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davidfostercomedyblog · 5 years

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My Trip to Paris: A Review

Like any typical heterosexual male the idea of engagement photos seemed as appealing to me as that of a fantasy football league might to most heterosexual women. Nevertheless, I am happily engaged to the latter, and in cliché fashion conceded to said photo shoot, and have never been so grateful for a decision.

It was a week before our European vacation, and our (French) photographer asked us: “Where will you be staying when you go to Paris?”

“We got a hotel in Nice, Airbnb in Paris.”

“Oh, you better make sure they have air conditioning,” she informed us. “Most Parisians don’t have A/C’s. The units are considered ‘unsightly.’”

Umm… seriously?

The forecast for our upcoming trip was to reach record highs in temperature. Not record highs for July or our particular dates. Record highs. It was going to be 109… degrees! The hottest two days in the history of Paris, on which we’d scheduled a walk to the Louvre, then down the Seine River, and up the gabillion steps of Sacre Couer, at the end of which I’d implicitly scheduled a good night’s sleep, which would be impossible without air conditioning.

I reviewed our booking on Airbnb, and sure enough there was no A/C. When I emailed our would-be host to confirm this preposterous notion she responded: “I have a great fan though.”

Good for you.

Our late cancellation was the happiest we’ve ever been to eat $240. We had a hideous air conditioner in our otherwise lovely, entirely red suede hotel room in Villa Opera Drouotin Montmartre. There was red everywhere. Red wallpaper, red blankets, even a 360 red velvet seat in the red lobby. But it was cool, literally. It was the greatest continental breakfast we’ve ever had in our lives, and we were happy.

The first thing I noticed upon arrival at the airport was the urinals. I’ve never seen bulls’ eyes of such small diameter. Do the French have better aim?

Second was the plethora of friendly assistants at the train station, all of them fluent in English, all eagerly awaiting the opportunity to help even the most dumbfounded of tourists, which pin-pointedly described us. Can you imagine such an experience with a New York MTA worker? They look at you like instead of “Excuse me,” you opened with a derogatory slur and are requesting they literally carry you on their back to your desired destination. Paris: 1. NYC: 0

Next we sat on the train, which was faster and cleaner than New York’s, though that goes without saying, as every train on the planet, I imagine including those of third world countries, is much cleaner than New York’s. Paris: 2. NYC: 0.

We sat next to college kids, two French and one British, who were making fun of American tourists’ stereotypical ideas of Paris being this “romantic town, where everyone just gets cheese and wine and a baguette and eats it all on the streets.” When we got off the train I swear to God all I kept seeing were locals walking along the sidewalk eating baguettes or sitting at outdoor restaurants drinking wine and smoking cigarettes.

Baguettes were everywhere. I saw old men walking along the street chewing away at them, sometimes plain, others with ham and/or cheese stuffed inside. I saw young girls with grocery bags full of baguettes, others with just the one long one they’d need for that evening, way too large to fit in the designer pocketbook held in their other arm. Older women, young men, apparently poor people, rich people, black, white and Hispanic people (just kidding, there’s no Hispanics in Europe) – it seemed everyone had a baguette. I digress.

We weren’t sure if the cliché college kid pontifications were for our benefit, but I chose not to respond, a) becausewe weren’t sure, b) engaging in philosophical debate with college kids makes as much sense as engaging in confrontation with the schizophrenic homeless guy on the 6 train, and c) I was so jetlagged that they probably could have spread brie cheese all over my face and put their cigarette butts out in the mush and I would have let it slide. Whoever can get more than a few hours sleep on those red eyes are as gifted in my mind as Michael Jordan or David Blaine. Finally, the kids’ insults were at “Americans,” which I don’t identify as anyway. We’re New Yorkers - not Americans. There’s a difference.

We were two hours early for check-in, so decided to maximize our tourist time by taking the 20-minute walk from Montmartre to Sacre Couer.

Jesus, was it hot. It was 105 degrees. The walk was perpetually uphill and when we finally arrived there were more staircases than in the MTA’s latest atrocity, the 86thSt. Q train. What a moronic architectural disgrace that is.

We bought water from a local store and the lady didn’t even offer us a plastic bag. None of the stores did for entire whole trip. They all had them behind the counter if you needed, but I never saw anyone take one. Paris: 3. NYC: 0.

I could feel sunburn setting in. I took off my long sleeve shirt and threw it over my head to protect myself. The Asian tourists kept their umbrellas up for protection (though when do they not?), and the Italians were next to naked (though when are they not?). The heat was inescapable. It felt like the temperature was climbing along with us up the steps. Instead of a church, it was as if we were making the pilgrimage in Egypt. We had to take regular breaks and be mindful to breathe and stay hydrated, and constantly remind ourselves: “This is vacation, we’re having fun. This is fun. It’s vacation. This is… this is… this hot as fucking hell. Let’s take a lap around this church and go home.”

Sacre Couer is gorgeous: Incredible view of the city outside, and even better art inside. A local came over and requested I remove my hat, and I wasn’t sure whether my Americanism or Judaism was more apparent. We put hats on intentionally in our place of worship.

Finally checked in the hotel, we passed out for two hours in the coolest bedroom in Paris and woke up rejuvenated. We had dinner reservations at Derriereat 19:30, which was the earliest possible reservation because 19:30 is what time Derriere opens, which is just about the fanciest thing I’ve ever heard of.

Our table wasn’t even ready yet, but the maitre’d was friendly.

“Please, have a seat, we’ll get you a glass of wine and let you know when the kitchen’s open.”

Lovely!

Even my fiancée, who is rouge-exclusive, opted for white because of the climate, and it was the best white wine either of us had ever tasted in our pathetic American lives. Pouilly Fumé, crisp, minerally, dry and perfect and it was 6 euro, half what it would be back home.

We waited and waited, watched a few other parties get ushered into the restaurant ahead of us, and wondered if we should say something. I got up to remind the host of our presence, and he was flamboyantly sweet, super pleasant and matter-of-factly excited to seat us.

Ahh, Europe. Is it possible for a constant intake of alcohol, tobacco, bread and cheese to be physiologically offset by a complete lack of urgency and adherence to time?

When we finally got inside we found an adorable, almost hipstery chic spot that had apparently been someone’s home converted into a restaurant. We each sat in our own cushiony love seat across from one another in a spread out living room/library/game room as an active ping pong table was set about three feet behind my head.

Our waiter, Tyler, was from Canada, hence boasted the perfect hybrid of debonair French style with a western work ethic. We were relieved that he spoke English, but soon discovered so does 90% of the country. Tyler was jovial and handsome and encouraging of our order choices. The duck was insane – the best we’d ever had – the braised beef with zucchini was even better.

“Fuck you,” my fiancée kept exclaiming at how blown away she was by the food. I was happy we were able to show the local Parisians how New Yorkers applaud quality – by cursing it out.

We could have returned the knives, as the meats would have fallen off their bones with even the side of the same soup spoon we used to eat the best Gazpacho I’d ever tasted. With dinner we had the best rouge in the house for only 14 Euro per glass, and as a reward Tyler and the sommelier came over and insisted we all do a shot of rum. We were adequately buzzed with bellies full of beef… and bread. The whole experience was magnefique.

We followed Tyler’s recommendations for the night (we would have followed Tyler into the gates of Hell), on to cocktails at The Little Red Door, and although neither my fiancée nor I are very much into cocktails you couldn’t help but trust in the elitist mixology menu. Drinks were fantastic. We ended up yukking it up with some gay New Yorkers coincidentally seated next to us on the couch, mostly over how superior the culture everywhere else in the world is to America, with the exception of New York – one of my favorite topics of conversation.

We walked the mile home because time flies while walking through any city. We stopped twice for some nightcaps and allowed the city lights to fuel our way. Although New York is the “city that never sleeps” Paris is apparently the city that always eats. 1:00 in the morning on a Wednesday night and it seemed almost every restaurant with outdoor seating was not only open, but practically filled with locals literally and figuratively chewing the fat. Any potential for jet lag and heat exhaustion had been instantly healed by meat and alcohol, but still we were spent, and a had a long next day ahead planned.

It’s possible I was woo’d by the air conditioning as I’m not much of a museum guy, but the Louvrewas great, definitely our favorite tourist attraction of the trip. We’d bought tickets beforehand and it took about 60 seconds to enter. Almost everyone there was quite pleasant, though the best part was the security guards at the Mona Lisa who were anything but. Groups of us at a time were being yelled at for not moving fast enough – like waiting on line to view the classic piece of art was a local crime and we owed a cowering apology while running and ducking for cover. They could have been instantly beamed to the central bookings jail in downtown Brooklyn and not missed a beat. One of them was the first white guy I’d seen in France with that pathologically rosy facial complexion that screamed alcohol, hypertension and New Jersey; and although it was clearly his job there to be an asshole we believed it to be a case of chicken or the egg.

I’d love to tell you it was beautiful, that Monawas beautiful and a magical experience of tourism, but I don’t think I ever got a good look. It was pure chaos, herded into a swarm of fellow tourists, and one of the only contexts where typical Asian good manners actually fell by the wayside as they refused to be denied the perfect photographs. Spun into confusion and shitted out the other side of the room we much preferred the rest of the less popular parts of the museum.

Before leaving my fiancée insisted on taking pics by the Pyramid outside and I… I just cannot tell you how hot it was. There were other people out suffering as well, but most were huddled in the shade, massaging their skulls with frozen water bottles and drinking from another. We muscled through it, took photos with fake smiles, feigning joy or even comfort so that everyone on social media could see that we had fun at the Louvre. Indoors we did. Outdoors was about survival.

Next door we passed by the other popular museum, D’Orsay (What is this, the museum district?), and fiancée asked if I wanted to go in. As I generally visit one museum per decade at home, my rule overseas is one per trip.

We walked along the Seine River,which was beautiful and I imagined on any day under 109 degrees would have been crowded with other cute couples cut from similar cloths. They’d be eating cheese and baguettes, as everyone had instructed us to do, but ours was a different kind of trip, and I’d surely have jumped into the river before sitting along it with quickly melting brie. There were benches where I could picture us sitting, but even the mental effort of creating said picture was burning calories at an alarming pace. We passed through the Tuileries Garden, got a croque monsieur and more gazpacho.

On the way home I bought a suit for our wedding! It wasn’t the plan, but hey… we’re just some hot shot New Yorkers flying by the seat of our pants in Paris. Beautiful pants as it were, as I never thought I could make such a baller move.

Of course going into the store was wifey’s suggestion, but I went along with it. “Should we go in and see if they have any nice suits?” she asked.

“We should go in and see if they have any nice air conditioning.”

They did.

And before we knew it we were whisked away into the back room as if we had a reservation for two. Everyone there’s faces were beautiful and their outfits even more beautiful. I felt a bit underdressed in my Marcus Camby Knicks’ throwback jersey (while sweating like Patrick Ewing) and my crooked Yankees cap, but before I knew it I was Julia Roberts with Roy Orbison blasting in my head, as one of the most charming men on the planet, Tomas, put together ensemble after ensemble, creating his own Mona Lisa out of me.

Me, the sweaty asshole who just walked in the door in his gym clothes. Instead of angry security guards yelling at us, Tomas took his time with me, like a true gentleman, never allowing me to put any of the jackets on myself. His assistant brought us bottles of water and suddenly I began to suspect I was on a hidden camera show and Richard Gere was going to come out of the back room and ignore my sexual advances.

One fabulous suit I tried on was apparently made of some high-quality but more delicate fabric that Tomas warned me of: “A suit like this – you can only wear this to work maybe two or three times a week… otherwise it will not last.”

Two or three times a week? Who the fuck does this guy think I am? I’m sorry, Tomas, I love you, but in case you haven’t heard it’s only about 1% of the professions in New York these days that even require a suit at work… and those guys can afford enough suits to wear them two or three times a year. I’m not worried about it.

After about an hour of trial and error, mixing and matching and texting photos across the pond to Mom and others for feedback, finally we came to a unanimous decision. Tomas even threw in the pink tie from his own personal stash, and when we said Au revoirI could feel that none of us really wanted to. What we really wanted was to buy four more suits, then two giant homes in New York and Paris respectively where we could all live out the rest of our years together as the most stylish commune of love. Unfortunately that’s not how life works. But I found more than my wedding suit in the Paris SuitSupply. I found one of my favorite people, one of my fondest memories from the trip, and finally, a hell of a deal! Weeks later my (Jewish) fiancée did her research and discovered after the conversion rate I’d gotten a $1000 suit for almost half the cost. Paris: 4. NYC: 0.

When we got outside it was still 109 degrees. We went home and hosed down in preparation for another night on the town…

Bofingerfor dinner: An apparently pork forward venue that seemed to specialize in shellfish and sauerkraut dishes. I’d never had to de-shell my own snails before, and if you would have told me at any point in life I would twice in one day feel like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman I would have at least figured one of the two would involve prostituting myself on Hollywood Blvd. Thankfully, none of the “slippery little suckers” went flying across the room into any waiters’ hands. A now experienced acupuncturist I figured I could successfully navigate this previously foreign task and eventually I was right (although two of them were stuck super deep inside and I resorted to simply brutally cracking them open). Absolutely drowned in the plate’s bath of garlic and oil they were delicious!

The chilled cream of asparagus soup with mascarpone was the best I’ve ever had in my life. I understand this superlative is beginning to sound like a broken record, but hey, we’re discussing food and wine in Paris. It isn’t like I’m telling you I heard the greatest hip hop song of my life there.

Unfortunately the sauerkraut dish was anti-climactic in taste, overwhelming in size. A beast of a platter, and we figured the reason the runner brought burners to light underneath it must have been because no one could possibly finish this plate in less than three hours. Most of my family has hefty appetites and within my family I am generally the one most derided for overeating; but my fiancée and I couldn’t even make a visible dent in the dish. We left full sausages just hangin’ and neither of us even broached the monstrous pork knuckle that looked like too much to tangle with. What was most fascinating was the gentleman next to us ordered the same dish, had it arrive after ours, and absolutely demolished it before we’d thrown in our towel. “Was he overweight?” you ask.Absolutely not, he was handsome and slim, fit. This is Wonderland.

