#they're not that hard to set up

[introvert-time-art]

i wonder if shax would like iced coffee

#good omens #good omens 2 #crowley good omens #good omens fanart #it looks like they're setting her up to be an actual antagonist #which is so sad because i love her #why cant they just gossip and be silly #girlboss shax and girlfailure crowley #they r friends #trying so hard to get better at colors

[yangjeongin]

when he

#hwang hyunjin #stray kids #bystay #createskz #malegroupsnet #a9gifs #hyunjin #flashing tw #*gif #*ccarly #*hyunjin #*carly:hyunjin #this set made me sooooo mad look at him and also the dark ones were so fking hard to color good gawd #theyr'e still ugly but we pretend they're fine ok thanks #200920 hyunjin love of my life this is like the sixth time we've giffed him on yangjeongin but it's what he deserves #i also don't think these are synced up but my internet is so bad they never load at the same time so idk sdfgsdgdfdhd #i'm tired of messing with them anyway so hopefully they're fine <3 #back door era i miss you every day fr i love u so dearly #*hits

[potionpeddlerpatchy]

Okay, no but like hear me out for a second.

You're invited to your close friend's wedding to Kirishima, and despite her saying otherwise, she, the groom himself, and both sets of parents try the entire time to set you up with the best man; Bakugou Katsuki

#and like the whole reason they are is because he asked to be set up #and they think you'll be PERFECT for him #so like during the day before dinner and celebration they're calling you over to him to introduce yourself and join their conversations #and during the wedding and reception itself they're pushing you together to take pictures #basically anything they can to get you and him talking - a task hard to do cause you're not in the bridal party #but he's into it and by the end of the night (and with a few sips of liquid courage) he's asking you to dance with him #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x reader

[uncanny-tranny]

I totally get gendered petnames like dude, sis, bro, and whatever else, and I get why some people might be confused as to why some trans people might take issue with a petname you might think is neutral. However, I do want people to remember that trans people often have different relationships with those petnames because they're gendered, and they might be uncomfortable with those connotations. A trans woman who doesn't want you to call her "dude" is probably not doing it to anger or accuse you of anything, but she might just have a negative relationship with that word.

I get that it can be hard to change habits, but it is worth it to include trans people. If a trans person in your life asks you not to use certain words, I promise they aren't trying to fuck you over or make you feel like you're under attack. They are just expressing a boundary - one that cis people also express.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #the example i gave is again just one instance of what i'm talking about #i can get why it's hard like... i use 'bro' and shit like it's a filler word and it's a habit of mine #however it isn't anybody's fault that i'm like that and i'm more than willing to stop using it for somebody #because it's like... that word is just a word to me and that means i can abandon its use at any time #and if not using it means that somebody feels included then fuck yeah i'm going to not use it #i just hear people weirdly antagonizing trans people for setting these boundaries and it's like... #...have you MET a cis person because they do the same things as trans people (it's just seen as more acceptable ig) #it IS annoying that people want to have the same conversations again and again and again #because ngl i only made this post because of the antagonism these trans people face for... no reason??? #they're literally going 'please don't call me [x]' and yet that is still too polarizing????????? HUH?????? #you'd think that that trans person like... ran a car through a bank with how they're treated but no... they're just stating a preference #and it's crazy to me because it's EASY to not do... because it's a non-action. and if you fuck up all you have to do is apologize #the hardest thing to do would be to watch what you're saying a little more but that's like... not a big deal???????

[earlgodwin]

"He's spent the entire time being picked upon and bullied by the family. I think personally from where Juan stands he sees the hypocrisy in the family, how they can do one thing and say another. As far as Juan is concerned he's always had the best interests of the family at heart, however misguided that might be and doesn't quite comprehend why nobody understands that. Nobody seems to understand that what he does, he does for the betterment of the Borgia clan and never waivers from that. He does that in ways that perhaps aren't sanctioned by the church or sanctioned by family law."

