#this is why we communicate effectively folks
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terfs keep mentioning the % of autistics who are trans/nb and that we're 'brainwashed'
and because i'm an asshole, i decided to look into why so many autistic folks are trans/nb. it's not an inaccurate statement, at least the first half, but terfs lie through their teeth so i decided to get to the scientific root of it.
the answer blew my fucking mind.
the study on gender and autism i found said two very specific things about autistic people: we are more mentally resistant to things like social conditioning and binarism. we like our secret third things, y'know.
an excerpt:
“The finding that non-binary identities are most elevated seems to support hypotheses focussed on autistic resistance to social conditioning, which are consistent with existing evidence of the same effect with respect to self-description of sexual orientation. Perhaps elevated rates of trans identity in autism might result from a rejection of the binary cisgenderist norm, which combined with a below-typical concern for social norms could promote the disclosure of the identity.”
94% of autistics surveyed for that paper identified themselves as non-binary.
other studies have found autistic people have higher levels of critical thinking, and require more evidence to maintain or convert to a belief system (hence why many of us eventually fall away from religion) than allistic people.
which means, at least from my perspective, that:
a) the 'brainwashing' terfs are accusing the trans community of inflicting on autistic folks would likely not even work if they tried.
b) the current binary definition of gender flies directly against embedded autistic modes of thinking to begin with.
you cannot brainwash someone into thinking something they already believe.
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So the real crime of fascism was the application to white people of colonial procedures "which until then had been reserved exclusively for the Arabs of Algeria, the 'c***s' of India, and the 'n***s' of Africa." (p. 36) Here we must situate Cesaire within a larger context of radical black intellectuals who had come to the same conclusions before the publication of Discourse.
As Cedric Robinson argues, a group of radical black intellectuals,including W.E.B. Du Bois, C.L.R James, George Padmore, and Oliver Cox, understood fascism not as some aberration from the march of progress, an unexpected right-wing turn, but a logical development of Western Civilization itself. They viewed fascism as a blood relative of slavery and imperialism, global systems rooted not only in capitalist political economy but racist ideologies that were already in place at the dawn of modernity. As early as 1936, Ralph Bunche, then a radical political science professor at Howard University, suggested that imperialism birth to fascism. "The doctrine of Fascism" wrote Bunche, "with its extreme jingoism, its exaggerated exaltation of the state and its comic-opera glorification of race, has given a new and greater impetus to the policy of world imperialism which had conquered and subjected to systematic and ruthless exploitation virtually all of the darker populations of the earth." Du Bois made some of the clearest statements to this effect: "I knew that Hitler and Mussolini were fighting communism, and using race prejudice to make some white people rich and all colored people poor. But it was not until later that I realized that the colonialism of Great Britain and France had exactly the same object and methods as the fascists and the Nazis were trying clearly to use." Later, in The World and Africa (1947), he writes: "There was no Nazi atrocity-concentration camps, wholesale maiming and murder, defilement of women or ghastly blasphemy of childhood which Christian civilization or Europe had not long been practicing against colored folk in all parts of the world in the name of and for the defense of a Superior Race born to rule the world. The very idea that there was a superior race lay at the heart of the matter, and this is why elements of Discourse also drew on Negritude's impulse to recover the history of Africa's accomplish ments. Takirng his cue from Leo Frobenius's injunction that the "idea of the barbaric Negro is a European invention," Cesaire sets out to prove that the colonial mission to "civilize" the primitive is just a smoke screen. If anything, colonialism results in the massive destruction of whole societies-societies that not only function at a high level of sophistication and complexity, but that might offer the West valuable lessons about how we might live together and remake the modern world.
Robin DG Kelley's A Poetics of Anti Colonialism, published as introduction to a new edition of Aime Cesaire's Discourse on Anti Colonialism
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— 『 𝐖𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐋; 𝐨𝐭8 』 [1] (M)
— 𝚠𝚘𝚗 • 𝚍𝚎𝚛 • 𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚕, adjective. having someone who serves as a pillar in your life, who offers a sturdy place to lean in times of trouble. somebody you find yourself thinking about constantly and are completely infatuated with.
❝humans were such strange creatures. wretched in their mere existence. none of the eight were ever truly interested in them until they found you. they just find it strange that despite their status and rank, you'd rather spend time with your lover. that isn't much of a problem, though. one they can fix with ease.❞
〘ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ, ᴍʏᴛʜ, ꜱᴍᴜᴛ, ꜰᴀᴇʀɪᴇꜱ〙(m.list)
— pairing: ot8 x reader (this chapter); seonghwa x reader; 10.6k
— note: this is a yandere fic. sensitive topics such as manipulation, gaslighting, murder, and other topics involved with the genre. please heed the warnings and read this work of fiction while keeping this in mind.
CHAPTER WARNINGS: murder, manipulation, blood, blood drinking, torture references, dark magic, kidnapping references, emotional turmoil
You keep your head down, grip tightening as you make your way through the marketplace. Conversations are hushed, eyes warily rolling over your figure. It's enough of an irritant for you to pull your hood over your head. It's easy to spot strangers around here. Unfortunately, you are still one. Despite your relationship with Soobin, none of them have treated you as part of the community. And it’s not as if you haven’t tried. Inviting them over to your shared apartment, greeting them each time you passed by. All of it was met with blank stares, scowls curving their lips. You're sure if you strained your ears enough to listen you'd hear side comments about you; how you don't belong, how you've brought the faeries into the city. None of it is true of course, you stepping foot into town and the sudden disappearances happening at the exact same time are just coincidences.
It's what you hope, at least.
"Hiding in plain sight?"
You step into his shop, catching him placing a book lightly on the shelf. He glances at you, a soft smile on his lips. He steps around the counter and despite the now leaning stack of books in his hands, he leans around it to press a light kiss to your lips, then your forehead. It eases your anxiousness briefly, your hood slipping off your head as you lean against the counter. In moments like this it reminds you of what you’re here for, why you tolerate the silent isolation they give you. If it weren’t for Soobin you would have left town long ago.
"Think it'll keep their eyes off of me?" You murmur. He sends you a sympathetic look, enough for you to think otherwise. You sigh, pulling at loose strands. "I know I know, long shot.”
“They will learn to love you as easily as I have,” he moves back in front of the shelf, glancing at the titles before placing them in the correct spots. “I know that their words are alarming, but you moving in with me has no effect on the town disappearances. Some people just don’t find their way home,” he shrugs, watching as your eyes narrow. “It’s the truth!”
“Bin, they won’t accept me until the people are found. You know that.”
“Then we wait until they are found, y/n. Don’t worry yourself over things like this. It’ll be fine.”
You nod only to calm him down for the moment, your thoughts otherwise. From what you hear, faeries haven’t been seen around this town in decades, most targeting the large metropolitan areas rather than cities with populations in the lower thousands. Interestingly enough, despite your move from the city to here, you have yet to spot one faerie folk. Unlikely that you would. Though, you do hear the older residents speak of them.
The Fae folk are often mischievous, luring their victims into the thickened woods with soft words, tempting sounds. The Rowan trees at the edge of town are often the type of forestry that they reside in, stealing unsuspecting people from their lives. You’ve avoided the path since you’ve learned of it. Moreso now due to the vanishings. Who would have known that the tales of the past were riddled with truth? It only unsettles you more, knowing that there’s other things out there not yet discovered. But still, the information on the Fae is limited. All you’ve found is minimal, unimportant. No human has yet to figure out a way to stop them entirely – or if they are even real at all. There’s a myth that four-leaf clovers stop them in their tracks, so you see the paintings across every part of town. It has done nothing to stop the disappearances. The attempts are all in vain.
What is known is that you do not pray in circumstances like this. The ones that will listen are not who you would like to grant your wishes. You were never religious, your upbringing leaning towards a more lax nature. But even you think that you should keep the missing in your thoughts. At least enough to hope they return safely. You doubt it's the mysterious unseen faeries, but you can't help but try and aid somehow.
“How’d the interview go?” He asks, grabbing your attention.
You slowly sink into one of the seats. “Remember when you told me Ben and you were friends? And that he’d go easy on me?”
He groans. “What did he do?”
“Told me that he’s only doing this interview for you and shut the door. Loudly by the way, then I left. I’m pretty sure he lit some type of spiritual incense to get rid of my bad energy.”
“It’s not that. You know that.”
“Well, I did,” you murmur. “Not so sure anymore. It’s fine, don’t worry too much about it. I’ll get over it.” You strongly do not think you’ll get over it, but you just hope that the thoughts don’t linger in Soobin’s mind too long. He’s insisted weeks ago that the two of you move away from this town and open his bookstore somewhere else, but you’ve convinced him otherwise. The two of you aren’t even married yet nor engaged. You wouldn’t want him to pick up his whole life just because you feel slightly uncomfortable with the stares on you. Or the whispers each time you enter a room. You can handle it. You just need to let out your grievances occasionally.
“Telling me not to worry will only make me worry more, love,” he places his hands on either side of the chair you sit on, lightly nudging your forehead with his. “I love you.”
“I know.”
“And I’m not going to leave you because some townsfolk are scared of a woman who made a popcorn bag catch on fire in the microwave.”
“Soobin!” You nudge him and he laughs, moving away from you and back to his tasks. “You’re such an ass.”
He rolls his eyes, continuing to stock his shelves and tend to customers. You’ve noticed that some are startled when they see you, so you decide to hide out in the back of his store, headphones over your ears to drown out the whispers of disdain and dread. Soobin scolds them each time they do it, but it only seems to drive their intentions. After a few minutes of hearing him argue you decide it’s best to no longer listen.
-
“It’s your turn, Seonghwa. Continuing to tuck yourself behind literature will not slow down time. Soon the others will come and find where you’ve hidden yourself.”
Seonghwa sighs as he listens to San’s words, peering over the stack of writings. Its grown since the last time San entered his room; piles upon piles of literature is littered around him, some of it very close to the entrance of the room. The others never really bothered to enter his personal space because of it, but San was just in here yesterday. How is it already crowded? Especially considering how neat Seonghwa is. “Must it be tonight? We’ve delayed it for longer.”
“We’re all hungry. You know what happens when it’s taken too far. I’d rather not clean up any of our messes again,” San points out, Seonghwa’s frown only deepening. “It’s our second to last one for this town, then we’re moving on. Too many disappearances will make the authorities search the Rowan. It’ll only cause more slaughter.”
“Then so be it,” Seonghwa says. He hides himself behind the stack once more. The sound of pages flipping fills the quiet.
“Hwa…” His voice drags now, whining, twisting each syllable. “The Seelies are on our backs."
“Fine,” Seonghwa places the book on the top of the stacks, stepping around it to meet San’s eyes. His sleepwear wraps around him, glasses resting at the edge of his nose. For a moment, he finds the sight endearing. “There’s a fair tonight to ward off faeries with their limited resources. Enough of a distraction to steal another.”
"Great!" San replies happily.
-
"It's a bit cold to have a festival, no?" You say, passing Soobin his bag. He thanks you, placing it on his back. "The harvest will be fine like it always is. And you're a bookstore owner, not a farmer. Ever think about not attending one?"
"It's to support everyone in the neighborhood, y/n. We know everyone, and they'll know I'm not around. Plus, it'll bring a great harvest of customers to the bookstore," He grins at your eye roll at his pun."Come and you'll see. It'll be fun."
That's the last thing you want to do. Be around people who hate you in the middle of the night around burning logs? A recipe for a disaster. "I don't know…"
"They said you wouldn't show," he adds, grabbing his hat off the coat hanger. "This will prove them wrong. Maybe it'll stop the weird rumors that are spreading for no reason? They'll see you're kind and pretty and safe, and have nothing to do with the disappearances. They'll love you like I love you."
You shouldn't care what others think. In fact you really don't care much at all. But Soobin cares deeply, and having you around the bookstore meant that you would have to care. So you give him a brave face, following him out the bookstore and twisting the lock behind you. The two of you have had prior discussions, most ending in a moot point. You care for each other more than anything – you'd give him the world if asked. And he consistently, without falter, told you that he would leave this all behind if you couldn't take it any longer. You've thought it over. If tonight doesn't somewhat boost your position in this town – you're not sure you'll be able to stand it any longer. There's only so many snide remarks one could take.
Soobin and you pass by closed shops and darkened porches, making your way to the gathering. You see the clovers painted on walls and doors, handing up along roofs and banisters. He catches your eyes, smiling.
"Think it makes the faeries go away?"
You purse your lips, "Probably not. They're more clever than we make them out to be." If they're real, you finish in your head. "It stumps me a bit how a formation of leaves would stop them in their place. They love nature don't they? Why would they hate a perfect formation of it?"
"A folktale," he shrugs. "That's why I keep it in my sign. People around here heard about a woman being saved because she had one in her pocket, so they think it'll save them when a faerie comes crawling around." He rolls his eyes. "Doubt it'll stop them."
You laugh along with him, meaningless conversation exchanged between the two of you. Eventually, you make it into the clearing. Most people you recognize already, all giving greetings to Soobin. Some even say hello to you, much to your surprise. You stand a bit away from the crowd, thanking Soobin for passing you a marshmallow and stick. You chat along with him for a while, until something from the corner of your eye bothers you. You don't look, at first, a creepy feeling crawling over your skin. Eventually, you decide it's best to get it over with than continue to feel uncomfortable.
A man across the fire shifts your attention for a moment. He holds a cup in his hand, sipping slowly as he stares into the flames. You’ve never seen him before. Strangers do often enter the fairs to enjoy a vacation away from their homes. Ordinary in itself, yet there seems to be someone odd about him. He wears a long, black overcoat despite the temperature, hair pulled back by darkened frames on his head. His eyes slowly move, almost meeting yours until you look away.
The air around you feels a bit colder.
“You’re going to break the cup if you hold it any tighter,” Soobin laughs, tilting his head to block your view. His smile slowly drops, concern in his gaze. “Are you alright?”
“Fine, just feeling a little chilly,” you murmur, moving a bit closer to the fire. Soobin pulls you into his side, giving you a chance to send a fleeting glance at the man. Unfortunately for you, he no longer stands there. And even more odd, it feels as if he's still there, watching you.
You’re not the superstitious type due to you never seeing faeries, a part of you doesn’t believe in them at all. But rarely did anyone ever come to these celebrations that didn’t live here. The way that the stranger stands out makes your insides twist. Him fading into the darkness – no human could do such a thing.
Perhaps you should have stayed home after all.
"It is a bit chilly tonight," Soobin agrees, tucking you closer underneath his arm. "The winds must be telling a story." You know he's trying to comfort you. You're not hiding whatever is bothering you at all. A bit comical that you're attempting to. You were never one to conceal your emotions, face as literal as a child's painting. "Are my reassurances that boring?" He teases.
You pull yourself from the grip of your thoughts, shaking your head. "I think I should go," voice barely louder than the buzzing of the fireflies. "I don't want you to freak, but something feels off."
"Off?" His brows furrow, glancing around. "Like?"
You're thankful that he always believes in your intuition. "Like there's something in the crowd that doesn't belong. I know it sounds stupid, and I know I'm the last person to believe in that stuff but I just feel it, you know?"
"We should leave then." He stands up, hand sliding into yours with ease. "We've hung around enough already. No need to stay longer than necessary."
"I don't want you to feel like you have to follow."
"I wouldn't let you walk back home alone."
He agrees swiftly and you're thankful for it. Soobin guides you around the crowd of people, exchanging goodbyes as you leave the gathering. Soon enough it's only the two of you leaving the woods. You walk swifter than him. sparing a glance every once in a while to make sure he's close.
-
“One.”
“One.”
“Two…”
“Soobin, come on,” You try peeking through the mask he holds over your eyes, but he secures his hold, giggles echoing in your ear.
“Two,” you groan, though smiling.
“Three!” He pulls off the blindfold, stepping away from you. At first, you’re a bit confused, at least until you look at the counter. Your own eyes widen at the sight, looking between it and Soobin. A very unlike you squeal escapes your lips, running over the carpet and piles of books he has yet to put away. You grab the small journal, hand dragging over the ridges and markings. It’s one you’ve had your eye on for months now, hoping and praying (and saving) that no one would be able to buy it before you. Just a week ago, you complained to Soobin – very much on the verge of tears – that you saw it was sold and couldn’t handle it. He comforted you in that moment and told you that things happen for a reason. Back then, you were too distraught to notice the slight grin on his lips as he held you close. You look back at your partner.