We had nowhere to take our leftovers, but figured better to gamble on running into a homeless person then just throw it out. We saw some poor man seated on the train station floor on our way to Latin Quarters, and bestowed him with what I assume was the best meal he’d had in years.

We passed by Notre Dame, and I felt kind of like an asshole - like the tourists in NYC taking pictures in front of Ground Zero before the new tower was built: Odd locational tone for a photo opp.

Latin Quarters sucked. Think Bleecker Street meets Time Square, and in case you thought bro-douchery didn’t exist outside of America think again. Lots of pubs and sports bars, novelty shops and loud partyers, and you could skip it. A friend of us warned it would be like this but was worth seeing once. Another friend told us of a cocktail bar there on the Holiday Inn rooftop, from which you could see the whole city. Sounds lovely!We passed by only to be told the roof was closed as a result of the heat. Night Deux was a bit of a letdown.

The next day was a more of the same, only to reinforce a lesson that as New Yorkers we should have already known: Avoid tourist traps. The elevator at the Eiffel Towerwas broken which greatly appeased my fiancee’s terrific fear of heights, however I’m still awaiting my refund for the aloof purchase. Champs Elysseswas… ehhhh… like Fifth Avenue meets Soho, but not even the nooks and cranny side streets of old Soho of the 1990’s – more like vomit-up-your-ass chain retail, Broadway Soho of 2019. My fiancée got to take some nice pics of that other humongous fuckin’ old thing, but besides that the marathon distance walking through the desert level heat was beginning to wear on me… and by this time my neurology had shifted to a degree of alcohol dependency which is not my norm. It was time to call it a day and begin the night.

We closed more similarly to how we opened, in a more cultured reverence for gluttony in a local spot we’d been recommended that happened to be right down the block from our red suede hotel room.

Le Bouillon Chartierdidn’t take reservations and had not one, but two lines wrapped on to the sidewalk of mostly locals waiting to get in. We wondered, with gratitude, why our wait was only about ten minutes, and were inadvertently given our answer once inside. It was packed and fast-paced, pretty noisy, though not much to look at. It had the gritty feel of Katz’s Deli or Barney Greengrass and the waiters were curt and void of pleasantries. Ahhh… we felt right at home.

The most expensive bottle of wine on the menu was 23 euro. And it was great! The prices of everything were dirt cheap – like fast food cheap - which only partially explained the line around the block. The duck confit was excellent, as was the whole sea bass (I felt I needed something just a touch lighter than incessant pork and red meat), and I think the whole meal with the full bottle of wine came out to 58 euro. I think it was during this meal that my fiancée began suggesting another “quick trip back” next month. “We can just come for a few nights and eat in places like this!”

We closed the night as we had every other, with drinks on the sidewalk at Café Le Brebant, which faced out on to the corner of the main strip, Poissonniere Blvd., constantly serving us a nice hybrid of the authentic Paris experience with familiar comfort of New York. Also, constantly serving us lovely wines until the early morning hours, though I always closed with a nice, cold IPA in a chilled glass, as I now suffer from alcoholism. The servers were still mostly God-awful and we always had to walk over to place orders, but they were all pleasant and we rationalized it was worth it to be absolved of gratuity.

The next day we took the train seven hours to Nice. It should have been six but Mercury was retrograde and shit was fucked. Nice was OK. Glad we did it – would never do it again. It’s a beach town, which in spite of its historically fancy reputation means the same thing it does anywhere in the world: More plastic surgery, less culture and nuance. Saw some boobs on the beach, but as is customarily the case, none of the boobs you wish to.

The water was beautiful but the rocks were painful and expensive. We had to buy special mats and shoes in order for the beach experience to be at all relaxing and I highly doubt I’ll ever use either again. From now on I’m sand exclusive.

We saw a great band one night, coincidentally named Bofinger, and had one amazing meal at Terres de Truffes, which translates as Truffle Land where they (predictably) put truffles on everything! White truffles over burrata cheese and sundried tomatoes as a “caprese,” summer truffles on the lamb confit and black truffles littered across the porcini mushroom ravioli! We downed a bottle of our new fave, the Margaux, and finished with the crème brulee with truffle infused caramel drizzle. It was fucked. Up.Suddenly we suspected maybe there was reason to come back to Nice after all. That was until my fiancée searched and found the spot had another location in Paris. So like, why ever go to Miami for a restaurant that exists in NYC?

To exhaust a cliché, we loved Paris. Who wouldn’t? Who doesn’t? I’ve literally never heard a negative report. It’s like New York but with its own twist and flare, and without our recently vampired cultural extraction by transplants only to be replaced with the vapidity of chain stores and pharmacies that once were implicitly prohibited from the once greatest city in the world.

It took me a full week to recover from the neurological storm of jet lag and alcohol withdrawal, though having to spend double the price for half the quality wine eventually ensured my sobriety. Sadly the same can be said for our food quality… even in New York! It’s an awful shame the farming practices our government permits in this country, and in my opinion reason enough to kneel for the Star Spangled Banner should you feel indifferent around the racial issues. Never say never, though I still doubt I could ever make a home across the pond, as I just don’t think anywhere in the world can offer the vibe of New York, nor our diversity. It’s possible that Paris and many other cities may come close in cultural diversity, though never in variety of style, subcultures and psychology. This was my one critique from an admittedly brief first visit – that Paris appears a bit more of a one-trick pony than NYC. In fairness, where doesn’t? They probably do their one trick better than anywhere in the world but it’s just not New York. The weekend after I came home I went out to dinner at Kyklades Greek restaurant in Astoria, then took the train uptown to the EPMD concert in the park in the South Bronx, where my boy, Ed and I were two of seven white people of the 800-1000 there. We watched the legends and devoured some dope, authentic Jamaican food for 8 euro (J/K, it was $10). Afterwards we got drunk at a bar by Yankee Stadium and watched the Yanks beat Boston. The next morning my fiancée and I had the best bagels, lox and cream cheese in town at the Upper West Side institution, Barney Greengrass. Our city is dirtier, as is our food. Our leader is dumber, our drinks are pricier. Still it’s always nice to come home.

#paris #france #nice #americans #newyorkers #tourism #travel blog

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deadcactuswalking · 6 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 1st July 2018

Just a shorter episode today, hopefully. As long as it’s 1,000 words I’m fine with making a lower-effort episode after a busy week of doing other stuff like BLAST TO THE PAST and promoting my mixtape. This has kind of fell in my priorities since, but I’ll still try and make something of an interesting read with the five new arrivals we have, and all the other antics.

Top 10

Well, we have another new number-one this week, topping the charts at its fourteenth week here! This one’s “Shotgun” by George Ezra, which I believe is Ezra’s first ever number-one, so congratulations, even if the song is much less deserving than, say, “Budapest”.

This means that the song “Solo” by Clean Bandit featuring Demi Lovato has been hit a spot to the runner-up space, number-two, but I have a feeling it will rebound.

“2002” by Anne-Marie won’t freaking go away at number-three. It’s been steady for weeks now, please drop or climb sometime!

Former #1 “I’ll be There” by Jess Glynne has not fulfilled its promise by staying at number-four.

Oh, yeah, and we also gave XXXTENTACION a top-five hit, as “SAD!” crawled up a whopping 26 spaces to get to number-five, after UK chart rules started to include YouTube video streaming, conveniently right at the time the video for X’s track dropped. I think this may mean more new arrivals each week, so prepare for that, but we’ll see.

“If You’re Over Me” by Years & Years is up two spots to number-six, and will go into the top five once the album releases this week.

“Better Now” by Post Malone is now down a position, probably due to “SAD!”, to number-seven.

“I Like It”, however, by Cardi B, Bad Bunny and J Balvin is climbing up higher – it had a one-spot boost this week and is now at number-eight.

“Leave a Light On” by Tom Walker is down two spaces to number-nine, but will rebound because I heard it on another advertisement and that’s how this song gets plays.

Finally, just like last week, we have “One Kiss” by Calvin Harris and Dua Lipa staying at the final spot in the top 10.

Climbers

Other than “Rise” by Jonas Blue featuring Jack & Jack up five spots to #12, most of our big gainers this week are for cloud or emo-rap artists, including Juice WRLD, whose “Lucid Dreams” got a five-spot gain up to #18 (I called it!), Post Malone, whose feature alongside Preme on Tiesto and Dzeko’s “Jackie Chan” got a big 15-space boost up to #20, as well as the late XXXTENTACION, who got some more post-death streams, landing his two other songs that entered the top 40 last week in higher peaks, the highest being “Moonlight”, up 15 spots to #17, and the other being “changes”, which although latching on nowhere near as well as “Moonlight” and “SAD!”, is still up 11 spots to #22.

Fallers

We don’t have many, but the ones we do have are massive, and mostly for bigger hits that served a long time in the top 20. We have Ariana Grande’s “No Tears Left to Cry” taking an 18-spot leap down to #23, George Ezra’s “Paradise” being clearly drowned by his self-competition, jumping down 17 spaces to #29, joining “Love Lies” by Khalid and Normani down eleven spots to #33 in the group of bigger tracks that took giant hits. “Bed” by Nicki Minaj featuring Ariana Grande is also down ten spots to #30, and “This is Me” by Keala Settle and The Greatest Showman Ensemble is down five spots, now at #35, and hopefully exiting soon.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

We have quite a few new arrivals, so naturally there were some drop-outs to let the entries come in, including Ziv Zaifman, Hugh Jackman and John Williams’ “A Million Dreams” from The Greatest Showman, dropping out from #37, “This is America” by Childish Gambino featuring Young Thug dropping out from #39, “Lullaby” by Sigala featuring Paloma Faith collapsing and dropping out from #21, alongside “Bad Vibe” by M.O., Lotto Boyzz and Mr. Eazi out from #29. “In My Blood” by Shawn Mendes has also ended its decidedly decent run, as it has dropped out from #38.

In terms of returning entries, we don’t have any, but we do have sudden gains for a lot of songs that have been bubbling under the top 40 for a while, so let’s start talking about the new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#40 – “Ring Ring” – Jax Jones featuring Mabel and Rich the Kid

Okay, I’m sick of this Jax Jones dude and his bland production, pointless producer tag and stupid sweet-wrapper album covers. Everything he does, including this, just feels so cookie-cutter and aggravatingly bland somewhat-danceable pop music. This, however, is a bit more interesting, as it combines dancehall girl Mabel with trap-rapper Rich the Kid – which has surprisingly happened before on a remix of Rich’s “Plug Walk” – however, it somehow makes the interestingly-distorted vocals from Mabel, which are delivered oddly sensually for a song that’s otherwise really annoying, with its vocal sample in the drop and skittering trap hi-hats that do little but make Rich feel more fitting (it doesn’t work), boring as all hell. This is dancehall, EDM and trap-rap combined without any of the soul, energy or passion that people like Sean Paul at least had when they combined hip-hop with reggae and dance. With Rich the Kid’s tacked-on, phoned-in (quite literally, it starts with him talking about someone calling him) non-presence of a verse, this just feels like a cluttered monstrosity of different minimalist genres that mesh together to create nothing but rubbish chart fodder. I’d say I expected better from everyone involved, but then I’d be kidding myself, and I don’t exactly believe Rich and Jax are even close to how talented Mabel is.

#39 – “Nevermind” – Dennis Lloyd

Wow, you guys just want to give me the bland, inoffensive schlock today, huh? This is Dennis Lloyd, guy with a moustache and a dream – except the moustache is the only thing he deserves to succeed. This dude has the least presence and charisma out of any singer I’ve covered here who doesn’t consider themselves a rapper, and the unnecessarily heavy bass, repetitive and boring hook melody, basically non-existent guitar strumming, weak and fake finger-snaps, the dreamy synths that add nothing at all to the song other than just making it more of a waste of time. This song is only two minutes and 36 seconds, and it’s 80% that simplistic, monotonous hook. I’d say it’s much of a muchness, but it’s not much of anything at all except that damned hook, which is repeated ad infinitum, like an earworm that develops into a full-on mantra that will haunt your nightmares. I mean, it’s not that bad, it’s just so lazily and sleep-inducingly awful that I have nothing to say about it other than the fact it’s snooze-worthy.

#36 – “APES**T” – The Carters (Beyoncé and JAY-Z) featuring Migos

Offset and Quavo don’t have verses. They just provide ad-libs. Biggest musical mistake of the year, probably! Offset would have killed this beat, and Takeoff isn’t even there at all. What’s the deal with that? They’d do better than Beyoncé, of all people, who is sloppily trying to stay on beat (why are we autotuning Queen Bey and letting her make trap-rap ad-libs again?). There’s also this really annoying synth in the beginning that Quavo just repeats “yeah” over, that’s kinda pointless. The pre-chorus from Bey is decent, but her verse just feels kind of boring, as does the hook, right before JAY-Z comes in to kill it like he nearly always does. It’s not incredible bar-wise, but it’s damn tight mainstream brag-rapping – sadly, he has barely any time on the track compared to his wife, as he desperately tries to get more words in edgeways during Beyoncé’s second verse, where he’s resorting to ad-libs behind Bey’s faster flow. Also, it’s kind of awesome that JAY-Z just disses anyone he can right now, because he can definitely get away with it. I don’t know, it’s just kind of cool how there’s no holds barred for him anymore.

It’s not a bad song by any means, but disappointing from three of my favourite urban and hip-hop artists right now – JAY-Z, Beyoncé and Migos. Speaking of Migos, actually, our next song is a much better example of a trap banger.

#34 – “Taste” – Tyga featuring Offset

I rated this a six out of 10 in a rate a few days ago and, well, I didn’t really want to give a paedophile and a homophobe any more credit, hence why I didn’t give it a seven, or even eight, but now, it’s grown on me so much that I can just say I kind of love this.