#oh spill the tea!! he truly believed he was doing something right. an impulsive sad lonely dude who doesn't think through #he was bestowed a position he never gave a fuck about in the first place because being a soldier is NOT what he wanted #he just wanted his family's love and affection. a simple i love you would've gone a long way #the way he teases cesare about being a cardinal because that's the only way to get his attention it's just a little brother thingie #and yet cesare took it way too personal lol crazy to me how cesare was the one who slowly destroyed juan before killing him #like how he forced his hand to murder djem and then slowly sabotaging him by mocking him constantly then setting him up to die at forli #by not informing him that ludovico's army was coming for his neck like even from a military stand point cesare ruined the forli mission fr #because he decided to prioritize his own jealousy of juan; humiliating him and hoping him to die so he can take his position as a soldier #the hypocrisy part is sooo tea because cesare killed juan in cold blood telling him that they're borgias and they never forgive #5 mins later he's begging rodrigo to forgive him for killing juan like bro was just saying that to dying juan to destroy him mentally first #i'm screaming he singlehandedly caused juan's spiraling into darkness. how are you gonna fuck up your brother that hard helpppp ?!!?!?! #fucked up dysfunctional family that i love #david oakes #juan borgia #the borgias #theborgiasedit #perioddramaedit #televisiongifs #tvedit #by jen

[animalcrossingshowdown]

you’re pitting those bad bitches(mom’s plushie) together and it pains me to see them fight😔

okay people say this every round for most match ups but it has never been more true than with mom's plushies

#these are sooo hard I didn't think about it before queuing them all up #they're a set ! they go together ! #tangentially related one time I gave a younger cousin two of my cat plushies and I gave her two because they were matching #so she couldn't take just one. they were a do not separate pair #(ty scared-e and fraidy if you want to look them up) #and years later I found out my aunt got rid of one because they're the same and I was like what the fuck !!!! no they are sisters !!!!! #and my cousin was like 'SEE THAT'S WHAT I SAID!!!' #and even if they were two identical plushies then they are extra a set they are twins

[sysig]

Delusions (Patreon)

"Could I have your hand, sir?" Max didn't move, which Dexter was, sadly, getting used to.

"Sir?" Max jerked, then turned and stared at him, lost and blank. "Your hand, please."

Max's hand lifted shakily, and he laid it gently in Dexter's upturned palm. Dexter gave a quick and quiet "thank you," then turned it over in his own hand, observing him closely.

Too closely - his knuckles were rough and his fingernails were dull and cracked in places. His once-soft, not-a-day-in-his-life-subjected-to-hard-labour hands were now, already, toughened and split and scarred in places, especially the heel of his palm. He turned it over again, this time to stop looking so intensely. He had only wanted to give it a cursory glance to begin with.

"Do you know what I see, sir?" he asked as conversationally as he could manage, running his fingers along Max's abused flesh. He seemed to be at least half paying attention, his eye gazing down between them, and he'd occasionally twitch, encouragingly Dexter thought. He seemed to want to curl around him, then stopped and shook, his hand squeezing into a fist. Dexter coaxed him back out, encouraged him to hold himself lightly.

"What do you see?" He was almost startled by Max actually continuing their conversation, that happened so rarely now, shaking and quiet as it was. He took a deep breath, was he really going to do this?

"I see a hand, with five fingers." Max remained quiet, though his brow curled, and a guarded look came into his eye, though he still wasn't looking at Dexter. He felt a pang of guilt, but he had to try. "What do you see?"

Max's eye unfocused and began to water. He looked up, but not enough to reach Dexter's gaze in return, instead staring through his chest, and he felt just as hollow and empty as he must look to him.

"Do you take me for a fool, DAX?" Quiet and as close to angry as he'd heard since they'd been here.

No, not angry.

Betrayed.

He swallowed down the stinging lump at the back of his throat. He had to put on a brave face, had to keep his composure if he wanted Max to get better. That was the only thing he wanted, more than anything.

"Of course not, sir. Genuinely, what do you see?"

Max pulled his hand away and turned his body, his bandaged side facing Dexter. Shutting him out, pointedly. Dexter's empty hand curled into a fist, he was no better.

"Please, don't..." Max took a shallow, shuddering breath, and several beats before he spoke again, even quieter. "Don't ridicule me." Dexter could hear his breath catch, and he wanted nothing more than for this all to just stop.

"Sir, I didn't-"

"I've had enough of that." He shook his head stiffly, the action strange and wrong, like he had forgotten how. He stilled, his head turned even further away. "More than enough."