He stands there proud, hands on his hips, chest puffed out. Without another word you stumble over the books and things laid about, throwing yourself into his arms. He laughs at the sudden push, steadying himself against the wall. Once he stabilizes himself, he holds you close, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head.
“Like it?”
All you can do is nod into his chest, overcome with emotion. It might be a bit silly to other people, the way you’re reacting to a mere journal. But it means a lot to you. It’s something you’ve dreamed about holding in your hands for years, and he fulfilled your wish. You’re not sure anything else could top this. It's been a few days since the incident in the forest. Your life is as mundane as ever and you're thankful for it.
“I love you,” you whisper. “I really do love you."
“I know,” he murmurs back. “I love you more.”
“Shut up,“ you punch his chest lightly, ignoring the tears falling down your cheeks. “I can’t believe you spent so much – “
“Ah ah ah,” he presses his pointer finger against your lips, shushing you. “You’re not allowed to talk about the price. I know how you are.”
“But it’s so –“
“Beautiful, yes. It’s beautiful just like you,” he agrees, laughing at the frown on your face. His thumb wipes away your tears, “y/n, I know you’ve been trying to hide it. I know you don’t like it here. And I know you’ve been struggling with being ostracized by the townsfolk. I’ve noticed how it’s been affecting you. I’ve asked so many times if it was okay and you insisted that it is even though you feel otherwise. So, spending money on something you can enjoy is the least I can do. You’ve sacrificed a lot for me to have this bookstore. If I can make you happy, I’d do anything.”
Without another word you press your lips against his, a laugh escaping him as he holds you tight.
-
Seonghwa slams open the door, throwing his coat against the rack. He doesn't bother picking it up, majik floating it back to the hook. The others soon pour in, groaning at the lack of a sacrifice behind him another day more. Just as they begin to scold, Hongjoong enters first. Seeing the anger rising in Seonghwa, he tells the others to leave the room with a brief look. San looks the most worried, but Hongjoong pats him, a silent comfort. Once they’re all gone Hongjoong moves to his potions. He doesn't bother waiting for Seonghwa to speak, knowing that he would just let it brew until he explodes.
"Is it about that human again?"
Seonghwa meekly nods.
"What did you see?" He asks simply.
"A human, there was a human woman. But it wasn't like any other…" He trails off, mind lost. "I cannot explain it. But it didn't even flinch at my attempts to shift its mind. It only blinked at me, Hongjoong. I thought it might be because I haven't fed, so I tried it on another and it worked. How is that possible? Tell me.”
Hongjoong frowns, delicately balancing a glass between his fingers, “Delusions?”
“It was real!”
“Alright, no need to yell,” Hongjoong waves the steam from the glass through the air. “A human woman, you said? And you’re sure it wasn’t a Seelie teasing you?”
Seonghwa begins to pace back and forth. “There was no majik used while I was attempting to enter her head. But there was a wall, something blocking me from it. I tried to penetrate but stopped once I noticed my majik draining rapidly. No one was ever able to do anything like that to me. Never. In all honesty, I would have dragged her here to be tested but her human partner intercepted.”
“It made you out to be a fool,” Hongjoong teases, ignoring the glare he shoots at him. “It’s a human, Seonghwa. There isn’t a shield in their mind that you cannot penetrate. But it doesn’t matter now, you’ve brought the other with you, right?”
"The other…?"
"The human, Hwa. The one to feed on."
“Yes, but –”
“Then let the others feed. We can figure out this strange human later. Look in your literature if you must, but it shouldn’t be anything too odd. Perhaps it’s just an anomaly. Though it happens once a millennia, it is possible.”
“...So I shouldn’t worry?” His brows furrow, looking at his friend. Hongjoong places his glass on the side, moving closer to Seonghwa. He rests his fingers on his collarbone, slipping them beneath his cloak. Said man shivers at the touch, eyes shut. Hongjoong presses his lips against it. “Don’t distract me Joong.”
He grins into his skin, lightly pecking the skin before drawing back. “Don’t worry. After they feed, I can ask one of the others to see what’s wrong. Perhaps Wooyoung, he does enjoy mingling around humans. It might let something slip and we’ll figure out what’s going on.”
Seonghwa frowns, “He’s the last one that should go. San always has to chase after him when he does something unsightly.”
“First of all,” Wooyoung peers into the room through the crack in the door that he created several years ago (long story short: chasing after Jongho with a potion), “I am very well-behaved around humans. I haven’t done anything remotely unapproved in centuries, a millennia, even! One night out to woo the human isn’t going to cause a national tragedy.”
“Ah, do you recall Pompeii?” A voice from the hallway, Mingi probably, fading into the distance. Wooyoung glares, stepping into the room.
“That was one volcano.”
"You are a risk," Seonghwa says simply, turning back to Hongjoong. "It's fine. I’ll go. I’ll monitor and see if there is anything of concern, and I'll report back. It will be simpler that way," he glances at the pouting Wooyoung. "And much safer."
"Whatever," Hongjoong shrugs. "Not this time Wooyoung. We can't risk it. The human might already know more than we think. We have to play it safe for now."
Wooyoung frowns, "Mistake. He'll gut the human before we'll ever get the chance to meet her."
"Hey–"
"He won't," Hongjoong adds. "At least not yet. We have to convince her to come here so we can do testing. He can do it. Now let's go enjoy the feast with the others. The mood is too low around here." Seonghwa tries to catch his eyes but Hongjoong avoids them purposefully, fingers entwined with his as he drags him from the room, Wooyoung close.
Their home is rather large to house the leaders of the Unseelie. Meetings are often conducted from their parlor or garden. Maintained by the majik flowing through the air, they glide along the marble floors, vines curling around their furniture and sculptures. They can hear the music as they move closer to the others, need filling their minds. Feeding is scarce these days – humans are more wary of faeries now than ever. Balls and masquerades are rare, if ever. They've settled for one human every few weeks shared amongst them. Hongjoong encourages his friend to step forward, a sigh escaping his lips as the doors open.
The two enter the room, a disgruntled look on Seonghwa’s face, Hongjoong trailing after. The others sit in a circle as the human dances with San, twirling around in circles over and over again. Seonghwa slides in his designated seat next to Wooyoung, ignoring the grin he sends him.
“You’re tainting my good mood, Wooyoung.”
“Are you ever in a good mood? Weren’t you upset earlier that the special edition of that kit you wanted didn’t arrive yet? Before you left for that human again.”
Seonghwa widens his eyes, “It’s been over a year. They said it would ship out last week, but I never got a notification!”
“Oh woe is you,” Wooyoung teases, leaping from his seat when he sees Seonghwa’s arm rise. “Hey! You said no more flora!”
“It’s fungi this time,” Seonghwa frowns, but drops his hand. Wooyoung lets out a sigh of relief, glancing at the two dancing. The human’s feet are bloodied now, stumbling over the jagged rocks on the ground. It cries, San’s laugh in juxtaposition at the sound. The smell of blood fills the air, Wooyoung's eyes darkening at the scent. The others begin to match his expression, surrounding the human. It does not understand what's happening because of the majik. They die as happy as they live. Seelie have more morally sound ways of killing humans but it is all the same in the end. The Unseelie just like to have more fun. San pulls the human’s face close to his, breathing in its essence. The human grows paler, slowly surrounded by the eight.
The echo of a body falling to the floor surrounds them.
-
"Sales have gone sour," Soobin reads over the end of day report, his frown creating lines decorating his forehead "Barely hit even today. It's like everyone's forgotten we exist."
"It will get better," you say softly, nudging him with your knee. He would usually give you a reassuring smile, but he doesn't react at all, narrowing his eyes. "Bin…"
"We can't continue like this," he murmurs. "Sales just keep going lower and lower. I've been here forever and it's never been this bad. I mean… Hell, my opening day I made more sales than today. And at that time no one knew I even opened the shop. I just don't get why they're not coming around anymore."
You. It's all you. They're afraid of you.
Soobin seems to read your flattened expression, shaking his head. "It's not you."
"It's been going downhill ever since I've been around. I’m the cause of it, Soobin. We can't just ignore that."
"It's a correlation, not causation. And people came in anyway. There's no valid reason why this would be all your fault, y/n. I promise you that."
“What else could it be then, Soobin? They’ve all told you that they don’t like me. You know that they avoid me every chance they get. People see me in the shop and turn the other way. I’m the one that’s continuing to burden you, and you know it,” you rub your face. “I thought in the beginning, coming here would somehow help you, bring this shop to where we want it to be. But it seems to be the opposite. It seems like… like my presence is everything wrong about this place–”
“You can’t keep blaming yourself,” he protests. He takes a step to you but you take one back, shaking your head. He drops his outstretched hands, a sigh escaping his lips. “Then what do you suggest? If you think it’s true?”
“I don’t know,” you admit. “Leave? Not you, just me. To see if the sales pick up. To see what’s really going on around here.”
He slowly shakes his head, “No.”
“Soo–”
“It’s like…” he furrowed his eyebrows. “It’s like you’re ignoring everything I tell you. I’ve told you so many times that we can leave if you’re uncomfortable. That we can leave together, but you insisted on staying here. Dealing with the people. And I know you’re doing it for me y/n, I know that. But I don’t want you to be miserable, and I don’t want you to live like this. I know we’re not at the stage of being life partners yet. I know we aren’t married. But sometimes it feels like you put your feelings below mine, and I just don’t think that’s okay you know? All it does is make me feel worse, and make you feel worse. I want us to talk about things. I don’t want you to leave the neighborhood by yourself. If you’re leaving, I’m leaving. That’s how it’s going to be. We stick together.”
“Soobin…” You close your eyes. “You love it here.”
“And I can find somewhere else I love. It’s not that hard.”
You want to listen to his words. It all makes sense. But he’s dreamt of having this bookstore here forever. In all honesty, even if you had to commute to see him every other day, you would if it made him happy. You’re just not too sure if he would be able to find somewhere else he loves as much as this small town. You’ve never seen him happier, except for right now.
“It is hard, Bin.”
The breath he lets out now feels more irritated. “You’re not even trying to compromise.”
“You love it here, Soobin! I don’t want to be the person to ruin your dream because people around here hate me and are isolating you from the neighborhood–”
“Fuck, y/n,” he slams his hand on the counter. “All we’re doing is speaking in circles. You want to leave me here alone, then what? What will happen when I thrive? Will you just never come here again? What? What’s the solution, hm?”
You open your mouth, then close it. He stares at you waiting for a response, but you have nothing. What would you do if it’s successful? Would you just leave him alone, never coming back? Are you holding him back? There’s so many questions without answers but you know one thing: everyone in this neighborhood hates you. And it’s ruining his bookstore.
“Would you break up with me?” He asks softer this time.
Without question you shake your head, “No. Of course not.”
“You mean more to me than this bookstore, y/n,” he says softly, picking his words carefully. “Plans are often disrupted when we least expect it. I can love somewhere else. We can be somewhere else, anywhere. I’d move across the ocean for you without question. That’s what love is. We compromise, we make choices for us, not just one of us. I’ll be happy with you, wherever we are,” his eyes soften as they look into yours. “Do you hear me?”
You nod slowly, letting him move closer and pull you into his embrace. His touch is comforting, despite the lump in your throat.
-
“We kill him.”
“He’s well-liked around town. It will be noticeable,” San points out.
“Is he really that significant?”
“Enough so that people would suspect the woman.”
Hongjoong pinches the bridge of his nose. “Maybe it’s a good thing they suspect she’s the reason. She’s upset and we use it to our advantage. Humans need comfort when something unexpected happens in their lives, much more so than us. Her mind will be more open to change. It’ll be wise to have Wooyoung enter her life then. Convince her to come with him after a few weeks of getting to know each other.”
“Wooyoung,” San raises his brow. “Out of the eight of us, you believe that the trickster would be of comfort to a human woman mourning a relationship? What happened to Seonghwa going?”
“He’s a bit preoccupied with affairs from the Seelie. And what’s wrong with Woo? He’s silly, no?” Hongjoong says. “Humans enjoy humor.”
“I doubt she would enjoy it. His silliness is not in line with a human’s. We are Unseelie for a reason.”
“He’s your mate and yet you doubt him.”
“He’s our mate so you should doubt him in this case as well.”
Hongjoong pauses for a moment, thinking. Though he does not know of you as well as the others – they’ve researched your every move since you’ve stepped foot into existence – San has a bit of knowledge when it comes to humans. Hongjoong doesn’t often meander around the outside world. And his duties prevent him from doing so anyway. “Would Seonghwa suffice? We’ll just wait until he comes back?”
San deadpans, only causing Hongjoong to sigh.
“Well I know you hate being around humans, so who else do you suggest?”
There’s a knock on the door, before it hits the wall completely. The two of them turn. Yunho holds Wooyoung by his collar, the younger glaring at him before looking at the two in the room. His grin widens when he meets San’s eyes, a sigh escaping the latter.
“What have you done?” Is all that San utters.
Yunho speaks for him. “Perhaps Wooyoung was the best choice, since he broke orders and went to see her first.” Yunho lets go of him, stepping to the side. “Mingi caught him in the act before anything else could happen. We’ll have to produce another plan.”
“What did he do?” Hongjoong frowns.
“Perhaps,” Wooyoung slowly walks around the room. “I made the decision for us. He will no longer be a problem.” Yunho glares at the shorter man as he meanders around the tables, touching things he absolutely should not be handling. It takes a moment for Hongjoong to realize exactly what he means by his shallow words, a laugh escaping his throat.
“You killed him?”
He shrugs, “It was an issue that needed to be solved quickly. We can decide how to move forward now that the human is dead.”
“Does she know he is dead?”
Wooyoung rolls his eyes, “Of course not!”
“Joong, you should be more angry about this,” Yunho interrupts the conversation. “He blatantly went against our orders and did something that we were forbidden to do without knowledge. He should be punished.”
Despite Hongjoong’s leader position, he’s had a soft spot for Wooyoung since they’ve known each other. Since this Spark began. He was the last to be bound with the others, only making the leader more protective of him. Thus, spoiling him much more so in comparison to the others. It hasn’t truly been a problem. But in instances like this, when they’re so close to human affairs, they need to be more careful. So, despite his softened heart when he gazes at Wooyoung, Yunho is right. Hongjoong had to make an example.
“No stepping foot onto human land until I say.”
Wooyoung’s eyes widened, beginning to protest until he saw how serious Hongjoong looked. He meekly nodded, shooting Yunho a quick glare before exiting the room. Just as the door closes, Hongjoong rubs his forehead, thinking.
San stands in the same spot, glancing between the two. “Was it bloody?”
“Better to not describe it,” Yunho murmurs. “Mingi is there now. He’ll fix it.”
“Great,” Hongjoong sighs. “Well, now we have to conjure up something else.”
–
Days prior
The door creaks as you slowly open it, the smell of wet plywood and a distinct musk of cotton balls fills the home. Your eyes roam over the broken furniture, smashed television and endless amounts of shattered glass across the floor. You hold your breath, stepping into the empty spaces as you make your way around. Soobin is one of the kindest men you know; it’s almost comical to see everything destroyed. He valued everything that was broken. You just can’t wrap your head around the fact that he ruined it all. Because of a silly disagreement? You’ve had plenty of those. Why is this time different from the rest?
It seemed like it was solved that day. But the pressure between you two escalated. Each time the topic was brought up, he’d get angrier. Hated your explanations for wanting to go, and didn’t like the option of you wanting to stay. Nothing the two of you came up with satisfied the other, so it just climaxed into curt greetings in the morning, silent conversations in the evening. But you didn’t think it was this bad. This terrible, for him to leave your shared apartment like this.
Between the destruction, you spot a letter crumbled up on the floor. It takes everything within you to pick it up and see what it says. His words are scrawled, almost unrecognizable. As if he wrote it in a hurry. But it’s as clear as day.
I’m done.
Your eyes begin to shake, fingers gripping the paper so tightly it begins to rip. Without another word you take out your phone, dialing his number over and over again. It sends you to voicemail immediately – until at some point it says the line has been disconnected. He blocked you? He destroyed your shared home, your things, left a crumpled-up letter on the floor and then blocked you?
“Fuck,” you drop to your knees, staring at the disaster around you. You reach for your phone, immediately dialing the non-emergency line to report it. As the operator explains the steps for you to take, your own thoughts making her voice fade. So many questions rattled in your head, one stamped in the front of your mind.
What will you do now?