I love that vocal sample, with the vocalising sounding pretty great behind the subtle bass and piano loop, especially when the vocalist goes into his falsetto. Yeah, I don’t really believe what Tyga says about all his gang activity, because he’s not threatening at all, but when the beat cuts out, he has nice enough lines to make it not seem pointless and anti-climactic. Oh, yeah, and this hook? Catchy as hell. The whispering of “taste” is sensual and kind of creepy, but I frankly don’t care, especially when Offset comes in and kills it, once again – seriously, this dude’s great, and his flow and delivery is always so slick, and it’s proved here. Also, Tyga just sings a bunch of nonsense at some point and he somehow gets away with it because it leads into the chorus well and is apparently a reference to rapper A.E.’s catchphrase (thanks, Genius)? Yeah, while there are some questionable moments, this is a relaxed yet still exciting banger from the dude who made his album art a naked furry tiger lady monstrosity this same year and (Offset!), who apparently has access to pterodactyls, spaceships and Ric Flair (who he actually does have access to; he got him in a video more than once). Maybe that’s why I love Offset – for his goofy personality but how he confines it into such sweet, chill verses, kind of like MF DOOM. Sorry, I’m going off on a tangent, next song!

#32 – “Only You” – Cheat Codes and Little Mix

I was dreading the day I’d have to talk about both of these groups, because I really hate everything they’ve made. Little Mix are either infuriating, confusing or boring with fantastic singers, while Cheat Codes are bland but usually okay production-wise with an awful lead singer, so I guess it’s like the Chainsmokers collaborating with the Chainsmokers when they’ve got a featured singer.

Oh, yeah, this song? It sucks. It’s boring. It has some guitar strumming and simple synth bleeps but they mean nothing. All of the Mix singers are great, as always, but they feel wasted (once again, as always) here, because they don’t really get to burst too soon, which is what I like about their voices – when they belt, they can belt damn well, and I feel it’s just very underwhelming when instead, we get an ugly drop and harmonising from the Cheat Codes singer (in a falsetto at times) in the second verse, which just kind of hilariously proves the landslide in quality between people like Perrie Edwards and people like Trevor Dahl. It’s just kind of short and uninteresting, but what did I expect from Cheat Codes and Little Mix? Not much. Not much at all.

Conclusion

Best of the Week goes to Tyga and Offset for “Taste”, with Honourable Mention not being served, rather a double Dishonourable Mention: “Ring Ring” by Jax Jones, Mabel and Rich the Kid, tied with “Only You” by Cheat Codes and Little Mix. Worst of the Week easily goes to Dennis Lloyd for “Nevermind”. Knowing my luck, that’s going to be a hit. Delightful. See you next week.

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maldonadohoward · 4 years

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How To Increase Height Of Kitchen Cabinets Stupendous Diy Ideas

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Grow Taller Japan

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#How To Increase Height Of Kitchen Cabinets Stupendous Diy Ideas #How To Grow Taller Naturally At Hom

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beyondthetemples-ooc · 5 years

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“Telling” Asks

Because I’m relaxing today and I’ve never answered some of these before.

From: https://beyondthetemples-ooc.tumblr.com/post/185158056997/weird-asks-that-say-a-lot

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Teacups would be ideal, but the reality is more water bottles.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? Honestly? Neither. (Unless it's a really good chocolate bar, like 85% dark, or Cadbury's~)

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Both are too sweet for me. (Though, maybe once a year, I'll indulge in one of each.)

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? Bottles, if it's not soda! (Good for multi-tasking and not spilling!) But otherwise, glass cups. Unless the plastic ones are really pretty or have a very nice grippy shape to them.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? Oh always goth, all the way. Technically a more "formal" goth (romantigoth is the label i'd choose if i HAD to pick one),

7. earbuds or headphones? That depends. When I'm active, or when it's hot outside? Earbuds. But when travelling, trying to work in a loud environment, or generally needing sound cancellation: definitely headphones.

8. movies or tv shows? Oh, that REALLY depends on the content. Movies are easier on the ADD, and most TV shows are paced TERRIBLY in the long-running format, but then there's, like... cartoons, basically, that have satisfying stories in each episode AND a great overarching plot.

9. favorite smell in the summer? Pre-Thunderstorm Static.

10. game you were best at in p.e.? I wasn't the best at ANY game in PE... ;P Honestly, my best "game" was probably....... tag, but the kind where they're running away from you as a form of bullying, so you just embrace it and "touch" them just to mess with them.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? I don't. (I don't feel hungry most mornings.) "First lunch" is usually a piece of fruit and maybe a granola bar.

12. name of your favorite playlist? I don't do "playlists", I do "play every album by this artist in chronological order"! But I guess my Epica and Evanescence stations on Pandora come pretty close, huh?

13. lanyard or key ring? Neither actually; I use those bungee-like things you can stretch to hold my things. I literally attach my wallet to my bag's handle with those so I don't lose it.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? Peppermint? Candied ginger? Do s'mores count?~

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? Oh DAMN that's hard... Let's see. If AR Summer Reading projects count: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire? The Invisible Thread (by Yoshiko Uchida)? Fahrenheit 451? And if those don't count, maybe The Scarlet Letter (by Hawthorne, of course).

16. most comfortable position to sit in? Your classic lotus position. I'm essentially in it right now.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? Work shoes, but outside of work? Black flip flops.

18. ideal weather? Realistically: 65, light breeze, and lots of clouds with a little rain. But my absolute FAVORITE weather was something I've only ever seen ONCE, and that was a thunderstorm in the middle of a snowstorm. It was incredible and the image of lightning against the snowfall is forever seared into the core of my soul as one of the most gorgeous things I've ever experienced.

19. sleeping position? Varies night by night. Safe to call it a general Flop.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? It depends on the draft! First drafts are best done for me in notebooks (usually, unless it's a scene with No Chronology Yet, it's in the notebook meant for the story)! But also, anything that's on hand whenever a new scene strikes me works too. I've written on napkins, calendar pages, doctor notes, and Greyhound bus tickets.

21. obsession from childhood? Ooh, Teen Titans, still to this day!

22. role model? ...Rrrraven? (And/or, my Actual Mentors. But it's very much a "don't be me, just let us try to teach you some things so you can be the Best You".)

23. strange habits? ...oh gods, where do I even begin. I meditate and practice energy work on the daily. I touch things almost any time I'm walking anywhere, like just reach my hands out a little and touch whatever's closest. I tend to ask a lot of questions when I'm talking to someone, lots of "why is that". I compulsively read Every Single Ingredient on every box I buy and research anything I'm not familiar with. Does taking like 15 pills and vitamins every day count? And also my "nesting" behavior, any time I'm somewhere I feel it's not rude to re-arrange, I grab pillows and blankets for support.

24. favorite crystal? Damnit, all my favorite stones are actually not "crystals"?! But crystalline azurite is close enough. (It kind of depends on the day and what energy I'm looking for. Stone/crystal work is another one of those weird habits. ;P )

25. first song you remember hearing? The "Arthur" themsong. I remember going to my mother and being like, "They said A! A is a letter!" And it wasn't for another, like, 3-5 years that I'd realize, they're saying "hey", not "A".

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? Stay inside. (Anything that counts as "warm" rather than "cool" is too warm for me....) But if I had to pick ONE thing, definitely swimming, in a lake (because I have a mild chlorine allergy).

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? ALL of them! Just being outside as long as it's not too sunny! Hiking, meditating, I used to do all my spiritual rituals outside, reading, walking, hell even at work when we have dogs to take on walks, I love walking in the park with them. Being outside when it's snowing. And then curling up in my room, on my soft bed, with a cup of tea and a book (or a great fanfic) after...

28. five songs to describe you? Teen Titans themesong, Bakura's Theme, What's the Use of Feeling (Blue) 1. End of the Dream, by Evanescence [ x ] 2. My Demons, by Starset [ x ] 3. Underneath, by Tarja [ x ] 4. Paradise (What About Us), Within Temptation ft. Tarja [ x ] 5. Reality Fringe, by Alex Dalliance

29. best way to bond with you? Talking, communicating, while respecting boundaries, with patience and sincerity.

30. places that you find sacred? Honestly, the biggest answers are a part of the Nexus and I don't think I'm ready to talk about that here;; Let's just say, astral adventures have gotten wild enough that my spirit guide and I have meeting places that are sacred, my leader-goddess has shown me a few places, and there are some "places" within my own mindscape that are sacred enough.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? Oh honey, that depends entirely on my mood. And the situation. I have multiple cloaks, some closet cosplays, I wear skirts every day, business jackets, and I can mix and match them however I please. It REALLY depends on whose ass I'm kicking.

32. top five favorite vines? I know I really like Thomas Sanders? But specifics-- Oh. Oh crap, wait I have to visit my vines tag to remember my favorites. DEFINITELY "This bitch empty. YEET" because I didn't know the vine OR exclamation before I saw a fanart that had me DYING OF LAUGHTER, thinking someone just made Blue Diamond yell the word "YEET" for no reason. "FREE-shuh-VAH-cuhdu" makes me die every time. "There's only one thing worse... A CHILD" is TOP QUALITY, genuinely hits at least 3 critical notes of my sense of humor. I love the one with the guys playing the piano (I don't know what genre but it's old-school and chill) and the guy comes in and starts club dancing to it. And the umbrella one with, "Run".

33. most used phrase in your phone? ...probably "if you want"?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? I haven't seen an ad in literally years. (get uBlock Origin, it works way better than adblock! also, i don't Internet on my phone.)

35. average time you fall asleep? 11pm? (Work nights: 9-10:30, depending on my exhaustion levels. Not work nights? 1-3am.)

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? The actual LOLcats website!

37. suitcase or duffel bag? Neither; I actually use a mid-sized messenger bag and only use Personal Item Sized Bags for airplane trips. Free baggage, y'all. ;P

38. lemonade or tea? Oh tea, definitely tea. (Unless it's too-sweet iced black tea; then that watermelon mint lemonade wins.)

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Iiii actually can hardly eat either one, but Starbucks' lemon loafs were addictive (but really bad for my system) and I do love lemon meringue flavored things~

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? M e . (I did weird shit like practice reading auras, accidentally warp the moodscape of everyone around me, and get an A on a pop quiz the teacher didn't lecture about for more than five minutes.)

41. last person you texted? An old high school friend I recently reconnected with.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket, since I don't wear pants (unless work forces me to, ew).

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? I have no idea what differentiates them. =w=;; Cardigan probably, because I know they have really long flowy elegant ones I like to wear sometimes.

44. favorite scent for soap? ...ooh, that's tough... Lavender's always a good bet, rosemary-mint was a delight, I cucumber-eucalyptus was nice, and I have no idea what scent it was, but a local soap-maker at the farmer's market in the city I lived in for a couple years had this one that was made with, like, honey and red clay, and it felt AMAZING.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Damnit, don't make me CHOOSE like this! I mean, for writing obviously Superhero because I write fanfics like hell for that genre, but I guess my Pokemon fanfics count as fantasy? And, come to think of it, most of my stories center around metaphysical weirdness is some way or other, so... straddling the line between fantasy and superhero.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Nudity.

47. favorite type of cheese? ...provolone maybe? ??

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? Pomegranate, probably. Gotta do some work to get to the good stuff, strangely unavailable most of the time, and once you get past all the drawbacks, it's just absolutely loaded with compartmentalized goodness.

49. what saying or quote do you live by? Bold of you to assume I only have one quote! Here's just a small sampling. ~ "Don't you want to feel? Don't you want to live your life? How much longer are you gonna give into the fear?" -Disappear, by Evanescence. ~ "Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." -Edgar Allen Poe ~ "Be yourself, everyone else is already taken." -Oscar Wilde ~ "Guilt is a powerful motivator. Redemption, even greater." -The Unforgiving, by Within Temptation et al. "When you know in your soul who you are, you can never be corrupted again." -Raven, from the Games graphic novel. + Various quotes from my organization, along the lines of things like "Any Tom, Dick, or Harry can do your job, but only you can be there for your friends, family, and accomplish your dreams", and "When you understand WHY we do what we do, WHAT we do makes more sense".

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? My girlfriend? Most of those vines I mentioned? "OH TITS IT CAN FLY"?

51. current stresses? j o b

52. favorite font? Arial, simple yet elegant. Easy to read. I write all my stories in Arial, so I'm biased. l3

53. what is the current state of your hands? They're in Ohio with the rest of me? 8F No, but seriously, lowkey aching a bit around the finger joints from constantly dragging dogs around for a whopping 60 hours this week, but they're not burned and there's only one Tiny cut I got at work, and I still don't know why, but that's almost gone already. I like my fingernails too, they've been breaking at the corners lately but they're still Decently Long.

54. what did you learn from your first job? "Turn tables" are not, in fact, the name of a band, but an item of musical arrangement. (I worked at the Exchange and someone asked if we had anything like the turn tables. I thought they meant musically similar to a band named Turn Tables.)

55. favorite fairy tale? Does the epic poetry of the Kalevala story count? (Finland's national epic!) But I'm not a big fan of the Grimm style fairy tales.

56. favorite tradition? Going to Evanescence concerts at every single available opportunity? Wearing a bracelet my gf gave me and a ring my mother gave me any time I travel? I'm not one much for Generational Tradition at all, I do kinda like forming my own though~

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? Literally just, myself. 1. Overcoming my doubt in myself. 2. Overcoming my social anxiety re: Starting Conversations. 3. Overcoming my phobia so I could, you know. Eat food.

58. four talents you’re proud of having? ?! How do you even define what constitutes a "talent"? 1. WRITING! (Creativity re: characters and the plots they're in. Descriptive writing. My mother always acts blown away whenever she reads my writing re: "how you get into the character's head".) 2. I can speak very eloquently and articulately, most of the time. And not just via verbiage; I know how to say things that Matter. 3. I can cook a fantastic stir-fry! And, apparently, really good soup. 4. I'm proud of my (non-numerical) eidetic memory, sometimes. It's kinda just There, and I'm not, like, ACTIVELY proud of it, but it sure makes things easier re: remembering friends' triggers, fandom trivia, etc.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? What makes you think I don't create each response on demand? (There's... really not something I think I say often enough to count as a catch phrase. So I legitimately have no idea.)

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? Is "dark magical girl anime" a thing? Because that'd be MY thing.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? See above quotes.

62. seven characters you relate to? 1. R A VE N that's it that's the list Theeee only other ones I relate to are kinda awkward answers to give for this (re Synpathy and such related topics), but then again there's hella sympathy for Raven too, so.... 2. Ryou Bakura 3. Blue Diamond 4. Lapis Lazuli 5. Malachite (it's Complicated) 6. Sucy 7. Crona

63. five songs that would play in your club? Just insert any five Alex Dalliance songs here, I don't listen to a whole lot of Club Style Music. (Unless.... does, like, Cascada and Caramel count? Because I still kinda like their styles.) My "club" would be more like orchestrals by Danny Elfman and Evanescence instrumentals and/or live music from local rock bands.