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #Dexter Favin #And a drabble-fic under the cut #I ended up writing that the night after I read - I was a bit too inspired while busy so it's a little on the unfocused side haha #I would've cleaned it but I worry it wouldn't make it out of that stage! Please enjoy it for now <3 #This set is mostly periphery ideas - inspired by events rather than directly shown ♪ I suppose the first two kinda count tho #But they're more directly of the little scene I wrote ouò Poor ZEX </3 #And Dex! He's usually so capable! But he's stretching himself so thin ahh it's hard to watch in the best way #Of course he doesn't want to give ''Max'' over to just anyone - anyone at all really - both of their trusts have bottomed out #But how much could he reasonably care for him in that state? When he's still being actively haunted and most importantly - Not Max #He needs helps he needs support he needs to sleep and shower but a second with his eyes off Max and - then what? He'll immolate from fear #It's hard to imagine him crying but pushed to this extreme? To the thought of losing Max utterly and completely? Hhhhh #I do also just love him being possessive even outside of how terrible the situation is - he's always had his glimpses but this situation #Brings out the worst in him <3 In terrible ways #Really his method is just setting ''Max'' up nearby and prompting him over the sound of the shower like that's not nerve-wracking at all #Like he already doesn't answer half the time if that #As for the mini fic I was really interested in Dex's line about indulging ''Max's'' delusions #Apart from the fact that they're not delusions - not that anyone believes him outside of the Institute - what it means to indulge is weird #I saw one example of how to handle delusions that stuck with me - how not to deny them outright while also not reinforcing them #Since it's not actually helpful to be told ''That isn't Really happening to you'' when to you - to ZEX - it really is! How invalidating #And so rather to take the approach of ''I don't see/feel/hear what you are - I can't find any evidence of it myself'' and extrapolating #Dex taking the approach of ''What reality are you experiencing right now?'' and trying to build from there! #Unfortunately ZEX has already been treated like....well like all that - he's not in the mood for games even well-intentioned ones #He /knows/ he's in a human body. He can feel that and see that and understands that. It doesn't change who - what he /is/ #The idea of a completely broken ZEX is so sad to me :( He's so strong and prideful and vivacious - Max really is another him </3 #It's not the same but he was saved from death! To fall into torture... But even despite that I want to see him succeed! As much as he can #Even in that small and shaking way I want to see him be hateful and spiteful - angry. Powerful <3 Fighting ♥

[melonisopod]

Oh I see why you all like Kabru now he's wonderful.

#dungeon meshi #i think you'd be hard pressed to find a character who's not at least a little interesting #but i loved seeing him in action. he's so smart! #AND HOW HE STOPPED RIN FROM USING THE SPELL ;LSKDJFKWEHTJKWEHTK #i love his party too they have such a fun dynamic! #they're clearly set up to be foils to the touden party #but they still feel like solid characters on their own even if you didn't know they're the main party's foils

[lit-in-thy-heart]

[ID: the train hitting a school bus meme. In the first panel, an empty school bus edges over train tracks and is labelled 'writing planned angst' with a train approaching. In the second panel, the train crashes into the bus and knocks it off the tracks. The train is labelled 'different angst suddenly writing itself'. End ID.]

#and you'll never guess who it's about!!! #(lancelot. it's lancelot again) #like #gwaine i set out to break #lancelot just leaks angst without me having to think too hard about it #like the main angst that was planned for this fic is a kind of fucked up dynamic but i'm 1.5k in and have not even scratched the surface #instead it's all been the implied trauma of the s3 finale #i think it's going to be another long fic lads #but i am getting quite excited to write this now #already have a substantial playlist a list of plot points to include and tags to put on ao3 #and i feel like one has quite succinctly summarised what i'm aiming for: #'what if you get into a relationship for the wrong reasons but you genuinely love the people you're with huh what then' #i don't often write actively doomed relationships mostly bc canon does it for me #mainly it's they're hoping they've got time and think that they do but it's canon compliant so the readers know they don't #but with this one they're actively making poor choices and things are just getting more fucked up #it's going to be SO much fun #lit talks #lit writes

[martianbugsbunny]