-
Now
Mingi rests on the branch, wings tucked to his sides as he observes your home another day in a row. From where he sits, he can see how anxiety ridden you are; cabinets opening and closing, drawers overflowing with clothing, tears staining your cheeks as you try to clean the mess. The others told him that humans felt emotions differently than fae. That they mourn for months on end, possibly years. It's not something he can quite understand, but he empathizes. At least he thinks he does. His head tilts as he watches you. He surely hopes you will forget the human sooner rather than later. Hongjoong promised he wouldn't attempt to coax your mind to fall for their charms. Insisted that you'd do it on your own. But this destruction, it makes him worry.
Not for himself, of course. He feels nothing for you. What he worries about is his spark. About how much they care about you. So even if Hongjoong promised he'd never bind you to them with a spell… well.
Mingi never gave such a promise.
It’s true; he didn't like you. He didn't like that you were in his family's life without even knowing it yet. He didn't like that you were making his spark so happy. How could a human who barely interacted with them have such a pull? It makes no sense entirely. But what else would he be able to do? Coax you into leaving? The others would be angry with him, furious even. The thought of binding you to them immediately vanishes the more he thinks about it. Humans being involved with faeries only lead to bad outcomes. He wouldn’t dare make that certain with a spell.
He knew that humans felt emotions differently than fae. He knew that you were still grieving the loss of you and your partner’s relationship despite it being weeks ago. But he didn't care. He watched as you paced back and forth, your hands shaking as you swept the floor. He watched as you cried, your tears staining your cheeks. He watched as you tried to clean your destroyed home, and he still felt nothing. Well, annoyance, maybe. Having to watch you to make sure nothing strange happens.
He can remember how he came to Wooyoung, noticing the smell of blood over him mixed with majik. Mingi didn’t say a word about it at first, until he noticed the strange look on Wooyoung’s face. The way his eyes dilated, the scattered look in his gaze. Faeries, you see, Unseelie like them, feeding off a human gives them this sort of increase in energy. Makes their abilities much stronger than before. But there are times when an Unseelie feeds too much, too often. When the feeling consumes them, it makes them much more dangerous than before. Mingi hasn’t seen it in a while so it was easy to recognize it consuming his mate. The distant look. Immediately flying to your home, seeing the blood everywhere. It took him so long to fix it up enough so that you wouldn’t notice a thing. Wouldn’t notice the strong smell of death in the apartment. And just as a precaution, he decided to stay and watch you. To make sure he didn’t miss a thing.
You fall to the floor, sobs echoing around the small space. His eyes narrow for a moment, a strange thought almost escaping his parted lips.
He wonders if you will be alright.
-
“Did she take it well?” Hongjoong asks Mingi, lips quirked when he sees the frown on his cheeks. “It is only a minor setback. It should be over soon.”
It’s several days later when Hongjoong calls Mingi into his room. Mingi doesn’t really like entering, the mess is a bit overwhelming sometimes. But he sees that he fixed it up enough for him to tolerate it. A small gesture of kindness in a strange situation.
“She will be devastated for months on end.”
“She will get over it.”
Mingi’s brow furrows. “Though I don’t know humans well enough to make a judgment, I think it’s safe to say that her getting over it won’t happen for a while. You’re overestimating her emotional state, Hongjoong. She was crying over a photo of them together. She cried over human utensils.”
Hongjoong snickers, shrugging, “What can I do? Her human partner is already deceased somewhere along the valley. It’s not like I can bring him back to life again. Playing with Death isn’t wise, you know. Even for an Unseelie. Plus,” he wiggles his fingers. “I promised that I wouldn’t manipulate her mind to care for us. Nothing else I can do. Maybe Yunho or Jongho could cheer her up, they seem to care for her the most.”
“They don’t know her. None of us do.”
“They seem to know enough.”
Mingi could read between the lines. Hongjoong’s dance around the truth is almost humorous now. The word seem. He lines his sentences with it often, using it to twist a lie enough to be partially true. Though Seonghwa was the one who was most interested in the beginning – mostly to dissect her – Hongjoong’s interest is slowly rising. Especially since the others are focused on her more now.
What is this human doing to his spark? None of them even know you in the slightest except for some background details. What is this quite random obsession with a human? Especially one as mundane and ordinary as you?
“You look irritated,” Hongjoong notes, flipping through his papers. “Letting those emotions dwell isn’t good for you.”
“You all care for this stranger too much, it’s infuriating.”
Hongjoong grins, “Or do you just care for her too little?”
Mingi closes his eyes for a moment, a harsh gust of air escaping his nose. He pinches it slightly, eyes flicking back to his friend. “We aren’t supposed to care for humans at all.”
“And yet here we are, doing that exact thing.”
“Stop saying we,” Mingi frowns, Hongjoong’s eyes lighting up.
“So is it not true, then? Do you not care for her?”
“I care that she is affecting everyone."
"Not unlike a faerie, twisting your words," Hongjoong giggles.
"Hongjoong," Mingi sighs. "We can't continue like this. There has to be something done. I can't continue to pretend like everything is fine when it's the opposite."
This time, the giggle slowly disappearing from Hongjoong’s expression. He nods solemnly. "And it will be dealt with. It will take time, Mingi. We can't mess up. Not now when tensions are so high between us and the Seelie. If there is something different about her, majik or otherwise, we have to figure it out. It may ease the tension if only momentarily. She seems like a decent human no? I can bet that she will be willing to sacrifice her well being for an important cause."
"You think a human would care about faeries that feed on humans?"
Hongjoong shrugs, "Either that, or we take her unwillingly. It's her choice in the end."
"Not much of one."
Hongjoong grins, "Well she doesn't need to know that."
-
Seonghwa picks up his book, flicking through the pages. Nothing stands out. There isn’t any record of a human being that has resisted the charm of a faerie from what he can see. Not any ordinary humans, at least. But he found you unextraordinary. Nothing makes you stand out from the crowd, nothing that catches his eye. You just happened to be at the right place, right time. Interesting how circumstances led him to gloss over these pages, desperate to find a reason why you are the way you are. Is it a natural defense? Has human evolution created subspecies that are resistant to the charm of a Unseelie?
If that is so, they’re existence on this Earth will begin to fade.
His fingers grip the research papers, jaw tightening. The words running through his head annoy him, but there’s nothing else he can do. He must dissect you. But how will he get you here? How will your disappearance go unnoticed in such a small town? How will he separate your mind from that tall human you call your partner?
“Your thoughts are plastered on your face, Hwa,” Yeosang steps into the room, tailed by San. Seonghwa has noticed that they are often together, the eldest of the two ignoring San’s presence most of the time. But all of them can see through it. Despite how aloof Yeosang is, he adores the attention given to him. Swims in it, even. So, as it always is, Yeosang barely gives the man a glance, sitting on the edge of the sofa. “I heard about this human you found.”
“It’s resistant, Yeosang. I can’t have it roaming around without us knowing why we can’t charm it. There must be a reason.”
“Like in the movies,” San widens his eyes, nudging Yeosang. “The one person who has the cure!”
Seonghwa rolls his eyes, “This isn’t a zombie flick.”
“You don’t know that. We could be in one right now.”
Yeosang snorts, San puffing up his chest. Despite how irritated Seonghwa is, his lips crack into a small smile, only boosting San’s ego. He closes his notebook, rubbing his face. “I have to know why.”
“Have to, or want to?” Yeosang asks, brow raised. “We could just leave it as is. If another human found out about it, it could lead down a rabbit hole.”
“Let her go?” Seonghwa frowns. “Wooyoung already interfered. Letting it all go won’t end well.”
“You will take her then? Run tests to see why she’s resistant? It would be difficult to pull her from her life, but humans already suspect that she’s a bad luck charm in her village. It’s not like they’d be unhappy she’s gone,” Yeosang sniffs a jar, face contorting at the smell. “Rancid.”
“It’s frog intestines boiled in a rat’s tail and mermaid essence,” Seonghwa murmurs, Yeosang covering his face to keep from gagging. “But how do you know about that? Were you researching?”
San speaks up this time, “Jongho visited her at the bookstore her partner owns. Well, owned. It wasn’t long until he heard whispers of the villagers talking about getting rid of her because of the disappearances that have been happening ever since she arrived in town. And now it's her partner.”
“It’s not even her fault,” Yeosang adds.
“Humans are disloyal,” Seonghwa tsks. “But it is best for us I suppose. They will probably bask and rejoice in her disappearance.”
"That's a bit pitiful. It doesn't come as a surprise that she wanted to leave so badly. I wouldn't want to be around people that hate me either."
"But now she won't leave because she doesn't know what happened to that Soobin. The mystery of his disappearance may cause her to stay for a long time. A lot of humans aren't able to move on from partners that are gone," Seonghwa rubs his face. "It's difficult to know what to do without seeing her."
"Go," Jongho enters the room, Mingi just behind him. Both drenched in sweat from their training session, Seonghwa's nose wrinkles in disgust when he sees fluids drip onto his floor. "Visit her. I'll join if you'd like."
"Not necessary. Mingi," Seonghwa's focus moves to the taller of the two. Mingi raises his brow. "Was she distraught?"
He nods slowly. "Very much so. That was a few weeks ago though. She may have calmed down. But there is no guarantee; we all know how emotional humans are."
“You’re sensitive to emotions Seonghwa, are you sure you’re willing to go there? Humans irritate you to no end,” Wooyoung murmurs. “I can go –”
“You messed up the last time, Wooyoung. And back then we didn’t even tell you much about her. There’s no telling what you’ll do now. It’s better if you’re not interested at all,” San wraps his arm around his neck, tugging him out the room. The door closes slightly behind them. Yeosang, Mingi, and Jongho remain in the room with Seonghwa.
Idle conversation swirls around the room as they speak softly, Seonghwa gathering up his belongings. His curiosity greatly surpasses his lack of care for humankind. If there is someone like you out there, how many more are the same? He can remember the conversation you had with your partner - how you were afraid of something being off. It was Seonghwa of course, but rarely has a human ever felt the chills of faeries around them. So many things don’t come to proper conclusions in his head and he needs to know. For the safety of himself and every person in this home. Perhaps for the fate of the Unseelie entirely.
He leaves the library, book tucked underneath his arm. He enters his room, barely giving Hongjoong - who rests in his bed - a glance. He listens as he stands up from the sheets, an arm wrapping around his waist, tugging him closer.
Hongjoong presses his lips against his back, humming. “There’s no need to hold the weight of the world on your shoulders. The human probably doesn’t even know of its resistance to your lure. It may just be one in a billion.”
“I have to make sure. It’s for all of us, not just me,” Seonghwa says, pulling away from his hold. It’s something they often do - Hongjoong tries to pull him closer only for Seonghwa to pull away. It’s happened ever since the beginning. “You know that. You should be more worried than me.”
“Why worry about a silly little human?” Hongjoong snorts. “She will die in a few decades anyway.”
“It seems like I’m the only one who cares about her existence,” Seonghwa lifts his clothes and tosses them, replacing them with a more human-like outfit. He barely gives himself a look in the mirror, a scowl etched on his features. How humans have not moved past such hideous outfits is beyond him. “I would kill her if it weren’t for the unknown.”
“Everyone and this little human,” Hongjoong sighs. “Fine. Do whatever you’d like. Just be back for the council meeting. The other Unseelies don’t quite approve of the recent killings we’ve done.”
Seonghwa furrows his brows, “Since when did they care about our dealings?”
“Since they’ve begun to notice the pattern of disappearances. Humans are not exactly happy with us, even though they don’t have a method of killing us.”
“Then me interacting with her now is important,” Seonghwa quickly grabs his bag. “I’ll be back with my findings. And I won’t kill her. At least not right now.” he glances at his leader. “Don’t wait for me if I’m not back for the meeting.”
“Hwa-”
He disappears just as Hongjoong begins to speak. Hongjoong stares blankly at the place he once was, brows furrowed. Just what is it about this human that has everyone losing their minds? He purses his lips, lifting himself off the bed. Soon enough he’ll find out for himself.
-
Seonghwa slowly enters the bookstore. The bell rings against the glass pane of the door, his steps hesitant. There isn't anyone around the bookstore, soft music playing. He tucks his hands into his coat pocket, unaccustomed to the cold environment. His eyes roam around, books neatly stacked, signs arranged in alphabetical order. It warms his heart a bit to see organization – his own library doesn't see it as much as he'd like. The quick steps of a human running pulls his thoughts away, eyes flicking over to you.
You hold a couple of books in your hand, hair unkempt and eyes filled with exhaustion. A pen tucked behind your ear, you give him a sincere smile, placing the books in a neat stack on the counter.
"Welcome to our bookstore!" You say happily, meeting the eyes of the stranger. Just as you do, your thoughts move back to over a month or so ago. The festival. The stranger in the woods. Your smile wavers for a moment as you look at him. He looks as ordinary as a man with unreal beauty can look. Perhaps you were a bit out of it at the time. Still, you remain wary, inching closer to the counter behind you.
"Hello, I’m Seonghwa," he says softly. His voice is deep, eyes dark as he stares at you. His hair is darker than any black you've seen, even the shade of brown in his eyes more black than anything else. His clothing choice is odd as well - a thin graphic tee and slacks covering sports shoes. Completely and utterly different from the well-dressed man in a cloak you witnessed in the forest. He looks uncomfortable in it as well, tugging slightly on the fabric. You swallow slowly, forcing another grin on your lips.
"Hi, I’m y/n. How can I help you?"
"I'm quite new to venturing out into town," he steps around, fingertips stroking the top of a stack of new hardcovers. "The others told me of a bookstore and a café together in one. If you don't mind, I'd like to look around and perhaps have a drink. Whenever you are ready to prepare?"
You push the eerie feeling away, agreeing. "Of course. What would you like, then?"
Seonghwa sits himself at your favorite spot - a small loveseat situated near the front windows. The same place Soobin and you would rest after a long day, counting tills. The light shines on him as he ponders, eyes flicking over the assortment of sweets and drink displays behind you. You take a step to the side and he sends you a small thank you in the form of a smile. He leans, gazing at your open cabinets. "Anything with saffron. Or sweet, I do quite enjoy that."
You ponder for a moment, before opening your cabinet and retrieving your tea leaves. You take out the honey as well, not noticing how his eyes widen at the jar. You take out the milk as well, glancing at Seonghwa. "Milk tea with honey? I should have some cookies around…" You mumble, digging through the drawer. "Soobin usually eats it all."
"Soobin?" His brows furrow.
You pause.
"Yes, my partner. Former partner. The person who owns this place," you raise your brow. There's an unreadable look on his face, but it doesn't linger long enough for you to consider what it was. Setting the water to a boil, you slide back into your seat, humming. "There's a small farmhouse just next to the Rowan trees that I'm looking to buy. Just a few more days until I find out if I get it or not." It’s outside of the town enough that you’d still be able to live comfortably. Moving into the city right now is on the bottom of your list. And even if you do decide to leave, at least you’ll have a place to fall back on. It isn’t too expensive since it’s been abandoned for years now.
"You're married?" He asks, thanking you as you pass him his tea and the honey jar.
"No, it’s complicated right now. I’m not too sure where he is if I'm being honest.”
You see the puzzled look on his face, and quickly clear it up.
“We had a falling out not too long ago. That’s why the shop looks this way. But yeah, I planned on moving soon. At least when I found something more stable," you think. Though the two of you were friends before partners, Soobin always gave little answer or thought to marriage. In fact, he said he started to consider it only when you brought it up. That was three years ago. Now, you don’t even know where he is, or if he’s coming back.
"Are you sure about that?" He raises his brow.
“About what?”
“Finding somewhere else. I remember you mentioning that this place looks a bit…” he trails off. “But it looks fine to me. Perhaps a bit too orderly for a small town bookstore.”
You blink quickly. “Oh. Thanks.”
“Not a problem,” he shrugs, taking a sip of his tea.
You move away from him then, grabbing your stack of books off the table and going back to work. The fear of him being around you has subsided. Though there is still a mysterious cloud around him, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before in your travels through the city. You curse yourself for even mentioning Soobin, placing the books on the shelves. You probably drove away another customer in your whines to the stranger.
You glance back at him and see that he's reading one of the magazines you've left on the table, sipping his tea. How someone could look elegant while sitting in a t-shirt is beyond your understanding.
"Do you enjoy the town?" You ask, finishing your task. He looks up from the magazine.