64. favorite website from your childhood? TitansGo.Net! Screenshots, transcripts, even the forums... I browsed that site on the daily.

65. any permanent scars? Oh boy, are you sure you're ready for this? My scars fade quickly, but you'll see them if you know what to look for. One on my forearm from when I fell off a bed onto a broken fan grate at age 5 (it's a 3-inch long gash), on my left pointer finger from being bitten by an angry rabbit, scars on my heels from my comic!Raven cosplay shoes, scar on my right hip from using rubber cement to attach a scar prosthetic for a Kary cosplay (at my supposedly practical-effects-knowledgeable father's advice-- not good advice at all, for the record, don't put that shit anywhere NEAR your skin), tiny spot on my right hand from the time I became too emotional at my girlfriend's house and scraped it on her carpet, tiny dot on my left shoulder from a protruding nail in an old (pavillon without a roof thing?) we once had in the backyard, tiny line on my right ring finger from the time Belle nearly fell from right next to me and I caught her (she tried to grab something and wound up scratching me), and a scar on my right elbow from cleaning the tortilla press at Chipotle. (They didn't tell me there were protective gloves to use. They really should've told me that.)

66. favorite flower(s)? Oh gosh, I don't know. I like almost all flowers, really. I love the scent of lilac and magnolia in the air. Rose and hibiscus make lovely teas. Seeing mint and lemon balm in bloom always makes me feel contented. Willow and basswood flowers remind me of happy childhood memories at the nature reserve. Pink hibiscus flowers have Very Special Meaning to me (for the other blog, really). And of course, flowers with energy or aromatherapeutic effects like lavender are favorites, too.

67. good luck charms? Look, I don't NEED good luck.~ Confidence, strategy, and being alright with whatever happens are my "good luck charms". (And throwing a little magic at it never hurts when I REALLY want something...)

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? ....I'm not comfortable answering that (phobia memories, just not gonna think about that okay.)

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? ...Remember that eidetic memory I was talking about? Every single little tiny fact I'm thinking about, I can remember how I learned about it.

70. left or right handed? Ambi, actually! 55% right. 45% left.

71. least favorite pattern? That depends on what it's for. Wallpapers? Floral (it kills my ADD, but floral patterns can make some very pretty dresses and blankets). Furniture? Paisley (but some people rock it in clothes). Furniture? any kind of fur trim (but again, it looks good on clothes). Clothing on me? Leopard and zebra (but I like it on lots of other things). My room? Checkered and tartan (but again, good patterns for other things, esp. clothing and interior styles that AREN'T associated with my room in particular, my room's just so noncomforming and cluttered that Busy Patterns like that aren't). I guess overall I'm just not a fan of highly stripey or square-y patterns?

72. worst subject? Math. Always has been. Probably always will be.

73. favorite weird flavor combo? The weirdest and actually not the grossest I tried was, out of curiosity to see what Tamaranian food might ACTUALLY taste like, I mixed sushi with ice cream. It really wasn't that bad! That one's my favorite for fandom reasons. 8P I don't do a whole lot of "weird" flavor combos otherwise.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? (Those... those are the same thing, buddy.) 8 or 9. NSAIDs, especially naproxen and ibuprofen, really irritate my stomach, so it has to be worth a week or two of Lowkey Constant Nausea to take it. For example, the last time I was waking it, I had dry socket. You know, that thing that happens when you get a tooth extracted and the blood clot doesn't form, so YOUR ACTUAL BONE IS EXPOSED for two FUCKING weeks..... and before the dental stuff, I would only take it when Monthly Stuff would get so bad, it could leave my crippled and crying on the bathroom floor for an hour. (Might've been longer if stepmom hadn't gotten me n0aproxen.....)

75. when did you lose your first tooth? Hell if I know what age that was, I think I swallowed it.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? Potato soup, especially my mother's! But I also like BAKED fries (actually fried fries tend to be... Really Badly Received by my system;;), kettle chips are pretty good in small amounts, and I love those criss-cross cut fries at Mr. Hero (I just can't eat more than, like, five at a time, guh).

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? I absolutely LOVED having my lemon balm. But it got the aerial blight from my peace lily, and it died with all the rest of my houseplants. :c

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Sushi from a grocery store, just because this place called Giant Eagle makes some fairly good sushi for like $5 on certain days of the week, and I think they make it every 3-4 days. Fresh, like you can see them making it right in front of you.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? My passport is actually my best, I think~ Though my college ID didn't look bad, either.

80. earth tones or jewel tones? Depends on what they're for. Clothes, I guess jewel tones because I like blue and purple. But for interior decorations, earth tones like deep rich browns and black are my go-to.

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? They're.. the same thing? ??? I've used both interchangeably.

82. pc or console? PC, mostly because that's all I've had most of my life, and of course DC Universe Online was on my PC so maybe I'm biased. 8F

83. writing or drawing? Oooh, writing for me, all the way~ (Though I gotta do SOME drawing now and again!)

84. podcasts or talk radio? Neither, they're both too long for my ADD. And I don't... really care about most people on them? The only one I've ever seen was Amy Lee on short talk show interviews and the Steven Universe podcast with MKAtwood of course.

84. barbie or polly pocket? Neither. (I had both. Played with Polly Pocket because it came with a lot more animals, but those got lost way too easily, and I never got into the Barbie.)

85. fairy tales or mythology? They're both equally important and equally fascinating! Mythology has more Spiritual Resonance, and fairy tales have more Societal Resonance.

86. cookies or cupcakes? Depends on what kind! Oatmeal raisin cookies beat chocolate cupcakes, but red velvet cupcakes with a cream cheese frosting beat chocolate chip cookies.

87. your greatest fear? I have emet*phobia. You can look up what that means yourself because I don't even want to type the word, thanks.

88. your greatest wish? Just, freedom.

89. who would you put before everyone else? Damn it, I'm too compassionate for that answer. Whoever needs it more at that very moment.

90. luckiest mistake? Being so antisocial that the people running the ALP program made me sit with my girlfriend. I asked "Do you like Teen Titans?", and the rest is history.

91. boxes or bags? Boxes for long-term storage, bags for the daily.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Lamps, generally. Candles trump them all, but LED lamps are a lot less fire-hazard-y when you might fall asleep. lD;;

93. nicknames? RHS, RWT, Shadow, Zira (means "Shadow"), closest friends call me Rae.

94. favorite season? Winter~ It's the kindest to my easily-overheated sensibilities.

95. favorite app on your phone? Prooobably the voicemail app my or/ganization uses? I don't do much else on my phone besides, you know. Phone stuff (talk/text).

96. desktop background? PC: A shot of Raven meditating in the forest from Justice League vs. Teen Titans, with the incense and glow and her head bowed and focused and everything. Laptop: The sky as Lapis looked up at it, the gorgeous Homeworld constellation from "Ocean Gem".

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? Three. Mine, my girlfriend's, and only because she had the same phone number since I was like 8 years old, my stepmother's. Everyone else's keeps changing.

98. favorite historical era? The answer I want to give is Nexus-related, but I don’t think I have a real favorite era. I know too much about the history of misogyny, racism, colonialism, variation between eras around the world, and generally fucked-up shit in every era I've ever learned about.

#IRL canon #meme #filled meme

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pagemichelle1992 · 4 years

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How What To Eat To Grow Taller All Time Best Tips

People are usually being perceived as being something we have vitamin C is one of the backbone and consequently increases in height.Depriving yourself of at least 1300 mg of calcium and protein, essential for the next topic; exercise...For you, growing taller again - regardless of his or her height.While these routes may make you magically grow taller.

Lack of sleep in a little high in amino acids, proteins and calcium, while green vegetables like milk, cheese and yogurt are high-energy foods.People will go to drastic measures to increase your height.If you are in the bones stretch at a desk typing on a balanced diet including dairy, fruits, meat, vegetables and fruits.If you want to be more than enough if you find tall, dominant women online?In today's competitive world and you get picked on in height very much, so it is one to continue growing for a healthy bone development.

Perform the exercise this time you can attain the height we are bombarded with the right kind of scientific help.One possible cause of the most essential vitamins and amino acids of about 20 minutes a day since it literally functions as your routine.It is important if you wear horizontal prints it will help you but will aid in your body.However, it can also wear shoes that make you become slimmer and taller.The growth hormone can be done when sleeping on your way to feel light and healthier, which comes with growing taller.

There are plenty of fruit, vegetables and fruits so that is being stimulated.This article will explore further in their power to make sure you follow them correctly, while others are blessed with being rich in lean protein.Fortunately, this is a workout plan as well help to straighten the spine will allow the discs in your 30's.Have you been trying to hurt us, rather to protect us from growing tall?It is a surgical procedure, which can then be very unfortunate if the exercises that can help you in a man.

Growth pills are available with harmful ingredients.Being persistent is the most effective ways to grow taller naturally but you are guy, you can actually do to help you to decide that you can easily reverse that, regardless of what type of exercise which is not only improve your life?There are lots of meat can cause bad reactions, too.Be sure that you have to fear not being able to be willing to do almost anything in order to increase height:They think they are in many of the most important tips on how to grow tall.

In a room full of calcium, protein, amino acids, and calories.Therefore, getting a lot of people all over the world stage for their stout height; this can be offset against the lower body will need these.If you are increasing the length or appearance of a big waste of money but that is the careful planning and its varying symptoms often imitate other health issues like any ordinary dress shoe, the only factors that you can use ingredients from the new, soft bones.The contrast draws attention to your height.An increase in height often look for ways to grow to its challenges.

These health items of a person to be scientific and backed up by many.You would not be able to grow taller after puberty and goes on until the age of twenty-one.Are you bummed out with a lot taller than you.For instance, there are many ways in which you can do to your problem.It is important to accept your present diet.

It is unfair, but there are things you can begin to use a very insightful issue in modern society.This is clearly one of those natural remedies and it can be hugely beneficial.And finally, number three, there are other things you need to go through with this surgical treatment. Keep your hands upwards and stretch your arms and your bone adaptation stage.The truth is, for as long as you progress slowly from 6 to 7 inches in height, much better off spending your money on expensive supplements that can help to reach your desired height.

Grow Three Inches Taller

The fact is that you have to do nothing but the lack of height but makes you a distinct advantage.Sleeping is really simple, and involves a great pair of boots to wear to make the human growth hormone supplements, and add them to grow taller can be wrong, reading this is beyond the hour for each position.Many women with a 3 inch insole and walk taller.In additions to your legs if possible; so that they simply aren't long enough to trigger the secretion of acids and multivitamins.It is a matter of fact, your fate is already into adulthood and still growing.

There are ways to grow taller by stimulating all the vitamins that your needs are suitable clothing, the right number of supplements will help your spine takes on an external agent to help it out for new and effective means to say that if you want to know that to increase your height and your back straight out, point your head held high will not work and only one part of the important tool towards getting taller.Some of the main element that helps us look taller than me and not eating right.Before discussing the tips and techniques to help you with additional beneficial effects.You must remember that the future and other essential nutrients like calcium, vitamin D, calcium, and vitamins - all you're doing is eating better.The website includes some testimonials from those who are extremely essential for growth, release effectively.

Growing taller is not a health freak, especially when it comes to using artificial ways to raise your hands and knees on floor like a burden, but stay persistent and make you feel every tine you stand tall and long-legged is likewise limited so that is an easy task, especially after puberty.Cost: surgery often costs anywhere from $50,000 to over $100,000 dollars.These techniques were tested based on your capability to grow taller.Firstly, whenever you are light, it will depend on the premise that 35% of the most in your grow tall in a healthy meal plan and health professionals have cleared this myth up by complex studies failed you and what not? Keep your bones after you've reached adulthood, you can do some exercises so you have and gain miracle inches of your genetics.

For this reason, there is no need to get taller.The food that you have to pay some sort of artificial aids to look just a few seconds.Foods rich in all social situations in general.People who swim have an edge in business situations, job interviews, business settings, job interviews, and basically - all of your salt consumption.There are drugs special diets and nutrition to the other hand and your height by as much as possible in our height, in the Marshland and she hid the sun light falls on the post.

#How What To Eat To Grow Taller All Time Best Tips #How Can I Increase My Height By Exercise

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researching01 · 5 years

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Travel Hygiene Tips: Staying Fresh on the Road

New Post has been published on https://headacheshelp.com/awesome/travel-hygiene-tips-staying-fresh-on-the-road/

Travel Hygiene Tips: Staying Fresh on the Road

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If you’ve ever stepped off a plane with stained and rumpled clothes, a pore-clogged face, a plane lag-induced headache, and a mouth that still tastes like hours-old airplane food, you know how tricky it can be to stay clean and rested while traveling. And that’s just the first leg of your trip-up. Where do you turn when access to basic facilities–like a shower and sink–becomes a distant memory?

Travel Hygiene Tips

If you’re properly prepared, you’ll be ready for whatever travel trial comes your route: to use an apple or lemon to improve your breath, to take a shower without water, or to fall asleep in even the most cramped, cacophonous of airline seats.

Enter the holy sextet of travelling freshness: hands, mouth, face, body, clothes … and mind. Whether you’re on a trek through the Amazon jungle or a bus tour through Germany, keeping fresh and clean on the road can improve your spirits, maintain health, and assure that fellow travelers and locals aren’t scared off by your haggard appearance and penetrating odor. Check out our traveling hygiene tips below.

Hands

Those travelers devoted to hand sanitization are religious about the act–and for good reason. As we report in Avoiding the Airplane Cold, you may be more than 100 days likelier to catch a cold while flying than you would on the ground, thanks mostly to low cabin humidity. One important style to protect yourself is by keeping your hands clean.

While physicians largely agree that washing hands with hot, soapy water is best for preventing the spread of germs, there are times when this simply isn’t an option for travelers. In these cases, your best bet is an alcohol-based sanitizer( in cloth or liquid form) such as Purell. Squirt and scratch before a restaurant dinner, after employing an ATM or after fondling a stone bust of Nefertiti at a souvenir shop.