"I'm not with Gravik cause I'm with you" vs whatever the heck Priscilla's doing

#not Priscilla hate btw #in this house we don't hate on the canon love interest just because they're canon #....because in this house we ignore canon lol #but I would bet that the parallel between her and talos in episode three was set up very intentionally #they're both people who know Nick very well and have had front row seats to how hard it can be to care for someone with his job #people who have worked with him for decades #one seems to have lost faith in him and one apparently has the utmost belief in him #it's really quite beautiful #nick fury #talos #priscilla fury #secret invasion #espionage husbands #nick fury x talos #talos x nick fury #the furys #parallels #martianbugsbunny ships #martianbugsbunny opines

[legless-fish-on-rollerskates]

Another banger of a percy jackson episode, my hopes for this series continue to be high

#adored their dynamic in this episode #setting up the group relationships so well for where they're going in the future #grover my boy i adore him he's trying so hard to keep everything from falling apart #real mvp of this episode #also i really like how they're balancing updates for the present day's understanding of complexity and remaining true to the original story #they did a great job with making medusa more of a person than she was in the books while still narratively forcing it to end how it needs to #and their characterizations are so clear! #the fatal flaws! #i love #pjo #pjo series #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson tv #pjo series spoilers

[bunnieswithknives]

I actually have an idea for swapping the teachers! Maybe instead of swapping the ones that are commonly associated with eachother, the ones with similar lessons could be swapped! [ Ex. Warren and shrignold since their lessons are both relationship related or electricity and Colin Since they're both lessons about electronics ]

having thoughts rn

#dhmis #don't hug me i'm scared #two of us au #none of this is set in stone #a lot of the characters are very hard to separate from their lesson because they're. ya' know. objects that relate directly to that them #some of them keep their lesson but swap motivations #and some of them swap lessons but keep their personalities/motivations #i left out Food and the Lamp but they barely show up anyway so im ignoring them

[embyrinitalics]

Don't get me wrong. Tears of the Kingdom is a fantastic game. I'm still having so much fun with it. It delivered on so many fronts. It has my favorite final boss in the series. And the new mechanics really do make BotW feel like a tech demo.

But.

My Big Complaint is: TotK should not have been a sequel to BotW.

(spoilers below the cut!)

I understand why they did it, and think it was inevitable. Getting to reuse the assets and maps saved so much time. And BotW was such a huge success that they couldn't not give it a sequel.

But seriously, what the heck?

TotK's storytelling basically ignored or erased everything that happened in BotW. What happened to the Sheikah tech that was literally everywhere? The Divine Beasts that had been plaguing the four regions for a century? Zelda's incorporeal battle with evil incarnate for 100 years and the inevitable trauma she and Link must have after everything that's happened to them? Nah we don't talk about that. Half the NPCs don't even know who Link is despite having plenty of canonical interactions.

And I'm like, ok, I get it, sure. We are so 100% into this new plot we don't have time to explain away the old stuff and I'll just have to deal with it. All right, sure! BotW had very cool and well crafted lore, I'm sure TotK will too! I can't wait for this airtight new story!

Except 🤨

Who are the Zonai actually? Why did they come to Hyrule and from where? Why do we only meet two of them? If Rauru and Sonia are the first of the Royal Family, is she part of the goddess' bloodline (a direct descendant of SS Zelda)? Did she die childless? If they had a child, was it distinctly half Zonai? SO MANY GANONDORF QUESTIONS I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START??!?! What's the deal with the secret stones anyway? Who made them? Why do they cause draconification? Is that what happened to Dinraal, Farosh, and Naydra? The Sheikah Shrines were trials left behind by devoted monks who underwent self mummification to train the Hero, but what's the deal with the Zonai ones again? And if they're supposed to be for Link too, when did Rauru have time to build them? And like the Depths?! Make zero sense??!

I could go on and on. As much fun as this game is and as cinematic as a lot of it was, the whole thing is riddled with holes and would've been SO MUCH BETTER if they just made it its own pocket universe like they did with Termina. Trying to have it make sense in the world BotW already established is impossible, and honestly just sort of like. Disrespectfully shoves BotW's dead body off a cliff and hopes no one finds the remains.

So, yeah! Great game! Beefy cutscenes! Fantastic ending! Awesome mechanics! But really really disappointing BotW erasure.