"It's quite alright. Just like any other small town. Intrusive townspeople, curious eyes following you wherever you go. Clovers to drive away mysterious creatures of the night," his lips lift. "Ah, speaking of that…"
The bell rings, your focus on the door. A few patrons enter, distracting you. Just as you finish helping and guiding their questions away from your missing boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, whatever he is – you look over to the loveseat and see it empty. Seonghwa must have slipped away while you were distracted. Resting beneath the teacup is way too much money. With a small note wrapped around it.
Thank you for the tea.
Next to the sentence lies a small drawing of a four-leaf clover.
—
You stare at the computer, frustration growing. The webpage doesn't help you in the slightest. Lines and lines of retellings of the same old tales. Faeries are dangerous, stay away from the fae. Don't listen to the fae, don't accept gifts from them. The same things over and over. Words that have been embedded into your very being. Nothing of which is news to you. Your eyes flick to the small list you've created, summarizing everything you've read thus far and narrowing it to a few points.
How to survive an encounter with an Unseelie fae [fǣġe]:
Do not eat what they offer. Do not drink what they offer.
Majik always has a price, do not risk a deal. Do not ask for them to save a loved one. Do not ask for them to take your firstborn. Do not accept any offer they may give you.
Do not invite them into your home.
Faeries cannot lie. Because of this, they are eloquent with their words. Do not be fooled.
Do not summon an Unseelie.
If you see something strange, leave immediately. Four leaf clovers are a sign of a faerie near.
Do not celebrate with faeries. Under any circumstances.
Do not enter the forest at night.
If you are followed by a crow or raven, enter the nearest home and do not leave until it is gone. The Unseelie are following you.
Do not fall in love with a faerie, they will not love you the same.
"This is so insane," You put your head in your hands. Maybe that's why Soobin left. He saw how you'd turn out before you even did. You snort at the thought, rubbing your face. Seonghwa's drawing of the four-leaf clover could be just a coincidence. It's not like it isn't an obvious symbol painted and carved into almost every building around town. And yet, the way he's acted, the stares you felt on you when your back was turned – something was off with him. Even if he isn't a faerie, he's something.
Or you're truly just being silly.
You stare at the list again, adding one more point.
Faeries are not affected by four-leaf clovers.
#fic: wonderwall#ateez x reader#seonghwa x reader#hongjoong x reader#yunho x reader#yeosang x reader#san x reader#mingi x reader#wooyoung x reader#jongho x reader#ateez fanfiction#ateez angst#ateez fluff#ateez fanfic
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As someone who is partly deaf, I love that deaf Tim stuff. But hear me out for something that could work for either of them. What if on complete accident when both the Bats and Rouges hear about Tim's disability, the Rouges are the ones who do a better job with not looking down on Tim. Yes they add things to help him, like for Deaf Tim Joker would also use ASL as he monologs to make sure that Tim can understand him or with Blind Tim Riddler makes puzzle rooms themed around telling the difference in textures or he reads all the riddles out loud.
Meanwhile the Bats are. They *tried* ok? But they keep over compensating because they worry about Tim. Unlike the Rouges who don't pull their punches, during training the Bats do start pulling punches and going a little easier on Tim. Dick keeps trying to do things for Tim that Tim knows he can do. Bruce keeps taking him off cases that involve in person investigation. Damian keeps saying things about how all tasks should be left to him because clearly he's the superior one (if it's early Damian, later on when they're on better terms he wouldn't be as assholish about it but also keeps trying to take over tasks for Tim)
I'm really really glad that you vibed with the AU.
As far as your additions, I 100% agree. Having "good intentions" for people can still be harmful and frustrating. That's why, in these AUs, Tim tries to hide his disability until he's able to prove his efficiency. It's dealer's choice whether the Bats choose to acknowledge the evidence or are still doubting his capabilities.
I think the fic from the OG post has a scene where Babs, Cass, and Tim meet up to discuss the microaggressions they face from the Bats due to their respective disabilities. The sequel definitely has cute interactions between Damian and Tim. Damian refuses for anyone to treat his "rival" as weak or incapable. Peak siblings energy.
The funny part I find about this would be the Rogues accommodating Tim's disabilities just so they can defeat him. If Joker learned ASL for Tim, he'd probably research the hell out of how to look intimidating and scary while doing it (since, depending on Tim's hearing loss, Joker can't effectively utilize the vocal tone skills he's trained to be terrifying). Riddler would treat it as another puzzle and mental exercise (his Riddles would likely increase in accessibility for multiple disabilities as time progresses. He wants to challenge folks by their thinking abilities, not by their ability to test within the constraints placed on them. Perhaps, after his research and new implementations, he even starts targeting schools that unfairly places confines on their students [from both a socioeconomic standpoint and from improper accommodations]).
Anyways, I would love a fic that highlights some of the Bats' treatment of Tim and how not to interact with folks of different disabilities. Stuff like infantilizing, doing tasks for the person without permission, assuming what someone can handle, and disregarding them. It'd be cool to watch Tim try open communication (asking boundaries and what level of assistance the person desires) with all of them. For some, that's all that's needed. They have a clear guideline of "that shit was not okay" and the lines of communication are open for them to ask clarification in the future. For others, they listen to Tim, agree to change, and still pull that shit. I personally vote for Tim getting petty.
I feel like Babs and Cass would be the ones to understand the most that Tim can do anything he sets his mind to (he's so incredibly stubborn that he'd probably even be able to steal LexCorp from Luthor if he was motivated enough. He most likely even has plans already drawn for it ready to implement at any point). Duke would probably understand how others' perceptions of Tim affect him.
I also kill for Tim utilizing WE resources to bring aid and accommodations based on more specific audiences (such as how kids in the foster system, LGBT youth, and those with disabilities [both mental and physical] disportionately make up the homeless population).
I'm rambling a bit because sociology is a passion of mine. I'd get a higher education on the subject if I had the money.
Anyways, I love considering such perspectives in fanfiction. Let me know if there's other stuff I should add to this AU!
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[part three] trouble - takuma ino
word count: 7k
warnings: swearing, canon typical violence mentioned, shibuya arc mentions
summary: just when she thinks she's got her feelings all sorted out, the shibuya incident has to go and fuck it all up.
contents: friends to lovers, gojo!reader, your favorite sappy scene where a finds b injured and loses their mind <3 we skimmed over key points in the arc bc i just couldn't do it folks
part three: "god, don't let me lose my mind"
___
As it turns out, the deeper something is buried the scarier it is when it comes back up, and it was a terrifying sight to have every hidden ounce of her affections thrown back at her face- or more accurately, shoved up her throat.
The Shibuya Incident changed everything.
She’d assumed she’d follow Nanami and his small team that consisted of a first year, Fushiguro Megumi, and then of course Ino. However, when she arrived on the scene, Ijichi had instructed that she was to find Zen’in Naobito and the students under his supervision, Kugisaki Nobara and Maki.
“I don’t understand,” She shook her head at the manager beckoned for him to show her the electronic paperwork with the order. “Nanami’s mentoring me for Grade One, why would I be sent away?”
Ijici anxiously glanced between her and the team of three who also seemed confused by the sudden change in development.
“I- I’m so sorry, Gojo-san,” He stammered. He never did like making people upset with the orders handed to him, most days he was merely a messenger, however when it came to the Gojos specifically, this was his worst nightmare. “Here, it’s all here, I- I don’t know why they’d separate you, perhaps more foot traffic? Uh, the station is quite overpopulated and there’s, um, only a few people scouting the perimeter”
As he holds out his device she swipes it up gingerly, eyes scanning through the order from the higher ups with great speed. Ijichi gulped down the lump in his throat, praying she wouldn’t break the phone with her iron group.
“It’s alright, (y/n),” Nanami came to the manager’s rescue. “We’ll be fine, the three of us. You should go with them”
She passed the phone back to Ijichi with a small nod of gratitude for his help, and he was quick to disappear, likely off to report back to Nitta.
“They’ve still got me,” Ino grinned from ear to ear, before throwing his arm up against Megumi’s shoulder. The boy gave him a bored look before shrugging him off.
(y/n) gives him a look that tells him her concern didn’t lie in their ability to handle the situation in the slightest. The greatest concern right now was that everyone’s cell phones were out of service due to the veil over the area, which effectively cut off all communication between the divided teams. The idea of splitting off from the two of them- and Megumi- unsettled her.
Since she’d arrived on the scene shortly after her brother, there had been a twist of unease in her gut. Like something was terribly wrong. Or something terrible was bound to happen.
“Unless you’re saying you can’t handle it!” Ino tries to lighten the tension currently laying itself on thick the longer she stands before them, waiting for something that wouldn’t come.
If Nanami told her to go with them, she would.
Ino steps forward as Nanami turns to go over their orders with Megumi again, giving his pupils some semblance of privacy in the hopes of convincing (y/n) to follow the order handed to her. If she went against what was asked of her, he wouldn’t be able to cover for her if any casualties- property damage or lives- occurred.
If either one of them asked her to stay with them, she would.
She doesn’t react to Ino’s statement, which sends up warning flags in his head, knowing that usually she’d quip back something snarky about how she could handle this entire assignment by herself and blindfolded.
“This isn’t normal,” She tells him quietly once he’s close enough and she thinks Megumi won’t be able to eavesdrop. She doesn’t want to alarm him, but this gut feeling of hers was starting to eat her up. “They’ve never split us like this before. Something isn’t right”
Ino believes her, already having his suspicions that something was off when he’d arrived with Nanami, but even if he didn’t trust her judgment, he could see the apprehension clearly in her eyes, and that was reason enough for him to understand.
“I know,” He agrees quietly, glancing over his shoulder quickly to make sure Megumi and Nanami were still occupied. “But it’ll be fine, right?” He tells her hopefully, but the expression on her face doesn’t budge. She stares at him expectantly, silently begging him to say what she needed him to in order for her to stay. “We can handle it. It’ll probably only be a few hours anyways” Instead, he continues to try and talk her down from her worried ledge, unknowingly only pushing her further onto it.
Her jaw clenches as she bites down on her own teeth in order to keep herself from blowing up and saying something reckless.
She lets out a sigh to calm herself down before speaking.
“A lot can happen in a few hours”
Her eyes shift between his in a rapid movement, trying to convey everything in silence that she couldn’t say out loud. She’s not sure if it works, but for a brief moment, a flash of disturbance flickers over Ino’s face, like maybe in that second he was able to understand what she wasn’t saying. Just as quickly as she’d caught it, it was disappearing, and he was smiling again.
“Like two Grade One promotions, yeah?” He asks, holding his hand out to her.
That cracks the smallest of smiles out of her, easing her nerves for just a minute as she realized tonight could be the last thing she needed before finally getting her promotion. So she takes his hand and shakes it roughly with her enthusiasm. Ino chuckles to himself, about to pull away with his parting words of wishing her luck, but her fingers tighten around the curve of his hand and she doesn’t let him part from her just yet.
He’s confused when she stares up at him with a grave realness in her eyes, mixing with some other emotion he’s not sure he’s ever seen in them before. His features soften with his surprise, but before he could ask her what’s keeping her, she’s whispering a threat under her breath.
“Don’t do anything stupid”
It’s cold and harsh, just like how she used to treat him before shared assignments. But Ino knows better now. He understands the look of pure fear in her eyes as she mutters out the words like poison. And despite the way she’s almost frowning at him, he smiles brightly as he squeezes her hand back with the same fervor.
“I know,” He says, almost cheekily. She wants to be annoyed. Maybe even shake him by the collar and tell him she’ll kill him if anything happens to him. But she can only stand and stare at him with a slight gape of her mouth. “I promised,” He shrugs one of his shoulders like his words alone were enough to shield him from harm. “Can’t go back on my word”
And then their grip on each other is loosening, before their hands fall away altogether, and (y/n) has to swallow the lump in her throat before addressing Nanami and Megumi.
“Report back when you can, okay?” She asks, her weapon of choice already materializing in her hand.
“We’ll see you soon,” Nanami nods his head in acknowledgement. “Don’t let that old man boss you around. You can run circles around him” He adds with a hint of a smile on his face.
She nods back at him, already starting to grin from the adrenaline of rushing off into an unknown battle.
Her eyes catch Ino’s once more, and he throws up a peace sign with his fingers, tapping his forehead with them to give her half a salute.
“See you soon, partner”
___
The gut feeling had subsided while she worked side by side with Maki and Nobara, paying as little attention to the head of the Zen’in Clan as she could. For a little while, she almost considered taking a path of teaching as she aided the girls in their attacks, although they barely needed assistance, they were more than capable of defending themselves.
But it wasn’t long before they were split up, and (y/n) took the first opportunity she could to get back to her group. It was hard to tell how much time had passed, and she tried not to worry about it as she followed Nobara and Nitta to where they presumed Nanami was. Still, her heart was pounding against her ribcage with every step she took into the station.
It wasn’t professional of her, but when she found Nanami and Itadori Yuuji, her heart leapt to her throat and was speaking for her without hesitation.
“Where’s Ino?”
Itadori was excitedly asking his mentor if the woman standing before them now was his sensei’s sister, even going so far as to tug on the man’s sleeve and beg him to introduce him properly. On another day (y/n) might have been a little flattered, but right now she nearly tunes it out completely as she awaits Nanami’s answer.
“Ran into some curse users that came crawling out of the woodwork… listen, (y/n)-”
“Where is that?” She cuts him off before he could explain further, and it’s obvious the way her entire body tenses with her impatience.
Nanami frowns, not knowing how to approach the situation calmly, but there was no time to sit down and slowly walk her through it.
“Satoru has been sealed,”
She blinks, the words barely processing at all. Maybe because it wasn’t what she was expecting, or maybe because they didn’t make a lick of sense. Either way, she stands frozen and rigid before them all, not speaking a word.
“The patchwork curse is operating with something far worse that we weren’t expecting. They had access to the prison realm. Your brother is currently inside of it. We have reason to believe that Kenjaku is playing a role and-”
“It’s Suguru, isn’t it?”
His name burns in her throat as if it was cursed so heavily just speaking it sent a poison down through her bloodstream.
Nanami’s lack of an answer tells her more than she needs to know. The information tries to take over her mind, tries to nestle itself in as a proper distraction from what her next steps were going to be.
She casts it aside completely.
“My brother is stronger than the prison realm,”
Her voice is strong, and certain. Even with the small group looking at her apprehensively, (y/n’s) positive that there’s no prison on this earth stronger than Gojo Satoru. Her faith in him as a sorcerer, and as her brother, went unmatched. He would only be offended if she worried about him right now. Using Geto Suguru was a filthy trick, however, and he- his body- would have to be dealt with accordingly.
But right now, there was a more pressing stressor she needed answers for.
“Now tell me where Ino is”
___
When she arrived on the rooftop Nanami had directed her towards, her first thought was that she had the wrong one. Her chest is heaving by the time she’s bursting through the access door, the plank of wood nearly flying off it’s hinges from her force.
She hesitates for a moment, seeing there wasn’t a fight of any sorts taking place. Nanami had said there were two curse users, and at first survey, the roof is completely empty.
Save for the slumped over figure left crumpled on the ground, barely propping themselves up with one arm against a box vent. She almost doesn’t catch him there, her instinct telling her it couldn’t possibly have been Ino himself. No, it had to have been someone else-
But then her eyes catch the small but distinct shape of a black mask on the ground not far from him, and she’s darting forward with a screech of pure terror.
“Ino!?”
His name rips from her throat so harshly a neighboring crow squawks and flies away from the startling noise.
It doesn’t take many steps to bring her towards his beaten form, but she’s sprinting the short distance anyways, dropping to her knees without any grace, scraping them up on the concrete upon impact, but the sting goes unnoticed.
She’s panting harder, the wind getting knocked out of her a second time when she properly takes in his face. It’s so covered in blood she can’t even make out where it’s coming from. As her hands slide under his jaw to lift his head, praying to any deity that will listen that it isn’t his head that’s injured, she realizes then that her eyes are filling with tears and blurring her vision.
“I- Ino,” And her voice is strained too, coming out in a choked whimper, not nearly loud enough for him to hear her if he’s unconscious. “God, no no no- fuck- fuck!”
Her mumbles turn into shouts as she drops one hand from his face to pat against his chest. She doesn’t want to be rough with him, but if he doesn’t give her some sign of life soon she was going to smack the back of her hand against his face to spur something out of him.
If she lost him now, like this, then every curse and curse user in this damn city was going to pay the gruesome, ultimate price.