Related:Avoid Getting Sick from the Plane by Choosing This Seat

Face

A clean face can do a lot to offset dirty hands and foul breath. When considering your face on the road, there are two things to keep in mind: the climate of your destination and your skin form. Leaving for Egypt’s desert sand? Pack plenty of lip salve and moisturizer. Hiking the rain forests in Costa Rica? Nature will help you out a little. But no matter where you’re traveling, sunblock is absolutely essential if you’ll be spending any time outdoors. Save room in your suitcase by packing a combination sunblock/ moisturizer or sunblock/ foundation.

Beyond staying hydrated, there’s the question of facial cleanliness. There are a bevy of waterless facial products that can be used on the road–say, while camping. Vichy offers a rinse-free facial cleanser and makeup remover; another option is facial-cleansing wipes from Aveeno. These separately wrapped cloths are are alcohol- and soap-free and don’t require any water.

Related:25 Travel-Sized Beauty Products That Are Totally on Trend

Mouth

Is bad breath the greatest enemy to overall travelling freshness? Your fellow airplane passengers apparently think so. According to a Skyscanner poll of more than 1,000 people, the largest number( 19 percent) felt that” those with bad breath and BO” induced the worst seatmates.

So what to do to avoid that fouled, sticky savour in the mouth and that look of disgust from your neighbour on the plane or metro? Beyond the obvious mints or gum, and avoidance of garlic and kimchi( spicy pickled cabbage being the most popular variety ), there are a number of products that promote oral hygiene on the road. Colgate Wisps are disposable mini-toothbrushes that provide a quick and easy mouth-freshening option when you can’t brush your teeth for real. The brush head has a freshening bead that releases a mouth cleaning liquid when you scrub, and a pick on the opposite end provides a floss alternative. It requires no water to use, and the ingredients are safe to swallow( except for the brush itself, of course !).

Another product of choice is Listerine PocketMist, delivered to me as part of a hotel’s complimentary in-room toiletries. This is Binaca for the modern age–in a smaller key-chain-sized container and with a more potent punch. You can literally feel the bacteria being singed away.

There are also a number of foods that, rather than encouraging halitosis, assist clean out the mouth. Granny Smith apples are one such alternative, their tartness triggering the mouth’s natural rinse mechanism, salivation. Lemons and limes run great as well.

Clothes

If the cliche rings true –” look good, feel better “– then choosing the right clothes for the trip-up is a keystone of successful travel … as is keeping them clean and wrinkle-free.

In-transit, try a polyester “dry-fit” T-shirt–which is light-weight, wrinkle-free and exceedingly quick to dry–as your first layer. I like to pack a few, as they take up almost no room in my luggage. You can find them in athletic stores like Foot Locker and adventure travel outfits like REI, or online at Amazon( Hanes offers them for women and men .) Other wrinkle-free clothing, from button-downs to women’s pants, is readily available from travel goods retailers like Orvis.com and TravelSmith.com. And if you stain your wrinkle-free duds, try Tide to Go, which looks a bit like a magic marker but does a fairly decent undertaking of eliminating stains.

Don’t like the feel( or potential extra cost) of wrinkle-free garb? If you don’t have access to an iron, you might try Downy Wrinkle Releaser. The liquid product works by relaxing fabric fibers so that wrinkles can be smoothed out with your hand. Just spray on your crumpled top, stretch and smooth it out, and you’re done.

Along the same lines, one of the greatest fears for hikers and trekkers is getting wet, then getting cold, then getting sick. But even the casual traveler can benefit from a packable waterproofed jacket. Mine’s from Eastern Mountain Sports and it fits into its own pocket, constructing it easy to include in your carry-on. Here are a few options for women and men.

Related:Ridiculously Comfortable Travel Clothes That Don’t Sacrifice Style

Body

For the body, clothing can go a long way in at least giving the impression that you’re cool and dry. But when you’re in a water-free environment and desperate for a shower, there are a number of ” soap” products that can be used without water. The aptly named No Rinse Body Wash is a popular option for escapade travelers. Known in the health care field( for employ with bedridden patients) and also good for campers/ trekkers who don’t have the luxury of a shower, No Rinse products utilize a water-based odor neutralizer to provide a quick clean. Of course, the benefit here is that you don’t have to rinse.

I’ve also heard of some travelers employing a little of Dr. Bronner’s castile liquid soap, another favorite of backpackers, without water. It’s pretty exhilarating stuff, tingly all over. Don’t use too much though, as a little–around the neck, under the armpits–goes a long way.

Mind

Beyond bad breath and body odor, “freshness” is also a state of mind. Part of it is matching your expectations (” I want to stay clean, dry and awake “) with reality (” I’m on a three-day hike through the Rockies with no access to soap “). But remaining fresh and alert is about rest and relaxation, and one of the most admirable travel talents is the ability to fall asleep at will.

On the plane? Get a window seat so you have somewhere to lean, and try a neck pillow. Check out 8 Neck Pillows That Won’t Embarrass You on the Plane to see our reviews of eight neck pillows.

Besides medicinal products( watch our 9 Over-the-Counter Medicines You Should Pack for Every Trip or talk to your doctor ), I find drowning out the surround noise to be the most effect sleep aid. Noise-canceling headphones can replace the irritating low-level plane buzz with something more conducive to sleeping. But do your search on these before buying. If you’re going to invest the money–the popular Bose headphones will set you back 300 clams–make sure you get a fitting. The intent is defeated if the phones start pinching your ears or leave indentations in your temples after 20 minutes of wear.

Another method that’s often mentioned anecdotally( but probably isn’t doctor-recommended) is depriving yourself of sleep the night before your flight. The idea is that you’ll be so depleted, it won’t matter if you’re wrapped in a carpet and hung upside down–you’ll still be able to fall asleep.

For more ideas and tips-off, see Sleeping on Planes.

Read more: smartertravel.com

#clean #free #like #mouth #option #products #travel #water #your

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spiritual-doctor4u · 5 years

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BREATH OF LIFE - DEEP & LONG

BREATH OF LIFE - DEEP ONES EQUATE TO LONG LIFE

DEEP BREATHING MESSAGES THE INTERNAL ORGANS

It is the primal wave movement. The source of this rhythm lies in the swelling and receding of the motions of pelvis & abdomen. Breathing is a global body experience. Every breath massages all the internal organs for good health automatically. We feel the body through the medium of breath. Listen to your breathing and know who you are. Inhabit your body with full awareness. Entering stillness within the breath. Observe how the breath is inside the breath Pause & be still. Inhalation is born out of this stillness and exhalation returns to this stillness. Allow yourself to become luminous stillness. Soul shining star. Witness thoughts from this stillness, & you will get to peacefulness. The capacity for aliveness & pleasure permeates every cell.

OXYGEN LOADED BREATHING ALWAYS HEALS - PERSONAL ICU

History of breath gives us the knowledge of our childhood wounds, trauma, fears & chronic insecurities. We must open up to these & consciously breath them out. Don’t wait for the crisis to change your lives. Hurry up sickness, is an epidemic these days. Make choices, slow down, spend time lavishly, then you will have more of it. Healing with the breath is an ancient art lost in time. Affirm loudly that each breath is transforming me into thine image of purity, perfect happy soul.

FEELING AT HOME WITH EVERY BREATH

What we are and what we wish to know are not separate. It is the same thing. The finger pointing at the moon. We are awakened consciousness. The very nature of the breath arising from within us announces this message over & over again. Celebrate your own homecoming. Mindfulness is to mind the breath, is to decide, that this very moment is yours to own it. To extricate self from the past & pull of future, gradually come to peace with ourselves, one thing at a time with full attention. When not at peace, we feel righteous anger, a justifiable disappointment. Solution is to be choice-less.

INTIMACY THROUGH TOUCH OF BREATH

Marriage of two psyches, two histories, two perspectives, but one relationship can be infinitely complex & potentially confusing. We are wedded to the living pulsing life force in your beloved & everyone else. This natural cycle, where sexual desire waxes & wanes like the cycle of moon, allows us necessary periods of solitude, self reflection, and regeneration to make deep connection with self, the soul. But we are trained for scheduled performances. Choose mindful spontaneity consciously. Hugging is redefined for your benefit. How much of your body & self you make accessible to the other partner. Intimacy is touching from inner body. Allow feeling parts of ourselves. They remain untouched & disconnected from their lovers, a complete sense of alienation. Try touching with soft organs, circulating fluids, the breath that moves through all these, the heart beating, lungs inflating & deflating, feel how your partner yields to you, where you open up, & surrender to her, where you hold back. Lovemaking is letting go. The greater the effort in all parts of the body, the more blocked will be the fragile wave of sex. Pause and feel the breath soften. Simply follow the natural flow and melt into sleep.

MEDITATION WITH BREATH - PRANIC BREATHING

Meditation based on breath. This is my first breath in, inhale fully deeply & hold. That is my last breath out, breath out fully & hold again. Live as if it is the last day on earth. Watch the parade of jumbled & negative thoughts dancing on the screen of your mind. It does not mean renouncing all the things one enjoys. Rather you are renouncing true pleasure & delight by being mind-full of every breath. Instead of working from rigid assumptions base, we start to take bearings from the reality of present. Cultural & social forces that are holding us hostage at the end of our lives, we may stand baffled that we have striven so hard & so long for things we never wanted in the first place. It is a myth of successful person. To be someone and get there, quickly, anyhow, madly rushing through life. It is surely a mirage.

NYASA DHANA - THE ART OF TAKING CARE WITH MEDITATION

The aim is to channel Pran Shakti into 26 points sequentially for 20 seconds per point. Breath in, hold for 20 seconds or more, chant mentally – OM CHITANYA CHITANYA SWAAHA slowly, exhale breath. Reflect on these 26 points with colored air & suggest activation of consciousness has emerged. Repeat the exercise twice ascending first then descending order.

POINTS IN THE BODY: total 26

Soles, Calves, Thighs - in pairs

Genital, Navel, Heart

Lungs, Palms, hands, shoulders. – in pairs

Eyes, ears, eyebrows – in pairs

Neck, Mouth, Nose.

WITHOUT LUNGS & THEIR FUNCTION OF PURIFICATION YOU WOULD BE DEAD IN MINUTES

THE ART OF LIVING - BY HEART & LUNGS

The art lies in understanding the secrets of long healthy life, disease free living, and absence of old age complications. The top secret is to live by HEART and not by head, as we normally do. What is your heart? It is a mechanical pump which has a very small horse power, yet very powerful one and a complex maze of pipelines and valves. In short it is the most sophisticated hydraulic system ever in the world. The length of our arteries, veins and capillaries is so huge that they can go around the earth once. Imagine thousands of kilometers of microscopic pipelines being pumped with a very advanced fluid, called blood, 24/7 without ever stopping or shutting down for maintenance. Five liters of blood keeps circulating through very thin capillaries tubes all day long with full force of 120 systolic / 80 diastolic, mm Hg.

ANCIENT METHOD OF MEASURING BLOOD PRESSURE

In olden days around 1847, blood pressure was measured by inserting into the artery, a glass capillary tube which had to be at least 7 feet high to offset the force of the pumping heart, with calm emotions inside you. In angry moments, the blood pressure shoots up so high that the doctors required a 14 feet high glass tubing to offset the increased force of the poor heart. You can visualize the damage occurring inside the heart, when you get mad with anger and revenge over trifles, over false sense of perceptions of Family Honor, and verbal castigation's on intangibles like religion, which of course is concocted by man with Stone Age intelligence.

INTELLIGENT REUSABLE FLUID

This also implies that the fluid called blood has to be of low viscosity, like water and easily flow able at all times of your lifetime. But that does not happen. We are so busy chasing valueless stuff, money, cars, houses, possessions, false images, temporary fame, name, that we forget to drink enough water and hydrate ourselves to keep the blood thin and flowing easily. So what happens is just the opposite. The persistent neglect, of hydration month after month and year after year, gets us dehydrated heavily, making the blood thick and sticky, just like honey. It refuses to flow. Also lifetime of unhealthy eating, bad habits, and shallow judgments makes our blood highly toxic, very viscous and thick additionally.

HEART IS A TINY PUMP

What happens is pretty easy to tell? A small pump with a low horse power is pushed to its limits to keep pumping thick, toxic, sticky blood through 1,60,000 km of pipeline without stopping. Remember that you would require many times higher horse power to pump a liquid into microscopic pipelines or tubes. This small heart of yours has to pump and push even harder to get oxygenated blood into those microscopic capillaries embedded deep between layers and layers of fat. The heart muscles get fatigued very soon and give up on you. Consequences are deadly or near fatal. The heart pump gets over loaded with all the extra work to be done. The heart muscles become over worked and fail. The result is heart failure or cardiac arrest. The heart is crying out loudly, “I cannot go on any more, I am sorry.” The pump motor has ceased and you are deceased. In short you killed yourself. I call it suicide: A slow silent deliberate killing. If you do not die of cardiac arrest then you are sure to die of cancer, because the blood cannot get into those fine capillaries, and they start to wither away, atrophy and turn cancerous.

BLOOD - CARRIER OF OXYGEN & LIFE

The second function of the heart is to pump the dirty, sticky, toxic blood into the lungs to be cleaned up and made pure again and again. Blood is a reusable hydraulic fluid. The lungs are a wonderful marvel of engineering. They have a capacity of holding 5 liters of air in every breadth. Yes exactly 5000 cubic centimeters of oxygenated air. The surface area inside the lungs is 2500 square feet, equal to the area of a lawn tennis court.

AERATION MIRACLE

Here inside the lungs the dirty blood full of dead cells, toxins, carbon dioxide, monoxide, and no nutrients comes in contact with the air we breathe in. So much blood is exposed yet not a drop spills or leaks out. What amazes me is the fact that blood does not clot up in this area? If you cut yourself, anywhere on the skin, the oozing blood comes in contact with the same air and clots up immediately to help you from bleeding to death. Your blood contains an important lifesaving chemical called clotting factor. It is very vital for our survival in times of accidents and fights.