(I also feel like it suffered from trying to follow the same open world formula? Lots of people found the Tears in the wrong order and felt like they spoiled the story for themselves. And the way you were going around doing "search for Zelda" sidequests when you knew where she was but couldn't tell anyone seemed like an oversight. And I wouldn't have minded some more traditional dungeons, like what the Fire and Lightning temples had going on, but just, like. More.)

#totk #totk spoilers #totk complaints #THIS SOUNDS REALLY NEGATIVE I ACTUALLY DO LOVE THE GAME I SWEAR 😂 #But I also have Strong Opinions about it lol #especially as a fic writer I'm having a hard time like. #even attempting a totk fic that touches on the new elements is intimidating because they're so contradictory with the world we know #and like trying to reconcile it all in a way that makes sense just so I can tell a lil story in that setting does not appeal to me #I just came up with a weird theory tho maybe the Zonai tricked Din Farore and Nayru into eating stones and turned them into dragons 🐉🤔 #silly goddesses secret stones are for sages? #long post

[youraveragecatastrophe]

[Image description : three drawings of characters from the 2019 show Carmen Sandiego, lined with black ink and colored with pencils. Carmen is wearing a striped shirt with the colors of the original Gilbert Baker flag, and she and Player are draped with a large transgender flag. They are looking at each other and smiling. Julia, her hands in her pants' pockets, wears a brown leather jacket and a horizontally-striped shirt the colors of the lesbian flag. She is looking at the viewer and smiling. Devineaux, his hands on his hips in a proud posture, wears a vintage-styled jacket in the colors of the transgender flag. /End description]

To cap off this pride month, a few of my queer headcanons for Carmen Sandiego (2019) characters!

I headcanon Player as a trans boy and Carmen as a trans woman! I also definitely think Carmen's sapphic but I don't have a more specific identity in mind for her.

Julia is a lesbian ofc. Her shirt is inspired by this retro lesbian shirt! If I had seen it before inking I would have made it an actual shirt with a collar and all but alas I saw it too late.

And I headcanon Devineaux as a trans man. His jacket was heavily based on this vintage jacket, obviously with the colors reworked. That's his new lucky coat probably.

(I have headcanons for other characters but since they're less fixed I won't talk about them here)

#carmen sandiego 2019 #carmen sandiego #player cs #julia argent #chase devineaux #my art #yeah it's the beginning of july. what about it. i finished these the night of the 30th of june it still counts #some additional notes that i don't want to clog the description up with : #imagine player and carmen going to pride together. just imagine it 🥺 #julia's jacket is a nod to treasures of knowledge's jules who wears a similar jacket! #my thought process can often be boiled down to 'omg they chose their own name... trans' #now obviously that's mostly true for devineaux. it started as a fun haha thought after s4 and now it just is. #carmen obviously has a lot more trans coding. and i love the idea of her and player being t&t #i can't for the life of me imagine julia as anything other than a lesbian #fun fact about me is i can't design clothes. so if they look any more elaborate than 'pants and shirt' i probably needed a ref or five #also colouring with pencils is hard. i hope the colors are mostly fine i stared at them for so long i don't want to look at them anymore #now i have another set of drawings i wanted to finish for the end of s2 but they're LATE bc the last drawing is taking forever #someone (me) had the brilliant idea of drawing a fucking detailed pattern by hand instead of making a pattern with photoshop. smh

[vargaslovinghours]

Coparenting a baby, now with separate bodies!

#💟 #Doodles #Art #Edgar #Todd #Scriabin #Baby Todd AU #More of this - it's the cutes I am so not immune to cutes #Now an After set! I like to imagine both but gosh what a tumultuous time to take care of a baby #It's another one of those Don't Think Too Hard About It scenarios lol it's fine #Honestly it was like 80% that first set that initially inspired me to want to draw something along these lines - #Edgar completely worn out trying so hard to be a good dad but at his wit's end and begging Scriabin to help him and he does ahhh ♥ #That tiny bit of give and take #Holding each other steady 💕 #It's a struggle but they're in it together ♥ #And then some confident and happy Dadgars because my heart ♪ Hehe ♫ #He gets a hands-free carrier and the world is back open to him! He can hold his baby and still cook food! Utter delight haha #House husband ♥ And he brings in the paycheck! He's super mom #Little baby Todd peeking up over his shoulder gets me so bad it's so flipping cute aghfslajffd #His tiny haaaaaand fdslafjklfsdfkdlsaj #Ahem anyway lol #Onto names and words and such! :D #Mouth shapes are still the funnest haha #Scriabin actively trying to teach Todd words and Edgar letting him ♪ As long as he doesn't start teaching him swears or anything lol #And little Todd mirroring and learning ah ♪ #He does retain stuff! He takes a little nap and when he wakes up and goes to play and Scriabin's out then comes back - this ✨ #Scriabin's name is very important to him but also it's cute but encouraging it mmmmmmmm #He'll learn with time ♪ Unless he chooses to call them dad to some degree being a very young child in their care hehe #So many little things they can do separately together ♥