He stirs with the slightest of movements, a small groan coming from his chest which she feels against her hand more than she actually hears. A gasp of surprise comes out of her, before she’s pressing closer to him, her palm flat against his front, and her other hand secure in holding his head up towards her.
“You can hear me?” She mumbles with more hope than what feels right.
“Uh-huh”
It’s pitifully quiet, but it’s a distinct answer, and it evokes a sob out of her so emotionally relieving she drops her head, barely hitting his shoulder as tears of every stage of grief pour out of her. Fear. Relief. It all hits her at once.
Ino can barely register the fact that she’s sitting before him now, pressed as close as she could get with her sobs soaking into his shoulder. But he musters all the strength he can to assure her he was still alive.
“(y/n),” Another pained mutter has her lifting her head, roughly wiping at her face with the back of her hand before leaning in close to hear him. “The curse users- th-ey h-had-”
When he starts to cough up blood between his words, she hushes him, both hands gently held under his jaw again. He hisses slightly from the touch, but doesn’t pull away from it.
She’s mumbling something, but his head is pounding too hard to make out what, and his vision is too blurry to try and read her lips. With the smallest tip of his head, he’s leaning back into the box vent with a shaky exhale.
Even with his eyes closed, the faint blue glow penetrates his eyelids, and he’s trying to gather all the strength he can to lift his head and look at her again. Although he has a sneaking suspicion of what she’s doing.
The blue light brightens, and he can just barely hear her faint mumbling, whispers sounding suspiciously like begs and pleas, before something warm and solid touches his forehead.
It takes him a minute, but eventually, he’s able to crack one eye open just enough to see what’s happening.
Her hands, still held against his jaw with trembling fingers, are glowing with cursed energy. The warmth against his forehead was that of her own, pressed close and having her so much closer that the tip of her nose ghosts over his. Her eyes are squeezed shut tightly, but there’s simply too many tears to be held back, and they fall down her face in steady streams, slipping into the corners of her mouth as she continues to slur through mumbles.
“Just this once… work just this once… never ask for anything again… never need anything more… concentrate… concentrate….” Ino can just barely make out the nonsensical string of pleas tumbling out of her lips, but it’s more than he understood before. “...has to work… have to help him… think… think… relax…”
Hearing the pain in her voice makes something in his chest lurch more than when an overpowered foot nearly cracked open his ribcage just moments ago- or was it hours? He longed to bring her some semblance of comfort, but he was too tired to move his arms, and when he tried to say something, his throat was too dry to make any sound.
The most he’s capable of, is the slight tilt in his head, pressing the crown of his head back against hers with the smallest amount of force.
It does the trick, (y/n’s) mumbling halting with a quiet gasp, her eyes fluttering open and staring wide at him, tracking any miniscule movement of his features.
He’s struggling even to keep one eye cracked open, the bruising surrounding it stinging that much more just from opening it, but he wants so badly to give her some comfort of his well-being. Even if the next breath he takes is his last.
“Ino,” She whispers, her voice heavy with emotion. “You’re gonna be alright, I’m- I’m gonna-”
Before she can finish, there’s a short shift in his neck, barely shaking his head against hers. She swallows thickly, trying to keep down the lump in her throat.
“I am, I’m gonna make it better, I’m- I’m-”
“s’Okay,” He rasps out. “Go, (y/n)”
“No!” She’s louder than she means to be, and she apologizes by pushing a loose strand of his hair out of the sticky blood on his forehead, soothingly pushing her fingers through the length of his hair to keep it from irritating his face again. She repeats the motion a few more times anxiously, and her head begins to shake against his. “No- no. I’m not leaving, I’m not going anywhere”
He could almost laugh, recalling being in opposite positions almost a year ago. If he had the strength, he’d remind her that she’d begged the same thing of him once, ordering him to leave as if she had any sort of authority over him.
Now Ino feared she had too much authority. He couldn’t bear to have her here if the beat of his heart kept steadily declining.
A faint sound that almost resembled a chuckle is pushed past his lips in a short breath, warm and soft as the air hits her chin.
(y/n’s) brows furrow with her confusion as she continues to push her fingers through the length of his hair. From the top of his head to the ends at the nape of his neck, she repeats it over and over, almost obsessively. She distantly recalls Satoru doing the same for her when she was younger and would have panic attacks, and it was the first thing that would calm her down. Pathetically, she hopes it’s healing power also works for physical wounds.
“s’Okay, (y/n),” Ino repeats himself, his head suddenly feeling too heavy to hold up on his own. He barely feels his nose pressing against hers before a gentle pair of hands pull him forward, guiding him to lean against something solid, and soft. His eyes were shut again as he gave into the white hot pain from every second he tried to keep them open.
Her shoulder, she’s cradling his head against his shoulder, it registers in the back of his mind as he recognizes the scent of her perfume in the fabric he was laying against, and ruining with his blood.
“m’Sorry ‘bout breaking th’ promise” He slurs into the material.
“Don’t say that,” (y/n) scolds, but her voice is weak, and she sounds far more afraid than she does angry. “Please- please don’t say that,” She repeats in an even quieter, shakier voice.
With one hand against the nape of his neck, holding him solidly against her as his body hunches forward uncomfortably, her other hand begins to move in his hair again.
“We had a deal, didn’t we?” Her words were whispered in his ear, so she was certain he couldn’t miss a single thing. “We promised, didn’t we?” She asked again. “And I- I made good on my promise, didn’t I? Didn’t I do everything you asked?” Her tears are soaking into his hair now, but she doesn’t feel an ounce of shame as she begs him to find the strength to snap out of it and wake up properly. “I let- I let myself let you in, I really, really did,”
Her eyes fall shut in a pitiful attempt at willing her tears to stop. She doesn’t want to burden him with her fear of losing him, but the emotions crashing over her were too strong for her to take on alone. Unbeknownst to her, her hands were surrounded by her cursed energy again as they kept him close.
“And now- now you’re too close to me, Ino. And I can’t- I- I can’t-” She chokes on the words, burying her face into the crook of his neck, earning a small grunt of pained acknowledgement when her nose brushes a particularly nasty bruise. “I can’t lose you, you said I wouldn’t lose you”
The hand at his nape grabs the material of the back of his uniform, fisting it so tight her knuckles trembled and ached.
The relief suddenly washing over Ino’s body was so strong that all of his muscles were relaxing at once, and he felt boneless in her hold.
(y/n) was quick to snap her eyes open and pull herself away from him, shaky, fast hands racing to check his pulse as her worst nightmare played before her eyes.
But he wasn’t lifeless in her arms, and if anything, he was relaxed. His pulse was a steady beat against the pads of her fingers, and he even found enough strength to raise his hand to her cheek. She watched with wide, shocked eyes as he barely grazed his fingers across her jaw before he was passing out in her arms.
___
When he comes to, his eyes blink a few times to prepare himself for light, but to his surprise, he’s met with darkness. It still takes a few rough squeezes of his eyelids before Ino’s able to properly open his eyes all the way, and the darkness he was greeted with was properly laid before him as the night sky.
He was outside?
“What the-?” The mutter comes from under his breath, but before he could make sense of his surroundings, someone was scrambling to his side, his name falling from their recognizable, pretty voice like a mantra.
And (y/n’s) voice in that moment was heavenly to his ears. He wasn’t sure how long he was out, and his mind was foggy when he tried to recall when he’d seen her last, but he had a sinking feeling like it had been a long time, and all he knew now was that he felt pure relief when her face came into view beside him. Then shortly after, a small hand slipped into his own, squeezing firmly, but not too tight.
“(y/n),” His throat burns hot when he speaks, but he tries to ignore it as he gives her a weak smile. Everything aches, but he’d try his best to keep his pain hidden. “How long was I out?”
“About a day” She murmurs back, softer than he thinks he’s ever heard her speak. He thinks she’s hiding something, but he doesn’t press for it right away. He’d need to get his bearings first.
He tries to look around, hoping for something of significance to give him an idea of where he was, but all that surrounds them is a few plots of grass and some shoddy tents pitched up. There’s a fire burning a few feet behind where she kneels beside him, and his brows furrowed slightly. What the hell was going on?
“And where are we?”
Her free hand reaches for his face, and he holds his breath when the tips of her fingers gently push a piece of hair away from a line of stitches just above his previous scar. There’s a small frown on her face.
“Just outside Yamanashi,” She answers, then quickly adds, “At least I think. It’s hard to tell without a proper map”
Ino’s eyes widen so much they almost bulge out of his head, and (y/n’s) quick to react to his shock.
“Don’t freak out,” She murmurs, squeezing his hand gently as she leaned over closer to him. “You still need to rest, you have a lot of healing to-”
“(y/n),” He interrupts her, and surprisingly she lets him. She sits before him patiently waiting for the question she’d been dreading for an entire day. “What happened in Shibuya?”
She sits beside him for a long time as she explains the entire incident in grave detail. Not a single stone left unturned, Ino sits in silence for almost a full hour as she feeds it to him like it was her drafted report on the assignment.
She explains that after she fled Shibuya with his unconscious body, they quickly ran into Megumi Yuuji, and the new ally they’d made out of one of the Cursed Wombs’. Yuuji was quick to carry Ino on his back as they tried to cover as much ground as possible. With Shibuya becoming a modern-day wasteland, and Kenjaku’s next move unsure, their only goal was to move.
And that’s what brought them here, to the middle of nowhere where they could figure out what their next move was. With only a few survival supplies and limited rations of food and water, it hadn’t been an easy day and a half.
When she’s finished, she remains silent for as long as he needs. Processing it all- Nanami, Satoru, the first year Nobara, all of Shibuya- would surely take him some time. (y/n) gets up and pokes at the fire for a few minutes while Ino sits in shock as he repeats it all in his head. When she comes back over to him, he’s pushed himself to sit up on top of the nylon blanket against the grass.
“You should really lie down and-”
“I’m alright” He mumbles over her concern, and she simply sits beside him on the wrinkly plastic disguised as a blanket. She doesn’t push him about it again.
Not knowing what to say, she doesn’t say anything. Just sits beside him to keep him company while he processes it all. Truthfully, she’d had little time to really let it all settle in. With the running and worrying over the length of his unconscious state, there was little time left to think about the aftermath of the whole incident. She wondered how the others were taking it, if they’d stopped and let themselves think for longer than a minute. They’d all resigned to their makeshift tents for the night, and she didn’t have it in her to play caretaker and check on them at the moment. That was always the role Satoru took on. But tomorrow she’d sit down with them and check in.
“You found me,”
Ino speaks after a long silence, and (y/n) glances over at him for a brief moment, before returning to stare at the ground.
“After those curse users, after Toji,” He continues, piecing together the vague images in his memory to better understand what happened. “You found me after that”
He’s not asking, he’s talking through what he remembers, but (y/n) nods in confirmation.
“Nanami told me where you were,” She says softly. “I came as fast as I could, but… it wasn’t fast enough” The last part comes out under her breath, full of regret and guilt.
“Seems like you were just in time to me,” Ino says, turning to look at her. She refuses to meet his gaze, too ashamed by her delayed arrival. “For a minute there I didn’t think I’d see you again. Thought I was a goner. You’d be adding my name to the…” He trails off, not quite wanting to address the long list of lives lost in Shibuya.
And he notices she tenses up, one of her hands fisting a handful of grass, ripping a few strands straight from the dirt with her tight grip. Ino frowns, and shuffles over to sit closer to her. Until they’re nearly shoulder to shoulder. He groans as he pulls his legs up, resting his arms over his knees to get more comfortable. Everything feels stiff, but he tries to push past it.
“You figured out the Reverse Cursed Technique, hm?” He asks, trying to change the subject. He gives her a small smile at the accomplishment, but she’s still not looking at him. “That’s pretty huge. You’re surely a functioning Grade One sorcerer now”
That’s when she finally turns her head to meet his gaze, finding nothing but fondness in his eyes as he smiles at her. He’s proud of her, she realizes, and she can’t believe that now of all times he’s trying to comfort her. Takuma Ino was too good for this world. And he was certainly too good for her.
“I don’t care” She mumbles, shaking her head back and forth as her eyes flicker over the healing cuts and bruises on his face. The few stitches he needed looked a bit gnarly as they’d been done in a rush from shaky hands. A frown tugs on her lips the longer she takes in his injuries.
“You should,” He tells her. “You worked for a long time for it. And you’ve earned it,”
She’s quiet for a moment as she takes in the statement. The injuries she’d sustained had healed by now, but her chest still hurt somehow.
Slowly, more and more of his memory comes back to him. He can remember the way she’d sobbed, pained wails that came from so deep within her he could hear it now in his memory. They could’ve easily been mistaken as the screams of a woman tortured, the way she’d cried out his name. He thinks he can recall her crying the entire time she tended to him.
“I’m sorry I scared you” He tells her suddenly, and her eyes widen in the slightest at the apology.
“Scared me,” She repeats in a small mumble, lips barely moving. “That doesn’t even begin to explain what you put me through,”
He frowns with his guilt, and he wants to remind her that he’d told her to leave. Although if she had, he might not have woken up again.
“You…” She trails off as she thinks twice about what she’s going to say. “You have no idea what you put me through,” She admits in a smaller voice.
Her eyes flicker between his as she watches him process the confession, before she continues.
“I don’t know what I… I don’t know how I did it, honestly. I’m not sure I could do it again,” She explains. “I just remember feeling so… hurt doesn’t even begin to explain it. I was terrified, Ino. I thought you were…” She shakes her head, a lump forming in her throat at the mere suggestion of what could have happened to him. “I was so scared” She mumbles weakly, her brows drawing together.
Hesitantly, Ino lowered his hand until it rested over hers. She loosened her grip on the grass, relaxing just the slightest amount from his touch. Her heart was still racing as she recalled the way he’d barely been able to move, or how he’d tried to apologize for breaking his promise to her. It was like there was an invisible, but iron grip on her throat, squeezing all of the air out of her lungs as she looked at him now.
“You’re my hero now, you know,” He murmurs, tilting his head a bit as a tiny smile stretches over his lips. “You saved my life”
Her hand twitches under his, and it shakes as she releases the grass in order to turn it over, slotting her fingers between his. She squeezes, hard, making sure that he would be enough to anchor her to reality.
“You saved mine, too” She whispers back, the burn in her throat evident in the strain in her voice. Against her will, her eyes gloss over with tears.
He gives her a sad smile, and squeezes her hand back.
“Don’t cry,” He pleads quietly, his body angling towards her as he reaches his free hand out to her face, palm hovering just over her cheek as he wipes away her single tear with the rough pad of his thumb. “Please,” He added softly as her eyes bore into his like she was trying to penetrate his skull and read his thoughts. “Don’t think I can handle hearin’ you cry anymore” He admits.
(y/n) let’s out a watery and humorless little chuckle, another tear falling to her cheek that he’s just as quick to dry away. She leans into the hovering warmth of his hand, pressing her cheek against it with only the thought of being comforted by him on her mind. Ino’s quick to spread his fingers across her cheek and jaw, unconsciously pulling her closer as he did.
“You remember that?” She mumbles, and he nods back at her.
“Don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget it,” He tells her. “You scared me too, y’know”
Her brows furrow at him.
“I did?”
Ino nods.
“I didn’t like… being separated,” He admits slowly. “I know you were fine, hell, you were better off than I was, but… not knowing where you were or if you were safe was…” He clenches his draw, and (y/n) nods at him in understanding.
“I would’ve stayed,” She murmurs. “If you’d asked me to stay, I would’ve stayed”
Ino’s not sure if his heart was going to burst in his chest or sink to his gut. All he wants right now is to wrap her up in his arms as tight as he can and never let her out of his sight again.
“I know,” He whispers back, making her frown. “But I couldn’t do that. It wouldn’t have been right. Your team needed you,”
Another tear makes it’s way down her cheek, but it doesn’t get far before he’s brushing it away like the others.
“I didn’t want to do anything to stand in the way of your promotion,” He says, and she frowns back at him. “It wouldn’t have been fair-”
“That doesn’t matter to me, not right now- maybe not at all,” She cuts him off before he could explain himself, and he looks shocked. Rightfully so, since meeting her he’s known that becoming a Grade One was the only thing that mattered to her. His lips part and his brows furrow, but he doesn’t know what to say, so she explains herself first. “Ino, I really thought I was going to lose you,” She tells him with a tight squeeze of his hand. “That promotion has been the farthest thing from my mind. What would it have mattered?” She shakes her head as she watches him, sniffling just a little before speaking again. “It would have meant nothing, if you weren’t there with me, too,”
Ino softened then, his thumb stalling from it’s gentle tracing of her cheekbone as he took in the sincerity of her words.