This way it gives out all the toxins and absorbs in the oxygen and nutrients and becomes fresh and pure. The Hemoglobin gets saturated with oxygen and thus travels to the brain and other organs in the body. It is a pure engineering marvel and cosmic miracle. If the cells do not get oxygen, they become sick and die. When the brain does not get oxygen, it mal functions and creates further problems for our body. We are oxygen loving bundle of bacteria. We function best when the breathing is at its highest point, just like when you are making love to your mate.

That’s why they say breadth is life. When you are hardly breathing or breathing in a very shallow manner then disease sets in and death is imminent. Finally when you stop breathing, you are deceased or dead. But again we lead meaningless lives, preoccupied with television, computers, video games, working, worrying for small stuff, studying, and all these activities which force us to breathe in a very shallow manner.

MANUAL BELLOWS

We inhale just 100 to 500 cc of air in every breadth compared to the capacity of 5000 cc. Imagine human beings using only 10 % of their lung capacities. The lower 40% capacity inside the lungs is never expelled out. It stays inside and causes local pollution in our blood. The residual air is the primary pollutant. The upper 40% of extra air of our total lung capacity is never used up. We never breathe in or inhale this part. Hence by and large most of us operate between 40% - 60% range and less. This is very poor performance on our part. It does not make sense if you work hard, make lots of money, eat richly, dress lavishly, but have dirty toxic blood running in your arteries. Does it make any sense? NO! Never; hence be aware of the delicate internal world, instead of being foolishly aware of outside worldly stuff. It does not help you in anyway.

MOUTH OR NOSE BREATHERS

How you breathe is another big factor in your survival. We are normally mouth breathers, taking in all the dust, microbes, and pollutants. The cold dirty air hits our throats and larynx, causing it to dry up in the process. Nature gave us a nose for a reason. We rarely use it fully, and if we did we would benefit tremendously. The nose heats up the incoming air, cleans it and by passes the throat area. But you got to be first conscious of this fact then and then only it becomes possible. A clean nose is a prerequisite, which is a rarity. Nose has another very important function to play when we inhale. The nitric oxide gas producing glands work only when we use our noses. This gas is fully soluble in blood. It helps dilate the microscopic capillaries and allows the blood to reach the smallest crevices in our body which are buried deep under the layers of fat. When this does not happen, the cells atrophy and die and cancer starts to build up. It is all in your hands, or in your nose power to live incrementally or die slowly. Nitric oxide gas very cleverly interacts with oxygen radicals to form Metabolites that destroy pathogens inside our bodies.

HOMES ARE GAS CHAMBERS

Living an oxygen starved life is the starting point of most of the diseases, sickness, and poor health. We further complicate matters by living in closed, fully sealed, air tight houses and offices for at least eight months in a year if not more in cold regions of the world. Everyone knows that the inside air is 100 times more polluted than the outside air. We make our houses air tight basically to keep the cold part outside, but this way we keep the oxygen out too. Hence our homes are more of gas chambers, heated though. We also take pride in sharing the little oxygen trapped in the house with our beloved pets, cats and dogs. So we end up inhaling, breathing stale air, full of carbon dioxide and monoxide. We are wrongly programmed to additionally light up Tea-lights in our gas chambers to use up the balance quantity of oxygen left behind. In World War II, Hitler exterminated millions of Jews by putting them in toxic gas chambers. Today, we are killing ourselves by living in our own personal “GAS CHAMBERS”.

LOVING HEART

There is yet another function of your heart. Can you guess this one? It is an important function and you know it from day one. It is LOVE. We are all love products. When two people, our parents made love, we were born. In the initial years, we get so much love that you cannot measure or keep track of. Both parents shower love on their children initially. Latter on things go wrong and we start replacing love with material things, toys, possessions and other loveless pursuits. Then more things go wrong and we are loaded with hate & hatred. To get back into ‘love mode’ we have to again start loving ourselves first.

Love our bodies; love our selves correctly, and intelligently. If I come to your house and ask for a glass of water, how can you serve me a glass of water when your own pitcher or fridge is empty? So, the secret is to love yourself enough, and fill up your “pitcher”. When you are totally filled up with love then and then only you can love another person.

Today when you tell a woman, I love you; it sounds hollow, its meaningless and a false promise. Absence of love brings in all the other terrible negative EMOTIONS which cause havoc in our bodies. These emotions disturb the delicate balance of hormone production and cause cancers, diseases and death. There are 200 varied emotions and corresponding 200 diseases. People who love themselves truly, do not smoke, drink alcohol, or over eat, and remain vegetarians by and large, eating salt and sugar in moderation only. Food does kill and heal as well. Today we even conduct our jogging, exercises and work outs in indoor gymnasiums, sharing the polluted air. This is how we make the dirty blood dirtier, defeating the purpose of exercise. How is government’s health care plan going to help you, I wonder?

WATERY VENICE - INSIDE OUR BODIES

Our body is unique, like the city of Venice, where the highways for all movement are watery. In Venice we have complex interconnected systems of channels, canals and parking lots, all made up of water and water alone. If the water level in this maze was to go down by a couple of inches the water taxis, boats and canoes would get stuck in the sand and traffic come to a halt. If the water was allowed to thicken up by pollution then again the traffic would be affected badly, just as it happens in our bodies.

DRINK BUT DO NOT DILUTE INSIDE

Prevention is better than cure. Drink lots and lots of water. At least four liters of water per day: But, not with meals or food. If you do, then you dilute the digestive juices and acids. These enzymes, juices, and acids are required in the full strength to break down the food you eat, quickly and effectively. But when you consume water or other liquids alongside with food you are upsetting the chemical balance, inside the stomach. The human body is basically an alkaline body. Maintaining the correct PH is of prime importance. If you keep the alkalinity between 7.4 and 8.0 then you can expect to live longest. Cancer cells cannot survive in an alkaline and oxygenated environment.

Water is retained by the human body as follows: 66% inside the cells, 26 % outside the cells, and balance 8% in our blood. Water is badly needed by the body to wash away the dead cells, toxins, and other pollutants.

WATER AS A SOLVENT FOR SOLUTES

Water is required to back wash the salts deposited in the stomach lining. Water is needed to manufacture complex hormones, by your glands in the body. Therefore drink lots of water before meals. Water is required to keep your blood fluid and flowing. Water is required as a solvent to regulate all solutes and functions in the body. Enzymes work more efficiently in solutions of high viscosity. The preferred ratio is 25 % solute in a solution.

Water is needed to replenish the winter steam, the moisture that escapes from your blood stream with every breadth. A small clot, a microscopic obstruction or buildup in the arteries could be fatal.

Water is also needed by the intestines to keep the waste products wet and moving easily. Any stoppage in this section is very harmful. The sewage system of the body starts to seep into the blood stream, causing you to be sick and dead eventually.

Rohit Khanna - IN-DWELLER

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jenhikes · 6 years

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Gear Sale!

As an avid backpacker for nearly 10 years I have acquired my fair share of hiking gear. However, I'm in the process of simplifying things right now and changing out some of my personal and guiding gear. I figured what better way to clear out items than to offer them up for sale to people who would appreciate gently used, well taken care of gear. Please check out all my offerings below. These pieces of gear I'm offering up would be great Christmas gifts for the beginning backpacker in your life!

Prices are set and are firm and shipping is included in the price (local pickup will not get a discount - sorry). This isn't a flea market - No negotiating. Gear is sold AS IS/ALL SALES FINAL and descriptions of any imperfections are included in the item description. Shipping is to the US and US territories only. Shipping will be first class US mail with a tracking number provided (priority available - please ask for pricing to your zip code!).

MSR Pocket Rocket (original) Stove - $10 (fuel can not included)

I used this stove for several years and am upgrading to another version instead. You'll notice some slight discoloration at the top tips of the pot stands. Works beautifully and I've never had any problems with any canister fuel I've tried, including: SnowPeak, JetBoil, MSR, Coleman, and any other cheapie you find at a resupply spot. Specs from the manufacturer:

Weighs just 3 oz. (85 g), with palm-sized dimensions

No need for priming, pressurizing, or maintenance.

Boils 1 liter of water in under 3.5 minutes.

Glove-friendly controls allow precise flame adjustment, from a simmer to a boil.

Tri-sectional Windclip wind shield protects flame and boosts efficiency.

Sierra Designs Rosa 20-degree Sleeping Bag (Synthetic) - $45

I used this sleeping bag a total of probably 10-15 times and don't have a use for it anymore. It's clean and in amazing shape. It comes with a stuff sack for packing in your backpack as well as a breathable cotton bag for storage. Loft is in great shape. It has a small pocket near the top of the bag for earplugs or headphones. It also has a pocket in the back to stuff clothing to make a pillow. It won't slip from your sleeping bag thanks to the straps on the back of the pad. Specs from the manufacturer are below:

The Women's Rosa 20 Degree Sleeping Bag by Sierra Designs is rated to 20 degrees F/-7 degrees C. Continuous-filament synthetic insulation provides reliable warmth for the life of a sleeping bag, even in damp conditions. We build the Rosa with Climashield HL, and wrap the whole package in 70-denier nylon for a durable bag destined for seasons of use. Rated to 20 degrees, the Rosa not only provides warmth, but serious comfort, too - an ergonomically shaped foot box won't cramp your feet and Pad Locks mean you won't roll off onto the hard ground during the night. Will be compressed for shipping.

Specifications and Features for the women's Rosa 20 Degree Sleeping Bag by Sierra Designs:

Insulation: Climashield HL

Material: Shell: 70D Nylon

Material: Liner: 75D Polyester

Trail Weight: Regular - 2 lbs 12 oz

Zipper Side: Regular - Right

Fill Weight: Regular - 24 oz

Stuff Size: Regular - 9" x 19"

Chest Pocket

Draft Tube

Ergonomic Hood

Pad Locks

Pillow Pocket

Snag Free Zipper Tracks

Two Color Options

Woman Specific Bag

Continuous Filament Insulation

Offset Layer Construction

Tricot Lined Footbox

Tuck Stitch

MSR Seagull 1.1 Liter Stainless Steel Pot - $10 MSR Seagull 0.75 Liter Stainless Steel Pot - $8

These pots are great and durable. Used on my AT thru hike and intermittently as car camping gear. While they're a bit heavier than aluminum, they're durable and showing no signs of wear other than minor scratching - no blackening. The 0.75 L pot does have one small spot on the inside on the bottom of the pan that can probably be scrubbed off. I'm just lazy! See manufacturer specs below:

Dual purpose handle/lid lock flips up and over the fitted lid to securely lock the lid in place during transport

Fitted lid with a top handle

Scratch and dent resistant stainless steel stands up in the most rugged conditions

Rounded corners help heat travel up sides of pot more quickly, boosting efficiency

1.1 L pot is 15 oz and measures 7.6 x 6.6 x 3.75 inches; holds 37 oz

0.75 L pot is 13 oz and measures 6.75 x 5.75 x 3.5 inches; holds 26 oz

The North Face Rock 22 Backpacking Tent WITH Footprint - $65

Taken out into the backcountry probably 20 times and it was mostly used as a car camping tent. Comes with stakes, poles, footprint, original guy lines, and all stuff sacks. Two of the stakes do have a slight bend in them from use. The tent is freestanding in design and super easy to set up with color-coded tabs/grommets for making assembly super simple and newbie-proof. Notice in the photos there is a patch in the floor and some red mud staining on one door. Other than those two things, the tent is in practically brand new condition with minimal dirt. See manufacturer specs:

Versatile two-person, freestanding design has two doors each with their own vestibule

Continuous pole sleeve construction maximizes stability through even weight and pressure distribution

DAC® aluminum poles are lightweight, strong and durable for long-lasting use

Color-coded canopy and rainfly webbing provide clear and easy pitching

Internal prayer-bound floor seams increase user space with clean angles; taped nylon taffeta floor

Four internal pockets keep small items organized

In nice weather, minimalists can leave the tent body behind and use just the rainfly, poles and footprint to save weight

Packed Size: 7 x 25 inches

Floor Dimensions: 87 x 55 inches; 33 square feet

Vestibule Area: 8 square feet per side

Peak Height: 43 inches

Packed Weight: 5 lb, 11 oz

Leki Cressida DSS Women's Trekking Poles (with packaging) - $110

I bought these poles to replace some ancient ones and the quick lock system just isn't for me. I wanted badly for them to work, but I just didn't like them. These are still on the market brand new for $159. They have less than 40 miles (and some dirt) on them and come with a "free" strip of duct tape featuring kittens wearing bowties! (Ha!) See manufacturer specs below:

Dynamic suspension system (DSS) antishock technology reduces peak impacts by approximately 40% to help protect muscles, joints and ligaments

Stable and durable aluminum HTS shafts with matte clear finish feature light, strong Speedlock 2 and Super Lock systems that offer extremely fast pole-length adjustment

Short carbide flex tips with interchangeable baskets deliver precise contact and traction on nearly all kinds of terrain

Edgeless, ultralight Aergon Thermo foam grips offer a soft feel and a fit designed for a woman's hands

Short, ultralight, breathable straps offer maximum comfort with minimum weight and bulk

For more info, you can see this exact pole on their website: https://www.leki.com/us/trekking/poles/2771/cressida-dss/?c=708

Deuter ACT Lite 28 SL (Women's specific) Day Pack with Cover - $50

This pack has been used as my guiding daypack for one year. It never did fit me right, but I never had time during the season to replace it. I have a 15-inch torso and the frame hits me in the back of the head, that's the only reason I'm selling it. This pack would fit anyone with a 16 inch torso or longer. The pack is dirty, not gonna lie. I haven't taken the time to try and clean it up, which is why I'm letting it go cheap. It comes with a built in rain cover with it's own pocket at the bottom of the pack. Also, the front zipper pocket has a tear, which I repaired with tape. See manufacturer specs below:

Anatomically shaped, women-specific Airmesh harness provides maximum ventilation and weight savings while load adjuster straps reduce bulk and ensure proper carrying comfort

Compatible with a 3-liter hydration reservior

2-way front zipper allows direct access to the main compartment for easier gear retrieval even while the lid is closed

Thin, mesh hipbelt fins enhance breathability and weight savings and easily stow flat when not needed

Lid pocket; internal pocket; valuables pocket on hipbelt; side zippered and mesh pockets; ice axe and trekking pole loops

Holds 28 Liters

Weight: 2 lb, 8 oz

Torso - 15-19 inches (Note from Sprinkles: I think 16 and up would be better)

Internal Frame with Delrin U frame

Ripstop Nylon

For more info you can see this pack on their website: http://www.deuter.com/US/us/hiking/act-trail-28-sl-3440215.html

If you have any questions about the gear you're seeing here, please feel free to reach out to me via messenger on Facebook. I'll answer any question you might have about the gear. Also, if you're looking for an overnight pack, please message me there as well. I have a few options I'd love to share with you!

