #art #linked universe #lu wild #wild linked universe #men in skirts #ask tsuki #request #it's funny saying bonita in english #but fucking look at him! He is!#i want his gender #so so bad #the skirt was harder than i expected #but im really glad with it

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wulfhalls · 13 days

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even newer kitkat pics <33

#getting him in three weeks :) got my complete emotional breakdowns over my baby boy down to like. three times a week which is something but #haven't put any of his things away yet and i dont think i can lol i miss him so bad i feel like dying still lol anyway. look at them earsie #cats #cats of tumblr #kitkat #love the red highlights he is so on vogue. hes really giving tavi in that light #but i gotta say bowie has been creeping up on me low key and now kinda like. obsessed

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solcarow · 3 months

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,

#happy birthday freak #u better b greatful i didnt miss it for the 3rd year in a row #kim dokja #orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #omniscient reader’s viewpoint #my art #solar-drawss #i was gonna hand draw the bg but i . couldnt finish that in 2 days so its just a stock photo filtered to hell and back #didnt turn out all that bad atleast !#kinda wish i made it clearer that hes running tho #and i think tumblr severely fucked up the quality as per usual #really wanted to make kdj the clearest and the train all pixelly but idk if it ended up looking right #its fine i had to rush it in 2 days #just dont look to closely at Anything #i missed drawing kdj....

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fayzart136 · 23 days

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"It is a truth, often forgot, that the end is very rarely the end."

This was a fun lineup to do! The closeups are below the cut, and I've put design details/reasoning in the alt text. I rambled a bit this time, I hope people don't find that annoying.

#artists on tumblr #digital #sfw #lineup #alice in wonderland #alice #the mechs #the mechanisms #the mechs alice #tales to be told #i really put a lott in the alt this time. I just like talking about the thought process #also as mentioned i have worked on this bad boy intensely for like 3 days #sidenote!! did you know that if you draw the underlying anatomy #the clothes will look better?#wild. And totally unfair. because now i actually have to draw all that stuff #anyway I really want to draw Lyssa and Actea too. And Arachne and Athena!#annnnd i should draw the Puppetshades lineup. I'm tardy with it.#anyway. im in a talkative mood today. Tag ramble over!

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stan-joe · 5 months

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pspsps link click fans these are two different cars (and probably two different road trips):

First car ↑

Recent car ↓

#also very different backgrounds between the two sets #not sure if this is being talked about elsewhere bc i really only use tumblr but I haven't seen anyone saying anything here #thought i'd make a note of it #link click #the 2023 art with CXS leaning on the yellow car is also a different car but it's more detailed so idk maybe it's also meant to be car 1 #similar looking to a point but definitely different cars #but what do i know #could i ID these cars? probably. but im bad at IDing drawn cars. show me a live action car and i gotchu. once it's stylised im out.#btw does anyone think the recent car shots look distinctly different (in terms of composition/framing) than the typical style #distinctly might not be the right word there. there's just something about them that vibes different. it's 1am i don't wanna think about it

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arimabari · 1 year

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Magic of Pegasus set in the 1890s

#Barbie #Magic of Pegasus #Barbie Magic of Pegasus #Princess Annika #Annika #art #fanart #I colored this while really sleepy so if the colors look bad #don't tell me #edit: also why did tumblr just decide to eat the quality on this thing HELLO #pls open it in a new tab if you want to see all the little details I am so tired

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sparrowlucero · 1 month

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lesbians arent a monolith cmon now. pretty ridiculous to act like just because you specifically disagree, prev anon is speaking over lesbians or whatever. they could *be* a lesbian for all you know

That's not what I'm saying at all. I'm saying it's weird on a individual level to say I like a writer's work on my personal blog and immediately receive an ask (several asks) implying some level of homophobia on my part and/or trying to force me to engage with a nebulous accusation that the work is fetishizing a group I'm a part of.

#also just really hate 'i didn't see the work in question but it's bad and you should also find it bad or else you're complicit'#really poor and hostile way to look at fiction #like it's a tv show not a tumblr callout

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fluffyapathybunny · 10 months

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