A year ago, she might’ve told him to eat shit if he’d something of the same sort to her. Six months ago she would’ve laughed it off and deflected like it was some kind of joke. Right now, he thinks his heart was going to fall right out of his chest and into her awaiting hands.
(y/n) shuffles anxiously the longer he sits in silence.
“Ino, say something” She mumbles, hoping he wouldn’t make her beg for some sort of reaction.
He chuckles, his thumb moving over her cheekbone once, then twice, before giving into temptation and curling his fingers around the back of her neck to pull her in closer.
Her eyes are shut before his lips slot themselves over hers, but despite leaning into the kiss there’s a small squeak of surprise that dies in the back of her throat when their lips touch. She kisses him back with as much fervor as she can while still being mindful of his injuries. She only hopes that he can feel the outpour of emotions with every kiss, the soft sensation of each one leaving a tingle on her lips.
Her hands reach out to lay at the base of his neck, her touch nearly featherlight with how gentle she tries to treat him. Ino’s less careful, pulling her closer until she finally gives in to deepening their kiss, paying no mind to the dull ache in his jaw. It was easy to forget when her perfect soft lips fit against his like they were made to be kissed by him.
After pulling away for a breath of air, he places one more kiss on her lips, lingering for as long as he could before finally parting from her. It takes her a minute to open her eyes, still reeling from the sudden affection.
With her heart in the clouds and her mind in a lovesick haze, she was still lost in the heavy feelings that were the way she felt about him. Ino chuckles when his eyes open only to find her lost in a daze, sweetly cupping her face in both hands and keeping her as close to him as he could.
“Sorry,” He mumbles, lips ghosting over hers, sending a shiver down her spine. She finally looks up at him, catching her lip between her teeth to keep herself from grinning too hard. “I just wanted to do that for so long. Couldn’t wait anymore”
A breathless little laugh falls from her, her hands sliding around the nape of his neck so her fingers could mindlessly play with the soft locks of hair that fell there. Her cheeks were undeniably warm, and Ino could feel them when she pushed closer to brush her nose against his sweetly.
“Wanted you to do that, too” She murmurs back, and the smile Ino gives her is bittersweet.
He sighs softly as he pulls her in gently, just enough to rest his forehead against hers.
“I’m sorry,” He murmurs, the weight of the apology hanging thick in the air.
She doesn’t want to talk anymore about what’s happened, doesn’t really want to think about it either. Going through it had been rough enough already, processing it was going to be a bitch. She has to shut her eyes to hide the emotion, or at least, keep herself from crying again.
“I’m so sorry,” Ino repeats. “And I’m sorry I was out for so long”
“That’s nothing you should apologize over,” (y/n) chided through a breath. “I’m just relieved you’re alright, that’s all that matters to me right now, okay?”
He tilts his head away from hers, just enough to look back at her. He frowns when her eyes are squeezed shut, thumbing gently at the top of her cheekbones to pry her into looking at him again. It takes her a minute before opening teary eyes. Even with her packing up the last day and a half into a box and forcing it into the darkest corner of her mind, she couldn’t hide all of it from Ino. Not when he stared at her as if he could see straight through to the soul.
It’s a blurry memory, but he can vaguely recall the way she’d cried while holding him. Clearer than the image is the way her voice cracked and whined in his ear, I can’t lose you, you said I wouldn’t lose you. He’d held his promise this long, and Ino very much intends to stick to it.
He plants his lips at the crown of her head, and the comforting affection surprises her a bit, but she just as quickly falls into him. Her arms loop around his neck and her fingers dig into his shoulders, anchoring herself to him as if he alone would keep her in this moment, and away from that dark corner.
“Still,” He insists quietly. “I should’ve been there for you,”
(y/n’s) not sure she’s ever felt love swell in her chest the way she does now. It washes over her in a heavy wave, filling her with relief, and warmth, but most importantly hope. For the first time, she doesn’t fear it, or discard it as a pointless venture.
Things were different now, she decided, her eyes moving between his and the injuries still littered across his face. They would heal just fine, but they were still a gnarly sight to look at now. It made the warm relief in her chest begin to burn. So things were different now because they had to be. Things were different now because she had something she was going to fight for.
Love wasn’t pointless. Love was what was going to push her through whatever horror was next in line.
“Cause we’re partners” Ino finished, his brows twitching ever so slightly as he watched something unknown flash in her eyes. They light up for a moment, before she’s nodding back at him, staring at him with the utmost sincerity.
A small “yeah,” is whispered between shaky nods, and her grip on his shoulders tightens just enough for Ino to notice. His lips tilt upwards.
She’s still quiet when she speaks, but it’s not due to the lump in her throat. It’s from true, genuine love pouring out of her so openly that her voice is practically snatched from her. She squeezes his shoulders once more.
“Partners”
___
a/n: well that was my 23k word ino fic that i had to split up bc it was too damn big. laugh it up how in love with him after thirty seconds of screentime
#takuma ino#takuma ino x reader#takuma ino imagine#takuma ino fanfiction#ino x reader#ino imagine#jjk x reader#jjk imagine#jjk fanfiction#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen imagine#jujutsu kaisen fanfiction
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Experimental mRNA vaccines are set to replace all of our medicines, according to Bill Gates, Pfizer and Moderna, who are warning that humanity will be forced to take hundreds of mRNA jabs every year if we wish to continue participating in society.
If that is the price, then count me out. Because with every passing day we are finding out more about the disastrous effects of the untested mRNA vaccines.
There have been legions of people who have died suddenly or suffered devastating health consequences, including young and healthy people, and an unprecedented number of professional athletes.
While mainstream media continues to pretend to be baffled, there is now a tidal wave of information about the disastrous effects of mRNA, including studies in the world’s most prestigious medical journals.
This information is now crashing through the artificial barriers constructed by the global elite’s gatekeepers in the media and Big Tech and the results, frankly, are glorious to behold. More people every day are waking up to the crimes of the globalist elite and demanding justice.
Want to see what this looks like in practice? We’ve got the footage proving that the people are waking up and mainstream media is being forced to admit the so-called conspiracy theorists were right all along.
Before we dive in, subscribe to the channel if you haven’t already, and join the People’s Voice Locals community to get access to uncensored videos and to join us in our mission to awaken the masses.
Last week on Dutch TV there was a broadcast on the public channel featuring experts who openly called for the immediate suspension of genetic mRNA vaccines. Why? Hold on to your hats, folks. It turns out that groundbreaking scientific reports in the world’s most prestigious journals have finally proven what so-called conspiracy theorists have known all along.
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Hey folks, we'd like your opinions on the idea of Phic Phight being it's own server, instead of being part of the DP Fanfic server. We also have a google form so you guys can expand on your answer if you'd like, but also give us any general suggestions, comments or feedback related to the upcoming Phic Phight.
Under the readmore is just some detailed explanations as to why some of the changes.
What would happen if we made a Phic Phight server?
Phic Phight section of the DP fanfic server will be archived from general view. NOT DELETED. Archived. Six months will be given for people to collect what they want before it gets archived. However, you'd still be able to request temporary access at any time to look/get what you want/need.
Joining the discord will become mandatory for Phic Phight participants. You do not have to stay after Phic Phight, and you can be as active/inactive as you wish.
Better event organization information, since users will be pinged when prompts drop and any other important information. Everybody will get it at the same time.
Since it'd be it's own server, we'd be more willing to expand on and add specific features, channels and bots for Phic Phight events.
What if Phic Phight stayed within the DP Fanfic server?
Phic Phight participants will start taking on full responsibility for checking the Phic Phight tumblr in late March/early April for prompts. Mods will no longer be directly messaging them to people.
Related to the above, but no more extensions based on people not getting their prompts. Extensions will still be offered in situations such as mods releasing prompts late or other situations out of user/mod control that effects Phic Phight.
Not having to join yet another goddamn Danny Phantom discord server.
We will continue making updates and changes in-server as needed.
Google Form, if you'd like to expand on anything or just give general feedback
Why would discord membership be mandatory if we made our own server?
It makes it easier for the mods to coordinate everything and for users to communicate. We can more directly answer questions, clarify confusion, give everybody updates at the exact same time, dedicate our announcement spaces to only phic phight, etc. Users can better connect with their team as well and encourage each other.
A big part of Phic Phight is community, especially since more recent additions have made it a good idea to work with your team to help make sure all prompts are filled. Since we're currently attached to the fanfic server, it felt unfair to require membership, but as our own server, we would operate a bit more similarly to Invisobang. Specifically where we're encouraging more collaboration. We're writing phics for each other as well as for our own personal reasons.
What kind of changes would a Phic Phight server bring?
We'd be more willing to expand and add Phic Phight specific features as users and mods seem fit. Current ideas include:
More writing bots
More phic-phight specific channels to collaborate
Random number generators, so you can roll for a prompt or make decisions based on a randomized number
Hosting phic phight focused events, such as regular sprint nights
This is just the current thoughts, but we're open to more ideas within the google form!
This server would also, in general, make it a lot easier to get information strictly for Phic Phight.
Why are mods no longer going to be sending out prompts list? How will I get my prompts? Why no more extensions?
Phic Phight prompts and teams are always consistently released 2-3 days before April 1st, and Phic Phight always lasts the entire month of April. Meaning, you can expect prompts around March 31st at the LATEST. In recent years, they are always released both in the Fanfic server as well as our official tumblr. In the past, due to tumblr constantly changing how messaging works, general confusion and the amount of participants, it's become too difficult for mods to personally make sure everybody has their prompts list.
It wasn't too bad when we had 30 participants, but now we're often getting 100+ people. That's a lot of people to individually check got prompts. It's just becoming harder and harder to make sure everybody got their list, but since we consistently release them around the same time, we decided that regardless of whether we make a new server or not, it's now going to be YOUR responsibility to check for prompts around March 31st.
Having a server means that we'd just be @ everybody-ing when they drop, versus not having a server, where they will still be posted and pinged role, as well as tumblr. Regardless of whether we make a server or not, we will still post the prompts list to tumblr and have it pinned for easy viewing.
Related, we have extended deadlines if a lot of people did not get their prompts, due to the above mentioned tumblr problem. This change would mean that we basically will not be doing event-wide extensions anymore based on tumblr users getting prompts late, which had been a semi-common past problem. We will still offer extensions in events such as mods releasing prompts late or similar situations
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Abolition For Beginners (2023 Edition)
In honor of Tyre Nichols and all others we have lost to policing and imprisonment. In honor of Black History Month. In honor of Better Future Program's mission to educate and serve marginalized youth globally... Let's break down abolition, again. (As usual on Tumblr, tap for better quality.)
Better Future Program's Linktr.ee | Donate | Liberation Library | Open Leadership Positions | Staff Application | Discord Server
Image description below. Written by @reaux07. Proofread by the volunteers and supporters of @bfpnola.
Image Description:
[ID: All of the following slides use a wrinkled, black fabric as their background with black text (bolded red added for emphasis) on top of white boxes with rounded corners. “@bfpnola” is written in the top right corner and the sources for the slide are in the bottom left corner.
Title Slide (No. 1):
Written in red text, “UPDATED FROM 2021 EDITION.” The outlines of the word “ABOLITION” is written line by line 8 times in light grey with the year “2023” written on top in bold, white lettering. Below, written in red within a white bubble and red arrow, it reads “FOR BEGINNERS*.” Across from the bubble, “@BFPNOLA” is in red. Below, in red again, the asterisk mentioned before leads to the following note: “This post is heavily text-based so if you do not learn best by reading, feel free to utilize our Abolition Study Guide in our bio under "Social Justice Resources" instead!” Lastly, white stars and outlines of grey circles can be seen in each corner of the slide.
Slide No. 2 reads:
Abolition is an anti-capitalist, intersectional framework that aims to not only destroy the cages created by various “industrial complexes,” but to create inclusive, effective alternatives for addressing harm. As defined by Dr. Jennie Wang-Hall, an “industrial complex (IC) is a system that creates profit through embedding into social inequities and providing an ineffective product that keeps consumers under-resourced and returning for more.”
The most common examples of such systems? Prison and policing, psychiatry, foster care/family policing, the military, and even the Family (as an institution, not kinship altogether).
Despite common misconceptions, abolition is not just a negation of what currently exists, but an active evolution of what community-based support can and has looked like. Abolition is about the radical working-class imagination, about Black and Indigenous imagination.
If individualistic, reactive, punishment-based strategies are maintained, true accountability and rehabilitation will never exist. Instead, we can choose to be proactive, analyze the circumstances that perpetuate violence, and address harm at the root! Of course, no one is saying that harm will completely cease to exist, but to paraphrase butch anarchist Lee Shevek, wouldn’t it be a profound improvement to expand our capacity to respond to harm and challenge our abusers, rather than being restricted to system-granted authority? Especially when such systems deliberately ignore the suffering of marginalized communities (e.g. people of color, queer and trans folks, women and femmes, Mad and disabled folks, and so on) to begin with?
Sources: @Dr.JennieWH, @ButchAnarchy, Stella Akua Mensah, Erin Miles Cloud, @WokeScientist
Slide No. 3 reads:
Before we continue any further, let’s destroy the myth that cops actually stop violence. First off, we can’t depend on crime stats at face value because this begs the question of who exactly gets to define what counts as a “crime” and why (e.g. drug possession and sleeping in public vs. tax evasion of the wealthy and wage theft). Continuing, crime rates often only reflect violations that have actually been reported, chosen to be shown, and deemed out of line. By this logic, crime rates are simply reflections of cops’ perceptions, not of the material and emotional realities of the proletariat (i.e. the working-class).
As for perpetuating violence, “US law enforcement killed at least 1,183 people in 2022, making it the deadliest year on record for police violence.” (And those are just the deaths that were reported. In our home state of Louisiana, turns out the Jefferson Parish Sheriff’s Office, as of January 12, 2023, has been unlawfully destroying records of officer misconduct for at least 10 years.) Many (69%) of these murders were cases in which no offense was alleged, were mental health or welfare checks, or involved traffic violations and other nonviolent offenses.
This is, of course, without even touching on the involuntary servitude (i.e. enslavement) and maltreatment ongoing in American prisons. How many more deaths must occur before the general public says enough is enough? Or is this acceptable since these are working-class, disabled, Mad, non-white, queer, and trans lives being lost?
Sources: @InterruptCrim, The Guardian, Mapping Police Violence, @VeriteNewsNola
Slide No. 4 reads:
So we agree police are harmful. Why abolition instead of reform? Historically, reforms have either provided further funding to the prison, foster care, and psychiatric industrial complexes and/or just reinforced harmful ideologies surrounding policing as a whole. And trust us, these systems already have more than enough money. In the fiscal year of 2021, at least $277,153,670,501 were spent on federal law enforcement and prisons as well as on police and prisons by state and local governments. Can you even conceptualize a number that large? We could end all American medical debt with that much money. We could even provide clean water and waste disposal to everyone on Earth!
Continuing, reforms like body cameras are pitched as making officers more accountable, that if “done right” policing will actually keep people safe, and that those who do not use excessive force are suddenly no longer guilty of perpetuating centuries worth of systemic oppression. In reality, body cameras require further funding and increase surveillance!
Similarly, civilian oversight boards and the push to “jail killer cops” reinforce the belief that cases of murder, assault, falsifying information, and so on are exceptional occurrences rather than intrinsic to the very nature of policing itself. This is where the phrase “All Cops Are Bastards” comes into play, stating that while the individual character of some officers may be morally permissible, all cops are part of a “bastardized,” or corrupt, system.
Sources: Security Policy Reform Institute, Matt Korostoff, @CriticalResistance
Slide No. 5 reads:
Even laws don’t prevent police violence, e.g. the murder of Eric Garner despite the NYPD passing a policy against chokeholds, or the murder of Daunte Wright despite the passing of the George Floyd Law Enforcement Trust and Integrity Act and a separate Justice in Policing Act of 2020.
Alternatively, we can advocate against the expansion of policing “responsibilities,” i.e. not allowing officers to address Mad individuals in vulnerable states, the housing crisis, or people who use drugs (PWUD). We can reroute funding into non-coercive, peer-led initiatives for harm reduction, de-escalation, first aid, and self-defense. And maybe most importantly, we can reaffirm that EXTENSIVE power can, in fact, be found amongst everyday folks like you and me!