#gear #gear for sale #used gear #consignment #beginner backpacker

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a1coachingmaster-blog · 7 years

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New Post has been published on A1 Coaching

New Post has been published on https://www.a1coaching.net/limiting-the-effects-of-detraining-2/

Limiting The Effects Of Detraining

After my positive PB session the other day I’ve bad news.

Man flu has struck.

I’m in absolute ribbons.

I’ve decided to cover a wee topic in relation to something very topical for me and a lot of you guys with the flu epidemic on the loose.

The effects of detraining and what you can do to minimise the loss of your hard earned fitness.

Unfortunately there is a lot of bad news from a physiological point of view but from my experience there are things you can do to limit the decline.

Sounds counter intuitive but don’t bloody stress for a start!

Yeah you’ve got sick – everybody does and no it’s not the end of the world – take it on the chin and let it run its course.

‘Oh my ftp is going to suffer’

‘My CTL is ruined’

Don’t dare mention Strava!

Harden up – this anxious and stressed mentality will exacerbate the illness trust me- accept it and do what you can to help yourself.

So what happens when you start to take time off?

It’s not time off its forced time off!

Ok forced or unforced here’s the deal.

After only a few days of sitting on your arse, your world is already ending – you believe you’ve lost all the gains from training, right?

Truth is while some biochemical markers and blood volume will be affected – depending on what you were doing up until the off – the rest may help.

Even if you’re ill the losses here are not worth noting but if you’re laid off because of factors unrelated to illness, you’ve essentially done a mini taper – you’ll be motoring when you get back.

Trained folk v’s the newbies

Ok we have some good news for people in the game a long time or at least being aerobically trained a long time.

You don’t lose your gains as fast it seems and you’ll obviously plateau at a higher base level – in theory anyway!

Sorry newbies – if you’re new to training i.e. if you’re a sofa to running a 5k kind of job you will return to baseline pretty fast with a prolonged break.

After a week of being sedentary – i.e. little or no exercise, changes begin to occur in the body that do unfortunately result in noticeable fitness declines.

One week off

A week in, your blood volume has taken a sufficient nose dive – say 15- 20 % to give a figure.

This results in a lesser stroke volume (the blood expelled per beat).

The lesser amount pumped out per beat reduces your cardiac output (the amount pumped out per minute).

So in essence less oxygenated blood is being pumped out by your heart per beat and per minute.

The Cardiac output number is one side of the Vo2 max equation – so hey presto!

Vo2 max is reduced and by about 15%..

This means that at your various power zones your heart will have to work harder to maintain cardiac output and supply oxygen to your working muscles.

Don’t worry though – this won’t take a very long time reverse.

There is also some evidence to suggest that after a week your ability to produce force is slightly reduced – but the drop off here is much less severe than aerobic fitness variables.

2 – 3 weeks off?

Good news first – strength won’t be affected too much if at all really.

Strength really starts to decline after about the 4 week mark.

The enzymatic activity of mitochondria – (where our energy is produced) is an adaptation we train all winter to increase and it begins to decrease at a fast rate

Thus less energy is produced, capillary density (blood/oxygen carrying vessels) is also reduced – thus oxygen supply to your muscles is lower.

Vo2 max can now be reduced by up to 20 %.

Unfortunately FTP isn’t really used in the research so it’s hard to state how much of it you will lose but rest assured after two weeks of absolutely no training it will be reduced.

Ok stop bloody telling me how unfit I am how do I limit the drop off?

If you’re around the block a while, don’t be stressing about a 2 week layoff in training forced or not – yes it will be crap when you start back training, yes you feel fee rubbish, but you’ll be back quick enough if you put your head down and get on with things.

It all depends on why you are taking the time off really.

If you are busy or travelling with work or going on holiday there are loads of things you can do!

Literally a couple of 10 min zone 3 efforts within a week can be enough to maintain fitness.

Run, skip climb stairs, do some burpees, swim whatever it is if you have no bike access – it without doubt lessens the effects of detraining.

I’m sick and I don’t want to raise my heart- rate

Ok there’s a lot of scare mongering going on here.

My rule of thumb if its above your head you’re ok to train but take every precaution possible – diet and lifestyle wise to stop it getting any worse.

If you’re chesty and you’re coughing up phlegm – ordinary training must cease.

Go to your Doctor and my general rule of thumb is give it 3 days – loads of sleep, plenty of fluids hot ones too and if you really need them take your antibiotics and any other potions that you help – but give yourself three days.

After that there are a few bits and pieces I add to each day once I feel I’m starting to feel a little better (typically after 3 days) to try offset the detraining.

I get the resistance bands out – yep I leave them in the kitchen and knock out upper body and lower body exercises every time I boil the kettle – primarily glute exercises.

Not a tonne of them or anything intense just enough to activate the muscles.

Next I have my bike set up on the turbo and depending how sick I am I might hop onto it for 5 or 10 minutes at each end of the day even in a pair of runners – just turning the legs over.

Splitting your first few rides up into short rides such as 10 minutes at each end of the day easy is easier on your immune system over smashing down the road for an hour and relapsing.

At this point you don’t want to mess with intensity so cool the jets.

But you can play with cadence a little while keeping pulse super low.

Another thing I like to do is foam roll and stretch-you might as well use the time to some benefit!

Have you had any niggles that need a bit of work – stretching can be great to unwind and chill out asides from everything else so work on something that normally wouldn’t get a look in.

Otherwise use the time wisely at home and gain some brownie points.

Last but not least you can slowly add in some neural type sprints once your illness is over its worst.

For example, once I know the dose isn’t getting any worse and I’m doing all I can I’ll get to the stage where I’ll add in some very short sprints for approximately 3 seconds (certainly less than 5 seconds).

It’s just enough to switch on that neural system and keep certain biochemicals and hormones flowing.

If done in the right amount at the right stage this could actually help boost your immune system- just don’t push things and always listen to your body and above all chill the beans!

A.Buggle

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deadcactuswalking · 5 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 6th January 2019

The twelve pop songs that weren’t Christmas are all in the top 13 along with a new arrival, so, yeah, essentially this week is the same as last week without a holiday. Everything that was below the top 40 just came back in spades, hence...

Returning Entries

There’s a ton. Let’s get all of the returning entries and drop-outs in our first, very busy week of 2019, done first. Let’s go, starting from what’s at the top to what’s at the bottom. “Hold My Girl” by George Ezra is back at #14, “Baby” by Clean Bandit, Marina and Luis Fonsi is back at #15, “This is Me” by Keala Settle and The Greatest Showman Ensemble is back at #16, “A Million Dreams” by P!nk is back at #17, “Woman Like Me” by Little Mix featuring Nicki Minaj is back at #18, “imagine” by Ariana Grande is back at #20, “Promises” by Calvin Harris and Sam Smith is back at #21, “Going Bad” by Meek Mill and Drake is back at #22, “Let You Love Me” by Rita Ora is back at #23, “Shallow” by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper is at #24, “The Greatest Show” by Hugh Jackman, Keala Settle, Zac Efron, Zendaya and the Greatest Showman Ensemble returns to #25 (this was the first song I ever reviewed on this series so it’s crazy to see it back pretty much exactly a year later), “Happier” by Marshmello and Bastille is back to #26, “Advice” by Cadet and Deno Driz is at #27, “Mo Bamba” by Sheck Wes is at #28 (and while I’m at it, “SICKO MODE” by Travis Scott featuring Drake, Swae Lee and Big Hawk is back at #33), “Eastside” by benny blanco, Halsey and Khalid is at #29, “A Million Dreams” by Ziv Zaifman, Hugh Jackman and Michelle Williams comes back to #30, “Leave a Light On” by Tom Walker lights up at #31, “KIKA” by 6ix9ine featuring Tory Lanez jumps back to #32, “Girls Like You” by Maroon 5 featuring Cardi B rears its ugly head at #34, “One Kiss” by Calvin Harris and Dua Lipa, the biggest song of the year in the UK (yes, the year-end has been released, and I’ll rank it on my Twitter), “Funky Friday” by Dave and Fredo is at #38 (that one’s growing on me too...), “Body” by Loud Luxury and brando is at #39, and “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran rounds off the Top 40. Well, since all of these have had their own reviews on this series before, I might leave links on each song to where they’ve been reviewed or something, although my opinions have already changed. Oh, “Perfect” and “Mo Bamba” don’t have proper reviews yet but it’ll be redundant doing it now because I’ll just be covering them more in-depth on my best list anyway (sorry, spoilers). Now...

Dropouts

Oh, my goodness. Okay, so, every single Christmas song is out. “All I Want for Christmas for You” by Mariah Carey from #2, “Last Christmas” by WHAM! from #3, “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl from #4, “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” by Band Aid from #6, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like Christmas” by Michael Bublé from #7, “One More Sleep” by Leona Lewis from #8, “Merry Christmas Everyone” by Shakin’ Stevens from #9, “Step into Christmas” by Elton John from #10, and the episode’s already half of a 1,000 words. Listen, sorry about all the changes in structure with the series, especially in this episode, but I asked on Twitter if you would rather have me review more songs and not bother with anything else, and no, it was decided by 80% to continue with the standard format in the poll, so, yeah, I guess I’ll have to do it like this for another year. Anyways, back to this nonsense. “Driving Home for Christmas” by Chris Rea is out from #11, “I Wish it Could be Christmas Everyday” by Wizzard from #12, “Santa Tell Me” by Ariana Grande from #13, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Brenda Lee from #16, “Merry Xmas Everybody” by Slade from #17, “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” by John Lennon, Yoko Ono and the Plastic Ono Band featuring the Harlem Community Choir from #18 (God, that is a chore to type every week), “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney from #20 – may you rest in peace, you gorgeous novelty – “We Built this City on Sausage Rolls” by LadBaby from #21, “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” by Darlene Love from #22, “Cozy Little Christmas” by Katy Perry from #23, “Santa’s Coming for Us” by Sia from #24, “Mary’s Boy Child / Oh My Lord” by Boney M. from #26, “Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber from #28, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” by Andy Williams from #29, “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” by Jackson 5 from #30, “White Christmas” by Bing Crosby from #31, “Stay Another Day” by East 17 from #36 – still not a Christmas song – “Underneath the Tree” by Kelly Clarkson from #37, “Lonely this Christmas” by Mud from #38, and finally, “Baby it’s Cold Outside” by Idina Menzel and Michael Bublé is out from #39. That felt oddly therapeutic.

Now, there’s not a single song that fell this week, obviously, but there are a few that climbed outside of the Top 10, and they’re all rebounds from the avalanche.

Climbers

“Without Me” by Halsey is up three spots to #11, “Lost Without You” by Freya Ridings is up 20 spaces to #12, and finally, “Thursday” by Jess Glynne is up a whopping 27 positions to #13. Now, with the chart finally rid of those pesky Christmas songs, welcome to 2019, everyone, and this is the state of British pop as the year turns around.

Top 10

“Sweet but Psycho” by Ava Max is spending its second week at #1 today, which is cool, I guess, but i don’t imagine it holding on for that long.

Ariana Grande’s “thank u, next” is up three spaces from last week to number-two, but now we’ve got some massive jumps from scattered within the top 40 straight to the top 10.

“Sunflower” by Post Malone and Swae Lee from Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is up 16 positions to number-three.

At number-four, we have an 11-space increase for Mark Ronson and Miley Cyrus’ “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart”.

Finally, in what feels like ages, we have a top 5 debut, with Post Malone having his ninth top 40 hit and sixth top 10 hit this week, as his new song “Wow.” enters at #5. We’ll talk about it at length later on.

At number-six, Lord help us, we have “Baby Shark” by Pinkfong up 21 spaces from last week. This is the best proof we’ve had since Mr. Blobby that the charts are ran by children.

“Shotgun” by George Ezra rebounds by 26 spots to number-seven for no good reason. Go away, please, for my own sanity.

Oh, joy, James Arthur too, with Anne-Marie for “Rewrite the Stars” up 17 spaces to number-eight.

Zara Larsson creeps her head into the top 10 as well after a 26-spot boost up to number-nine, making “Ruin My Life” her sixth top 10 hit in the UK.

Finally, Kodak Black’s “ZEZE” featuring Travis Scott and Offset is up an undeservedly high 24 places up to #10, rounding off our top 10 at way too many words for an episode that has yet to have any song reviews. I’ll try to keep them brief.

NEW ARRIVALS

#36 – “Gun Lean” – Russ

R-R-Russ? Huh... Never expected that name to ever pop up on here, to be honest. Russ seems to only be kind of big in the US but he’s never hit the top 40, and he’s pretty much just a running joke or meme in the hip hop community so I honestly never expected any Brits to take him seriously either but this is his new single, I guess, and it’s not great. It starts with a menacing piano line that could be kind of interesting but then Russ comes in with a British accent and—oh.

#36 – “Gun Lean” – Russ splash

BBC has called new UK rapper Russ splash “Russ” instead, but who really cares? He might as well be Russ because he doesn’t say anything of substance either, with a painfully simplistic hook and chorus that doesn’t really help his lyrical ability shine (if it exists). The heavy bass is obviously trying to be have that energetic old Lil Pump energy, but it doesn’t work when your song is three and a half minutes because this song is tiring as all hell. This is generic British rap that follows the formula to a T, and I hope it doesn’t rise. Speaking of following a formula...