[the-apples-were-monitored]

this is going to be a very uncomfortable and potentially triggering conversation so i suggest you scroll past if you have a lot of empathy because this isn't fun at all

also wanna preface this by saying i'm not interested in spreading conspiracy theories or "truther" claims because i feel that's incredibly disrespectful and potentially harmful to the people that need the most help. any allusions to unverified rumors will be presented as uncorroborated, not as fact (only bringing them up because i know that's the kind of rumor floating around and i don't want to seem like i'm participating somehow in dismissing concerns). because we simply don't know. and it's not our business.

i've had this bad feeling about amanda bynes for the past decade. it's the same pattern we've seen with child stars over and over again. the drugs, the mental breakdown, the conservatorship. but i pushed those nagging thoughts away. i didn't have the bandwidth at the time because i was living in an abusive household when her most public battles were happening. i didn't have the time or the emotional understanding to put towards what was happening to her even as i felt it mirrored what i was going through or what my mom was going through. then i found out about dan schneider a few years ago. i didn't really engage with the rumor and speculation about him - i was in my early 20s when this all broke and i didn't know most of the shows he'd been involved with except by the fact that my younger siblings watched them. i'd been an amanda bynes fan - hugely into the amanda show and what i like about you. my siblings watched drake and josh, icarly, and victorious. i didn't have the emotional bandwidth at the time to look into what people were saying. i knew it would upset me if i learned too much. but i couldn't stop thinking about amanda.

i heard about quiet on set from news websites. i saw the headlines about drake bell. it shook me to my core. the things i was reading were horrific and immediately put me in mind of what my sister went through as a teenage survivor of repeated sexual abuse by a man who was trusted with our care. she'd had a huge crush on drake when we were growing up. i wonder if she's heard about this.

this immediately made me think about amanda again. this time i couldn't push the thought away. i guess i'm finally ready to process the way this whole situation has felt to me.

the way people talk about amanda reminds me of how people in the 50s talked about judy garland. child star with incredible talent, far beyond her years, with incredible charm and personality and the whole world at her fingertips. everyone loved working with her. until she became erratic and had a mental breakdown fueled by drugs. (you could even argue there were parallels because both women were frequently typecast as the wholesome girl next door and not really allowed to break out of that infantilizing box.) and no one could ever think why. why does this happen.

i've come to believe that mental illness always has a cause. brain chemistry fucked up by trauma, whether that's long-term stress or a singular event or repeated traumas stacking on top of each other. the mind can't cope. i really, truly believe something horrific happened to amanda bynes. and i know people will say, well, maybe it wasn't dan schneider. she was doing fine for years after she stopped working with him. i want to make one thing very clear. trauma doesn't always manifest symptoms immediately. not everyone comes out of a trauma looking shell shocked. i know from my experience because i didn't have my breakdown until a year after my abuser was exposed and i'm still feeling the consequences to my psyche to this day. and i think it must be difficult for child stars to process this trauma. the pattern i've seen is the child star endures something terrible, gets incredible fame and begins taking on more and more pressure, then when this isn't enough to make them happy they turn to drugs. you think because they got out that it would all just go away? no. they were raised to play characters so they played those characters. there was incredible pressure to just play those characters because that's what the fans want. having struggles isn't part of the brand. it had to be especially rough on nick stars because there wasn't much separation between them and the characters they played. it was the amanda show. drake and josh used their real first names. the separation between who they were and who the character was was probably a very blurred line.