Abolition is not a one-and-done sort of deal but rather a progression of steps toward an infinite future of improvements. The act of building parallel infrastructures and modes of governance while the previous ones still exist is known as dual power. Abolition must begin as dual power. We can start today!
And in building such, these steps cannot: legitimize or expand oppressive systems we aim to dismantle, create divisions between “deserving” and “underserving” people, preserve existing power relations, or utilize exclusionary, one-size-fits-all, standardized treatments.
Sources: @ProjectLets, @HarmReductionCoalition, CrimethInc., Survived & Punished NY
Slide No. 6 reads:
One of the main questions brought up, though, is what abolitionists plan to do in the case of homicide, rape, domestic violence, and other harms. While this is entirely valid, this question seems to imply that 1) police are already effectively responding to such harms rather than perpetuating and/or ignoring them and 2) that there is one collective abolitionist response.
For one, the majority of sexual assault, for example, goes unreported and less than 0.5% of perpetrators are incarcerated. (And this assumes that through the reporting process and incarceration, survivors will somehow find healing, perpetrators will find understanding, and that sexual assault does not continue within prisons.) Meanwhile, let’s use our hometown as one example of many, a complaint of sexual violence is filed against a New Orleans Police Department officer every 10 days and nearly 1 in 5 NOPD officers have been reported for sexual and/or intimate partner violence.
And secondly, we have a plethora of organizations like Critical Resistance and cultures like that of the Diné (Navajo) to learn from and build upon. We don’t have to be stuck within this false dilemma fallacy, that there is only policing or total chaos. Don’t you see that that is the state’s way of constricting communal power?
Sources: @RAINN, @CopWatchNola, @WokeScientist
Slide No. 7 reads:
To expand this conversation, abolition heavily aligns with the political ideal of “anarchism.” Anarchism supports the absence of government and absolute freedom of the individual. And despite its negative connotations, anarchy also reflects an evolution of community-based care rather than just a deconstruction of what currently exists.
A simplified version of its 6 agreed-upon principles are:
Autonomy and Horizontality: define yourself on your own terms, we stand on an equal footing
Mutual Aid: bonds of solidarity form a stronger social glue than fear, support your community
Voluntary Association: associate or don't associate with whomever you wish
Direct Action: accomplish goals directly rather than depending on representatives or authorities
Revolution: overthrow those in power who enforce coercive hierarchies (ex. white supremacy)
Self-Liberation: you must be at the forefront of your own liberation, freedom must be taken
While being an abolitionist does not require alignment with anarchism, it is worth considering how the state plays such an enduring role in various social harms. Concurrently, whenever you treat other living beings with consideration and respect, come to reasonable compromise rather than coercion, and decide to share or delegate tasks, you are already living by anarchist principles.
Sources: Peter Gelderloos, David Graeber
Slide No. 8 reads:
So, how can you get involved? How do we continue the efforts already being made by activists worldwide? After such an overload of information and even more to learn, we understand how political frameworks like abolition can seem daunting, but they don't have to be! Here are some general next steps:
Read the "8toAbolition" steps.
Look into "podmapping" so you know whom to run to when you have been harmed or perpetuate harm.
See if there are any pre-existing mutual aid networks in your community, and if not, start one with your neighbors or peers!
Begin to research issues affecting communities other than your own. Abolition is intrinsically tied to all of us as we are all surveilled. For example, do you understand how prison and policing further ableism, transphobia, or the sex trade? What about policing internationally (see our allies in: the Kingdom of Hawai'i, Palestine, Artsakh, Kashmir...)?
Research the differences between capitalism, socialism, and communism. Abolition and anti-capitalism are foundational to one another as well.
Look into the other industrial complexes we named in the beginning (psychiatry, foster care, the military, the Family...).
Volunteer (remotely or in-person) with organizations like Better Future Program (@bfpnola) to both educate yourself and directly serve your community!
And if you're looking for further reading/listening, BFP offers over 3,000 FREE social justice, mental health, and academic resources in our Linktr.ee, including study guides for beginners. While we can't promise that the struggle for liberation will always be easy, BFP will always do its best to support you in whatever way we know how.
End ID.]
#reaux speaks#signal boost#tyre nichols#keenan anderson#cop city#abolition#abolish the police#defund the police#anti capitalism#intersectional feminism#palestine#black lives matter#blm#bipoc#disability justice#queer#trans#mass incarceration#study guide#mad liberation#psychiatry#family#military industrial complex#foster care#ACAB#tw rape mention#indigenous#anarchism#pinned post#BLACK HISTORY MONTH
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Why did you guys choose the charity that you did? Of all the causes out there, what stood out to you about Maternal Mortality in Sierra Leone?
There is a lot of injustice in the world. There is injustice in every direction! It is easy to find yourself frozen in the face of the a dizzying array of injustices.
But for me, there is no expression of structural injustice as profound as mortality caused by poverty.
Like, the 1.5 MILLION people who will die this year of tuberculosis will not REALLY die of infection by the bacterium m. tuberculosis. Whether you get tuberculosis is not REALLY determined by whether you are exposed to the bacterium that "causes" TB. Whether you get sick and die of tuberculosis is determined by whether you are impoverished, whether you live in a community with a fragile healthcare system, and whether you can access healthcare. This is why most people in rich countries don't even know that TB is the second-leading cause of infectious disease death on Earth--behind only Covid.
Maternal mortality is another glaring expression of this injustice: 700 people in Sierra Leone will die giving birth for every one who dies in Germany. This is not the result of some natural or inevitable process. It is the direct result of human-built systems that have impoverished the Sierra Leonean government and people for centuries.
When we began this project in 2019, one in seventeen Sierra Leonean women died in childbirth. ONE IN SEVENTEEN. There is nothing inevitable about the statistic. (Indeed, it is now closer to 1 in 25--which is still hundreds of times higher than it needs to be.)
There is nothing inevitable about this injustice! It was caused by human-built systems and can be addressed by human-built systems. And the great thing about fighting maternal mortality is that it has all kinds of virtuous side effects--the blood bank at Koidu Government Hospital will serve those who are dying from blood loss after child birth, but it will also serve the entire community. Clean water and electricity at community health centers make for safer conditions in which to give birth, but also safer conditions in which to be treated for other healthcare issues. And of course we know that when parents survive childbirth, kids are more likely to be educated, and less likely to be malnourished.
Sierra Leone in particular has a government that, while deeply impoverished and chronically underfunded, is working to build a stronger healthcare system, and Partners in Health has deep relations with the government so that it's not working parallel to the public healthcare system but deeply embedded within it. And because SL is the epicenter of the global maternal mortality crisis, by making change there, we show the global health community that NOWHERE ON EARTH should the lifetime risk of maternal death be above 1%, let alone 5 or 7 percent.
So those are some of the reasons why we are focused with PIH on maternal mortality in Sierra Leone, and why Hank and I have committed the majority of our wealth to addressing the injustice of inequitable access to healthcare. If you want to join the thousands of folks who've joined us by donating monthly to support this cause, or learn more, here's the place.
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So the thing is, if people ship characters who are explicitly not into romance (whether aromantic or otherwise), that ultimately doesn't affect me on a level beyond "annoyance" — I can blacklist tags, and blacklist or block people who don't tag it. What I have to ask myself every time I see these things, however, is this:
"Does this reflect how this person feels about romance-averse people in real life? Does this reflect how this person treats romance-averse people in real life?"
Because how someone engages with fiction doesn't have to be a reflection of how they treat real people, obviously — and in this case, I would of course hope that it isn't. But if you know anything about what being aromantic is like, in real life or on the Internet... you'll understand why I'm not optimistic.
Thinking two characters are so cute together that you reject a bunch of their characterization to make it happen is just annoying, not a crime! But the second you make the leap to telling a real human person things like:
"I don't care how much you say you're not interested, because you just won't realize that you and X would make such a cute couple,"
or:
"I don't care how much you say you're not interested, because you're clearly just in denial which the Right Person has to come along and fix,"
or:
"But — but — but not falling in love is just so tragic! I want you to be happy, not sad and lonely your whole life!"
like the rationales that apparently motivate so many people to ship? Then that has crossed the line into harming real people.
I don't actually think that shipping aromantic characters is the primary cause in the cause-effect diagram, when it comes to the correlating the shipping with "likelihood to say these terrible, invalidating, autonomy-undermining things to real people." Precisely, I don't think it's a cause to a meaningful degree when you compare with the opposite direction — I think people who say these things to real aromantics (or anyone else who just isn't interested!), because of what they think about these real people, are in turn more likely to think amatonormative things about fictional characters. I think that there exists a feedback loop to some extent, because fiction can influence people's beliefs to some degree, but it's not symmetric. Real-life amatonormativity causes mass amatonormativity in fandom spaces.
So... at this point, do you see why aromantic people in fandom get a little defensive about aro characters, and about other characters who overlap with aro experiences? You see why we get kind of pissy when people very selectively throw a very specific part of their characterization out the window? You see why we maybe don't want to associate with those people? Why it makes us so uncomfortable?
"Stop shipping romance-repulsed characters," in my opinion, is a understandable outcry from the community that I obviously sympathize with — but it nevertheless conceals the core of the issue, especially from non-aromantics who aren't living with amatonormativity shoved down their throats at all times, and therefore might not be able to read between the lines. At the core, this isn't actually a debate about the morality of shipping in fiction, despite overlap with that discourse on the surface.
The real cry for change isn't "stop shipping that character." It's "start accepting me for who I am, without trying to either undermine or mourn it at every opportunity." Because at the moment, the overlap between people who erase fictional aromanticism and real aromanticism is significant — and even where they don't overlap, you know what? Romance-averse folks just trying to live in peace can't fucking tell the difference.
#amatonormativity#no one asked for my thoughts on this but i have thoughts that i've never seen spelled out explicitly by anyone else. sorry#i'll get back on the aro positivity posting grind by the time the clock ticks over into pride month in my timezone i promise
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Something about the way that Big Business likes to operate in this country rubs me the wrong way. They stride into little, upstanding communities and push them around to get a slightly better deal on extracting our precious, non-renewable natural resources. Only pollution and human misery is left behind. For a brief, shining moment, I was the solution to this corruption. And then I kind of let things go to my head.
Running for office is easier than you'd think. All you need to do is get signatures of a hundred people. An afternoon at the mall, asking folks to save the endangered Pacific African Grey Rhino, will just about do you. Of course, there's also the filing fee, but I managed to distract the lady working the counter at City Hall and transfer the cheque from another mayoral application to mine when she wasn't looking.
Quite why I fell out of favour with The Mayor is between him and I. We go way back, and it would not reflect well on my upbringing to reveal our private feud in public. Not like it stopped him, though, as he blabbed to every talk-radio host, morning-news talking head, and local newspaper about how awful I was. They just laughed, thinking that nobody could be that bad, and surely it was some kind of desperate lie, another sign that he had lost touch with the common man. Such embellishment did get my name in the public ear, and I won in a landslide after promising to double speed limits (that's all it takes.)
From day one, I went about kicking all the huge-capitalism greedheads out of my city, mostly because I got tired of them driving their Porsches slowly on my newly speed-unlimited corners. Big lawsuits were launched, rich folks ejected into the nearest river. I was on the news every day in my stained coveralls and greasy sweater, adding further credibility to my regular-dude motif. If you were some kind of crank weirdo who liked to tell other people at the bar what the government should do, then I was your representative. And crank it I did. Wait, that came out wrong.
After about a week of this, I think the big business monsters got together. They went to their little gangster restaurant and they decided the best way to get rid of me would be to catch me up in a bribery scandal. Didn't work: I took the bribe and bragged about it to the news. That bribe? 2005 Dodge Neon, with an un-torn drivers' seat and only about 180,000 km on the odometer. Mint. They did their homework. The problem was that I now had a fancy new car, which I had effectively stolen from rich people, but I didn't want to look rich, so I didn't drive it to work.
The problem is that I slowly became paranoid. As with my forebear, I lost touch with the common man. I began to fear that they were going to steal my Neon – my retirement fund – while I was at City Hall, doing stupid mayor stuff. Soon, I lost focus on my work, and I slipped in the polls. There was only one thing left to do: stop coming to work for a few weeks and don't answer the phone. Works every time!
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From Alison Bechdel's "Dykes to Watch Out For". Strip name "Au Courant", from 1994
I'd never seen this strip get posted, so I want others to see it. Mo, the character expressing 'concern' over the inclusion of trans women (as well as bisexuals) in lesbian culture, is often portrayed as being overly self-righteous, jumping to conclusions about others, and not critically examining her own biases and worldview. She was also the character in the comic commissioned for Transgender Warriors, where she learns she was wrong for being anxious about sharing a bathroom with a trans woman.
Mo is often either the butt of the joke, or receives a stark lesson in these interactions (whether by confrontation or just becoming socially isolated, because she's difficult to be around). And I found this framing important, especially as I've heard discussion of TERFs trying to claim Bechdel as one of them.
This comic was not made to validate Mo's opinions or feelings. The characters in Bechdel's comics are often messy, short-sighted, even bigoted. They're human. This comic does not valorize or 'condone' these flaws, merely shows them for what they are, as well as the consequences that come with them, and the effects they can have on your communities.
[Update Note: Recently learned some new things about Bechdel's feelings/choices regarding trans issues (particularly transmisogyny), link here if you're interested in reading. It seems that beyond DTWOF, Bechdel 'supports' trans people in an esoteric sort of way, but is seemingly unwilling to unpack deeper transphobic feelings/views, or her ties with TERF-aligned people. Deeply disappointing.
I don't think that impacts DTWOF itself much (except the framing of the character Janis, may make a post about that someday), as again all of the characters in DTWOF have wildly varying views, and that's The Point, but, it's something I think people ought to know if we're going to have a discussion about Bechdel in connection to TERFs and transmisogyny]
Transcript of the comic below the cut:
[ID: A "Dykes to Watch Out For" comic strip by Alison Bechdel, featuring the characters Mo and Lois. The conversation is as follows:
MO: Oh, jeez. Here's a submission for "Madwimmin Read" from someone named Jillian who identifies as a transsexual lesbian.
LOIS: Cool.
MO: The cover letter says, "I hope you'll consider changing the name of your reading series for local lesbian writers to be inclusive of transgender and bisexual women writers too." Oh, man!
LOIS: Guess it's time to get with the program, huh?
MO: What am I supposed to do? Have bi women and drag queens come in here and read about schtupping their boyfriends?
LOIS: Why not? I'm sure they'd have a unique perspective on the topic.
MO: Lois, I'm still trying to adjust to lesbians using dildos! What am I supposed to make of a man who became a woman who's attracted to women?!
LOIS: Love is a many gendered thing, pal. Get used to it.
MO: Well fine. Let people do what they want. But I'm not gonna add this unwieldy "bisexual and transgender" business to the name of my reading series. I don't even know what transgender means!
LOIS: It's sort of an evolving concept. I mean, we haven't had any language for people you can't neatly peg as either boy or girl.
LOIS: Like cross-dressers, transsexuals, people who live as the opposite sex but don't have surgery, drag queens and kings, and all kinds of other transgressive folks. "Transgender" is a way to unite everyone into a group, even though all these people might not self-identify as transgender.
LOIS: In fact, the point is that we're all just ourselves, and not categories. Instead of two rigid genders, there's an infinite sexual continuum! Cool, huh?
MO: How do you know all this stuff?
END ID]
#alison bechdel#dykes to watch out for#dtwof#transgender#lgbt history#thought it was important to share this. ive been reading a lot of dtwof#theres another strip im thinking of sharing about Mo being called out on her ableism#just not sure how to word my thoughts or if i should just post it or something#(update has been adding with new info for the bechdel-transmisogyny discussion)
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do you have any recommendations for games with interesting superpower mechanics? bonus points for a clear love of superhero comics as a genre
THEME: Superpowers
Oh gosh do I have some recommendations for you. I have likely spoken about pretty much all of these games before, but I feel very strongly about them and I can’t help myself from talking about them again!
Exceptionals, by Bramble Wolf Games.
Exceptionals is a game inspired by X-Men about and for the spaces and communities marginalized peoples make for themselves. Play as a Geno, one of little less than 0.5% percent of the population that has gone through a mysterious process called Claremont-Simonson mutation, as you try to navigate a world that won’t make room for you. Exceptionals is a game about what the mutant metaphor means to you and the different lenses through which we view it. Punch back and build something of worth together in this narrative tag-driven tabletop role playing game.