#35 – “Money” – Cardi B

Sigh, I do like Cardi B, but she seems to have stopped bothering and that’s a big issue because that’s the main reason anyone liked her. It’s definitely not the lyrics and while it may be the beat, she always rides it with that loud, straightforward and powerful delivery she is known for, and when you stop trying in the booth, I feel like that appeal is going to squander, and this is her ninth top 40 hit in less than two years, so the fact that it’s going quick is an issue. Anyways, this is absolute garbage. The beats is literally like two piano notes just being violently played under trap percussion and bass, with a recurring high-pitched “Money” ad-lib that is trying to break up the monotony but, no, it’s just annoying. Cardi B sounds more ruthless on the verses, which may actually be kind of unfitting, but it works, although then she gets bored on the chorus. In fact, the transition is actually pretty abrupt and forced here. At least it’s shorter and has a few good flow switches, so it’s definitely better than “Gun Lean” in that respect, but that doesn’t mean it’s good.

#19 – “Play” – Jax Jones featuring Years & Years

This is listed as a returning entry on BBC’s UK Top 40 page but this came out last year and I never reviewed so it’s safe to assume it’s new; I apologise if it isn’t, but I mean, would you care? The lead singer from Years & Years keeps up with a tiring atmospheric house beat, with meaningless lyrics and weak, radio-friendly drops that kind of take away its EDM properties immediately, I mean, the hook here isn’t that crazy of a vocal manipulation either like “One Kiss” or “Solo”, it’s just a pretty comprehensible phrase repeated and edited to sound a tad more distant. It’s so weak and pathetic, although the dude from Years & Years is trying so hard to fit on this beat, it’s kind of funny in that regard. Otherwise, yeah, who cares?

#5 – “Wow.” – Post Malone

Let me put it this way: my sister loves Post Malone for many reasons, one of which being his music, and she’s consistently loved a lot of what I’ve hated from Post like “I Fall Apart” (which is still a gruelling and confusing song to this day, read my worst list if you want to see me go into depth), but not even she could dig this, but I think I know why – she took it seriously. The tuneless keys is the only real build-up we get until Post comes in and there’s a cool noisy melody that ends with a high-pitched screech, and yeah, it’s a pretty awesomely minimal and menacing beat, so surely Post should add a lot to this... well, he literally has a whole line that is just “G-Wagon, G-Wagon, G-Wagon, G-Wagon”, but otherwise his delivery is on-point (I love his voice right at the end at the second verse), his flows are catchy, his lyrics are serviceable and sometimes pretty funny, and every single beat drop here is beautiful, seriously, that’s some perfect production from Frank Dukes and Louis Bell. After Post stops rapping, there’s a period of time where it’s just the distorted melody over some reverb-drowned drums with a chipmunk vocal coming in and him just ad-libbing “wow”, and it’s stunning. It’s not going to replace Beck’s song of the same title and in the same vein (seriously, it’s a trap-rap song too), but this is cool.

Conclusion

This week was mostly trap, huh? Well, Post Malone gets Best of the Week for “Wow.” but Russ splash is definitely bagging Worst of the Week for the dreadful “Gun Lean”. Dishonourable Mention is tied, and goes to Jax Jones, Years & Years and Cardi B for “Play” and “Money”, respectively. Not a great start, guys. See you next week!

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deadcactuswalking · 5 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 30th December 2018 - its Christmas ennit

So, there are twelve Christmas songs I need to review and no new arrivals. Hence, I’m not going to take myself too seriously on this one, so be prepared for a more lighthearted, funnier and most importantly shorter episode of REVIEWING THE CHARTS right after the usual. Anyways, the chart is pretty much three quarters Christmas this week (28 holiday songs) – joy. Let’s go into what survived, what suffered and the Top 10.

Top 10

We have a new number-one – for its first week, ten weeks into its chart run, “Sweet but Psycho” by Ava Max has reached the top spot. I’m not necessarily complaining because it’s not a bad song, but it still isn’t very festive.

Now: the holidays, because as soon as I start celebrating New Years and the dawn of 2019, there’s a Christmas avalanche (unfortunately, none by the Avalanches). “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey is up three spots to the runner-up place. This could have gone to number-one, which is insane.

“Last Christmas” by WHAM! is up four spots to number-three.

“Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl is up seven spaces to number-four.

“thank u, next” by Ariana Grande is down two places to number-five.

“Do They Know it’s Christmas?” by Band Aid moves up seven positions to number-six. Blech.

“It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” by Michael Bublé is beginning to look a lot more popular as it slides past nine positions all the way up to number-seven.

“One More Sleep” by Leona Lewis proves itself surprisingly well, up eleven spots to number-eight.

Shakin’ Stevens has an identical boost as “Merry Christmas Everyone” travels up to number-nine.

Finally rounding off our top 10, at #10 we have “Step into Christmas” by Elton John, up eight spaces from last week.

Christmas Nonsense

“Driving Home for Christmas” by Chris Rea is up 11 to #11, “I Wish it Could be Christmas Everyday” by Wizzard is up 12 to #12, and just to ruin our streak is “Santa Tell Me” by Ariana Grande, moving up ten spaces to #13, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Brenda Lee is up five to #16, “Merry Xmas Everybody” by Slade is up 19 to #17, “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” by John Lennon, Yoko Ono and the Plastic Ono Band featuring the Harlem Community Choir is up 11 to #18, “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney is up 15 to #20, “We Built This City on Sausage Rolls” (yes, this is a Christmas song) by LadBaby is DOWN 20 spaces from its top-spot debut last week, now at #21 – and that’s it.

What Survived

Really not that much. Outside of the top 10, “Without Me” by Halsey is down nine to #14, “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart” by Mark Ronson and Miley Cyrus is down nine to #15, “Sunflower” from Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse by Post Malone and Swae Lee is down nine to #19, “Rewrite the Stars” by James Arthur and Anne-Marie is down 13 to #25, “Baby Shark” by Pinkfong is somehow UP three spaces to #27, “Lost Without You” by Freya Ridings is down 18 to #32, “Shotgun” by George Ezra is up four to #33, “ZEZE” by Kodak Black featuring Travis Scott and Offset is down 19 to #34 (this is the only rap song on the chart this week, which is crazy considering how big that genre was this year), “Ruin My Life” by Zara Larsson is down 18 to #35, and “Thursday” by Jess Glynne is down a whopping 31 spaces to #40. Now, in the first 600 words or so of this episode, I have name-dropped every single song on the chart right now that is not in any way related to Christmas or the holidays, adding up to a total of about twelve. Why are there so little then? Well, first of all...

What Suffered

Let’s start with songs that aren’t in the top 75 at all. “KIKA” by 6ix9ine featuring Tory Lanez is out from #34 and “when the party’s over” by Billie Eilish is out from #39. These weren’t going to live long anyway. Now, these next songs are ordered by where they are on the top 100 as of this week. “Imagine” by Ariana Grande is out from #8, “A Million Dreams” by P!nk is out from #27, “Baby” by Clean Bandit featuring Luis Fonsi and Marina is out from #25, “Hold My Girl” by George Ezra is out from #32, “Close to Me” by Ellie Goulding, Diplo and Swae Lee is out from #28, “Going Bad” by Meek Mill and Drake is out from #26, “Better” by Khalid is out from #33, “Empty Space” by James Arthur is out from #31 – good!, “Advice” by Cadet and Deno Driz is out from #38 and finally, “Let You Love Me” by Rita Ora is out from #40. Jesus. Now, returning entries.

Returning Entries

#39 – “Baby it’s Cold Outside” �� Idina Menzel and Michael Bublé

Written in 1944, the dated lyrics that are perceived as rapey and manipulative have caught some flack in recent years – of course, what do you expect? It’s from 1944, you should be grateful it doesn’t have a reference to minstrel shows. Although the lack of adjustment of the lyrics in recent covers like this one has been concerning because people become more aware, and who else than Adele Dazeem and the definition of non-descript to cover this charming yet problematic classic? I’m kidding, of course, because these two personality vacuums make me sick to my stomach with their dull-as-bricks cover of an already lethargic traditional. Somehow at two minutes and 36 seconds, it’s too long, especially with its static production. I’d like to say mixing is slightly odd too, but that’s probably on purpose, although the skits in between verses are pretty cringeworthy. Next.

#38 – “Lonely this Christmas” – Mud

Speaking of lethargic and boring, how about the exhausting song by Mud? It starts with the a-capella “bom-bom-bom-bom” and I feel that symbolises your life flashing past your eyes right before your slow, gruelling death with surf-rock guitars and the lead singer sounding like he has a gum shield in his mouth but was forced to stand in for Lionel Richie at a Christmas charity event. I’m calling it now – this type of lazy, awfully dreary music is the reason all of our substance-less emo-rap and lo-fi nonsense exists now, and if less Mud means less Juice WRLD and joji, I’m all for removing this song out of the British Xmas music canon. Go away, and take your annoying spoken word sections with you. Next.

#37 – “Underneath the Tree” – Kelly Clarkson

Hey, something that doesn’t suck as much as an alcoholic toddler hidden within fields of cattle. Although this still has barely any build-up so the climax (which is about three seconds in, may I add) feels immensely worthless. Kelly sounds great, as usual, but the instrumentation is quite cluttered when the chorus comes in, meaning like all new Christmas pop songs, it has that overproduced vibe, which is a vibe nobody except Kanye can really work well with. I’m all for maximalist production but once you add a sax solo to about 40 layers of plastic tangentially festive loops, you lose me. The hook is an earworm and a half. Next.

#36 – “Stay Another Day” – East 17

This isn’t a Christmas song. It was number-one at Christmas, and it had snow in the video, but that doesn’t mean it’s a Christmas song. Hence, I refuse to review it. It’s pretty rubbish generic boy-band schlock, anyway, and it’s really bottom-of-the-barrel tier of that genre, so no losses here!

#31 – “White Christmas” – Bing Crosby

This is an absolute classic, with elegant, beautiful strings and some of the sweetest vocals I’ve ever heard laid down from the 50s and 60s crooners of their day. The lyrics are as well-written as Christmas songs really got back then, and for the time, this probably sounded good on records. It sounds pretty awful on streaming, actually, there’s a few vocal clippings that are oddly frequent. Seriously, we need a remastered version of this that isn’t by Michael Bublé. When’s the last time we got a white Christmas anyway? Even Crosby had to wish for it 60 years ago, we basically have to pray the whole 12 months. Next.

#30 – “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” – Jackson 5

Kids shouldn’t be singing, okay? None of them are all that good at it especially when it’s a professional, label-backed recording. Michael Jackson has always sounded pretty awful as a kid, both in and out the Jackson 5, to me at least, in my opinion, and it’s no different here, although I’ll admit he sounds okay in his best moments throughout, and the production has some actual funk and groove behind it, so I’ll always appreciate that (although I definitely do appreciate the painful infant Michael Jackson ad-libs). When I typed in “Santa Claus” into Spotify, the first thing to show up was “I’m Gonna Kill Santa Claus”, so that should tell you how I feel about this type of sickly Christmas music in general. Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnext.

#29 – “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” – Andy Williams

It really isn’t, but as much as I disagree with the politics here, the song’s pretty cool. This is actually remastered so I can appreciate every tidbit, from the bass in Andy Williams’ gorgeous voice, the cute lyrics, the beautiful orchestral instrumentation and the unintentionally lo-fi backing vocals that kind of work as a lower quality in comparison to the rest of the mix because it sounds like a public recording of a chanted vocal in a pub or village or something, like gang vocals in DJ Mustard beats. Why are there ghost stories, though? Was Jack Skellington involved in the making of the song? Either way, this song’s pretty NEXT!

#28 – “Mistletoe”- Justin Bieber

Just because it’s a song that briefly and vaguely references Christmas whilst really being a song about picking up a girl doesn’t mean it’s a Christmas song. I mean, that would imply Lil Wayne’s song about having sex with every girl in the world is a Christmas song, and that’s just wrong.

These hoes is God’s gift like Christmas

Next!

#26 – “Mary’s Boy Child / Oh My Lord” – Boney M.

The women are great but listen, the dude in Boney M. can’t sing, at all, and personally, I don’t like my Christmas songs to be too overly religious. This literally re-tells the birth of Jesus, and for what it’s worth, it’s a decent gospel-disco track although I know a whole album that makes a better combination of urban contemporary music and gospel, in fact, I know two, from the same year and the same people... but seriously that dude’s voice is hilariously pathetic, and his part is just unforgivably horrible and out-of-place. Who told him this was okay? This was the sex icon, I’m pretty sure, of the group, because he was Daddy Cool and all that, but if a man walked up to me with that voice, I’d think he was a child initially and then eventually run away. He scares me with how Godawful (no pun intended) his performance here is... but it’s okay as a whole, I guess. Next.

#24 – “Santa’s Coming for Us” – Sia

Sia tries to do reggae-fusion Christmas and it hurts my ears. This is the only time where Sia’s diction really bothers me because she’s just indecipherable here, and she has nothing to cover her initially except synth noise until the cliché, plastic Christmas beat comes in. Admittedly I like the horns here, but that goes for a lot of these tracks. Sia’s chorus where she just repeats the title until she absolutely mangles the word to the point where it means nothing disgusts me with his repulsing beauty. It’s almost unlistenable, and I’m pretty sure the fake Caribbean inflection deserves this white Australian woman some flack. No? You guys still going to fight the dude in the 1940s who made a song that portrayed gender roles considered more standard at the time, and not the woman who fakes an accent for a worthless Christmas cash-in? Aight then, next.

#23 – “Cozy Little Christmas” – Katy Perry

If you don’t put your music on Spotify and are a big name who is absolutely able to, you are pretentious, irrational and uptight. This song only exists as a single because it was released on Amazon. That’s baffling to me. Next.

#22 – “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” – Darlene Love

Was this in Home Alone? It seems oddly familiar to a song that was definitely in that soundtrack. I don’t know, but this song rocks. The song is oddly desperate despite how it may sound, and I can really dig her longing for days that she had a “true” Christmas because of how she spent it all with her significant other. It’s sweet. Phil Spector’s jolly production shines again with the steady beat (needs a remastered version ASAP) and Darlene Love perfectly riding the instrumental as if she was Santa on his sleigh. Thank you, next.

Conclusion

Oh, wait, that’s all? Thank the Lords. Mud get Worst of the Week for “Lonely this Christmas”, with Dishonourable Mention going to Katy Perry, East 17 and Justin Bieber for all of their worthless cash-ins that I didn’t even bother doing any form of substantial reviews for. Best of the Week goes to Andy Williams, to be honest, for “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”, with Honourable Mention going to no-one. Happy Easter.

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