i wonder how long this documentary has been in production. tracking down these people and petitioning courts had to have taken ages. amanda was supposed to be at 90s con last year but cancelled due to illness and had another psychotic episode. 90s con itself may have been a trigger for her, but if someone had reached out to her or if she'd heard about this production...i could see that triggering her and making her relive the horror she went through. there are so many unsubstantiated rumors floating around. i can't speak to whether she was high on adderall during that interview when she was 12 (she could've just been a hyper child but they could've been pulling a judy garland on her and i don't trust these people plus she's said she got hooked on adderall when she was a teenager for weight loss but she may not feel comfortable disclosing if the studio has her under NDA). i can't verify if that side twitter actually belonged to amanda. it could be some sicko thought it was funny to accuse her boss of knocking her up and forcing her to get an abortion at 13 or accusing her father of various things.

but i get why she wouldn't speak up because people won't believe her no matter what she says. i went through something and people in my hometown still debate whether i'm crazy or lying for attention. my family did everything they could to put me under control and get me diagnosed as paranoid or delusional so they wouldn't face justice. (really don't get me started on how the mental healthcare system is used by abusers to cover up their sins.) i wouldn't put it past her parents to do that, especially considering amanda had a bad relationship with them as a teenager which sent her further into that groomer's clutches. she doesn't owe us anything because it'll start a firestorm that could retrigger her as people debate if she's delusional or scrutinize her past mistakes to determine if she's a perfect enough victim to deserve sympathy.

which brings me to drake bell. i knew he was the victim before i watched the doc but it still gave me chills when he sat down in that chair. like it felt like the air drained from the room. it was so obvious that what he went through has affected him so deeply and that he had no one to turn to. my abuser had so much community support, so many people making us out to be lying opportunistic bitches. i can't imagine having to carry that secret. i wonder if the people around him can pinpoint it in retrospect when he started being different. i want the other kids on set to know that it's not their fault they didn't know and that they had a bad opinion of him at some point. my sister and i were pitted against each other by the man who assaulted her and it's only with context later that i can see what was going on. i have no doubt that schneider employed these tactics so no one would feel comfortable disclosing what happened to them.

i admit that i cried watching the drake bell episode. that had to be incredibly difficult for him to open up about it after all these years and i hope he can get some closure and that someone starts a support group for these former nick stars.

and to drake bell himself. you were a child. you had no idea what grooming looks like. most grown people don't seem to know what grooming looks like based on how they talk about these issues. you are not at fault for what that man did to you or not knowing how to handle it. you didn't do anything to encourage this and you're not at fault.

and to his father. i appreciate that you did what you could to try to protect him. my mother had a similar experience trying to protect us from my abuser but everyone assumed she was psychotic and had her put away. try not to blame yourself when you were the lone voice of reason and everyone else insisted you were in the wrong. i do have fault to throw on amanda bynes' parents to some degree depending on what part of all this is true, but i can't find fault with drake bell's father who did try when he saw something wrong.

and i'm sorry but dan being super nice to drake afterwards seems like an attempt to make himself look better and get another hit show. i don't believe for a second that dan didn't know anything or that he had any motives beyond making his own star rise. he wanted to churn out product, and couldn't have that product if drake bell was visibly distraught.

i want to know how many people have known it was drake for 20 years and said nothing. how many people were in peck's side of the courtroom and yet still had the audacity to think this child was at fault in some way. that's vile and utterly unforgivable.

i just want to end this by saying to leave these people alone. don't harass anyone who hasn't spoken up because they may not be in a headspace where it's healthy of them to say anything. they don't owe us any explanation of why.

#this hit me incredibly hard i'm sorry #quiet on set #rape tw #abuse tw #i'm not addressing the jamie lynn spears rumors because it's ghoulish to speculate when she wasn't even a subject of the doc #i hope she's found some healing and honestly it is unforgivable how the public slutshamed a 16 year old #finding out from my sources that people at the time joked that dan knocked her up like #i'm sorry? you slutshamed her and made jokes and made light of a potential rapist??? #i will throw hands #also asking people to not bring up the past actions of drake bell or amanda bynes in this discussion #they're not perfect victims but nobody is #a vulnerable child is a vulnerable child and i would like to live in a world where we focus on prevention so people don't grow up disturbed