What Exceptionals does differently than the other games mentioned here is that it ties all of your character abilities to descriptive words or phrases. You’re not just heavily armoured, you have bone spikes and you’re exceptionally good at resisting extreme temperatures. Your powers can just as easily be things that slow you down and get in your way as they can be handy weapons or powerful resources. Not only that, but your character is also defined by their role in the community. Are you excellent at socializing and often called on to provide a distraction? Or are you good at noticing details, and therefore asked to investigate local mysteries? Each answer gives you a tag you can use to improve your chances of success.
If you have some experience with Fate, you might find Exceptionals to feel pretty familiar, with the biggest difference being in the dice used. The system itself uses 2d10, with modifiers applied through tags, the environment around you, and social bonds. Your bonds are crucial to improving your chances, and that is why Exceptionals champions community. If you want a game that cares deeply about the media it’s drawing from, then I recommend Exceptionals.
Spectaculars, by Scratchpad Publishing.
Spectaculars is a tabletop roleplaying game where players create their own comic book universe, craft heroes and villains to populate that universe, and then play through full-length campaigns to tell incredible stories of heroism and villainy in a world of their own creation.
Spectaculars has different decks of superpowers depending on the kind of genre you’d like to play in, but you can also mix and match if you’d like. Your superpower options are dealt to you randomly, with five basic superpowers always available if you don’t like the options you’ve been given. You get five unique cards, out of which you can choose up to three. I really like this because it prevents analysis paralysis, while still giving you a good number of unique options!
Your superpower ability is usually tied to a percentile - 80 being your best power, 70 being the second best, and 60 being the tertiary (should you choose to take all three). Rolling under that number means you succeed, and you can also roll advantage or disadvantage dice to determine extra details - like whether your move sets up another superhero really well. Each superpower could have up to two different effects, using situational limitations or time tokens to debuff anything that is extraordinarily powerful.
So for example, the Corrosion power gives you the ability to reroll any advantage dice you roll once, as long as you are trying to corrode non-living matter. However for Light Manipulation, you can make whatever light effect you evoke last for longer if you put two time tokens on your card, and you can allow yourself to use your power and do something else at the end of the round by adding four time tokens to the card. At the beginning of your turn every round, you get to remove a time token. This is a great game for folks who love tactile play, as the tokens, dice and power cards give you a lot to handle.
If you want a more in-depth review of Spectaculars, you can check out this summary by Deeper in the Game.
MASKS, by Brendan Conway, at Magpie Games.
Halcyon City has had more than its fair share of superheroes, superteams, supervillains, and everything in between.
Your team of young supers must forge your own path amidst the pressures of a world full of people telling you what to do and who to be, and kick some butt along the way!
Masks: A New Generation is a superhero tabletop roleplaying game full of action, youthful angst, and dazzling bravery. Take on the roles of members of the latest generation of superheroes, young adults trying to figure out who they are and what kind of heroes they want to be.
I am remiss if I don’t talk about MASKS, the first game I would turn to if I wanted to replicate Young Justice, Teen Titans, or anything from the Spiderverse series. This game is often cited as one of the definitive examples of what a Powered by the Apocalypse game can do, and for good reason. The superhero powers are present as picklists tied to each playbook, while what separates the playbooks is the inherent struggle of the character. Are they trying to hide their mundane identity? Are they struggling with feeling like a freak? Do they have a legacy to live up to?
I think these thematic elements show a deep love for the superhero genre, and I also love that the chances of success aren’t tied to what your abilities are, but rather your reasons for using them. If you are trying to protect someone, you’re rolling Savior, but if you’re trying to do damage, you roll Danger. In either situation you could be using your powers, but it’s intent that matters - and then you describe how you want to do it in order to give us an idea of what success or failure would look like.
FASERIP, by Gurbintroll Games.
FASERIP is a neo-clone game of super heroes, based on a classic 1980s role-playing game. The game contains a flexible yet streamlined super power system, and a completely new character generation system which keeps the fun and unpredictability of the original game’s random character generation but tempers it with an emphasis on balance and player choice.
This is a retro-clone from another superhero game that has since gone out of print - I think perhaps Marvel Super Heroes? Unfortunately I’m not familiar with the source material, but I can tell you that this version is free!
FASERIP is pretty granular in your ability level, ranking characters and difficulty levels from Zero to Infinite. Your superpowers in this game have a few important factors - source (how you got the power), rank (how effective it is), and boosts (how flexible your abilities are. Powers are determined randomly in FASERIP, with roll tables used to determine what kinds of powers you get and how many boosts you get. If you’re a fan of older rules systems and random power generation, I recommend checking out FASERIP.
Those of Us Who Know Better, by C.J. Linton.
Those of Us Who Know Better is a tabletop roleplaying game about transgender superheroes whose powers come at a price. Civilians by day, in community every other Thursday evening, and heroes by night, the players use their powers to problem solve and offer protection and support around town. These powers must be used sparingly, however, because every use of a superpower demands a specific and costly remuneration.
For some reason or other, your characters are under a contract that gives them powers. How that contract came to be and how it functions is up to you, but the result is this: every time you activate your superpower, you must pay a price. If you do not pay this price, your character is immediately subjected to intense physical pain.
The book has a short list of some common superpowers, such as flight, fire manipulation, and super senses. It also has a short list of consequences - with options such as get an animal to bite you, run for five minutes, and take a shot of alcohol. The book has some basic guidelines for what to consider when creating your own powers and prices, so I think the world is your oyster with a game like this.
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I kind of wished that the persona 4 cast wasn’t stuck in a narrative where the main theme is ‘always accept the role thrust upon you and if you don’t like it, just force yourself to like it’. Yukiko actively wants to leave Inaba and create her own life, but is portrayed negatively when doing so, with her character arc involving her accepting the role thrust upon her. Don’t get me started on Naoto. I know you’re the Yosuke guy, and was wondering what are your thoughts on this when applied to Yosuke?
I want you to know that being called "the Yosuke guy" is now my greatest achievement you've made my day everyday for the last week
I do agree with you, and I think it was one of my initial issues with P4 where, for a game whose entire narrative is about being true to yourself, it sure falls back into that tired sense of social conformation a lot. It's grating, right, because it feels like what they really mean to say is "be yourself! but not too much and not in a way that makes other people unhappy and make sure you're still living up to other peoples expectations because that's the real reason why you're unhappy with yourself, you haven't accepted who we want you to be (which is the real you that we've decided) etcetc" and it just undercuts the emotional impact of their self-acceptance (see also kanji and rise). (dw I know P5 also kind of has the same problem, and I can go into a whole thing about the limits of transformative narratives written by capitalist corporations but i wont. today-)
I think with Yosuke though, it's really interesting because his character arc is more so tied to his relationship with Inaba as a place, rather than his fundamental self-perceptions. It's established early on that Yosuke hated the town for various reasons; he's a city boy who wants excitement and connection, but most of the town hates him so he's shit out of luck and it gives him little reason to like the town back. As the game progresses, he starts to like the town -- "it's not about where you are, but who you're with", so it's his friendships (and having people who accept him for who he is) that makes the place meaningful for him. And, at the end of the day, Yosuke did get what he wanted - excitement and connection.
But he's not tied to Inaba.
In P4AU, it's revealed that Yosuke's struggling to figure out what he wants to do in life, but by the end of it he tells Yu that he wants to leave the town and go to college with Yu in the city, and that he wants to see the world and experience more things for himself. It fascinates me because it very strongly implies that Yosuke's arc isn't complete as we're very expressly told that he's still developing. It stands in contrast to the other characters who have effectively been fixed into some role or position (Yukiko as an inn manager, Rise as an idol), and unlike them, Yosuke hasn't been permanently relegated to the things that he starts off hating. He hasn't been written to stay in Inaba or even to continue working at Junes after graduation, instead he gets the opportunity to try things. imo this makes his arc more situational (and therefore layered) - Yosuke's perspective on his circumstance matures, but who he is as a person doesn't have to change, and he's not forced to make a trade-off with the wishes he had at the start.
This might be because Yosuke is Atlus' favourite character of the contrast between Yosuke's city background and the rest of the Inaba folk. There's a guy in the school who talks about how most people who finish high school in Inaba just go on to get jobs, and very few actually leave for college and beyond. It's something deeply realistic and reflective of human geography IRL, because that's very common in small communities. A fear of the outside world because of how isolated they are (and Inaba kind of is - remember how Yosuke said they barely had cell connectivity up until recently) means they tend to look inwards instead of out, so there isn't as strong an awareness of what else there is out there and a belief that your options are basically just that (it also makes it all the more impressive that they have surprisingly well-traveled teachers). Yosuke, on the other hand, is very much connected to the internet and the outside world, and he also tends to think about the things that he's missing out on more tangibly.
It makes for a very interesting parallel with Yukiko, who had grown up in Inaba all her life and also expresses that same interest in wanting to go out and see the world. Yukiko's idea about the kind of options that she has is weirdly limited for someone who is supposed to be at the top of her class. When you meet her at the bookstore, she talks about getting a job license so she could leave town, and her first thought was interior decorator (do you even need a license for that? it's not a chartered profession unlike an architect or interior designer, but things might work differently in japan). And maybe she does have a genuine interest in it so I'm talking shit, but it also feels like it's a job that she's aware of only because of the ryokan. As far as I could tell, we don't actually see her express any interest in, say, furniture themes or colour swatches and fabric textures in the way Kanji very clearly does. Her world view, like everyone else, is bounded by the reach of her experience, but because Inaba is so small and cloistered it impedes her ability to imagine beyond that. Even when she's thinking of leaving, her options are still limited to her experiences at the inn. I'm still really salty about how she decided to stay at the ryokan in the end, because something much more satisfying in my opinion would have been for her to get the opportunity to try different things elsewhere in the world, and if she decided that the ryokan was the right thing for her, then, well, fine, I guess? Or some cliche like exploring other inns elsewhere so she could bring that knowledge home. Especially since she had the support of her family and the inn staff, it makes her narrative feel more like an acceptance of her lot in life, rather than a genuine realisation that yeah, this was what she wanted, which was what the game wanted us to think, except it's not convincing. Instead, it just feels like a weird stagnation because her initial wish of wanting to see the world beyond the ryokan was not satisfied.
But hey, guess who does!
Yosuke gets to learn how to make the best of a situation, but ultimately, he's not beholden to it. He - and his writers - understand that he's not done growing, so he doesn't fix himself to a role that he doesn't like. AND IT'S GOOD. I just wish everyone else got that opportunity.
#asks#get-hit-with-the-wimp-stick#as you can see i have many thoughts on this#frankly i might also be extremely biased as a city person who hates being a frog in a well so this has deeply skewed my interpretation#also human geography is my special interest so that's a weird take there huh#not sure if this was the question you were asking but this is my answer
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I wouldn't say everyone is plural in the way that everyone has lots of folks in their head, or even multiple versions of themselves, but I think a lot of people would benefit from viewing themselves in similar ways to plural folk. With a plural perspective, one learns to embrace their complexity and parts (not just in the parts language sense; in a general sense), and not treat them as somehow separate from themselves. Healthy plurality requires communication and cooperation amongst headmates (even if that varies from plural to plural), and to do that properly – to eliminate and manage disputes – one must learn to accept all of who they are and listen to themselves, not tuck parts of themselves away and never share them with their system. Can headmates struggle with communication and cooperation? Can headmates prefer to keep certain things to themselves? Of course, and privacy is as warranted to individual headmates as by anyone else. But my point remains: a (healthy) plural perspective is one that goes against unnecessary suppression, encourages openness and understanding with oneself, and allows one to accept their many working parts, listening to all of who they are and taking all their voices – whether literal or metaphorical – into account.
This is at odds with the implicit teaching that certain parts of oneself are to be separated and then overcome or simplified. For example, fear. A good number of people can accept that they get scared sometimes, right? Or at the very least, anxious? But not a lot of people accept that fear as a part of them, something that's trying to protect them and communicate with them. Unless danger is obviously present, fear is often treated as irrational, unneeded, and just a plain ol' bother, something to be stamped out, not accepted and listened to.
But listening to fear is often the most effective way of handling it. Asking your fear, "Why are you here? What are you trying to protect me from?" and then devising a strategy to handle it often yields great results, as fear often fades when shown that you're not going to be eaten by the metaphorical tiger (or at least, have a plan for dealing with the metaphorical tiger) that it's trying to warn you about. Does my fear always completely go away when I do this? No, but it lessens much more when told, "See, I know how to handle this." or "There's nothing we can do about that now, but here's some other things we can do to make things better." compared to when it's told, "You're just going to make things worse."
My fear is not sentient or sapient. It doesn't even have a proper voice. And yet, it is a part of me I listen to, in order to lead a healthier and happier life.
Reach out to all parts of yourselves and don't be afraid to have layers. It's just part of the natural complexity of existence
#front soup.txt#plurality#pluralgang#actuallyplural#plural system#mental health#I guess? idk#how do I tag this? it's sorta about p.lurality but also not...
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I don't know if this a place to share, or if this even relevant to anything, but i want to share an observation.
I've been around queer groups for a decade or so, usually just observing and listening, and something i have observed is that very slowly trans women (specially out trans women and non-passing ones) seem to have incredible being reduce in meetings and talks.
Like i used to see way more of them but now it is becoming less and less. For some reason they seem to have been push out of the spaces very subtly and nobody seems to care (i don't have an explanation of this at all).
On the other hand the amount of trans men and trans masculine folk seem to have maintained some consistency. I don't exactly know whats going on this communities, but there seems to be something that is pushing trans women away, while not having the same effect on trans men.
I don't have any solutions, just wanted to share because i feel like as a trans woman I am less and less welcomed in queer spaces but can't really pin point why is that.
Thanks for your message anon and for sharing this observation. The thing is: We know what is going on! Trans women talk about this all the time! Trans men and other TME trans people speak over them, sexually harass them, downplay their concerns, talk about them having "male" socialization, take advantage of their emotional labor, ignore them, don't give them room to be vulnerable, nitpick their stories of abuse and mistreatment, disbelieve them when they have been victimized, and all the while complain that they are so much more visible and have so many more resources than trans mascs do (which just is not true) and talking about how disgusting penises are.
You probably have not noticed these dynamics happening directly; most men are oblivious to sexism to an extent, and even men who have experienced plenty of sexism themselves as trans guys can miss these dynamics when they are experienced by trans women. It also is the case that a lot of the worst abuses happen behind the scenes: there are a lot of predatory people who are trans or enby yet behave as invasive chasery creeps to trans women, all while constantly indicating to trans women that they will not be believed if they come forward about abuse -- and in fact will be accused of being the abusers themselves.
I have multiple trans women friends here in Chicago who simply cannot show up to certain queer community events like beach days or club nights because they know there's a specific "afab enby" there who will grope them and then accuse them of abuse. There's entire self-defense guides designed for trans women meant to address this specific issue because it is so widespread.
And that is just one issue that a lot of trans women face in gender diverse or generally queer spaces. At a queer/pup karaoke night two weeks ago, multiple drunk bar patrons harassed and physically attacked a trans woman there, and then when the cops arrived, they tried to arrest the trans woman. (Thankfully all the bar staff and event organizers were very very clear that she was not the one provoking the fight -- but the cops still didn't really believe them. The man who attacked her is banned from the bar now forever. She isn't. If she'd been in a slightly less sympathetic crowd, who knows what would have happened).
In another local queer community group I used to attend, a trans femme board member was accused of abuse in the vaguest terms possible -- by someone who has now, years later, been outed as abusing multiple women close to him himself. Most people in this group have no idea about it, of course. It all happened in shadowy conjecture and whisper campaigns. I could go on and on and thanks for your patience but you get the picture.
I don't know what the vibe is in the groups you frequent, and I can't guarantee that any of the trans women have dropped off the map because of anything as severe as this, but I pretty much can guarantee there are some dynamics there that are making them uncomfortable. My suggestion? If there were any trans women in the group that you liked, try hitting them up. Ask some of them out for coffee. Ask what she's been reading or watching lately. Go to the museum or a show. Be her friend. Don't pry about why she stopped going to the group, just be a friendly, supportive presence in her life. In time, you might learn why she and others like her stopped going to that space. or you'll just have greater gender diversity in your life and your support circle, which is really important. Some trans spaces are utterly ruined by the presence of a few toxic trans mascs or aggressively afab-identified people. But you can help to build better spaces one relationship at a time.
Thanks again for your message.
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